Please Stop Talking - Sunday School Slander | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

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Head on down to PleaseStopShopping.com and check out the new store and buy a mug for you your friends your family and everybody around you three two one guess let's do one more no why is i was i was getting ready to do it too bro, he's been saying that to every fucking guest, and then I always get messed up. He has to guess which clap. He always says it at the right, perfect time for it to be confusing. Yeah, and then at the start of several episodes, Corbin will just add another clap, like, 17 seconds later. I did four small claps before the clap sings,

so don't get confused. Oh, I'll figure it out. And then three other small ones after it. I've actually not stopped clapping. I have not stopped clapping. I'm just so happy to be here. You can't hear it because I have RTX voice enabled. I turned RTX voice back on.

I just turned it off so I could get the clap sync, and then I turned it right back on. Well, I think it was... The reason I do that is because the first time I was a guest on the podcast, Avery said that to me. And I was like, oh, okay. I did do that. And then I laughed again, and it pissed David off. And I go, uh-oh.

Avery's poisoning the well. And we're all fucking chugging the water. Welcome to the podcast. Usually the person who says the weird thing isn't the one who says welcome to the podcast but i'll i'm fine with it you'll allow it i i thought it was a good segue you can't fucking segue cuck me once for once let's not argue about the start of the podcast the water is warm and still let's not let's not move the water around so the water is poisoned but is it

wet yeah it's wet water is wet oh it's not water is by nature wet water is polar it's a natural state of wetness you know what's horrifying i had this realization recently like every time corbin and brendan are together it's just a fucking nightmare like legit like five minutes before you got there dude avery like i 10 and i were trying to fix his rtx problems they were literally just doing sound effects with their fucking like sound boards like for fucking 15 minutes straight no that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying it's like that every time and you just realized it is what I'm saying. It's like that every time, and you just realized it, is what I'm struggling to

grasp. All my friends are foolish. Stop going, no, no, no. You can't do that. You can't do that right now. Corbin and I are like Cho'Gall or like Pacific Rim. When we're apart, we're stronger together. You're drift compatible.

Yeah, we are drift compatible. Alright, Corbin, let's boot up Fortnite. They added Mechs back in. You take Gunner, I'll take Movement. Did they actually? Yeah, they added Mechs back into Fortnite. No, we're not talking about Fortnite! Mechs are so empowered. We're not talking about Fortnite.

This is my veto. We should have a fucking veto system. I was going to say, do we get a veto? We should have a fucking veto system. I was going to say, do we get a veto? We should have a veto system reaching. I have absolutely vetoed stories before, so I think that system is already in place. Oh, good luck trying to tell a story funnier than mine. I'm just going to veto that shit.

What is this? Corbin's inventing competitive conversation. Oh, I just... Hey, Ten This is the first time you've been on How are you? Hi, my name is Ten I fixed all of my audio equipment

And it's been three months since my last witch encounter Fuck, I did Forgot that that's how you opened last time we tried to do this I have to talk about the witch i guess yeah i guess let's let's get let's get her over with whoa how do you know it's her it's a witch well isn't isn't the male at you also isn't a male witch not a witch isn't a like a warlock i i didn't have the bell rang at me a Avery, but I did have... When I came home from the trip, my sister told me that she heard a loud bang

in my room, like something fell off a shelf, and she was looking around and couldn't find anything, and I was like, oh, okay, that's fine. And then I turned around, and I was freaking out. I was like, the witch is actually here. Yeah. Oh, also, you should mention that you were the one driving the van when we were almost up in the false come-and-go dimension.

I saw the open gate and I said no and I gunned it and then we got lost. We got lost in the get out neighborhood. We don't need to retread that though. Dude, having to re-record an episode fucking sucks. The energy is always super fucking weird at the beginning. Yeah, that's why I'm just drinking

like a motherfucker so I have no more inhibitions. I can just go in and that's not a healthy way to let me let me let me just uh let me let me let me seg you because i have a small story and a big story that i'd like to tell today so let me start with a small story your little big story so my great aunt um my grandma's sister has decided to barge in and live with my grandma just kind of like hey i'm living here with my dog now you guys have two cats and a dog uh i live here now um love her to death but she also has to get

surgery soon uh because she has uh the the big brain problems she has to get an like an surgery for an aneurysm for like the third time um so she's staying with my grandma and uh she has this big dog named julie um i woke up the other day and they my grandma calls me and immediately is like hey uh being me and me and my sister me and your great aunt we're gonna go out uh can you watch my dog and my wife is immediately like yeah and i'm no i don't want to but okay you're family i don't want to be guilt tripped so we get julie over here uh first off they say they're gonna drop her off at three they drop her off at 12 30 while i'm midstream um not quite a dog person but i'm not an anti-dog person uh but i was trying to work and they drop her off

and I try to take her outside, take her outside for a little bit so she can go to the bathroom, feed her, get back to the stream, lock the door because my cat Bubby hates dogs. So I have to separate them from rooms. The second I close the door though, Julie starts screaming and I don't want to lock Bubby anywhere. So I have Julie upstairs right next to like where everything is. I have the door slightly open so she can get outside. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible. And it was just it was just a ham and a hassle. Double checking the dog every 10 minutes.

Supposed to have her till Thursday. And I my wife gets home and the dog is taking care of she's happy my wife my wife takes her for a walk uh watches over her and then we try to go to sleep so i have bubby in the basement with her food water and her litter box and i have julie upstairs uh julie won't come into our bedroom she won't sleep with us she just is barking and non-stop barking screaming howling wailing and i was told oh she's very well trained very well behaved and she's a sweet dog uh but i ended up getting two hours of sleep and i uh will never dog sit again i had to call my brother and tell him to come pick the dog up. I will never dog sit again.

I can't do it. I like dogs. I'd like to have a weird thing with dogs. I had, I had a weird thing now. Yeah, I got over that. It was a weird dude.

What the fuck is very, very strange. It was really weird and specific that you had. Yeah, it wasn't that specific. It was very vague, but it was just a weird place to draw the line. Can I explain how you explained it to me?

You explain it, and then I'll explain the context behind that. We were in Colorado, and every time we would see a dog on the street, David would move as far away on the sidewalk or across the street to try and get away from the dog. And I asked him,

why are you so weird about dogs? He's like, it's not all dogs. I don't like floppy dogs. Sharp dogs, I'm fine with. Floppy dogs, not into it. What the fuck? I know exactly what you mean, bro.

