Please Stop Talking - Small Mic Millenial | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: November 23, 2018

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Will you join me? But where do I go? You must go to humble.pleasestopshopping.com And please, support the Sharks. Yo, Dobby. It looks like the Harry Potter cat. It's Dobby. I hope it dies too.

Dobby dies? Yeah, sorry. Oh my God. I can't believe you'd spoil that for him yo shout out to like me never getting spoiled harry potter can we clap are you guys oh yeah that's right we're gonna clap i thought we were just going three two one yeah as i was saying like shout out to never being spoiled harry potter like that you know how all that, like, fucking Snape kills Dumbledore shit was happening?

Yeah. I fucking missed out on that because my parents wouldn't let me go on the internet. So, like, dude, that was not on the internet. That was just outside. That was due to complete disinterest. I thought Harry Potter has been shit since day one. Dude, Harry Potter is...

The third one was the only good movie. I will die on that hill. You want to die on that hill? You got a fucking idea for how you're going to intro this? Oh, that's it. It's already going. We're already going. This is episode 30.

Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to the most cursed fucking episode of the podcast. The one where we can't schedule. We can't. We have like technical problems nonstop. Who gives a shit? You know who we are. Here's why Harry Potter sucks dick.

You know who we are. You know what we're about. Here's why Harry Potter sucks cock except for a prisoner of Azkaban. gary oldman you mean the one with the time turner yes gary oldman bird what and time travel was fucking sick wow look at cameron the big harry potter buff i mean don't you have sex with lots of women oh i'm sorry muggles or whatever when i'm in the fucking streets i just called women harry potter has been shit since day one and it has only gotten shittier with how much of a fucking awful person jk rowling is actually hermione had one leg the whole time. Jesus Christ. I like how you changed that so you wouldn't

sound racist. Because what she said was worse? Oh my god. Fuck you, JK Rowling. This is the official JK Rowling calling out No, it's not. You're alone in this fucking ring. I want to have a boxing match with JK Rowling.

Can we set up a boxing match with JK Rowling. Can we set up a boxing match with JK Rowling? For charity. She's probably going to do it. Which charity? Yeah. Oh my god. What the fuck? David!

What? I'm quickly moving on from that. I'm not. I'm quickly moving on from that. The sixth movie... I'm getting rid of that. The sixth movie was probably the biggest fucking pile of shit I've ever... I hated Half-Blood Prince so much.

Not just because the way it ends, because the way it ends is ballsy. It's such a fucking shit-rushed movie. It was awful. Nothing made sense. I think i've only watched two harry potter movies and i remember that i stopped i i stopped in the second movie because i was really young and it was when the cat fucking died and i started crying because i was like no good remember the toilet ghost and dude why Remember the toilet ghost? And the snake?

Why does the toilet ghost look like fucking Harry Potter, dude? And remember when they pulled the fat lady out of the potted plant and then she yells? Wasn't that nice? When it yells in your fucking ear? And then they were like, let's not do it for the

third movie. And then the fourth movie comes up and they're like baited. They open this dragon egg and it's like fucking Christ. How many Harry Potter movies have you seen? All of them except seven part one. You watch seven part two without seven part one? You just watch seven part two? Yeah. Yeah, I just because I was so pissed off when I watched Half-Blood Prince that I went, fuck these movies.

And then my sister, who's a huge Harry Potter fan, she was like, the last one came out. We have to go watch it. This is my childhood. And I'm like, fuck it. I'll probably still understand what happens. And I did. Because turns out the part one of Deathly Hallows was a bigger pile of shit than Half-Blood Prince. Because apparently it's two hours long and nothing fucking happens. They do Dobby dies

That's it. What the fuck stop it It's been fucking years and that shit was spoiled to hell like back when that fucking stuff came out nobody Does I saw more Dobby dies memes than Dumbledore dies memes that she was never seen Spoiler Dobby dies memes than Dumbledore dies memes. That shit was insane. I've never seen a Dobby. Dumbledore was way bigger. Spoiler alert. I didn't see it at all. And if they do, they're idiots. Plus it's fucking Dobby.

He has like two lines. Oh, master, give me a sock. That's about it. That's about all the character development you get. I legitimately heard like eight different people just be like, no,bie dies oh my when you when you were in the theater you heard people cry when dobie fucking died oh yeah when dobie general movie going audiences are fucking stupid i want how did dobie even fucking die i fell asleep while watching Twilight New Moon, right, on the second half. I was watching it with some fucking girl.

