Please Stop Talking - Plankstalked by Pirates | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

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Oh, just a couple of boys. Dude, I'm just fucking fingering my eyes. They're so fucking... You could just stop a fingering. I'm interested. Tell me more. Fingering my eyes? Well, I had like...

They were like ticklish a little bit. You know when they're itchy? Itchy, but like in a funny way, way that makes you kind of feel weird. So I just put my fingers in there, my dirty, fucking crusty mushroomy fingers. And I just kind of, you know, wiggle them around until I feel better. That's awesome.

Awesome, dude. That was such a great prompt. Grock, can you give you a better one? No, you can't talk to Grock right now. Hey, it's me, Gronk. Why don't you put your finger in your eyes? There we go. Thank you, Gronkowski. Whoa, that's the wrong one. Grank, is this real? I don't know, probably.

Grank, why is your belly so data center shaped? What's that Maltov Grocktail you have in your hands? Hey, it ain't nothing to worry about. I like this. I like this New Yorker character you've invented based off of Robert Grankowski, a famous football guy. Who is not from New York? Robert. That's his name. Rob, Rob Gruncow, yeah.

Rob gronkowski. I guess his name is Rob. It's Rob Robertson. Welcome to the Thodcast. Robinson? Oh. Rob Robertson, NFL. Rob Robertson.

We're talking about Rob Grunkowski. No, I was talking about the former Baltimore Ravens foolback. Can I say about Grunkowski? I got so fucking mad finding out that this is years ago when they had a special Gronk monster and I went into the fucking Walmart and I saw Gronk Monster. And I got so excited because I thought it was like, I, I, I, I got so excited. I'm like Chad GPT. I'm obsessed with goblins. So I thought it was a goblin drink.

Wasn't a goblin drink. You're talking about monster energy drink. I got so fun. I was like, they had the grogster. Dude, they have the fucking gronkster. He's right here. He was nine foot tall. They have the whole lineup of gronks.

They've got baby gronk going into gronk into monster gronk. It's like a football monster like him, the movie. This is like that tweet from years ago where the person was talking about their friend and they were like, they didn't know who gronk was. and they thought that they invented a guy named Gronk to sell like Duncan drinks. It's a really good name. They were just like posters

that just said like Gronk drinks him and he's got energy and he had the new drinks that they were selling. If you didn't show me Gromk, I would assume he had green skin and bulging muscles and I would drink what Grunk told me to. But then I'm told he's a fucking, he's just a white guy football player.

I don't give a shit. With bulging muscles. I mean, you were pretty close. He's so much more than that, Brendan. He's not green though. They've got to make Gronk green. When will he be green? When he replaces Jason

Mamoa to play Blanca and Street Fighter 2 in the movie. Call him Gronka. He should be. When's his acting career starting? Because I don't think he's even started. He should.

He would be great. You have not seen him act, have you? Marshawn Lich was in that movie with Qihou Kwan. Marshaun Lynch is in a lot of shit, though. Grankowski was in wrestling. He had a WrestleMania match. He did.

He was in, you know what? He was in, actually. Marshaun Lynch was in bottoms, and that's a great movie. Is it about Pan? No, it's about being the bottom of the most unpopular people in high school. I don't know what that means. That was popular in high school.

I'm sorry. Yeah, the fuck. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Reminder, I was voted most likely to become famous in my high school and I dated the head cheerleaders. So you need to back the fuck up. They need to meet cheerleader. Yeah, well, I dated the fucking inside of my locker. Did you put yourself there?

Did somebody else? Yeah, no, I would go inside on my own. Here's groncomoli. I've never seen groncomoli. These are avocados with gronk's face on them. Oh, gronkomoli. Always a good bowl. They're granicados.

This is the gronk hour, truly. We're in the darkest of days. We're in the gronk hour. I love the gronk hour. What happened? Why are we talking about fucking gronk? Our first four-hour podcast episode all about gronk. I don't even give a shit about football.

I am anti-football, but I do love the name gronk. Welcome to the gronk cast. Anti-foot, why the fuck are you, why the fuck are you anti-football? Huh, me? I fucking hate football. I hate it with every cell in my body, but I respect my friend's interests, even though I hated. I know I'm surrounded by football chads right now. Oh yeah, we're all, you're going into locker, stupid. I'm also fine talking about football. I just, I would be remiss to not admit that I fucking hate it. What's everybody's favorite thing that Shaq has endorsed? I really hate it when he's next to the general. His shoes? Name, name, name any product and he probably has a brand. Uh, Shaquille O'Neal, Epson, printers, he's into the general.

The best product that Shaquille O'Neal sells is he has a really cool line of shoes that he sells exclusively at Walmart that are decently enough made made for kids. So there's the Shaq shoes. Oh, that's nice. And so kids can have name brand basketball shoes for an affordable price so they don't get made fun of for having no name shoe. That's kind of nice. I don't, I don't hate that. He also ate Kevin Hart at the roast of Kevin Hart. Mm-hmm.

Swallowed him, one bite. He ate him in one big bite. Went up, went up, grabbed him, ate him in one of him. bike. Shack said it's four time. Then he ate Kevin Hart and one big bite. To be fair, Kevin Hart is tiny. Sorry, was tiny. Ten, what is your favorite shack product? I have a Shaq computer chair. That they sell it off his depot. Can I not lie to you? Dude, I have, I have 10 pairs of shack underwear and I have three shack sweaters. Shackerware? No, Billy, it is true. I'm sitting, I'm sitting in a Shaquille O'Neal branded computer chair right now. Is it good? Will you send me a link to

bad. It's okay. I just needed a chair for a big boy. Yeah, that's that's the thing. If you're like a big dude, you probably own like one piece of fucking shack anything because I know that the winter coat that Boo has is shack brand big boy. He make everything look so small. It does. Every time the shack underwear goes on sale, my wife buys me like seven pairs of it. I, I blow the ass out on them, but they're really comfy underwear. Biches be farted so hard to make a big hole. You shack your pants? I do shack my pants a little Kmart reference remember that one Remember the golden oldie ship your pants? Did not save Kmart.

They still died. Yeah. And now you can't ship your pants. That's one of the only places I've ever been to that was a fucking supermarket in the U.S. too. I don't know why. Kmart? Wasn't it a supermarket?

It's kind of a general market like a superstore. It was like a Walmart. Yeah, yeah. It was like a Walmart, but like Kmart. Yeah. Ship your pants ran the playground back in my day. Used to go to the Kmart and hide in the slacks. I just remember going there as a kid and the entire time my mom and dad were like,

this place is amazing. It has everything. Even though it was literally the same as a Walmart that we have here. I don't know why they were obsessed with it. Couldn't ship your pants at a Walmart. Yeah. Could not shit. I mean,

that is so fucking not true, dude. You could go in there and shit your pants right and ship your pants right now. Who's your number one celebrity that like their skull is going to open up and they're going to look like the Resident Evil four zombies? because I've been thinking about Conan O'Brien, and I've been thinking, like, one day I think his face is going to open up and his skull is going to scream and then it's going to close and nobody's going to say anything about it.

