Please Stop Talking - Professor Daddy | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: January 18, 2018

I hope Avery's been eating enough... Audible: www.audibletrial.com/pstpodcast US Amazon Link: bit.ly/PSTAmazonUS CA Amazon Link: bit.ly/PSTAmazonCA Podcast also available on iTunes and YouTube! iTunes - apple.co/2slCqTT YouTube - bit.ly/2sjmCAT Rating us on ITunes is extremely helpful for us and a great way to grow the podcast! Links: Avery - twitter.com/ShammyTV David - twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Cameron - twitter.com/SuperSneakSheep Charlie - twitter.com/fuckintatertots Kyle - twitter.com/SirZulu_ Podcast - twitter.com/PSTPodcast Art by Madbuns: Twitter - twitter.com/mad_buns DA - madbuns.deviantart.com Other links: YouTube - youtube.com/c/shammytv Twitch - twitch.tv/ShammyYT Reddit - reddit.com/r/Shammy David's Spotify - spoti.fi/2gAtGSJ David's Soundcloud - @sirmeowmusic Audio in this video was mixed and mastered by David Tremblay (bit.ly/SirMeowMixing) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calling all sellers, Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword. It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. This episode of the BSD Podcast brought to you by audible.com. Derek, do you have any book suggestions? This episode of the BSD Podcast brought to you by Audible.com.

That sounds like a riveting read. I'll be sure to use the URL audibletrial.com slash PST Podcast for a free audio book and a 30-day free trial. Thanks, David. Oh, my God. that was perfect. Welcome to the podcast. Oh shit, he actually did it! That inbox.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Please Stop Talking Podcast. My name is Cameron. You may know me better as Shammy. I'm joined today, as as always by my friend David hi I'm David but you might know me better as Shammy I'm joined today by my good friend Kyle hi I'm Kyle but you might know me better as Shammy I'm joined today by my good friend and special guest charlie tater tots hi i'm charlie tots but you are we all supposed to do that you might know me better as shammy oh god perfect exactly what we wanted so shammy is in jail, so he can't be here. He can't be here.

He has to go to his court proceedings. It's very difficult times for the Please Stop Talking podcast. Please do not mention it. I don't know why he did that to that person, honestly. Do not mention it in the comments. There's so many changes in today's podcast. Like, we don't have the piano. Avery's not here. Why's that? Why's that is that cameron yeah why don't we have the piano i don't have the piano anymore cameron i moved i moved from my place and i don't know cameron decided to grow

up and leave and leave his keyboard behind he left the podcast will die in three episodes he left he left he left the keyboard behind but most, he left the PST spirit behind as well. Jesus. When you had to make the special guest learn some basic fucking guitar chords. And we didn't even introduce him correctly. Like, dude, he's not just Charlie. He's not just fucking Charlie. He's Charlie.

It's raining tater tots. The man who made the shammy Discord fan server. How does it feel? What's it like owning such a prestigious server? What's more prestigious, this one or the racist one? Wow, that was... That was too... Come on.

Can we get a clock on how fast it took to talk about the other server? And anyway, today's thought about the podcast server. Today's about high school, isn't it? Isn't it? Yeah, today's main stories are going to be prom stories, I guess. I guess. What a wonderful, wondrous age. Which is a great time for me.

A great time where you would hide your boner by pushing a book on your ween. Definitely didn't do that. Didn't happen. Yeah, that was definitely more middle school for me. Maybe freshman year. Secondaries, we don't have middle school. So David, do you have a prom story that you would like to lead off with no

Didn't you I suggested it cuz Charlie was like All right, whoa so Charlie often does Charlie have a story He does he told me fuck oh my god oh no what was my story you're the worst guess we've ever had what the hell this no no wait it's coming back it's coming back remember that remember that bitch chartreuse or something like that oh who that bitch Chartreuse or something like that? Oh, that bitch Chartreuse. Chartreuse? All right. What?

Okay. Fuck. Yeah? I should have written this down. I thought you had a prom story. No. Cameron, do you have a prom story? I didn't go to prom.

No, because we said... That's your prom story. David said we were going to do just... Okay, I remember mine now. It's okay. I mean, it's okay I mean it's okay I finished high school all right guys this is a really good like template for how well we do without Avery here I think I think the bigger problem might be that I'm here at all so no don't tell yourself short just remember the story all right

um so this is not a prom story this is just a regular high school story uh so this was sophomore year in which is like 15 years old about 15 that's really fucking young holy shit 14 or 15 is that middle school well maybe like 15 16 anyways what is it middle school is 13 and 14 high school starts at like 14 or so freshman year is 14 you graduate senior year 17 or 18 yeah um but so sophomore year i was 15 and i was in english class and I was already a fucking troublemaker in this class. Um, I can't, uh, Oh, you were, you were, Oh wait, I think I know this. Um, I actually have a couple of stories about this class.

I just remembered a bunch of stories too. Um, I, for this one project, we, I forget why the fuck we had to do this but we had to come up with our own superhero uh-huh so why wait for for english yeah for english class okay was it you what did you fucking invent yeah um oh no so the theme we were like coming up with like the characteristics for our superhero and shit and the two people i was working with were like people i was not really friends with okay and we were just trying to get through the project and it took us forever and at the end of class she's like if you didn't finish it you can finish it tonight and bring it in tomorrow and we'll present it then and so i just told my classmate the two guys on my group that

i would finish the project at home and since we couldn't come up with like a a drawing for for the for the superhero i turned to one there's only two of them and i turned to one. There's only two of them. And I turned to one and I said, give me a fruit. And I turned to the other and I said, give me an animal. And one of them. Oh, no. That's kind of genius. I thought so. Yeah, no, if I was 15, I'd think that's brilliant.

