Please Stop Talking - Test Tube David | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: May 4, 2019

Get your boxes of Cheerios and gallons of water this one's gonna get wacky. Humble Bundle Monthly: http://humble.pleasestopshopping.com/ Humble Bundle: https://www.humblebundle.com/?partner=pstpodcast/ Support the podcast and David on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server!: https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Avery - https://twitter.com/ShammyTV David - https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Ed - https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Mandy - https://twitter.com/Lord_Mandalore Podcast - https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Podcast also available on Spotify, iTunes, and SoundCloud! iTunes: https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify: https://goo.gl/fdVg9V Soundcloud: https://goo.gl/i1zNgC Art by Madbuns: Twitter - https://twitter.com/mad_buns DA - https://madbuns.deviantart.com Other links: David's Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2gAtGSJ David's Soundcloud - @sirmeowmusic #ComedyPodcast #PleaseStopTalking #HospitalStories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. Tax evasion. After the break, an interview with Punk Duck. Only on California Christian Homeowners 109.7 KSBJ Frequency Module. Hey, Cameron. Is that right where you fucking are, Avery? If that is your real name?

Oh my god. I've been down this road before. Tell me something only the real Avery would know. Taxation is theft. And the only exception? Tariffs. Good to know there's some real ones still around. Yeah, same, I guess. Hey, is there a reason we're doing this in the middle of the Californian mountains and not, like, subway?

First of all, gross. Second of all, we need to be somewhere they can't find us. Wait, so does that mean that you... Can you fucking turn that down? Alright, thanks. So, does that mean you know how they're tracking us?

I just know that it happens slower in the mountains. Wait, did you hear that? What? Oh yeah, that's Kyle. What? Yeah, I mean, he was on the way, so. That sounded like it was coming from the boot of your car. Yeah. Why did you kidnap Kyle?

Because he can't see the ads. So, why did you kidnap Kyle? Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with you? Wait, fuck it, god damn it. Why would this piece of shit turn off? I'm glad you- Oh fuck! He made it past my sick tunes! Not Chuck it, We gotta go! Humble monthly subscription

service where you can get a bunch of video games for $12 a month. Wait, what? I forgot all about Kyle. We gotta take the other car. Why the fuck did you kidnap him in the first place? Shut the fuck up, Cameron! Head on down to WimbledonPleaseStopChopping.com now

to check out the early updates and support the podcast and the church. Welcome to the podcast. I really hope he keeps all this in. Oh, he will. Fuck this, I'm grinding the goblin cave. That's it. I don't give a shit.

Mandy, if you keep playing Adventure Quest and we have to delete the episode again, I'm actually going to fucking strangle you. Do we still do the thing where after we say welcome to the podcast, there's a clapping? No. I don't know. That's in the editing. The list of audio devices connected to the operating system has been changed. Do you want to change the... Are you fucking serious?

I'm dead fucking serious, Kyle. You can ask this new pet if you start any rumors. Okay, it's fine. It just did a small pause, but it's fine. Okay, cool. I already know this episode's cursed. Who's here? Are we doing intros?

No, I'm just asking who's here. Like, humanly. I think I'm alright. Mandy, you're not allowed. Mandy, shut up. You're not here. Go back to Adventure Quest. We'll call you back when we need you. Don't go back to Adventure Quest. Please, we just got off Adventure Quest.

You have the story. We just got off it. God. God. Who brought up Adventure Quest? He did. It was you, wasn't it, David? It was David. No. David brought up the Millerverse. No, I was talking about the General Mills. The Frank Miller. No. No, I was talking about the General Mills

The Frank Miller The Frank Miller fucking universe. No, we were talking about General Mills. The Frank Miller Pillsbury universe. Can we get a universe for shitty social games? Like Yoville, Mafia City, Mafia Wars,

Social, Zyngaverse, Turmoil, if anybody remembers Turmoil. I am you. Mandy. Mandy. Please. Oh my god, Mandy. Please.

Just click the fucking close screen, close window button. Just close your screen for the rest of the podcast. Hey, Mandy. You know what, David? You tell your story. Okay. That's what I was saying. Fine know what you tell your story okay that's what i was saying fine i'll

tell my story so the reason why there's been like a short break uh for the podcast and stuff is because i was actually in the hospital for a while and they told me not to work anymore and this is the story of like spending 15 hours in an emergency room oh dude i'm not i'm not like i was about to be interested hospital was how yours was way longer than 15 don't let's just tell your story man i don't want to okay anyways basically i was having like panic attacks and freaking the fuck out having like like uh nausea and whatever and like for a whole week and when i got to like the the monday of the next week i was like shit i need to actually like do something about this. I can't just let this like, let this go on without checking with the doctor. So I called this. So like while I was having a really bad panic attack, uh, I called the, uh, 8-1-1, which is basically, it's like a doctor answers and he tells you like, you tell him your symptoms and he tells you like you tell him your symptoms and he tells you what to do and like what you

