Please Stop Talking - Never Meet Your Heroes (feat. Kwite) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: March 22, 2020

Who's getting on? Support the podcast and David on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic  Check out our merch!  ▶ http://pleasestopshopping.com/  Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65  Links:  Avery ▶ https://twitter.com/ShammyTV David ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Ed ▶ https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Kwite ▶ https://twitter.com/Kwite Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast  Podcast also available on Spotify and iTunes! iTunes ▶ https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify ▶ https://goo.gl/fdVg9V  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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have access to our patron-only Minecraft server, ask a question or a hypothetical for the Patreon Q&A at the end of the show, and a bunch of other stuff. If you join the $10 and above tiers before April 6th, 2020, you get some PSD and FND stickers. For more info, check out patreon.com slash sermiamusic. Yeah, yeah, she's that creature from Okja. Welcome to the podcast.

Wait, don't keep that in. Oh, Jesus. Good grief, man. Strong start, strong start. No, we're not going with that are we gone with worse i know we've gone with pedophilia it's just that you were like it wasn't me it wasn't me we have to go with this now shut the fuck up i don't even are we everyone introduced you as a pedophile if you stop touching so many kids that's exactly right shut the Shut the fuck up. Stop saying that.

Honestly, I would stop introducing David as a pedophile if he stopped doing, like, a Japanese accent every time he pronounces anything from Japan. Like, he slips right into it. You're fucking gonna say Japanese accent every time he introduces the podcast. Welcome to... Oh, my God. We're not keeping this. I can yes we are what yes we are mute that

no david don't ed has said much worse i've never done like audio yellow face though david stop where this is the podcast no it, it's not. Yes, it is. It clearly is. Why did we clap if it's not? Why did we clap, Sinkt? You intro'd us. Someone got called a pedophile. We're done. This is the podcast. We're in it. Oh, no.

I'm sorry. Hey, Quiet, you happy to be in here? Oh, yeah. By the way, there's a guest on this episode. Is there really? Is there really, though? That's a good question. How are you doing? Quite. We're all introduced. Thank you guys for having me. No problem. Real quick. Can you put on like a Japanese accent? Say the intro to our podcast.

I feel like I need to balance things out here. I feel like a piece of shit. No, it's the intro to the podcast is just I'm not. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I've never done it, by the way. Just to clarify. I don't... Go fuck yourself. Wait, which one? The kid touching or the Japanese accent?

I'll let you decide. You can only pick one. No, you can only pick one. This has gone for so long. I don't... You decide. Those are mutually exclusive actions. God, imagine David doing both at once.

Holy fuck. I want to give an example that we're recording. Go for it, Kate. No. What do you mean, get an example? Actually, they had emperors. I don't... Are you feeling quiet?

A lot of ways, my friend. A lot of ways. We make sure we say horrible shit but we make we title every like podcast episode after the guest so when they're done listening they'll think the guest said everything that we said you're the only one whose name is going to be in the title of this video yes yeah we basically all have like immunity right now yeah and we only link to the guest socials. All of our socials are like blacked out. Yeah, that's how it works.

It's literally only quite. If you have issues with this episode, please stop talking. Tweet it at quite. Hang on, I got to do the caption on his YouTube about page to find his business email. Y'all are fucking capping. I know, I know you're capping so should we talk about packs this is technically the pack special but we just did 10 minutes on pedophilia and racism this has got like yeah i was saying like this bit has gone on for so long

the podcast is 90 bits 10 on topic and then five percent uh patreon questions yeah pretty much so basically like how how long has it been two weeks now two weeks that we came back from packs yeah it's been actually exactly two weeks because it ended on march 2nd oh you're right yeah uh yeah we basically went to packs all of us to PAX, all of us except Avery. All of us except everyone? Yeah. Yeah. It was just me and you.

What do you mean all of us? Well, Quiet was there. I was. Oh. Oh. David means all the people on this episode. Oh, on this episode. Yeah, no.

Everyone on PST was not there except me. I would feel sad if that was the case. Cameron had work. So did Brendan. Manny doesn't show his face. Avery doesn't show his face. And Kyle probably had classes. Yeah, Kyle's very busy

with school right now. I feel like this episode is just hitting me right here. Feels like a lot's happening right now, and I'm just so dead. No, it's just because we made fun of you for being a pedophile who does a Japanese accent earlier. And you do that thing where you pull at your cornrows. What the fuck does that mean? I don't know how he got that gap in his teeth, but he managed.

I don't want... Do we restart? No. Holy shit. What the fuck is this? This is great. Fuck off. David, you just don't know that this is great because you're the one getting fucked on.

I'm always getting fucked on. Yeah, so you should be used to it at this point. It's mostly Cameron. What do you think is going to come be used to it at this point It's mostly Cameron See the thing is that it's mostly Cameron In real life it's mostly David on the podcast Which I think is Entirely my fault I think it's entirely

My fault that David is the one who gets fucked on The most on the podcast just because of the pedophilia Thing Go ahead You were going to say something I was going to say Because of the pedophilia thing. Go ahead, Ed. You were going to say something. I was going to say. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm just going to continue David's train of thought, which was me and him went to PAX. Thanks to the lovely folks at Screenwave.

No, do not mention their name after that. Please. No, go for it. After what? David, they fucking own this podcast. David, they approved our PAX announcement video. You think they care? You're right, actually.

That makes sense. We threatened the city of Boston and they approved it. Didn't you also imply that you did the Boston bombing? Boston Marathon bombing? Yes. Okay. There was a lot of threats in that video.

And they said, dude, this is funny. Come on, we'll get a stage ready for you. We had a fucking stage for a meet and greet. That was fucking crazy. Why don't you tell the lovely people You want to talk about that first meet and greet? Let's talk about the first meet and greet.

Because we had tech David is very smart shut don't start okay fine go ahead so david is very smart and when he was asked by screenwave hey when do you guys want to have your meet and greet we have so many slots open a drink do you mind i'm sorry i was trying to buy my business but i failed just just restart okay so david is very smart and when the screen people ask david when he was asked by the screen wave people when we wanted to have our meet and greet, David had the amazing idea. Let's have it on the very first day of PAX at noon or 2 p.m. It was 2 p.m. Or I forget.

