Please Stop Talking - Punch Ups and Punches Down | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: July 26, 2020

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I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9, Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this based on a true story new season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific only on W stream on stack TV That's bullshit I Believe it. Well, I fucking don't I can buy an infinite number of Cameron's but like there's only one me, right? What did you tell me they were selling you earlier?

Me? Shirts and shit. Fresh new looks for the summer with a new Y2K-inspired design made from sustainable materials at PleaseStopShopping.com. And that's it? Nothing else? Nothing about video games? No. You're wrong.

An undisclosed amount of time ago, I invented a machine that lets me interface with alternate realities. An infinite number of them, all selling different shit. I call it the Skeleton Box. What does that have to do with video games? I could explain, but it would be much easier to just show you. What is that? Oh no. Hey. Wait. How did you guys get out of the trunk i remember going to anime conventions and like people would cosplay pedo bear and

this one time this one time i just saw this this pedo bear that like god just thinking about it there was like the there was like this woman that brought her little girl to the anime convention and then oh no the pedo bear cosplayer and the little girl were like were like playing around and being cute and

then the pedo bear is this podcast material or is this a puppy story no no started I think pedo bear playing with the little girl is already not cute. No, that's not... He grabbed her and started running away.

Pretending running away. And everybody was clapping. And I was just like, holy fucking shit. And everybody clapped. Because back in the day, pedophilia was wacky and subversive i'm not even joking constant reality surrounding everybody was clapping and going ha ha ha he's pedo bear he

pedophile and then and then he just brought back brought the girl the little girl back to her mom and he gave her a lollipop and I was just there like, holy fucking shit. The same thing happened at Evo. No, I don't think so. Except the girl didn't get given back. I think it was a boy. I think my favorite

post was, it was like, you know one of those vids where it was a guy playing Melee, but it's like a vid where they just program in a bunch of moves that will kill the character, and then they just let it autoplay. It looks really impressive, but it's just a bot doing it. And then the caption was, Smash players, when they find out the prize pool is a bi-curious 14-year-old.

Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God. Oh my god. Oh my god. I don't know how they found the best, the funniest way to describe just a kid. But a curious 14-year-old is so fucking funny.

I always wonder why Ness made it into every game. That's past me. That's my fucking joke, Mandy. Shouldn't we at least explain what's going on? Probably. I think it's pretty fucking clear. Welcome to the podcast.

Whoever could have fucking predicted that? We don't have instruments? How come it's supposed to be a fake Japanese voiceover? We don't have an instrument. Everyone's here and none of us have instruments? Yeah, I do. I have one here. Don't say first episode where everyone's here like we're doing this again. I don't like that.

What? Turn the volume up. Yes! Hell yeah! Let's go back to my trailer park roots. Let's go. Get that bottle. Get that moonshine, Joe Jack. I can be the...

I don't have an instrument. I can vape, though. This is already somehow a celebration of PSD. Oh, shit. He's ripping. It's like when in Fat Albert, they were in the dump and they were playing music together.

I hope someone listens to this for like three minutes and then turns it off. Do you see the Fat Albert episode where he learns that someone's retarded? What the fuck did you just say? The Fat Albert episode where he learns that someone's retarded what the fuck did you just say i i the fat albert episode where he learns what being retarded is and the teacher tells him he makes the stupidest face on earth is it being fat a kind of retarded oh god jesus no christ he's saying i'm curious fucking simpsons episode about that where you gets so fat that he's like officially retarded.

I don't think Ed's worried about that. No, that was disabled. That's not what happened. That's disabled. Potato, potato. No, that's potato, motherfucking tomato, you son of a bitch. This is what will finally cancel Ed. No, it won't.

Here it is. I found it. I think he's fucking unbounceable. Punk duck. That's what happens in the episode. What the fuck is this? It's incredible. It's the episode.

That's the name of this episode. Fat Albert. It always bothered me how small Fat Albert's titties are. His face was my fucking Steam profile picture for like two years. Wait, I thought Fat Albert was live action. No, that's the movie. That's the movie. It was an old cartoon.

Right. I'm not even thinking of fucking Fat Albert. I'm thinking of Norbit. What am I on? Same thing. Same thing. Potato tomato. Same thing.

Perhaps this might clarify it better. He is retarded. It's the second face that uses a scene picture. Fat Albert does poke chimp? Oh my gosh. Dude, they aired this? Yes. Oh no, but this is on...

It's educational. It's on tech. I'm going to Google, when did the Fat Albert retard episode air? Hang on. 1978. 1978. My bet is 1978.

Oh, everyone take bets. Everyone take bets. What? In 83. I'm joking. If you think Fat Albert was airing in 1976. How old is Fat Albert? He's infinite.

What? It had to be after 70s, right? 89. This is a genuine question. Would America air a cartoon in the 70s with a black kid as the main character? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it would.

Really? 70s for sure. Oh, yeah. Because he's poor. Because he's poor and fat and everyone's making fun of him. He's not a black person painted in a good light. Yeah.

Okay, well my bet is 1983. 1983. I'll go 1980. I'll go 1984. 89. Brendan wins. 75. 75. I said 76. Oh, sorry. 89 Brendan wins 75

I said 76 Oh sorry Ah shit I'm the king of the black Albert What did you just say Albert The black Albert Wow You know what

You really did win Jesus Christ I guess I'm getting cancelled I think Ed Stand is attacking David right now You know what, David? You really did win. You really did win. Jesus Christ. I guess I'm getting canceled. I think Ed Stand is attacking David right now. Oh, my brain. Wait, wait, wait. My stand makes other people have a Freudian slip and say the N-word. But I need to figure out what the...

That's not a Freudian slip. Are you changing what nuclear does? Yeah, this is different. A Papa John-ian slip and say the end word, but I need to figure out a song name that would go with that. So you're changing what you're saying. I really like nuclear. No, I'm not changing it.

Born in the USA. This isn't written in fucking stone. Dude, it's Punk duck stand convoy. Nuclear act two. Nuclear act two. This is a horrible conversation. I'm not keeping the Fat Albert stuff. Why are you keeping the Fat Albert stuff?

Is it just because you called him Black Albert? It's okay, Dave. Just bleep out when you say Black Albert. Like Black Albert. Just bleep out the black part. Then everyone will go, oh. If you just bleep out the black when you say Black Albert, everyone will go, oh, he just misspoke.

