Please Stop Talking - Nasty Boyz (feat. Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

This will be enough. Be lucky you are spared, child, tell them that I have returned and my flock will soon rise... Check out our merch! ▶ https://pleasestopshopping.com/ Support the podcast on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links:  @SirMeowShow  ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/sirmeow.gay  @BrendanielGaming  ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/brendaniel.bsky.social  @Badddladdd  ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/badlad.bsky.social Ten ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/tenwebbs.bsky.social Shina ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/happi-arts.bsky.social Podcast ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/pstpodcast.com Podcast also available on Spotify and iTunes! iTunes ▶ https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify ▶ https://goo.gl/fdVg9V Art ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/b00rad.bsky.social Video Template ▶ https://bsky.app/profile/thehangingrabbit.bsky.social Chapters: 0:00 Intro 0:23 PST is a PittFic 6:19 New "Make-a-Guy" Grocery Ruleset 16:01 Hot and Fresh Brendan Lore Drop 19:19 The Offspring (of Jellyroll...) 22:11 Pity City Waco 29:18 POV: Your nurse is into anime. wyd?? 31:34 The Pittdel Test 34:02 Patreon QnA 44:40 SSR Horrific Anxiety Shina Lore Drop 59:23 Outro + Credits #PleaseStopTalking #PSTPodcast #ComedyPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy! The PSD Network is fully independent and mostly supported by you guys. If you like what we do, share your favorite shows around and give us a rating and a follow. Little stuff like that helps way more than you think. And if you want to support us financially, check out the link in the description for a link to our Patreon. We hope you enjoyed this episode of Please Stop Talking. You know how I've been talking about how many medical dramas I've been watching recently? I have the... Oh, you're gonna talk about the pit?

No, well, I don't need to talk about the pit. talk about the pit. It's, I mean, it's good. Go watch it. It's fantastic. Do they have the baby in there? Do they have the baby? Yeah, can you eat it? They have one baby that they find. They don't eat it. Oh, so there's a pit baby, but they don't eat it. That's crazy. This is a joke for two people. That's crazy. And they're both here. Fuck, what was I? Yeah, I was writing down, uh, I kind of want to get back into writing. So I, I wrote down the plot to an episode of the medical drama, the pit. Would you like to hear about it. Sure. Tell us your pit fanfic.

Pit fanfic. So my pit fanfic, right? Your pit fic, if you will. Usually people send fit picks, not pit fix, but, you know. This happens between episode five and six of season one. They get a child that comes in and they believe that the child

has a brain tumor, but actually it's not a brain tumor. They do all the, all the scans and the, the, the child keeps like fucking freaking the fuck out. saying weird shit, being confused. But then they learn that he was actually just stimming.

Okay, so let me just like critique. Can I just twist this a little bit? Okay. I twist this a little bit. Instead of it being a tumor, can it be a Nintendo 64? It's not a tumor. What do you mean in his brain? Like in the, I haven't seen the pit,

but I assume if he has a Nintendo 64 and his brain, you remember that old video, they could rip the child's brain open and start yelling, Nintendo 64! Nintendo 64! Come with like a copy of Glover. I have no idea what you're talking about. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Oh, you don't know about the video? The old one, Nintendo, with that child from like the 90s? Of course we know about that video. That's not the thing that's weird. The thing that's weird is that you're saying that it's a brain tumor is comparable to a Nintendo 64. Yes, it's something that's there that shouldn't be. That's what a brain tumor is. They both run Mario.

Wait, a brain tumor is just something that shouldn't be in there. That's it? Super Mario 64. In some, in some parts of the world, you know, you know, Phineas Cage, that was. was just a large-scale iron brain tumor. Wait, so brain tumor is just a foreign object on the brain. No. It's a tumor.

You're the one writing pit fix, man. You should know this. Yeah, you're writing pit fix. I don't fucking... I expect you to be, like, licensed and shit. Ever get at, Billy, now that you've seen the pit, do they ever... Oh, by the way, welcome to the podcast. Billy, now that you've seen the pit, do you think that there's going to be a part in the pit where they're like, I sniff it? Welcome to the podcast.

And should they have a show like the pit about the mortuary in the pit, but it's called the hole. Actually, I'm thinking about this. The hole would be the prison pit. They could do the pit like the hospital show, but they could do it with a prison so it could be the hole. And then you could have like a, I don't know, you could do like a... A pit, a hole. Okay, so... You could do like a Walmart, you could call it the crevasse.

You mean a sec. I'm getting my note pad out. I'm taking notes of this. So if I made a show about your mom, I'd call it the Grand Canyon. So the pit, the hole. The crevasse. The crevasse. And the grand can't.

And the Grand Canyon. I'll be writing. I'll be, uh, follow my AO3. I will be writing about this. My A.O3 pitmatic universe. Can I, can I, can I, can I can I can I can I can. Do you want to pitch your pitfic? Mike? I would like to push my pit thick. So my pitfic is, uh, one sunny day. The pit is, do we have to shark tank this? Wait a minute. Do we all have to be sharks here before we start? I can be a shot. Wait, wait. I can. Oh, no. This is like X factor. Okay. Cool. Just like buzz, buzz when you want me to stop. This is like X factor for fan fix. Okay, my character is a British man, graying hair. I'm sorry, Sheena's already taken Simon Cowell. So.

Fuck! Yep. Feet of your Simon Cowell. You've already taken Simon Cowell. What does Sheena get to be Simon Cowell? Because Sheena invested all that money into Botox. They earned it. Fine.

I'm Demi Lovato. So is Demi Lovato still? I don't know what Demi Lovato's up to. I only keep up with Pute Lovato. Oh, I only keep up with Sammy Lovato, so I don't know about half what she's doing. They. They. They have to do it.

Just proved his point. I'm just not up. I'm just not brushed up on Levant. Missed that part. My idea of pit, my dream pit episode. I've never watched the pit. But it's a sunny day in the pit. And then darkness descends upon the hospital.

The nasty boys arrive. Problem. Problem. Problem. Mike. What? Problem. Anything you do to pit,

you are just making Garth-Maregis dark place. This is true. But that's why the nasty boys are there. Oh. They're going to take them to pity city. Can you explain the nasty boys to the to us? The nasty boys were a tag team in the mostly 80s, but they lasted forever because they were friends with Hulk Hogan and their gimmick was they would just take people and take their faces and rub them into their armpits. Forcefully put people in that Bakushin gift that was going around that made the sidegames ninjas fucking go nuts.

It was it was the 80s, man. It was the 80s. They were friends of Hulk Hogan. It was either that or the Bush. Whackers who are ancestors of fucking Cameron and they would come down and lick baby's foreheads. What the fuck? Yeah, big fan of my, big fan of my boy stable that includes the nasty boys, viscera, uh, Vissera as big daddy V and Bastion Bougar.

Yes. So it's two viscera. Big, big fat fucking corporate. They get into the ring. They fucking break it. Big stinky round men. When you saw, when you said like the nasty boys, I thought that, I thought you were Characters I made up.