Has his mouth gotten bigger? Do you guys, have you guys seen that? I have been noticing this. Like, it is, this is not a bit. His mouth keeps getting bigger. I think it's because his hair is getting higher. Because of the receding hairline. Yeah.

I think as he gets older, his teeth get larger. It's so that he can. He's growing a larger mouth. Something's up, and I'm scared he's going to eat the moon. He's growing a larger mouth to eat inferior. your podcasters, we're next. Oh, no, I thought, fuck. I don't want to fuck. I don't want to be fucking ginger food.

Whoa. Conan O'Brien must bloat. Oh, sorry. I forgot. Oh, dude. I forget. This is the for fucking, there's like so many, so many ginger's in here. My bad. I'm bald, so. Why is that bad? I didn't say. He said my bad. It was bad. I said my bad. Oh, now you pivot. It's not your bad. No, it's not, it's not, it's not your bad for your red hair.

What would you say when I eat the moon? I really don't want any gingers. Ginger's, if you're listening to this, please don't team up and eat the moon. Please put the forks away. Please put the spoons away. Please put the fucking rock drills away. I feel like a drill is for rocks.

I'm just going to say it. The mood is made of cheese. Just go get it. Just go get it. And now I have to try it. And now I have to try it. You get that shit at the Aldi. Just go to the Aldi.

Dude, we're not doing another Aldi discussion. No, I'm not. Just saying go to the Aldi. Get that shit at the Aldi. I don't want to talk about grocery stores for 20 to 30 minutes. Always fucking talk about it. I'm old. I'm old.

I'm old. I don't leave my house that much. They keep me in here like the fucking whale. Let's talk about the grocery store. He goes to the grocery store. Fat guy wheelchair. Fat guy wheelchair. Fat guy wheelchair.

Fat guy wheelchair. I got to show carbon that at some point. My fucking Mandy has the gas light edits and I've been up. I've been working. No, I've been working on the whale gas leak edit. And it's pretty much done now. Oh, yeah, I did share you peep.

I did share it last time, yeah. I've seen bits and pieces. I've also never seen the whale. Neither way. It's pretty much the whale, but fat guy wheelchair. Imagine if a guy was so fat. Does he like pizza? I feel it deep within.

It's just beneath the skin, I must confess. Is he like jorking it? He loves ranch. He does dip the pizza in ranch. Yeah. Do you dip pizza in ranch? My fucking wife dips pizza rolls and ranch, and it makes me so upset whenever she does it.

I get so fat. fucking mad ranch's worst dip by so fucking far nasty nasty that's not even true what's the worst one I'm not crazy about sweet and sour sauce fuck you actually fuck you go fuck yourself

I don't know if I call it the worst but you're being dude you're such a fucking asshole right now you're such a fucking diplet you're oh fuck oh my you're gonna make it a little argument again

I fucking love that I fucking love diplet, dude. I totally forgot about that. Scientific obesity over there on Fortune. Oh, dude. Dude, it's a fat-based condiment so you can use it like a primer because it won't be washed off by oil-based condiments. It's so fucking crazy. It's so fucking real.

I love it. I love that guy for going through all that and just like. Opening up his min-max. Dude, opening up his fucking dipping chakras, dude. Diplit detected is so fucking stupid Sweet and sour is fucking so much better You're so stupid anyways I'm not crazy about it I don't know

I could think all day about least favorites of us What's happening with the fucking What's the what's the what's the pirate what's up with pirates? Corbyn YARG YARG fellas Walk the fucking poop plank That's not it They be shivering in their dimbors

I be shivering in my dimburs truthfully technical difficulties are over in Corbyn. What's up with Pirates? I was here during the Diploid discussion that my internet exploded. What's up with Pirates? Yeah, we're moving on. Brendan genuinely asking.

grabs your cheeks, rotates them around like Mario in that fucking video game. Oh, Mario? 64. My favorite part of Mario is when he grabs my ass and slaps my cheeks. What about pirates? I want to know about the pirates. I'm sorry I had my fucking technical difficulties.

Fucking pull up the pirate post. I don't blame me. I blame the pirates. You know how I just moved? Yes. Or not just, I moved the fucking year ago. Well,

it's been a while. But y'all see my new place. Yes. Is it the one with a very big ceiling for how, because you keep growing, like growing longer? Yes, it looks like a, like a worm.

It looks like I'm in a recording studio. Yes. It actually does look like a recording studio. You could, dude, wait, amazing prank idea. Install a spider cam like,

like when you, like the fucking foot, like for football. where it's like the camera at the top. Sky cam? And then, yeah, Skycam, a spider cam. I lost my USB extended. You would be,

you would need a really long fucking USB. I had, I had one that was like 15 feet long. Daisy Chanon. I miss the days where you would hide webcams everywhere. It was very scary. I need to go buy a new one. It reaches over to all my rooms.

So I could run a wire from my computer to any room very easily. Through the, through the non-existent feeling. I love that. But, uh, moving in was the, biggest fucking pain in my ass, because I'm on the second floor and I live above a bunch of shops.

Yeah. Because of that, there's no elevator. So I had to carry every single thing that I own up a flight of stairs in the middle of summer in Texas in a 102 degree weather and was genuinely dying by the end of it. I was so exhausted and I was like, I just want a beer so bad. And there's a bar right beneath me. So I was like, fuck it. I'm going to go downstairs and I'm going to this bar. I've never been there, but I'm going to go check it out.

At this point, it's also dark outside. And I'm going up to the bar in the front of it's all glass. And I want to look inside before I go in and commit. And so I start kind of peeking in the window. And like, I couldn't really see inside. I moved closer. Luckily, I did put my hands on the glass and did the little cupy thing. But like I was squinting in the window looking and staring back at me or like, I swear to you, 10 pirates.

Just staring at me. Was it talk like a pirate day when you were moving? This is important. Do people celebrate that? I don't know if they were talking like a pirate. No, people celebrate talk like a pirate day. They dress up like a pirate. What's talk like a pirate?

I don't know people actually. What? I didn't know people actually celebrated it like that. I thought it was just a fucking Reddit holiday. September 19th, 2020. Or, yeah, September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. It was not September 19th. Oh, damn.