Yeah, just say Albert. Oh, he just made a mistake there. He might have said Foot Albert. But no, we will know that you said black albert but when you bleep it it'll be and in fact every time someone sees black from now on just bleep it so so that way we were never problematic do you not want the audit to be left in the audience's hands what you said and basing it off of how they think how good of a person they think you are

that didn't contest like everyone takes turns saying a word that david bleeps out in the audience guess what guess is what that person says based on reactions oh i got it yeah and write it down in the comments what the word you think it is. None of this is going in. The one with the most upvotes will receive the uncensored version. Oh, you get Reddit gold. David, you insisted on the seven-person episode, so

you've got to keep in the black Albert thing. It only took five minutes to start having N-word implications. I didn't accidentally say that. Patreon, do you accept reddit karma bro reddit reddit is reddit is a nightmare i had a novelty account called reads your comments i'm sorry that was the first thing i did it was it was so bad do use like Vokaroo or what? What? You know, Vokaroo, like how did you, you know, have the.

Oh yeah, Vokaroo. Yeah, Jesus Christ, you're bringing me back. No, I did a SoundCloud. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I did a SoundCloud and I like partially ran out of space, so I stopped doing it. You can still, you can still probably find that SoundCloud, which is weird. I made friends with Shitty Watercolor for a little bit. He follows me on Twitter, I think.

Who is that? Who's Shitty Watercolor? The famous Reddit novelty account, Shitty Watercolor. Yo, Ed, Ed, we joked before we started about how this was going to be an intervention for you, but it turns out it's actually a support group for Brendan. Hang on. You guys keep going. I'm still trying to figure out the song. you but it turns out it's actually a support group for brendan hang on you guys i did want to say fat albert trying to figure out the song fat albert gave me like a brain blast to a story from eighth grade actually um i i had this girl that was interested in me and i did not like her and this is back when i was in foster care so i concocted a story about how

i had a girlfriend and she was run over by a truck and i was still grieving jesus yeah i was not a good child yeah that was like the only way in my brain that i could get out of going to her house constantly to play wii sports maybe harry found her in a bin a few years later. No. That's how a David story would end. That's how a Harry story did end. Until it turned out that girlfriend was actually a tulpa and she was real but not real the whole time. What's a tulpa? A tulpa is an imaginary creature

fueled by your own imagination. Whoa. Or the imagination of many. Like Santa Claus is real, i.e. because people believe in him therefore he is real Santa Claus is a tulpa we're gonna go to the North Pole we're gonna go and fucking kill him get your pitchfork so the collective unconscious created Santa Claus

yeah and then gave him a big fat dick that's so fucked dude so it's elf rules yeah it's elf rules I got the name of the song my stand heat of the moment, makes you say the N-word. Oh my god.

That's really good. Heat of the moment's incredible. Do you think it'll ever get big enough that you'll get a bridge in PUBG named after you like PewDiePie did? Just get Elaine and Smite named after you like pewdiepie did just get elaine and smite named after you i started getting multiple groups they all call it pewdiepie bridge i guess i just named that now

oh yeah ed i was gonna make you a funny image but i didn't i got too lazy on my phone the other day i was like haha i, I should put... Yeah, you know like that the stupid meme with the wolf with the arrows in it? Yeah. I was going to have the little one be victims of the Smash community, and then

the big wolf with all the arrows being professionals with a smite tattoo on their leg. It would have been really funny if i never did it this is like when you tell us when you're gonna do something nice but you didn't just get like points oh yeah i was gonna i was gonna make you some cookies but i decided not to oh well thanks man i appreciate it one of my exes did that she was like because fucking ages ago i i couldn't edit videos for ages because my computer like melted and then she was like oh for your birthday i was gonna buy you a laptop but instead here it is and it was like a book on peter pan and i went oh thanks oh yo hey david not david ed i just thought of something from now on whenever you talk about an ex-girlfriend, you should just call them Black Albert

so that David won't forget to censor it. Wait, was it like the original cartoon, Peter Pan? Or was it like the new Peter Pan? I was literally scrolling through my fucking main playlist for ages trying to find a good one yeah you found a perfect one hey did you want to tell your story yeah you had a fucking story oh you said good stories oh oh yeah yeah um so i went uh oh yeah okay So most of my friends from back in high school, most, if not all of them are British and they all went to college in,

in England. And because of the confinement, oh man, because of the confinement, they all had to like basically move back here. Cause you know, all nationals have to come back to Belgium. Uh, so they've all just been hanging out here, kind of stuck. So we've all just been hanging out here kind of stuck. So we've all just been getting fucked up every other day. It's been fantastic. And it's basically been just a collection of people that I haven't seen in fucking ages, just shooting the shit and recollecting old stories. Like, for example, I saw James again, the guy that was the co-commentator when we played the Nazi national anthem. That was nice.

And I mentioned that story story didn't remember it no no i mentioned that story to phil and james heard me say it and then i turned to james and he's already got both of his hands in his face i'm like oh he remembers um but the main thing that i wanted to mention was that not only were all my friends there all of my ex-girlfriends were there. And if you've been listening to this podcast for a while. Black Albert and the Cosby kids. You'll know that I have plenty of funny stories with my ex-girlfriends. Oh, God. One of them, that was the one who we ended on good terms came up to me and she was

like oh shit whatever i was like oh my god i haven't seen you in like seven years a lot and then we just you know we just uh caught up whatever but the other ones as funny as those stories with them are let's be real they were all kind of cunts so so one by, because the night went on for like fucking seven hours. Wait, wasn't there one that was addicted to crack or something? Yeah. Was she there? She wasn't there. She stayed home because apparently she had an eating disorder.

What? Why did you laugh? Why did you laugh? You awful saying that. I can't go about it. I heard him fucking smiling. I heard him fucking smiling. I heard him fucking smiling. So for the rest of the night,

past the point of no return, when I am just drunk as shit, one by one, they kind of started going up to me and being like, oh my God, because they were all like, everybody was fucked up. But I still had enough conscience in my head to go it would be really funny if i just pretended i had no idea who they were like hey man big shot youtuber i'm sorry i can't remember everybody it was so fun

to watch did you actually do that yes oh fuck them oh yeah i oh yeah sorry i wasn't nice to the girl who cheated on me three years ago david i apologize no but yeah i mean that's the story and then they all um and then one of them in particular i remember talking to for a while and i think i put on a portuguese accent just to fuck with her. And then when I got home, she was like, I woke up to messages from her and she was like sending pictures of selfies we took. Because I think she was trying to send me

selfies of us together because she was like, oh, when he sobers up, he'll remember me. But then when I got up, I was like, oh yeah, I was doing this shtick. So I just replied with, sorry, who is this? Just like, you guys like like arm over shoulder and shit like that just like sorry and then she was like oh I'm

blank and then we I'm fat Albert and we met up last night sorry black Albert and we met up last night oh my fucking god I knew you David you have to keep it in. I'm not letting you get rid of it. And then...