No. We thought you were, he thought you were inventing like a biker gang. No. This is all for the, the pity city bit. I thought you were, I thought you were inventing like a,

you're making a guy. A gang of greasers that are just like really stinky. We're the nasty boys and we don't like medicine. They need to go get a shower in the decontamination room. Have I updated everybody on the make a guy rule for 2026? Oh, you have told me about this, but I don't think you've,

you must announce it. If you make a guy in 2026, for a joke. They have to be married to another guy. Yeah, so you have to make two guys. You have to make two guys. Dark woke. This is what they're talking about. Yeah, the Seahawks won. So, this is the woke wave. Seahawks one, Dark Woke. Woke, too. Woke, too. Thank you, Sam Darnold. I'm like a guy who really hates groceries. I have to make a guy who's like, guy who really

likes groceries, and then they're married. Oh, they have to be like opposites attract. Yeah, they're married now. They argue about it. They argue about it. No, I don't want, I don't want them to argue about it. No, but it's like playful. I want to argue about groceries. I hate grocery shop. then. I got really angry grocery shopping recently. I fucking I've been starting to plan around fucking the times where

children are there. Like I go grocery shopping during the day when it's old people because I would rather be behind old people than be surrounded by running children that ask about my hair. Dude, you, you get it. I fucking hate the grocery store because something switches in my brain

when I'm walking to the produce aisle. I get fucking mad, dude. No, I'm pissed dude. Fucking everybody else. Go home. I'm groceries, dude. Get the fuck out of my way. Dude, when I see a bunch of fucking dumbass ankle, but I got so fucking pissed recently because this fucking dad, I get where he's coming from, right? He's giving, he had like a cart for himself. And then his, his kid was following him with his own big cart. Like, I guess what he was doing is teaching him like, hey, when you're at the grocery store, you pick things up, whatever, you have your own cart. Thing is, they both had carts. They would

take the entire fucking aisle. The dad was just talking to the kid. The kid wouldn't move out of the way because the fucking, that's not something that they really do. So the stupid fucking dad was like blocking two alleyways because he had two fucking carts. I was getting so fucking angry, dude. Who double carts at the grocery store? I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's crazy. Is that a line from the pit or did they do that in the pit? Don't bring us back to the pit. I don't want to go back. In that show, it's gurneys. Well, it's called the pit because it's. always calls you back. My fucking Pitt fan fiction is the guy who runs the pit, whose name I forgot,

because I only watched the first episode. So goes to the, yeah, Jonathan Pitt. John Pitt goes to the fucking grocery store and he hates it. I love the grocery store. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. I fucking, I love going to the Aldi. I go to the Aldi and I'm in the cheese aisle. And Shelby's like, Brendan, don't put more cheese.

It can't handle that more cheese. And I look at my wife and I say, six ham dinner or six cheese dinner? And then it's six cheese dinner every time. But you know what I do love about going to the grocery store? What Brendan just said, you know how much cheese you can to the grocery store. It's so much fucking shit. I love the, go at the grocery store is awesome because you go there and you get food.

She's too expensive now. Cheese is really expensive now. Not at the Aldi, dude. It's like, it's like three bucks, four bucks for a good cheese. Glorpe shit. The Aldi's super cheap. I get pizzas there for like three bucks a piece. Oh, dude, their pizzas are cheap.

Her pizza. Or cheap pizza, taste fucking good. Frozen pizza. Oh, I love the Aldi. I go to the Aldi. I live in the Aldi. I am the Aldi. Put a quarter in me.

Move me with you. I'm your shopping cart now. Jonathan Aldi. Jonathan Aldi. Where are we going? We're going to get groceries, Billy. Now, you've wandered to the grocery store. When you go to the grocery store, Billy, what's like the, without a list, what's the first thing on your mind?

Fruit. Bananas. Bananas, yes. Dude, that's the first thing I grabbed last time I won. I don't really eat bananas, but Boo eats bananas every single morning, so I need to buy bananas. What about you, Shita? What are your thoughts in the grocery store? I think within the spectrum of like, like, like grocery shopping and disliking it, I don't know where I stand.

Brocery Central. No, it's more towards... That's fucked up, man. You stay your ass in the bakery, bro. You soft as hell. I don't know what it is about the grocery store, but when I'm in there, I just like, my eyes just get freaking all shifty and I'm, I'm stressed. See, no, you agree.

And I'm, like, hunched over. I just like, I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here. The grocery store, you're the grocery store, Gallum? I lose it. I lose that I want. I didn't live. I'm running a pick on my.

I fucking great. You probably stressed out about it because of people like me just fucking running around, getting bananas and fucking drinking my coffee and loudly going, anytime somebody's in my way. No, genuinely, I'm so afraid of being in people's way. Oh, my wife sends me out like a fucking RPG summon. She's just like, I need this and I go around the store grabbing shit for her, bringing it back to the card.

You know what? I kind of do, I do the same with Boo. I'm just like, oh, I forgot this. You do it. Who understands it's husband quest stuff? It's time to send you on a quest, boy.

Oh, you send him out like one of those like couriers in Dota. If the grocery store changes you. That is latent instincts of a hunter-gatherer society, man. I'm going to kill somebody for this fucking bag of lettuce. It's over. I like in Brendan's like world, Shelby's just like, go, bring me back some bread and you go, me can do that. I just walk over.

Something me doing? Dobs done. What are you doing? Brub, brub, work, work. Yes, my lord. Oh, boy. Work, work. Do you think, do you think if, okay, let me do this.

If husband and wife, not me, but to clarify, imagine husband and wife, wife sends out husband on an RPG level quest. Can't you're making up a guy. It's got to be two guys. You're making up a guy. It has to be two guys. Husband and husband.

Guy who loves groceries, guy who hates groceries. Bring him back. Bring him back. They're at the grocery store. Guy who loves groceries gets sent out of the quest. If he sees somebody that immediately steals him from his other husband, in an RTS, is that like the Wollolo, like the groceries monk or the groceries? Yeah, he gets converted.

Willa-no, does his shirt change color? Yes. He starts shopping at Wegmans instead of at Acme. Can we have a world where you have to just wear the same colored shirt if you're married? That would lead to a lot of polygamy. Why did they have to wear shirts? Shirtless in the grocery store, Billy? Because no shirts, no shoes, no service.

You never been to a grocery store? Yo, if you're going to be shirtless in the grocery store, you can go hang out in the bakery next to Sheena with the other centrist. Okay. We'll have a, we'll split a Danish. If you had no feet and no torso, would they kick you out of the grocery store if you didn't have a shirt and no shoes? What if you were just legs and head? They would just punt you like a football?

If you were just legs and head like Rayman? Yeah, like verse Rayman. Would Rayman get kicked out of the grocery store? He would just go like, wow. No, because he has a shirt and shoes. He's a shirt and shoes. Sir, I'm sorry, we can't accept you here. We're going to call security if you don't leave.

What happened to get up to get to get to do. He's gonna be a problem. You're just making smiling friends bits. That was a smiling friend joke. No, that's how fucking Rayman talks and Rayman too. He talks like Glep smiling friend. Sorry, I don't know about Rayman. Think you invented him.