So they were just doing it for no reason. They were being pirates for the love of the game. For the love of the game, I got frightened. And I ran back upstairs. And I hid in my room for the rest of the night because I go, those pirates outside. I obviously can't. You were scared. They're going to make me walk the fucking blank. You do not know how actually scared I was when I finally was able to see through the glass

and it was just 10 pirates staring at me. 10! Whoa, okay. You said group. I thought in my head it was like, oh, four. No, it was a small crew. It was the whole fucking pirate crew. Did you see Luffy? Luffy. Luffy. Did you see him? I couldn't make out individual pirates. They were all like a general Jack Sparrow theme. So same pirate.

Everybody, everybody dressed up. Everybody's wearing the same outfit. No, no, no, no. All different. All different. Like, all distinctly not Jack Sparrow, but like that vibe. Okay. Like clearly pirated.

So pirate vibe. Yes. Whatever. I go to sleep, kind of worried about it, but not like the biggest deal. I'm like, I might not go back to that bar. Maybe I will if I have friends. About a week later, once I'm finished moving in, one of my friends texting me, was like, oh my gosh, you're back in town.

Like, let's go out and drink. And I was like, yes, there's a bar right beneath me. I really want to. go, but I'm too afraid to go alone. Last time I went, they were all pirates. So we, uh, he comes over and we go to the bar and I'm with a group of like five people. We're not dressed as pirates. We go in pretty normal. No pirates. No pirates. Nope. It's not a pirate theme bar. Yeah. Everything seemed normal. So they were convinced that I was like, like, oh, you probably just had like heat exhaustion. You saw a bunch of people. You don't hallucinate a crew of pirates.

They were actually saying, bitch, bitch, you're hallucinating. You saw pirate mirage. They said the pirates. The pirates weren't real. There's like about like five or six bars in walking distance from my house. So we went and tried all of them. And by the end of it, we were pretty gone. One of my friends sprained his ankle, trying to do backflip.

And I was like, okay, I'm calling it a night. I'm walking home. And they all Ubered back because they live farther. And I drunkenly stumble home. outside of my apartment, there are two pirates standing in front of my door. And I fucking pause and I run away back to another bar. You run away? I ran away.

They were going to recruit you. You were going to be part of the crew. They wanted to recruit you. It was a fucking Yakusa sub-story. You don't know this Corby, but you're now soulbound to those fucking pirates. They're going to get you. Yeah. Now you're fucked because it's going to be forever.

I started texting my friends, the pirates are back. again, they do not believe me. Sorry, it's taking a sip of my pirate drink. You're in the barge right now, aren't you? You're a billed rat right now, aren't you, motherfucker? I can hear the fucking waves, dude. I can hear the fucking chance in the background. Dude, you are part of a pirate crew.

Is that a parakeet? Is that a perot? No, they all died. My crew's gone. Oh. The thing that was weird, it was like, that was within one week. Those were the only two times I saw them.

I did not see them for like another maybe month and a half. Well, yeah, brother, they were out at sea. Yeah, they have, what did you think? I legitimately, like, I think they go on pirate missions. I'm not anywhere near water. Landlock state. No, it's not a landlock state.

It's not a landlock state. I know it's not. Not in Houston. I really like the idea of ten dudes dressed as pirates just go gallivanting around town and then just trying to recruit dudes into their pirate crew. I would fucking join. No, I don't even care. Corbett avoided the side quests so

deftly. No, I do think they tried to I do think they ended up trying to recruit me. What? So they did talk to you? I eventually Oh, fuck. So I saw them like when did I post that in February? Yeah, February. For like four or five months I would periodically see pirates. Always

alone. They were always in a group. I was always alone. It was always nighttime. I would see them. They seemed to be more present around my house. But I did once see them on the other side of town walking in a group. Do they carry swords? I don't think they had swords.

You are allowed to open carry a sword in Texas. That's what I was going to say like that. It's open carry. You can absolutely do it. Corbyn, really important. Could you see through them and when you saw them did you hear the tinkling of gold coins? No, you couldn't see through them.

They were pretty solid. They were regular pirates. Yeah, they're regular pirates. Pretty solid. I was just taking really good bit show where you are the medium from the medium, but you only see pirate ghosts. So it's like, it's like a ghost whisperer

who can only help pirate. Pirates pass on. That would be cool. That's fun though. I feel like you would have great conversations. 15 fucking seasons. Give me Corbyn the Pirate Whisperer.

I don't know about 15 seasons. 15 is a lot. Maybe like six seasons in a movie. How many, how many seasons do you go before you end a season on a cliffhanger? Let's do seven seasons,

but three seasons in Corbyn is replaced with Jason Mamoa and nobody says anything. Oh, you could do that, too. But I was going to say, how many seasons in do you go before a season ending cliff? is them seeing a ghost that is not a pirate.

When do they jump the shark? Easiest way to fucking fix that cliffhanger, though. They pirated media while they were alive. Oh. So you heard it here first, folks. If you have pirated any kind of media, you have to go to pirate purgatory forever. You will be going into Davey Jones Locker if you have.

Davey Jones's locker is full to bursting in the modern era because everybody's a pirate. Just like the episode on fucking Punch Bob. I mean, Davis Jones Locker is just a thing outside of. SpongeBob, but yeah. I mean, culturally, most people might know it from SpongeBob. Okay, sure. No, okay, sure.

SpongeBob, big guy pants, okay? My personal interpretation is the one in the fucking, okay? And the SpongeBob Bible? Yes. SpongeBob 316 says they just open up a cat of kelp on your ass. He didn't say that. I don't know. I was pretty convinced.

Sinus infection. I was pretty convinced they were like, I wouldn't say after me, but there was something weird definitely going on. Because, like, anyone I talked to either, no, no one would believe me that there was pirates. Maybe, maybe they were a group of guys that was really late on like the sea shanty trend, and they got really fucking into it. Oh, my God. That is, oh, I forgot about the fucking pirate music. You're so right about that being a trend, dude.

Oh, my God. I would hear pirate music. I, so I left half my bed frame. I sound like a genuine. This is why people didn't believe me. I. No, you sound totally sane right now, actually. I would hear fucking pirate music.

I don't have a bed frame. I left half of it at my old place, and then I gave up and threw it away. So my mattress was on the ground, and when I would lay to go to bed, I would hear pirate. You'd hear the hurdy-gurdy in your walls? That's fucking awesome, dude.

That is actually kind of awesome. I kind of hear the hurdy-gurdy in my walls. In my living room, kitchen, and bedroom, you couldn't hear it unless you were laying in the bed, or in my bathroom. It was the loudest in my bathroom. Corby, do you think maybe that these people just live in the same apartment building as you? No.

