Please Stop Talking - Please Stop Talking Goofs and Bloops 2018

Episode Date: January 25, 2019

I edited down 5+ hours of audio consisting of 90% sighing, heavy breathing and asking "what the fuck are we even doing?" to bring you the 10% that was left. Support the podcast and David on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Humble Bundle Monthly: http://humble.pleasestopshopping.com/ Humble Bundle: https://www.humblebundle.com/?partner=pstpodcast/ Join the PST Discord server!: https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: David - https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Avery - https://twitter.com/ShammyTV Cameron - https://twitter.com/SuperSneakSheep Kyle - https://twitter.com/SirZulu_ Brendaniel - https://twitter.com/BrendanielH Mandy - https://twitter.com/Lord_Mandalore Kreal - https://twitter.com/My_Kreal Podcast - https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Podcast also available on Spotify, iTunes, and SoundCloud! iTunes🎙️https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify🎙️https://goo.gl/fdVg9V Soundcloud🎙️https://goo.gl/i1zNgC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's tasty. It's yummy. It energizes your body. Coffee. Patreon. Oh, my God. I need to fucking script these, my fucking god! We haven't done a clap sync, how is this gonna work?

If we're gonna- Oh yeah, good point. You realize- I have a sec- I- hey, hang on a second. Cameron, you realize how, like, if the clap sync happens, this is all also synced. You know that, right? Nah, that doesn't work. The clap sync only syncs everything after we clap. Exactly.

David, start the next blooper episode with this so everyone knows how much of a fucking moron he is. Destroyed. It's the comeback of the thing. Just make it big. It's the comeback of the piano. Can you make it not a piano? What the fuck are you talking about, David?

Make it something else. Make it... Ghosts. Make it ghosts. That's not make it ghosts that's not a ghost that's not ghosts make it ghosts oh shut the fuck up about ghosts you guys seen ghost dad? trying to find ghosts don't find dogs

dude just a fucking piano he's trying to find ghosts like ghost dad Don't find dogs! Do just a fucking piano! Ghosts! Like, ghost dad. I don't even want ghosts in this episode! I just want the piano! The grand return of the piano! It should be a fucking piano! Why do sharks kill people? This is not often at all.

Not usually. Usually they- unless they're aggravated, they don't fucking attack humans. Killed my career! You could check out Humble Bundle. Or... Humble Bundle is- Cameron played a note. Cameron played a fucking note. Stop. Why Cameron play the note? What?

It's funny, it's... I need to figure out- okay, Let me write down all the information humble Moms Oh God Monthly also exists. Oh David's in Cacaree Cameron's cameras playing the piano the entire time as well, so It doesn't matter cuz you're not gonna use Cameron's... Yeah.

I still hate it. I still hate it. Okay, so... Oh my fucking god! Hey, Ed! How do you feel about video games? OOMMMMM! Why? What are you doing? What are you fucking doing, Ed?

That's just me hating video games. Well, how do you feel about you feel about Great White Sharks? Okay. Uh, well... Cameron, it sounds like you got some plosives there. You need some help with those? Please. My mind's like popping. How are we doing this? Hey, have you ever wanted to... That's perfect. That's not our intro. Yeah, I know it's not our intro.

What the fuck are you doing then, Cameron? Just fucking sing the tone, cunt! How much do you think someone should pay for a limited edition Please Stop Talking poster? I mean, 20. I would say... When did you get here, Mandy? Mandy? Oh!

We're not using any of this. Shut the fuck up. You're a fucking piece of shit. Hey, Mandalore Gaming. Mandy. Mandy. What? Mandy!

Oh fuck! Mandy? Are you there? They got to him. It's thought 17. You got caught for inside trading. Are you there? They got to him. He got caught for inside trading. I hate my life. I hear you've been up to some inside trading.

Not going to the podcast. Hello? Cut it off. Delete all records. What are we doing? How do we get Mandy in it? Today we're introducing LimboCoin, a hot new blockchain. No.

No. www.pleasestopshopping.com You can find all sorts of prizes and goodies. Wow, look at all these prizes. You don't need to say the www. It's not the year 2000. People know what a web zone is.