His name is now gay man. Who is he marrying? One man. No, he's marrying his best friend Globo. So. I know Globox. Yeah, Globock is married technically and has like nine children. But in my A.O3 fanfic, please, please like and subscribe to my A.

they're actually married. Dark woke polygamy. I'm only on Wop pad, buddy. I'm a Wapad warrior. Wet-ass pussy pad? No, not Wop pad, Watt pad. Yeah, dude, I'm on Wop-Pad all the time. I'm a Wop-Pat all the time.

I'm fucking gooting like crazy style. Oh, no, no. I don't know where we're going. Hydrophobic, but he eat the pussy like rabies. Where are we? I don't know. I like the grocery store. My grocery store is like abandoned and haunted,

and the only thing you have to be really worried about is the hash slinging slasher that walks around. But other than that, I mean, that's the benefit of living on an island. The hash slinging slasher. Is it fucked up that I don't pay it forward for the Aldi carts if we get a cart with a quarter already in it? I just take the quarter.

No, that's my oldie quarter. Wow. Fuck those guys. Did you know you could buy like an Aldi fake quarter for like five bucks? And I just like, what's the fucking point? Oh, it's just like a flat piece of plastic. Five a fucking quarter for 25 cents.

Just use a fucking quarter for 25 cents. What the fuck is wrong with you? Five dollars can buy me. many quarters. Wait, I'm confused. What do you mean by that? Billy, you could buy a poop knife on Amazon. What? You can buy a poop knife. Have you ever shopped on Aldi, Billy? Well, no, because we don't have Aldi. Okay, good. You got to get Aldi. Wow. All these have a thing where all of the grocery carts are chained together. Unless you put a quarter in the slot, yeah. Uh, ADHD, all these nuts continue. Oh, nice. So they're all like chain gang together, and then you put a

quarter in the slot and it unhooks the chain. And then when you put it back, you chain it back, and you just pull your quarter out, Mr. Crabb style. Okay, I have seen that. I have seen that in the U.S. Some people just, like, we'll leave the quarter in and, like, Brendan saying pay it forward. And Brendan's a little fucking goblin who needs to go sit and collect his riches. I hit my coins. Yeah, dude, no, I'm not giving people a fucking, they should have showed up prepared.

They probably don't even have bags. They're going to get there. They're going to be like, oh, where's the plastic of paper? Fuck you. I, you know, okay, wait, I actually, I feel like I know why some people might buy that, is I know that some people just don't bring, like, coins with them anymore. Just get a quarter then. Then why?

Just get a quarter. I'm going to put my $5. Allie quarter in the cart and then Mike's going to pay it forward. I'm going to be like, brother, that's five bucks. If you go to the grocery store and you have need of a cart, I'm not trying to like, fucking say fuck the homeless fuck people on public transportation, but if you're buying enough food to need a cart, then you probably have a car. Your car probably has a little place for change.

Put a quarter in there. That's what my car has. Here's a couple of quarters for you. There's always a quarter in the cup holder for Ollie. I don't think I've had. I don't think I've had like cash on me in so long. I wouldn't either of my money was named after Bugs fucking Bunny. That shit is Looney and Toony.

The Looney Tune Tune. Oh. Oh, I love Bugs Bunny. What a funny guy. I also love Bugs Bunny. You are now married to a guy that is, does not like Bugs Bunny. No, I didn't, I didn't invent liking Bugs Bunny. Sorry, I'm just working.

I'm working my Elmer Fudd Bugs Bunny toxic Yowie Fick. Follow it on fanfiction.net. Oh, man. I actually have my fan fiction account. I could, if you want. I mean, we already know about Angar the Gungar-U-Nu or whatever, Gungar the Gnardar-N-ar-G-No. What did you just say to me? I wrote a Halo fan fiction a long time ago in high school called Unger-R the Ungoing Hunu.

The Ungo-Han-Hu-N-I-N-U. I don't think I ever talked about the other fan fiction I wrote. Ungarar the Angagunu. I feel like, I feel like this is the perfect time to reveal. Oh shit, Brandon reveal. Let's see. Okay. So Ungar R the Ungo-Hunoo. There's an Elder Scrolls fan fiction.

What is that one called? Dr. Jarther? Dr. Jarther? Like Jarther, like Arthur, but with a jaw, with a... With a J and a hyphids, Dr. Jarther. Oh, Jharther. Jaarthur. Dr. Jharthur.

Oh. Another halo one above that. My longest one, which was a bunch of fallout short stories. I can respect. I like a good, not a lot of short stories around short story collections. Another Fallout one, another Fallout one, another Halo one. And then my favorite one, which is the fear fan fiction that I wrote called The Slender Man. Oh, before or after? Before. Wow. So you, you were the, so you mean, do you mean like fear? Like the game fear? 2007, it would been, it would be in fear too. No, I wrote this 2011.

It would have been Fear 3. No, it wasn't Fear 3. It was just Fear. I didn't play Fear 3. I played Fear 1 and 2. And you, what was the Slender Man in your story? It was the Slender Man. Like my pages.

My favorite bit is a line where I wrote, Slender Man just talks in his mind. This will be enough. Be lucky you are a spared child. Tell them that I have returned and my flock will soon rise. Dude, nice. What an eloquent man. He is an eloquent man.

I kind of like that. I always appreciate when we get to see the other side of Brind Daniel reads, It's Brent Daniel Wright. Oh, back when I printed Daniel wrote, yeah. You've burned Daniel Wright. I mean, I still bring Daniel right. I just keep it to myself because it's not good. Yeah, I read a lot.

I just keep it to myself because I don't have anything good to share about it because it's just a lot of world building. Hey, it's epic. They got you reading about, like, fucking sewer systems and how they're built. True. I was reading about culverts because I was doing dungeon city stuff and thinking about like how the sewer would impact like a fantasy city if it was a more modern sewer.

I had big crabs roaming around. I was trying to figure out like world. not just for like writing but for tabletop stuff, but regardless, I'm not going to, let me tell you about my really cool world. I love when Brent Daniel tells me about it. I feel like that's 90% of the conversations I have with people that are like, I love tabletop. It's always like, let me tell you about this cool, awesome world I've created.