I misspoke. I have power too, David. Jesus. Fucking Clash of Titans. So at that point, I do the thing I do when I wake up for most nights out and I go,

hey, if I did any dumb shit then I apologize in advance because the moment I touch anything alcoholic, the out and I go, hey, if I did any dumb shit, then I apologize in advance. Because the moment I touch anything alcoholic, the next morning I remember fucking nothing. Doesn't matter how little or how drunk I get. I remember nothing. And she goes, oh, no, you're good. You kept talking about how hot your girlfriend is. I was like, yes.

And apparently all I did was I went on my phone and I was drunkenly stumbling and trying to show her pictures of my girlfriend. Like, oh, fucking hot she is. Apparently that's all I did for that whole conversation. And yeah, besides that, yeah. So how many of your exes did you pull this off on?

At least four. Damn. A four for one. How do you run into four exes at once? Confined British. You date in your fucking friend circle bro i mean that's always such a good idea the thing is the way my school works it's a european school so you don't really interact with anyone like because you're all sectioned off in the you know nationalities i was in the portuguese section english kids were in the english section wait wait wait wait you hang out with them at recess and all that shit like when nationalities. I was in the Portuguese section. English kids were in the English section. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You hang out with them at recess and all that shit.

Oh! You said it. It sounded like cigarettes. It sounded very official. You're saying that we're separated as in, for example, our science classes. God damn it.

No, it's decidedly unequal yeah thank you cameron you get what i'm fucking trying to say whatever fucking all of our science classes were taught the same curriculum very equal it was purely for efficiency and safety. The only difference was the Italian science class, they had to teach it like slightly slower. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. Never dated any Italian girls, by the way. I could not meet a single one that didn't have a unibrow.

It was actually disgusting. Oh, my God. Oh my God. Yeah, you're still concerned about Black Albert, David? Yeah, I'm not at all. At least I misspoke. Man, why is this podcast 40 minutes of white noise? White noise and Black Albert.

The video feed just turned into snow at one point well it's because he's shorter than me so he likes the shorter water fountain oh yeah i saw oh no i don't do i want to say this yes oh you're in so deep already ed no is it bad for you okay wait saying we're in so deep doesn't mean we should go any deeper. Kyle, eventually this podcast will hit bedrock. Every once in a while, I think about the original Oh No, and I'm like, man, that's fucking quaint. Yeah, that was tame

as shit. Because this one isn't necessarily something I did bad that night. This one is just I saw someone that reminded me of probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, no.

I'm cracking one open for this. No, I'm not telling it. I'm just saying I'm not telling. Once we hit rock bottom, eventually we'll come out the other side. If we hit rock bottom, we have to bounce. How that works. Exactly. Yeah. It involves an amputee.

Okay. This is making it more interesting, but I'm afraid... I'm not saying you told the story. No, I'm saying no. I'm putting my foot down. Ed, I cannot believe you amputated Black Albert. That's so crass.

Is this the ICU story? What? Oh no, the ICU story was just B. That's so crazy. Is this the ICU story? What? Oh, no. The ICU story was just paid. That was like David being like, man, our stories make us sound like criminals. And then I just went, oh, right. The ICU story. But no, I don't have an ICU story and I don't have an

amputee story either. But that was pretty much it. We just went out. We didn't really do much. We just hung around. Nothing crazy happened. It's because really once you're past your 20s, you stop doing crazy shit. Yes.

You're past your 20s? No, I said past 20s is what I meant. But yeah, at least to the level where we're like shitting in corners and hiding them. I think that was just a you thing, though. That wasn't very much of a you thing, buddy.

No, yeah, that's what I'm saying. That was my bar for weird shit. Now when I go out, it's like it never gets that weird anymore. I cannot stop thinking about amputated Black Albert. What did you do? What did you do? What did you do? There was a time we pretended that Demetrius

was amputated. I mean, I'm down to say it, but I would rather this doesn't go public. Sure, whatever. It'll just be a long bleep and us reacting. No, wait, we're, this is a bait. We're baiting it. We're gonna make it go public. It's not criminal,

but it's technically. Then it's fine. I have to know, Ed. I'm on Ed's side. No, I have... Fuck you, Kyle. No, like, you'll genuinely think less of me. I already think nothing of you. What does that mean?

What is thinking less of you involved? Ed, what do you think we feel about you? Did you kill an amputee? What the fuck did you do? Well, no, because he was there. What? What did that mean? The fuck are you saying?

As in he's not dead because he was there that night, like a week ago. What the fuck happened? What did you do to the amputee? Did you steal his leg? Dude. Oh no. No. What?

The silence and the I'm not comfortable. I'm straight up not saying it. Okay. Can we keep everything that just happened in? Yes. So a limb was taken. We need to create a new fucking... We need to create a new chat in the fucking

PSD Discord server to theorize on what it is. I'm going to go ahead and create it right now. I'm just going to call it EdTheories. EdTheories. I mean, we can just do that right now. What do you guys think happened? Let's go. I think...

Man, EdTheories has been made. It's going directly under the podcast channel and right above memes and shit posting. Perfect. You put it on the PST server. That's what you mean.

Oh, Jesus Christ. He did it. That's what I meant. Analyzing the situation, I think that Ed took a prosthetic limb and put a bunch of alcohol in it and took a big swig out of it and then handed it back. Oh, that's not I was going to say. Put a bunch of alcohol in it and took a big swig out of it and then handed it back.

Oh, that's not what I thought. You know what? Let's make a game out of this. I'll actually reply with yes or no. Okay. Say yes or no. So no. Come on. And I'll give you a hint. He does not have prosthetic limbs.

Okay. I'll give you... I will describe the guy. He was a prosthetic. Eden does not have prosthetic limbs. Okay. Okay, I'll give you I'll give you, okay. Did you steal a wheelchair? I will describe the guy. He was missing an arm. No prosthetics. Just missing an arm. Okay. And I did not do anything physical

to him, because I assume that's where you're all gonna go. Yes. Okay. Did you, like, comment on his, like, stub? Go on. okay did you like comment on his like stub go on i did you make fun of him for it go on what did he take it badly i don't want to i don't want to like say something I feel like I feel like knowing So nothing happened it sounds like he made fun of the nub

I feel like he made fun of the nub The amputee got mad And then when he got mad Ed replied With something like what are you gonna do Punch me? I wish I did that That's not bad I don't know, man.