Why did you say something dumb? Well, look. Look, Avery. Some people aren't in the web zone. Mafia, go to plesestopshopping.gov and you can buy all kinds of tanks. Oh my god! Instead of calling him Mandy, can you call him Mandalore Gaming so people know?

Why is this your new thing? Alright. Sir Strumming? Sir Strumming? Can you call him Mandalore Gaming so people know? Okay, why is this your new thing? Alright. Surstromming? Surstromming? Surstromming? Or as it's known in the home country. Well, you can order that at pleasestopshopping.com

and other various things such as eating strumming and going to a wedding only US and Canada. I feel like at some point you should probably clarify that it's David doing these things, not just a random stranger we found. They'll figure it out once they go there. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, and Mandy. Hey, Mandy.

You hang things on your wall, right, hey, guys. And Mandy. Hey, Mandy. You hang things on your wall, right? No, yeah. I have a Dota 2 poster. I'm not talking to either of you. But you said, hey, guys. I specifically said Mandy afterward. Oh, I'm sorry. Have your fucking

private time with Mandy again. Have your cake and goddamn eat it, you fucking bitch. Not Ed. What the fuck is happening to me? I hang Asian old man wall mural every weekend. private time with Mandy again. Have your cake and goddamn eat it, you fucking bitch. Not Ed. What the fuck is happening to me? David. I hang Asian old man wall mural every weekend. What did you just say? Hey, Mandalo Gaming, have you got wall space where you'd like to hang something?

Not yourself? Shit. I've got some wall space, I guess. Start over. Hey, Mandy, you ever wanted the date for a wedding yeah hey Mandel or gaming have you got wall space we can handle a Mandalore gaming you told me to fucking! Are we done? Does that work? Sure. Sure. Spanking?

Spanking? Fuck, alright. Hell yeah! I'm excited about that. Spanking? So should I buy the ticket? Oh, we did it. We captured the magic once more.

No, it's not. It's $179. You too can capture the magic on your wall with the new Please Stop Talking poster. You could buy the new limited edition Please Stop Talking poster. We have less than 10 still in stock. Wow, that's like how many tickets for Kendrick Lamar there were when I just checked. Alright, well you don't need to make this about someone more famous than me. Oh, hit us with the me instead of us.

Yeah, you're right. But in my heart, Kendrick Lamar isn't as famous as you, Avery. Cameron, would you buy tickets to see me? No, honestly How much money were the Kendrick Lamar tickets that you just bought? $190. Oh, you know, it's less expensive than that No, Avery. What is less expensive than that? So many fucking things. What kind of high roller are you? Oh my god. Man, after buying those Kendrick Lamar tickets, all I have left- No one cares about your Kendrick Lamar tickets, why do you keep churning it in? All I have left is $14.95 plus shipping.

Okay, you can do that. I can't believe you're humble bragging on this fucking podcast. Get it? Humble. It's a hit song from the dam. The dam. From the dam. Cameron is like monologuing, talking to himself about, you know, that.

And then David just randomly comes in. David breaks his wall and is like I'm glad you asked Cameron even though Cameron doesn't ask yeah alright let's do it alright okay three two what I don't need countdown I'm not gonna start clapping! Man, after buying these Kendrick Lamar tickets, I only have $14.95 plus shipping. Oh, I'm glad you asked. Fucking... It's part seven! Head on over to plesestopshopping.com right now! You're gonna have to mute my like

honestly maybe not after you do the intro i'll just ask a question who do you fucking think you are okay well i'm gonna go get some water and hopefully you change your mind by then Let's clap sync one way my hands are sweaty. Oh my god. It doesn't it literally does not matter though Are you standing on your hands clapping with your feet We we have every single time Cameron's out we do something like terrible and it just sounds awful i can start like a i can do my dolphin noise what that's not oh god what the fuck i can do my like zombie scream for you i don't want that have you ever listened to an episode of our podcast?

Yeah, it starts with the piano, and last time he did the kazoo. Oh, yeah. By the way, David, I have a lot of claps now on this recording, so make sure you get the right ones. Kyle. Why? What the fuck is wrong with you? Hey, it's a series of, like, seven claps. If you can't figure it out, like, come on.