I think you might just have neighbors that are really into pirates, dog. I'm just, I'm saying it. It's like, it's an actual thing, though, a lot of fucking, dude,

so many dudes are like super into like the Reddit pirate stuff where they just listen to fucking, uh, a lot of dudes are just listening to sea shanties in their fucking downtime. You could play Assassin's Creed Black Flag with them. It'd be awesome. There are only like four apartments here, and I know all of them. None of them pirates.

That you know of. Maybe they have a relative that's really into pirates who visits often. With their whole crew. With their whole fucking crew. They come back from sea. I mean, if you're going to go full pirate, you've got to have a crew of boys. In between voyages. I would ask people about work about it, because there's people who have lived here for a long time.

And they would always say, I've never seen a pirate. I did finally The last time I saw him Is when I spoke to him I was not alone We've been edging this for a while What happened when you spoke I was walking

I was walking my dog With one of my friends And we were going back to my apartment And they were smoking cigarettes Outside of my front door And I went there they are Please tell me you see them They did

They also saw the pirates The way you said that They did Bro actually You didn't even believe it. No, the sigh of relief that I was like, there was like, in my head, I go, there's a 15% chance of actually gone crazy. And I'm seeing pirates and I'm hearing pirate noises. And since I wasn't alone, I felt like comfortable approaching them. And, well, actually, no, they approached me and they said, I like your dog. And I went, thank you. I like your.

And then I was going to say costume. Pirate. But I didn't know if it was a costume or not. So I kind of paused. It just said, outfit. You were scared of them being like, dude, what the fuck? I don't think I'd do you justice. I was terrified. I was terrified of these pirates. I ran from them. They were going to take you to the fucking break, dude.

They were going to send you to the break, dude. I didn't want to confront the fact if I was actually like insane or not and had lost my marbles. But I did say, I was like, hey, can I ask why y'all are dressed like pirates? And they said, yeah, we're singing sea shanty. Oh my God. I fucking knew it. Of course there was just a couple of guys singing shanties. It wasn't a couple of guys. They also, oh, they had a pirate vehicle. What do you mean? They had a pirate mobile. They had a Jeep.

It's called a boat. Oh, sorry, a boat. You're right. No, it was a Jeep with decals all over it that had like skulls and crossbones. That's fucking awesome. They're just super into pirates. They're just super into pirates. That's awesome. Yeah, okay, they were super into pirates, but they scared me. Well, yeah, it's going to be scary at first, but they just got to be like, yeah, it's just dudes into pirates. It's just dude into pirates. Yeah, but I was the only one who had ever seen them.

Well, obviously not. They're able to afford a fucking, they're able to afford a fucking pirate mobile. Would you guys be scared if you were driving on a dark and lonely highway and a car came up behind you and was flying a white flag out of the top and then pulled it down in hoist of the Jolly Roger and ran you off the road? I'd be scared. I thought the white flag was when you surrender. Yeah, but I'd be like, do you surrender.

No, pirates would fly a different flag and then they'd get close to them. They'd put the pirate flag up. Oh. Because if I saw a guy with a pirate flag, I'm driving away from him in my... I'm not down for tricksters. To my car. If I see a pirate flag and my wife's driving the car, I'm fucking grabbing the steering wheel, and I'm doing it, I'm drifting.

I'm drifting directly in him. Initial Ding. I'm taking them out. I'm right into that motherfucker. So you're, you're afraid? You're afraid? No more high women. I'm taking them out.

I'm doing justice to society. I'm taking out those pirates before they can hurt anybody else. You're afraid of the pirates. Just admit it. I'm not afraid of them. I'm going directly towards them, dog. That's not fear. They are doing pretty good this year.

Paul Skeens is like waking up. I also asked them if it was a regular occurrence that they dressed like pirates and they said the response was it can be. They really wanted you to be a part of a pirate group. That's so much weirder. Saying it that way is so much weirder than just like.

Nothing about any of the times I saw them was normal. Do they do parties? Can we hire them? They have an extra tricorder hat. I have not. I have not seen them since February 21st. Yeah. Dude, they're out on the fucking water until next month. I mean, they might be on a voyage, yeah.

I don't think you understand how pirates work, which is crazy, because you've interacted with pirates more than me. Yeah, dude, you should have asked what their fucking, what their boat was called. I, that, once they said, it can be, I, I kind of, did you just fucking leave, scurried away. You did you just fucking mugged by those pirates.

You got fucking, you got scared. I was scared. It can be, and you ran off. Dude, they hoisted the missing bog upon you, and you were fucking destroyed. That's crazy. They didn't own me. They tormented me for like six months. Yeah, dude, fucking Blackbeard was the scourge of the seven Cs for like 15 years.

A couple of months is nothing. Corbin, I'd be remiss to tell you. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that your name does start with a C. They were sailing your ass. They 100% were sailing my C. They sing their shanties below me. That's why I could hear them when I was on my mattress because my ear was to the ground. and the way the vints work, I guess it vints to my bathroom.

So I hear there's shanties when I poop. They're just going to apparate one set of the fog one day with a full costume fit for you and everything. It's going to be like a full setup. I don't want to be a pirate. You're going to be a pirate, dude. I'm sorry, you're going to have a little Navy outfit. You're going to be their enemy.

Oh, true. I think you could in like the, either what you want to do like British military or like American early colonial military. I'm talking about like, like, you know, the fucking gay little sailor cap. The gay little dweeps. Oh, you're going to be like the fucking Navy and the,

oh, the gay little sailor outfit and the gay little sailor cap. Yeah. Like, like, when you see a little boy and he's like wearing the sailor suit, yeah. You're going to have a dweebats. At the very least, they're going to give you a big lollipop. So it's going to be okay. Oh, that would be sick.

You and your sailor suit with your big lollipop, your chubby cheeks, your cherubic cheeks. Oh, you do have a big, you do have big chubby cheeks. They're fucking, they're flapping in the wind. Your face red with the grog that they ply you with. And then you're going to be, the grog. Oh, the grog again. Sorry.

They're going to make you walk the plank and you're going to hit the pavement 60 miles an hour, but I'm sorry. Oh, that's the wrong channel. Oopsie. That is not, that is not what you would look like. That's how I felt peering out my window staring at the pirate. No, that's like colonial. That's like colonial fucking Navy. That's stupid.

Corbyn, you still have time to buy a, uh, a, a, uh, a black. black powder cannon and shoot it at their jeep. Come out side of your window. Declare war. It's time to declare fucking war. Next time you see the pirate a Jeep just dropping a big iron ball upon them. Oh shit. To be fair, they've been maugging you for so fucking long.

It's time to fight back. I feel more confident now. I feel empowered. I will fight back. You should fucking, you do something about that now. You got to get the powdered wig and fit. The powdered wig.