should be wary about or like treatments that could be like relief for you so i i basically i he answers the phone he tells me like he he tells me hey hey what's what what what seems to be the problem sir and i'm like well i have i've been having nausea and dizziness and like a shortness of breath and whatever and then he says possibly the worst fucking thing imaginable he like it to somebody that's clearly having a panic attack he just says oh that might be leukemia oh what oh so it's like no do you know how like an over the phone web md dude that's that's it's more used like for like when you're had like if you don't want to if you're like not feeling well but you want to but you want to have like a talk to a doctor because you're alone. It's like that kind of- What else would you ever use?

David, I have to stop you right there. Without wanting to spoil your story, this isn't some fucked up way of announcing you have leukemia, right? No. Okay. No, that's good because then if it was, Ed definitely did spoil your story.

Shit! No. He, the guy just calmly says like, oh, well, you should probably head to the hospital right now because that seems like leukemia to me which imagine imagine imagine having a panic attack like my heart's racing cancer arc and archer it's just oh yeah by the way it's the fucking rein it's the reintegration of the cancer arc and david's life on the podcast it felt i know it felt like it felt like i was getting it's karma i it felt like karma absolutely you're fulfilling your karmic debt and i was like going full circle the moment because like i was

my heart was already like like fucking beating so fast and i was shaking and then he says that does sound like leukemia he said i'm gonna be on the podcast 30 years from now like talking of a story about you and i'm gonna go oh wait i think you have leukemia and i was like fucking freaking the fuck out and he just says you might have leukemia i i was like freaking the fuck out i started crying man i was like oh shit i called my mom. I was like, we need to go to the emergency like right now. So my mom comes and she comes over. She picks me up and we go to the emergencies. And when I'm at the emergency, my mom calms me down and she's like, why would you have leukemia? And I'm like, I don't know.

What does that mean? You fucking idiot I know but she tells me that because the thing is like if I if I had leukemia I think I would have like the symptoms would be like more con like consistent and it's been like very on and off for me and then she's like if it's been super on and off and you have days where you feel absolutely fine, it might just be anemia. Wait, is anemia iron deficiency? I don't know. Anyways, it might be just a thyroid problem or iron deficiency.

Because it's the exact same symptoms without the cancer. And I was like, like yeah that makes sense so like i start calming down we get to the hospital and like i fucking hate hospitals what was that i'm sorry and i'm i'm really glad you asked because it does sound like the twist at the end of the story as turns out i did it said thyroid problem i looked at the server again it looked straight into that boogie as david said oh my god i'm sorry continue continue anyways i basically i get there i get to the hospital and i start feeling a bit better because i tell myself like it it's eventually it's eventually avery don't do that

i'm like eventually it's gonna eventually it's gonna get better and uh i i get i get there there's basically's basically the first step. I don't know how the emergencies work in the US or elsewhere. But basically, you get there. You get there. You take a number. And then you check in with a nurse. Yeah, same thing here.

I think it's a nurse. A nurse. a nurse? Yeah, same thing here and there. I think it's a nurse and then they like do the they basically like put you like give you a number of how serious your case is and I get there they do like a

hemoglobin thing they do like the You're gonna say hemogoblin? Yeah I can't get away from the goblin do like the Hema Goblin. Yeah. I can't get away from Goblin. Someone draw David as the Hema Goblin. The Hema Goblin.

It's just a character from Cells at Work. What? Oh, is that the anime about the blood? Yeah, it is. Well, not blood,? Yeah, it is. No. Oh. Well, not blood, but sure, go ahead. It's not necessarily wrong. I'm not wrong. There was, like, the white blood cells and then the red blood cells and then they fall. You just fucking keep your story going.

I'm not here to talk about the premise of Cells at Work. Leukemia made me think of that Charlie Brown episode where that girl has leukemia. But then I'd mix up my mind and think- I remember it as Charlie Brown having leukemia because he's bald, like he went through chemo. But then it's like, oh no, it was that blonde girl. I didn't know what it was as a kid, I thought leukemia just meant she was like... hired. Bald? Yeah, well because I just remember this blonde girl became bald, like she has leuke leukemia and I was like, oh man, she's bald That's why Charlie Brown is sad too. He realized that

