Please Stop Talking - My French Canadian Wedding (feat. MandaloreGaming, Noodle & Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: July 5, 2024

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Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music, and it's not just sounds and instruments, it's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter fares include beer, wine, and snacks and free fast streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation

includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Howdy! PSD and its shows are mostly supported by you guys. And actually enjoy economy. All of that stuff helps like you wouldn't believe. Thanks so much for i slushy i don't think i knew about this either yeah no no no that's a that's a thing brendan and i ran into a lot of weird shit we got i feel like i fucking missed out what the hell that's the brand of who saw i think like that they make all their slushies like i mean they're not actually flavored like sewers and shit but

they call them like they call them sewer rotten cheese piss shit fart that's like a very 90s thing to do where it's like look eat the gross flavor yeah it's like the fucking the jelly bean company and they have like yeah yeah oh uh bean boozled yeah bean booze the harry the harry potter ones where it's like oh you get earwax isn't that the same thing yeah where it's like don't you want to eat egg they're the same company yeah gotcha jelly belly that's the one oh yeah yeah you know the popcorn flavor jelly beans are fucking banging and i won't pretty good no they're not are you the dum-dums that are popcorn flavored and the jelly beans that are popcorn flavors are are fucking banging oh you're fucking i'm on your team billy you're the second person i know who like

loves popcorn flavor. Popcorn flavor and artificial banana. I love that flavor. One of my friends, I only get her like popcorn flavor jelly beans. Like, she fucking loves that. That's a little weird. Exclusively. No, no, no. You can buy bags of just, like, one jelly bean flavor. She's like, give me popcorn. Give me

a big bag of popcorn ones. That's strange. I'm pretty sure you can just special order those as well. Yeah, you can, but like whatever. Special order popcorn like that shit is fucking nasty. Sewage and swamp flavor. Yeah, sewage and swamp flavor. Special order Garrett's popcorn, though. That shit's good.

That's my brother's name. That's crazy. That is your brother's name. Does he make the popcorn? No, he works. He works in a warehouse and he pick up the box and he draw. He just got his new teeth in the other day. i'm now the only adult in my family that has almost all of his full human teeth well listen if you consider me a brother i'll fucking i'll get rid

of my teeth for you okay so you can still be the only one with teeth good speaking of family billy speaking of family we do like a hard intro is this do we want to do like a hard welcome to the podcast yeah everybody came up because we i just got married yeah happy bride month i mean i got married a year ago but the wedding was right now i know dude people always ask on comments like why why do you call him your your husband but you're not married you didn't have your wedding yet you know why the legal stuff weddings are expensive the legal stuff literally takes no fucking time and also like put yourself in the position of loving another human being and like being able to say you're married to them why would you not do

that i mean it's whatever it's all to be fair like my fiance also sounds like shit so i i but i was actually married like legally i was already married so at that point he was already my husband is just like now with the wedding i feel much more like we're husband husbands you know i you feel more gay a lot more shitting with the door open moments i feel so gay like when i got into the wedding venue all I could think of was just like, holy shit, this is so low. The only thing I walked in and went, holy shit, they give Long Island's and portions like these. Oh my God.

Also really cheap. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be honest, guys. I was generous with my wedding. Okay. Like I got the receipt at the end and I was like, whoa, damn, my friends can drink. Shelby knew about me recording today.

She's like, make sure you mention that I kept up with 10. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. She fully kept up with 10 in five inch heels. That's because women are horrifying. No, women are horrifying with alcohol, dog. I thought you were just saying in general.

I was going to say that. I mean, yeah. I mean, they're also horrifying because I'm a gay man. That's because I'm a gay man. I'm literally horrified of women. It's not a preference thing. It's more just like it's it's just like the path of least resistance for you. My wife kept walking up to Billy and Billy would go and then run away every time. It was really hard. There were a lot of women in that fucking wedding. Why did I invite all the things that scared me? you should have put a sign up on the door this is no girls allowed no girls allowed girls spelled with a u girls why did we get a real venue we could have got a tree for it no it was perfect like billy's older sister asking me about music on the dance floor was really fun i loved i loved the part where they put me and you at boo's family table and i told boo's mom to check out my youtube channel

from the top from the top let me let me explain to you how it was for me when you were fucking supper started we had just finished the cocktail we had a nice little drink i was feeling a little tipsy. I was feeling good. We start getting the salads. We start getting the appetizers, and they're fantastic. Everything is so nice. From the fucking, my right ear, it starts tickling because I hear Mountain Dew Review. I knew what was happening.

I stood up. I looked straight at the table with booze fucking entire family. And I, in my head, when we were doing the tables, I was like, Brendan can be normal. And he's very normal. Usually when he's in public.

So this will work, but no, Brendan decided it was time to just talk about his YouTube channel with his entire family. And you know what? At the end of the wedding, they came up to us and they were like, Oh, that your friend over there he has his youtube channel he does mountain dew he does reviews for mountain dew yeah yeah they think you're an official reviewer

they think you're an official reviewer well the thing is i also heard him directly talk about his gameplay videos to them too gaming i just mentioned it i just mentioned it i didn't say anything it was it was like a nervous moment where like when i get nervous i'm like why would you get nervous nothing was happening you put me with family this happened before in chicago like we were in a new room driver just asked hey so what do you do for a living right well i'm a i'm an online content creator and just immediately like everything scared i don't know how to talk to people you wouldn't last a single fucking second in any prison ever billy i'm laying the groundwork you don't understand it's called networking billy it's

called networking one new subscriber Here's the fucking thing. I know for a fucking fact that they actually checked you out. Yeah. They went to the hotel and they actually checked you out. New subscribers. All I'm saying, the reason I brought it up, my mom loves sharing those videos with people. We'll do a conference call. We can get Brandon on it too to convince them.

Like an elevator pitch a week later yeah yeah yeah are you sure you don't want to subscribe here's the reasons why you should it's a new outreach program oh dude fuck you i was i believed in you so hard i remember doing the tables is so hard for a wedding and i remember fucking agonizing over it i was like fuck what who do i put where and i genuinely thought you wouldn't throw your spaghetti on the floor and just start listen listen all i old old white ladies love it when i talk about that stuff i don't know why but like that's how i got away with getting my passport like express listen the thing is i think you're right because they were like oh that brendan fella and his mountain? Like, they immediately came to tell us about that.

They knew. They knew. They're going to walk away remembering me. Boo's family is going to remember me. Yeah. More than the wedding. They're going to remember you. You were the highlight.

See, that's funny because for me, my family remembers Mandy the most. That makes sense. Why? Did you not see Mandy in the middle of dinner service get up and start dancing right dancing queen this is true in front of everybody yeah i forgot that mandy was a catalyst for that i was yeah you forgot i was the catalyst for the dancing yeah those long islands had big portions you got fucking possessed by a demon for a little bit you left such a mark with our families dude you got so into it that like you had the

entire wedding cheering for you and then you continue to dance into like into the bathroom. Yeah, no all the way across the area up the stairs and then onto the balcony and into the toilet and then could see you still dancing on the balcony

into the bathroom. Yeah you you have impressed my mom. All I'm saying is like my, my parents and my fucking, my close family, my aunts would not shut the fuck up about the guy who was dancing during dinner. I'm glad that we've collectively left a good impression.

Cause then they clear the tables and said, we should start dancing. In fact, that's one thing I'm proud of was the way that we started doing the dance was I told the furry table because there was an actual furry table. I'm sorry to all who was on the furry table. Segregation is still alive and well in America and Canada. Yeah.

I told them they had to get up and go to the bar because we wanted to do our first dance and we were, it's a big venue, but there were more guests than i thought that would come so that we had to take the table out we did our first dance and our first dance was to origami angels brightest days and what i did was before the song started i went to every single person that i could and i was like when it starts like the guitar starts i want to fucking mosh pit at my wedding and i could like we did the most awkward dancing ever and got every like when the guitar started like no i started going get the fuck in get the fuck in and dude we had an actual mosh pit at the wedding it was so sick you you caught me coming out of the bathroom to tell me and i had to ask you like four or five different times

i was like you're sure once you were sure that you're sure i ran downstairs and started gathering people my mom started screaming like she was like i didn't do it was awesome though my mom was so surprised she was so happy i did something stupid like that it was fucking awesome that rolls i i don't think anything else happened at the wedding it was like I lost my wedding ring for a moment the DJ found it though there were a lot of interesting conversations at that wedding because people were rotating around tables and you know some things I wish I never

heard others were pretty funny I hope I wasn't too incredibly in your face and annoying taking pictures of everyone the whole time Julian you were like a ghost not for me. I kept staring down the lens. Yeah, you were driving me fucking crazy,

Ted. I'm gonna fucking kill you. My sister's a photographer, so I knew it would drive you insane. Every single time I saw you, I would just stare directly at the lens. No, and you got other people to do it, too, is what pissed me off. I kept telling everyone at the wedding, ignore me. Please ignore me. The photos don't look good if you know I'm here. here so like if you notice me pretend you didn't and so 10

while i'm doing the all that is like no he really loves it whenever you look directly i i think i said to at least three people he hates candid photos make sure you're staring at him to be fair the pictures you took are amazing i appreciate it who's worse 10 or my family because my family would literally constantly look at you that is i mean i don't know billy if you if you had a chance to look at the photos but yeah it's like there's precious few of them and it's because they not stop fucking staring right at the camera and doing silly face they were doing they're giving me stink eye. I don't know what was going on there.

No, they were not giving you stink eye. I got stink eye a couple times, but I think it was just because I was like... I think it's more they were confused. Okay, that makes sense. I don't think they hate you or anything. No, I don't think so either. I got a distinct feeling that

not everyone was on the same page as to what I was trying to accomplish. I remember Billy's mom in perfect English saying, that fucking noodle guy. Yeah, she literally said what I was trying to accomplish. I remember Billy's mom in perfect English saying, that fucking noodle guy. Yeah, she literally said, I'm unsubscribing. No! No!

No, sorry. She didn't say it like that. She said, I'm unsubscribing. Oh. She asked me, what is big pizza? What is big penny? Oh. Big penny? Oh, yeah. Well, because I was talking to Billy's mom

later in the night. Oh, you mean the Batman Big Penny? Yeah. You didn't see it, but when I put my tire on my head when I was really fucking drunk, I walked over to the French table and spoken perfect French and told him to check it out. My mom was just happy to meet everybody.