And then it lasts forever. Well, it's kind of like dream talking, like dream talking and talking about your tabletop's line. Oh, I fucking hate dream talking. Fuck it pisses me off. I don't know if they're alive anymore, but they got you. they're coming for you. They look like bind the is ophetus. I'm going to be real. I fucking super highly doubt that dream is still

dream is not relevant anymore, right? Let me see. I mean, I know he's not. Google Gemini is dream relevant? You can have so many dreams. It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next

chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. Dreams can be Cool. I mentioned the offspring concert in the podcast. I have a story. You have not. I love the offspring. Okay. Went and saw them live. It was fantastic. So I'm sitting there. It's my brother, his new girlfriend, my mom, and me and my wife is next to me. Shall be the entire time when the offspring start playing immediately. It's like, I want to fly that blimp. That blimp fucking rocks. I want to fly

that blimp. But my mom at a concert, I've been through a couple of concerts with my mom just throughout my life. And every time she always wants to make conversation during the concert. During the concert. My aunt's like that. And the worst part was Offering is playing Like you're gonna go far kid Like they're gonna go fart kid Like I'm fucking bobbing my head

And my mom I look down She's looking up jelly roll Concert tickets on her phone Oh my God He's bad Another chance to talk about jelly roll Another jelly roll Oh, be diabetic

The amount of jelly rolls we're talking My mom has this problem sometimes Where I get this from her Where it's like the unmitigated worms Where you just say shit and she's always done this with characters and people all throughout my life where she just looks at me looking at her jelly roll concert ticket she looks up at me and says I want him to be my baby daddy

and I went um what who jelly roll you know his wife has a ranch if he was my baby daddy I would have a ranch oh then she would have a ranch that's such a random way to say I want a ranch that's great my mom wants to marry a rich man bum didi diddy dum bum like she wants to it's always when I was a kid And we watched wrestling. She would always say that about John Sina. It's like, oh, I wish I was dating or married to John Sina. It'd be an awesome baby daddy.

Okay, I get, that one I get, though. I thought you were going to say million dollar man. 10 DiBiase. It goes, I, you could be my baby daddy. And we'd be watching wrestling and thinking to myself, man, I wish I was dating the nasty boys. I'm not that fucking old, Mike. No, but it's just like a funny thing that, like, someone's parents would know. Like my parents only

Like whenever It's really funny Because like whenever my parents See anything about wrestling Like their frame of reference Is always honky talk man And Jimmy Snooka Just like two absolute

Amazing picks Well my mom is as old as John Cena So like Okay So that makes sense She is 48 so Was anyone doing the I'm super rich and success

It was JBL Yeah JBL could be your baby daddy Yeah JBL was doing it No my mom didn't like JBL She didn't like his hat KVL was the best version of that gimmick

It's him and Cameron Grimes and NXT when he started doing it. Yeah, but J.B.L also has the fucking, like the close line from hell, which is maybe one of the best moves of all times. Sick. Or he just whips the shit into him. Yeah. That and the test, a big Buddha forever in my head. Sorry, we're wrestling. We're going to stop.

They're going to fucking kill us. Billy's turning red. Oh, fucking please sublux them. Look at how mad he is. Look at how mad he is. I'm literally vibrating right now. You're shaking with rage. I'm shaking with rage.

Please suplex them is good. Put a pin on that. For me, personally, I wish some. nasty boys were my baby daddy. You don't want to get nasty. You couldn't survive a trip to Pity City. Two nasty boys. They're married and they're both pregnant.

Go. Go where? Go home. The nasty boys will follow you though. Oh, it follows, but instead it's the nasty boys follows. That'd be a peak for me. It's the nasty boys. And then if they catch you, they've taken a Pity City.

That's what they call it. Pity City. Because they're nasty. Somebody's fetish was activated by those guys 100%. They're the nasty boys. Yeah, it was Hulk Hogan. It's not that nasty. If your fetish was...

Bring me those pits, brother. I want to get a whiff. Completely shaped by the nasty boys. I'm so sorry for you. I set up a go-fund being your favor so that you can please just exile yourself from society. No, here's enough money to build a cabin. Just leave.

Get Goku and Vegeta to help you. What, no, I don't want the fuck. Don't go build your own fucking nasty boy, nasty city. The nasty boy, we don't need fucking nashy-down. The nasty compound, no. The ATF raids nasty boy compound, like it's fucking Wakeup. The ATF would want to, no, they would want to fucking rate it like Wake up,

but they say like, no, way, no, we're not fucking going in here. It's too stinky. They go in, it smells like, They're about, like, they're about a breach and clear, like, it's a rainbow six siege. And around the corners, Brian Nobs get ready to take him to pity city. He's, like, rubbing dirt in his armpit. You're going to learn today. They've got a fucking brap cannon loaded.

I'm fucking, I almost spit my fucking water, dude. My God. Yeah, the despicable me brap cannon. Instead of the ramparts would be the ramparts. How would it calm you like that even worse? What do you mean? Local landfill. Eat the flies.

Oh my God. Collect the flies. Eat the flies. Yeah, with big tons. Collect my pages. I need to ask 30 minutes late. Because I feel like I've been listening to like the most like insane just out made up fantasy world ever. It's been rancid.

Who are the nasty boys? You guys. Okay, let me get you a picture. They're wrestlers from the 80s. from the 80s. Because I think you're just making up some dudes called the nasty boys. No, we'd say they were married if we made them up.

That's what I said earlier. I was like, are the nasty boys like a group of greasers that smell that. This is a picture of the nasty boys and their nasty ling. They have a nasty. Yeah. How? Why wouldn't they have nasty? Oh my God. That's a small child. Why wouldn't you, why wouldn't

you fucking open up with they have a nastyling and it's a small disgusting boy? That's not reason. That's not recurring. It just happens to be in that one picture. It's not right. Who is the boy?

Please post more fat wrestlers. I'm posting Big Daddy V's famous move. Yes. Big Daddy V's famous move. There it is. Look, and here for your viewing pleasure. This is an audio podcast. I don't care.

This is someone being victimized by the nasty boys and take it to Pity City. It's just a guy in an armpit. That's literally it. Call him stone cold stink Austin. way he'd be in that pit. There's an audio medium. Nobody can see any of the things they were talking about. They don't care. They're about to put this guy there too. They're about to send this kid

to Pitty City. No. We gotta get... No, that's a boy in a wheelchair. Like, you can stop posting pictures of children in wheelchairs being put in Pity City, please. No. They didn't put him in Pity City. Pity City needs to be

far, far behind. Thinking about putting him in Titty. It's one, that is one frame in the moment of life. You don't know what happened before or after. You, you brought us back to Pity City. I didn't mean to. I didn't understand Pity City. I've seen too much Pity City now. Please

get me out of here. It smells and it's hot. I don't know where I am anymore. The podcast is Pits Stanky Time. It's crazy. This fucking podcast is awful. I understand the horrors of it, what everyone's been describing now. I love wrestling.

That shit's so silly. I do too. that was a core mag memory for me it was just getting drunk watching wrestling crack it open beers dude throw on fucking mankind under digger hell in a cell make everybody else in your finger out let them know let them know

throw on Batista's entrance just fucking Batista coming out to the ring we were hitting Batista's entrance and the Randy Orton pose for like the entire weekend so awesome I hear voices in my head they talk to me they understand they talk to me

Eddie Orrin was also one of my mom's he should be my baby daddy, so that's a good pick. It's a handsome guy. Until he shits in your bag. True, he does do that. So there's pity city and shitty, shitty, shitty baggy. That's not like a wrestling gimmick. He just did that to someone. You just shit in somebody's bag.

Yes, he's a little asshole. Why would you shit in somebody's bag? He's a douche bag. Because his gimmick is that he's wild. He's a douche bag. His gimmick, that was just what he was doing in real life. That was shoot poop. Shoot pooper.

Shoot poop. Shoot pooper is now my wrestling name. Thank you. What's your gimmick? What's your gimmick? What's your signature move? You don't want to fucking know. But the nasty boys do not want to talk to me.