But the results did not make it seem like it was that random. Because one of them said banana. and the other one said snake. Oh, banana snake? That was your superhero? So I come in. I go home and I finish the hero and I make the drawing. And the drawing is pretty much a snake crawling out of a banana peel. Just a yellow snake.

Oh, right. And so I come in there. I was, look, look, look. A fucking dick in a banana? Look, just hear me out, okay? Hear me out. Oh, no. I worked pretty hard on that drawing,

and never once during the drawing did I think that it looked like a penis at all okay and this is like some fucking american vandal shit like i went to i show up to class the next day i pull it out because i never have my fucking homework in school because same yeah so i pull it out i have it on my desk already and i turned to the guy next to me who I was, me and him were, we weren't in the same group, but we were complete fucking troublemakers. And the, um, he, he looks at my drawing and he looks at me. He's like, is that, are you, are you serious? Is that, is that your project?

And I said, yeah, what do you mean? And he said, that's what you're going to turn in. You're going to actually turn that in. And I said, yeah, what's wrong with that? I don't understand. He's like, Charlie, you drew a penis for your project. And I said, I just went frozen. And I go, no, it's banana steak.

Oh, my gosh. Banana snake. went frozen and I go no it's banana steak banana snake and it's my story here dude stop that I turn to the people in my group they're like Charlie why did you why are you going to realist in with you on this why did you draw a dick for our project this is a good project oh my god

and so the teacher gets everybody around in a circle, and we all had to, like, somebody had to stand in the middle of the circle. So the way it was, like, the questions were on the front of the sheet, and then you had to draw it on the back. So I'm reading the characteristics from the front of the sheet while everybody is looking at the penis that's drawn on the other side. And at the end, everybody else had to hand theirs around so everybody in the group could look at their drawing and everything.

And I was about to hand mine to somebody to look at it, and the teacher just goes, I'll take that. Jesus Christ. God bless this teacher for dealing with me all that year. i think the only reason i didn't get in trouble is because somebody in another class another group made an extraordinarily racist one oh really yeah how would they do i don't it was like his name was like Burrito Man or something. Oh. Oh. Did he even make some of that? Yeah.

Okay, yep. I think they got in a lot of trouble for that one. But yeah, they never handed back that assignment. She was usually, she'd like grade them really quick and hand them back, but we never got that one back. And I never asked for it back. Which I regret, actually. What kind of characteristics did Banana Snake have? That was an assignment?

Yeah, what was his powers? What are his powers? Oh, jeez. characteristics did Banana Snake have? That was an assignment? Yeah, what was his powers? What are his powers? Oh, jeez. How did he save people? Yeah, how did he save people? He's a fucking banana dick. Feeding them their nutrients?

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you know, he's got plenty of potassium to hand out. I don't know. How big was he? Yeah, how long was the snake? Oh, wouldn't you like to know, huh? Jesus Christ. How long was the snake? In my head, it was like just the size of a regular banana.

I don't know. How does it save people? Why would you make it the size of a banana and not the size of a snake? Alright, it was a stupid assignment anyways, okay? It's not my fault. Well, okay, now it's your fucking teacher's fault. She had to deal with you, right? Quick question.

Oh my gosh. How is this a prom story? He said it wasn't. Because he took Banana Snake to prom, dude. Oh, trust me. Banana Snake was very prominently featured at prom, let me tell you what. Jesus. Dude.

I actually was known for the rest of my school career as the Banana Snake guy. People would always talk about like oh is banana snake gonna be there really is that real yeah up up until my senior year they would say some some shit about banana snake some of my friends not everybody i wasn't like i was gonna say it's not like you know some like high school movie thing where it's like oh you're the banana snake kid and then i'm like sitting in a corner with no friends i just did that normally um oh no yikes dude no i don't think

i don't think anybody here wasn't a troublemaker except cameron i guess uh i was like a teacher's pet type of dude oh would you like it would you like a story yes were you about my last year high school were you i would say i was a troublemaker i'd say pussy oh well do you want me to get into the story or not david yeah go ahead go ahead okay so this is another high school story because we've done high school stories before i can't even remember but anyway uh so yeah this is we every year at my school the year 13 which is the last year of high school in new zealand uh for my school would play a prank on the teachers and uh usually they're pretty harmless like just like fuck like this is? This is gonna get dark,

isn't it? I mean, actually, I'd say all the time they're pretty harmless. I feel like everything we did was harmless. You stole her dog and fucking murdered it. No. Who's her? Why is it? What? Okay, go on. Don't let your

past melt into mine, please. No, no, no. Anyway, um anyway so like what we'd already done this year is we filled up some of the teachers rooms with balloons uh one teacher supported a football team and we filled his room up with a merchandise for the opposing team uh and just like covered everything in his room so like you know just like harmless this prank you covered it in what and like uh so like he was a liverpool fan and they covered his room full with manchester united oh yeah and stuff like that merchandise i heard like yeah i heard something dice and i was like that's a lot of fucking dice, dude. No. So, like, you know, just, like, harmless, like, it's a ha-ha, funny.