I thought we did, and then I forgot that Kyle was like, Well, my hands are sweaty. Knees weak. Oh. I fucking knew it. I fucking knew it. Alright, Amy. Hit us with the- hit us with the three, two, one. One, two, three. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. Amazing. yeah wow amazing okay my sounds good yeah i'm tired of your sarcastic fucking audio

check what do you mean your sounds good we just clap synced are you now doing your sound test it's fine you're the fucking professional you're the only professional here i mean yeah it's weird to be like trying to start without doing an ad read because You're the fucking professional. You're the only professional here. I mean, yeah, it's weird to be, like, trying to start without doing an ad read, because the ad read is always our warm-up. Let's make a fake one. Brendan, record a fake ad read for us, let's go. Hello and welcome to the Please Stop Talking Podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about-

Pacific Standard Time. What do you mean, yeah? Hello and welcome- This is an ad read for the Pacific Standard Time. do you mean yeah Hello and welcome This is an ad read for Pacific Standard Time Today we're If you want to support Pacific Standard Time If you want to support Pacific Standard Time I bought something on Amazon

No one cares what do you mean No listen I bought molasses on amazon listen listen i bought molasses on amazon and you remember that one time i bought something and for you for your birthday are we just going is that just happening no no i bought you a book i bought you a book. Are we just going? Is that just happening? No, no, no.

I bought you a book. I bought you a book. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I bought molasses and I accidentally... Did you ship molasses to my house? Oh, God. I gotta do a fake ad read.

Today's episode of Please Stop Talking is brought to you by molasses you guys ever just when you were young see the the thing of molasses open it up scoop it up with your finger and just yo I was just thinking during the

entire podcast we just all use southern except for you what reverse Texas holy shit entire podcast we just all use southern except for you what if you reverse texas reverse texas holy shit you really gonna hit me with a reverse texas i thought we were friends kyle no if you guys all started speaking in southern accents i would get a southern accent that's always how it happens to me that's fucked up shut the fuck up yeah Yeah, honestly, never mind, David. Why are you being so bunk?

Is that supposed to be a southern accent? You're doing a really drawl-heavy southern accent. I love drawl-heavy southern accents. Drawl-heavy southern accents sound way nicer than twang-heavy. It's already happening! Let's fuck up. Let's fucking start. Let's go, everybody.

Wait, give me a sec. Okay, go. Oh my fucking god. You give me shit about not being ready and this is what you do? I was fucking... Welcome, everyone. If this is in the blooper episode, now you know. It's all David's fault.

I fucking hate David. David's listening to music while recording. It's all a fucking facade. Just a tiny bit. David listens to soft music while recording? It's all a fucking facade. Just a tiny bit. David listens to soft jazz while ruining functions on a podcast. I listen to soft jazz because I have autism and I need something else in my brain to not cloud it with other things. Like penguins or some shit. That's not autism, that's ADHD.

See, that's why I need soft jazz. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. What the fuck? Let's do another one. You clapped to like two. He's excited, man.

Calm down. You're the one who is actively excited for the clap sync. I know. You're a fucking weirdo. It's fine. No, this is fine. One, two, three. Put more emotion into that, I believe.

Direct the page. David Cage? Is that you? Yes. You think David Cage gives his fucking actors that much direction, Cameron? Cameron, I need you to remember that David just stole your dog. You are taking the show. In this scene, you are

naked underneath the mocap suit. Why? For the method acting. But I'm the actor. Isn't it up to... No, the method... That's not what method acting is.

Put your clothes right there on this wall. Come on, let's fucking record the entry. You fucking morons. You're the biggest morons. Come on. Ellen, don't worry. It will not be leaked. David.

Shut up. Have I mentioned I'm friends with Ellen DeGeneres? She will not forget. Ellen. Is that real, shut up. Have I mentioned I'm friends with Ellen DeGeneres? She will not forgive me. Return my phone call. Ellen DeGeneres. Is that real? Shut up! Shut up! Please, let me do-

God. That's not even the bundle anymore, David! That was last month! See? We pissed you off with our impression, so that you would have more emotions. That one gets naked underneath the Zemo capsule. Fucking, you guys ready? The power of mocap.

I'm so excited because Cameron's already mad at us. I love it. One, two, three. Oh wait, we're... David didn't? Okay. David in the future scrap that clap sing Brandon you need to start recording as well

is this button the standard record button shut shut ass I can't when you're around alright that's good I don't know about that last part like

you sound like a fucking motor choking, like... What do you want me to do? That's how I sound when I shiver? That's how you sound when you're cold? You sound fucking tri- Wow! You sound like a tri- Is that enough? Is that enough, David? This month's early unlocks are the Escapists 2.