Even those filthy, filthy boys. Following your own rule, making up a wrestling character for yourself is making up a guy you must now create a tag team. Team partner. Oh, you must have. Poop shooter, he turns into a gun like a transformer and I shoot the poop from him. Work pooper. Well, shoot pooper and poop shooter. They're married.

Work pisser. No, I like, I like shoot. They have to be married. I like shoot pooper and work pisser. Work pisser. It's fucking, I can't believe work pisser because this theme song by himself is just going to, I make a dollar. Boss makes a dime.

I make a dime. I make a dime. I make a dollar and that's why I pissed when I work. Oh my fucking God. We are all almost 30. I am 32. I am 32. Yeah, he is 30s.

What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? This just goes to show the un-aging comedy of poop and pee, dude. So I'm saying. 30-year-old man. Poop and pee is literally the funniest thing. People will always be waxing crazy about the four bile. Nobody ever talks about yellow bile anymore.

We got to bring it back. What's yellow bile? You should watch more of the pit. You'll find out. Well, I've seen all bodily fluids. Is yellow the pus? Welcome back to the pit. Puss isn't really yellow, though, is it?

Well, that's the issue that I've had. Wrestling lingo has, like, completely fucked up how I talk to people. Because I remember I was talking with someone at work about someone that I had. And I mentioned, like, yeah, they came in, blah, blah, blah. Their tropes were elevated and all. Like, they had a shoot heart attack. Yeah. Just having actual real things work and shoot fucking kills me, dude.

I just had to hold describing this versus real ass, like, real heart attack is a shoot heart attack. I mean, I'm sure it's better than if you're obsessed with wrestling, somebody out there, a nurse out there is obsessed with anime and talks about his Bacca's. Yeah, dude, he came in and it was kind of like he activated the Kayo Ken, you know, really powerful, but then like after a little while, he just lost steam. So this guy came in and he got it by a bus, did not Isika. I do have a Jiu-Su Kaysen pin on my badge. And I... At work? Yeah.

You can have anime badges. Little swag like it's TGI-Fi. It is. You call a really convincing hypochondriac hype moments in aura or... Yes. It's, what should call it? It's Kenjaku when he's dressed up like a nurse during the fight with the comedian. Yeah.

Yeah, I have that on my badge. And I'm going to be honest, if I saw a nurse. with that on their badge, I would think they're a serial killer and request a new one. Yeah. Can I get another one? Yeah. How often do you get, do people point out and go, oh, anime? Not at all because most of my patients are older than like 50.

That doesn't mean anything. They can be into anime babes. They aren't. Yeah. My great uncle was before his butthole fell out. That's true. After his ballhole fell out, he was like an ancient weeb. He was like 70.

Yeah. My uncle is like 60 or something. And he was, he was, uh, he was a. with only the PS2 game because of the woman, the big-breasted woman and also Luna from Final Fantasy 10-2. Aw, that's awesome. Yeah, 10-2. Not 10-1. Specifically 10-2. That's cool.

Yeah, you know why? Because of that fucking anime. You know the opening where she dances and sings? Yeah. Yeah, he was obsessed with that. Hey, Final Fantasy 10-2 so fucking much. 10-2 is as good combat. I just wish it wasn't 10-2.

Called 5-Vasy 10-2 and wasn't what it is. We had a store when I was a kid called The Price is Right, and it was a store that took like damage merchandise from trucks and they would get in a lot of video games sometimes and sell them for dirt cheap. A shipment of like Final Fantasy 102 was damaged. They were selling it for 10 bucks like the week of launch. And I bought a copy, brought it home. My uncle saw me playing it, stole my PS2, played it for a week straight, no showers. All he would do is sit in front of the PS2 and play Final Fantasy 102. Not no showers.

Not no showers. No showers, piss jars, absolutely the worst. old unks. Piss jars! Step aside, Brendan. Your unks gotta get stinky for you fee. You can't just say shit,

I found a new nasty boy. I can't believe my uncle is one of the nasty boys. Not surprising. Do the nasty boys still exist? No. Well, I mean, like, they're still around. They don't wrestle. Taking Riku to Fitty City.

It's taken Riku to really reek. Ew. What if we got, like, the filthy boys? Okay. What's your pitch? Well, like, if you create, two guys at once. If they're, like, in their inception, do you have to give them two husbands?

Actually, if you create two guys at once, you have to give them two wives. Oh, why? If you make one guy, you have to give them a husband. But if you make two guys, you have to give them two wives. Oh, it's like a double negative? Wives, like, they're married to each other? Or wives, like, one of them is each married to a wife? One of them is each married to a wife.

Okay. Okay, why I've been meant to two guys, Barney and Fred. And they have two wives. Now you're going to fucking shit yourself what I say. I like it. I like where this. is going. Actually, I think the rule should be if you invent two guys at the same time, somebody else gives them two wives. The wives are Jessica Rabbit 1 and Jessica Rabbit 2. You're

welcome, my fix-d-year-old. Really, really phoned it in for woke 2. And Jessica Rabbit 2 doesn't love them, so I'm going to take her. But do your new characters pass the Beck Del test? Not how that works. They pass the Pit Dell test, so they would love to go on the pit. Like the show? Yeah. Bit Del test. Does anybody during this podcast mention the pit? We failed, but. interact with me fails the becktel test, but it's because sometimes I talk to women who don't have names. Joking there if you're smart enough. That's a good one. No, I like that. That's a thinking man's joke. That's a thinking man's joke.

Every conversation with me fails the bechdel test because I'm always gassing up my boy Robert. Shout up. Every discussion I have is about another man. It's about my friend and why he's awesome. The way that I fail the bechal test is way more woke than the way that you fail the bechel test. Yeah, I'm just a good friend. Moment of silence. It's an audio medium. It needs to be constant noise or nothing is happening.

No, shut up. Everyone who listens this is way too overstimulated. Just give them a minute. That's what I, that's what I was saying. You need to calm down because you know where we're going next? We're going into Patreon questions. No.

We're going into Patreon questions. You can't do this to me. Yeah, I brought you. There are no Holcomaniacs here. There are no old comedicx here. There are many Elkomaniacs in this air. It's not cold. Patreon.

questions. If you're part of the $5 and above deers, you can ask the questions on this part of the podcast. I have a question that I really like. Brass asks, are you feeling more woo or more we? That's the one I wanted to ask. You're a fucking piece of shit. I'm a woo guy. I'm a woo guy through and through. I'm a wee guy. I'm a wee guy. I'm a woo guy. Why you woo? It gets my adrenaline pumping. Not to discriminate or anything. The thing is

we, we is like, I'm, I'm in, I'm in, I'm on the ride and I'm like, we, woo is like, you're, you're actively, you're actively, I'm being passive. Yeah, I'm, I'm having the time. No, I know. Yeah, you put me on a roller coaster, dude, I'm gonna sound like Rick Flair. You kidding me? You're not gonna go woo. Yeah, but like, I do.