I was really... Yeah, everybody gets it. I understand what you mean, bro. I was really... Yeah, everybody gets it. It's like that one... I understand what you're describing. I can't understand the reasoning. Why are you good with sharp dogs, but anti-floppy dog? Not to the point of like, I prefer sharp dogs to floppy dogs, but of... I can deal with sharp dogs in my life.

If you have a floppy dog, stay the fuck away from me. It's like that you know you know like those two drawings where one is a blob one is a spiky blob and one is called like booba and the other one's called like baca or whatever yeah sure like yeah yeah it's like that except i chose violence what does that mean i chose kiki do you know what choosing kiki david hits dogs that's the point of this story no no no no okay not anymore i i've changed my mind but the thing is when i was a kid i i went to a i went to a park with one of my friends who had a a floppy dog a booba dog wait no don't actually i'm going back uh kiki no fuck no you've you've committed

yourself to this comparison oh this is what happens when david learns about something i should never i should just give up on learning this is it's just always comes back at me but yeah there was she had a floppy dog and that floppy dog was not very well trained no because kiki is the aggressive one kiki is pointy booba is not and i don't think it's booba so it's a booba dog by your description yeah okay so fine fucking booba the fucking the fucking booba dog was like rabid spitting shitting whatever just absolutely awful dog and he uh that dog ran after me and like started playing but like really aggressively and like basically completely just started chewing my leg and i was bleeding like a motherfucker it is booba yeah i

wasn't sure if it was booba but yeah booba dog was fucking biting me and i was so confident saying booba dog yeah because now i know that it's the actual thing but yeah i had to go to the fucking i had to go to the fucking doctor for that it was really bad and ever since i had a thing against those guys the fuck the booba dogs fuck that i was i was all about those kikis those dogs do you do you approach everything you're in your life with that us versus them mentality one flop one floppy dog was fucking spastic when you were a kid so now you hate floppy dogs for all of time. Well, I was kind of like that,

but the thing is, I was a kiki dog enjoyer because the kiki dogs, the pointy ones... David! What? I didn't see the chart. Do you know how fucking unhinged you sound? I had no clue what was happening the entire time. David, you understand that people are going to listen to this

and not see that in the chat, right? Yeah, I know. How does nobody know about Booba and Kiki? I know about Booba and Kiki. I had no clue what was happening. You had no idea. What?

I thought you kept saying Booba. David literally assumes everyone on the planet watches Tom Scott. That's what I've learned today. Who the fuck is that? He did Ed's World. I learned it in psychology. He did Ed's World. Fuck you.

Oh, no. Why would you bring up Ed's World? We don't need to stay on it. We don't need to stay on it. I have a story about a dog that has been dead for 40 years. Oh! David wanted me to tell the story yes so my this is this is a story about my dad specifically um so he he works a job where he's on call like 24 hours a day six days a week uh they call him he goes and one time he gets back

from his job just like a little happier than usual so i i was like asking him what was up uh and he tells me that he ran into the mailman that used to deliver mail uh when he was a little kid and the reason he was so happy is because this mailman was attacked by his dog sparky when he was a little boy um they had to put the dog down and he was super fucking pumped because he ran into this mailman at work today uh my dad drives a hearse by the way so that's the important part here but he was just like yeah it was like super fucking great i was like i was gonna take a look at his leg and see if he really had a scar on there because my my neighbor like two streets away said that he never walked with a limp on their street but But every single time I saw him, he was always walking with a limp.

He's like, I got to see, does he have a scar there? He's like, it's a really good thing it was a house call with one of my coworkers because I would have thrown this guy down the fucking stairs. And one time I got him kind of drunk and I asked him about it again. He was like, yeah, it's a really good thing I was wearing a mask because I had a huge smile on my face in front of his family. I know I never told you that part, David. I told you the first part.

I fucking love that. I fucking hope I have a nemesis like that. Oh my god. Imagine having a relationship. I don't even need to win. I'm good to be the guy getting laughed at as a cold, shitty corpse. I just want a nemesis like that.

Who's, who's fucking dog or Unikill? That's a good question. Yo, Brendan, how's your aunt? Oh no. I can make sure you never stay up all night ever again Brendan

she's such a sweet dog Sparky was probably pretty cool too was she kiki or booba she was a boxer I don't know what a boxer could be either you're right

ears make it booba sometimes a boxer has like the pointy ears that's kiki mode either it depends you're right ears make it booba i think because sometimes what because sometimes a boxer has like the pointy ears that's kiki mode and sometimes that's not how they're that's not how they are oh really i didn't know that so that means it's a booba yes okay julie julie had floppy ears yeah okay no they're definitely kiki is this gonna be the entire episode? I get it. Honestly, I think Booba, looking at the image, I feel like Booba's more like round, floppy dogs and boxers have more of a sharp aesthetic. They may be a Booba day walker though.

They're not labeled. This chart isn't labeled. This chart is left intentionally vague. I'm still lost. The point is that- Booba is a round sound. Easy. Looking at this chart, there's an image that is sharp and Booba is a round sound. Easy. Booba...

Looking at this chart, there's an image that is sharp and an image that is round. That's the thing. It varies from country and language to language. Ah. No. I thought the point was that everywhere they said that Kiki was the same and Booba was the same. I thought that was the point. That is not the point.

Ah. See, I watch Tom Scott. was the same and booba was the same i thought that was the point that is not that is not the point see i watched tom scott i don't care if you went to college oh i was in college that was that was fucking like high school prestigious high school booba oh don't know school booba no what are you doing you can't edit that out that stays in or i fucking i veto you editing that out. That's my veto for the episode. Dude, what the fuck? You didn't do that? I just did.

We have a veto system. It's officially established now. It's called the balance of powers. Everyone gets one per episode. Can I cancel yours? No, you already used your veto. When did I use my veto? I don't know, but want to veto David's veto.

It's like Uno. Uno. This whole podcast is a game of Uno. You should retell the story about your weird ass tiny little private Catholic school. Yeah, because when we tried doing this the first time David asked me to think of stories. So I just started thinking about my little private catholic school yeah because when we tried doing this the first time david asked me to think of stories so i just started thinking about my uh little like private catholic school and how i'm genuinely shocked that i'm a well-adjusted individual um did you did you

want me to just start with the uh the reason the school closed i mean sure you could describe the school first or you can i could describe um so we see i i wasn't a delinquent early enough to like getting a lot of shit when i started being a delinquent i was like i had a good reputation so i just kind of got away with a bunch of shit um like i didn't participate in that fight club there was a fight club it was they remember below me they would go into the bathroom and just knock the shit out of each other. And I would stand on the toilets and hype them up. I feel like I missed out. I genuinely feel like I missed out. By never being in a fight club?