That's why I had to walk around with... I had to parade you guys a bit to my mom. Except happy to meet everybody that's why like i had to walk around with i had to parade you guys a bit to my mom except 10 i missed i i i'm sorry i didn't meet you mrs billy even though 10 is the only one that learned french to talk to my i learned introduction in french i also learned some french to compliment your mom did you talk to my mom then she told me later that if she could speak english well that she would be chatting my ear off. That's nice. That sounds like my mom. Yeah, no, my mom was so happy because she was like, ah, these are the stupid fuckheads you do your fucking comedy.

That is not the language she used. She did call it a gay little podcast, though. I'm going to be honest. My mom would not be scared to say that, but in French, but like lovingly. But that's not the impression I got, because as soon as the word fuck was uttered in any of the songs while we were dancing you you went out of your way to tell everyone how your entire family collectively was like oh no okay not when fuck was uttered when the n word was uttered because somebody quite decided to go and ask the DJ to play Not Like Us by fucking Kendrick Lamar. It was funny as shit.

Quite requested it. Yeah, he dropped a Drake song like right after it. I was sitting at my table and Jello's looking at me and Quite's looking at me. He's like, don't tell anybody. I knew already because he came up to me while I was ordering a drink and he said, I don't know why I didn't do that. I'm not playing like I is. And I was like, what?

Okay, I don't care. Do what you want, man. And then during Not Like Us, Billy's older sister comes up to me and goes, is this song popular in your country? You won't know the words. And then I had to ask, Billy, is this not popular here? No, she actually came up to me and she was like,

she they're normies and i'm wokey such a normie she also loves drake he's canadian i was so close to requesting hamster dance from the dj that one's sick i felt like that would be a bridge too far i wish you did it felt like a bridge too far. I didn't want to do that. No, hamster dance is fucking awesome. It is. I'll agree with you on that. For me, it was even worse, 10. It was a fan animation of Harry Potter Puppet Pals that got it in my head. Oh, my God.

The Chicken Nugget videos aren't called Cotton Eye Joe Fucked Up. They're called Giga Giga Giga Giga Giga Giga. They call them by how they say it. So it's like Giga Giga Giga Giga Giga because it's how the Chicken Nugget sings it. And I got so fucking mad the other day when somebody asked me, Hey, Brendan, have you seen the videos yet what the fuck are you talking about that would fucking murder me i think it's like the he-man

video that's just called hey uh hey uh hey uh hey brendan have you seen that meme the one that goes now now now now now now now now now yeah julian have you seen that meme where it's um adam sandler with a gun but instead of adam sandler having the gun it's going to be me oh interesting it's called julian dead on impact on impact impact of what bullet don't worry dead on impact okay we have fun here on that on that wedding day too uh that was the day i almost got abducted oh yeah that's right that's still a mystery to me yeah i don't know about this what oh i didn't tell you i mean to be fair like i'm gonna be honest like that wedding day i get i came into the venue and i was literally pissing my fucking pants like i was so horrified of just even being there can attest oh dude yeah you oh you saw me

yeah because you saw me like before everybody got into the venue i was literally pissing my pants yeah no you looked like you boo and i had a conversation on the way back from the cathedral we were just taught not the cathedral what the fuck the gazebo yes oh because yeah we got we took pictures you left a little early so boo and i walked back and we had a little talk about like do you think billy's gonna do you think billy's gonna be okay i looked at boo and i was like he's probably fine it took me until like my friend of years and years and years. Ferds came up and did his speech about us. Yeah.

To relax. Because when he did that speech and it was, dude, I'm not going to, I don't know about you guys, but that was one of the most heartfelt, nicest fucking speeches I've ever heard in my fucking life. So then you said, there's no way he wrote that. It was so. Yeah. You immediately followed it up with like, who goes through that for you?

There's no way he wrote that. No. Yeah. As a joke, as a joke. Don't make me sound like the sad guy. It was the most earnest thing I've ever heard him say to me. Because I'm like, I mean, I sound different right now. I'm at a fishing lodge. He's, I can literally see him right now fishing on the lake. Grill him about this right now.

He's on the lake. Guest interview. He's, you want me to go out and lake. Grill him about this right now. He's on the lake. Guest interview. You want me to go out and just... Okay, give me a sec. Give me a sec. He's actually going to get him. This was a bit. I was not expecting to do anything.

I'm not doing that. He's way too far. He wouldn't hear me. It was actually one of the nicest fucking things anybody has ever said about me and boo. So it caught me really off guard because dude, French Canadians, they don't really talk about their emotions at all. So that's why it got me so hard.

And that's the moment where I was like, oh, okay, I can, if he's willing to put his whole whole ass in front of my family just like be completely earnest i can do that too and i can be chill and that's when i it's a wedding dude yeah but man yeah how about you fucking get a wedding huh how about you get into a fucking wedding with all the close the closest fucking people in your life and you just be earnest as fuck and start saying nice things

that are like, dude, it's hard. It's kind of hard. I just don't feel like it's hard, but it was probably like the most perfect wedding ever. Everything went according to plan, but how did you get a duct? It's an amazing segue back into it. Yeah. Wow.

The first day we got to the holiday inn and i wanted to walk to the closest gas station to get some energy drinks um and it's in like this industrial park right because you stayed you stayed near us you were like we're kind of next to an industrial park there's a lot of those pretty much just a bunch of big buildings and a lot of like specifically like a just a bunch of like uh factories and shit of big buildings and a lot of like gray areas. It was specifically like just a bunch of like factories and shit. Factories, big buildings, and like hazy smoke. I felt like I was home in Sioux City. I was like, this shit's like Iowa right now.

See, all I'm saying is I think about my guests. I knew you would be comfortable here. Yeah, you put me in the Iowa fucking biome. Thanks. The Iowa biome. Yeah, you put me in the Iowa biome where I belong. I walked to the gas station. Oh, God.

What is the gas station name called? Kushtal. Yeah. I was going to say something else. I was going to say it wrong in a bad way. I think Kushtal is called Circle K in the rest of Canada. Oh, okay. I think so.

In the US. Yeah. I walked there. Oh, wait. You guys have Circle K? We have Circle K. Yeah, we have Circle Ks. I think it actually is the same thing. They did because they had the Mountain Dew Purple Thunder there, which guys have Circle K? Yeah, we have Circle K's. I think it actually is the same thing.

They did because they had the Mountain Dew Purple Thunder there, which is a Circle K exclusive. Of course you would fucking know. That's really funny that you would say that. You fuck. We found Mountain Dew Black at that one store. I did actually find Pitch Black at that one store next to the Jokers, but we'll talk about the Jokers later.

Oh, fuck. What does he mean by the Jokers? Oh, the Jokers. Oh my God. We'll talk about the Jokers. I want to get through this fucking story, fuck. What does he mean by the joke? Oh, the jokers. Oh, my God. We'll talk about the jokers. I want to get through this fucking story, though. It's just simple and easy. I basically walked to the gas station.

I'm walking back to the hotel. I'm chilling. I'm just having my fucking Spongebob animation walk cycle. Like fucking... And a black car pulls up to me. And a dude jumps out, points at me, and says, Hey! And I just keep fucking walking. What the and then he yells hey again and i just keep fucking going i don't know what was happening he got in his car and he drove away but i was genuinely afraid he

was gonna like run up and like grab me even though he's half my size i was like i was like what it was a very odd encounter i get back to the hotel and i'm like shelby i almost got fucking stolen i don't know what happened wait wait wait what where was that was that at the intersection it was it was uh by the holiday inn near one of like the factories while i was walking past this parking lot it was on the street this lone black car pulled up he got guy got out pointed at me yelled hey twice and then i walked away he didn't even like continue it he just he just literally yelled hey twice and then like drove away while i walked away i did not even turn my head i was just like no no no i'm gonna keep going that's so fucking weird dude what yeah what the fuck that's how i knew that my trip to

montreal would be definitely exciting my favorite thing that people have told me about montreal is that it's very lively in a way that is not dangerous. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. I felt like Portland. If New York was Portland. I love how fucking stupid I felt in the entirety of the trip where it's like, out of there, y'all speak English? Yeah.

I mean, most of the places you walk in, they say bonjour, hi, and they're like, okay, English. Just say bonjour, bonso and they're like okay english just say bonjour bonsoir i had i was expecting i might get one or two like quebec away moments but bonjour bonsoir my favorite my favorite things that people have told me was well my second favorite was like i didn't expect french canada to be french and i was like what it was like a lot of a lot of family members came i said that i can't believe how

French it is. I didn't think it would be so French. I said that too. I was like it is so French here. I had no idea. The signs are in French. It's French canon. Of course it's French. I expect that from Quebec but I didn't think that Montreal was going to be so close brother.

Montreal. I mean they're both in like the first language is French. I didn't know that. My experience with Canada and French Canada all comes from Billy and Letterkenny, so I thought everybody would be wearing blue plaid everywhere. I was like, where's the blue plaid at? So I thought everybody would be woke. I thought everybody would be a stereotypical French Canadian, yeah.

I had a lot of eye-opening experiences being there. One of my favorites was whenever I first arrived, be a stereotypical french canadian yeah i had a lot of eye-opening experiences being there one of my favorites was whenever i first arrived um i had to you know use the public transit system to get to the airbnb yeah and um like i arrive in the airport and like it's a culture shock because it's the first time i've been to a place wherever english is not the primary language uh and i'm it's it's strange to be an environment where it's like, oh, this is not for my language promo dominantly, which, you know,

pissed me the F off. But like, yeah. So like, then I go, I go to the transit system and it's like, oh, English isn't even here.

Oh, it's all French. That's not true. No, in, in the, I'm telling you, Billy,

I go to the, the, the, the train station I was at, no English. I walk up to the sign and I just have to figure it out. And what's funny is that it was

intuitive enough that within about a minute, I was able to figure out where I was headed, where I was, and it was fine. There was enough context clues. It was very clearly designed, which reminded me of New York because in New York, I went to the signs and it was only in English

and I still couldn't fucking figure it out for the life of me. What's the French word for exit? Sortie. Where's the sorting room? I got confused in the airport the very first day.

I saw a bunch of exit signs that said sortie and I saw sortie exit and I was like, okay, do we go to the sortie exit or do we go to the exit? Yeah, I went to sortie and I was like, sortie's like a melody? What does that mean? I was rubbing my temples the entire time hearing these American foreign country stories.