I don't remember her name. And then I fell asleep during the second half. And you know why I woke up? I woke up because when the credits rolled, people started fucking clapping. And I wanted to one fucking shit my pants in anger. Was there a standing ovation at the end of fucking Twilight? Twilight knew them, mind you. Is that the one when she gives birth

and the baby bites her? Wait, which one's the second one? Is that New Dawn? It was the second one. Which is the one where she gives birth and the baby bites her? Yeah, then she becomes a vampire because of her It ends with fucking Edward going Bella, you have to marry me and she goes

and then it cuts the credits do they get married i think there's the baby does the baby bite her and when the baby bites her i remember from that fucking movie is i fell asleep when she made out with the wolf kid and then i dozed in and out and i remember waking up and he was like in the vatican shining and i went holy fuck i'm bored and i went back to sleep he was like in the vatican shining and i went holy fuck i'm bored and i went back to sleep he he was in the vatican yeah there's like a secret underground vatican is happening with vampire i've never i've never watched twilight in my life what the fuck there's like a vampire cult and for some they're all like wearing red and shit i don't know dude i fucking i also slept through that movie i don't I kind of want to watch it now.

That sounds insane. Who the fuck cares about Twilight anymore? That shit was so huge when it was coming out. Are there more movies? Are there like spinoffs? That shit was 2000 late, dude. Shut up. Now we're all about Fifty Shades of Grey and whipping muggles, dude.

Oh, my gosh. What the fuck are you talking about, muggles dude Jesus Christ is Fifty Shades over? uh yeah no isn't there a new movie? Fifty Shades Darkest or whatever yeah no that was the last one

no it was Fifty Shades Freed did that even get a did that even get a like a fucking cinema release it was straight to VHS David yeah was it straight to VHS I would actually believe in no I'm pretty sure there were still like

stories about the whole the whole cucumbers in the fucking cinema aisle what i'm pretty sure there's a theatrical release do you not remember that oh do they turn all the cinema chairs in the civians or something no no it's just a bunch of fucking pictures from people cleaning up after uh 50 50 shades movies and there's just like fucking cucumbers in the aisles. Just shoot it at home, you sick fucks. No, people think they're

just bringing them as jokes and just leaving them. But still, that's fucked up. That reminds me when I was a kid to pay I don't know if you guys have that. I don't know if that reminds you of something. You'll see, dude.

When I was a kid, I don't know if you guys have that. Why does that remind you of something? Because it, okay, you'll see, dude. Because like when I was a kid, I don't know if you guys did that, but you can like, like. I'm going to assume I'm going to say no. We had this thing where we could go. I mean, I feel like that's an activity that a lot of places have that where you can finance your trip to like Europe and stuff. Except for you guys, it's probably not Europe. But. What? I was, it was when i was going to france with

my school like my parents would have to pay but i could also help my parents by going to work at a grocery store oh you don't have the school and i remember i remember that we i was bagging groceries and this lady literally only bought vaseline and cucumber and she looked fucking awkward giving me like a she gave me like a dude she gave me five dollars that five dollars was shut up it was like shut up dude you're not saying anything

fucking judge me don't fucking talk yeah no cucumber break how strong does the cucumber have to be dude i don't know how fucking destroyed is your vagina yeah david think about how big a cucumber is for a second please dude i don't know man i'm gay i don't i don't know vaginas yeah but you know cucumbers excuse me i mean That was a deal. Cameron, I feel like

we have the advantage in this argument because we are both very intimate with the vagina. Let's move on to David's story. Let's get out of this hole. What? That was your whole story?

A lady paid five bucks for a cucumber. She gave me five dollars of tip because she didn't want me to say something about her cucumber and Vaseline. And here you are, not saying anything about her cucumber and Vaseline. Dude, I don't give a shit. She's like probably not there anymore. What was her name? Social ID. Old woman at the counter. You guys guys know what to do find her twitter do

your thing oh my god you guys ever shave your dick what's the most what's the scariest part shaving the fucking dick or the balls well i mean obviously the balls it's the balls yeah i don't know yeah because the dick you can like just i don't know i'm gonna be honest i'm gonna be honest the last for the dick you could just look at a picture of casper the friendly ghost and then like you could just like yeah get a yeah half chub and then it's like easier but for like the balls it's always gonna be like you know it's always it's always hard fire. Not literally, but it's very soft, actually. Yeah, it's very soft. And like you got bumps in there.