Active, active and passive with that is, is one thing. You're not woo. You don't woo in a roller coaster. I, I woo on roller coasters. Dude, we hit a fucking turn. Fuck off. No, you don't. you wee. No, I woo. You don't woo. You don't woo.

No fucking way. You don't woo. Get the blood pumping. I'm a woo guy. You're a woo man. Finally, the bechtle test within my reed. Bechtel test pass. Yes. I would never actually we. Why not? I don't own a propeller hat. I don't own overalls. Big lollipops. Too big for me. You can't fit in my mouth. Whatever. Fuck on. I'm a woo guy. But here's the thing. Why are you going after my fashion sense? Wee is Kiki and woo is booba, right? Yeah. Okay.

What about you, Miss Sheena? I think I'm a woo guy. Yeah, see, Sheena gets it. I'm a woo guy. You know, why is everybody a woo guy? No, right now we're two for two. Mike has to be the tiebreaker. You a wee or a woo.

No, I said we. We're not even voting for anything. Well, here's the thing. I'm not like, we as in like, I'm not, I'm not, you know, shout on we from the rooftops. I'm not going wee, we, we all the way home. I just feel the we. in my soul. I think we'd have switched teams to Wu guy

actually, I've thought about this. Yeah. You fucking rat. You fucking bastard. You fucking bastard. You fucking bastard. You fucking piece of shit. Why? Is this the Rick Flair? Woo! Yes. You know what? Yes. No, I said that

Rick Flair would never go. You put me you put me on a roller coaster, brother. I'm hitting the Rick Flair. You put me on the roller coaster. I'm hitting the which is spiritually woo. You put me on the roller coaster and my model starts freaking out like a G-mod prop. You can either rag dolls out and slap against the sides.

And then I get removed by an admin. It just gets the blood pump in the woo. I'm not changing. I'm still wee. I know if you. I know I am. I totally support you in that, Billy. You're a wee lad.

You don't have to, you don't have to support me. I don't have to support you. Hey, hey, Billy, as well, you know, I support you being a gay little wee boy. That is exactly, that's exactly how that sounded to me, actually. That's what my belly said on the playground when he found that I didn't have an Xbox. I didn't I did you don't have an Xbox We boy That's what the bully said

Yeah because I'd be a funny little gay little wee boy Are you a little Nintendo wee You little gay wee boy Chad warden here Halo I was gonna say Chad warden's your bully Chad Gordon

I haven't thought about Chad Gordon No while Murru Zero asks What alcoholic drinks get you a different Kind of crunked up But can you describe how Tequila and I'm not drinking it Because it makes me a demon

my my one friend she makes uh she makes something called the popalade i don't know what's in it but it's named after popola from near and that thing got me so fucked up i went on like crazy side quest that night popola popelade called popolid because of popola from near yeah she gets like swissert crazy okay for me it's also tequila because tequila is fucking insane kill is a demon it makes me it makes me a demon it it brings out the devil. It makes me feel awful. If I'm having a, God. You, you know I'm having a bad night if I go, dude, you want to do tequila shots?

Oh my God. I'm having a horrible night. I just want the salt and the lime. The tequila is an afterthought. I hate tequila. One that really fucks me up, buzzballs of any kind, dude, actually. Oh, my. Uh, absolutely destroys me. Beatboxes are dangerous. What is a beatbox? A beatbox

is like a little plastic. They probably don't sell them in your country. because your country cares about its citizens. Okay. What if a four loco didn't taste like shit? Oh, we banned four loco a while back. Honestly, like four locoes, I can drink a four loco and I'll be fine. If the beatboxes come out, it's over.

The night is done. Damn. I'm not going to have fun in two hours because I'm going to drink the whole thing and then I'm going to keep going. It's just an evil concoction. It's an evil fruity concoction. That's like 15% alcohol or something. I kind of just, I don't really drink.

Alcohol that isn't beer, quite frankly. I always go for beer. I just don't really drink that much. At most, I've had, like, maybe, like, one bottle of, like, some... I don't even remember. It just makes me sleepy, and then I go to bed. Soju? No.

So, actually, you know what? Soju fucks me up. I know this is, like, the fucking... This is, like, the most fucking gay furry cliche of all time, but, like, soju, like, I swear to God... No, I can say, I don't give a... I get a f*** scent, like a really fucking crazy f*** scent when I drink Soju?

Was that fucking Mike that just like exhaled? Yeah. It's because I'm looking up, I'm looking up a crazy tweet for you. You're talking about your gay soju? Oh, I, I, I already know what, what fucking tweet you're going to get because I think everybody's seen the fucking gay furries drinking soju tweets. No. Oh, well, well, never mind.

Yeah, soju fucks me up and I get gayer. I think soju makes everybody a bit gayer. It's the fruitiness in the drink. I never get. I don't think I've ever gotten drunk off of soju. How? I don't know. I don't think I've ever had soju.

I just like, I drink a whole bottle and I'm like, yep. It's so high in alcohol. Level 100 snivey asks, what is a social or conversational happening that will haunt you forever? Can either be something you personally experienced or something you've heard about. I have this fucking awful habit because I can't hear shit sometimes. I've got terminal CHS. That people will ask me a question multiple times in a row and I hit them with like, three or four uh like huh like huh

and it seems like i'm trying to sandbag them and i don't want to help them but i'm actually just stupid and can't hear anything and uh this happened to me i was at a concert um and somebody clocked me as being from the podcast as at a jeff rosenstock show i'm sorry to this individual i genuinely didn't understand what you were asking me oh i didn't know about that they well so i didn't know about it until a few days later and i was like that's what happened Fuck. Because some guy walked up to me. And again, I'm sorry if you're listening to this.

I wasn't being an asshole. I genuinely just didn't understand the question. He pointed at me and he was like, Ben? And I was like, I'm not Ben. And then he like pointed again and he was like, Ben. And I was like, no, no, no, no. And I'm like gesturing. I was like, I don't know.

I don't know Ben. I'm not Ben. All this stuff. And he does it like two or three times. And then he like, oh, you know, my bed. And then he walked away and I was like, yeah, dude, I like, I know one Ben. And like, I don't know that guy. Like, he didn't clarify it.

And then. How much alcohol did you have? Not that much. Were you drunk as well? No, I wasn't. I just couldn't hear. And I was standing up above the pit like on the rail. And I thought the guy asked if my name was Ben.

And then three days later I said, holy fuck, that guy pointed at me and said 10. I'm sorry. If you see if you see me in another punk show, come say hi and I'll be nicer. You just need to be loud and say 10 webs. I'm going to think you're saying. They're going to say Ben, Ben, Ben, Thames. That's not that good name, bro.

and then you'd walk away. I'm sorry to that gentleman. I hope you enjoyed that concert. It was good. I had one experience, my freshman year of college. I was home from like a night of going out. And I was in the lobby of our like dorm. And there was this girl who I'd seen a few times because she lives in her dorm.

She was really cute. And I started a conversation with her and we were talking. And she gives me her number. And I was like, oh, cool, great. And I'm sitting there. We're just like, watch TV or whatever. Get a text. And it says,

Hey, it's me Sam. I see this and I put this together my brain. Some dude named Sam. This is my friend Sam from when I was a little kid who I haven't talked to in like six or seven years. Yeah, laugh at us. And I go, yo, what's good, dog? Oh, no. You list to say, I, I fumbled midfield, no recovery.