Yeah. But. You too. For, no, I don't, I disagree. But during the last assembly of the year, we all decided to have our phones alarms go off. Everybody in year 13 have every like we had a year 13 assembly and it was the last assembly of the year and we all decided we would have all of

our alarms go off 15 minutes into the assembly like everybody okay that's pretty good everybody's phone would just go off during the thing and then like it'd be like haha like we're playing a prank you were all grounded so what happened you don't ground it was i don't know they won't well they won't fucking give them detention it's their last day they ground them you know i'm saying so what what happened was is that somebody uh in the year accidentally set their alarm to go off earlier slightly earlier by about i'd say two minutes and uh and and his phone goes off and like there's like giggling because we all know like i was like oh he set his one off too early and stuff like that and and then the the principal who was on stage at the time said, get out.

Just like flat, just like pointing to him like, get out. I'll see you in my office later. And like he stands up and has to go out. And everybody just looks at each other like, oh shit. Because we all knew what was about to happen in two minutes. So like you see, you see like a wave of people just like slowly trying to slyly pull their phones out to turn off their alarms. And the worst part is, is the head boy, the, the, the prefect, the head prefect.

I don't know. Do you guys have that? Nope. Nope. What's the role? Head boy. They're like, yeah. Our schools run the very similar to UK schools.

Uh, it's an all-boys school as well but um the the head the head prefect he's like the one that like uh i don't know it's like the the the highest kind of like position a school student could have in the in the structure so like a school student yeah oh so it's like student body president or something like that yeah yeah yeah i'd say that yeah exactly and it's voted on yeah it's like student body president or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say that. Yeah, exactly. And it's voted on. Yeah, it's exactly that. So you see him because he stands up next to the stage. You see him because he was also going to do it, reach into his pocket and turn off his alarm.

And I'm just thinking like, oh, shit. But then so then everybody's phone rings off. And like he's like the principal goes goes fucking ballistic like he goes everybody out he he's he says everybody outside right now so we all like stand like every sorry no he gets everybody whose phone went off to stand up and they and like uh everybody who's honest uh which which is me uh yeah uh and like quite a few other people all stood up because we because like my thinking was like well if everybody's like gets he can't punish literally everybody like if if everybody actually like takes takes uh you know action like nothing's

gonna happen so about half of us stood up if not like less than that stood up and wait outside and he comes out and he says to us uh graduation is cancelled nobody here is graduating and so is uh and and uh fuck there's something else that he said we weren't gonna have oh we couldn't we also none of us could go to prom as well uh so that was his thing he said nobody and that's just like final is what is what he does and the and like so we're like oh shit like we're all like oh fuck like legitimately he said none of us were gonna graduate graduate, which I don't think it would actually have an effect because the way it works is that all of our results actually matter for MCA, and he can't actually stop that from happening,

but he can stop us from graduating from the school, which is just like a ceremony, which is just like a dumb ceremony. No, that makes sense. Oh, yeah, that's a big thing here, too. They can't, like, hold you back, but they can withdraw you from the ceremony. That makes sense. They can't hold you back, but they can't withdraw you from the ceremony. They say

that happened to some kids at my school. They just say you can't walk at graduation. So you didn't go to graduation and prom because of that? Hold on. Hold on. Then we murdered him. The thing was

is that because it's people's last year high school like family and it was happening that friday like this was on a i want to say wednesday and the graduation was happening on friday so people's family had already like yeah had already traveled down

and stuff like that and had already made arrangements and some of those kids like had the, through that. So like everybody's parent apart, apart from mine, cause I just didn't tell him cause I didn't care. I didn't want to go to graduation anyway.

I was like, I was like, fuck yeah, way out. But, but, uh, every,

so like all the parents would move out, just like started fucking complaining. And like all of the teachers, like some of the really cool teachers were just like, there's no fucking way he's like going back. Like there's no way this is actually happening. So like two days later he holds another assembly and says like, ah, I don't know. I've been thinking and like, I still think you all should be punished, but there's not a lot we could do in this last two weeks.

So, uh, I don't know. I'm not a hundred percent sure. I still think graduation is going to punished, but there's not a lot we could do. It was the last two weeks. So, uh, I don't know. I'm not a hundred percent sure. I, I still think graduation is going to be canceled and stuff like that. He's like saying all this stuff, but it's all very clear. He's like already like thinking of like taking it back. And so he's like,

okay. And then, then he leaves and the other teacher says, okay, so what are you going to do? Is everybody who was responsible? Cause what, what happened was that the head boy who turned off his phone actually like

came up and said to him that he was also part of it so because the head boy was part of it which is like the highest prestige and he's like to do with the the principal and stuff like that like he can't publicly like make it so the head boy doesn't go to graduation when he's going to receive like a shit ton of awards yeah like like he like this guy's gonna receive like a shit ton of awards yeah like like he like this guy's gonna get like a shit ton of rewards and he's like the so so we all know this but he's like acting like like it's still a possibility that graduation is happening so what happens we all have to like we all get up in a line outside of his office like so like there's like honestly