For me, it's like a lot of moles. Oh, my God. Get that out. Warts. Yeah. Crust. There's bits that are like throbbing. And like mold.

Oh, you said I think you said like green white mold what are you what kind of mold you know you know like when you leave strawberries out and they have like six nine teeth like that nice nice i don't know it's because the reason why i brought this up is because like i'm more scared of the dick now because i i cut myself twice recently you're a dumbass like on the dick that fucking dude i swear to god when you cut when you cut yourself on the dick your voice just something comes out and it's not your voice, dude. Oh, you become falsetto, yeah. Oh yeah, falsetto, dude. I could sing the national anthem if I just cut my cock. For the land of the...

What's the national anthem of Belgium? I don't fucking know. What's the national anthem of Portugal? I mean, I know. What's the national anthem of Portugal? I mean, I know that one. I'm not gonna recite it. Why? Is it racist? Yeah. Is it racist for real? Oh, yeah.

And we still have it for some reason. What, are you shitting me? No, I'm fucking with you. Yes, of course. Why? Come on. What do you mean? Now you're changing your fucking disc dude what am i your fucking personal sony disc player is there any like national anthem that's super racist uh north korea maybe does north korea have i talking like some gamers rise up shit as like your national anthem.

Like some like really obscure country like Istanbul. That's a really obscure country. What do you mean? Like Istanbul? Istanbul, dude. Istanbul? Of all the obscure countries. Is Istanbul a country?

It's a city in Turkey. I'm supposed to. God. What do I look like I know Geo Metro, dude? Mute that. Dude, am I Geometry Wars 2 on the Xbox? I don't know shit about maps. It's a fucking city.

Oh, I was trying to think. Holy shit. don't know shit about maps. It's a fucking city. Oh. I was trying to think of shit. What were you trying to think of? Like an actual country. First of all. Like Africa. The country. No, that's not a country, silly. Hey, David, remember when you pitched

that we could do this podcast because you had a long story? You want me to tell this long story right now i can do it right now do it baby okay so sometimes like sometimes i do audio gigs in montreal and a lot of times those gigs go extremely fucking wrong and last summer last summer i had probably my worst the worst job experience i've ever had in my life it was hell it was at the montreal which is like this big international festival it's huge and my job was to i was working for this like smaller company that was hosting these small uh these small conferences in front of live audiences and it was like this very cozy atmosphere and it was just

really fucking pretentious as fuck and one of the interviews was with an old famous canadian artist who i will not fucking name but a lot of people will already yeah yeah just saying canadian major artist is like a fucking narrowing field yeah i mean i don't care i honestly don't care he was such a fucking shithead okay yeah dude all right so celine dion the sculptor come on call her celine you guys are close okay yeah c Celine Dion, the sculptor. No, come on, call her Celine. You guys are close. The sculptor? Yeah, Celine, the sculptor. Yeah, because she's an artist.

She's the French-Canadian sculpting artist. Anyways, I go, like, I do like normal. I go greet this artist and I'm like, let's call him Mr. Crazy. I go greet Mr. Crazy and I say, hey, I'm David. I'm going to, let's call him Mr. Crazy. I go greet Mr. Crazy. And I say, Hey, I'm David. I'm going to be your audio engineer for tonight. And I explained to him, like, um, we're going to be recording the podcast. Cause there was like a separate thing where my job was actually to record the, this, the session for a podcast. And he's super nice, like super friendly. He's like, Oh, hey, so glad to meet you. And then I say, when you're ready to set up your Laval mic,

I'm going to get you set up. A Laval mic, for those who don't know, is like a really small microphone that you attach to yourself. Like a lot of newscasts. It's the ones you see popping out of people's t-shirts all the time. All the time, yeah, those small ones. And the moment I say, like i'm i'm explaining the procedure and how i'm gonna like clip the microphone i notice like he starts clenching his teeth through his fucking like mouth but like

really hardcore and he looks extremely upset he just shoots out nobody fucking told me that at that point my eyes like i shoot my eyes like straight at the person next to him and i'm like because that person's like the caregiver or whatever because it's a really old man and i'm like do something what is happening and she's like she's like, oh, shit. Hey, don't worry, Mr. Crazy. We got a bunch of your favorite food over there and some fans that want to talk to you. So, like, we're going to go over there and they're going to do their technical stuff. The moment she, the moment the caregiver starts talking to him, he just like, he immediately shoots up with a big smile and he's like

all happy and he goes eat his fucking snacks this is he like afraid of lavelle he's a fucking this is what working with a toddler is like dude and his his caregiver comes back to me she's like don't worry it It's going to be okay. He's getting really up there in age. Sometimes weird stuff happens. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? And it wasn't okay. It was not going okay at all.