The first day of PAX is a Thursday. I didn't think this through. Clearly. No one showed up. No, that is not true. Oh, somebody showed up. I somebody showed up sorry that's the story okay so we were sitting there i want to say it had 30 minutes no it was like 45 minutes it was literally like 15 minutes it was about 15 minutes before our meet and greet was gonna end i wanted

to kill myself and ed was just watching dazed watching a soul caliber six tournament that was happening on the other side and we were just waiting and then we're like man this is gonna make for a great podcast story when we tell people that nobody showed up but on cue beam of light shoots at the stairs and at the base of that light is a young man asking, are you guys the PST podcast? Me and David shot up from our seats. I was so happy. We are. I was so happy that somebody showed up.

I was just like, yes, I just got up. I was so happy. We are. Because at first I made sure he wasn't wearing a screen wave badge to avoid my disappointment. But he wasn't. He wasn't. So he said, to avoid my disappointment. But he wasn't. So he said, yes, we are from the PST podcast. And then he climbed up those stairs.

He went right in front of us. He paused and then he pointed at both of us and he went, I don't know who you are, but my sister loves you guys oh my god I felt

just your soul leave your body yeah pretty much I just I was like god please don't let the tears come out right now which orifice do you think your soul came out of fucking everywhere dude I was like, God, please don't let the tears come out right now. Which orifice do you think your soul came out of? Fucking everywhere, dude.

All of them at once. You were all clawed out of goddamn pores. You just had it on the inside and started spilling out like diarrhea at your ears. Yeah, pretty much. And then this guy was like, hey, but my sister loves you guys. So if I could take a picture to make her jealous that'd be sick and i mean me and david were desperate we said he said yes and we we took the picture did we also sign something for that guy i forget we signed we signed his guest book his like signature book considering we had 10 minutes to go and that encounter was pretty much

the camel that broke David's back. Wait. No. Go for it. Keep going. Yeah, sure. The camel that broke David's back. David is sitting down and he's telling me, Ed, I can't do this anymore. I gotta tell you something. And I go, what?

Ed, I am turtling so hard. I gotta take a huge shit. And I go, what? And I am turtling so hard. I gotta take a huge shit. And I go, dude, we're here. We literally got invited to have a meet and greet. You can't just leave. It's not even over. Just hold it in. You do not understand how close I was.

I was legit. I was so scared. I was going to shit my pants at the Screenwave media booth. Right in front. I was going to shit my pants at the Screenwave media booth right in front of 3-0-0-1-7 right in front of Justin Silverman David shit himself at a PAX meet and greet that's incredible

right in front of Vinny Vinesauce right in front of all these fucking people I was going to shit my pants I had to go. It didn't matter. So eventually he convinces me and I go, fine, I'll be the only one of the meet and greet because we're pretty convinced that not not. I mean, 10 minutes left. Who's going to show up?

So David runs off shit in his pants. He runs off to go to go poo. And I'm just waiting there. Five minutes left. I'm watching that SoCal tournament, which was botched, by the way. That shit was amateur hour. And then suddenly a woman shows up to my left. Like she didn't climb up to the stage.

She came up like behind me. And it was like a middle-aged woman. So I figured you're not a fan. And then she shows up and she slaps her hand on the desk. She came up like behind me. And it was like a middle-aged woman. So I figured, you're not a fan. And then she shows up and she slaps her hand on the desk and she goes, Do you work here? Please. And then, I mean, I start panicking.

So I just grab my Screenwave badge and I go, I'm with the Screenwave booth. I'm having a meeting. I'm sorry. And then she goes, what? And I go, Joe's over there. I just point at David's manager because at this point I'm just lost. I'm he's over there you can ask him he's actual screen wave so that and then that was it and then this the fucking meet and greet and and david wasn't even back yet i was the only asshole on the desk when this screen wave guy came up to me and he said hey you're done and i went oh i know

little did he know how much you knew that you were fucking done. And then David came back five minutes after it was over. He told me about his shit in intricate detail. I did not do that. Why would Ed lie about that, though? I believe him.

That's kind of like a weird thing to lie about. That is a weird thing to lie about. Considering the things that you've done, David, I think that's the least of your worries. What I've done? Describe this shit in intricate detail in Japanese. Let's talk about what you did then. Remember, there was the U.S. Army had a booth at PAX.

Whoa. I thought you were going to talk. Oh, this looks great. I mean, real quick quick since i mentioned joe can we talk about the first thing that i said to joe after what did you tell joe again mama oh you don't remember i remember i remember okay there you go so joe shows up okay yeah go ahead uh no you go ahead because i i don't i i i didn't hear you but you said it so joe is a super nice guy by the way i gotta preface this dude he he got us the exhibitor badges first of all which lets us get in an hour early at the convention center which allowed us to play final fantasy 7 without a queue yeah which was really amazing um and so we had to go get the exhibitor badges first which

he had so we were supposed to meet him at the hotel lobby and i've never seen what he looks like all i saw was his discord profile picture that's also the only joe you gotta change that no bad geez joe it looks weird it looks like he's just coming out of the shower stop talking shit about our manager he loves me i love him but anyway sick uh so you meet up with him and he goes hey i'm jona go hey i'm ed nice to meet you and he gives us the badges and he goes okay so this is the exhibitor badges. And then between the actual badge and the cord or whatever thing that goes around

your neck, there's a little circular screen wave symbol. And then he's like, oh, it's actually cool. If you turn it around, there's a button. And then when you click that button, it starts blinking like a blue light. And then I just look at it and I go, oh, so it's like a rape whistle.

What? What? I don't. In what way? I didn't hear. I don't know. But I didn't hear this. And because I was talking to Joe.

And I just thought you guys didn't think it was funny. Dude, I hope that he didn't hear that, because that was bad. I mean, he might hear it now, but hey, Joe. If Joe listens to the podcast, that would not faze him. I mean, that's why I thought it was weird that nobody laughed, because I thought it was funny. I was like, that was sad. Those following five minutes. We didn't hear you, I'm pretty sure.