over a hundred students in like a line and we all go in in groups of three so i go in so like we're waiting three people come out three people go in three people come out yeah and like nobody says anything and and i'm like fuck what the fuck is gonna happen when i walk in there is he's gonna like put me on blast or some shit it's like i i i walk in there and he's just like he's like he's like sigh good shit like thathing and shit like that. And acting like, like, you know, it's like a big deal and shit like that. And he's like, fuck, I got it. It's so dumb. So he's just like, it's like, what you guys have done was disrespectful and uh and disgusting but i know some of your family has traveled a while so

for for because of this and how late it is i'm gonna allow you on one condition to all go to graduation so i'm like oh shit now i have to fucking go but um so like then we just walk out and i assume that's what everybody in the school went through so it's just this week of just pointlessness because of because we set our phones off in an assembly like he go wait what was the one condition yeah what was the condition uh fuck i can't even remember why did you tell us there was probably some probably some stupid contrived bullshit if you can't even remember what it was thing yeah um i don't know but it was it was like just like this really weird situation where for a week like we were like being being toted like uh

you're supposed to be the uh example for all the students before you it's like yeah we're seeing a bad example by sending our phones off on the last assembly of school No, you're still your class failed a game theory man like you all had to stick to it, you know the fucking yeah I know that thing like everyone who backed out man fuck those Anybody who's listening who went to my school and was sitting even though their phones went off, you're the fucking... You're the reason why we went through a week of dumb shit, including you, head boy.

Oh, shit. Say his name live. Say his name live. No. Where's he live? Everybody just stood up. If everybody in that fucking auditorium there just everybody stood up there was nothing he could have done literally nothing alarms went off oh my god

start a crisis lock the school down fuck these kids that like what what a fucking dick no but like i do understand like like my school was even worse. They were like, they do not want senior pranks to start being a thing in my school. So, like, if any sort of senior prank happens whatsoever, no matter how harmless at all,

anyone who participates will not go to graduation and stuff like that. And it's like, yeah. And I think they even threatened to hold the diplomas, which I don't know if they could actually do that. I don't think you can do that. They cannot do that. But the thing is like about our one, like teachers were in on it. The only way we got access to their offices to like do all that stuff was because the groundskeeper let us into their offices at night.

Exactly. I was going to say, how are you going to get into a teacher's classroom? We're like just in teacher's key we just like fucked around with it and like last year the year before me they were way worse like legitimately weren't even pranks they were like throwing eggs at like

fucking boss offices which isn't like which isn't like a bad prank but like setting your phones off in a fucking assembly like come on that's just funny like that's yeah that's just funny it's like okay yeah at my school we had no go ahead like he could have taken it so well as the thing like all he had to do was like the phones go off for like what 30 seconds like everybody has a good giggle and then he just gets back on with the assembly

it like takes 30 seconds like maybe like 2 minutes he decided to take a fucking long way just a week a week of just like non-stop going on about thorns going off in an assembly like I've never gotten into that much trouble and I did way

worse shit Canada what that means uh no you're gonna do a safe because canada is full of cucks jesus charlie you're gonna fucking you're gonna fucking cuck shame me right now dude dude i remember you guys well you guys remember when Miley Cyrus did her shit where she was like on stage at the VMAs I think

was it the VMAs and then she was like grinding and then on I think it was Robin Thicke and in the background somebody like put a picture of Billy Ray Cyrus like in transparency behind her?

No. Or maybe. You guys don't remember that at all? I remember that situation, but I never saw the Billy Ray Cyrus thing. I have no idea how this is connected. Okay, whatever. I discovered which printer was in

the teacher's lounge. Oh. And i was like oh man you know what would be fucking hilarious if i printed 50 of those pictures so i i i'm like in art class and everybody's like getting references for everyone's finger painting and i'm on the computer and then i just like i print that picture of miley cyrus grinding really heavily on robin thick 50 copies and i just send it to the teacher's lounge and i'm like oh bad i'm so fucking funny i can't wait to tell this on a podcast later in life yeah i was gonna say and then somebody in the pot in the teacher's lounge just presses cancel one time and then it only prints out like half a sheet

no they were fucking retarded they're like okay and i'm i'm just like i go back to like we were painting with painting or whatever and i i just i i take my references and i go painting and then the there was this there was my history teacher and she was fucking like known for going ballistic all the time and we just hear like like really fucking loudly outside of the door. And she just has like, she just fucking slams the fucking door open and she's like, who did this? And she has like a billion pictures of Miley Cyrus. I couldn't fucking handle it. I just started laughing so hard.

Because it was so nuts. And then she was like, I don't know who did this, but you're all going to stay until we know who did it. And I was like, what? We're in the middle of class and this is not your classroom.

And then the art teacher was like it's not that bad calm down and she was like no and then she was like really and she morphed into a goblin and ate suzy's face off she fucking chewed her face off it was fucked up we have to get another teacher no she she just she they they started an argument in front of us and we were like whoa what the fuck it's just like a picture of why they it's always the history teachers man they're always the like i don't know i don't know and then holy shit she just they just my art teacher was like get get outside, outside. And then they both went outside and then my art teacher came back inside

and she was like, who did this? Who done it? Who done it? And then she was like, I'm not going to tell her. And I was like, no, I'm not saying.

And I never told them. Thanks. So you never got in trouble for it? Never got in trouble for it. They couldn't track it to, like, the computer? Until now. They did. You're gonna be grounded by your high school.