Yeah. We should start one whenever we meet up again. Okay. I'll win. At MAGFest, y'all can start a fight club. Yeah, let's start one. I tried to start one in elementary school. Also in the bathroom.

I got in a lot of trouble. I was standing on top of a urinal and I piledrived someone in the face. It was only us two in the bathroom. He went and immediately told on me. It wasn't really a fight club. No, it was just me randomly attacking a kid. One day, a kid

wanted to fight my friend and he brought MMA gloves, the fingerless boxing gloves, and he brought those into the bathroom. The fight starts. And my friend turns around and picks up a trash can and just slams it on this kid. It was the funniest fucking shit I've ever seen in my life. By God, he is broken in half. Same school, different bathroom.

One time me and my friend were just in the bathroom and he was like shaking the stall wall. There was one single stall. It was like a small bathroom, like a stall urinal sink. He goes, do you think I can knock this down? I was like, I don wall there was one single stall it was like a small bathroom like a stall urinal sink uh he goes do you think i can knock this down i was like i don't know if you should and he took that as a challenge and he just starts kicking it and eventually it topples and almost fucking cracks me in the head we go back to the classroom and like a day later uh the teacher i i need to give the layout of the school oh boy i just realized that this isn't gonna make any sense okay um so it used to be split into two buildings right and as the school was running out of money as they do they closed one of the buildings and the only use it got was like the downstairs

section of that hall got used as the music teacher's classroom because they moved all the teachers into the other hall so they had to to make a bunch of space. And my fifth grade homeroom was like a back room of a gym. It was the wrestling room and a gym. And there was like 40 kids. It was kind of big, but there was still like 40 kids slammed in there. And that was like the size of the class?

Yeah, that was every... That was like the fifth grade? It was like 30, 40 something. That was every fifth grader at my school got 30 40 kids it was a really small school but um the music teacher's uh room since it was just like the bottom section of a hall there was one bathroom and you would only use it if you were in that class so a day later he is just like furious at the beginning of class because he knows that it's somebody in my my period that did it uh and he starts like threatening to like dust off her fingerprints in the fucking bathroom and we're like fourth grade or something at this point so i'm looking

at my friend he's freaking out and i'm freaking out a little bit too because i was in there and one of my fingerprints got all over the thing instead i almost got hit in the head with a saw i really like the idea of dusting for prince like yeah there's every single male boy everybody's got me dude that's part of the catholicism they get your prince first oh god everybody who rode my bus was a fucking weirdo there was one kid that would sit in the back of the bus with us that thought it was really funny to just get down on the ground and crawl all the way up to the front of the bus and just yank kindergarteners by the ankles.

Have you checked in on that guy? Is he in prison? Is he still doing that? He's doing it on the prison bus. God, I hope not. I haven't seen him. He's spending too much time on the prison bus. I probably haven't seen him since maybe's spending too much time on the prison bus, Corbin. I probably haven't seen him since maybe my freshman or sophomore year of high school.

Oh my god, he's a guard! Do you wake up every morning, get on the bus to go to prison? It's the fucking weirdest thing. Every single job that I have worked since my freshman or sophomore year of high school, I always bump into his parents at like all the fucking time. And they're super nice. You grab their ankles. I should start.

I should do that next time I see him. They'll be walking around at the zoo and I'll just fucking pop out of the monkey cage and yank him in by the ankles. Make a loud chimp sound. I want to let everyone listening know that I think for the added horror of that visual, it's important for people to know that you are six foot seven and built like a linebacker.

Oh yeah, I'm a big dude. Gigantic. The size of a small black bear. I just imagined giant ass Tin trying to hide underneath like a school bus chair. Why is Tin on the school bus now? Fine, prison bus. I don't know how things work. I'm going to go to jail after the monkey incident.

Yeah, after the monkey incident. The great monkey incident of 2034. Wow, you're still reading it. I'm premeditated. All right. This is premeditated. I can't meditate this anymore. Broke into their house and found tickets to the zoo for 2034 really specific time to book

oh wait well while i'm on the topic of uh my work so i i would like we we have like a dining hall at the zoo and i drive like a little tram for it so it's like oh somebody's having a wedding you know i take them from the parking lot to the middle of the zoo drop them off the dining hall uh towards the end of the night like i'll always be driving people back and we'll drive by the elephants and the elephants will be out and i'll start answering questions just because i work at a zoo and i think it's fun uh and this drunk chick one time starts asking me a bunch of questions about the elephants and i'm like answering the best i can and then she starts asking me questions about the elephant's dick and i it's like getting hit in the head like i'm just like not prepared for it i'm tired i'm trying to drive it's like almost midnight yeah i've just been

flashback and then while i'm struggling to answer that she goes who has a bigger dick you or the elephant and i was like oh what is Like, what is actually going on? And then her friend chimes in and she's like, Oh, he's, he's got like a, he's, he's like a redhead.

He's got like a red beard. I like that. He's cute. And I'm like red alert at this point. I was like, I need to figure out a way to diffuse this. So I just like casually was like, yeah,

uh, I'm gay. I don't think my boyfriend would like that. I was single at the time. I did not have a boyfriend. This was a lie. And without missing... Yeah, I'm also not gay. I'm bi. Big distinction.

But without missing a fucking beat, it was like two girls and one guy. The guy just goes, so what are you doing tonight? And I was tempted. He was ready for that shit. If a man has that much confidence, I mean, fuck, man, you gotta consider it. I thought I

immediately was not flashbanged anymore. I was like, well, hold on, hold on. You were like, wait, wait, wait. Let's see your mouth. I have a pro, and what's going on here? I got off at like 1230, bro. What you doing? Fuck.

Ten, you alluded to it earlier. Do you want to explain why your school was losing so much money? Oh, so... I don't... Hold on. Because there was more than just the thing in the parking lot. Oh.

Um. If I don't say a name, is it still slander? No. Because I can't prove this. I cannot prove this in a court of law. Well, if you say you can't prove it, if you say allegations... Allegedly.

Everything Ken is about to say is alleged. Alleged, yeah. Dude hated the school. That's not alleged. I knew that. I was an altar boy. He fucking hated the school. Oh, wow. I was like the only altar boy when the school closed, so I would serve like every 6 a.m. mass

before school, and it would just consist of me sitting in the back getting ready, and the custodian would come in and just bully the priest for like 20 minutes, and it was always my favorite part of the morning.ian would come in and just bully the priest for like 20 minutes. And it was always my favorite part of the morning. He would come in and just put this man on blast. It was just a roast session. And I was like in seventh grade.