Later, I try again because I really need... We're already on a delay because he keeps talking to people and everybody's like hey can we're gonna start the conference if you please and he's like no no no I want to I want to keep talking to these people and I try again I go to him I'm like okay so we really need to set up right now so I I'm thinking like the way I'm going to do it is I'm going to show him the Laval mic and I'm going to show him that it's actually not an intrusive microphone because he doesn't have to hold it. It's literally just, it's sticking there.

It's doing its job. He doesn't have to touch it or do anything. So in my head, I'm like, I'm going to show him that it's literally nothing. I always feel like attaching Lavalier mics is always like a it's like a weird thing just dude it's the most like going on shit yeah i hate it i hate it i hate it because i'm what my teacher told me to do and i've done it only once and it backfired hard is you literally like don't even say anything grab under the shirt install it and that is not what my teacher told me my teachers was kind of a fucking whack job and i did that once

and the person was really upset and i never did it i always ask if like hey if you'd prefer like you can just put this on yeah all you have to do is like go under your shirt and then like clip it to the top most most of the most people don't want that though most people are like what if i do it wrong can you do it for me and i'm like the clip you dumb idiot yeah it's like dude you're not gonna fuck up i swear but anyways i show him the microphone and i'm like he like this is this is's going to, like, you just have to put the clip, this thing to you and clip the microphone to you and that's all you need. And he, like, grabs the microphone from my hands

and he's like, how the fuck are they going to hear me through this small thing? It's so tiny. I need people to hear me. And then he starts fucking screaming. And my boss at the time just comes up to me and she's like, she's like explaining because I was losing my fucking shit. I was getting really pissed at this old guy. And my boss comes over.

She's really calm she explains that nowadays like that this is all you need you only need a small microphone packages exactly how long has it been since he's fucking been in the industry is this like a dude homecoming he's a sculptor he no he's a he makes sculptures but this isn't the weird part of the story yet. It gets fucking wild. So he demands that we get a big microphone that he can actually hold because he wants to hold a microphone. Thing is, my boss says, oh, don't worry, we're going to get one.

And that fucking pisses me off. Because first off, it would take like two hours for me to drive back to the to get the setup he wants at the rental place plus the cost would be like a well above the initial rental cost let's get an ice cream cone and pretend it's a microphone she just she just says don't worry i have an idea idea. Just do your thing and we'll figure it out. At this point, the interview needs to start like right now because everybody's like already sitting down in the venue and the interviewer is there and the artist is,

they're both sitting down. So I'm like, okay, I set up the interviewer. Everything's fine. Then I go to the artist and I'm like, okay, I set up the interviewer. Everything's fine. Then I go to the artist and I'm like, look, while we're getting new microphones, we really need you to like use this microphone for now. But don't worry. We actually have another microphone coming very soon. I'm talking out of my ass. I don't know if this is true.

We got a big boy mic. We got a big boy mic for you dude it's coming you're giving him like a sing star mike oh my level you're in it dude he's but he's still pissed off and this this is probably the most humiliating shit that has ever happened to me he grabs the mic and he looks like he's gonna put it on him and he looks at me and he says, these people did not pay to look at me talking in this small

piece of shit microphone. And then he starts, he just throws it to the fucking ground and starts like pointing and yelling at me and it's completely silent. It's just him yelling at me on stage in front of all these fucking people. I,