It's horrible There's 10 so much later Continue David Anyways, they give me they give me the least worst How do you say this without being french the just be french the least worst like they they give me like the most urgent least urgent the least urgent yeah the least urgent uh number and i'm like that's like such a fucking relief but i'm still having like i'm i'm still

like just living on adrenaline because i have i think i might have like uh i i'm a bit of a hypochondriac i think it's called where like any tiny like oh no i have a headache oops looks like i have a tumor you know like my brain just exaggerates uh target audience yeah dude yeah i had to block web md on everything dude but um yeah so it hurts dude you have a disease not seen since the middle ages i know it's it's exactly that and i'm like what if i'm the one percent it's very rare but it happens black plague to patient zero david dude no joke i actually like i was don't i was what are you about thinking are you gonna say i thought i had the sequel to the black plague no i thought i had because i was looking at the news at the same time because they just play the news and at one point during the news they say like oh in africa

there's uh they found a new strain of uh this virus and i was like oh my god i'm patient zero i legit i i was like you're not patient zero i know but i'm next well yeah it was just in africa and i was i was just sitting there and eating cereal because i was like if i have iron deficiency i'm just gonna eat a fuck ton of cereal and drink a fuck ton of water to get to make the bad go away you know and i just i was just i i've never eat lettuce or anything i didn't have lettuce i'd only had fucking cheerios and that's what i fucking ate i swear to god no joke i'm i was like mom i told my mom i was like mom if it's an iron deficiency we need to stop by the grocery store and i got a i got a bunch of cheerios and i was just eating like the pack of cheerios like alone

all fucking night for 15 hours i had a fucking i only ate cheerios and drank water. I drank probably like this thing because I have this canteen that's like a liter. I think I legit no joke drank 20 liters of fucking water that day. I just kept chugging water because I was like... How much water do you have to drink to get water poisoning? Oh, dude.

That's a thing? They have to do a lot. It has to be a lot at once though. If you do it throughout the day, you're fine. Yeah, it was throughout, like, 50... There was that lady who died trying to win a Wii, I think, in some radio contest. Oh, yeah. How much is water? Why is that laughing?

That's not funny, dude. Imagine dying because you wanted a Wii. You're an asshole. That's not funny at all. Okay, everybody is the asshole except me that's funny and you guys just fucking threw me under the bus anyways to get back to my story um now i'm in a waiting room and it's been like only one hour because like by the time they like do the smaller tests like getting like

the the your pressure and like your heart rate whatever so it's been one hour and i'm just i'm basically just waiting now for like getting blood tests because i because the thing is in my family they're like there is the running condition where we have underactive uh thyroid glands so i do need to actually check that um anyways i like while i'm waiting there i i'm just like fucking chugging water and shoving insane amounts of cheerios in my face and this this guy, when they saw you chug the Cheerios, they should have bumped you up the most urgent.

I know, dude, actually like there was a grandpa that was looking at me. Cause he was like, there was this really nice old couple that I talked like a bit with. And the first thing he told me was like, you like Cheerios? And I was, like a bit with and the first thing he told me was like you like cheerios and i was and i i didn't have the heart to like be like no i don't actually like them that much it's just because i'm terrified of iron deficiency and you didn't have the heart to explain it to

i mean because it's fucking weird he would have thought I'm a fucking psychopath he would have thought dude that is understandable I didn't have the heart it sounded like you were worried about upsetting him you wouldn't be upset if somebody explained to you oh I've been eating a fuck ton of Cheerios

I would have understood it and then tell the story on the podcast at a later date anyways so uh while i was waiting there was a guy behind me that cut he had like a pretty deep cut on his finger and he went there with his pregnant like cousin and they were both like waiting for the in in the emergencies and the guy was so loud and on the phone and he was he was talking to like his boys and you know that he's talking to his boys because he was like what up man i just fucking caught my finger with like you know the toys like you know when you like the toys and you

you push the it's like a lawnmower but it's a it's a phone do you guys actually know what i'm talking about though yeah i know what you mean the lawnmower phone it's like a lawnmower no i meant the type of person i mean no i'm talking about the toy because there's a really famous toy that's basically just this huge like this phone with a face and like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's in toy story and oh yeah and he was like yeah i cut myself pretty deep on the bottom of it. I was just opening it up. And I just cut myself on it. And he was like fucking delirious.

And he was like losing a lot of blood. Oh, my God. And he was just there. And his cousin was just like rubbing her pregnant belly and going, shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! And I was like, dude, what is this?