I hate. I don't. like those. I thought we were having a good time with the other one. I thought it was the other Navy. That just doesn't feel like me. I feel like the, the British from... You gotta go tricorner hat, British Navy, powdered wig. Yep, yep, yep, yep. You could fit that fit. I feel like they won't, they won't fear me if I have my lollipop. You could always, like, break off the lollip and it could be like that famous movie, Billy, like, trick or treat and stab them with it, too. Uh-huh. That is good movie. Why did you say that way? What the fuck? I don't know. I just, I know

movie you like, you dress up like the character and you walk around, you stab the shit out of people. I did. I did dress up as Sam from Trick or Treat last year? No. What was I dressed up as last year? Oh, I Billy the puppet. I'm a fucking moron. They're going to blow up my house and it's going to be like that scene from Pirates the Caribbean when the ship's exploding with cannon fire and the captain's just walking out.

That's exactly what I was thinking when we started talking about having a cap. You only have to be afraid if you start hearing da-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Because that's the action music and then you're in a scene. I'm scared to you. You're okay if you hear da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da yeah yeah if you're the sad sub-story music you're gonna be fine you're gonna be

you're gonna be fine that just means you're gonna know corbin Corbin could be just a random pastor by an npcc label jerk and immediately get tiger drops it's just hanging out but you're you have jerk over you you're gonna die I feel like I'm not an mpc why might be oh feel like you're not an mpc pretty freaking uh pretty freaking work podcast here pretty npc behavior well I'm saying in their story because I'm the only one who sees them, but I do run in fear

every time. Maybe they put like a, you know what, if I was trying to haunt somebody with pirates, I would definitely put an Apple Air Tag in their shit. I'd find them. Trying to think of pirate haunting dudes and just like, yeah, Apple Air Tag, get the fucking boat with wheels, drive upon them. It did all start when I started talking to Billy about Roanoke. You just became a lot more cognizant

of pirates. You're going to find the words Croitoa written in Pirates scroll above your bed. Now everybody else that's heard this story is also going to be really thinking about pirates and that you're going to get a lot more pirate sightings in the coming months is like Bigfoot. Yeah, we are manifesting pirate sightings. You remember the dog shit, uh, scary clown sightings?

We gotta have pirate sightings this summer. We gotta have a pirate boy summer, I think. Pirate boy summer. I'm fucking down for it. If you got the de bloons, I'll get the fucking bone. Oh, shit. That's a really long time ago, the fucking clowns side of 10 years ago. It's like 20 years ago. Yeah, wow. It's time to bring it back a 10 year anniversary. Oh, the 10 year anniversary. It's the 10 year anniversary of the scary clowns. We're gonna have joyous, whimsical pirate boy summer. With a fit idea real quick. Okay, a fit idea.

Juggalo pirate. Peg leg. Whoop, whoop, avasty. Juggalo pirate? Juggalo pirate. Yeah, dude, Fago rocking off the port bow. Fago rocket off the port bow. I'm gonna say something and nobody has to be non-judgmental about what I'm going to say, okay?

Okay. So I was at a gay sex store and they had, do you guys know, oh God. Gay sex? I'm familiar with it. I've heard of it. Do you guys know what a pup mask is? Yeah. I think so.

A pup hood. Yeah. So it's like a, I don't know how to describe it for people that don't know what it is. It's just like a, it's a neoprene or leather thing that like encapsulates your face. And there, it looks like a dog. And it's used a lot for like kink stuff in the gay community. But this place that we went to, they were, they specialized in making custom ones. and I swear to God, I'm not fucking kidding.

They had one that was just a mix of a juggalo and the Joker, baby. I'm fucking curiously. I need to fight. I don't know if they have it on their website. Also, every time I go there, every time I go to this sex shop, which is weirdly a lot. I don't know why I'm always there. Whenever we're in the gay village, I'm just like, let's stop by, see what's happening. Gay sex.

Yeah, it's always gay sex. last time I went the guy, it's always the same guy and he always... I found that for $300 on entry. That's exactly what it looks like. Almost. It looks more juggalo-esque.

But yeah, it looks kind of like that. It's a bit longer too. You know, like the dog from the nightmare before Christmas? Yes. Zero. Yeah, zero. It's like the long nose like zero

and it kind of looks like that. Where did you find this picture? I think that might be the exact same one. just googled clown pup mask. It was the first result. I think it might be that. I think it might be that one because it's made with real leather. And I think this store specializes in real leather.

And every time I go there, it's always the same very old gay boomer. And last few times he saw me, last time he saw me, he was just like, so are you girlies going to? Gaga. There was like a fucking lady Gaga concert going on. But I was like, dude, I don't know what the fuck bro is on about. Just fucking, are you going to Gaga?

If I hear, are you going to Gaga? I'm heading back with a vasty landlubber. He has like the thickest fucking French-Canadian accent too. Oh, dude, it's fucking, I love that place. It's fun to go to. He's nice, even though he always forgets me. My Jeep parked across the street is about to start launching steel off the starboard side for these fucking windows. If you ask me a question like that again.

Are you like to Gaga? Yarr mate. We're going to Gaga. That's how the fucking SpongeBob movie starts. Oh, you're going to say that is literally the SpongeBob movie intro. Oh, that is. You're so right. Tickets to the SpongeBob movie. We have tickets for the Gaga show.

We all have tickets to Gaga. Let's go, little monsters. A vast. I'm really getting inspired to dress up as a fucking pirate, man. Pirates are kind of cool. Too many layers for me. I'm not going to lie. Too many layers.

I'm going to have to be like very. If I was part of a pirate career, have to be part of it, like, the decroated elder cabin boy wearing, like, the dirty shirt, covered boogers all over his face. Ew, like, you're talking about, like, crusty boogers? I cost me, Lord, yes. Yeah, we're talking about, like, the crusty cabin boy,

who's like, guy who got demoted too many times for trying to steal from the captain's quarters, but, like, they keep him around for some reason. So, yes, my lord, I'll call. No, if he sounded like that, he's walking the point. Like, the secondhand man. Where's trunk at? Bring me trunk.

My Lord, I'm here. He would be called Trunk. You're so right. Just trunk. Hello, Trunk, my beautiful idiot son. I don't want to be a pirate. Too bad. I'm not a pirate, but I'm an uncle now, so that was pretty cool.

They're like the same thing, kind of. Yeah. Show up drunk. I'm definitely going to, I got to, once my nephew starts getting, uh, once my nephew starts becoming more sentient, because he's one day old right now. He's so stupid. What an idiot. But once he, once he's a little bit older, I feel like I should just start dressing up

like a pirate. That would be insane Dressing up as a pirate Every time you see him He's fucking awesome Because then he would only associate you with pirates Convincing your nephew that your uncle's a pirate I could have a really big sack full of chocolate coins

This is a really strange gaslight My cool pirate uncle It is Jeep with ten other guys in it They pack in there like a clown car I would help I would come by I would visit just so we could be clowns I mean not clown What the fuck?