I just had to sit there and go, all right. Fuck him up. Fuck him up. See, if God was real, the priest would be fucking winning these. Yeah. was real the priest would be fucking winning these yeah what's the bible verse where the guy gets called bald and god sends like 30 bears to kill those kids that's a real thing that happens in the bible yeah the bible oh my god the bible's got some crazy shit in it the bible's a lot of no but um so the dude was allegedly stealing money from the church.

Hated the school. We were already running pretty low on money because kids just kept leaving the school because it fucking sucked. They weren't getting people paying a lot of tuition. I keep getting sidetracked because I keep thinking about more terrible things. You're totally allowed to keep getting sidetracked.

That's the plot. He threatened to raise our tuition if we didn't go to mass at that church and donate. What? Yeah. Do it's an asshole. I'm not sure that's allowed.

I think that's a crime. Yeah. What the fuck? Allegedly. Allegedly. I don't know Catholic law. I don't know fucking Catholic law either. I went to the school and my parents took care of all that. There's a Christ police? Uh-huh.

They're called angels. The Romans. Oh. Wait, Avery. What's up? Sorry, very off track. I put the Bible verse in guest is that what it means

to dive bald dive too bald Brendan Brendan use your big use your big guy voice use your big for the Bible quote

yeah yeah yeah okay can I can I can I be the children? Yes. Wait, no. All of us in unison need to be the children. From there, Elijah went up to Bethel.

As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. Get out of here, Baldi! They said. Get out of here, Baldi! He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods

and mauled 42 of the boys. Holy shit! Old Testament God fucking rules. Old Testament God doesn't fuck around. What the fuck? Man.

One time at a church camp. Oh, I... There was this guy that worked at our church, and that's where I found this quote from, because I'd always make fun of him for being bald, and he told me to look up that quote. I read it, continued to make fun of him, and then at the end of the week, it's like, what's your favorite Bible verse?

And I wrote that one down. Corbin's staring into the sun, daring God to kill him with a bear. Corbin pointing in the sky, you're bald. What I love, there's also, it's not Old Testament God, but in the New Testament, there's a weird little bit where Jesus wants a fig from a fig tree. So, he walks up to the fig tree, but it's not fig season, so there are no figs.

And then Jesus points at the tree and says, you will never grow figs again, I curse you, and leaves. And I love that. I love that for a few reasons, But the biggest one is that it proves that pettiness is not a sin. So like that verse we just read was that Alopecia 223? No, it's like 2 Kings

verse 23 to 24. David, I got that joke. I got it, David. Thanks, guys. Alopecia makes you bald. Oh, well, I'm sorry. I didn't know got that joke. I got it, David. Thanks, guys. Oh, I didn't hear it. Sorry. Alopecia makes you bald. Alopecia's hair loss. Oh, well, I'm sorry. I didn't know what that was.

So, things that are a sin, allegedly. Stealing money from the church. And I'm back on it, baby. What a fucking jump, man. I just got whiffed. If you're stealing money from the church, you're just making the church bald. Yeah, and then he started building a

retirement home in the parking lot, which the parking lot was our playground, by the way. We didn't have a playground. We played on blacktop. Played tackle football in the parking lot, because that's what you do when you're in the sixth grade. When you're like fucking little wolverines. You don't sleep on your shoulder weird, and that's your fucking week done yeah kids can take a fucking

bullet i'm pretty sure but he just so happened david what are you and anytime children come up in the wild escalations can't stand those little bastards i fucking hate them i can't fucking hate kids i don't know what to tell you. I fucking hate kids. Yeah, but I just thought it was a little weird that it coincided with the school closing down as he started building that big-ass retirement home in the parking lot with money that we didn't really have. Allegedly. Allegedly.

No, yeah, allegedly. The way that you described it last time, it sounded like you were still going to school and there was just a house being built in the parking lot. No that's what yeah okay yeah yeah okay well that's the funny dude they they cut our fucking football field in half because they had to build a goddamn retirement home like for only him or for like like no for fucking old people so he could make money off of things that wasn't doing a school stealing Oh, stealing money from the elderly is okay. Well, he's already doing it from the church. It's like the same thing. Allegedly.

Stealing money from the church is kind of cool. Stealing money from the elderly gets you kicked out of Ali. Oh, God. Jesus, guys. Avery, you know how you keep getting upset that I know so much about broadcasting rules? I don't get upset. I'm just confused. And you also don't know why you know all of it.

I know that I'm going to make one up right now and it's 100% true. If you say allegedly every couple of minutes, you can just say whatever you want. That's kind of true. It's right there in the broadcaster bible. It's the Old Testament, though, so look out.

Speaking of spoken libel. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. I'm pretty sure this old man that I work with killed his dad. Okay. Allegedly. Okay. Corbin, you need to say that sentence again with the word allegedly in it. Allegedly. Okay. Corbin, you need to say that sentence again with the word allegedly in it.

Allegedly. Please clarify that you have no proof. It's just a bunch. I have absolutely zero proof. This is an alleged crime podcast. Oh, yeah. Absolutely zero proof, but he told me a series of stories that he strung together to make it sound like he had killed his father. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Allegedly. He allegedly told stories that made it sound like he allegedly might have killed his alleged father. Allegedly. Allegedly. He allegedly told stories that made it sound like he allegedly might have killed his alleged father. Allegedly. Allegedly. I really like the description of this podcast being an alleged crime podcast. No, it's a maybe crime podcast.

It's a maybe. Oh my God. This is how we get the wine moms into PST. No, it's a maybe crime podcast. It's a maybe... Oh my god. This is how we get the wine moms into PST. My mom has told me to turn this into a fucking true crime podcast, I think, eight times. She's getting her rest right now. To be fair, most true crime... All we had to do was talk about the church. We're doing better than most true crime podcasts,

because most of them don't even say allegedly and they go wild it's true what they're saying oh right we're alleged crimes an alleged crime podcast so here is the series of stories that this man told me so this guy

by the way will like while you're working if he sees you're not doing anything he will just come up to you and just start telling you stories about how he knew Steve Jobs. Allegedly. Allegedly. And so he comes up to me one day, and I'm just standing there, and he goes, oh, no, it was right after I got off of, like, a three-day break. And he goes, oh, I'm surprised to see that you didn't get arrested. And I went, oh yeah, you know me.