Oh, man, I can't wait to get a fucking call from Mrs. History. Mrs. History. Mrs. History. The Mrs. History. It was you. She's still a fucking goblin. She's cursed by it. Yeah. She starts, like, Ilin. She's cursed by it. Yeah.

She starts like, I'm gonna cross a bridge one day and she's gonna go and fucking jump on the bridge like, it was you. And I'm gonna be like, this is turning into an anime, David.

But that's not the only thing I did with that picture and then your lowly art teacher comes in no what did you do wait what did you do with the picture after so we had a projector and we could send pictures on the projector during history class what why would you okay how do you guys access to this at my school it's like you can't access the teacher printers i don't know man fuck they suck fuck your school man i agree fuck that school i never had any fun like this shit dude think about it i went to private school wait really yeah i went to private school and it was that shitty, dude. I mean, I went to private school and our, like, network security and shit was pretty tight.

They don't care. No, ours was, like, really tight. There was so much discipline in my school. They were all fucking wearing uniforms and shit. We actually... Did your guys... Did your high schools have a person who was called the Dean of Discipline? No, we didn't.

The Dean of Discipline? Dude, you know what? the dod no our dude our dean of discipline was this like six and a half foot tall like gigantic black dude he coached the defensive line for football and he was all like he would like roam the halls with a baseball bat. What? What? And sometimes he would have a megaphone, and he'd yell at you if you're messing around with him. What the fuck? Why would he carry around a baseball bat? What a fucking badass.

That's fucking crazy. What the fuck? He was funny, though, because he actually went to my school with my oldest brother, and I told him, I was like, oh, yeah, Mr. I don't want to. smith is our mr smith is our yeah yeah mr shammy and he's like oh you mean whatever i can't say his fucking name um oh you mean mr avery he's he's like he told me to tell him about uh the time time he was being really cheap with my brother in football. They were going up against each other for the same position, and he just sucked my brother in the stomach in the middle of practice. And I asked him about that, and he just goes, I don't know what you're talking about, man. And then he picked up his baseball bat from one of the lunch tables, and I said, okay, I won't ask you about that again.

What the fuck? Holy shit. Wait, so he just fucking punched your brother? Yeah, in football practice. Back in high school. Yeah, when they were in high school. Yeah, this wasn't like two years ago. But that's what...

They can punch you? No. No, they were both at football. Like, they were players. They were both in high school. They were both at football. Like, they were players. They were both in high school. They were high school students. Oh, okay. Trying out for football and then just... I thought you were saying the fucking DOD

fucking... The DOD. It has to be DOD. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, at our school, that kind of, like, need for discipline was pretty warranted. We were shitheads. Yeah, same.

And anyways, to go back to the fucking projector thing, it was in the middle of class and we were doing like... We were really old for this. We were like maybe fucking 16. And she was at the start of the year, she was like, oh, you guys better get some Crayolas because we're going to be drawing. And we were like, what? Every fucking geography and history teacher does that, though. Really?

Are you serious? Not until college. I think every single history teacher I had had me draw. Well, if it had to do with any country's history, there would be a map first. And the map you have to color. And there was only two options for history there's honestly only two options for history teachers and that's either map quiz or draw a map yeah i was draw a map for both dude i had to write a rap for my ap us

history that's supposed to be like college level us history class what i still have i still have the album cover i photoshopped i think dude that's fucking fuego do you have the rap do you have the rap no definitely not are you sure can you just freestyle it right now i'll do your beat spit some bars spit some bars i don't i don't think i don't think that i this this this is definitely not going to happen okay go back to the projector david yeah definitely not going to happen. Okay, go back to the projector, David. Yeah. So, um, we, yeah,

we were doing, like, coloring or whatever, and people were looking at Wikipedia for fucking, I don't know why. Blue Waffle and shit? Yeah, exactly. Oh, as and shit? Yeah, exactly. Oh, as you do. Classic Wikipedia article, Blue Waffle. Dude, that's what middle school was like for, in my fucking...

Kyle, there is no Wikipedia article for Blue Waffle. Did he say Wikipedia article? I did say Wikipedia. Well, someone needs to write one. It'll happen. Eventually. Oh,

it could be you. It could be you. Maybe I already did it. You guys are just not giving me the benefit of the doubt. Follow your dreams. Anyways, I, I was on the computer eventually and I just go,

I just go, I search fucking that Miley Cyrus picture and I put it on the projector I put it on the projector in the middle of class and like nobody saw it for a really long time oddly enough because everybody I guess was focused and then I just fucking idiots I just get back go get back and go to my fucking team and then somebody's like ah and starts laughing starts laughing at the Miley Cyrus picture and then my teacher goes fucking ape shit and she's like what is this two times in a week and i'm like i'm really fucking stupid because i was the only one in my art class yeah i was gonna say yeah you had to be the only one between the two we're like one of three people yeah and she she was she like she started like dude she was going i'm pretty sure my fucking

history teacher was a Terminator because she just started scanning the fucking room. CSI Miami. She fucking saw me and then she pointed at me and she was like, you, my desk, now. And I was like, oh, oops. Dude, you could have denied that shit.

Come on. Just say, like, no. Like, what the fuck? That wasn't me, bitch. And then, like, you know... And then everything will be fine. Yeah. Just go like, fuck you, troll. I did not...