I was going to fucking snap. I was not okay with what was happening. And he was like, he was talking about shit like millennials and whatever. I was like, dude, this is millennials and their fucking bitch baby mics these millennials are ruining microphones this is such a fucking this is such a fucking cliche right now and while

i'm getting yelled at in front of the whole audience i just i look at my boss at the corner of my eye and i'm just smiling and i'm like dude you better fucking do something because i'm gonna shit dude i'm gonna fucking lose it and the caregiver finally does something i don't know why she waited that long and she calms him down and things eventually start to go back to kind of normal she sets the microphone for him and we can start recording and like it starts normal and it's like questions like oh the the interviewer asked like oh who are you what do you do and it's like an actual interview it's fucking crazy then i i fucking swear to god he just shuts down like while she's talking he just closes his eyes tilts his head forward and shuts down wait and he's pissed about the little microphone and the fact that people won't be able

to hear him but he's here falling asleep in an interview dude he was like falling asleep and the interviewer was like really awkwardly still talking and then she like kind of stopped and he reboots he he like wakes he like reboots fucking act dude he reboots legit he he got fucking activated i don't know what happened he opened he fucking his eyes just shoot out open and he looks around super confused he picks up the laval mic from his fucking shirt and he starts screaming in it like right into the microphone right into my fucking ears do you have headphones on oh yeah because i have my fucking headphones on and i'm like what the fuck he he's like you people paid for this shit it's time for a real show with real stories and then he the interview the interviewer the caregiver and the boss are all on full-on panic mode oh i thought you were like they were getting a hot railing they're like hell yeah

this is the shit people paid for i was getting hyped because this was like a room full of really like upper class you know you know the type of people that go to these conferences and they're like all super insulted because he's like screaming and being really wacko and then he just he just starts talking about his poly like his poly polygamous poly how do you say that like that he has like multiple wives polygamous polygamous relationship he just starts talking about how many how many wives he has and then he's like he he he starts talking about how he's gonna fuck up every policeman he sees on the street damn straight fuck the pigs dude he legit says this guy like 80 he's like 80 dude he's like i'm gonna fuck up the police he's fucking crazy and then he he starts

saying like i don't fuck women unless they're like 40 years younger than me and then considering he's 80 that is one of the better things he could have finished that sentence with he points out he points at the interviewer and he says he says fucking if you're 20 years younger i fuck the shit out of your type and the interviewer is yeah he was classy he was classy and this is all recorded right this is all recorded i have all those recordings but i i technically because legally you're not allowed to show that i can't yeah i can't show them to anybody and then on because we were all communicating through like this like a whatsapp thing like everybody on staff was communicating through this and i just or something like that i don't

remember and i just wrote in the chat can y'all smell a fucking pr disaster they call in an early recess is it recess when it's like a break in the middle of yeah they take a recess and all the the staff comes up and they're like okay so we're gonna take a quick break there's wine and snacks over there uh we'll be right back super shortly and he's he's still going like he's still fucking screaming about fucking women it's funny how random people in the audience. I'm going to fuck the shit out of you. Dude, legit, legit, he was doing shit like that, and they had to call recess,

and all of them are freaking out. Like, everybody on staff is on panic mode, and I'm just laughing. How was the audience? I'm curious. Were they just like, dude, this is what I paid for. Yeah, I love this guy. No, the audience was, like, not okay. They were really upset.

They were very upper class anyone take him up on his offer somehow my boss got the whole the whole setup with the microphone and an actual like speaker and she was she comes up to me and she's like you can you set up this in under 15 minutes and i'm like excuse me i just i literally tell her i don't get paid enough to do this okay i like this is insane this recording is unusable you know this right and she's like yeah i know this but can you please do it so i'm like i'm doing it but you're gonna have to pay me more and she says tell anybody about the furry porn on your your phone that would know that was not my that was not that boss oh damn it's not that boss that was like a single other like contract okay and uh

somehow i said i do this whole setup in 20 minutes alone which is really impressive fucking tap on the back to me i'm so fucking good at what i do david's the goku 40 years. I'm the Goku, dude. Oh my god, his audio number is so strong. He's above 30 decibels, man. Oh my god, I can't believe it. 30, that's the strongest yet. 30 is... Toriyama's a fucking hack. Yikes, okay.

Anyway, fuck you Toriyama and JK Rowling. You're both scum. Continue. Jesus fucking Christ. Ed. Anyways, everybody This is where it is brought to you by Audible. You can find the Harry Potter series.

Shut the fuck up. You probably can't find Dragon Ball. Dragon Ball barely counts as a book. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up god damn everybody is back in their seat the audience is back in their seat

they're all waiting for Mr. Crazy to end the interview to go back on thing is wait the interviewer stayed in even after him saying I wouldn't fuck you she's a fucking saint.