I go, I know people. And he goes, well, little fun fact about myself. I know people. He talks like a dark souls NPC? What? Did he chuckle at the end? I have a dark souls NPC update for fucking where I live after this.

So, he goes, I know people. You know, back when I was a younger boy, I went to my dad's law attorney office, and the attorney general for the United States was there, and he told me, hey son,

your dad's a good man if you ever need anything and i mean anything are you ever in any trouble just let me know and then he walked away my dad told me that's the attorney general of the united states and then he goes you know back in those, laws, the court proceedings were different. It was all televised and everything. And he goes, well, you know, not too long ago was the big trial of O.J. Simpson. Okay, we're in it. And he goes, I was listening to a crime podcast.

Allegedly. We kept vetoing the... I can't. I already used it. Shit. And it was from the perspective of the man who first called O.J. Simpson to tell him that his wife had been murdered.

And O.J. Simpson said he called him and was like, oh, this is cool. I get to call O.J. Simpson, but under, you know, bad context, but still pretty cool. I get to call OJ. I want somebody to turn this into like actual Dark Souls dialogue, dude. This is incredible. You're like so on point with how it sounds. He's making weird laughs, yeah.

Can you end sentences and go... So he phones OJ and he calls him and he begins to tell him, Mr. OJ, your wife is dead. And OJ on the other line starts crying and crying and screaming and you know what you'd expect and he said at that moment shivers went down my spine because i knew i was talking to the killer because when it whenever someone's called and tell them that the loved one has died or been murdered the first question they always ask is how how did he die who killed him oj never asked either of those questions and was constantly

thrown into a charade of madness. And, you know, it's just acting and I could tell. He goes, and so that's when he wrapped up that story. And then he starts talking to me about more about his father. And he said, yeah, you know, with that OJ thing in mind, when they first called me to tell me my father had died, I knew exactly what to say. Holy shit. Holy shit. He said, why officer? Who killed him?

And why? And then he walked away. And I just stood there and I was like, I think he just allegedly confessed to murder to me. Yeah, Corbin. Corbin, if you want to send that guy my way, I got some questions. Maybe he was... Maybe he got a note... Maybe he got a note to

activate a sleeper agent and he went to the wrong person. I guess, but he told me how he could... I guess. He had someone on the inside to get away with crimes that would let him out. He told me why he knew how to say what he said when he found out his father died. And then he told me that he said exactly what he thought he should say, learning from the OJ trial on how to get away with murder.

I was... Why did all this start again? No, OJ needed it. Because I told him I went on a... I was getting back from a three-day vacation. I said nothing. Nothing. That's what I thought.

You didn't say shit. What the fuck? This whole time, I was just standing there and I was kind of confused because I'm like, where the fuck is he going with this? And then he ends it with,

I knew exactly what to say when they told me my father had died. And then walks away and I was like, he just confessed. And he knows I can't do anything. Allegedly. I go, he knows I can't do anything about it. I went up and told my boss and i was like he he just confessed and he knows i can't do anything allegedly i go he knows i can't do anything about it i went up and told my boss and i was like hey so um yeah i think one of our employees just like allegedly confessed murder to me and i don't

know what to do and we looked at the statute of limitations and i is it seven years it's it's really short it's like It depends on the crime. Also, David, you have different laws. Oh, yeah. It also depends, too, because I've had coworkers like that at Best Buy and GameStop who lie about shit like that.

It's like surrounding themselves with mystique to make their lives more interesting. Well, I mean, allegedly. Allegedly. Well, this man is literally like, he has lived all, allegedly lived all over the world and knows a ton of influential people and somehow works at Best Buy. So I don't know.

I don't know what the story is. I don't know if it's true, it's just it's like my date my first day back from vacation and now you know about a murder you did here's the thing here's my favorite thing to do with people like that um ask them questions that would directly directly like uh uh go against other stories they've told Just compile like a list of information in your head. And just kind of bring up different things that they've told you in the past. It's kind of fun.

Everything he says is just so random and catches me off guard that I'm always just standing there just speechless. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I had a coworker once tell me about all this awful stuff that happened to her. Like her dad would burn cigarettes into her arms and she lived in this horrible place and then i found out both her parents are doctors that like live very wealthy and pay for her whole house i like it happens

people be like that phrase you're gonna go let me see it then let me see your arm she's like yeah my dad used to put out cigarettes on me uh allegedly oh no she she went to dance uh with my mom because my sister she had a daughter and my mom my mom you know uh my sister heavenly um is in dance and all the dance moms hated her so i just get my mom to like talk to her about stuff and just find back and report back and just kind of like during conversation i'd bring up things and she'd be confused about them how do you know i'd be like what no no no i just you told me that other time she'd be like oh yeah i did can't keep track of it run a loop around them put him in the mind maze i've wanted to tell that story on the podcast for so long and i had just had no

idea how now honestly he could either be a liar or a fucking covert agent. And I really want him to be a covert agent. Or a murderer. He could be a murderer. He could be a covert agent and a murderer. Yeah, he could be an alleged murderer, maybe. What about door number four?

Maybe he's just a really cool dude. Maybe his dad had it coming Is it murder if it's cool? Depends how cool It's manslaughter Because manslaughter is a cooler word Manslaughter is a cooler word Damn we really are a true crime podcast

Alleged crime podcast Alleged crime We know our shit. We said statute of limitations. And then we all went, I don't really know what it means. I know what it means. I think it's seven years. You think it's seven? I'm pretty sure it depends on the crime. But I also don't know.

It depends on the crime. Some crimes don't really have a statute of limitations. I don't know what state he was in when he... He said he lived all around the world. Yeah, I mean, he definitely was not in a healthy mental state. Allegedly.

Oh, that's what you meant. I thought you meant state like place. I'm a moron. It's... Bazinga. David, it was a pun. It's called both. Double entendre.

I'm an even bigger moron than I thought Fucking Christ The movie I was watching the other day misused the word karma How? Karma means in the next life Like if you say oh karma Like a karmic debt You can try to trick me But like I've seen My Name is Earl

Carson Daly Tells Earl that karma is good, and so he starts to do all his good deeds to make up for his bad deeds. That's karma. My name is Earl. Don't cite that back to me. One of the only things I can remember from that show is there's a part where somebody offers to pay him money.

He's like, can you walk with a limp? And he goes, I can try, and he starts taking his dick out. And the guy goes, no, no, no, no, no. Not like that. They were trying to fake a miracle in church. Oh, yeah. The only thing I remember about my name is Earl. Oh, fucking.