This is such a fucking weird mess. My mom was, my mom was fucking crying. She was laughing so fucking much. Like these fucking weirdos behind us. Like the ER was, is it called ER? i guess like er lobby was just full of people and everybody like everybody would like have the look you know you would look at them and they would do like you know the white person look when something's fucking weird oh yeah no i do that look constantly yeah yeah like kind of

weird and fucking moments pass and they they just keep bickering in the back and it's like non-stop eventually i get my name called i go get my uh blood tests so i go into this small room they make me like they make me take off my code and everything and then they ask me like so like do you need to do you need to sit down for this uh for this and i was like what do you mean do i i mean don't you sit down usually for blood tests and then she was like she was so confused by me like asking do you don't you usually sit down for blood tests because i'm pretty sure that because there's there's some people me included that when i get a blood test i have like uh what's the word i get prone to not dizziness prone to actually fainting yeah i get prone to fainting so i'm like i just explained to her well i actually i get prone to fainting so

what would be the best is if like i just on a bed with my feet in the air and she's like what i was like what what do you mean what i don't want to faint and i had to and i i was explaining this to her and she called another nurse because she didn't understand why i would be able to faint i was like listen just i i'll just go on the ground i'll just be on the ground and you can like take my blood if you want like and and she was like so fucking confused she calls another nurse and i'm like okay fuck it i and i'm i'm just sitting there i'm waiting for the other nurse to get there because she seems so fucking confused the other nurse comes in and she gives me she gives me like a vial and a huge bottle well huge it's it's pretty big but it's like not big enough and she's like we need a urine test

i go to the restroom i don't know if you you know you guys know how big like the bottles to piss in are right yeah they're pretty big yeah have you guys ever done it no like urine tests yeah urine tests dude i started i started pissing in the smaller one oh i took one while i was unconscious that was the worst call possible i started pissing in the small one and when i started i've been drinking so much fucking water like it just fucking flew out and i i was like oh shit whoa and i had to anticipate that i did not anticipate that because i was like i was like in the big the big bottle probably has enough. You were going to say I was in the zone. I was in the zone, dude, no.

Because the big bottle for the urine test is, it's like pretty big. So I'm like, that's about how much I pee. Like, I don't know how much I pee, but that's probably around it. I start peeing and immediately it's like, it starts over, like almost overflowing. And I'm like like oh no shit fuck and i had this i had my water bottle and my cereals with me for some reason i brought them with me like in the restroom and i was just like juggling juggling a bottle of piss a bottle of water cereal and a small vial of piss and i was like struggling so hard eventually i make i fucking make my way back

to the lady and i give it what did you do with the rest of the piss i pissed it on in the urinal not urinal but okay because when you brought up when you brought up that you were holding your cheerios and water bottle while running out of room for your piss i thought that was going in a very different direction dude i mean i mean i'm not gonna say there wasn't i'm not gonna say there wasn't spillage but it wasn't on me and i cleaned it up so i i eventually go back did you piss in your cheerios that's the question that mandy and i are trying no no no no god, no. I would have been so destroyed. I thought you didn't even like Cheerios, you bitch. And that grandpa would have had a lot of floor questions.

I'm having audio problems. Oh, cool. Okay, it's back. There you go. Okay, sorry about that. Sorry about that. I've gotten zero Windows updates. I'm good. It's okay.

We'll just cut that out later. Oh, God. Mandy, stop fucking playing Adventure Quest. Mandy. Is that a gun? Do you have a gun? dates i'm good it's okay we'll just cut that out later oh god mandy stop playing adventure is that a gun do you have a gun yes baby earth dragon why does it fine why does the dragon look like porn i go back i go back to the lady i give her my vial of piss and my bottle of piss and she's like she she looks at it and she starts investigating it and i i just sit i sit down and i'm waiting for her to like take my blood and she she looks pretty upset and i'm like i i'm confused i'm like because i i i've never done this before so i tell myself like oh shit i definitely did something wrong so i'm like sorry did i did never done this before so i tell myself like oh shit i definitely did

something wrong so i'm like sorry did i did i did i fill it too much or and then she she's like this isn't piss what you put you put water in this because i drank so much water my piss was like clear like completely transparent no fucking yellow and she was like sir did you put water in this bottle and i was like no why would i do that and then she says i saw you go in there with a water bottle and i was like no i was like no why would i why would i do that and she starts saying like this is you are wasting people's time by doing this and i was like i was like what it's warm it's warm i was so upset and i was like no no, I swear. Why would I fucking?

And then I eventually convinced her by saying like, I feel like I'm going to fucking my heart is going to explode. I might have leukemia. Can you just like, why would I fucking cheat on this test? I want to feel better. I don't want to feel like like this forever. And then she's like, eventually, she's like, fine. She just puts it on the side. And then I guess she was like fucking upset because she just straps in my fucking arm,

looks at my fucking veins. She's like, oh, that's a fucking juicy one. She legit tells me that. And I've never, let me just say this by the way i am i have like a fear of not needles but just anything that pierces skin or like opens it up like just anything like that sharp yeah just sharp things just fuck me up i was like like on the fucking bed that they got me and she just fucking jammed it in so fast. I've never I didn't know you could jam it in that fast. She just started like really fast, just sucking out the blood.