I don't know how she did that. She is absolutely a trooper. I don't know how much she got paid, but it was not enough. It was not enough. And the caregiver and the guy were both fucking missing. They just disappeared during the recess. All the staff

panics and tries to find him back. Wait, give me a sec. I was like, man, this is some fucking dramatic build-up. Where is he? No, it's because somebody just came. Did he hear his name?

He's here. He's right behind you. He's fucking millennials in their walk doors. He's going to whisper in your ear, I wouldn't fuck you even if you were 40 years younger than me. Oh, shit. No, all the staff is like calling the caregiver and calling the festival itself and being like

have you seen the have you seen him have you seen him he bursts into the fucking like into the room and he just wait crowd side or stage side crowd side he bursts back into the venue without his caregiver he sits down does not pick up the microphone he asked for which was like right in front of him and he just starts pointing at people in the audience at random and he asked them to ask him a question he's like you ask me something and then that's that's just how the rest of the show went the the the my boss was just like fuck it she was like there's no way we can't do anything about this oh my god that's wow what that's how i got paid extra surely like half of them i just don't answer because like who the fuck gets point to by some guy who's going off

crazy it's like you ask me a question like i wouldn't have a fucking question prep i'd have a lot of questions he seems like he has a fun life legit people just like like started asking questions like how do you do your art and he was actually not being too crazy god it was weird i legitimately want to have a conversation with a straight up insane person and see like dude I had one apparently yeah living the dream

speaking of speaking of answering questions oh my god god damn oh fuck damn that was not So this is a section of the podcast Where we ask

Where we point at you And you answer Yeah and if you're foreign and spell things wrong Avery will kill you Wow What Yeah so if you're part of the $10 and above tiers

You can ask a question and we're gonna to answer it on the Q and a. So let's start with this one. Alex Monette asks, what would be your dream place to live? Uh, um, anywhere next to it. Honestly,

fuck you. Scumbag. Oh, fuck. My answer would be the, the forest biome in Minecraft. No, I actually do want to live somewhere in, in Europe would answer would be the forest biome in Minecraft no I actually do want to live somewhere in Europe would be a nice

place to live yeah I'm not going to be able to stay in your weird little grass island I don't know anywhere kind of in like you know, Sweden maybe. Some place like that.

That'd be nice. I like snow. Oh, yeah. Sweden's cool. Yeah. I would probably, I would honestly either stay in like close to the Montreal area or Vancouver. Those are the two cities I would like to live at the most because those are just like really I'm a city person so like I would

just rather be in the city yeah I would prefer Vancouver I'd wanna live on a boat with just dudes oh dude can I come? nope I said dudes no coming allow

ouch no cats okay I wanna see how long it takes to one of us fucks another guy like like i want to take me and like 10 of the straightest dudes and put them on a boat and like no land in sight see how long it takes before one of us gets fucked it's like no not november but your hand is some guy's ass. Okay. Grantly asks, have any of you guys played Red Dead Redemption 2 yet?

If so, what are your thoughts? Oh, boy. Is this the time where I get to talk about how much I like Red Dead 2? I chose this question because I have a lot to talk about too. I fucking love Red Dead. I hated it at first. I love hog tying

suffragettes. Oh no. Ed, why you like this? It's allowed on YouTube. Oh fuck you. Yeah, he fought for his rights. Wait, who goes first? I don't know.

We can just all go. I think the... What do you mean we can all just go? I don't know. I really like the game, but I didn't like it at first. I fucking hated it. The intro sucked.

I was like... The intro is way too long. It's so long. The first chapter is not good at all. It is a massive improvement over the first game's intro, easily. Yeah, the first game's intro was also really bad. No, it was ten times worse. Marston, come help me put these cows in the field.

Let's have a horse race. What? Oh, jeez, that sounds... Did you not play Red Dead 1? You're on a farm for three hours. Yeah, you're... Okay, so imagine the intro for Red Dead 2, but there's no snow,

and all you're doing is wrangling like horses. And you're talking to one person. Oh, yeah, one character. Yeah. What was her name? Rachel? McFarlane. Something McFarlane, yeah.

Oh, dude. No, go ahead. Sorry. I'll say mine after. I was going to say, like, Red Dead 2 is probably got the best writing in most games, in, I would say, like,

the majority of games that I've played I'd say Hellblade might top it over or Oxenfree maybe but like it's just crazy how well it's written and the music is so fucking good

it's crazy one thing that I'm surprised about I've not what chapter are you on? Breath of White Manor It's crazy. One thing that I'm surprised about. Have you finished it, David? I've not. I've not. But. What chapter are you on? I. Brathwaite Manor. That's the one I'm at.