Why is there an S? Why isn't it just the Escapists 2? I can't say the Escapists 2. That is there an S? Why isn't it just the Escapists 2? I can't say the Escapists 2. That's impossible. That's impossible. You literally just said it. You literally just said it. The Escapists 2. They said it! You fuck it up! So, what stories are we all telling today? Jesus Christ, this is warm.

Right? What is your body temperature? I got a warm ass. Wow. Turn all of the stuff off. I'm like mega recording right now. That's good. I'm also recording. Let's fucking get it. Sorry, David.

I'm not sorry, David. I hope you die in a fucking fire. I'll give you a big kiss, David. Wow. David's getting all kinds of mixed messages right now. Okay. Pics are in the bread box. Your mom's in the bread box? Oh!

What the? Alright, please. Let's just try it once, okay? Dick Cheney made money off the Iraq war. Alright, okay, okay. Hot Ted, in. Okay, hot Ted, in. In, in. Alright, alright, okay, okay. Hot tip, in. Okay, hot tip, in. In, in, in, in, in.

Hot tip, okay. Go to Discord. Go to Discord, right click on Sermiao, and then click mute. Okay, so all I need to mention is Overwatch? Yeah, just be like, the next humble monthly is Boberwatch. You can get Boberwatch for the Bumble Bumbley if you go on Bumble Bumble.

Let me. Ah, what a refreshing soda that was. And you can get one, too. Or not. I don't really care. Fuck me. I can't even. Refreshing soda?

I love soda. Oh, man. Play that Kanye West Roblox song you made. Oh my god. Yeah. I don't even know what that song is. I'm a sick oof, I like a quick oof. I'm a sick oof, I like a quick oof. Can you play Rich Girl by Paul and Oates?

I'm a sick fuck, I like my toes sucked. I cry in my bed and sit in my truck. Tasty. My dad beats the shit out of me. Hey, that's me. Who's taking the bath? This water's hot.

I love the taste of my own gum. Yep. I love that map. I love the gum map. The gum map. They put that in blackout. If you find all the teddy bears on the gum map.

Can someone edit the black ops 4 cover? You get free copy of Evil Within 2. TV remote, can you Ops 4 cover? You get a free copy of Evil and then two. TV Remote, can you skip my orgasm? TV Remote, can you skip ahead? I love Adam Sandler. I hate the sights of my own cum. Skip. What if you had a gun?

Oh yeah, that one. I've just been recording. Yeah, same. I've been recording as well. Hey Future David, I could delete this and make this easier for you, but I'm not going to I'm right here, and I'm fine with it Yeah, but now you're an asshole Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh What a fucking line. Cameron, can you change your fursona to the Noid? I don't have a fursona.

You have the Noid now. No. Just make a fursona. I just love the defeat. Just have it be the Noid. It sounded so sad. no just make a persona just have it be the noid it's the defeat in his voice didn't you actually work at dominoes

was it dominoes who was that directed at Cameron he worked at dominoes in the caves he was the noid oh shit yeah the noid was the domino yeah I'm not crazy yeah he was the domino oh shit yeah yeah I'm not crazy yeah he was the Domino's mascot he ruined your pizza

oh Cameron why do you have to do that what the fuck I could do a worst one on pizza mascot now there's two winner the Noid winner that fucking little Caesars guy the seemingly innocent cat a dark secret he held for a dangerous mission deeply he upheld i want you to know how i wanted to go into yoda voice so

bad i know you were like actually struggling there the seemingly innocent cat a dark secret he held for a dangerous mission deeply he upheld I love that every time Brendan says or does anything man he's like a child at an amusement park tonight I won't rest until the big fat man I find shit

this is so fun I'm having a great time are you drunk? I'm having a great time. Are you drunk? You want me to give you the line again? I've had a little... I'll be better. Ed, you do realize that not all ducks can fly, right? Well, no.