Yeah, I did pretty good. I wish I paid more attention in high school in French class because I didn't learn shit. You just say bonjour, bonsosoir and they respond in english i i i said salut to a tsa agent and they started talking to me in french and i went oh fuck uh english please if you just make an attempt to go i do not expect you to speak english it's fine no people are super they're super understanding about that stuff they don't give a fuck there was only one time wherever i wasn't immediately clocked as a foreigner and i had to just be like i english only sorry and then they spoke perfect english and it was fine julian came up to me at one point it was like how do i tell people i don't speak english and i was like just no just yeah i know that was my favorite tourist was like i'm a fucking tourist american civil play it's like it's like what that lady was talking to uh our friend mickey

because he was like tapping his feet oh yeah yeah and she turned around and started talking to him in french and then looked at him went oh no tepi tap i had a really sexy star wars it was a sexy star wars but he just stared at her and she went oh no tippy tappy very briefly before sexy star wars I just wanted to self report by saying I had a really hard time mentally because I live in Texas right so a lot of people don't like it's not uncommon

to be people who don't speak English very well which is fine but I tend to default to that because I've grew up around it is like oh I know a few Mexican words so so I can get the very basics. You did not. I didn't.

But I got very close a couple times. I was very close to being like, I was very close to saying like, oh, lo siento. It was really bad. I mean, you know, Spanish is a little closer to french they're romance languages they're very very close actually there's a lot of like they're like usually if you speak spanish it's so close that you can make out words and as a french can you'll do okay yeah it's not quite

like italian and spanish where they're like really close but it's like there's a big dialect dialect difference so like mexican spanish is nowhere near the same thing as like spain spanish castilian and so like and especially like tex-mex is like its own kind of breed as well so like there's not a lot of crossover that helps me out tex-mex was a thing no it's like spanglish spanglish is just a thing. No, it's like Spanglish is just a, it's just like, it's just slang. People tend to just like mix and match. Mexican Spanish is also extremely fucking fast. My mom is very, very fluent

in Spanglish. So like if I'm, if she's speaking to my grandma, she'll just like say a sentence and half of it I understand and then she just switches gears halfway through. Kayate puta. Whoa! Hey grandma! Orale way, kayate way. sentence and half of it i understand and then she just switches gears halfway through anyway so sexy star wars sexy star so i like calling it our boo and i's bachelor party because jesus i mean it was so horny yeah there was that one dude in the audience who kept chanting for salacious bee crumb. It was me.

So what we did was first day, everybody got into their Airbnb in Montreal and I came by. Shane Foxgate told me like a few months ago that it would be really fun to go to this burlesque show called The Empire Strips Back. So stupid. You have no idea how stupid. Yeah, I was one of the very few people who did not go. I thought it was one of the fucking funniest things ever back then and then on the day of we had 16 people i bought 16 fucking tickets and i like when we got there at the venue i said we were a group of 16 and they i saw him get like sweat dripping from his fucking forehead. Just grab his fucking collar and just like,

we got a group of 16. You, you, no, no, no. You, you walked away.

So you didn't hear it. The fucking guy on the other walkie talkie went 16. Yeah. Try to figure out how to get all of us like in the same spot. There was not enough space. There was not enough space. We took up like two whole rows. We took two whole rows and

yeah we sat down it was this beautiful fucking it's so weird because it happened at this gorgeous historical theater and it was just this sexy star wars show and uh it was fucking awesome man i saw r2d2 like they had actual props of r2 like the props were really fucked like frustratingly good by the way yeah it was like a motorized robot of r2d2 came up to princess leia doing a lap dance with her ass cheeks out and just spraying fucking dollar bills on her. This is true. That actually happened. It was amazing. Wait, didn't Jabba the Hutt say the N-word or something? Jabba the Hutt did say the N-word.

Jabba the Hutt said the N-word because Jabba the Hutt was singing a fucking Biggie Smalls song. Also, they had a humongous, really high quality Jabba the Hutt puppet for it. It was like prequel fucking quality job of the hut puppet for it it was um it was like prequel fucking quality like prequel puppet it was fucking amazing weird weirdly fucking well done i heard that the performances like the dances themselves were like you know obviously i mean it's sexy like yeah you know it is what it is but like they they sound everyone who came away was like no like

you know no it was very impressive performance yeah it was there was this one it was pretty like you know burlesque sexy like strip teasing stuff yeah but there was one in particular that was very artsy with the two ahsoka bitches what the fuck are they called twillix with the 10 yeah the ones with like they got the they got the things on their head yeah they got they got they thing on the twillix with the 10 yeah the ones with like they got the they got the things on their head yeah they got they got they thing on twillix yeah the twillix that's what they are there was like a twin dance between two of them and it was like a really beautiful like lesbian like burlesque thing and it was like oh shit like it was artsy i didn't see any titties though so i i actually know they they showed ass they they showed ass cheek it's that it seems

pretty uh classy it wasn't exclusively with uh women uh i was told as well there were some like very hot there was like one guy han solo dude han solo was hot as fuck he was all i'm saying he actually was he was a hot fucking piece when he fuck i saw his butt cheeks Not to be horny on a podcast, but goddamn, he butt cheek good. Okay. But yeah, no, I want like after the Ahsoka twins just dancing and being lesbians, I turned to fucking quiet and I was just going to whisper in his ear, but I had a lot to drink and I just went, are they best friends? And everybody heard me and everybody laughed at me and i was like oh because he said it as soon as the music stopped i didn't know when the song would end i was just gonna make a joke and everybody was like i mean everyone everybody was there except those fucking

freaks two rows behind us you brought joy joy to the experience. Yeah, the only thing that was really weird was, like, at the beginning of the show, they say, like, please respect the women who are, you know, dancing sexily for you. And there was this guy who was so wasted, he looked like a frat boy, because of course he did. And the entire time, he was like, I want to be your clothes.

Let me be your clothes. Please wear me. Oh, right. How did it sound in French? Je veux être tes vêtements. Je veux t'abrasser. Laisse-moi t'abrasser. Mote-moi tes tétons.

And then he kept making really bad Chewbacca sounds. There was also a Tauntaun. He was a sexy little Tauntaun. It was fun. We saw Palpatine's asshole. He goatee-dosed. That's not a joke. That's not a joke. That's real. Wasn't there a bit where someone had comedically large hung balls?

That was Palpatine. They were in a full bodysuit and they had a fake dick and fake balls. They played Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus and he swung around on a disco ball death star it was pretty awesome it was it was honestly awesome but uh that butthole was not awesome it was fake it was like a rubber full body suit okay yeah no it was fully fake i'm neither of you

know that no one here knows that for sure. Honestly, the lowest quality prop they had was the fake Palpatine full body suit. Maybe it had to be so that they could move around without dying. And also so they could have him swinging his penis and balls around and people wouldn't be, that's his penis and balls. Do you remember the first thing that they

said was, please do not take pictures. Yeah, they were like don't take any pictures. Don't like absolutely no photos, no video, no Disney cannot know Disney has to know already like yeah, this only survives

through make it as loud right. They were very very fucking protective and they made sure that nobody was on their fucking phone because they really fuck I mean shit it's kind of yeah I mean if Disney cared enough they could probably obliterate these people with their own fucking real death

star but you know really they've been they did a fucking European turn like thing like they've been they've been touring around the world just being sexy Star Wars I think they also just didn't want you taking pictures out of respect of the people I mean yeah also because they're to be fair they were good titties i like if i had titties i wish they were like that i would give that uh i would give those boobs a nine out of ten i'd give

a 10 out of 10 to those ball sacks brother the star wars burlesque show was really fun it was a highlight of my trip i'm glad you had fun what else happened during our fun little trip that's like worth mentioning? There's a lot of isolated incidents, I think. How about you guys talk about Squirrel Man? Ah, Squirrel Man, Mandy! There's a lead up to Squirrel Man. I guess I'll say my first experience in Montreal was getting an Uber driver who looks like...

Oh my God, that shit was... I couldn't believe it. I could not fucking believe it. Jello had the best Uber driver story, though. He did? My arrival was, I got the man who cleans up Woody in Toy Story 2. What? Yeah.

He's just this cute little old man with a big white mustache. He went, so you know, I said, bonsoir. And he went, bonsoir, and started talking French. I went, oh, no francais. And he went, oh, English. Yeah, so he's loading my bags and i said merci he looks he goes english like whenever if ever whenever i said anything in french he would then say english whenever i said it but he was fun yeah the thing is he is ripping out the airport

and for reference it's maybe close to midnight but downtown montreal's fucking popping there was not one uber driver we had who drove like a human being. They all drove like it was their last day on earth. It was horrifying. Taxi and Uber drivers. I'm going to be honest. French Canada, we don't know how to fucking drive. It was miserable.

They're quick, though. Oh, they're too quick, dude. I caught air in the backseat more than once. A hundred percent. French Canadians don't know how to fucking drive. If there's any fucking stereotype that is a hundred fucking percent true, it's French Canadians don't know how to fucking drive. Like if there's any fucking stereotype that is 100% true, it's French Canadians can't fucking drive because we're fucking psychopaths. And mine will drive so fast.

I would genuinely rather be in an Uber in New York again than catch another one in fucking Montreal. I don't agree because then I would be in New York. Okay, you know what, Billy? I agree with you actually. Dude, I fucking loved my Uber who was going like 100 miles an hour and talking to me about Clearwater, Florida. Mandy, how bad at driving was your Uber?

Well, downtown Montreal was hopping, so it got a bit bumper to bumper. I looked to my left and there's this group of dudes in their car and they're blaring Eurodance. That's fucking wrong. Dude in the passenger seat then hands a large bottle of vodka to the driver and he starts chugging it. I went, wow. I've never seen that in my life. seat then hands a large bottle of vodka to the driver and he starts chugging it i went wow i've never seen that in my life it was just like the cat deja vu in the matrix because we drive a little

bit we get to their stoplight i look over and now it's four teenage girls the girl in the passenger seat picks up a big bottle of vodka takes a swig hands it to the driver who looks like she's 16 and she starts chugging oh everyone in montreal is a drunk driver no no no she might be 18. god's drunkest drivers because 18 18 is the age of drinking and driving apparently the age of drinking drive drinking not excusing the drinking and driving the driver had braces it looked like they were going to prom oh no they probably were oh it was fucking prom night it was it was it was dude we were in june that's when fucking proms happened yeah well i saw like the pink the dress it was like it looks like prom but usually ours would be earlier

anyways so we get to the third stoplight and my driver really really did not want to miss that he did not want to stay for that light. So he fucking floored it. Realized he wouldn't make it last second as a pedestrian was crossing the street. Slams the brakes. And the dude didn't roll over his hood. But he hit him enough to where he kind of flopped onto the hood. It wasn't good. Mandy, you attract insane driver stories.