Like usually I'm pretty sure they're supposed to like take five seconds or some shit to like pull it out. Dude, she pulled it out in one second i was feeling like ass i had i i needed a fucking couple handful of cheerios after that i tell you what like jesus christ anyways eventually eventually things like she my blood tests are done my urine tests are done she's like the doctor is going to call you in a bit just go back in the waiting room i go in the waiting room sit next to my mom i tell her what happened she's like what the fuck and we just watch the news and wait and wait and wait and wait. We waited, I think, five hours. Jesus. At that point, it was five hours.

And I was just waiting for the doctor to see me. Meanwhile, while we're just waiting, the fucking delirious guy and his pregnant cousin, I'm not even fucking joking. They called their friends and they were having a party in the ER. What? I'm not even joking. He was calling, like, because the guy was like, bro, dude, do you want to come smoke weed and then we can like wait in the er with me because i might wait for a while and then her cousin was like was like

calling her friends and her family and they their group was it a fucking quinceanera i don't know it was so fucking weird they just all went out to smoke weed at one point like at one point the three of them because the cousin was with like her uh husband or I don't know her fucking boyfriend whatever and they they all went out to smoke weed very loudly they were like very adamant to let everybody know in the er that they were going out to smoke weed so they're just like all right we're going to smoke weed now and they just left they come back quadruple the size like they come back individually i mean maybe not they're like at that point i think there were like 20 of like these guys.

Oh, my God. And they were all just waiting on it. And they started playing trap music. That can't be allowed. You can't do that shit in the ER. No, it's not. No, it's not. You know why I know that's not allowed?

Because they got kicked out? Because security fucking came over. So security eventually comes over, and they're like, what's happening over here? You can't, because like, first off, you can't actually like call people in the ER. You have to like go outside. Like there's like a small room

where you can actually like call people and talk a bit louder. And they've been basically like just calling non-stop and being like what the fuck is up really fucking loudly in the ER but in French yo what up tabarnak yeah that's French

yo tu veux tarifier des splits dude yeah that's french y'all terrified these dude i just got ptsd from that they were fucking they were the most white trash french canadians i've ever seen in my life and yeah the the security

comes and they're like you guys need to leave like right now and they and then the guy was like, in the ER. And then he, he was, he was like, well,

but, but they're here to support me in my time of need. And the, the, the, all the, all the dude bros were like were like yeah we're just here for him man like bros dude we're just here for him and the security was like you there we have a limit of only one person and it was like a fiasco because like eventually the security like was like no okay

this we're done with this they like started like people like telling people like you're leaving and they took people out of the building but the thing is every one to two hours they just fucking came back like they would come back and when they would come back they would be like what's up kevin and then it was dude i'm not even joking when i was saying that the whitest trash french canadians are all kevins and cindys like i don't know why but it's a fucking thing and uh yeah it was like almost 15 hours of waiting for that and uh eventually i i think eventually because i i i'm gonna be real like i almost passed out at one point because it was like 15 hours on adrenaline non-stop yeah when i woke back up they were gone i think they just like went because the guy was

delirious i'm pretty sure like he was in front of me in the like urgency uh not i guess scale tier list the urgency tier list anyways yeah so eventually i get my name called 10 hours in. My mom and I are so fucking glad. I fucking run to the, okay, maybe I don't run, but I fucking pace really quickly because I want this shit done to the lab, I guess, where it's happening the room and i sit down and they say we need to do another blood test because and i'm like oh i you have to be shitting i'm like what happened

because the nowadays now like it's not the day anymore. It's like, what? Night? Evening? It was like midnight. I think it was around midnight. I'm like, but I did urine tests and blood tests. The nurse is like, you did urine tests? I'm like, what?

What do you mean? Why are you so confused by urine tests and where's my other blood test and she he's like i like he clear like he's clearly like trying to find a reason why i need more like why they lost one blood like they basically they i'm pretty sure they just lost my blood tests and my urine tests and they were like trying to find reasons and they were like oh yeah well it's because we we uh the the last blood test we didn't we didn't take the right blood for it and i was like no way they said that i don't say that in french did they get the same blood on accident?