Kind of fucked up. Did you drop some pencils or something and say, pick it up? No. Well, no. But I'm just thinking if I should drop another hint or if that's enough. Can I just say what I did and then you, David, you'll just resume the recording from the moment I end the story? Okay. How about we say what I did and then we you David you'll just resume the recording from the moment I end the story

Okay, how about we like we need the end theory chat and we'll only release the audio if someone guesses it correctly in Ed theories Yeah, okay, so basically Wow wow without it so for this segment for this segment David what I think you should do is just cut Ed's feed but keep all of ours and replace it with the like

the Charlie Brown yeah yeah yeah so So... Oh, no. Oh, my God. I would like confirmation, though. Yeah. Yeah, please give confirmation.

Yes. Oh my god. You're a fucking psychopath. That's so advanced. This is advanced. What the fuck? You're a lunatic Oh my god Oh my Fucking god

But you just went straight You went You went straight for Wow That was it I forgot that there are numbers lower than zero you went straight for wow that was it I forgot that there are numbers lower than zero yeah you're right nobody's ever gonna fucking figure that one out

there's no way there's literally no way but yeah which is why it was really weird when I saw him he didn't instantly like punch me in the balls I was like oh he doesn't know it was me that's is that the only hit we're letting people

have what yeah there you go Ed's feet is back oh wait sorry kick me in the balls oh it's the same joke I made. Yo, David, cut Avery's joke.

Well, where do we get from there, huh? I'm not sure. Man, I'm sweating at the thought of David not cutting that story. Say Black Albert. You'll remember. Yeah, dude.

I have a fucking spidey sense for that. No, you don't. No, I don't. Oh, for Black Albert? Yeah, okay. I thought you meant for cutting shit. No, not for cutting shit. For Black Albert.

Okay, because I was like, how the fuck dare you say you have a spidey sense for that? I forgot twice. It's like fucking long-ass recordings. You forgot a good bit, dude. Not gonna lie. No. Again, the secret ad, call him Black Albert. Yeah, call him Black Albert.

That'll get it censored. Okay, the cripple's name was Black Albert. The only way to wake David up is to make it something that he wants censored for his own benefit give a fuck about the rest of us why did I say it like that scene from Fight Club his name was fat Albert I feel like I I can never like be like oh I don't know if I want to tell the story anymore it's just like it's like oh yeah hang on we should actually talk about that

so we promised for oh no it's 50k not 50th episode should we talk about how that's it's again it's like how it's so quaint compared to the shit we've talked about since. It's even more fucking tame than Oh No by a lot. That story is good.

Wait, the one I just told? Which one's Oh No? No, no, no. The Cameron's story. Oh No is Cancer Mom. I'm just talking about it now. I don't think we should say that story was good. I think we should just say our standards have dropped so fucking low. I thought it was about it now. I don't think we should say that story was good. I think we should just say our standards have dropped

so fucking low. No, it's just we are standards as people. Not as like podcasters. Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Podcaster is the worst thing I've heard. I think that Cameron's story was pretty good. I think the supplemental

videos were fucking amazing. I feel like we can just tell I wish I could share supplemental videos were fucking amazing I feel like we can just tell I wish I could share the videos I feel like we can just tell that story now I feel like it's fine you want me to tell it? I mean fuck it 50k is never happening go ahead

this must have been 2017 I was 18 at the time the age of discovery I'm pretty sure This must have been 2017. I was 18 at the time. The age of discovery. I'm pretty sure I lied last time I told it. That was creepy, David. But anyway. I think I said I was, it was like a year earlier when I, because I didn't, because I'm pretty

sure when I told the story, it happened like three weeks ago. And I just didn't, I just didn't want it to seem like I was, like, a fucking... No, like, I didn't want it to seem like I was a fucking, like, like, an idiot. Because, like, I just, like, started talking to you guys, and you guys invited me onto a podcast. So... So Past Cameron used Past Cameron to get out of actually...

But now that Past Cameron's dead... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I now that past Cameron's dead. Yeah, I killed him. Yeah, okay. So we're in present Cameron territory now. There was a few friends were, I don't know. I don't know why, but they were just talking shit about, because like at the time we had a friend who was a boxer. And I think someone like talked shit about how they could

like i could actually probably beat you in a fight or something like that which is like the dumbest thing like talking shit naturally yes yeah yeah i think and and then um uh then they were like all right let's set up like a fight or like just do like a fight club thingy and and and and uh then so then i like what am what are my friends like your camera do you want to fight me and i'm like i'm like uh okay i don't know why i i don't know why at the time i i said yes because like in in retrospect it's just like really fucking stupid what joining a fight club uh yes uh joining a fight club so um we set dates for like two weeks from that time and uh the location was uh actually was i at high school no it was 2016 because i was still at high school um uh so we set the location for the field out the back of our high school

so we so uh last time you told this there was way less detail oh yeah last time you told this there was less detail but yeah this is this is a fight club evolves yeah it evolves okay this is the this is the the prequel to the video that you guys saw. Okay. So it's out on a field open in the open air. And the dude that I'm fighting on the day, I did some very basic training. I hit a wall with some punching gloves. I don't know what the fucking Cameron training was like, Jack.

Yeah, I watched him like Rocky like training videos. Like, yeah, I can do that or some shit. But I showed up and the guy had a fucking uh baseball a waiver he came he came with printed waivers what this was so much more official than he made it what the fuck he brought consent way worse than last time he said it no because this is hold up this is unraveling like you'll understand uh okay so me being anything feels like you're all right so i signed a waiver essentially saying like i take full responsibility for like you know if i get hit or like knocked out or die or whatever and um and so there's two fights for this this one

specifically and we're out on field and it just rained so the the ground's fucking muddy as well which is what i remember so that was pretty great and uh so i we we just had like a bunch of a big group of people just form a circle around us so i guess people i people wouldn't see if they're like but like we're in the middle of the field so they would just see a fucking giant circle a group of fucking teenagers screaming and so i pulled through my like boxing gloves also i just want to i just want to state this right now. In Fight Club, this is how it literally starts. Without the waiver, this is

literally how the Fight Club gets formed. Sorry. Wait, Cameron, is this the boxer dude, the guy you're fighting? No, I'm fighting a dude who's as untrained as me. I'm not a fucking idiot. Hold up. I signed a waiver fucking tell kyle

no i knew i knew i i was gonna fight someone where like i wouldn't completely eat shit uh like it's because but uh anyway i pull my gloves out and they're like regular boxing gloves uh like training gloves like they have like padding and then the guy i'm fighting pulls out and he pulls out fucking mma gloves oh god i don't know if you know anything about mma gloves they're really yeah they're really thin very thin they have no padding and i I'm like, what the fuck? And then he says, yeah, bro, it's MMA. And I'm like, oh, fuck. What the hell? So Cameron's punching the dude with pillows, basically. Yeah.