Let's go back to the U.S. Army, though. Let's go back to what you did to me we went to the u.s army booth basically had this east like they were showing off their esports team right and they had a booth they had like specifically one part of their booth for uh fighting games and ed and i are pretty like big into fighting games and he wanted to actually play some tekken games right ed yeah but it's not like they're not like hosting a tournament no no it was like they're not like just to explain it you you go up you you you queue up to play against the fucking u.s army general

like this huge jack dude in a t-shirt he's massive it's like imagine if Donovan from Berserk ate Zangief. Like, that was like, no, legit. That guy was like, massive. Massive. But the way to get... Shut up. The fight stick just looked like a single keyboard key. Like, in his hand. It was so huge but the way you sign up to play the games is that you have to talk

to a u.s army recruiter ed and you have to have you have to like yeah you have to like sign up put your name and everything yeah your address whatever and i put the airbnb by the way did you yeah you're fucking dumb. I know. Anyways, anyways. And then when we get into the line, this is the next day because he, we, we,

he signed up one day ahead of time because we had to go do other shit. And then the next day we go there. And while we're in, while we're in queue for him to go play tech and against the guy, I just get a message from the U S army. I guy, I just get a message from the U.S. Army. I get a text message from the U.S. Army. Let me find it again. Oh, I know it by heart if you want me to just say it.

Oh, fucking go ahead, Eduardo. It's just a text from the U.S. Army on David's phone, and it says, hello, Eduardo. This is Sergeant Nagoon. I'm a U.S. Army recruiter. I got David drafted just so I could play a few rounds of tennis. I remember I got this message

and it was just so confusing. He was so mad. I was just staring at it and then I looked at him. I was like, Ed, why is your name there? And then he just said, The funniest part is, I just needed a US number.

And I was just like, what the fuck do you mean? You just gave him my Canadian number. And the funniest part is, like yesterday, I just kept asking him, like, are you sure you don't want to sign up? And David just made it a point to like, oh no, I'm like, ethically, I don't really want to sign up for this. And I still gave him his phone number.

I still get messages from the recruiter, by the way. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. They keep being like, hello, we would like a phone. My boy, Nagoon? Nagoon keeps messaging me. Sergeant Nagoon keeps being like, yo, dog dog let me tell you want you should probably go go see your local recruiter we would like to offer you a real life no round brown

oh my god yeah and all that for you to get destroyed at tekken. Oh, dude, he ate my ass. Not only that. I was so confident. The moment I sat down, I forgot everything. He became a ghost. He became a fucking ghost. I became a bot. Actually, like, such a bot that during one, at one point, he was getting, he was getting

a combo. He was, like, in the middle of a combo, like, a string, like, in the middle of a combo, like a string, in the middle of it, and he accidentally pressed the start button. I accidentally paused? The army dude just... I think you shit your pants straight up.

Oh no, I thought he was going to kill me. I thought you turtled a bit because you looked like you had fear in your eyes because he looked back at you and he looked so fucking pissed that you just stopped his combo. It was so weird. I mean, honestly, that wasn't even my fault. Let's think about it. Because I thought they'd at least have that shit on tournament mode because when you turn on tournament mode, you can't pause the game.

Why are you pressing start? I fucked my finger slip. Do you know how much I was sweating? Did you see how big that guy was? I was sitting next to him. Were you into it? I was just fucking terrified. Not only was I getting shit on, I was sitting next to a fucking wardrobe.

So yeah, that's how I got drafted. I can't overstate how big that fucking guy was. That guy fucking scares me to this day. We also um i mean besides pax oh should we talk about i mean we also had because that first meet and greet was such a bust oh yeah we got offered a second one on the on saturday last day oh sunday yeah and for that one people actually showed up thank god yeah because we were getting oh my god i'm so i'm sorry uh we we were getting we were getting stopped like at the convention uh like one guy just recognized david by voice yeah yeah so that's

when we realized man thursday kind of yeah so basically worst idea basically never doing meet and greets on thursdays ever again yeah. And then we had a second one. People actually showed up for that one. And one guy, I forget his name. Volte. Volte. He actually made custom art of us. Custom pins too.

Straight up he painted. And the pins was because somebody in his family owns a pin making shop. I'm butchering this story now. I don't remember. I don't super remember either, but I'm just, I was just super happy with it. And I have, I'm going to frame that.

That's a shout out to that. Yeah. Like I've never, like the pin shit. That's a first for me. That was crazy. Super sick. Shout out to Volte. Shout out to Volte. Yes uh and then what else did we do

besides the monster hunter festa oh should we talk about that the festa yeah let's talk about yeah dude let's talk about capcom's incompetence sure hey come on i can't be mad i can't be mad i can't be mad because it was actually good and i'm pretty sure it wasn't capcom's fault um yeah it was justin wong no it was not justin wong's fault it was fucking the bar's fault um because they didn't know how to handle it on the lead up for us flying out to pax there was also what do you call it? The Capcom announced that there was going to be a Monster Hunter Festa free entry to just

get in and you can watch some people doing tourneys and you can get some free merch and whatever. So we that shit would open at 8pm 21 over only. So quite couldn't even go. Which was super was a bummer yeah hell yeah because

like we were talking to you like the day before like oh yeah we got we got friday like completely set like we're gonna go to this monster hunter fest that's gonna be sick it was sick and then yeah now i kind of feel bad talking about how sick it was i mean i was doing it i'm pretty sure i was uh i was just hanging out with the boys that night so it wasn't a big deal yeah okay um but yeah so i was like and we can show up like 30 minutes early i kept insisting we got to show up an hour early and i was thinking that an hour early for a monster hunter event and it's at night no one's gonna be there dude bro the fucking queue when we got there an hour early was already massive

we could we by the time we were close enough that we could see like the start of the queue but behind us dude there were like yeah it was by the time the doors actually opened at 8 p.m. it went around the entire block yeah it's like you just forgot you were at a gamer con.

There's not going to be a line for a gamer event. That's what I kept telling you. Because it's not even... Because, fucking in my head, Monster Hunter's niche. And it's not even part of PAX itself. And it's 21 and over. Yeah, but it's after PAX. So, you know, how many actual grown-ups...

I mean, how many people under age have the means to travel to an event fuck shut up all right oh yeah true well i mean i'm an adult so like i mean you're under 21 are you yeah but you know what i mean though it's like this it's gonna lean more towards like that age than it will drafted into the military age not the crack open cold one age i can be drafted and drink anywhere but the U.S. Yeah. I can't be drafted anywhere. I can only be drafted. No, you can be drafted to fight for Korea.