It was just a meme. It's just a meme. You have to be mad. Just a meme. It's just a meme. Well, you have to be mad. Just a prank, bro. Just a meme. Calm down. And yeah, she just... I went to her fucking desk and she was like,

this behavior is unacceptable. You just wasted school, time, and resources on these. You're going to detention. To jail. Yeah, she fucking called the cops. I died. And then you got shot in a car chase. Dude, how lit would that story be if I just had a car chase with my fucking history teacher?

That'd be pretty fucking good, honestly. Fuck. No, sadly, I just went to detention like a bad boy i was gonna say good boy but yeah unfortunately david's life is not like an anime and he did not have a shootout with his history teacher no but history teachers are the worst in my opinion like i had this one history teacher that would just like like because like who the fuck does their homework right and so like specifically in this history classic I definitely wasn't doing my homework and

or I was but like three weeks behind so you know and this teacher would make it a point not actually I mean I didn't fail a single class in high school so what would you do wait what why why why three weeks behind why did she accept your homework three weeks behind?

Well, I don't know. When it comes to passing classes, I just kind of calculated all that shit out. I was like, will they still accept my homework? I don't know. And it started off with me getting sick, and then I fell behind. And once you fall behind, it's really a lot of effort to catch back up. So I just kind of cruised through the whole thing. Just coast.

I coasted but this this history teacher uh miss history was pretty pretty upset and like she would make it a point like every other day to like or every other class to like come up to me and like publicly in front of the class ask me if i had my homework and and point out the fact that I wasn't doing my homework. That would work on me. She did it in front of half the class right before class was starting and was just like, so, how are you doing on your homework?

I'm like, good. She's like, are you caught up? I'm like, no. She's like, so then why the fuck did you just tell me good? Obviously without saying the fuck, but she was like, so why did you just tell me good? And I was like, I don't know. And then luckily she ended up passing off the class to a student teacher and she was really nice.

So that's the whole reason that I was like able to coast through because she was like, oh, you know, just turn it in when you can. Wow. to coast through because she was like, oh, you know, just turn it in when you can. Uh-huh. Wow. Is that... Dude, I didn't do it, and she wouldn't have accepted... Well, I mean, I wouldn't have done it anyways.

Yeah. I don't know what I'm fucking talking about. Let's be honest with ourselves here. Straight up, homework is fucking stupid. If you do it, you're a pussy. Just kidding. If you do it, you're a fucking liar. I would always do it like...

What, are you going to be successful in life or some shit? High school doesn't matter in the scheme of things. so you're just kidding. I would do it. You're fucking what are you going to be successful in life or some shit? High school doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Do you want to be on this podcast? Do your fucking homework. Don't be like us. Yeah, really?

We're hemorrhaging money. Please don't do a podcast. Stay in school, kids. Our investors are pulling out. These are good grades, guys. I had a teacher who I feel like you can learn a lot

about this teacher from the one fact that a lot of the nickname that a lot of students, mostly the female students, but a lot of the students had for him was Daddy. Oh. Yeah. I'll just let that sink in. Just Daddy?

Mm-hmm. Would they actually call him Daddy or was that just like... Yes. To his face? Unironically. Yes. No. Yes. No way. What the fuck kind of school do you go to? He didn't specifically... Wait, what

grade? What grade? Sophomore. So the same year, 15 years old. Yo, these fucking 15-year-old bitches are thirsty. Damn. What is happening? He didn't explicitly encourage it. Everybody call me daddy.

First of all, he didn't sound like he he sounded more like a uh like a stop calling me daddy imagine if sean connery was incredibly dorky that's what he seemed like implying um he's do that can you do him come on. Do it for us. Oh, my God. He'd be like... Like, he would tell a story. He'd, like, say something. He was an example of a student. And in his examples, the students would always call him Daddy. Always.

And this had been going on, like, my oldest brother. I'm 21, and my oldest brother is 32. And when my oldest brother went to this high school, that was still... That was, like, like a thing they would call people would call him daddy I never called him daddy but that is weird that is so fucking weird

yeah no that's pretty bad like I've seen like snapchats of like I've seen these girls post like on their story snapchats of like the hot substitutes and stuff like that and we're like uh but like never really calling them daddy to their face that's kind of a lot calling anyone daddy in public is kind of a lot

did he not say anything about it was he just like accepting it not really that's the thing though he wasn't creepy nobody really ever got the vibe that he was creepy he was just really fucking people just like oh people no he that's just what he just sounded dorky he wasn't actually dorky he was

the speech teacher so like everybody and everybody had to take this teacher like if you went to my school you had him like all always because he would only teach you only had him for one semester so you could do half of a class at a time. Dude, what if somebody fucking comments is like, I know daddy. Yeah, I was just thinking that. They're like I know daddy. Oh my god. Do you know daddy? I know daddy. Whoa.

He would always pick on me specifically because so in Chicago. Because he wanted to call you daddy. Why Kyle? Why? This is getting into call you daddy. Oh, why Kyle? Why? Getting into a weird place. Yeah.

I don't made it weird. Yeah. Like this. Anyways. Uh, anyways, fucking. So he, in Chicago,

I'm from Chicago and there's two baseball teams. There's the Cubs and there's the socks. And he was a socks fan. And I was. There's the Cubs and there's the Sox. And he was a Sox fan. And I was like kind of a Cubs fan. And he would just pick on me a lot. Cubs, really? If he knew you were, he would say anybody who was like a Cubs fan, he would say that they were cubby cold.