It's like street stories every time you go anywhere. Is it Mandy? Every time you go anywhere. Is it Mandy or is it us? No, it's Brendan too. Yeah, I also had. Okay. Anyways, guy who got hit. He just fucking stands up and he goes, he starts shouting my driver yelling in French. I can't.

I recognize some of the words he's saying and it's not good. Tabarnak. I recognize a few words and my driver just goes, he waved his hand. He goes, and he keeps going. What a psycho! The thing is, he got to the hotel 15 minutes faster than the map said he would, so I tipped him 30% because he cared about me being on time.

Okay, man. He hit a guy! You ran a dude over! Well, it's the fact that he was shouting at him and he just went, and waved his hand, like, whatever. Ah. He got up.

Have a beautiful night. Merci beaucoup. English? Did he actually go English at the end? Incredible. He was fucking with you. Of course he was. That's so funny.

We talked a little in English, but whenever I said anything in French, he would just go, English? I'm turning, dude. I'm fucking turning into a fucking lover of this guy. What a guy. What a funny little dude. And no, it wasn't just me,

because when Brendan and I got walking, when we had our big walkie day in Quebec. So like that day, that day was so fucking cursed. The beginning of that day and the end cap of that day, I also had an Uber incident. we're driving to mandy's hotel and a man stops our car our uber and pulls like pulls over to the side window and he says five dollars five five five five dollars and he's like fucking pointing at me and i go on my phone i'm just like fuck your phone five dollars sound like a star wars creature sounds like sketch he walks

away later that night leaving like the end of like the experienced day i'm telling an uber driver the uber driver about this story because like we had a friendly uber driver while shelby and i're going back to the hotel and uh literally while i'm telling him this story a man stops the uber and he's fucking he is juggling neon bowling pins and he stops. He has a cat on his shoulder and he runs over to our Uber, like taps on the window. And he's like, hey, maybe you'll get like $5, $5. Uber's like, no, no, man. No, we drive away.

Uber driver's like, that was fucking insane, man. You ever hear about Clearwater, Florida? That was fucking crazy, dude. Let me tell you about clear water florida that and the cap to that that uber driver all he wanted to do was talk about clear water florida dude the thing is that that's not that crazy because florida is like the french canadian destination apart from new jersey wildwood he also talked about new jersey holy shit yes because yeah no, that's an actual thing. Like if you go, this is making more sense now.

I'm sure we have listeners in New Jersey. If you're from New Jersey and you know about Wildwood, you know that Wildwood has a shit ton of fucking French signage because there are so many fucking French Canadians. Like you go to a restaurant there, you ask for a French menu. They will have a French menu. It's fucking insane. Interesting. It's the destination when i was a kid regardless that was like the beginning of the end cap of that day we went to a little restaurant that had a fortnight dancing chef and i think about him a lot oh god i forgot about that i have that on my phone i forgot about you have you have

the fortnight dancing chef on your phone it was such a good chicken sandwich yeah i could i could post that it was a good chicken sandwich and there was a fortnight dancing chef and then we got the fucking message hey who wants to meet up at fucking hooters in montreal yeah i didn't that was not oh no okay whoa whoa whoa whoa you know who said hooters for the first time it was fucking super rad okay super rad was the one who said let's go to hooters rad said let's go to hooters said let's go to hooters in montreal and like mandy and i were walking found out later we're like we're like who was patient zero for this so like why are we we're passing all these wonderful bars and pubs right places these historic developments historic beautiful incredible place where the everywhere

you look everywhere you look incredible to hooters like for people who know montreal we were on crescent street the literal only hooters in fucking montreal 300 miles to the next hooters they're literally in front of there there's a gorgeous fucking pub with amazing food and that goes for the entire fucking street crescent is like the street and bar place of course it was apart from saint denis but you know like we are in the fucking perfect place to get beautiful food and beautiful fucking unbelievably nice place and we just fucking went the thing is we started coping we went oh maybe they just want to meet up at hooters i was like i was like

pick out a bar that has actual good food. That's rough because that is absolutely not what fucking happened. No, it wasn't. We ate there. No, that's why we, I got a Red Bull

and then I drank my Red Bull. I saw the cursed bathroom and then we were like, y'all can stay at Hooters. Oh my God, this afternoon was awful. Okay, for the listener experience, in the basement of this Hooters,

there is a bathroom with Cuban sinks, no lights. There is one flashing purple light. And when I say flashing purple light, I want you to fucking understand. It is like, you know those military flashlights that you turn on to desensitize people to make them fucking freak out? It is literally a purple light that is in front of the urinals that is blaring and blasting. I was pissing and I felt like I was doing a human QTE while I was pissing to not fucking spread piss. Yep, I got a visual aid

for that one too. Yeah, watch the video Mandy posted. I am not exaggerating. It was genuinely horrifying. The thing is, the camera couldn't actually capture how fast that light was flashing Yeah, because it was so fucking fast. It was faster than the shutter speed of the camera. It's also worth noting you had to go into a basement before using that bathroom like you would, you went down this flight of

stairs and then entered this room That's pretty normal for a city like Montreal. A lot of the times the toilet will be in the basement. Billy, I need t-shirts that say I found myself in the Montreal Hooters' cursed basement. I need tourist t-shirts. I took a piss.

I went, this is weird. Then the sink was a perfect cube and the faucets were cubes too. And I said, this fucking sucks. I want to leave the Hooters. And we did. Yeah, you left and we were still there. We stayed there.

Okay, we ordered food. Didn't you wait like 40 minutes for the food? Dude, we waited 40 minutes for the food and one of my homeboys did not get his food. Awesome. And then we asked like, hey, I'm so sorry. What's happening with the food? And then she was like, hey, I'm so sorry. What's happening with the food? And then she was like, oh, they forgot.

One of the people that stayed there told me later that they tried to order the fish, like the fish and chips, and the waitress told them don't do that. What? Don't order it. It's going to be shit. Wow. Which is true. That's cool of her.

Listen, Hooters sucks, man. We passed three art museums on the way there. gonna be shit yeah wow which is no true that's cool listen hooter sucks man that's not good we passed three art museums on the way there i know i just remember that the party who said we should go to hooters were also the first to leave immediately they were yeah oh i fucking hate you know what i hate them now they dude you know why the fuck was happening they went to eat somewhere else i think they went to eat at us at one of the highest rated sushi places in Montreal. Oh, my God. Yeah. I know.

I genuinely have no idea why y'all stayed. Like, I have no idea. We should have fucked off when we got our drinks because, honestly, that Guinness was so watery. They watered down the Guinness? Dude, yes. You guys know how when you get a Guinness from tap, there's this gorgeous fucking thick, creaming head. Not at Hooters.

It was wet. It was wet. Oh, God, it was so disappointing. Do you guys remember my Uber story? What's your Uber story? One night, myself and I was court. Yeah, we get an Uber and it's this big, ugly van, right? And bad start already because the speed limit is, I think, 35, 40 kilometers per hour.

And I see on their heads up display, they're doing like 65 at least. Oh, criminal. Yay! I'm in the back by the way every time they would you know floor it through a yellow light on an intersection um the hump of the intersection uh would launch the back of the car into the air and i would like my ass would leave the seat for a moment oh my god really really calm and collected experience but the cherry on top and the highlight of the experience was whenever uh the only time that they slowed down during that trip uh was whenever they saw a couple women uh walking down

the street in high heels and shit and like went out of their way hit the brakes pretty hard honked the horn like and held that shit down like what the fuck just long enough for me to turn my head and look at the women who were telling him to fuck off before he sped back up again and uh so it wasn't like a peppy lapu thing he wasn't even cat calling he just held on the horn no it was definitely cat calling uh no no no i mean like he didn't say anything he just held on the horn and stared at them basically yes oh that's yeah that feels weirder it almost feels way weird yeah the part the part that gets me is that he wasn't just misogynistic enough to think that was okay, but to

think that was okay to do while ferrying other people on the clock. That's so normal to him that like doing it on the clock is like not even an eyebrow raising behavior. Oh God, that's so I don't even know. I think he looked at us and was like

these guys will get it. The question is, would you rather have him again or Billy's scam driver? I don't even know. I think he looked at us and was like, oh, these guys will get it. The question is, would you rather have him again or Billy's scam driver? I don't know. That's been a thing in a few cities, though. The scamming. You had an incident with us, too, where the guy was also really awkward.

You had two scam incidents in Uber. No, the second one was fine. It was just fucking weird. The thing is, taxis will have their uber thing they'll accept your uber whatever when you sit down they look at your fare and they say like oh thirty dollars you know if you just send me the payment through my bank account instead and do an e-transfer oh yeah i actually get the full amount instead and hell i'll fucking drop it by five dollars and they basically like have you handcuffed because if you cancel before they cancel your uber

fare you have to pay them no matter what so you're kind of fucked and you they got you hostage where you have to they like you have to be like yeah sure i'll do it and then cancel it's so fucking it's we had a good ending one of those somebody fell for that i can't remember who told me somebody fell for that it was quite but i thought i thought it was like no i i know he seemed chill with it at the time yeah no it's not normal it it's a it's a kind of scam but the thing is it only there was only one time where it was really like the dude was really sketchy he took somebody who was with us his airport luggage and put it in the back and he was really weird about letting us get it back oh i i kind of played his game and we were very

much hostages because he did not let us take our luggage back from his car after we got in and he was like actually actually fuck Uber. I want to, yeah, no, it was weird. He, he made us use his,

like his taxi fare. I had to tell boo to get to the back and take a picture of his license plate because it was really sketchy. The guy was not, not really nice to us. He also called me like a scammer at one point because I was telling, yeah, I was telling yeah i was telling

him like hey i listen it's a 30 uber right i'm not gonna pay you 40 i'm not gonna pay you 50 i'm not gonna send you money through my bank account i want to do the uber fare and he was like keeping us in the back and everything i was like oh okay wow yeah no he he was actually keeping us hostage we had a really interesting interesting one where whenever we were being picked up to go somewhere, the Uber driver parked, flipped the hazards on and as we were loading up our luggage, just walked away.

We all huddled into the car and no driver. We're just looking at each other for a bit and we're like, where did he go? We peek our heads out, look through the back. He's not behind the car. The luggage is in. We look no he's no one's there yeah minutes go by before he runs back hops in is like sorry i had to piss sorry and then we go fair enough oh that's that's real that's just real shit i just wish he would have told us

before he went away that's all apparently in a lot of major cities, it's been happening a lot lately where just taxi drivers will steal fare from Uber, but they'll keep you hostage until you accept their fare. It's a big problem. Interesting. I went on Reddit. And that's when I saw that a lot of people had issues with people keeping them hostage in the back of their car.