Yeah, I'm just going to go fight for Canada real quick. I'm going to give a Portuguese army recruiter Quince numbers. I love so much that you're like, I've got to give him an American number. David. David, you know, the American. I could have just changed one of the numbers. You could have given a fake, no.

See, this is the thing, Ed, is that he doesn't have a fucking American number, so he's not from a fucking American area code. You could have given him any fake number. You don't just have to change one. No, but his is shaped like an American one. What does that mean? Because they were like, it so like you have your number and you have like the weird shit with the parenthesis and the three numbers

it goes like three three four like between the dashes like european ones are really weird like british it's like yeah okay but that doesn't change anything give him 10 random fucking digits you moron but it's way fucking funnier if you get his name in. That's what mad at me. I agree, but the thing is, Ed's like, I could have just changed one of the numbers. You don't have to base it on a real number, Ed. I don't know how your format is, so I just...

Write what you know. Write what you know, Avery. Please. That's writing 101. Oh, you memorized his number? That's adorable. I did. No, it was on my phone. Wow, fucking fake-ass bitch. He is a fake his number? That's adorable. I did. No, it was on my phone. Uh-oh. Wow, fucking fake-ass bitch. He is a fake-ass bitch for doing that.

Are you kidding me? He's a real one for putting in your number, but he's fake for not remembering it. Yeah, I hooked you up with Nagoon. Have you seen him? He's huge. I've not seen Nagoon. I don't know who Nagoon is. Me neither. Nagoon is like this entity just following me everywhere now. Nagoon is like this entity just following me everywhere

now. Nagoon is just like a fucking phone operator. He's an eldritch beast. He's an eldritch beast that wants me to join the army. Nagoon is a metaphor for war. Yeah. He's got a means of Fina. He didn't play.

Nagoon was not there. was i saying okay so we got there at 7 p.m it was me david and it was the two uh screen wave homies yeah adam and joe and i don't know if you guys are familiar with boston knights but they are fucking freezing like i am talking bad my fingers looked like sausages yeah they were so like they were grown out and i could not stop shivering the only thing i could feel was my ass cheeks that was the only source of warmth like it was really bad just how fucking cold it was outside and if you think we have it bad there was a fucking that girl ada wong yeah there was an ada wong a cosplayer at the queue who was like the red dress imagine being in a silk red dress red dress nothing else just legs exposed arms exposed because dude she must have been dying because she was she was like on the other side of the block yeah she showed up like

super late yeah let's go into the bad part the worst part of that is that capcom actually i don't know i don't know if it's capcom honestly it was probably not cap whoever organized the festa yeah it was probably because there was a gaming event before this one so they only started letting people in like an hour later. Because it was supposed to be doors open at 8 p.m. Supposed to be an hour later. But the doors only open at 9 p.m. So we stood out in the cold for two hours, by the way.

That's how my fingers became like Palpatine. Yeah. And we were just kind of hanging out, talking, and it was okay for the most part. We were kind of losing our shit. When there was like an hour left, we were going insane. We were, like, negotiating on eating, like, stray animals that just crossed us on the queue. Oh, right. I remember

now. You're right. I just kept looking at stray cats going, I'm gonna fucking eat them. At one point, we were, like, we were in front of a convenience store, and at one point, we just start hearing a commotion like, right in front of us. Yeah, at one point we just start hearing a commotion like right in front of us yeah like a shitload of cheering so much cheering like oh he's about to do it he's about to do it and then they there was a guy shout casting another guy buying a coffee in the

convenience store in the queue there was just a group of like 10 dudes just like cheering on screaming this guy in the convenience store buying a coffee and when he got out everybody went yeah and the guy rushed to the queue and all of the coffee in the middle of the group and all of them huddled around it for a while they all just used it like a fucking bonfire they were all so hyped about it it was that's the most hipster version of a bonfire I've ever heard. Hipsters

gathering around a fucking coffee for warmth at night. A fucking 7-Eleven coffee, dude. They were all just putting their hands over it for warmth. They all have those like fucked frayed fingerless gloves that all homeless people in movies have. Except they're all flat.

Some did. Some actually did though. So that's when we finally got in into the, it was around like 20 minutes after the coffee incident we finally got into the festa and entry was free. We were like okay, that was to be expected. And then they give us

all like a bag full of just full of shit load of merch really good merch like stupid i got a poster me and uh me and adam got a poster people who had like a special coin in their shit got a uh assigned you could trade it in for a yeah it was like a signed poster uh by the dev team and then you also got like a pin and a fucking socks dude the socks are shaped like the pig yeah they're sick they're really nice just everything inside the event was just stupid nice but the best and then the event itself was sick and then wait wait for i'm building up okay bro we're at the event and then we're watching we missed one of the games because there was like an actual like championship going on where they just like have like teams of two speed runners compete to see who gets the best

time super hype and then extremely and then we were watching the second to last game and then we all went okay we're starving let's go get some food food was also free by the way it was fucking delicious like oh my god really amazing amazing food. They had like these, these like two giant butchers just set up like a shitload of meat on a table. And they literally call it the carving table. And they were just like slice up like slices. And then you had like fucking five kinds of gravy that you could mix in for free. And I think we could get a side of sweet potato.

Yeah. Sweet potatoes, salad. Yeah. There was also pizza. the pizza was really good everything mainly a shitload of meat yeah um and then we're watching the thing and then tournament ends they make a couple announcements for the next updates we're like all right sick and then they go all right the bar is now open go go get drunk and we we go, all right, cool. So since Joe paid for the Uber,

I told him, okay, I'll buy the first round of drinks. Yeah, we'll start buying rounds to pay back the Uber. So we go to the bar. I get four rum and Cokes. And then they bring them back. I take my card out. And then the lady just stops me. Don't worry, sir.

It's an open bar. I stood there, I want to say, for at least 15 seconds just looking at her. And then looking back at my card. And then I actually went, are you sure? Are you sure it's an open bar? And she went, oh, yeah, no, it's open till 11 p.m. Um, okay. And then I just turned back around and I go, hey, it's an open bar.