So the person who is the ref is the professional boxer who's going to fight the next round. So we, you know, like we car gloves and then we start fighting so i got my fist up i got like into a fucking uh muay thai starts because that's the that's what i was like you got into a muay thai what and we we got my god we we like start grabbing it we we start hitting each other and shit uh which is which is pretty sick uh don't know if you know but hitting people's pretty sick i don't know sorry um did you did you wait, according to, according to the people, the people who are watching, I was winning for like a bit, uh, which,

Oh no. Okay. I know where this is going. For a bit. That modifier. The winner never says that sentence right there. Yeah. So,

and then like, uh, it's really fucking tiring and you you get tired really quick fighting. Especially when you're, like, grappling as well. And just, like, you can go to the ground. So I just, like, I get quite tired. I start, like, leaving my guard down. My punches are taking longer, right?

And then he lands a punch, like, square on my fucking cheek. And people in here know I wear glasses, but for this I was wearing contacts because I'm not fucking stupid. But he actually punches me so hard that my right contact flies out of my face. I need fan art of this fucking fight. And lands in, like, the muddy ground.

And I'm like, well like well shit i can't i i and then i think he hits me one more time before i like yell ref because i'm like i i actually have no depth you got a cinematic punch filter applied in real life whoa i i was like so that's that's how it's really shitty ending to my fight but like that's how it ended because it's like they literally your fight ended when you called ref well yeah because no because my contact fell out because I said to the ref like I can't see I have no depth perception after that right so like I literally can't fight and yeah do you know what the funny thing is the ref said to me oh you can't just put it back in and like i like show him in my hand the contact that i found and it's got like specks of mud in it and i'm like no bro and then uh so that that that happens i lose the

fight there uh which you know whatever and then the next fight happens and i'm pretty sure the boxer just like actually just fucking killed, like, just ruined him, like, pretty quickly. And then after that shit happens... Wait, I have a question. Was it one of those, like, anything goes? Like, were you hitting the fucking face? No, you can't hit...

You were hitting the face, yeah. But you couldn't, like, hit, like, kidneys and shit like that. Cameron got hit in the face so hard his contact got... Usually it's, like, below the bell. You can't punch below the bell. Yeah, below the belt as face, yeah. But you couldn't hit kidneys and shit like that. Cameron got hit in the face so hard his contact got lost. It's like below the belt. You can't punch below the belt. Yeah, below the belt as well, yeah. So, after that happens... Wait, hang on. You said below the belt? Hang on. Cameron, you said below the belt as well, yeah.

Do you mean that you can hit below the belt? No, you can't. You can't. Okay. So, after their fight, people go like, oh oh we should do this again and I'm like why wait how much of an audience

did you have how many people showed up to this stuff I want to say like 16 people that's fucking stupid one of the rules of Fight Club is you can't watch without participating. Okay. They weren't operating on Fight Club rules.

This is fucked up. We weren't operating on Fight Club rules. Sorry. I can't believe you had paperwork and you still weren't actually operating on Fight Club. Yeah, right. This is fucked up. So, they're like, all's where they want to do it again they want to schedule it again or something so this is where that video and the original

story that i that i that i told comes from where uh we go go to this party and essentially like out of town in this like fucking farming area um and and everybody's drinking now so there's alcohol involved oh fuck and there is this tiny fucking uh like barn how do you describe it just like a

it was a chimney it looked like a yeah it looked like a tiny barn y'all were fighting in a chimney it was a tiny it was a tiny brick. Y'all were fighting in a chimney. It was a tiny... It was a tiny brick shed. It was so fucking small. And just loaded it filled with fucking people. Like, the ring that they actually, like, were fighting in was so fucking small.

And it was literally just this professional boxer guy beating drunk people. Oh, boxer guy was sober, by the way i was sober by the way yeah and he was sober he was sober driving like he was completely sober it was really fucked but i i so i i wasn't uh participating again because like i got beat up the first time i was like i don't know oh this isn't for me i don't know about this but i'll happily film it Cameron is the worst Fight Club participant Ed is so angry with him right now Ed just messaged me

in DMs and said I just ripped ass really hard can you keep that out take that out are you kidding me I'm fucking keeping that in I literally muted and whispered David I'm sorry I really have to fart Can you bass boost it please?

David I muted I really have to fart Oh my god I'm sorry I was just laughing so much Okay go on It was just so bad like i just like yeah now it was just like him just beating the shit out of all these people who are untrained fucking intoxicated in this tiny fucking area with basically no protection whatsoever like i'm pretty sure no sure nobody had any, like, what are they? Gloves. Gloves? Or things that go in your mouthguards. Mouthguards.

You know what I think the problem was the second time? What? I didn't fight. No paperwork. Yeah, no paperwork. True, no paperwork the second time. Didn't happen. There's no paper trail. Are you gonna share the video again?

Yeah, I'll try'll try I was thinking maybe I can go through with like and try and blur out all of the faces oh my god potentially

I think you should just send us the video right now yeah just send it to the people didn't I post it in here already

I like that the two videos were reacting to it oh wait I have it I have it it. I have it right here. You have it right here? Can you repost it? Kyle, repost it. I can't find it on my computer. The worst one. Fight clubs.

It was literally like people were just getting pushed up. In the ring was people and it was packed full. So when somebody got pushed to the side, they just pushed them back in. Oh, there it was, like, packed full. So, like, when somebody got pushed to the side, they just pushed them back in. Oh, there it is.

Oh, fuck. There it is, the chimney. And there was no... Jesus Christ. There was, like, base... And the ref this time didn't know what the fuck they were doing. Like, had never refed anything, obviously. Wait, who's the boxing guy? Is it the shirtless guy?