Cool. I didn't get hostages. I just got the... You just got a dude that just runs over pedestrians. Yeah, well, later I got one who... Same, same. When I was going to your place, he pointed out the fences along the bridge and explained to me how people kept killing themselves there and why they had to put that oh yeah that's real by the by the way mandy fuck you

for scaring cameron and i for a moment and just thinking that there was a fucking drake gang that was right right i forgot about that that was the day for context julian had this insane plan where he was like i'm gonna go visit my friends in toronto just i'll just quickly bounce there and back it's it's i'm sorry but it's a province away dog it would have been hours and hours by train we don't need to get into this well i was like how do we discourage julian so i went i know did you hear i was like julian are you okay did you hear and people start messaging like are you okay like yeah i hear? People start messaging me like, are you okay? Yeah, I said there are Drake fans attacking Americans on the trains here.

Drizzy got shooters. We were all at the Hooters and we said to fuck with you. Such an asshole. Yeah, so I was like, be careful, you know, because the boy has people out here. He might be after you. It's okay. We got you back. Yeah. Wait, you got him back? Shall we?

Oh, Billy doesn't know. Oh, Billy. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. This is going to be fun. Okay. So...

Was it at the Airbnb you guys did something? So, Billy, do you remember the voice-activated light bulb? Oh, I fucking love the red, purple, green. It wasn't voice-activated. That was Justin on his phone. Wait, you didn what the fuck it was Billy boo He's so angry. I have a five minute long video of Billy Boo. Everyone just screaming colors. Mandy just like screaming colors at a light bulb.

And then like at minute three panning down to Justin on his phone, picking colors on a color. This is sick. Red. Blue. Red. Red. Rainbow.

Yo. White. No. Stroke. Stroke. Red. Rainbow. YOOOOOO It's white. YOOOOOO Strobe! Strobe! I don't think it knows strobe. Wait, it's trying. It's trying strobe. Oh! Oh! It's strobing!

Oh my god, this is fucking awesome. No fucking way! Yo! Red. Yellow. Gold. Red! Blue! Blue!

Blue! Blue! Red! Red! Red! Blue! Yellow! Red!

Where is the limit? Red! Red! Green! Red! Green! Green! Brown!

Green! Brown! Green! Green! Green! Green! Green! Purple!

Green! Green! Guys, you're scaring- guys, you're scaring it! This thing is fucking- You're scaring it! I'm stressed out! We're stressing out the ladder! Guys, you're scaring it. You're scaring it. We're stressing out the lamp.

Okay, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, is it that crazy? Yes. It's that crazy. No, it's not that crazy. But he sold the story well because I'm like, oh my God, it's Justin Funk.

And he went, yeah, I spent $40 this lamp. I think I'm wasting my money, but that's a really fun trick. Yeah. He was disappointed in it too. So it's like, he sold it so well. Like, 40 bucks expensive.

Like, yeah, but you can yellow color and it changes to it. He also sold it because he would, like, push it to the limit to demonstrate. Like, he would say, like, rainbow. And then he'd just start frantically tapping different colors. Yeah, no, I learned it. He's just, like, frantically, like, mashing different parts of the color wheel. Oh, my God. I didn't even

know it was a gag and he was trying to get people to fall for i thought it was just a bit he was doing because he was bored yeah no that's how it started i actually thought it was real i was listen i was drunk and i genuinely believe that the light bulb was listening to my fucking colors i'm so This is fucking me. He was getting people with that shit all night. If we censor Mandy's face, can we put that video out? It's so fucking funny. Billy, we can use the audio

from it. I'll send you that video later. It's so fucking funny. I'm so sad. It's just us going red, green, green, red, red, magenta, magenta, cyan. You just need a little bit of it to give the idea. Dude, you know what reminds me of red, green, green, red, red, magenta, magenta, cyan. You just need a little bit of it to give the idea. Dude, you know what reminds me of red, green, black, and white? Yeah.

Society brew. Oh, society brew. Hold on. I got to finish this story first, though. To be fair, I was patient zero of this. It started as a bit that Justin was doing, and I just ate it up wholesale. Yeah. And everyone else in the room except for me knew what he was doing and um i just ate it up wholesale yeah um and everyone else in the room except for me knew what he was doing and they never told me it was a bit until like two days

later when i got into an argument with someone and was just like really confident uh and so like stood up and with my whole fucking chest out just pointed at them and was like why and then nothing happened right and so i'm like what? Justin is the light off. And then Justin looks at me and is like, oh, yeah, hold on. And he pulls out his phone and launches the app and turns it on. And gives me a look. What an asshole. No, it's okay. I got his ass back tenfold.

It's so funny, but damn. I've been crafting Mandy edits, and I got one with him that was so good that he looked like fucking Shinji in the chair. Straight up Shinji in the chair. He was miserable. Was it the one I know? Yes. I remember being outside.

We were just like we were smoking a cigarillo. Cigarillo. Yeah. And I just heard from inside. What killed me is that Justin was so so so into it up until the reveal he was infatuated he was asking questions he's like why would they edit he was so invested in it so whatever it happened it just like his entire world collapsed so for context everyone this this is like a three hour long experience and it doesn't like reveal itself

that it is like a gaslight until at least two hours in so like it's amazing how long people hold on to it it's an a24 slow burn buddy yeah yeah it's really rough yeah so i kind of ruined his life so we're even i got a shit real bad you want to talk about joker juice while i'm shitting yeah sure i also almost pooped my pants in montreal too i had a party at my place and during a fucking heat wave which i didn't fucking know we would have it was disgusting it was about like 35 36 degrees in my fucking apartment because we had about 30 30 35 people in our fucking apartment about It was about 25 people. I counted. 25. It felt like more. It was 25, but that's still a lot for the space. I'm used to doing parties at my place.

I'm not used to having that many people at my place. I didn't expect that. It was still fun. It was just so disgustingly hot. We had a Tekken tournament going on. We had people outside. We had people smoking weed. It felt like college.

It was very college vibe. It was very college like a fourth of july party it's all the heat and all the beer there's a lot of beer parties at my place are always like that when we do a hall like halloween when we do a fucking new year's it's always like that we just have a shit ton of people beer and we just hang out i we put up a big old thing of like food i just i'm such a straight mom when it comes to parties where it's like i just need to have everybody here just so we can party you know and for us it was like this uh saying goodbye party i guess like because a lot of people next day they would leave or same day because some of our friends left like before anybody showed up. I at this at this party. I had an idea

on the day of Uber hell the day of Hooters hell the day of Squirrel Wizard, which we still haven't touched on. We haven't touched on that walk yet and all the bullshit. I'm excited for it. On that day. We were at the gas station with the sewer and the sludge flavored and I'm looking through

like the energy drinks. There are four energy drinks white Joker green joker red joker and black joker and they're this they're this energy drink that is like fake not to be woke or anything but i'm pretty sure that's all the genders shut the fuck up oh shit we we got all four wokers and we we were like i was talking to mandy i was like we need to we need to do something with this we need society brew can i just say worst idea you've ever had question mark well it wasn't horrible it just tasted dental we we left we left four of them we left almost all of them accidentally at the airbnb at the at shane's airbnb and so like then uh on the day where i almost shit my pants in montreal i bought more. We were talking to Boo, and Boo came up with the idea to put Dan Aykroyd Crystal Skull Vodka in it

to make it really society brew. So Mandy brought them to the party. We put them in a big punch bowl. Here's what you don't know. Boo woke up early in the morning to get the Crystal Skull Vodka. For this fucking bit. I remember he woke me up

because he woke up early, and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he just said, it's the brew, and I went back to bed. i hate my husband he will just say shit like that like it's nothing i don't know if it's even worth mentioning i just loved how nice it was to buy weed over there it's so good it's incredible it's like an apple store for weed yeah no it's just like they tell you

everything they tell you they tell you everything that like is in it it's all very straightforward you walk up you show your id you walk in they got everything written down it is so intuitive it's insane and then and it's not even like expensive it's like like everything was really reasonably priced it was incredible i remember back to what jello was saying where he's like dude if i had if i were to try to get anything like this back in new york i'd have to go to my local fucking corner store and they'd give me the bin laden weed and i had i'd have no idea what they did he's not wrong he said he pictures of drake weed before i don't know what i saw that i really want to know what the fuck is either way joker brew yeah we we mixed all four of the jokers together with i think it was like half the fucking bottle of the Dan Aykroyd vodka.

It was a lot got poured in there. Okay, I'm going to be honest. I was tipsy. Boo put like- A little bit. You dumped half the bottle in there. I dumped half the bottle. And I'm going to be honest,

you could still not fucking taste the vodka. It tasted- This is the taste of society brew. If you've ever been to the dentist and gotten the bubble gum fluoride, that is what it tastes like. It was exactly like that. With a cherry cough syrup aftertaste. Yes.

I think almost all of it got drank by the end. I think there was only a bit left by the end. Which Boo offered like 12 hours later. Is there a society brew that's been festering? No. Anybody want to rest their society brew? The festering brew it was it was bubbling it was an actual cauldron it was carbonated of course it was fucking bubbling

their fucking witch bubble at the end i was like i went up to boo and i was like we gotta get rid of this fucking shit i don't want this at my fuck in my home that's the reason why at the end he came up to people was like you want this do you want this fucking goofy ass brew oh mandy actually i think should talk about the walk from uh uh hooters to the museum evolution fucking they just opened up one of those in cleveland and i asked you how it was yeah well the thing is we escaped the hooters when oh what's around like oh cool there's something called the museum of illusions well first we wanted to go to the art museum we were like fuck is the art museum still open because we went to hooters they were already closing in the afternoon we were going to go to these art museums they were already closed because we wasted our

time in hooters yeah that 30 minutes was enough to just torpedo our plans so okay there's i'm sorry it was rad that's the thing like i haven't talked to him much at all so i'm so confused why we're at hooters what's around museum of illusions oh cool it's probably like a history of magic museum like houdini and stuff believe it or not. Yeah, exactly. We thought it'd be more like cool adult place. So we, it's like, oh, it's like a 40 minute walk. That's fine.