Pretty much everyone else has the same reaction. Um, I ended up having eight rum and cokes. I had 11. I was almost blackout. I was, I've never, I haven't been that drunk since college. Dude, Joe got so hammered. It was the funniest shit.

He just started doing that thing. I think this is like the Zoomer version of getting pictures of your grandkids is taking your phone out. He got pictures of his girlfriend and he just like asked us to like crowd around the phone and he just go, look how fucking hot she is. Look how hot my girlfriend is. It was cute, though. He was like, he legit loves his girlfriend so much, dude. And then we all had to be polite.

And like, because how do you compliment a man's girlfriend without making it weird? So I just went, yeah yeah she's attractive i'm gay and he knows i'm gay so i was just like hell yeah oh yeah you're safe hell yeah fist bump bro nice one okay that might have been awkward um what else do we do we mostly just got fucking hammered and like we didn't even finish our drinks we would just like assign someone to stay at our table and then we'd leave our drinks behind and we'd go get more. Because I knew the bar was eventually closing

at like 11 p.m. At one point I had like three. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I just had three drinks. That party was sick, but I'm going to be real with you, Ed. I don't remember half of it. Oh, I remember a lot of it.

And then we met with a bunch of people that are in the content creating community for monster hunter two of them mainly that were there as the uh commentators one of them was hernie yeah and the other one was chris chris hernie i already knew prior to hernie that is not chris yeah i already knew him prior to the event and i just saw him he was like oh hey whatever and then we just caught up and then i told him dude that queue outside is fucking killer we stood out for like two hours and then he said something that broke my heart because i told i told you i told you i kept telling you he said

why didn't you just text me i could have gotten you in early and i went aha i kept i didn't know yeah david david kept yelling at me but i didn't want to be weird i didn't want to start pulling and I went, I kept telling him to do that too. Yeah, David kept yelling at me, but I didn't want to be weird. I didn't want to start pulling favors. Like, hey, we're outside. Get the bouncer to let me in. I get that as well, though. I get that.

But yeah, just sucks. For the future, I guess, if they make this a yearly thing, now we know. And then, Chris, on the other hand he's german so i don't know why i pointed that out because it has nothing to do with what i'm about to say nothing to do yeah he's german period david go on passing it to you so i i he's a dude i fucking i fucking love chris i like we were just talking having a good time like we started dancing because it turned into a nightclub and then at one point i was

like uh the drinks start get like beat becoming like you have to pay and we were also hanging out after 11 after 11 the bar was still like. It's still working, but you have to pay. And we were hanging out with Chris, the Screenwave guys, and one of the winners of the tournament. The actual grand winner was hanging out with us. The guy that won and his fiance. Yeah. So I just ask everybody, like, hey, what drinks do you want? And then everybody gives me their orders.

And then I go to Chris and and i'm like hey you want anything i'm buying and then he i thought he was going to cry he was he was he was so happy he was just like you want to buy me a drink and i was like yeah dude we're partying and he just tells me like give me something with ginger i get the drinks i go back to him i give him the drink and legit like he was like he takes the drink looks at the drink looks at me looks back at the drink looks at me and he just says this is so nice thank you thank you and i was i was so happy because that reaction is so genuine. He was so wasted.

He was so wasted. It was beautiful. But yeah, we also hung out with the guy that won that championship, by the way. He's like a super known speed runner for the game and he's really good at it. Yeah. But dude, it's so unfair.

He's so good looking what the fuck yeah i don't know maybe i can pull up a picture of him because no wait no i can't he doesn't have a twitter shit but dude you have no idea his face he's got like i forget where he's from but i'm pretty sure the u.s oh no he's from the u.s but he's like half puerto rican yeah something i'm pretty sure he said he was half Puerto Rican. Yeah. Yeah. But his face, that, did you see that jawline, David? Yeah, dude. Oh my God. That jawline.

That was ridiculous. It was like fucking carved. It was like cut like a diamond. Yeah, exactly. And then just, and then he was jacked. Like it's not fair. He was fucking jacked as shit. And he was just like talking shit about motherfuckers.

And he didn't know how to dress well. He had like fucking like really nice clothes and a scarf and a... And we all look like fucking nerds next to him. Take notes, Troy Baker, you fucking asshole. We're just all a bunch of losers. How many people are going to get that

ad? There's some DSP fans in the audience. Yeah, that was Monster Hunter Festa. The rest, I don't remember. I think we were at a pizzeria at one point, but I was kind of like half blacking out. No, I was just, I was talking constantly. I don't remember what I was talking about,

but I remember just whoever was next to me, I was talking their ear off, and I'm sorry, because I don't remember what I was talking about. Cause I feel like, cause I was just nerding out on so many like monster hunter people next to me. I just, I don't know. I don't know what I was saying.

I think you were talking to Chris. Mostly. Yes. Um, but also the funniest part was talking to TSC. And I think like Joe asked him like, Hey, so after you won the tournament,

like, what are you going to do now? You're going to keep practicing. And then TSC just went, think like. Joe asked him like. Hey so after you won the tournament. Like what are you going to do now? Are you going to keep practicing? And then TSC just went. Oh no I quit the game. I just wanted to show up at this tournament. Win and then not play it ever again. So he's done.

He is such a fucking Chad dude. It's not fair bro. But yeah. That was Monster Hunter Festa. Very fun. But besides that. the main event, which is one of the main reasons we wanted to have Quiet On, was when we went to... Was that your place or your manager's place? That was my manager Zach's place.

And he was staying with a bunch of Facebook streamers, right? Yep. We were at the Facebook streamer party. That was the day I found out Facebook streaming is a thing. Yeah I honestly didn't even know that was a thing either. Yeah and that was basically like my group for the weekend and then like as well as

like you two and Diesel and his girlfriend April but basically like every night that's like where I'd end up. And I think you guys, most of the nights. Yeah.

Most nights we ended up there as well. Yeah. With you guys. It was a good time. Yeah. Fucking with fucking Garrett grabbing my leg constantly. You're not dude. It was like my thigh had a magnet.

You just constantly fucking reaching for it. So remember when... You remember that certain picture that you said you thought Hyojin got off of some subreddit? No. How do you forget that? I mean, I'm kind of desensitized. I'm sure if you jog my memory. Check your DMs.