Shirtless guy. Yeah, oh, yeah, he's fucking shirtless as well. Oh, they did have gloves? Oh yeah. Dude, this room is like 10 by 12 and it's just full of people. I forgot how fucking even more tiny than I remember. The guy on the left is so fucking wasted. He's so

fucking drunk, dude. He's just like wildly swinging his fists. Oh god, it's so his fists. Oh, God. It's so fucked up. Oh, my God. They're so close. The boxer's going a little easy on him.

Yeah, he is. Like, you can tell. Either he's going easy on him or he's like full of shit. Also drunk. But you know he's so into himself. Oh, he's so into himself. Apparently, never won an actual like boxing fight. Oh, God. an actual like boxing fight like oh my god so like it's it's just like him like just

fucking flexing his ego on fucking drunk shit like it's it's just so oh my god also there's just like bottles there's just like bottles like sitting around it's like oh Jesus Christ. Oh my god. There's stage hazards This isn't even a real fight there's no pinfall or anything i didn't see an entrance like the girl's six inches away from the fight just putting on chapstick yeah um apparently happened again as well recently like what like last year i didn't go to i didn't go to it but i did see like he wasn't there because he's he's in the army now. Serving and protecting. The next one's going to be a pay-per-view on Facebook Live. Oh, God.

Facebook streamer energy. Yeah, I didn't go to the most recent one, but fucking Christ. Apparently someone's dad was involved. If he had Facebook... Someone's dad was involved? What? Wait, what'd you say? I don't know. Apparently, I didn't go.

I can't confirm. I can't confirm. That's right. We're having a My Dad Can Beat Your Dad fight. In this corner, Mr. Johnson. Dude, I would love a dad fight club. Dad fight club sounds fucking sick. Dad fight club, but it's just fantasy football.

We're going to call this the Barbecue Match. Make your team of dads. But it was really weird because there's just this fight going on and then there's just bullshit teenage drama to my right of like, uh, he hooked up with someone else. I was like, oh.

Uh, he hooked up with some guy with one arm. Hey, come on, man. While this dude is getting his shit fucking beat out of him. It's like one moment, like, this girl's crying about, like, her boyfriend, and then the next moment some drunk dude fucking falls on him because it's knocked out. It's like... She's like...

She's... I'm imagining her, like, crying about her ex, and she turns around and goes yeah kick his ass yeah and then she's fucking pounding back like api's like api ipa you fucking idiot

thank god the crowd was thank god the crowd was as uninterested as they were cause like if I feel like if they hyped this boxer dude up at all, he would just go on and on this kid. Oh, he went on and some other people fucked them up. I was like, Jesus. I can't believe he said poogers.

You guys want to start a fight club? I'm down. I just want to beat you up. Okay, how about this? A fight club that's over the internet and we just do it through words and it's me versus the Patreon questions. Okay. That sounds good to me.

Sick way. That sounds good to me. That was hot. Do you have any picked out, David, then? No. Why do you even ask? Oh, wait, you haven't been here for the past couple episodes,

but yeah, why do you even ask? Couple? Welcome back, Cameron and kyle by the way oh yeah wait welcome back uh thank you kyle what's your favorite uh what's your favorite flavor wait who asked that what brendan me oh welcome to brendan questions if you're brendan you can ask a question. Okay, what's your favorite? Hey, Ed, what's your favorite flavor?

Flavor of what? What's your favorite flavor? White chocolate. Oh, fuck, epic. White chocolate's fucking delicious, David. Shut up. You. Ma Booger asks, what's your favorite game to play while drunk and or otherwise intoxicated slash impaired?

I really like Box Fighting. I really like Boxer. Fighting. Wait, which question is it? It was Mob Booger asks, what's your favorite game to play while drunk or otherwise intoxicated or impaired? I got one. Buzz on the PS2 or PS3.

That game is amazing to play while drunk. One of the only times I got high, I had a really good time the PS2 or PS3. That game is amazing to play while drunk. I love that game. One of the only times I got high, I had a really good time playing Madden. That's how I knew I was high. Smash is phenomenal, honestly, when you're fucking high.

When the stages move, you feel that shit. That's what they told all the kids at the convention. Mine for me is Seek Era just cause like I had such a good time when I played that with friends like we did this we were doing shots and we did double or nothing on the

revive so like you could take a revive but if you die again if your revive comes back before you die again then you only have to do one shot but if you die again, if your revive comes back before you die again, then you only have to do one shot. But if you die before it comes back, you have to do two. That is so good.

It was really fun and really good rules, and I just had an absolute blast playing it. That's an amazing fucking drinking game. It's a really good game mode. And because Sekiro Dark Souls, it gets harder, harder obviously the more drunk you get but sakira it's really harder just because of the timing required for um parry so much tighter than like a dodge so yeah that's really fucking good

play lego island and smash my helicopter into the ocean over and over yes yes show me the pain which games did i play oh yo okay so game for when i'm drunk is buzz game for when i'm high rayman origins rayman origins i can see that yeah dude i played it at a friend's place and we had like a fat zoot that was just completely pure no no tobacco and we were just the highest fuck we played so much rayman origins and then we were just the highest fuck. We played so much Rayman Origins. And then we watched the notebook together. It was really gay. Did you hold hands? No. Why?

No, we were like on separate beds. We were trying on separate beds. Did you even watch the notebook then? Yeah. What about you? Definitely Rayman? Yeah. What about you? Definitely Rayman Origins. What about you, Kyle?

I definitely think it's Counter-Strike because either one of the two things happened. Counter-Strike is really good. Counter-Strike while drunk is pretty fun, yeah. Counter-Strike while drunk, I either get really good at aiming or at least think I'm really good at aiming. And that's the best. And the toxicity doesn't get to you because

you're drunk. You feed into it. It's beautiful. I just call everyone Black Albert when I'm drunk. When you're drunk. I'm not going to name names, but man some of these are shit. Riley Audette said, which asked, which member of the podcast are you most ashamed of being associated with?

Everyone together now. Guys, come on. What about you, Ed? Member of the podcast? Oh, so it's one of us? Yeah. What about you? One of the seven people here.