I'm at that mission. And. I'm excited because everybody says it's the best mission. So. But one thing that I'm actually really surprised about is that the gunplay doesn't suck. I'm. No, it's snappy. It's very snappy. It's kind of just rock. It's rock. It's rock star gunplay doesn't suck i'm no it's snappy it's it's kind of just rock it's rocks it's rock star gunplay though it's not like it's it's not anything i don't think it's kind of i think the reason why i think it it feels better is because of the rumble because i usually play

games on pc so i don't have that rumble but when I play on PS4, you shoot and you feel the rumble. It actually adds a lot more than people give it credit. It feels great. I don't know. The biggest mystery to me... I'm freaking out about something that came out in Nintendo 64 era, guys. The weirdest shit to me is that the shooting mechanics in Max Payne 3

were fucking great and then Rockstar was like let's go back to GTA 4 it's like what the shooting in Max Payne 3 felt amazing that game is incredible if no one's played it you don't need to play the first two Max Payne 3 is a fantastic game

everyone go play it that's a hot take and a half wait is it bad max pay three sick what are you talking about no no no i'm saying i'm saying that not playing the first two once it's not necessary yeah i'm for sure it's a different didn't a big didn't max pain one and two age really poorly max pain two still holds up i'd say max pain 2 is still really good oh um yeah no i i for sure agree like i wish they had max pain 3 uh aiming but i i see why they didn't kind of because of um broader broader audience whatever no and how how open the world is like in in max pain it's

very like kind of linear so it makes it so when you're aiming on console it's a lot easier to pick out targets whereas in red dead they can be like all around you i think yeah the reason why that's why they do snap to like dude i'm gonna be honest i don't think snap aim is bad i don't think the snap aim is bad i think it adds a lot bad it's just not interesting it's not engaging at all it feels good, but it feels good. And that's all I need. I'd spend half the game in Deadeye just because I get to free aim. Deadeye is fun.

Because the problem is when you turn off snap aim, you also turn it off for when you're on a horse. And aiming while you're on a horse is the worst. You need snap aim on a horse. Have you guys played Psychopath? What? you need snapdame have you guys have you guys played like psychopaths the like what okay so because my boyfriend oh sorry you you mean play red dead like a fucking

oh i thought you meant like psychopaths like yeah i was like there's a game well yes it's a visual novel psychopath is a visual novel i think gross but anyways no it's because i i got the game for my boyfriend and i watched him play and he actually fucking broke the game he couldn't like go further because he was such a fucking psychopath he would just go in the streets and kill like 20 people in a city and his bounty was so high he couldn't get any more missions and he basically locked himself out of the game because when you die gotta go to it you still have to pay the bounty but he couldn't pay the bounty because he kept dying because everywhere he went he got fucking killed there's

just bounty yeah yeah so it's actually possible to like fuck up the game doesn't the bounty go away if a bounty hunter kills you isn't that how it should work it doesn't like that i think so does it i don't know i'm pretty sure that's what he told me pretty sure if you if you get a bounty hunter to kill you it goes away your bounty goes well shit you still have psychopath dude jesus christ oh yeah shotguns in that game or something there's wow they turn people into silly buddy dude you ever have you ever try this thing where like if you have a shotgun equipped and then you chase someone like they're running away you're running down and then you tackle them and then you press the execute button have you tried that it's

fucking crazy oh yeah you blow their heads off dude it's insane I did that once by accident and I was like I was pressing B to punch and then there was like an option press R2 to execute and I was like oh I wonder what that looks like that's his oh I don't like it I'll go back yeah that game's really good

my only gripe with it is give me an option to turn off the fucking skinning and looting animations Jesus Christ that's one of my biggest problems there needs to just be an option I hate that the fast travel is only one way and

the thing is sometimes the game tries to the realism quote unquote like obstructs the gameplay there is definitely a bit the thing is is that there's definitely an option uh to that would allow us like just to like grab the skin off of of dead bodies and like pick up fucking shit instantly but but it's only tied to if you get like if you're like in a messed up terrain or whatever so So it's, it's, it's really like, yeah, you just have that as an option.

Yeah. He just picks up their skin. It's pretty great. All right. All right. I think that's it for today before we go. Yeah. Not another question.