Oh, wait. I remember. not a desensitized i'm sure if you jog my memory check your dms oh wait yeah we're trying to tell that story oh okay so it's your it's your property are you so um we go to that guy's place go on so okay so we're at Zach's place we're all pretty buzzed yeah except for me because I don't drink ever never I was exceptionally drunk yes you were but like so we're all sat around this fucking like big ass table and like exchanging

stories and whatnot but like at one point it gets to the part some guy had like two threesomes I was so pissed two no I don't know if we should say who because we're not gonna say no that's why i'm not saying the name i'm saying people had two threesomes oh thank you so i was so mad they were just like casually dropping like yeah no my second threesome was you know and i was like second but uh so the like the conversation's just like you know so the, like, the conversation's just, like,

you know, they're, like, all over the place, like, talking about, like, random sex shit. And eventually, like, we get to, like, talking about, like, really, like, cursed pictures of, like, naked people. I think I'm the one that brings it up. Oh. Yeah. I think I brought it up. Sounds about right. And then I talk like, fucking... So there was

this one picture Hyojin sent me of, like, some dude's balls on a Switch. Like, it was a Snapchat caption. so there was this one picture Hyojin sent me of like some dudes balls on a switch like it was a snatch anybody wanna play smash and that was an image I had sent I had sent that image to like several

group chats ones that I'm pretty sure like the people in the room like were in and it turns out those were Ed's balls. Like the moment Quint said. Because I was pretty blessed. And Quint was like, oh yeah, dude. You kept sending me this picture.

Just some nuts on a switch. And I was like, that sounds so familiar. And then you just tell Quint, I'm pretty sure those are my balls yeah and then it turns out bryce had seen your balls before because i sent him that image oh i've sent that picture to everybody everybody around everybody saw it because i just went around i was like have you seen that picture yeah dude you see my balls they all said yes and just went, nice to meet you. Yeah, no, that image, I feel like,

has expanded well beyond me originally sharing it. I'm just like a bunch of people. Dude, so many people have seen your balls. At least we have a thumbnail. Just the switch image with the balls kind of censored. I'll have to find it.

Both balls are demonetized. Yeah, post it and and guess I have it somewhere we all have it I have the can we all post it once that barrier was broken I just said fuck it and I just started teaching people the art

the grandpa one is one of the funniest fucking things that's the one so who's getting it the grandpa one is one of the funniest fucking things. That's the one. So who's getting, you put it in guys. Yeah, I see it. They're like,

they're quality testicles. Like if you're honestly like she, he, I was just going to love those. Like the, I don't know. They look balanced. Like there's not too much weight in one don't know they look balanced like there's not

too much weight in one of the other it looks like a very like evenly distributed nut sack but yeah and then the way you laid it on the switch like i don't know i just went full and i just started showing everyone like all the different pictures i've done so here's another one that's my that's the grandpa one you can't show any of these why oh no that's the only one i'm posting but yeah i just went with my phone i just went like the snapchat folder of my phone i started showing everyone like okay this is exhibit number three notice how i caught it under the shadow i just started teaching people people about the comedic timing of where to place your balls.

It's an art form. It's an art form to have your balls just there. Slightly off frame. Yeah. The Switch one's really nice because the caption's like a double entendre. Hey!

Who's getting on the stick and also to also to like play smash which is also really nice because if you pay close attention you can see the reflection of my shaft in the switch screen oh you can nice detail oh now i can't use this as a thumbnail i'm noticing like the position of your hand you had to put this in to like take the picture and it's kind of ruining the atmosphere, honestly. Yeah, I should have done it when it was like... The fucking glare ruined it. I'm sorry. No, that's fine.

It's still a funny image. I'm still going to keep sending this to people. Yeah, thank you. Same. The legend of your ball sack will live on. I'm going to have to watermark it at this point. You're going to start watermarking your goddamn... It's going to start getting mad like that fucking crazy diamond giphy man why'd you bring that up no i'm what is that

no man okay so does anybody know it's the gif fucking people use on twitter when there's like a jojo announcement or something and it's that gif of crazy diamond like fucking slapping the big the big blue nut button no oh yeah i saw that crazy diamond nut button um fuck they're all so compressed i'm so mad oh this one's actually decent this gif i put it in guests dude i made that i'm so mad i made that and i'm so mad i made made that and I'm so mad. I made that in like fucking 2014. No, part four wasn't even out. That's impossible. 2016. I hand animated that and DP stole it. Fucking hacks.

Make Purple Haze feedback, you hacks. Oh, god damn it. I'm not one of those people. I'm sorry. I think that was our Pax experience. Just a lot of people saw my balls. Just people I had never met. The most awkward part was like I had never met them. And like two hours into just getting to know them and slowly breaking the ice,

I suddenly realized they've all seen my balls. Everybody have met you already. Yeah. I think that was really our first time talking properly. Yeah, that was actually the first night as well. Yeah, that was the first time I met David. But even me and Ed,

we'd spoken on Discord calls before, but that was the first long form convo I'd actually had with him. And then I found out that the Switch balls i'd been sending everybody were his you know what and i kind of regret it never meet your heroes that's no that's the title of the episode never meet your heroes yeah that's really good there we go that was quick oh my god that's so good um

I can't think of anything else of no that we should talk about do you have a story about Pax did I even go wait yeah I did you made a video there oh yeah i did you did you made a video there oh yeah no uh did you i'm eyes on that for a bit but you did you guys tell the bit where like uh david strangled me oh yeah i did strangle you oh yeah right so you were gonna get jumped we were

gonna get we were gonna i was gonna get jumped he was he was safe i was gonna die wait why were you gonna die because i was jumping you because he was choking was safe i was gonna die wait why were you gonna die because i was jumping you because he was choking oh right yeah no like so you weren't gonna be safe i was gonna die so we were i was doing like a floor bit for like a video um like i was on the floor just asking uh people if james charles is uh cock was circumcised or not but i asked david as like a scripted bit and then he just fucking like just starts choking me out and stealing my whoa whoa wait wait wait we we planned this before yeah like i'm saying i'm saying we planned this i'm saying it didn't go into like a homicide

okay okay sorry i didn't hear that i thought you just said like i just my bad maybe i didn't i just fucking turned to switch and went fucking... And David just started choking me for some reason. No, no, like, ironically, though, he just started, like, choking me out and shit, and he steals my pass, and I'm screaming the whole damn time, and so is he. And then he runs off, like, for a while. Like, he doesn't, like, just run, turn around after the bit's done. No, I just run off.