Okay. C'est parce qu'on n'a pas pris le bon sang pour. Fallait qu'on prenne du sang d'ailleurs. It's like the middle ages. I'm not joking. He took the wrong humors out of you. He was like, we need to take

the blood from somewhere else in your body. And I was like, fuck it. fine fine just do it they lost it i know they 100 lost it i just i'm like okay fine david blood just floating around in the canadian medical system it's just somewhere who the fuck knows if you find it can you mail it back to me i just fucking i'm like okay i just someone at the hospital was a really big fan of pst and they were are gonna get freaky there's another day being grown right now i just fucking oh no please oh my god it's gonna be like oh wait no spoilers for a new movie never mind anyways

uh you could have just said it's like Aliens Resurrection. I never watch Aliens Resurrection. Oh, that's a stupid, good movie. It's so good. But anyways. Alien 3 was boring, Resurrection is stupid. I sit down, I, like, they start, like, tightening up my fucking blood place, my veins, I guess. My blood place my veins I guess my blood place

and then and then he just is that what the doctors called it well it's what I call it were you delirious did all this happen in an alley hey pal I mean I was like

tighten up your blood place I think I was having the longest panic attack of my life. And I just sit down. I just sit down. He takes his like little alcohol thingy and he just starts like putting the alcohol at the exact same spot where they fucking put the needle last time. Did you tell him, excuse me, sir, you're trying to draw from the wrong place. That's the wrong blood. That's the wrong blood.

I didn't say that. I just said that. Oh, that's where the last person drew blood. You can tell from the place where they drew blood. The fucking mark. The needle mark. And then he was like, oh, yeah. And then he just did it

Fuck it Absolutely a David being thrown in a test tube right now I would've been so much less upset Just say it just say yeah we lost it like we lost it between two shifts you can just say it we lost it between two shifts my co-workers are incompetent i don't know just say something i don't give a shit that doesn't instill confidence either i mean i know but if you're trying to be like, if you're lying to me, like clearly. Yeah.

I'm even more upset because then you're going to, you're going to tell me I have anxiety when I actually have leukemia. And like, I go back, I sit down, five more hours pass. God, I want to cry every time I think back at that. I get my actual name called for real this time. And I actually see a doctor. And basically I was waiting like, let's say I was maybe waiting 15 hours just for my blood test results. That's all it was.

I go in the room. I sit down. I wait another 30 minutes in the ER, the actual ER this time. And eventually the doctor comes in. He's like, okay, so what seems to be the problem? I tell him everything that's going on. And he's like, okay, okay. Well, okay.

And anything else? And I say, well, what about the blood tests? What blood tests? And what blood tests? And what? No way. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, dude. I'm not even fucking joking. Not even fucking joking. I feel like I have what blood tests dude what blood tests i'm like i i wanted to fucking cry when he said that i was like i like i i was like what were they so tired how did they diagnose you without running blood tests i mean they didn't at that point they didn't they were just like i was just he was just saying

the symptoms and i and i was like oh yeah by the way what are the results for that because i wanted things to go fast and he was like what and i'm like i i was like getting pretty angry at the whole thing and i was kind of bitching i was like i've been waiting 15 hours for these results i've done two blood tests so far and one urine test for no apparent reason, apparently. And then he was like, wait, they made you do a urine test? I was like, exactly, exactly. Why? And then he was like, okay, well, I'll be right back.

I'm going to go check if we can find the blood test. And I'm like, oh my fucking God. I wait another like 30 minutes he comes back with the actual fucking results for real this time and he tells me it's anxiety it's just it's it's just extreme severe it's like severe anxiety disorder mixed with extreme overworking and fatigue and he was like well i'm gonna come here to help your symptoms and that's how i got free xanax at what cost that xanax was not free 15 hours of my fucking life so much blood

your identity there's gonna be at any point David if you drastically change your personality I'm going to assume you got swapped oh my god what a fucking horror story

but yeah I'm like for people Yeah, dude. Oh my god. What a fucking horror story. But yeah, no, I'm like, for people wondering, I'm getting better, and I'm actually like, I haven't had a panic attack in a while. Just so people don't worry about that. Sure, the hospital didn't help much with that. No, no, the fucking hospital did nothing to help me. You have a leukemia, maybe?

No. For anyone wondering, I got my blood back. Don't worry about why are they taking your blood it's like if you have leukemia that's important you need that i know i know i'm so glad it's not leukemia though i'm so glad that after 15 hours, I eventually found out what was happening. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Wait, is leukemia the Sarah Connor disease? What? What the fuck is the Sarah Connor disease? That's what she died of. Sure. Was it? Yeah. Pretty sure.

Well, spoilers. Spoilers and also what the fuck. Hang on. Let me look. Sarah Connor. sure was it yeah pretty sure well spoilers and also what the fuck hang on let me look Sarah Connor oh no that's right in Terminator 3 she died of uh that's right oh my god spoilers Sarah Connor has died from acute myloid leukemia thank you

I could have been the Sarah Connor of this podcast if only God let me I could have been the Sarah Connor of this podcast. If only God let me. Don't let me, please, God. You did just wish for leukemia, so if at any point in time David gets diagnosed with cancer, I would need everyone who listens to the podcast to know that he wanted it. It is what?