We can look around the city. So our first stop was we sit down in this park. Like it was this really nice park, really quiet. Some benches. Second, we fucking sit down. And we look and there's this big statue and i see some people climbing on it i'm like oh are they like filming a tiktok or something i'm like they look kind of old for this but whatever and then you hear a this loud drumming like are they like why are they forming

a drum circle on the statue they hear vive in the palestina oh and then i hear yeah something something tyranny like i was like oh shit i recognize a few of these words the thing is so i'm like oh it's like it's like oh it's a little palestine protest okay yeah but we look over and they're on the sides we could see the counter opposition is already starting oh no oh no we realized that oh this is about to get started i knew about the people i didn't know later saw what this became he says oh yeah they're like all these cops like tents and stuff around there we were we were there when it was a fucking drum circle oh my god when we passed later in an uber there were like tons

of tents and shit set up and like a fuckload more people we sat in a quiet park and then the drum circle began we saw this it's huh we we probably don't want to get arrested in a foreign country because we don't know what the fuck is going on here just because like like i could tell what's happening but not exactly so like there was this one cop who had his car like parked across it so i don't know if like he was waiting for this to start up it's like it's like what is this it's one of those like i agree with you but i'm not in a position where i can there it's a french protest yeah i know a few words in france not enough to explain my politics and brennan and i said so you know oh shit you know we should just go so he walked

up started walking went that was a weird encounter there's a second park we pass and brennan goes oh shit these are the kind of fights i like and he points And he points. And there's two seagulls loudly fighting over a hamburger or something. Fighting over a piece of bread. I just point. I just point at him and go, yo! No, no, that's real shit.

That's real shit. The thing is, the seagulls are really getting into it. Like screaming, like clawing at each other. And then I hear a voice that sounds like... He goes... Yeah.

It sounded exactly like Hippie Joel. What? It sounded like Hippie Joel from Dr. Steve Bru brule he's like yeah get him get him good smoke his shit and there's this man with like a wizard beard laying across the entire park bench just encouraging the seagulls to fight and he's getting so into it but in front of him yeah are three squirrels yeah there are three brown squirrels just hanging out around him and as we're going across the crosswalk we look back and he's just sitting there laughing as the squirrels are running around him in a circle and mandy okay mandy i have to tell you i have to i have to tell you i was talking i realized while i was talking to Jello the other day,

I was like fucking thinking, you know, Jello had this whole bit while we were in Montreal. It was like, do you see the fucking gnome over there? Brendan fell for it every time. What was that old man wearing? A red hat and blue coats. Oh, fuck off. He was a fucking gnome.

I've been doing the gnome bit here in this fishing lodge and everybody told me that they will kill me. Brendan fell for the bit every time. Every time! Jellicam getting me with a bit that was gnome adjacent but he would just be like, holy shit. Dude, have you seen what just happened in Palestine? And I'd be like, no, what?

And he'd show me his phone and it's a really shitty drawing of JonTron. This is a really bad pencil drawing of John Tron looking at the camera with earnestness. The one thing he kept doing to me was like, we would be at a party and I'd be like, oh gosh, I really gotta go to the bathroom. And then he'd be like, oh,

you can't go into the bathroom. I just saw a gnome crawl through the fucking duct. And I'd be like, what the fuck? Shut up, man. Every time he'd look at me seriously, like, Brendan, did you fucking see that? And I'd be like, what? There's that fucking gnome back there. It's the most serious fucking look you've ever seen. Yeah.

One of these times it's actually going to happen and nobody's going to believe him. The boy who cried gnome. The boy who cried gnome. I know him so well. He wasn't getting me with that. He switched gears to Jon Tron with me because he knew that I wasn't buying into the gnome shit. I know him too well. The squirrels looked like they were straight up orbiting him squirrels running around him

fucking crazy the shit happens brennan i just look at each other and fucking sigh it's like it's not it's not good we're together things happen more often yeah you two are fucked well the thing is the museum of illusions we get there there's construction of course all this happens on the way to the museum of illusions there's like a gangplank used to get into the entrance of this thing it's like a steep board they put in front of it it looked very sketchy it had a weird cultic looking symbol above the front it looked dirty it was small we're like are we gonna get stabbed here and brendan said they might have the berenstain bear

orb in there. We have to go. And they did have orbs, but only for sale. They did have the plasma orbs. They were selling them, though. They didn't have one to test it. Oh, you could have gotten one. Silly little fuck. I know, but also I wasn't going to pay 25 Canadian for a plasma orb in a rinky-dink museum of illusion

while the guy who worked there was on the phone talking about a different job. That's not that expensive. Still, it-dink a museum evolution while the guy who worked there was on the phone talking about a different job that's not that expensive still it was not like a museum like we thought it was was basically a fun house like there's the hobbit furniture room there's the picture makes you go cross-eyed yeah it's like the science museum we have where it's like very obviously for children well yeah the thing is it looks so dingy and creepy from the outside we thought maybe there's something to this yeah there's like a hobbit room with like weird perspective furniture and stuff there's a room that just makes you feel like you feel sick the second you step into it because of patterns in the walls the thing is there were some genuinely

horrifying illusions like the endless well like the whale or the the polyhedron that goes on forever that you stare into did you say like brendan was a bit ahead of me, and Brendan would find the worst, most Lovecraftian illusions, and he was always this little fucking carny for me where he'd go, Look at this one, Mandy! Look at this one! And I'd look into it, and I'd think about stuff.

My brain is firing neurons right now. I was just like, Oh, dude, fucking untold horrors. I gotta show Mandy, dude. I hate Brendan. Whatever I go out with him, it's fucking untold horrors i gotta show mandy dude i hate brendan whatever i go out with him it's just untold horrors like no no no he go he go hey step right up like like look at this and he gestures this thing i look into it like he fucking would say yeah right up that motherfucker i'm like oh it's like a hexagon i stare into it and it's hexagons that go on forever i'm like oh my god my head come into the tunnel step into the

tunnel i'm just imagining what this looks like from a third person perspective. Just like seeing two adult men, one of them looking at the other with a dumb grin going, step right up, look into the apparatus. And then the other guy walks up and he's like, oh. You're a French Canadian woman. You're bringing your two kids. Let's say fucking four years old, six years old. You're bringing Braxton and Jackson.

You're just going to have a good time at the fucking illusion museum. Step right up. Step into the cathedral. Step into the infinite apparatus. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Mandy, Mandy, we should go into the tunnel. Mandy, there's an infinite tunnel. No, there's this one thing.

He's like, stand on this, stand on this and look up. And I looked up and there's like a swell. It's like darkness above you. He goes, now look down. And I looked up, and there's, like, this well that just, it's, like, darkness above you. It goes, now look down, and it looks like you're standing over a sewer that goes into hell. It's, like, endless blackness beneath you. They did have older people attractions, but they were more like the Instagram

rooms, like, go into the upside down room, go into the perspective hobbit room. Oh, the upside down room is so fucking sad. The upside down room needed more props. It was just chairs stapled to the ceiling. It was so sad. That's cool. That's one way that they usually get like the Instagram crowd is just like,

oh, what if you took a picture in the fucked up and crazy room? Yeah, well, they had like a color room where you could do like color filters. So they love that room. They did have the Event Horizon tunnel room. That one was fucking dizzying. That's cool as fuck, kind of. Yeah, it had this big cylinder that spun around. You would walk through.

That was probably the coolest. I think that was the coolest thing was the cylinder that spun around the stairway. It's like an hour of looking at little eye-crosser illusions. Then Brendan showed me nightmares from Beyond My Dreams. We step out. I'm starting to get a bit of a headache. I'm like a little dizzy from from all the events of today and the first thing i fucking see is this this local man walking out

of anybody's store and he had quite the shirt on i don't know how to describe it i know there's a word for it i can't remember it's a um it was it was covered with the that anime girl face oh it's a yeah that one you saw that what you pointed you just literally i had shown you untold horrors for an hour and then you said hey brendan that guy's wearing the anime shirt i look over and i'm like god fucking damn it it's a full print i hango face fucking t-shirt that was to cap off your day the thing is he didn't seem like he was wearing it for the boys. He was just out by himself, walking the streets. Ooh. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that, but even if I were, it's like...

It's different. Man, you can't say it's ironic if you're still just fucking doing it, man. I'm like three hours away from Montreal right now, staying at a pretty conservative spot. I was wearing my gay pride shirt and I didn't think about it, but I stopped at a gas station. The guy said gay pride.

It's called the it's called the new norm. It's on X. I'm so woke. How could you get this woke body? Oh, Fred, I don't know. I'm just woke now. Cigarettes. Cigarettes. Cigarettes, Bon. Smoke more cigarettes.

I think this is a sign that we should move on to questions. I was going to say, what's the next there, Brendan? Nearly shit his pants. Justify it. What? Oh, yeah. No, I had a mac and a rib bowl. We were going to a board game bar. And I was genuinely like, Billy.

It was 35 minutes of Billy telling me in two minutes we'll be there. In two minutes we'll be there. Don't shit your pants on the Metro. I am sweating. I am clenching. I am... For reference,

Brendan, you need to say exactly what you ate there. Okay, so I ate a mac and rib bowl. It was mac and cheese. It was a full bowl of mac and cheese, pork ribs, bacon, and pulled pork. And we had been drinking beers throughout that day.

We drank because it was the day we recorded the Fallout one-off, which is coming out eventually, I guess. But I remember I told you guys like, oh, let's go to this really, really nice mac and cheese burger place pub thing. And you decided to get the most violent diarrhea shit ever yeah i did listen i'm not gonna say it's on you well no no it's on you it's on me you're like oh it's like a 20 minute walk like brendan don't worry when the train stops you'll be in a bathroom in two minutes it wasn't a problem until we stopped being around businesses that i could go into shit like that's the moment that it hit here's the thing the bathrooms at the fucking terminal on the South shore were closed.

And in Montreal, they were closed at the hour we came in. So that's why I actually told you, don't waste your time. Go shit at the actual bar. Right. The problem is the false hope. Brendan had,

cause you'd be on the train. Don't worry. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Okay. What's worse?

What's worse? Giving false hope or saying the truth of you won't be shitting for 30 minutes? I would have looked him dead in the eyes and been like, you're going to shit your pants, big dog. I was literally on the train going. Brendan looked like he might not make it. He survived. He survived.

I looked like Brendan Fraser's the whale when he was on his last leg right before he floated with his flight powers. I was sweating. I was bloated. I was like. You're going to when he was on his last leg right before he floated with his flight powers. I was sweating. I was I was bloated. I was like, you're going to propel yourself up in a different way. It was literally going to be a shit spiral. Yeah, activate ass power saying is it wasn't that bad. Calm down.

I've never seen Brendan sweat that much. I when I was on the toilet, like I genuinely thought I heard the porcelain crack. I'm not going to lie to you. I may have broken the toilet like i genuinely thought i heard the porcelain crack i'm not gonna lie to you i may have broken the toilet a little bit i don't know literally fuck that shit up i swear to grod there's no fucking grod damn way grod is not helping you on this one man rock obama it'll almost be It would be an honor to kill you. I am Grodd. Time to make America Grodd again. That mac and cheese and burger place was fucking awesome. You're just being a little prude.