He goes all the way down the corner and turns the corner, and I swear to God, every single, like, security guard in the area was just staring him down. But they saw that I wasn't too pressed. Yeah, and Bryce was like right next to us. And he looked so shocked. And he was like, yo, you guys need to chill. And then we were just like, why? And we turn around.

He just like points at the security guards and they're all like they're all like you probably shouldn't have done it next to the u.s army booth but you know what he was wrong the bit was worth it the bit was worth it was worth it it was a good bit you're about to get your ass beat by nagoon but you didn't nagoon's gonna come bro that sounds bad gonna pull out a fucking butterfly knife so um patron questions yeah oh oh yeah we do those yeah we do those yeah so if you if you are a five dollar and above to your donator you can ask your questions for this part of the podcast where we answer fucking questions and hypotheticals. I still find it strange that we explain what Patreon questions is. It's in the name.

I feel like the only part we should keep mentioning is specifically which tier can do this. I feel like everything else is redundant. Yeah, new viewers need to know which big word for the day. Which tier they need to donate to to get recognized by Strange on the internet.

If you click to it, you'll see it. Whatever. Well, most people can't read, okay, Avery? Just because you can read. Just because you can read. Just because you can fucking read. Oh my god!

We have an audience with incredibly big brains. We cultivate audiences who only know the finest of Agamemnon's works. Oh my god. Seth Hilde asks meme of the decade.

Shut the fuck up, Seth. It's Doge. It's Doge. It's Doge. It's Doge. No, it's Doge. It's press F. It is not press F.

What the fuck are you talking about? Press F has remained static in this game for the entirety of its existence. Doge is the only meme that has successfully reinvented itself time and time again to the modern era. It's been around longer than press F. God fucking damn. Fucking imagine saying press F

to pay respect to the meme. Imagine quite. God fucking damn it. How do you co-host with these losers I don't fucking know it kills me inside what's the next question that's like the same tier though that's the same tier as David saying press F

is the fucking meme of the decade let's change questions I'm angry I didn't think I'd get angry I thought everyone would know it was Doge don't fucking step to me dog Ben Derrick asked Cameron is my favorite guest Any idea when he'll be back?

First of all Cameron's not a guest I'm surprised Cameron is supposed to be Permanent member Cameron's one of the original four hosts Yeah actually Cameron was supposed to be on this episode But then he got shot

or something I don't remember what happened to him uh something about somebody getting deported oh yeah it was a deportation yeah incredibly unfortunate Leo Campbell asks weirdest nightmare you ever had not scariest just weirdest

and I have mine this is one that has traumatized me since i was five years old jesus and it's um i fall asleep you know and then the dream starts and i'm tied to a pole in my kitchen uh and then i this was back when i lived in an apartment building with my mom and my sister so the kitchen had like open doors and it stared directly into my living room. So I managed to gaze into the living room where I could see a cow. Not like

an anthropomorphic cow, like human body cow head, like a cow was just sitting on my couch watching TV. And I'm pretty sure she was watching Alice in Wonderland. And I was like, that's weird. And then another cow sneaks up in front of me and she starts tickling the shit out of me

and I start screaming and I wake up wow that's like a fetish thing dude I don't know that sounds like something that happened in your formative years no what the fuck does that mean formative years

what do you mean I just said they're not anthro they're fucking cow people The fuck does that mean? What does that mean? Formative years? What do you mean? What does that mean? What do you mean what is formative years? I just said they're not anthro. They're fucking cow people. Yeah, you're a freak. The cows. I know. You're a freak, Ed.

That's what I'm saying. You want to fuck actual cows and not even anthropomorphic ones? That's pretty fucked, dude. We're your champ. That's way more fucky, bro. I literally no sexual tension was in this dream. Literally no sexual tension? Like the fucking... No sexual tension. The sex I had in the dream was in this dream. Literally no sexual tension? Like the fucking...

No sexual tension with the cow in my dream. Entirely separate. I once had a nightmare that I was back at my... The house my mom moved to when my parents first got divorced. And I was in a wheelchair and my entire family had been replaced by velociraptors but every time they bit me I just teleported to a different part of the house I'm pretty sure that's a left 4 dead mod I think this dream predates left 4 dead though or at least me playing it you should sue valve left 4 dead's pretty old though it. It's like 2001? Yeah. No. What? No.

What? If anything, it's 2006, right? Wasn't it like one of the first Xbox 360 games? At least that I remember. Yeah. I think it was 2008 or something. Maybe. You guys are way off, Mark.

It's 2008. I was right. Yeah. David, it's your turn. I don't remember. I just remember the monkey dream, but I already talked about it in another episode. Just the monkey king that was really, really upset at me and pointing and laughing. And I cried. That's all I remember.

That definitely happened in your formative years. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's kind of your essenceative years. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I was kind of your essence. I was I was so young. I remember I woke up crying. I must have been like fucking four. Right. I was just at the beginning of what me, bitch.

He was pointing at me. OK, what is this podcast? If not several monkey kings pointing and laughing at David. Oh, that's so true. I cried and I remember. Wait, what's your weird dream? Mine? It's less of like a specific dream

or like something that happens in it, but it's always like when I have a dream where my reaction is total detachment, like things that I know would usually scare me or elicit a reaction that would make me wake up because I'm shitting my pants. The weirdest ones are where I just have total apathy to it. It feels weird looking back on it.

That shit kind of makes me weary after it's all over. Like weary as in the emoji weary? Or like the actual definition? The actual definition of weary, like what the the fuck because i was thinking like weary like you know like this one oh yeah yeah okay i i just this one's not mine but it's a dream story about my brother so uh my little brother up until like high school was terrified of the washing machine because every single night every i'm not kidding every single night he had a nightmare that there was an evil blue orb that lived in the

washing machine that was going to come and get him what an idiot stupid it was it i have never been able to parse what the that means evil Yeah, evil blue orb that lives in the washing machine and it's going to come and get him. That's it. That's the entire explanation. Because every time I would ask him about it, that's pretty much the entire thing. I never had recurring dreams. It was always just

one-offs. For several years, my little brother was terrified of the fucking washing machine because he knew he knew what was happening he thought that's what was making the noise when the washing machine was on fucking clothes my brother's an idiot no he's not but uh uh anyways travis vapes, I know the general hatred for Ruby among the PST crew is universal, but what about the music? It's dog shit.