They drove an El Camino, my dream car. Back on the fucking church thing. Didn't you mention that you're the teacher who allegedly stole your. No, it was... Okay, the priest. There's probably... How many allegations already? The priest who allegedly stole money from the church.

He said he crashed your 8th grade graduation? Yeah, dude. Fucking... You know, at a graduation, they dim they dim the lights they got the projector they play like the music video and they have like all these nice pictures of you from like the entire time you've been in school it's like really cute pictures of us when we were like third grade yeah all of a sudden uh fucking like music stops lights come up and he just walks to the front of the gym and like grabs a microphone and he's like whoever drives the and he said whatever fucking make a model car could you please move it i can't open

my garage and it was it was it was a religion teacher he was living at the fucking what's what's it called the rectory no that's the thing behind there's like they have like a little house that the priest lives in that's like on the fucking like church grounds the religion dormitory i don't remember i think the rectory is like where i would be listening to the janitor just coming and roast the fuck out of the priest in the morning i think that i don't know i was never catholic so i do not know i don't remember but he was like pissed and and our... I thought my fucking religion teacher was gonna snap, and honestly, she should've, because she was

cool, and I really wanted her to go off, but she just, like, got all pissy and went and moved her car, and then they just kept going, and I was like, man, way to actually fucking ruin the mood. What a dick! Yeah, use it as well. What the fuck is his problem, dude? He's still there.

He's still there. I went, uh, ago for a funeral, and he's still kicking. Unfortunately, I'm going to kick him in the ribs. Allegedly. Allegedly. No, that one's a promise. Oh, shit. So soon will be a true crimes podcast, but not now. Yeah.

What a lame fucking crime. That'll be the fucking lamest true crime podcast ever. He has this big dude, this old man priest in the chest. Let's just get Corbin a suit and just confront people who are jaywalking really aggressively. I just want a PST episode where it's just two hours

of Corbin walking around Texas in a big like giant david burn suit aggressively confronting jaywalkers so i tried that once what do you know no no no i did not i'm not proud of it oh you're so late to the bar district in my town and i tried and i talked to like three people well i tried to talk to three people and they all just walked away and i went, this is a bad idea. And then I went home. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

That's not the same. One, that's not the same thing. Two, what was your plan with going to the bar district in a suit? Yeah, why were you? I was trying to stop people that were coming in and out of classes. I don't remember why. I was trying to like-

Wait, wait, wait. You were trying to be a hall monitor? Okay, there's something. This is not what we were talking about two seconds ago. Am I going crazy? No, I think I am. What are you talking about?

What were you doing, Corbin? What were you doing? I don't know. But Brendan brought back a memory because he said stand outside in the suit and stop people and it just reminded me of when i tried to do that and it didn't work because no one would listen to me but what were you trying to stop what was i'm doing you're still you're you're avoiding context what i'm not avoiding it i just don't remember

all right all right let me get. You thought it'd be really funny if you got on a suit and you were just wanting to stop people next to bars. Yeah. To what end? To what end? I was trying to make a YouTube video.

What? That just reminded me of something I did. It's like the lamest version of Channel 5 ever. When I was 14... Can you stop jaywalking? Could you stop? Could you stop? When I was 14, three friends and I decided to make...

You know those fucking gag shows where they go out and they do jokes to random people on the street. Why were you going to say kids? I don't know. I was going to say kidding and then I was like, that's not what the word is. I want to say gag and then I didn't say gag. And then I wanted to say prank. Okay, so they did jokes to

people. They do pranks to people. And we did that and what we what we did was like we would run run at people and like start screaming and saying oh my god we're such big fans oh my god and then like we would ask them to sign like our face and our like forehead and shit we were like 14 We were filming this for YouTube. And like, I just remember at one point we did that to a lady on the phone. She like,

she said, I'll call you back. Click phone off. She looks at us and she said, this is the most unfunny thing you could have done today. And then she called and then she called back her person left and i we we were just like in silence right there with our camera still rolling and it was she was just like yeah sorry and then kept going with her day and i don't know why but that kind of ruined the vibe i'm not gonna lie she was on the vibe of your shitty prank shut up yeah. She was on the phone with the funeral director.

And then I walked up and I was such a big fan and she was such an asshole. And listen, if that happened to me and I was on the phone, I would be an asshole. Yeah, I would absolutely

be an asshole to you. Absolutely. David, fucking pretend you wouldn't be an asshole. I would have been an asshole to like, but not if it was me. You're a narcissist I think.

I don't think so. I would be way worse because I'd probably take the camera and break it. Well, maybe not. I wouldn't do that. Jesus. Yeah, I'd be like, uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, then you're committing a crime, Brendan.

Yeah, that's a crime, Brendan. It's not a two-consent party. And what are they going to say? Famous YouTuber Brendan Daniel broke their camera? Nobody's going to believe them. Nobody's going to believe them. I would do that. I would do that.

You're right. I would do that. I would just be like, holy shit, they love me. Finally. Finally, some fucking respect. Corbin, do you want to rock, paper, scissors? Yeah, sure. But I call dips on rock.

Okay, cool. I call paper. I veto you getting paper. Okay, cool. I call paper. I veto you getting paper. Oh, shit! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Wait, should we turn on our cameras? No! This is so fucking stupid.

I'm not turning on my camera. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay, but honor rules. Honor rules, yeah. Corbin, why do you have a poster of the Spotify logo and the OneDrive logo?

He allegedly stole those. He allegedly stole those from Best Buy. Those are scissors. Shoot. I got scissors. You can go first. Also, yeah, those are part of the Microsoft display. I can confirm. No, you can't.

It's allegedly. No, you cannot. Allegedly. I will allegedly confirm. You didn't work at the same time. That's not how that works. This is slander. No, this isn't slander.

This slander's cool. Slander is cool. This is the tale of the undesirables. Oh, wow. This is already a way different world. I have to start like that because I have to begin it with a couple of spark notes. I understand. What does that mean?

No, I like it. You know what? No, I like it. Okay. What does that mean? Undesirables. A couple of spark notes. Undesirables might be a little bit of a trouble.

Might be a bad name, but you know. It might be a really bad name. Oh, is undesirables a bad name? No, it's great. I like it. I think it's funny that you don't know why you shouldn't say that. Why shouldn't I say that? I'm a little scared now. Undesirable discharge?