No, that was a great pub. No, it was a really good food. It was a really good food. With an incredibly elaborate downstairs bathroom that did not flash. Oh, you had to walk through like fucking a labyrinth of back rooms to get to the bathroom down there. Like I said, it's a thing in montreal bathrooms are in they're in the basement bathrooms are all i just realized all the bathrooms are on the basement and half of them were scary i experienced a really strange bathroom uh during

the first night where like i uh i went to the back and they just put mirrors on all the walls i'm not talking about like oh individual mirrors like no the walls. What? I'm not talking about like, oh, individual mirrors. Like, no, the whole wall was mirrors. Oh, you don't know about the art of perspective pissing? So it's just like, it's just a room wherever, no matter where you look, you are looking at yourself pissing. Dutch angle pissing? It was really, really weird.

It is a sit down too. So if you wanted, you could observe yourself as you shit as well. They really had it all for you. It's avant-garde. Avant-garde cheating? I think I have the bet for the most American thing out of anybody in the group. I think I did the most American thing. Me and the wife

took pictures of the Walmart to send to my mom. I think we did the most American thing, which was taking pictures of the Walmart to tell my mom, hey, the Walmart's different over here. What do you mean the Walmart's different?

What the fuck is different? They're so different. It's different Walmart. French Walmart. French Canadian Walmart. I was like, holy shit. All the aisles are so short. They don't sell the normal things here.

You're so hard to be around. I know. It's the Walmart. You're difficult, dude. To be fair, he did sniff out Mountain Dew Pitch Black like a bloodhound. I did. I did. Awful little man he is. I got

six foot fives worth of little goblin energy. I'm sorry. Slap him, guy. Oh, God. We got to do Patreon questions. Alright, Patreon questions. If you're $5 and above tier on our Patreon, you can ask a question for the Patreon Q&A at the end of the episode, which is right now.

Let's check it out. Let's fucking answer some quips. Oh, fuck yeah. Crunchy Lettuce asks, what are your guys' worst someone looked at your screen at the wrong moments? I know Billy has this infamous boss seeing a cat picture moment,

but I don't know about any of the other hosts. Similar experiences? Okay. Oh, God. I have one right off the bat. I'm thinking about this. Eighth grade, my grandparents' house.

I am playing flash games on my grandma's computer and she comes over to like supervise and see what I'm doing. She like walks away for a second and I pop up the maze game.

I don't know what it is, but I'm like, hell yeah. The second it gets to the screamer, she's right back there and she peeks at my screen. She sees the jump scare.

She takes a step back and she goes, holy my screen. She sees the jump scare. She takes a step back and she goes, Holy fuck! That's good. My screen story was a middle school teacher thought me and another guy would be a school shooter or something. What? Well, no, we were, it was some computer lab.

I don't remember what class. There were so many computer lab classes. We were playing the Madness Combat Flash game. Fuck yeah. Those are fucking awesome. Yeah. We were playing the Madness Combat Flash game. Fuck yeah. Those are fucking awesome. Yeah, we were playing it, but a teacher came by and saw us shooting the fuck out of people with Uzis. She went, what is this filth? And we were both sent to the office big trouble.

Oh no. They got it figured out that we were in fact not planning to blow up the school, but we're just playing Madness Combat. We were just playing the dumb flash game. Yeah. And so the lesson became instead, oh my God, because the teacher was there too. And she said something like,

like this, this Madness game. He's trying to explain it. Like, he's like, no, it's called Madness. It's like this Madness game.

Like it, it might not be a threat, but it's inappropriate. It will benefit your life with nothing. Madness will give you nothing for your life. I remember almost getting caught for playing Adventure Quest in Computer Lab, but then I told the teacher I was just doing research for my GeoCities website, so I was finding a way to put my profile on my GeoCities website.

Oh my God. I did the same thing with like one time I was just on Garfield.com playing Flash games. Garfield.com. Gar games. Garfield.com. Garfield.com had games. I know what Billy's talking about. When they would block fucking everything, all you had was Garfield.com or a really obscure thing.

You didn't go to CoolMathGames.com? Cool Math Games got blocked so fucking fast. Cool Math! The real sick shit was figuring out in high school that you could just put a whole game on a flash drive, pop it in, and get the whole computer lab playing halo yeah oh yeah we had the student drive halo guy it was great i wish we did that shit so fun we did that one we did age of empires too as well engineering class i talked our teacher into doing a uh fuck what was it uh cs go

tournament because we were done with our project oh that, that's sick. Not CSGO, CS Source. Source. I'm old. Our Halo party ended with the... I can't remember if I've told this before, but the principal coming over because he thought there were homeless people camping out in the school parking lot. What? Our engineering teacher did not give a fuck about what we did after finals, so we had like two weeks of playing Halo. One day we ordered Papa John's

to class. We were doing fuck all. Oh, okay. I get it. The thing is we it was an engineering class so we had devices yeah one of them was um yep this happened to dimitri too someone brought a fucking um george like a not a george foreman they brought a grill to school like a stand-up grill and for reference the engineering class had like windows to the school parking lot so if you open up the windows you could step in and out and be in the parking lot so they so they set up the grill the parking lot and started having a barbecue for reference this was in winter so it was cold out so like oh no it's a bunch of high

schoolers bundled up around this grill like cooking a teacher saw this from a very far distance so they thought there were a bunch of homeless people camped out in the parking lot having like an oil drum fire. It's just like, I see these people in bulky clothes, like around this fire. Like there's, they're cooking something.

So the, uh, the principal and like two police officers are walking up. He's like, you guys like, you need to get out of here. Now you're trespassing property. It turns around.

He sees like their little baby faces. He's like, what the like what the fuck's going on like oh we're a bunch of kids yeah like oh we're grilling it's for our class and that little window the teacher swings his head out and he goes it's okay this is for a project he just swings his head back in oh what a dude what the fuck the only thing he gave a fuck about was teaching us about autocad and also raving about skype i fucking hated the autocad work only thing he gave a fuck about was teaching us about AutoCAD and also raving about Skype. I fucking hated the AutoCAD work. Was it a civil engineering class? Because that was mine.

No, I did one of those, but that had a rivet. Fuck rivet. Rivet got better, though. But revet, whatever it was. For us, it was AutoCAD and that one Lego one. Fuck, what was the Lego engineering thing? Mindstorm? Mindstorm.

It was like a programming suite for robots with Legos. Yeah, that's still around. what was what was the lego engineering thing mindstorm mindstorm you could program it was like a programming suite for like robots with legos that was still around they just call it something else now but that's still around yeah yeah people would be surprised but when i was a kid i was actually smart i was one of the gifted classes motherfuckers you know i mean gifted classes at least in america are, oh, you like to read? You must be special. Literally me. You like to read?

You must be special. Yeah. You read ahead in the book and did your homework? You must be different. The way they got it for me, it was like, oh, you get like more than 85% on most of your tests. Holy shit, dude. You must be a brainiac. I love being in the gifted classes and I'm trying to figure out what made me smart.

And I was like, he could read it at 12th grade level in third grade. I was like, I like to read the book and I can stack things. They handed me Oreos and I stacked like a hundred Oreos. It's like, damn, you can stack. Let's send him off to mock trial so you can do criminal cases. I was like, what? Slaps his fucking forehead. Damn,

this boy can fucking stack. This boy can stack some Oreos, god damn it. It's really cool that it made fifth grade significantly more stressful than most of high school. I'm not a smart dude. I just really loved reading and I really liked robots because robots are fucking awesome. That's it. You read and then you learn words from context clues and you start acing the red vocab books

and it's his brain is different. Oh, wow. You have a special literal interest. That's crazy. You must be gifted. It's like, no, I'm fucking i'm a kid with an obsession it's insane thinking about my eighth grade like gifted program project which was just here's a box build this connects roller coaster that was the whole thing no i had one christmas i got a connects roller coaster and it was the

best christmas ever me and my sisters like work to give her a step on one giant fucking thing you ever step on one yeah of course i stepped on one i stepped on one i went the only person i knew with connects was one of the fucking turtle and the small soldiers rock him sock him set that's the only connects kid i knew that was my one connects experience did any of y'all have uh or know someone who did have uh toys that scared you as a kid uh this is uh that were just weird ways you used to play with toys as a kid why is mandy maniacal i wished i wish dimitri was we have to get him to guess sometime. It's not my story, but he had... Dimitri might be one of the funniest dudes ever.

The thing is, his parents got a Jurassic Park... It was like a velociraptor. Oh. And he could press this button on it and it would go... And make the noises. The thing is, he put it under his bed and and he had it for like two years or something. But then the battery started dying, and it would start making the noise the dead of night, and he didn't know what was happening.

So he'd be laying in bed hearing the dying Velociraptor toy. So he's just sitting there eight years old hearing... Oh, this reminds me of a fucking story. You oh dude so yeah at one point my dad um we i forget i think it was a florida or something there was whatever one of the universal parks it has a jurassic park ride yeah um where you just get into like a makeshift version of the jurassic park car and like it's supposed to be like the park and it's all fucked up right and it's it's very slow it's just like things happen at you there's no speed or anything and it was pretty pretty normal the whole way through but i'm like six or seven years old yeah and i watched a

movie and i was like that's so cool it's a little scary but it was cool and dad then you know dad's like oh you you fucking you fuck with dinosaurs so we go together we're going on the thing and it's pretty normal for the most part but at the very end the the tone changes and it stops being like look at the cool dinosaurs all over the place and we go inside a building and there's like alarms blaring everywhere and like red lights flashing and shit and i suddenly just like shrink i'm like oh i don't i don't know if i like this anymore and at the very end there's a life-size t-rex animatronic it's over i'm not i'm not kidding i've never heard a sound this loud before or since

and it's the sound from the movie so you know you know, it's like, I feel my bones shake as this fucking thing is. And it goes. And my kid self looks at it. I'm just like, I lose my mind. And the ride ends. I'm shell shocked. I'm like, I cried a little bit. I'm like shaking.

Dad looks at me. He's like, did you like the ride? I'm like, uh-huh. And he's like, I really like you. Dad looks at me and he's like, did you like the ride? I'm like, uh-huh. And he's like, I really like, you want to go again? And I don't want to disappoint him. So I'm like, okay. Oh my God. Oh, you went again.