Oh, you want to do another question? Oh, I read that online in a week. Oh, I'm actually, I'm actually kind of excited. Let's do one last question.

All right. Yeah. one last. Unnamed Toaster asks, what is one of your favorite podcasts? Serial. Fuck, I was going to say that. I'll choose something else. God damn it.

Damn it. But Serial, dude, have you listened to season three? I haven't listened to season three yet. Oh my God. Season three is great. I love Serial so much. I need to listen to season three.

Serial is really good. Definitely check out the first season. I know a lot Season three is great. I love cereal. I need to listen to season three. Cereal is really good. Um, definitely check out the first season. I know a lot of people didn't like the second season. Um, I thought it was still good. I liked it. I thought it was still good.

It's just that people didn't like it cause it wasn't like a murder mystery. No, it was more, it was like military. And it was very current. It was super current. Very current, very military.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, still very good. It's uh, for those who don't know, for those who don't know for those who don't know serial is a podcast that where that goes through like how would you i don't know how it's a true crime it's a true crime uh podcast where they they go through and break down uh

every single like court usually it it's, it's about, um, like where they think maybe there might be some kind of misjudgment or, or something like that. But the thing that's really good about it is that they never go out of their way to make, like they're, they're pretty like unbiased. Uh, I mean,

they present a narrative for sure. It's just that it's they they're also presenting a shit ton of facts with it so like yeah um i don't know there's there's always a conflict kind of cancels out there isn't ever really kind of one narrative in it there's usually another one or like a different way that the story could go and they don't it's very hard yeah it's very hard to like pinpoint what you think you have to like one of the things I like the most is talking to people about serial after listening

to it because everybody has a different opinion on the cases and it's really interesting anyways my podcast that I would recommend is Tannis. Tannis is a horror story podcast, I guess. It's just, it's like, I don't know how to explain it. It's very, very weird. It's like this story driven podcast that's horror it basically talks about like experiments that happened and cults i don't

know it's just it's very good it's very it's it has a very good atmosphere and it's spooky and if you walk in the woods while listening to it you might shit yourself i know okay jeez you shit yourself quite a lot david it's dude it's crazy it's becoming a problem it you got a podcast i recommend shit the playstation 2 official magazine podcast i thought you're gonna recommend your own podcast no i don't i don't fucking listen to podcasts i know you think i want to listen to people talking my ear about how much more interesting their lives are for an hour. I'll feel like shit.

Podcasts make me feel like shit. Like, wow, look at all these cool people. I'm fucking like, nice joke, Kenneth. You're on the podcast. What are you... Oh, right. You're on the podcast. Yeah, fucking you guys are all idiots for listening to this. Listen to how good our lives are.

I just amused. Listen to how good our lives are. Not just to me, but to how good our lives are. Imagine if I was like on the other end of this and I'm here. Man, Ed sounds like he has such a cool fucking life. Dude. Got molested at 15? That's nuts. Of course that was me.

Wow. Me too, man. Trade lives, Ed. But yeah, I don't really listen to podcasts. I listen to music. All right, recommend an album then. I like to listen to talented people for an hour instead of these stupid fucks.

All right, episode's over. Anyways, if you're listening to this before November 29th, I'm going to be at Midwest Fur Fest. Me too. I'm going to be at Midwest Fur Fest. Me too. We're all going to be at Midwest Fur Fest and if you guys see me we're all gonna be at Midwest Fur Fest

shut the fuck up if you guys see me if you guys see me come say hi come say hi and I'm bringing Mayonnaise will be shitting on all the cows shut the fuck up

if you if you see me I'm bringing some PSD goodies to give away I'm bringing an AKD goodies to give away. I'm bringing an AK-47 and the bullets are yips. No!

No! Ed, plug your shit so the police can find you. I'm going to shoot you for my love goo. Oh my god. Yeah, plug your shit right after that. Not really. I don't really want to plug my shit after saying that. Go ahead, David. Oh my god.

You can... You can find me at Midwest Fur Fest you can find me at Midwest Fur Fest or online at Sermiao Music on Twitter, SoundCloud and YouTube I made a YouTube where I put up some my music

and I'm also on Spotify at Sermow. Dude, I'm gonna shit on your fucking... Cameron? You can find me on Twitter at SuperSneakacheap. Sometimes I get other people to retweet my tweets so they get likes. Occasionally I also tweet.

Ed, I have a question for you. Do we ever shut the fuck up?