No, it has... Okay, so undesirables was the name that the Nazis used. Oh, goddammit. Yeah. David, we could have gotten away with it. He didn't know. I can't let him go through his life going around

and telling people I have a story to tell you. It's about the undesirables. And everybody's going to be like, oh my God, Daniel Nazi question mark? Yeah, Brendan, you've got to try to guess. I didn't know it was a dog whistle. I didn't know it was a dog whistle. Like, I got told the other day,

I didn't know that nonce meant pedophile, so I was just calling people nonces. I don't know this stuff i don't know this stuff brendan david just robbed you of so many racist patron donors i'm so mad all right um to to put it you can keep this in me being like stupid and not knowing it's fine no shit we're keeping it in um essentially that makes a lot more sense because the guy that came up with that phrase was a really like a hard right guy now that i think about it this was in community college no

oh no and i just didn't know so i just went along with it that i've been telling stories about this for the last eight years. How many people have you told undesirables to? Well, call this I'll change the name to the tale of Kitsu King and his band. Okay. When I went to

community college, all throughout my life I've been a bit of a weirdo magnet. Case in point. I try to make friends with a lot of people in high school and in college just to like get to know people um i don't really do that anymore because like retail sucked that life out of me and i'm a shriveled husk of like a sociable person because of it um when i was in college, I would kind of talk to most people. And another name we had for a certain type of person

who would be a very hyper-specific version of weird would be the Boothies or the Booth Kids because our cafeteria had a series of like restaurant-style booths and they were right next

to electrical outlets. Oh, that's so strange. Boothies would always have gaming laptops that would drain power, so they needed the power sockets. So Boothies were always a specific type of person. It's like a subspecies of like staircase kids. Yes.

Oh, yes. Oh my God, dude. That brings me back. Holy shit. Have I talked about John on this podcast? Maybe. Do you need, if you need, can you censor yourself if you need to censor that? I don't.

I don't need to censor it. Okay, fuck you, John. Is that a fuck you, John, I don't need to censor it? That's a fuck you, John. I hate John. This is related to John and Kitsu King. I'll tell Kitsu King first. If I've reiterated or talked about John on the podcast before,

I do apologize to any listener. I don't think you have. All right. We'll start with Kitsuking. I had a couple friends that were very heavy into kind of that Tumblr subculture at the time, talking about Homestuck, talking about the Onceler, all that stuff. And I'd hang out with them every once in a while because they were fun people and I liked them. And it was me and these two girls that i was friends with and i'd hang out with them at

the booth when i wasn't talking to my other like two groups of friends because like i said i talked to everybody that i could i wanted to give everybody as much time as possible they had someone who i dubbed kitsu king he was part of the Boothies with two other people, three other people, a girl, John, and somebody that I won't talk about to not raise Chris-Chan parallels. This question, this is so much. This feels like you're describing a tavern we walked into on Folk and Dagger. You have to understand. There are so many layers. Kitsu king was called as such because he wore a tail and wore a fox hat oh no so we called him kitsune king or kitsu king for short also

yes that's a tumblr subculture thing the once lure is a tumblr sexy man don't worry about it do not look it up so fucking nightmare i have to kitsu king is a layered individual and this is just one debriefing of one member of the boothies kitsu king was obsessed with wendy's and not just the food kitsu king would multiple times while i peeked at his tablet he he had a Wendy girl background. Sometimes he would pull up gallery on his tablet and just look at pictures, non-sexual pictures of the Wendy's girl. Yes. Okay, this is relevant because two things I knew about Kitsuking.

He liked Wendy's and he loved, he loved Fruits Basket. I was in anime club at this college for two days. Why is it always fucking Fruits Basket. I was in anime club at this college for two days. Why is it always fucking Fruits Basket? What do you mean why is it always Fruits Basket? It's either Fruits Basket or it's fucking Clonod.

I was in this anime club with my two friends for like two days. So like two weeks. And both times he got to show, both times it was Fruits Basket. My most aggravating encounter with him. And I'm going to do an impression of his voice here. And I want you to understand that this is not,

this is not exaggerated. This is exactly how he sounded and exactly what he said. I'm sitting with my friends away from the Boots. We're at this point, and David, you are right. He should not have been calling them the undesirables. Yeah, 100%. Oh, my God.

100%. No, it was the Boothies is a much better word. Boothies is a way better word. I don't know. You already had a word for them. What the fuck. I don't know. You already had a word for them. I don't know. I got confused. Okay, it was college. It was a weird time. That's where I met

my wife. I was sitting with my two friends and I don't know, they were looking at Homestuck or trying to get me into stuff like that and I was just kind of trying to fight back with everything in my life because a week earlier i'd quit being a brony because i saw someone looking at pony porn right in the cafeteria i knew it was gonna come up every time community college it always comes it always comes up this is like a week after that brendan

that was the turning point in your life right yes oh my god Kitsukin walks up and he is in a we're in this side of the community college where there's these high standing stools with small tables and I'm at one of them and my two friends are at the other side Kitsukin walks

up to them and he looks at them and he says you're both very, very nice girls. And thank you for coming to anime club. Would you like to get a chocolate milkshake with me at Wendy's? They call it a frosty there. Maybe a root beer float. Would you like to go get a root beer float with me?

Either one of you. And they've been telling me that he had been kind of harassing them on and off so i look at him and i say hey fuck off just immediately like i escalate it to a hundred immediately uh and he's scariest thing in my life he walks away sits down behind me at the table and he's mumbling to himself loudly so I can hear you can't talk to me that way you can't disrespect me I'm gonna get you

I'm gonna get you so bad I'm gonna get you there's more you went to fucking college with the darkling Kara understand there's more wait for it six years go by in my apartment building to take the laundry downstairs i look over and i see someone walk

out of the same building i'm in the bottom the one of the middle apartments and they have a fox hat and a fox tail and they look directly at me wink and walk away it's fucking Kitsukin in my apartment building this is horrifying are you

do you know Brendan Kitsukitzer might be a listener he might be listening right now and he's like yes talk about talk about me to give me power give me power he sounds like Linkara chills

spark notes about other members of the Boothies one of them got in trouble because she left her crusty panties in a dorm room when she moved out. Like a pile of them. Jesus Christ. One of them was

named John. John dressed up like Matt Smith's the doctor from Doctor Who but he'd get mad whenever anybody told him about it he wore a tweed suit and a bow tie and he kind of looked like if matt smith was like a caveman craziest comparison um that's so mean i hate john i fucking hated him understand this man would walk up to me without like i gave him one inch he took five miles he