Why does a clown? I was already thinking about like, I looked at my sister directly in the eyes. I looked my sister directly in the eyes in the hospital as she's holding her beautiful son. And I said, so what if I got him a bunch of Fago? So what if I got, that's what you fucking said.

You said what if I got a bunch of that shit, yeah. Why the fuck would you mention Fago of all things? I don't know. Like he does have a little hat that says little man in white font. It's a black like dureg hat. Oh no. Dude,

that just reminds me of the movie little man. And that's hilarious. A movie's so funny. It put one of our friends' moms in the hospital. That's surreal, by the way. It actually had nothing to do with a little man. Jalous fucking. But every single time,

every single time little man comes up, somebody has to fucking mention that. Little man almost killed somebody we know. Well, I don't know her, but, you know, somebody's mom that we know. Why would the Wayne's brothers do this? She's fine. Not the Wayne's brothers?

Oh, it totally was. That was Mr. Wayne as a baby boy, wasn't it? It was, yeah. It was one of the Wayne's brothers. I haven't seen, last time I saw that movie, I was so drunk, I don't remember it. I feel like I need to rewatch it sober just to, I don't know, have a solid opinion about the matter, the matter of what if a little man was a baby? What if there was a little man and he was a baby?

And what if he freaked you the fuck out? He was a policeman, I think, as well, right? He was a policeman, but he was a baby man. Oh, Corbin. I have something that's similar to you not having, like, anybody believe you about the pirates thing, except to think the exact opposite. it. There's this big ass lifted truck. Everyone believed you're a pirate?

No, no, no. It has nothing to do with pirates. There's just this big ass lifted truck that has like a bunch of speakers underneath it on the bumper, just absurdly tall that drives around Cleveland. And it has a saw six wrap on it. And it says saw six ride with me. And I took a picture of it and I didn't ask anybody else about it. Hold on. Hold the fuck on. Hold the fuck on. Saw six is a movie. Saw six. And then it says ride with me. I have a picture of it.

Saw six. I took a picture of it because I was like, nobody's going to believe me, and I didn't show anybody it. And then a couple of months later, my sister sent me the exact same picture. Or like the exact same truck. It was like, have you ever seen this? And I said, yeah, and I asked another person. And they were like, oh, yeah, it's the fucking Saw Ride With Me truck. It's like, what are you talking about?

Why does everybody know what this is and nobody's talking about it? Is Saw Six the fucking insurance one? I don't know. I was... I think it is. I think it's the one with the shotgun carousel. That's a great one. I love that one.

Well, hey, then you'll love it on the back of this. truck. Is it actually Saw Six? Yo! Oh my God. Holy crap. That's fucking true. I couldn't believe it.

And then a couple of months later, my sister sends me a picture of that and a fucking cane's drive-thru. That's those speakers, man. Holy fuck. I'm so glad there. I'm so fucking happy that he has this business name because I, holy shit, I found a high-res photo. Sean's Fab LLC.

I found a high-res photo. I need to know more. I'm posting the high-risk photo. We're plugging this guy. Oh my God. No fucking way. Do you want? On the right, on the right, it just do you want.

To play a game, dude. This is so sick. I fucking love this guy. So the, the speakers weren't playing anything when I drove up behind him, but my friend, my friend, when he saw it, it was blasting the saw the amount of those speakers. I have, I have amazing fucking news. It even has more speakers attached to it on the inside. The back opens up.

Oh, my God. I have incredible news about the sound. the saw truck. It pops open. I think this dude's my hero. Yeah, dude. I saw it driving. This dude is actually my hero. What? I was I was in the middle of driving panicking trying to get a fucking phone out to take a photo of it. Because I was like, nobody's going to believe me. It was playing Hello Zep. Oh my God. Amazing incredible fucking news. In September, 2025, the saw truck was fucking stolen. No. And then recovered. Yes. Why, why saw six? Why? Why? Saw 6? Why

Six? Okay. You know what? I get it. Saw 6 is fucking awesome. It's the insurance one. That's like arguably one of the better sequels. Dude, I'm like, I'm smiling like an asshole. This is so cool. I love this guy. Dude's rock. I love his body shop website because it's just

this saw truck over and over again. Can I call? Okay, can I real quick? I call him. I call him on my pirate crew. I call him. That's okay. I've taken Bluey on my pirate crew. Dude, imagine. Imagine if instead of Those were speakers there, they were like cannons. Oh, you'd be set. But imagine the shanties you can play out of those.

This is literally the coolest shit I've ever fucking heard. Hey, oh, once there's a man, little went to see him. I don't have any crazy custom car experiences. I just have the poop car, and I've talked about that before. I've seen a joker car driving around, and it's red for some reason near me. I just can't get over the fact that this dude is going around blasting the fucking, the fucking ending theme song of saw on the fucking horror route

that's so sick that's such a power play dude makes me so happy speaking of things that make me happy Patreon questions if you're part of the $5 and above tiers you can ask a question for the Patreon Q&A

and it goes like this Anomily asks for TTRPG players or list members, what is your favorite one shot that you've ever played? Oh, dude, aliens. I think we talked about it more than once, but Brendan, Brendan, Mandy, who was on that one?

It was, Randy to be true. Because Creel, me, Creel was the yeah, that one was so fucking fun. I really liked that. It was the system is really good. Was it the original? It was the, yeah, it was the the original alien tabletop. It was so fucking fun.

I don't think it's Renegade. It might be My favorite bit of that campaign was at the very, very end when I thought Dimitri as the Android was dead. I was about to make my escape as one of the only actual characters still alive. And then it fades to black because the decapitated Android blew my fucking brains out as I'm about to get into an escape pod. It is so fun. I love, I'm pretty sure that system, because it's been a while, it's been like almost two years at this point. But I'm pretty sure the system had a thing where it was like anytime you would like before you started the, campaign, you had like a hidden thing about you.

Agenda. Like a hidden agenda. I remember I was a drug addict and I was just trying to get as many drugs as possible. And I would, I would do it to my own detriment. I would have to try my hardest to get picked to explore places with drugs. And that made for like so many great role play moments and opportunity. That game is so fun. I love the aliens.

game. I think my role was captain and it was just keep it together bitch and I was just I don't think anybody was keeping anything together. I did pretty good. I did not do pretty good. I think I survived but I survived but I died. You died and then Creel had other characters that came out of the ship after we died. Me and Mandy were pirates. Right. Because we got killed.

I got killed by a monster in the vacuum of space. Mandy was the Whalen Utani fucker and Mandy was playing It's so fucking smooth. He was, oh, right, because he was like his secret. Who did I? I feel like I killed somebody. Who did I kill somebody? Either you killed me or you killed, like, the android.