What are you doing? That's my eldritch head voice. That's my eldritch head voice. You were trying to go deeper every single time. Avery didn't know why he kept on trying. These two just wouldn't listen to hear... Fuck! I'm having a stroke! I wait to hear

frantic voices in the background. Avery didn't know why he kept on trying. These two w-j-uh-wawa! Stanley opened the door. Okay, listen, you really don't want to eat me. I'm a furry and Canadian. I'm like the worst-haring... And Avery barely felt how the beast graced his feathers with his spike.

Damn it! My intentions are as pure as a bottle of Fanta. Is that a joke about how Fanta was created by the Nazis? Dude, I have nothing to say. I hope so. Yeah, Fanta was created by the Nazis. Ever since I was but a tiny kitty cat, I've been eager...

I can't say that seriously. Jesus fucking Christ. I felt my toes curl. Everybody mute. God fucking damn it. My most cherished things? My most... Cherished is literally just the wrong word to use but yeah this is weird sought after sought up can you replace cherished with my

most or like what is it's not after some yearned for things oh yearned but the thing is yearned and isn't yearned thing is yearn sounds like yarn and you're a cat. Oh, fuck off. Most yarn for. Please say yarn for. Can you just say meowsed? Oh my god. My meowsed yarn. This fucking persona.

Is this my fucking personal hell? Yeah. Never did I get any of the Meowst cherished things. You have to do it. My Meowst yarned four things. Oh, okay.

Meowst yarned four things. And at the very end of it a big red sofa stood tall. Santa. David called. Santa. Santa. I can't scream.

Santa. Santa. And without waiting for an answer, David walked up straight. Oh, that's Mandy. Mandy. Mandy. Oh, that's Mandy. Mandy. Mandy. Oh, poor David. I'm afraid this journey was in vain.

For you see, you're already far too late. Do you have a cloth on your mouth? What are you doing? I don't know, but I'm into it. Are you Bane? Oh, fuck you. No, he's just making it sound like he's wearing the helmet. It's perfect.

Oh, my God. Wait a minute. Mandy, break your freaking audio again. Oh, no. Break your audio again. Don't turn on the submarine voice. Don't worry. Oh, no.

I hear rattling. I hear rattling. He has an actual... Mandy, don't you have a night helmet? I think that's what he did. I'm scared. Oh, poor David. I'm afraid this journey was in vain,

for you see you're already far too late. You're peeking like crazy. Oh, poor David. I'm afraid this journey will be vain. You see, you're already far too late. Is this what we're using? Yes it is I, Lord Mandela the Great, and I am going to start a new game. Take off the helmet, you faggot.

Take off the helmet at Mandela the Great and then keep that on you. Wait, what did you trade with Santa? David blinked in confusion. Some quartz crystals in a Yu-Gi-Oh instant fusion. I didn't read that. Fuck, okay. Some quartz crystals in a yugioh instant fusion i love it every time we have to record anything scripted mandy dies every time he has to say

anything okay so first of all fuck you and also this does mean i have to beat you up david mumbled David mumbled. Oh mumbled? Okay. Yeah. How much was you? How much have you had to drink? Listen the only mumbling

I know about is mumble rap. So yeah just mumble rap. First yeah, just mumble rap. First of all, fuck you. And also this means I gotta beat you up. Like that. Okay, so mumble rap.

Okay, so mumble rap. Fine. Mandy smiled as he clapped his armored hands. Clap. Clink. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where's the, where's the, I got two cans here real quick.

Let me get, let me do some sound effects. That's your foley, David. That's your foley work, David. That's your foley, David. Amazing. I don't even have to work anymore. David giggled all nervously. Send that in after he says it.

Sent elves flying to the walls. Sent elves, I got, yep, yep, yep. Spanking. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. That's a fucking callback. Yeah. And saluted. The elves confused by the strange sight. Sorry. Is that a fucking

Neanderthal? It's a fucking Cro-Magnum. Okay, cool stuff. Yeah, sure, whatever. Now go get them elves! The little helpers cried out brave brave Go get a mice Slaves I don't know, that tickled me. Go get them, mice. Go get them, slaves. Oh my god.

But you did beat my army, and a deal is a deal. Scooby? Scooby-Doo in December. Scooby? Scooby? Scooby? in the... Scooby? I looked at my window when I heard that. Alright, you wanna clap sync again? Yeah. Alright. One, two, three.

One, two, three. Great.