Let me do it again. And this time I'm like, I know what's coming. So the entire like peaceful part of it, I'm just like, it's fine. I'm good. I'm good. I know what's coming.'s gonna be fine and it's just as bad as the first time oh my god this time i actually like cry and yeah yeah it was bad i got ice cream though so no it's funny it's funny no i just feel bad for dad because he just felt like an asshole oh i mean but he got me dipping dots so you know

it's all right yeah you can't tell what's gonna scare a kid kids yeah no it's fucking whatever made for a really good story so it's okay that he traumatized me dude when my fucking sister's kid's gonna come out i going to be like fucking scaring the shit out of that thing. This is a joke. This is a joke. This is a joke. Whenever your sister's not looking, you just look at the kid and you're just like...

She just goes back to normal again. I actually keep making that joke. Like... We keep going to the grocery store like near where we are right now at the fishing lodge and every single time we come back i'm like yo our friend literally kept looking at babies and kem going just to scare him and then everybody's like what the fuck but you know when i was a kid though, I can't remember specifically a toy that scared me, but I can't.

I remember a movie that scared me. Oh, yeah, that's right. We discovered that only the Norbit DVD full screen had Technicolor. No, it's not Norbit. It's not Norbit. Although we did when I was a really, really young kid, I was horrified of small soldiers, which is weird because we talk about that movie so much.

And I genuinely like that movie. So much. I genuinely like that movie. But when I was a kid, I remember one of my friends was like, we're going to have an, oh God, what's the video game called with the toy soldiers? Armament? Sarge's Heroes? Sarge's Heroes.

The GameCube one was like Sarge's Heroes. Armament, Sarge's Heroes. Yeah. We're going to have an Armament, Sarge's hero the gamecube one was like sarge's heroes army men sarge's heroes yeah we're gonna have a army men sarge's heroes party i was like very very young like maybe eight be mean be green paint yourself green i came to his place and when i got to his place it was around october so halloween his family put up a bunch of really fucking horrifying decorations of like witches that when you would get next to them they'd go werewolves that would go and like just like jump at you because they were like like you know like those robotic ones yeah like machine ones i would wiggle around and basically i got in and i got caught i got scared by all those fucking every single one

got you and then i said i sit down fucking small soldier starts i see fucking what's his face the fucking what's his name god damn archer leader the gorgonites i am archer leader of the gorgonites i see archer leader of the gorgonites and i'm like my ass be crying my ass be shitting me i get up i say i want my mommy daddy to come pick me up i can't dude i got out so fast i know but dude it was one of those like every like you're so young and everything is before it was just horrifying. And then I just I remember I called my mom. I'm too scared to be at this party. And it was like my first party ever. And my mom was like, I told you you weren't ready for parties.

Oh, God. Do you guys have moments in movies that did that to you because i'm really it was the first time i ever went to the movie theater when i was still you know like i remember what was happening on screen it's the reason why i didn't go to the movie theater for a really really long time i kind of that stopped me from watching movies from age four to 12. Wow. And now here you are, a certifiable kino-sexual. That's how you say it.

I'm kino-sexual. I'm peak sexual, bro. It's pride month, everyone. I was four years old, super tiny. We went to see the Rugrats movie movie the rugrats in paris i think who was in paris shut up i'm gonna start responding to that now man anytime anyone asks who's in paris i'll be like oh fucking rugrats all i'm saying is it wasn't chucky's mom because she fucking died in that movie yeah chucky's mom died in that movie i thought they're

getting her i'm a new mom in that movie at the the start of the movie, I mean, I was a tiny baby. I was like 40 years old, barely remember. But all I remember is- They show the car crash footage. I sit down. What? They don't. They don't.

Do they? Yeah, they do. The first couple minutes of the movie is like a flashback to before Chucky was born, and they show the car crash. I don't remember that. Yeah, in Rugrats in Paris. Oh, right, because Reptile knocked a car off the road yeah you see okay you're lying stew is directly responsible for chaz's dead wife you're lying you're lying shut up but i remember i was sitting

down with my mom and she it was the first time she got me a little popcorn a little toy that came like you know the popcorn bucket she was trying to make me comfortable and the thing is i was not upset about the loud noises like some kids i am reptile i got really sad because the beginning of the movie was about the mom dying and i was i remember being so young like four years years old. I looked at my mom. I was like, no. That shit had me bawling. That shit had me bawling. I'm dead ass. I was bawling. I was like, that was one of the moments where I was like, oh, death.

For me, that moment. Oh, shit, you die. For me, that moment was the first Rugrats movie because when Tommy Pickles says, when Tommy Pickles says, if the monkeys want the nanners, I'll give them the nanners. I was writing shit down. I was like, how do you get rid of your little braby brother? How do you get the monkeys want the nanners, I'll give them the nanners. I was writing shit down. I was like, how do you get rid of your little Braby brother? How do you get rid of monkeys and nanners? Got it.

Braby got to die. How do I get rid of the baby? Thank you, Tommy. He was too weak. I would have been strong. I just remember literally fucking bawling my eyes out and I was crying inconsolable. My mom had to take me out of the theater and we were outside and she was was like what's wrong and i was like i don't want to die catch me crying at the pokemon movie i had a fucking there were a couple that did it for me one time there was just nightmare before christmas was

airing on tv and uh just a very normal scene but it was the one where they first yeah you know the kids uh like they're trying to kidnap santa claus but they get it wrong and it's the easter bunny like they let it out of the trash bag and it runs around and jack is like no that's not right and they start bickering and he has to get their attention and so he goes from his normal self to like making a face he's like yeah i remember seeing that and just going from oh this was this is interesting to i don't want to watch this anymore. I'm not Stu. Oh, fuck. There's Large Marge. Large Marge from Pee-wee's Big Adventure terrified me for years.

That's so funny. I was so fucking scared of the claymation face that I would cover myself and tell him, Large Marge sent you. She's actually horrifying, bro. It fucking terrified me. Even as an adult, it's like so out of fucking nowhere. It's like, what the fuck? I've seen that clip

as an adult and I was like, why is that in peewee? When they pull the burning body from the wreckage, it looks something like this. Fucking terrifying. There's one other. My dad bought Constantine on dvd and oh my god you know i was too young right so they didn't buy it for me but like as i was going to bed

they popped the disc in and i saw how the the menu is introduced and they did this cg thing where oh god what's the production house that has like the woman with like the angel wings and she comes down from the clouds oh yeah yeah what's yeah, yeah. What's that one called? I'm not sure what you're talking about. I don't remember which one. Trimark? The Paramount? Was it the old Paramount logo? No.

It might be Paramount. It might have been the old Paramount logo because now they just have the mountain, but it used to be the woman. If you're our age or older, then you know what this is. Remember when they got rid of the woman from movies? It was Columbia TriStar.

TriStar! Oh, Columbia TriStar. It's either Pegasus or the lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the lady appears but they do this thing wherever like uh she stays there and uh and the the colors go from

normal to like constantine color grading and like she's like slow like it's a time lapse and she becomes fucked up and demonic the it then thunders a thunder appears and she turns into one of the statues from uh from constantine and then the constantine music plays and i see that and this is the most horrifying thing i've

ever seen in my fucking life by a long shot because it introduces to me the concept of a thing that's normal becoming fucked up i lose like three days sleep to that. I don't even tell parents. I just lay in bed awake like, that's not good. Totally happened to me too. When my dad would watch Gone in 60 Seconds, he would beat me up after it. Thanks for coming to the podcast.

Stephen King's Storm of the Century scared the fuck out of me, but Pokemon the first movie is the first time I felt shame as a child. Shame? scared the fuck out of me, but Pokemon the First Movie is the first time I felt shame as a child. Shame? Pokemon the First Movie taught me shame. Explain. My dad took it with me. He was actually into Pokemon because we

backstory, once again. As I've mentioned before, he was big into Japan to the point that there was a time we went to Bed Bath & Beyond and we sat at one of the display tables and we just had Pokemon cards out. We traded them for random passerbys. It's like five or six. Everyone had Pokemon cards. I've never heard of that, but that's kind of

cool, but also sick. It wasn't like a thing. He just said, hey, let's just sit here and see if anyone will trade. And we sat near the front. Employees started trading Pokemon cards with us. That's kind of cool. This is like whenever I bought the lime green Mountain Dew Xbox and put it on a table and like like three conversations got started while we were dying from hot wings at too many games yeah oh god this was just this was the time when everyone

had pokemon cards okay i get it yeah but he's like let's see the first movie and i was in the theater and that's the scene where um spoilers for pokemon the first movie he does it's the scene where ash is fucking dead and turned to stone when he turns into stone yeah dude i haven't seen that movie what the fuck and then and then all the pokemon start crying and the magic pikachu and all the magic tears are flying into him and i remember gripping my armrests really hard and being like what is this feeling because i'm looking at my dad i remember looking at my dad and he had the most weird outlook in his face and he looked at me and he just shrugged and i and i realized the word i was thinking i went this is fucking embarrassing i'm feeling like watching something with the parrot and being like why does this feel weird

like oh this this is really embarrassing the magic the magic tears bring him to life this is how i know we're different people because that scene in the theater for me was me bawling and then burying my face to my mom and being like oh honey i'm like pikachu yeah this is how different this is how those are our diverging points when the magic pokemon tears brought him back to life i felt like something was deeply wrong. You felt embarrassment. We all felt sadness. Why didn't he stay dead? The thing was, I wasn't at an age

where I should have felt embarrassment from that. It should have been fine. I probably should have been crying when I was like, what's happening? I don't like that my dad's watching this with me. Yeah. Just trying to put together what was wrong. It's so weird.

It's like a normal thing, though though a parent takes you to a movie like that but then the magic tears made me go something's not right but I don't know did you release were you like a child and you went oh fucking ding he didn't ding just did that

fuck this shit fucking ding oh my god the thing is it didn't stop us we saw the second movie together. We saw the third one. The problem is on the third one. The third one. Maybe you like the embarrassment. Oh, with Entei?

Yeah. Guess what? There was a fucking blizzard that night. We were on the freeway for four hours. Oh. And we got to discuss Entei. Mainly me going, Dad, why was Entei her dad?

And he went, I don't know. The Japanese make kind of weird stuff. Rocket, Chips, MrStarchy, Rat Supreme, Geef, Cassandra Crash, Echo Stalker, Guy Beam, Dog Named Bear, Lomda Man, Rocko the Raccoon, Random Diamonds, Ulbert, Woodstock, DX Studios, Mr. Shirt, Brain Soup, The Frostace, Ethereal, Chris Chapman, Will9455, Leo the Geotech, Generic Phoenix, Boopoo Lou, Spherical May, Bland But Funny, Eric Scott for listening, and we'll see you soon.