I think I killed, no, I don't think I killed the android. Did I kill Mandy? I think you killed Mandy. Yeah. Because I remember both of you were, like, tagging along, and I was tagging along with Dimitri. But every time I could, I would lock the door behind me. Dude, it was a great campaign.

It was one of those that was so fun that we still think and talk about it years later. My favorite one shot is the Blood on the Lens one that I ran because I got my grandma through VO for it. That was so fun too. That's really good. Go check that one out. Yeah, shout out to that one person in the most recent episode of Perilus that said, I railroad my players. I'm going to destroy you. That was so fun.

I love that one too. Blood on the Lent. I feel like every time that I have a really good experience with a game, it's always because it's a, game it's like a system that really rewards role play or facilitates it in some way so and blood on the lens is amazing for role play because of the uh what's it called again the system where you uh the the beat storytelling engine the beats oh yeah is it called the beats because you have the beats and then you have the roles where everybody decides what happens if you have like the twists that's what it was called twist system

When you roll a double, everybody at the table needs to pitch in to the story and what's going to happen, what the consequences of your actions are. So many fucking twists. So many. We've rolled so many. It's so fucking fun. I threw away like three-fourths of my prep midway through. I just fucking, the twists I just had. I just got to make this awesome.

It was a lot of fun. Yeah, you can watch that. Oh, yeah. You can watch that. You should watch that. You can watch that. You should watch that. It's blood on the lens.

I don't remember what it was. I'll reap what you sow. Reap what you sow. Yeah, it's on the channel. Go watch it. It's fucking awesome. Otherwise, like, I've been really enjoying

the vampire campaign. I'm in with 10. And then the Mutant's Mastermind's campaign. I'm in with another group of friends. I've been having a lot of fun. I love Imagineathan. Imagineathan is maybe the best character I've ever made. I love Imagineathan.

Such a stupid fucking name. Fuck you, soup. My favorite was I had a character with the entire Dr. Davis for this backstory. And you got Schoingite? Huh? Schoengait?

What I mean? You said Dr. Dysmertz. Oh, Dr. Dufenshmertz. Oh, Dr. Dufantzs. I thought you said disrespect. I heard, can I be real? I also heard. I also.

Don't worry, Marvin. I heard I heard Duf and Schmertz and also I do think you saw those pirates. So do you have a lot of inators? No, unfortunately. There was no inators. I was a gnome. But it's paying off so well now because I started a new job. And there's one person in particular who I,

been slowly dropping Dr. Dufenschmidt's lore as my own. Like today I told him, what was it? Oh, I told him I broke my family's garden gnome. And my dad was like absolutely pissed off at me, made me stand outside dressed like a gnome. And he's not caught on. But I've been slowly dropping more and more lore. Is he the right age to get this?

He's like 22. Oh, he'll figure it out. We'll see. My favorite one shot that I ran is a couple of months ago, I ran a introductory vampire session for a group of people who have never played it. And I tried running it different this time where I gave them character sheets but didn't tell them anything about like their clan or their powers. And then as the session was going on, if they tried to do something that they would be able

to use that ability for, I would just like hand them a little note card and be like, you can do this for the rest of the session now. And it turned out really good. I'm still fucking, I'm still fucking thinking about the last perilous session where you all railroaded yourselves and I'm still fucking, I disagree. You railroaded me. I didn't railroad. you, I built a map and everything. You ran past all the bits I had preset up.

I got a new plan for Perilus though, so. You were like, I'm going to go do thing. You've told me thing. I'm going to go do thing. And then you ran towards thing and started planting bombs. Yeah, no spoilers for Perilus. You guys should go watch Parallus story. I only planted bomb because I thought it would lead into success. It did not. I have a better plan. I've restructured my notes a little bit better to make it more fun. So don't worry about it. I've got mechanisms and motions. So otherwise, I want to run that Hays one shot that I've been working on.

Oh, God. I have a hazel one shot. What's it called again? What's the yellow, what's the yellow flir? Nectar. Yeah, I have a Hayes one shot and a Half-Life one-shot that I've been working on for a very long time. Sir Borblow Blister Staff asks, what subject did you have Vena-Hussock make a documentary about? You have to do it in the Van derog-Sog voice.

Gamergate. I understand. One of the most tumultuous parts of our history is gamers. Understand. And somehow Gamergate itself led to the presidency of Donald Trump. Oh, my God. Women in video games, pretty epic, but they said, no, not epic. Dude, I don't know.

There's a lot of things I don't want Wernerzog to talk about. SpongeBob, the quest for more money. What is the quest for more money? My brain stopped working midway through that sentence. I was just, I was fully in the hog. I was hers hog right now. Give me a topic and I'll go full hers hog into it. Corby, what documentary do you want

Werner Herzog to make her? Who's Werner-Hur? I would like to see the baby. That guy from Yoda, baby Yoda? Oh, baby Yoda? The old German guy who said, I would like to see the baby. He's a documentary filmmaker.

Roanoke. The only thing left behind for the word, Croatowa. Nobody knows what this means because they're fucking stupid. Only idiots would know. They went with an actual native tribe. The shit was solved, you dumb ass.

I want him to make a 10-year retrospective documentary on scary clown summer oh actually real as fuck I would love to see him talk about the fucking 10 years it's about time clowns are such a joyous thing they bring mirth and girth to society

they have such home inside of them never say mirth and girth their nose is so bulbous the big squeaky shoes walking around some people however they're afraid of clowns they have corrophobia the fear of clowns understands these clowns

They wander around with the big squeaky shoes, but one night, one horrifying night, October 10 years ago, the clowns were wandering around in the big squeaky shoes, not for joys and delights, but for scary spookums instead. Wow, and now they don't even need to make the documentary. You got the voice. We got the voice, but I don't know how accurate. Voop, whoop, welcome to my fucking juggle fest.

Anybody else down viz the clown? Shout out to the great Melenko. Anybody else drinking that moon mist? I'd fuck with a picture of Werner-Hazog crushing a fago right now. No, they'd go so fucking hard. How old is he? I feel like it would kill him. 900.

He's the oldest man alive. Could he even handle the power of a Fago? It's got a lot of sugar. I've drank two Fago in the last month. It's so fucking much. I don't think they even sell it in Canada anymore. You gotta find that at like specialty shops anymore. I typed Fago in Google and it just said Fago death.

Jesus. Did somebody die from Fago? Too much. Woop, Fago rocket got him blasting off the port bow. God, now I'm thinking about the idea. of a juggalo cruise and how terrifying it would be to be the only non-jugolo at a juggalo cruise. You can only get it in Ontario or Western Canada. So you can get Fago.