Most ashamed of being associated with? Yeah. Hmm. yeah what about you most ashamed of being associated with yeah hmm uh Ed you can say Ed I was gonna say I'm trapped here it's so fucked up I wish

Harry was a host so I could say him cause I don't want my audience to think I'm an SJW. And I don't think you need to worry about that. They just watch your videos. Yeah, it's me. I don't like

myself. Don't make it sad. Fucking asshole. Don't make it sad fucking ass fucking asshole don't make it sad Riley Odette has what's the has asks has asked what got to this internet rabbit hole each of you have gone down what what is this DSP lore oh mine has to be chris chan easy then no sonic saltimate harem um mine is um mine is probably what what are they fucking called the weird one

that we we were watching at one point and it's just like Disney characters that are like, that are fucking MEPs. Oh, the MEPs. MEPs, MEPs. Do those count? That might be it for me then. I think MEPs is it for me. MEP, we went down a

fucking hole with that one. Started finding some fucking strange ones. I don't know. Remember the Croods? No, the best one, the croods one is good the wait is the cruise one the one with jack frost and the guy from tangled yeah okay no that is the best one he's riding the fucking horse but he's the ones with he's not banging the guy from Frozen. He's banging Jack Frost. Yeah. No, no, no. He is the guy from Frozen.

You're right. Jack Frost is watching in jealousy. You're right. You're right. You're right. I misremembered it. You were right. I went down this rabbit hole.

My name's Avery. Yeah. MEPs are fucking something else. They're a curiosity for sure. Kyle? I don't... I can't think of one, to be that's fitting you ever saw something weird on the internet and when i must see more of this oh i mean like i've watched a lot of things but not

like dug deep into a deep dark rabbit hole i don't want to i don't i think you're hiding something i think there's something deep down that you were obsessed with for a moment, and you just kept watching more and more videos. Everybody's done this. I've watched a lot of happy birthday videos. What the fuck? I just one day. All right.

So, like, I don't know. I found those, like, auto-generated happy birthday videos, and I think I spent, like, an entire day just watching those. Oh, I thought you were talking about like you were watching india i thought i thought you were like the happy birth like the rant like the generated happy birthday brendan dude did it did it it's your birthday like those ones just watching the same one with different names okay i thought you were talking about like you were watching you were watching YouTube videos of people saying happy birthday to somebody like home videos. And I was like, that's fucked. No, I mean, those definitely exist.

I don't know if it's any less fucked, but like just a lot of happy. There are just so many random YouTube channels that make a series of happy birthday videos. So I just watched a lot of them. I just look up my name or random names and just keep them in my head. The Night 130, please contact me. I will voice something. Shut up!

Yeah, besides DSP, it was just videos of chimpanzees being electrocuted. What the fuck? What the fuck, dude? That's not real. Do you have a playlist for that? I'll add it to the Gorilla Channel playlist. Fuck it.

I guess it fits. That'll be our new ambiance next time we hang out. Oh, great. What, chimps? Yeah. You're going to open the door and just hear like chimpanzee screeches, electricity noises. You say that like it would be remotely fucking strange compared to the shit that I usually open the door to there. Yeah, that's fair.

What's the weirdest thing you've opened the door to? Probably Dimitri in a hazmat suit, Mandy wearing a night helmet, and they are listening to Chinese ambiance, and they bow when they greet me. What the fuck? That was a good fucking day. What's with the hazmat suit? I don't know. Dimitri got that when the coronavirus started in like

February. He was well prepared before anyone else. Oh my god. He was following the deep war on it he knows something we don't that wouldn't surprise me it's fucking Dimitri jeez oh no

I'm trying to find the other ones choose four wait no I'm trying to find the other ones. Choose four... Wait. Say the... No. All right. Choose four people... Say the name.

...for your perfect quarantine... Say the name, dipshit. Oh, Solari. Solari asks, choose four people for your perfect quarantine household. Dimitri. Yeah, I also choose him.

I also choose Dimitri. I choose Dimitri, Mandy, and Ed honestly You're trading for a fuck time I know that's what I want Ed I need stories I choose Dimitri DSP Oh wait this doesn't have to be in the circle, then.

This can be anybody. It can be anyone. I still choose Dimitri. I still choose Dimitri. Wait, we're picking four people, right? Yeah. Okay, I choose Dimitri, DSP, and... Sky Williams.

I was just going to say Sky Williams. God. Do I get to decide where each of them stays? Yes. Well, you don't have my bagel bites. I'm going to start smashing up masks. So, Oh my God.

Oh, Jesus. Oh God. So, so I'm the, the house chieftain so I pick Dimitri and DSP they both stay in the same bed um I crash on the couch

that's such an incredible thought holy fuck that's so fucking powerful and Ouija can stay in the garage I feel like we don't even have to go yeah we don't need to yeah he's got it he's absolutely got it holy shit

wait where did you put Sky Williams yeah wait where did you put Sky Williams no that wasn't me. Oh, who's putting... Okay, so Cameron and Kyle have to go. Cameron and Kyle, you two are living together for this quarantine stupid thing. Perfect. One of them is Sky Williams.

One of them is Sky Williams. Of course. This is so... Did you know the droids in Star Wars are 5,000 years old? Dude, shut up. I'm trying to sleep. Oh, my God. Just picturing Ed being around Dimitri alone, like even without DSP in the picture,

is so fucking powerful. Just because he would fucking torment him. Dimitri is trying to sleep and DSP's just in his ear going, Look, I'm an honest guy. Fuck. I really want to fucking pick DSP as well. You can. Well, I'm going to pick David and Charles because they're just a combo that is

too perfect. I mean, Cameron, David and Charlie are living under Sky Williams' roof. I already have a good answer for you. Besides Sky Williams, you're just not there yet. I was thinking, I want Boogie.

No, no. I wouldn'togie. No, no. I wouldn't know. Can I complete Cameron's answer? Sure. Sky Williams, Nairo, and Lieutenant Corbis, and then just see what happens. Oh, my God. Ed, what the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? Ed's opening a fucking coliseum. There was no shit I didn't even think of that. What the fuck? What the fuck? Ed's opening a fucking coliseum. No shit I'd never think of that. Ed, what is wrong with you where your brain went there? God. Jesus. What a harrowing fucking thought.

More or less harrowing than Dimitri sharing a bed with DSP. I mean, that's funny. That's what's funny to think about. That's true. That's funny. How much alcohol is in the house with Dimitri and DSP? Because DSP might die.

I'm trying to imagine Dimitri's like the teaching figure. No, no, dude. DSP is an alcoholic. You're good. So much alcohol. Dude, how are they even flying Star Wars? It's bullshit. Let me tell you.

They're going to have a fucking fist fight in the living room. A drunken fist fight in the living room between Demetrius and DSP. DSP in a fist fight? Have you seen Try to Turn Around? Have you seen him try to turn around? Have you seen the Project 7 intro? I have. Fuck Project 7. I always forget about it,

and then Ed reminds me. It's so... I've seen it like 12 times. He's very short. He has a very low center of gravity. He's hard to take down. He's huge. And then when you do take him down,

he has a second chance from Black Ops 1 and then he whips out the Gears of War gun and he shoots you in the dick. What if he just comes back up like one of those clowns you knock over? Just... His center of gravity is his heels. Dmitry would fucking get DSP.