It's fucking Easter right now. This is the time to wish for shit. Boy, you got leukemia. Do you wish for things around Easter? I wish for a speedy recovery. Thanks. What is this Easter wish? What?

I wasn't going to comment on the Easter wish. You guys don't make Easter wishes. There's no Easter wish. I really like Ed's understanding of Christianity will never not be funny to me jesus comes back and he's like what do you want i mean if i'm real like uh i i think i, I mean, in my family, in my family, at least, during Easter time, we give each other, like, small presents, but I think that might be, like, more of a, I'm not sure if it's a French-Canadian or a French thing.

I mean, people give each other Easter baskets sometimes. Well, I got a blender for Christmas. Oh, nice. Or not Christmas, Easter, sorry. Keep getting those two mixed up. Do you bake carrots for the big rabbit too? Yeah, you leave it out.

Yeah. Do you do carrots in a glass of water? Leave the carrots out. Yeah. Glass of water, Cheerios in a glass of water. Rabbits can't eat water.

And hay for the eggs. Are you fucking... Oh boy, you gave me anxiety right there. You sure it was anxiety? This whole time you thought rabbits could drink water until I reminded you they couldn't.

Wait, can they not? Oh my goodness. Ed. Ed, you can't play with me like this. I'm super naive. I trust people too much. Can we just do the Patreon questions? Are we just doing the one story? You can't play with me like this. I'm super naive. I trust people too much. Can we just do the Patreon questions?

Are we just doing the one story? Do I have to go another fucking however long without knowing about the play story? How long is the play story? How long is the play story, Mandy? We've been recording for 45 minutes. We can't do the play story. I agree. It's fine

oh man is that a to be continued nice Patreon questions if you're part of the tier 10 dollars and above tiers on patreon dot com

slash sir meow music you can ask a Patreon question and we'll answer it on the show. And if you're... And you'll see exclusive screenshots of Avery stopping me from playing video games. And you can also, if you're $20, you get access to our general chat with all the racism.

Well, to be continued on that one, Ed. Anyways, I didn't check questions. No, you don't. I'm looking at him. There's no emoji. I just looked in the question.

Yeah, I know. Why is that the first one it showed up? Why is that the first one? I can get rid of it. I can get rid of it. I can get rid of it if you... I can get rid of it if it's bad. You know? If you don't want to talk about it.

I love how it asks the date before it. What? Now I'm not sure what you're talking about. Should we do the... The Spy Kids one. Should we do the Derek Schwimmer one? Wait, what's the Spy Kids one? I didn't see the Spy Kids one. What is it?

The Spy Kids one is ripped from an episode of Schmucks. I don't really want to do it. Oh, yeah. I mean, we could do it, I don't really want to do it. Oh, yeah. I mean, we could do it, I guess, because we just mentioned it. Now people are going to be curious. Just leave it. You'll never know what it means.

Okay. Should we do the Derek Schwindler one? Yeah, go ahead. Derek Schwindler asks, Hello hello Serviau sorry I haven't gotten back to you in a while I've been busy with work and what not I'd like to ask you all mostly you and Shammy

if you could choose another animal to represent yourself what would that be oh shit that's actually a hard one I fuck with crocodiles I know you didn't ask me fuck you but crocodiles does it know you didn't ask me. Fuck you, but crocodiles. Does it count if it's still a cat?

That's not a different... Does it count if it's the same goddamn thing? I don't know. Because I was going to say... I can't believe you're talking shit. I can't believe... I was was gonna say a hairless cat okay um hmm what are the the most ebbing animals on earth oh what's that i saw a fucking animal that's so

weird and it's like super dangerous and it has like it just has two legs and it's like no what what why are you so far away Ed sorry I went to go pick up a coke can it fell I was

the last thing I heard before I got my headphones off was the rapper no it's like a thing that what is it called oh I have a picture of it but I don't know what it's called it's this I looked in general and it was an adventure quest screenshot I looked in general and it was an adventure quest screenshot. I looked in general and it was Boogie. A Jerboa! A Jerboa!

I don't get it. Oh, it does have like T-Rex arms, actually. Avery, what would yours be? What would mine be? I don't know. A ball python or a dwarf caiman. What's a dwarf caiman? I don't know what either of those are.

It's like a tiny crocodile. It's like a little crocodile. It's like a little crocodile. They're fucking sick. That's actually cool. What about you, Ed? With your duck? I already said bitch.