It's not great. What? Have you listened to it? Yeah, it's awful. No, I'm asking the guy who asked the question. I know, I know. I'm agreeing with you. Ed, I'm agreeing with you. The thing is that what I don't understand is Ruby fans give like fucking glowing praise to the music

and even people are like Ruby's bad but how about that music and I've never understood it because it's so bad. I love listening to a little girl straining for three minutes. She can't she's not a little girl anymore and she still does that I mean she's not a little girl anymore but the thing is just like

she tries to hit notes and she can't hit so it just sounds kind of weird it feels like they're just like she tries to hit notes and she can't hit so it just sounds kind of weird it feels like they're just like it feels like there's just like two they just make her do the take until she actually hits it and then when she does hit it it's weird because yeah okay i don't know what's weird about it is that every once in a while, she'll sing a little bit within her actual fucking vocal range and it's fine. It sounds all right. Yeah. But the thing is,

is that they fucking 99% of the time, all of the fucking notes are completely out of her range and she's screeching and it sounds awful. And the instrumentals are just butt rock. It's awful. Ruby Ruby's music is what if the music and Sonic, the hedgehog thought it was you know not in sonic the hedgehog it's just it's it's just like edgier sonic the hedgehog music which

is saying something shadow the hedgehog music shadow the hedgehog music yeah don't you don't like that dog don't you i am all of me is not on the same level as this will be the day you're waiting for the thing is is that Sonic music is good because it knows what it is it's not trying to be anything else and that's why it's great

Sonic music rules just for the record if you disagree you're wrong it's the music for a fan level for Shadow the Hedgehog. A fan level? That they made with the fucking Sonic Adventure 2 engine. Grim Eclipse feels like it's a fan level for Shadow the Hedgehog.

Oh, God. Do you want a last one? I'm trying to find one. Do you want to choose one? Oh, yeah. Go for it. I'm not going to say the it's from Leo Campbell.

I'm not going to say the word before David because it sounds too much like a different word, but it's the start of negative. Negative David tracks you down and starts picking you off. How do you defend yourself? You're weirdly defensive about that. What was that? Is there a video

that's going to resurface soon? Oh, I... Oh... I can say Negadavid is quite a coward. Negadavid drags you down and starts picking you off. How do you defend yourselves? I cover

myself in... We should probably explain who Negadavidid is he's from uh he's from another another episode story i basically we basically learned that there's a guy who looks exactly like david he looks exactly like me has the same has the same name as me except he has a scar and i got i i got stopped at the airport because I looked exactly like him and they thought I was him, but I'm not. Because he's a wanted criminal? Yeah, the other guy's a wanted criminal. I cover myself in Sora amiibos.

That's the worst thing you can do. That is how you would defend yourself against regular David, though. Yeah, this is the opposite of David. Oh, okay. I start singing BlazBlue music which bursts his eardrums. I play the Ruby soundtrack, which accomplishes the same

thing. I don't know. I don't really have an answer to this because I've spent all the time I have around David just intentionally ignoring him, so I have learned nothing about him. We all do that. Yeah, it's fine. That's why all that we've gone to is Kingdom Hearts and BlazBlue. I feel kind of bad for

curb stomping you, because I'm not part of this group, but I feel like it's kind of an infectious disease that I need to be spreading. It's fine. It's fine. You know how last of us Wait till you meet Cameron off-air. What?

I'm amazed Cameron is still alive With how we treat him off the air I'm disappointed that he's still alive Thank you Someone said it God Cameron Why are you still around? I know you listen No he doesn't

Only episodes he's on Yeah I mean I do that too let's be real you're a narcissist I want to listen back to myself and be like oh wow David really killed it in here nice job David

I mostly just listen back to it to make sure he censored all the times I said the names of ex-girlfriends yeah which he doesn't. Which he doesn't. Yeah, no, he doesn't. He doesn't, for some reason, it doesn't clock for him that he should censor those. It's a mistake.

You've literally defended not censoring them, though. I'm pretty sure that was on an episode of the podcast that you did that. No, I didn't. Yeah, this one. No, I didn't. When did I do that? What the fuck?

Okay, we're stalling Clyde's answer. I'm so sorry i'm so sorry sorry go on i was just i was making a joke like about like how it's like the last of us fungus you know how like the fungus that's based off of takes control of an ant and then puts it on the highest point it can and makes it explode so it infects the rest of the colony right yes i feel like making fun of david and i guess cameron do it agree is like that i am compelled by the memetic disease to just spread hatred of you as far as i possibly can at risk of my own career jesus you're taking it further than me this isn't a joke anymore i mean it's not i it's not under my control like i'm being compelled to do this by a greater force than i by the god hand uh the disease itself it's slowly taking over my body as a virus does it's just a mental disease you

know you cannot change the currents of causality cameron will be late to the podcast camera was on time last time we recorded perilous yeah he's been on time a lot we still make fun of him though yeah just funny i mean that's better when we that's because he's on time a lot because we are relentless the number of times that he hasn't been on time versus the numbers the number of times that he's been on time just like outweigh by so much. What's fucked up is that in season one when he had to be on every episode, he was on time every fucking time. The problem is we gave him just a little bit

of leeway and he just fucking ran with it. You give an inch, they take a mile. Exactly. God. They sure fucking do. They use metric though, fucking New Zealanders. You use metric. You're in Belgium, right? Does it? No. They would censor that. zealanders you use metric you're in belgium right does it no what is belgium to ed if not next girlfriend

oh my god. Jeff Smith, Manuel Martinez, Marcos Sotelo, Rad Jackal, Rison looking fresh dough, Ryan Rankin, Seawolf812, Skye, SpookyGhost, Teague, TheNoNinja, Travis Vapes, Tyler Collins, Unarmed Toaster, and William Oliver. Thanks so much for the support and we'll see you next time.