You got to find it. Yeah. You'll find that it smoke shops, vape stores. I thought it was a drink. Wait, what? Yeah, it is a drink.

But that's the only place I find it is in vape stores. They know their clientele. Corbyn, you got it. You would crush a moon mist. You got to have a moon mist, you got to have a moon mist, fago. I swear to you.

It'll change your life. Whoop, I feel like I've had Fago before. It's hard to get a whole. of now. Faygo has an official Spotify with a bunch of like playlists for every drink like, oh, sparta, fucking Fago diet art Arctic Sun. This is what it, this is what it sounds like. They don't even talk about this, the significance of Fago and why am I blanking? Dude, you just said their fucking band name. Am I okay? And St. Clown Posse? And St. Clown Posse. Yeah, why?

Violent J and Shaggy Too Dope. I don't understand why they just don't mention them by name at all. It's like they're embarrassed. Because the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, Fago's probably corporately embarrassed of the ICP fan-based ranking Fago, but they don't want to directly say it unless they get a Fango rocket to the head. That's totally true. They're probably super embarrassed by Fago rockets. Oh my God. The drink two Fago's steal five catalytic converters. Oh, what's another question? Geremi asks, you can beam of fact straight into the heads of everybody on earth simultaneously. What knowledge are you blessing or cursing everybody with?

Loud fart noise with reverb. Everybody at the same time. Not a fact. It's not a fact. That's not a fact. That's not a fact. Oh, sorry, I missed read it. I changed the C to an R.

That's a fart. That's really funny. Oh, then if we're changing the C to an R, the, the Devo one. Ah, true, Nerf this. I want to go with a fact. I want everybody to know. You want the infinite snapple blast?

What? The infinite snapple blast. I'm saying that because when you open up a Snapple and you look under the cap, it has a little factoid under it. Oh, okay. I want, okay, so I want mine to be, uh, everybody learns about the entire, like from start to finish the entirety of Ernest Klein's nerd porn author, auteur. That's still not a fact.

Nobody has said a single fact. No, it's a poem. Everybody knows that, well, it's a fact. Everybody is of, no, it's a fact because everybody knows it's like, oh, fun fact. the Ernest Klein, the guy who wrote Ready Player 1, is a fucking freak. He's a creepy little dweeb. You know what?

Actually related to that, Ernest Klein tangential, beaming a fact into everybody's head. The fact is the guy who created dub got cucked by the real-life patty mayonnaise and then everybody on Earth knows that all at once. That's a really good fact. I would pick a fun and cool animal fact. Like, did you know that draft's tongues are purple

so they don't get sunburned because they spend so much time eating leaves from tall tree? actually I'm using my fact after 10 uses their fact because it doesn't say that it has to be a true fact and I'm saying that drafts don't have tongues oh you're so right we can just lie wow you're gonna you're gonna get the opportunity to tell everybody a phone fact and you're gonna lie to them yeah the internet does it all the time why not me did you know that in modern day America Houston has the highest pirate per capita in the world are you looking at pirate facts no well no we don't I don't need to look up anything that's yeah that's experience They're after me. I want everyone to know the pirates are real. Holy shit. One second. Real pirate fact that would beam into people's heads,

pirates did not bury treasures. What? Yeah, there is only one recorded case of a pirate burying treasure. I would not want to do that to anybody because that's fucking. I'm ruining whimsy and joy. I'm beating into every child. I'm seeing the movies.

I'm so shitting. Why would you beam that? I'm beaming into every child's head that Santa Claus. All at one. Hey, Billy, can you censor that for? please. Yeah, sorry, I'm going to censor.

I'm going to censor that Santa is... You're going to censor it again? Because there's probably a couple people in our audience that still think Santa is real. Which he is. Which he is. Did Corbyn say what he wanted? I want everyone to know the pirates are real and they're beneath my house. Pirates are real.

Pirates are real outside of my house. What the fuck was that, Batsy? I don't fucking know. But this guy told me pirates are real outside of his house. Fake fact. Jesus has been reborn. watch the world explode. No, no, you would have to start with the fucking,

the Halo 3 respawn noise. Just, like the match start noise and the Jesus has joined the game. I want everybody to have in the peripheral, in the middle of their vision, just Jesus is reborn in their native tongue. No, actually just in any of the songs.

Christ is reborn. Christ is reborn. If we're doing this now, I'm beaming into everybody's head. It's me, your God, you're right. You have to tell everybody else that you're right. Start a weird personal crusade on every street corner. We could fuck with, we could fuck really hard with people with religion, I believe. I'd be telling everybody, click was actually a lot better than you remember.

That movie's not bad. That's it. Just sending one sentence into everybody's head with, you should find Adam Sandler. It's starting the largest gang stocking campaign to ever be known. Why? You should dress as a pirate and go find Adam Sandler. What? Everybody on Earth go gangstocked Adam Sandler right now.

My fact for everybody on planet Earth, all seven billion people. Piracy's kind of back in fashion. Got a real uptick in the pirate. This is a billy question. What would we call our boat? Ooh. What would we call our boat? Oh, no.

Or our pirate crew. Fuck, I was going to say. name and boat name. Boat name? I think my pirate name would be red beard. Fuck, you stole mine. Yeah. I was gonna phone it in.

No. Yeah, I get pissed on. Okay, my bad. Pilfering shiny treasure. Fuck you. Pilfering shiny treasure? Pilfering shiny treasures. Yeah.

I like that one. What's our boat then? A big boy. The big boy. The big boy. I like the big boy. The whale. We got like on the past,

he's going to be a fucking fully carved wooden figure of the whale eating a big. Just a, instead of a mermaid, it's fucking Brendan Fraser. We don't write a song to you. We don't look for treasure. We look for the next slice. We are like three years deeper to the whale, and I will curse Jello every day for this.

Outie. This year episode of Please A Fast Blabberin would not have been possible without the help from our crew on Patreon. Here's a few top supporters straight from Billy Joe's locker. That sounded like I said Billy Joel. Thank you so much to Alan Diver, Artivogin, Avery Pascal, Bupulu, Brain Soup, Brass, Cassandra Crash, Chipples, Chris Chapman, Dirt Eater 2713, Dubiology, DX Studios, Edward McMillan,

Eric Scott Gillies, Ethereal, Geif, Gridrian, Heretic Shark, I love Wifus, I am Scarf, Jack of All Corgs, Lomba, Lucavia, Moraine, Mr. Starchy, Mr. Shirt, Presta Husk, Rat Supreme, Rudolph Fluff, Sir Blurbo Blisterstaff, Sponge Guy, The Frostace, Tuchin, Farben, Tyler Hall, Uber, Wake, and Woodstock. Thanks so much for listening, and we hope to see you on our next voyage.