would walk up to me sometimes and just start monologuing at me about superman and how underrated superman is oh no this guy is like a duckman's audience i can see the type i can see the type awful my most engaging encounter with john was i was sitting with him and he's talking about Walt Disney. And I make like a Walt Disney anti-Semitism joke, like family guy style. And he stops. He is shaking the cafeteria booth table and he is getting red. He grabs his chalky milk in one hand and he throws it as hard as he can and he points at me and yells don't you ever fucking say that again i will kill you

walks away the next day i see him he acts like it never happened. What the fuck? Wow. John allegedly got kicked out of college for working in the cafeteria and stealing partial pallets of food and bringing them to his room. And like confidence stealing too, like grabbing them

in his hands and just walking out with them to his dorm. It took them three months to find out he was doing this. Fucking hell was doing this i actually feel like i just got fucking flashbang like i'm just staring literally i'm staring five years later no sorry seven no eight years later seven years later who walks into best buy when i'm working there none but john still wearing the suit no he was wearing like normal clothes and he would come up to me all the time and talk to me about bitcoin how he needs to buy a really expensive camera cryptocurrency i can't believe i have both of these people reoccurring in my life and i don't want to deal with it anymore

you recognize that you deserve it right i mean yeah the guy who came up with that name like took me out on his farm once to like hang out and play i think it was like madden or something and he just kept like he just kept bringing up he knew i was like a liberal so i was like mad at or something and he just kept like he just kept bringing up he knew i was like a liberal so i was like his token liberal friend and one one one conversation i remember with him is him just looking at me and being like how do you really feel about the blacks i never talked to him ever again maybe you shouldn't be repeating this shit this dude is saying. I never, ever talked to him again after that. I was like, uh-uh, nope.

I'm out of here. I was done. Oh my god. I told you it was a lot. Yeah, dude. I was like, I noticed I was just staring at fucking my waveform as we were recording and I was just not breathing for like so long. I was just not breathing for so long.

Mine was a flat line. So, Brendan. You don't have to answer how you feel about the blacks, but would you like to answer a question from one of our lovely patrons? Jesus Christ. What a great segue. Fuck.

LoneStarDoge asks, would you rather live somewhere the sun never rises or somewhere the sun never sets? Never sets. Never rises. Nighttime all the time. I would go fucking crazy if I lived in Yeah, I need that vitamin.

Actually, you know what? You're saying that? I would probably go crazy too because I have to do light therapy during the winter. We also can't live without the sun. That's what light therapy is all about, baby. Lone Sardot has never seen the B movie and it fucking shows.

Oh. I don't know. The movie didn't have anything to do with sun. Yeah, that has nothing to do these work for the sun dumbass they work for remember when Jerry Seinfeld says I thought they worked for themselves

you know he says is this what we're supposed to be slaves for the white man and he points at everybody that happens in the B movie yeah and then the one black lawyer just skips hisips away that movie is weird where am i yeah what the fuck what the fuck just what's happening i don't know other question let's go let's go keep it going awesome sauce asks with the inevitability of mariah carey right around the

corner do you guys love or hate Christmas music which song is your favorite and or most hated hate I love it so much seven years I if I have to hear one more fucking time

that's gonna be the sound that a gun makes at my fucking temple I swear to god little drummer boy is not gonna be drumming anywhere gun makes at my fucking temple. I swear to God. Little drummer boy is not going to be drumming anywhere else. But at my funeral, allegedly. I like it better when Brendan's playing.

I like the Michael Bublé Christmas album. I think it's very nice. You're a big fan of the boobs? Michael Bublé is a fucking Canadian treasure. He has an amazing voice. I love him. Is Michael Bublé booba or kiki? Yeah, he's Canadian.

Michael Bublé gives me kiki vibes, but he has booba energy. No, he's 100% a booba. No, he has kiki vibes sometimes. He has kiki vibes. No. I feel like straight mom, gay dad, is just kiki vibes. No. I mean, you're Canadian, so... I feel like straight mom, gay dad is just kiki and booba.

No, I think the straight mom, gay dad is a lot more defined than kiki, booba. Because, like, I don't think we've ever had, like, people argue about whether someone is a kiki or booba or a fucking straight mom or a gay dad. Like, typically, if we say, this dude, you're a straight mom, you're a gay dad, most people go... It's an immediate, like, ah, yeah, yeah. You were incredulous? You thought mom or a gay dad. Like, typically, if we say this dude's your straight mom, you're a gay dad, most people go, you were incredulous, you thought you were a gay dad, and then I just, like, looked at you and you were like, I know, I'm sorry. Yeah. I fucking love Christmas

music. I've already started playing it in the store, so our store hasn't started playing Christmas music yet. Wait, you're evil. You're fucking evil. What the fuck, Corbin? I actually want to talk to you less now. Wow, that's so mean.

I'm sorry that I enjoy the spirit. David's the one who just started playing Michael Bublé. I'm a very festive guy. I'm watching your Spotify, David. I'm going to be okay, fine. I'm going to say it. Cold'm watching your Spotify, David. Yeah, so I don't give a fuck. I'm going to be... Okay, fine. I'm going to say it. Cold December Night is the greatest fucking Christmas song of the recent memory.

Like, it's a great fucking song. You get it. You put it on. Your mama likes it. Your fucking grandma likes it. Your aunties like it. Everybody's having a good time around the fucking fire drinking alcohol and having a good time opening presents. It's nice.

I hate Christmas. My favorite Christmas song is Die Hard. I like... It's weird how many punk bands have Christmas albums and I fuck with that. It is weird. Bad Religion has a really good one. I was about to talk about Bad Religion.

Bad Religion's cover of fucking White Christmas is my favorite Christmas song. Mine is... What was it? It's my favorite Christmas song. Mine is... What was it? I also really like Real Big Fish's Christmas album. I like Adam Sandler's Hanukkah album. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel from their Christmas album, The Bad Religion.

The Christmas album went really good. You guys should listen to their Bad Religion Christmas album. It's not bad. When are we watching A Crazy Night? Right now. I don't want to see Poo Poo Deer. I'm good.

I'm good seeing Poo Poo Deer. Do we have another question? I'm looking. Avery, did you answer? I said my favorite Christmas song is Die Hard. Die Hard? Yeah, fine. Okay.

Cameron says, until Wednesday, I'm free every day. Then I'm away's, oh, well, yeah, fine, okay. Cameron says, until Wednesday, I'm free every day. Then I'm away for a week. Oh, wait. Okay. Hey,

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