Massive fucking fumble. She didn't even look at me the rest of my time at that college. Oh, it hurts. I think about that a lot. I don't know how my life would be better, but it probably couldn't be worse. You just said what's a big dog and they just like nothing dead. Just dead. What's all big dog? What's up big dog? Oh, you just you just know she was fucking in her dorm talking to her fucking dormant being like, what the fuck is this? How do I? Dude, I grow the fucking special needs kids in our.

Jesus. Oh my God. I've got my hands on my head. I'm stressed. Ball up top. That's all I can say. Every single fucking time that I've done something like that, I already talked about it. I was going to say, isn't this show built on that concept?

On the concept, weirdly enough, on the concept of me doing it a lot. Just like in general. Because there was a lot of Ed's stories. Yeah, but Ed is agro. I'm not agro. I just am stupid. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I've done it.

If I've done it, the only one that I can think of that was cringe and imbursed. embarrassing and weird and stupid was the one that happened when I met Scott the Was. That's what I already talked about in a previous episode. So I'm not going to repeat myself. Just go go watch another episode. You'll find it. I have a story I can contribute to this question. Yes. About two years ago, I was working at a boba shop and it was just me at the front and the shift lead in the back. occasionally the shift lead will come to the front to help me out with stuff or bring ingredients that they finished preparing. Yeah.

And these two guys walk in and I take their order. Oh, the nasty boys. You'll see. Oh, no. Oh, no. My shift lead recognizes them and they start talking. Well, I'm quietly working on the drink, the two drinks that they ordered together. You know, my shift is asking, you know, how have you been all good?

I go good. And the guy who I took the order from was like, this place hasn't changed, has it? Still the dumped it was before. This is about to flashback. He was about to flashback. That's crazy. What the hell?

Like a movie? No, it was genuinely. It was still the place it was before. Like, you were in a hallmark movie. Yeah, yeah. I was in a movie. I was the freaking background character of a movie. And this guy, like,

It's conversation took such a, like, it took a turn for something darker. He was like, still the dump it always was, wasn't it? My shift was like, yeah. And then I, you know, I was like, oh, I'm going to work on this faster. Get the ice, get the eyes. Um, get these guys out of here. So I finished the drink and I had him the drinks. Like, use everything.

Thanks. He pulls out $5. And he's like, uh, you guys take tip still? I was like, yeah, you can put him in the, uh, you can put him in the, that drawer right there. He just doesn't say a word, just pushes out the, the five dollars towards me. I take it and I moved to put it in the drawer for him. And I was like, that's weird. It's like right there. And he says, no, I want you to take it. And that started to freak me out because at this place, we weren't allowed to take like personal tips. We put all the tips into a pile and then split

evenly among people. Most fast food places, I mean, I guess it's not technically fast food, but it is. like you it has to be split between everybody at the end of the shift yeah i'm like oh no like it's okay i can just put it in the jar like i have to share and he said no i want you to take it i retract my hand he says i want to see you put it in your pocket and i was like i feel like i'm being held at gunpoint oh god that's so weird no don't act like this so i just i nervously like my eyes shift to my shift lead and he's like yeah it's chill i put it in my my pocket and i'm like okay, have a nice day. And the two guys, they walk out the store, wave to the shift lead, and they turn the corner

and disappear. And I'm like, so you seem to know those guys? Who were they? What the freak was that? And he said, oh, the person that you took the order from used to work here. He got fired because he got caught stealing tips from others. He's trying to pass a sit down to you, bro. He came in to make him.

you evil and that was his old goal. Man, this place is still a dump. And then he said, and the guy he was with, that guy used to work here too. But he got fired as well because he was like a 26 or like, you know, 20-something year old hitting on like the high schoolers that worked there. Oh my God. And I don't know how to tell you this. It sounds like you had an encounter with the Boba Akatsky.

It's a gag of evil motherfuckers. Wow. I guess they were nasty boys. They were the nasty boys. They were the nasty boys. There were filthy boys actually. Stinky, stinky. Shitty boys.

I, like, I've never had this happen to me, but like, like, after, like, that hit me, the $5 I felt in my pocket just felt so disgusting. And I put it in the jar. It started vibrating heavily. No, genuinely. It started glowing. and like floating in the air. I get it though.

I felt like I had just like extremely freaking dirty, slimy money in my pocket. I didn't want it. I put it in the jar. Some crusty currency. It kind of does feel like that, though. That reminded me of something I did. I was really young. It was maybe like my second time working because I worked at McDonald's, but I worked at

two McDonald's. I worked at a McDonald's in a mall and McDonald's in a Walmart at the same time because the same owner and they were next to each other. I was working second time at the Walmart. It was like my first month on the job. I was not even old enough to technically work there, but my parents signed a thing to say like, yeah, it's okay, he can work here.

They made me clean tables most times. And while cleaning a table that had nobody was there anymore. Like the people left, there was just like a few things, like some crap there and like a crappy magazine that was kind of broken apart a bit. I mean, I just took it and I threw it away. I went back to the trash cans to like push the trash into them a bit more with like the like the plunger thing. And an old lady comes to me and she was like, oh, I'm sorry. Have you been cleaning the tables around here?

And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, sorry. I, yeah, I've been cleaning up the tables. They're very clean. They're if you want to eat on them, you know, whatever. I didn't know where she was going. And she just said, yeah. So I left my, I left my magazine there that I just bought. Did you like pick it up and put it somewhere?

And at that point, and while she was telling me this, I would look, I was looking down at the fucking magazine because I was pushing it lower into the trash can. And I just, I was so embarrassed. I just told the lady like, oh, I didn't touch a magazine. And I felt so awkward. Like, I felt like the magazine itself was screaming at me. It could be worse. You could have been like sitting behind the counter feet kicked up reading it. No, haven't seen it.

Haven't seen it. Like your finger and flip a page. I think the thing that really fucked me up was the fact that she was a very old lady and she had like trouble walking. And I don't know. She was like, bro, you're the devil.

Walker. And I was like, I know, man. I know. I, I, dude,

I was, I was so scared because I was so young. I was like, I'm not technically supposed to have a job yet. And I was like, oh, dude, I'm gonna fuck in.

I'm in trouble now. So I love. Those coming to get me. He's going to get me. He's going. I pulled my ass and super hell. Yeah. That made me die a bit.

Did Brendan talk about it? I have way too fucking many. You have to do one. You have to pick one. Back when I worked at the GameStop I covered for the mall for a little bit. Because I worked at the GameStop by the Walmart in my central. There was three game stops in town. One in South Sioux City.

One at the Mall in Sioux City. Wait, GameStop at Walmart. GameStop always puts, they try to always put a game stop back in the day near a Walmart. That way like, oh, it's right there by like a strip mall by Walmart. They like to try to like localize a game stop by a Walmart. if they can so there's central traffic instead of having them like way out of the way. Okay. So I covered for them all once and I was thinking about the time that somebody came in.