And that's like, that's not a thing in Chicago. Nobody says like, oh, those Cubs fans are cubby cold. That was just him he just described you as Cubby Cold that's how he said it that's kind of cute okay and then everybody would call him daddy which is not cute

no it'd be bitter if they just said dad no yeah both are bad yeah it would be better if they just said dead if they just said dead though it doesn't imply like it's kind of weird or if they said like pops or something weird or pops pops would be like a cute nickname pops isn't that bad but i mean he was daddy daddy he's thirsty dad is i have issues and fucking yeah i know is, I have issues. And fucking... Yeah, I know.

But I'd rather have issues than be... Man, what the fuck? What the fuck? We got into a weird place, didn't we? We're in a weird place right now. We're like stuck. Are we done? We're stuck in the desert.

No, we're not done. We're not ending. Wait, are we? Wait. No, we're not. If you want to end on a different note, I have one more story. Alright, let's hear it. Cutie.

Alright, David. Please don't flirt with me while we're on the air. Everyone, please get silence on the mic for Cubby Cole. We forgot to talk about our fucking road trip. Oh, another time time isn't it okay so

David you want to preface this okay sure so when me and fucking me Charlie Kyle and Avery and a bunch of people were meeting in Colorado and uh I couldn't afford a ticket and Avery and a bunch of people were meeting in Colorado in Colorado.

And, uh, I couldn't afford a ticket to Colorado because it was super fucking expensive. So what, and all the same thing for Charlie. So what I told Charlie, I was like, well,

we could just fucking road trip from Chicago to Colorado. And we were like, fucking pumped as shit and basically I went to Chicago and I stayed there for a while with him and his

family your mom's delightful by the way and shout out to ma shout out to ma shout out to mrs. Tots shout out to mrs. Tots but yeah and we just it was wild

it was wild I became snapchat famous yeah these two became snapchat famous on their like time in Chicago because Charlie would record David reacting to Chicago. And if you've listened to the first however many episodes of the podcast,

you can imagine what David in a new foreign place is like. And with a man like Charlie to record it and provoke him, it is fucking entertaining. Better than that, though. Because on Snapchat, you can make it so that

everybody in a certain area can see the videos we had fucking strange like he had message from strangers that were like dude i fucking love this kid yeah like so i would post it on my story and i would get messages from people that have never met David, like, this kid is hilarious. Please continue posting more of him. And that happened, like, six or seven times individually, just within, like, the first two or three days. So I was like, okay. And then I just kept going and going.

And then one time it, like, stopped for a couple of days, and then I posted again, and I got, like, eight messages, like, the return. And they were all from, like, people that – it was, like people it was like the first message dude yeah that was fucking awesome didn't you have someone walk up to you on a pier or something and be like aren't you the yes it was oh yeah so we went to working yeah we went to see a co-worker yeah uh so i work he works on a boat guys he works on a boat he works on a boat and he's from Chicago that is everything

he's a sailor alright anyways I really didn't like that yo David we're trying to pull ourselves out of the rut come on yeah

so I went to Yo, David, we're trying to pull ourselves out of the rut. Come on. Yeah. Jesus. So I went to get a free boat ride because it's something to do, and you can see Chicago from way out in Lake Michigan. And one of the other captains that I worked with, I waved to her. Jumped off her boat. No, she didn't. Jesus.

I waved to her. I said said hi and then she said hi and i and david like waved and she's like oh david i feel like i know you so well already just a fucking bean that's a fucking bee then there was that time we were looking at the i hold on this is really quick i just wanted to add this part. We were in a... What was it called? Shake Shack. And... Oh, my God. David, this was on 4th of July. So David saw some guys that had, like, black

polos on, and on the back, he saw the word security, and he was, like, making fun of them. Like, oh, look at these security guys. Look at these rent-a-cops for, like, local stores or what's going on. I was like, David, David, relax. And he looks down, he was like making fun of them like oh look at these like security guys look at these rent-a-cops for like local stores or what's going on i was like david david relax and he looks down he's like they have guns man they just let anybody have guns in america dude i can't believe i've been shot yet i can't believe these rent-a-cops have guns and i'm like i i look at these guys and they did say security on the back but the full phrase on the back was homeland security

i kept dude i was behind them i kept i was like dude i could fucking take these pussies dude on the drive from the airport to my house david said i can't believe i haven't seen that many guns yet because that's that's the thing when you're foreign and you you go to the u.s you expect guns that's all you expect like for real ask any look people in the comments listen up if you go to the u.s do you expect guns like comment subscribe that's what i have to say dude but yeah on like the the first day we start the road trip right we like drive out and we go on the auto route and like we just see smoke and like super far and we're like oh there there's a fire or some shit and i just start filming because i had my camera i filmed a lot of shit that i can't use because avery's in it uh and uh yeah we just pass

we just pass really close and then at one point we're like wait holy shit this is this fires on the auto route and we're like five minutes in, like five minutes of fucking road time, and then we just turn around, we see a fucking literal ball of fire with people running and a bunch of fucking like, not a hospital, a fucking