Like, he scares me just like opening a door when I don't expect him to be there yeah he was on my balcony once and I didn't know he was there and you just open the door to come in and it scared the fuck out of me yeah I was there I remember that oh yeah that's right that was fucking great it was I was like oh I guess he went home I was sitting in the fucking living room uh fucking Mandy came out of his bedroom because we had gotten really fucked up the night before and he looks at me and he's like oh hey where's like that was it he didn't ask

anything so I didn't tell him because I knew where Dimitri was but like he goes and starts walking toward the kitchen and then the fucking balcony door opens and Dimitri just like thunders in

and the fucking orphan of cause music starts playing Dimitri just, dun, dun, like, thunders in. And the fucking Orphan of Cause music starts playing. What? Like, as in, as a joke, or did it actually start playing? No, it didn't. It didn't actually start to play. It's just something that Mandy and I talk about is the way we get a sense when Dimitri is coming is when we start to kind of hear boss music in our head. Remember in Project 7 where DSP's friend goes, I'm a VFX artist, then he opens his bag and a Goomba JPEG jumps out of it?

Oh my god. Yes, I do remember how you made me watch it. I barely remember. We were super fucking drunk or maybe i was drunk i don't remember project seven is what the nostalgia critic wishing wishes he made honestly yeah i wish i made that oh are you the nostalgia critic what is going on there there's actually just one joke. Every time I watch Project 7, there's always one joke that always gets me.

And it's randomly one of the times where Deathface, you know, the main villain, one of the times that he goes away after taunting DSP like, I took all your gaming powers. And then he just goes, take that, bitches. And then he disappears. With the fucking, like, deep voice modulator, it always fucking

gets me. So, you know, that's a hit. DSP can write. That might be more delivery than the writing. Yeah, maybe. Are we doing Patreon questions? I'm just talking about project center someone else gonna pick one yeah i'm trying to find the second episode is just dsp playing video games and then his friends going oh my god he really did take all your gaming powers but they're just playing footage from his old let's plays so it's like what's the what's the

wait what are you trying to say here wait what is i don't remember this alex steer, what's the, what's the, wait, what are you trying to say here? Wait, what is, I don't remember this. Alex Steer asked, what's a weird fact or thing, you know, similar to Avery's spider boner comment? What spider boner comment? Spider boner comment? What is spider boner? Did I talk about spider boners? Probably. Do you know anything about spider boners?

What do I know about spider boners? Well, you know something that we don't. Is this knowledge that's locked deep within sober avery's brain uh lock it i don't know about spider boners oh the space between your balls and your asshole is called the merriam the merriam yeah they commonly refer to as the taint weird fact there used to be a show called Sanford and Sons and Red Fox used to say, I'm coming,

Elizabeth, to fake a heart attack on a set for a cast party for a completely different television show that Red Fox worked on. He had an actual heart attack and yelled, I'm coming, Elizabeth, and everybody thought it was a gag and he died.

Why would he say that? Fun fact, in the Dark Knight when Joker sets off the bombs, he actually stayed in character the whole time because the bombs didn't actually go off. Did you know the Joker movie actually shot Robert De Niro? Did you know movies are shot on film sometimes?

Crazy shit. Weird fact. You know air has some oxygen in it? Crazy fact. I'm laughing just because I remember how much I pissed you off with that tweet. Did you know that in Django Unchained, when Leonardo DiCaprio smashes that black guy's skull, he actually cuts his hand and then Quentin Tarantino was like oh fuck yeah bro

The last entire half hour of Pulp Fiction was improv I like to believe all the mocap in Happy Feet is improv All of the mocap in Ruby is done by dogs for kung fu panda jack black lived for six months as a Japanese man before learning that pandas were in China

did you know that the sex scene from last of us 2 was actually mocap by Neil Druckmann people actually think that People actually think that. People actually think that. That's the joke, Cameron. Cameron, I don't know if you've picked up on it, but most of the things we've been saying are things that people think

are true. Like the Joker thing. Which, by the way, isn't true. Did you know that the Joker was made because Todd Phillips was told he can't make comedies anymore? Oh, my God. Nobody wants The Hangover anymore. It's fucked up. What do you mean he stopped making comedies with The Hangover 3?

He stopped right when it was getting good. Was it getting good? Yeah, Hangover 1 is one of my favorite dramatic masterpieces. I like The Lion. When they wake up? Yeah. It's fucking epic. Did you know Secondhand L lines is actually a sequel?

Shut up. Shut the fuck up. How dare you fucking reference secondhand lions? What is wrong with you? I feel like when we get to referencing secondhand lions, we know the bit has gone too fucking far. We have to draw. I will draw the line at secondhand lions 10 times out of 10 secondhand lions is the fucking it's it that's the fucking end

it's a movie every calm down fucking universe what are we doing are we are we over is it over are we done did you know that ch Benoit is a murderer? Yes. No. Yes. You said wrestling. You've activated me, you fucking fool. No. Remember in 1998 when Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell 25 feet through an announcer's table and then picked him up and chokeslammed him through the cage again, breaking his jaw and all of his teeth?

Remember when Rey Mysterio killed a guy with a 619? Did you know that they're talking about doing one of the newest matches, which is an eye for an eye match with CGI, and they're going to have one of the wrestlers pull another wrestler's eye out? Yeah, they're going to have Grand Moff Tarkin show up on stage and be the ref. Disney finally buys WWE so I can see Mickey Mouse. And then they're going to wheel out. And then they're going to wheel out. And then they're going to have a fucking ladder match where what's in the briefcase is Carrie Fisher's ashes.

Holy shit. We actually made it to 50 episodes. Thank you so much, guys. It would not have been possible without the crazy amount of support that you guys give us all the time. So I just want to thank you guys. And speaking of thanking, here's a thank, The Scala, Eric Scott Gillies, IK Benjam, Jeff Smith, Manuel Martinez, Marcos Sotelo, Notoriety, Rad Jackal, Rison, Looking Fresh Though, Ryan Rankin, Seeyoung, Sky, Spooky Ghost, Teak, Travis Vapes, Unarmed Toaster,

Vandrick, Warped Observer, and William Oliver. Thanks so much for the support. Hopefully we get to 100 eventually.