I said, hey, welcome to GameStop. Can I help you get anything? And the guy looked at me and said, I can't believe you fucking asked me that. And then he ran out of the store. Like face red yelling at me. And I've never been more confused in my fucking life. I was just looking at it. I'm like, what?

That's cool. I like that story. There are ones I've told on the podcast. They're so fucking many. If you work in any capacity in fucking retail, you're just going to get the freers. I used to have this slimy guy in who would come into My GameStop, and he would steal iPhones and wipe them and sell them to us. And I made friends of them just so he could leave my female co-workers alone.

Because he kept fucking hitting on them in the grossest ways. Disgusting. So what you're saying is that you're a hero, actually. I usually would take the, it's like when I worked at Best Buy, I would usually take the hit when racist people came in, because I'm the tall white man. So I'm like, let me take over for you. Let me deal with this person.

Oh, you're such a nice young man. I don't believe they let that filthy slur at work here. And I was like, that's crazy. That's crazy. What is Grandma doing at GameStop? The fuck? This is Best Buy. GameStop, I did have a grandma walk in.

Okay, sorry. I thought, because for a second, I was like, where the fuck is grandma going in there hurling slurs around? Technically, a lot of grandmas would walk into my GameStop because it was right next to a Sally's beauty store. Can I get Mario? Well, no, Sally's Beauty Store is right there. So I got a bunch of dementia old women

Who'd walk in, get all the way up to the counter with her return Look around and be like, This isn't the fucking Sally's. What the fuck is a Mario? And then one time one of them walks somewhere It was like, Hello, Shanny. I would like to buy Tokyo Shanidu, please.

Talk your sanity. Actually, they did have an elderly lady by Fire Emblem Three Kingdoms, like a 75-year-old woman. Beast! She's like, hell yeah, I got this for me. Genuine Beast mode, damn awesome. I've talked about Chris, right?

One of my favorite like regulars at the store was like a 65 year old man who had like a caregiver who would come in all the time. Was he the one that was super into ARPGs? No, he really fucking loved Pokemon. He was obsessed with Absole. Oh, no way. One time he showed me his. He showed me his 3DS and he said, I'm going to crash the Wonder Trade Market. He showed me his 3DS and it's all whale lords and all absoles.

That's the box is. Actual Beast mode. What the fuck? Well, yeah, he was great except for my other employees because. he would unleash his mental illness upon them, but I was nice to him, so he liked me. One time I took a call from him where he just told me, did you know that I stopped all euthanasia of all cats all around the world after they killed my cat? I asked who was they said Nintendo.

Oh, wow. Okay. That's what you mean by. This is a man who is, by the way, banned from Sony and Nintendo's call services. They blocked his numbers. He believed that Sony secretly owned Nintendo because when Sony sold the PS3s for $600, they made so much money that they bought Nintendo under the table. Oh, that's what you mean by mental illness. Yeah, he, I mean, he was nice enough. I like dealing with him specifically because he would come in and he would try to trade in his 3DS all the time because he thought it got hacked.

And he didn't have enough money. And I felt like every time he tried to trade in his 3DS for a new one, at least once every couple of months. And I was like, Chris, it's not hacked. You're fine. Let me look over it. You know what? Let me take it him back and give it a look at the OS operator. I'd make up a word and take it back there.

I would just turn it off and on and be like, it's fine. I got rid of it. I purged the bug. Cool. Well, that's, same thing of best by. I would get in a lot of people who would be like they're hacking my file. I had a lady who would be like they're hacking my Bose headphones. And I say, can I take a look at them?

I'll take care of this for you. It went back. Didn't swap them at all. Just put them in a different box. Brought them back out and said, I've taken care of it. They're unhackable now. I've exercised the ghosts in the machine. I was hanging out with a friend that also had like, he had a job at a, like a mobile.

What is that called? Like a mobile service provider? Carrier. A mobility. A carrier. That's the word. And he was saying like some fucking old woman came by one, one time at his, uh, she was like, I don't know why my phone is so slow.

And then she had like 357 apps on it. Norm of the North Slots. And it was like, and the North Slots, Norm of the North Slots, normally, anytime that she was playing her like Sudoku or whatever apps and she got like an ad, she would click on download to get rid of it.

How do I get on truth social? Can you make me an account? this is actually what my mom's phone looks like. My mom's phone is also the same. Yesterday, my mom was like, hey, my phone is not charging. Can you bring it to the Apple store for me? And I'm like, yeah, sure, that's fine. Like, it's my day off.

I'm not doing anything. And so we check with her. We're like, are you okay not having your phone for a day? Like, because if you're going to leave it with me, then I'm going to, you know, you can't have it for that. She's like, yeah, it'll be fine. I'll be fine. It's okay.

And then six o'clock in the morning rolls around. and she barges into my room and is like, Michael, I need your phone. I was like, why, mom? Why do you need my phone? She's like, so that I can call someone. And I'm like, okay, here, take it. So she had my phone all day.

So if I got a text from anyone on Discord, my mom saw that shit. Oh, dang. Wait, what did I? Yesterday? Yeah, yesterday. Oh, and so. Oh, okay. For a second there, I was like, dude, I thought I said,

sent you the video of the Roblox. I don't know how to explain it. The Roblox? I don't know how. The Roblox. I don't know how to. Look, can I just, I'll just send it and chat. I'll let you explain it.

It's very, She did, I'll click on this. Okay, okay. Eyes closed. Ears closed. I'm just warning you. I already,

I'm going to tell you right now you would fucking hate. You didn't send me this. Why are you out of yourself like this? I said it. I thought I sent it to you, but I sent it. this to Ed. This is.

You're insane. So I have my mom's phone like for the day. Yeah. And I'm in hell because like I can't like text anyone or like make a call to anyone who's number I don't know off the top of my head. And it's like I can't log into like my Discord or anything like that because I have two factor authentication on for both my email and like Discord. so I can't and I'm out like I'm an hour away from home so I finally get to the Apple store and I bring it in I explain the problem where it's like it's not charging like if you try to charge the phone from the port it's not charging and they look at it and they go okay they turn that

motherfucker off turn it back on again it works and I just look like oh man I'm just jaw open just I look the guy in the eye go I hate her ass I hate her so much that I get up a walk out I call my dad and I'm like, mom did not attempt like IT 101. I'm just turn it off and turn it back on again. But my mom's phone, like I had, I had to scroll through some of, uh, some of the pages of apps to get on things like, I don't know, Apple music or whatever, just for the drive. And she has like, yeah, on one page, she has three different solitaire apps.

Beast. That's what I'm saying. Dude, my mom just has like a bunch of fake slots. Yeah. Norm in the North slot. Should we do one last question just to end it off? No. Hey, thanks so much for listening.

This episode would not have been possible without the help from our patient. Patience? Ha! I'm so pit brained right now, dude. Without the help from our patrons, such as Alan Diver, Artivogin, Avery Pascal, Bupulu, Brain Soup, Brass, Cassandra Crash, Chipples, Chris Chapman, Dirt Eater 2713, Do biology.

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