amber lamp and a fucking dude, it was fucking amber lamp, dude, we were like oh shit we're gonna fucking die we went to see the uh halfway through in iowa we stopped at the world's largest truck stop yeah it was really big i have some pictures of david like some videos of david looking at like all the different ways you could get your like blinkers and brake

lights tripped out on your truck and he just he's like just pointing at him like oh my god and then we went we went to like the oh my god US National Truck Museum or something yes yes oh my god I remember we just

we get in and then oh what happened? Fuck. The we were we were like filming each other like fucking idiots. You had your actual like camcorder out and I'm just taking snapchats and we're like oh what are we doing? Like fucking talking to each other and the lady at the desk is like

are you guys filming for a vlog or something? Oh yeah she was. No she said like you guys famous? And I was like oh yeah. You no she said like you guys famous and i was like oh yeah we get in we get this is one of my fucking favorite moments it's so stupid we get in the fucking actual museum it's dead like it is so well fucking like the acoustics in there are so fucking amazing. He would not. The fucking Snapchat is amazing.

He's just like, hey, David, what do you think of the acoustics? And I just go, it's good. It's good. Dude, fuck. If I find it, we're going to splice it in because it's so fucking funny. I'll send you the Snapchats. I'll tweet out some of the pictures of David on the road trip.

Maybe we'll sprinkle in some of the Snapchat videos and then next time David and Charles are in the same place, everyone who's following him on Twitter will be able to see some of this shit, hopefully. Kyle, why do you like this?

Why did you say it like that? That's really fucking weird. Are you trying to indicate something to me? I'm trying to indicate that anybody who follows you on Twitter. It's fucking tater tots. Are we doing our links? No, no. Are we right now? because i have one last story

when we were going when we were coming back to chicago from colorado we had to stop at a hotel because um oh no scary already what jesus what the charlie what are you going to talk about here charlie do you not remember the creepy hotel at 2am was it Bates I don't you don't remember maybe Charles doesn't find it creepy because he's from America no

because he was freaking out more than I was what are you talking about you see my voice you get in I'm like fucking dying and you're dying because we the road trip is like 24 hours or so and it's like 5 4 4 p.m i think 4 a.m and uh we stop by this hotel he goes in he gets the keys and then we go to our fucking place we park car, we bring our luggage in, and we have, like, let's say we have number 201, right? So we put the key into the door,

then we open it, and then, well, he opens it, Charlie opens it, and I'm just like, Charlie, Charlie, that's not 201 that's 202 oh yeah the fucking key worked for every room dude what the fuck what whoa yeah he just fucking not okay he he opened the the room door for like 2.02 and he looked inside and somebody was sleeping and he fucking closed the door and he looked in.

We were fucking white. The person who designed that key was just like eh, they won't try it. Yeah, really. Don't name that hotel, please. That could be bad. It was like a really small brand.

It wasn't. Yeah. I remember being sketched out because like I've done a lot of road trip traveling and I try to like stick with the hotel brands I know. And I was like, ooh, well, it's probably fine. It wasn't fine. It was not fine. I remember you fucking you were so freaked out.

You put a fucking chair in front of the door. Yeah, that's right because we were like we're not dying here and we just locked the door with furniture i did like the whole like the the chain on the door thing and everything yeah that place was sketchy that's fucking scary why and in the morning we just got up and fucking went to eat the worst breakfast i've ever yeah we just grabbed some of those nasty chewy little mini muffins and no no well i did it was fucking biscuits and gravy my first biscuits and gravy oh well everybody knows not to eat biscuits and gravy at a fucking hotel, dude. Dude, I don't... Everybody knows

an American thing. Bitch, I'm Canadian. Fucking... Fucking Canadian. Fucking plug your shit, dog. Alright, are we doing plugs? Yeah, we'll plug. It's been a while. Alright, it's been a while. Alright.

We're all a bit tired. Should I go first then? I'm just glad that Charlie's permanently replacing Avery from now on. I am glad. Fuck Avery. I'll be taking over the Shammy Television YouTube channel, actually. If you guys want Charlie to stay,

type a Put an F in the chat for Avery a Charlie to stay in the chat for Avery put an F in the chat for what are we doing just plug your shit should we say say something for Avery first like you go subscribe to I don't know I feel like I've been going

quite a few episodes and no one shout outs my shit everyone knows where to find Avery all right shout out to Kyle at SirZulu underscore on Twitter my sweet bastard you can follow me on Twitter

at SuperSnakeSheep and my YouTube SuperSnakeSheep and my Twitch SuperSnakeSheep Charlie you don't know your Twitter handle a snake shape Charlie uh um you don't know your twitter handle no it's

I know my fucking twitter handle it's at fucking tater tots how do you how do you write wait at fucking or at tater tots

no it's at fucking tater tots f-u-c-k-i-n tater tots t-a-t-e-r-t-o-t-s um yup and uh and then you then anything else going on

uh i have a twitch i don't know what it is i think it's well it doesn't matter no matter what it is it's replacing shammy.tv shammy television you can you guys can follow me on twitter at sirmeowmusic on spotify at sirmeow on soundcloud at sirmeowmusic and on twitch at sirmeowmusic uh david should we talk about thing stream

maybe stream oh yes me and cameron are gonna stream resident evil 5 co-op so be sure to check that shit out um where can we find that stream we literally just told you just rewind no okay so um Charlie what you had to podcast what would you do if I had to what if you had to show a podcast how would you do it oh fuck