I also said crocodile, but fuck. No, ShammyTV stole my thunder and he has more subs shammy TV stole my thing and he has more subs so people will say I'm copying him so fucking that's how it works what about you man give me a second I'm thinking of something

instead of horse I'm the only person here without a fursona so I don't have to answer this question it specifically asked me and David I don't know why oh my fursona, so I don't have to answer this question. It specifically asked me and David. I don't know why. Oh, my fursona would be Coco Jumbo. Yeah, that's what I sent that image for. I knew what I was doing.

What's Coco Jumbo? Mr. President, where are you? Just a magic turtle. That's all it is. mandy fuck you mandy oh my god let's not spam patreon question chat with that it's it's my stand mr anon guy asks thanks for the grade a content my question is this if you could live in any world from a video game, which would it be? I think we've answered this. No? Did we? Am I crazy? I feel like we have. Different guy asked. I'll do it. I mean, I can do it

another time. Oh, yeah. I think people said Mass Effect and stuff, I think. I remember correctly. I don't think that's accurate because who would say Mass Effect? I don't know. Oh, I guess Brendan would say Mass Effect. Yeah, I think it was Brendan. Oh, yeah, because I think

Creel answered it, too, because he said some Final Fantasy thing. Oh, Creel and I both said Chrono Cross, I think. Yeah, that's right. Because that's exactly what I was going to say. I wasn't even on this episode. Well, now you can answer. Oh, okay. We're doing it again.

I mean, yeah. Oh, God. you can answer oh okay we're doing it again uh i mean yeah oh god no god you're on the spot i'm looking around video games um dude i don't know video games are ass say yakuza no what say yakuza you just want to be i don't fucking speak japanese but you could if you lived there but like i'd be living as I am now. Like, it would teleport me there. I wouldn't be like, you know? Would it, would it though? I like the idea of everyone still being...

If you could be born and raised in a video game place, which one would you pick? I don't know how it works. We haven't set up the rules of this universe. Okay, let's say it's born and raised, so I'd be Japanese. Eh, also no. You walk down the street in Yakuza, you get your ass beat. Yeah. Hmm.

Ed, you'd be so much bigger than everyone, though. Dude. Like, you think Kiryu's tall? That's relative height. That man's four foot. Let me look at my Steam list. I guess Resident Evil 7. that'd be cool what what what to be honest i opened steam that was the first game i saw so yeah no shit

ed i remember when we were driving through swan oh dude fucking psych it's not chrono cross my pick is fucking uh what's i don't it's latin bullshit give me a sec i need to find it cool what scala aid calum from mine would be mirror's edge cool future scala aid scala ad calum from Kingdom Hearts 3 because it looks fucking insane. I'd love to live in cyberpunk or Warhammer. I'd be a Commissar. They look so cool. I wouldn't die in a trench. I wouldn't die immediately. I'd be an epic space marine. Yeah, you've spent so much time arguing in internet forums about how your fucking fantasy space dad could beat up everyone else's fantasy space dads. Okay, I got mine. You're qualified.

Master Chief. My space brain could kill 10,000 Master Chiefs. You're qualified. I got mine. Mine would be Bioshock Infinite pre-Carnival. You want to live in a racist, nationalistic society? Yikes. What the fuck? Yikes!

Yikes, Ed! Hey, Ed! What's up? How can't you belong to Reed? I don't know! He's tied up to a pole at this carnival, though! You can ask him! I like how Ed was making fun of Cyberpunk for a ha-ha cool future.

He goes to the racist nationalist utopia and goes, Wow, cool balloons! Oh my god. How is your joke answer better than both of your real ones? Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Yeah, we're moving on. I got my giggles.

Yeah, Avery. Avery, what's yours? I don't fucking have one. My brain exploded. What do you mean you don't have one? Just find one. Just think of a game. I love this silence.

This silence when I said pre-carnival. I can't think. Fucking, I want to live in the world of knockback. I can't think uh fucking I want to live in the world of knockback it's a game made by Mormons where dinosaurs shoot each other with guns that knock them off platforms that's my answer

isn't that just stick fight the game nah knockback is a first person shooter. I don't know why I'm visualizing this like the banjo tooey. I own it. It's free. You guys want to play it? Knockback. God. Mandy, what's yours?

I guess I live in oblivion just like wander around like talk about the weather bullshit to people you're still you I don't think Mandy would die to wolves I think he would be crafty Mandy would become the wolves

they like swing down Mandy would trick the wolves into doing his bidding Olivia swings. They like swing down. Mandy would trick the wolves into doing his bidding. Why are you doing this? That's my life in Cyrodiil becoming a level 4 cave boss. Yeah, no, Mandy would beat up all the wolves. Mandy would beat up so many wolves that he would become a legend and there would be art of him beating up the wolves in every city. Fuck off. He would be the guy they worship instead of phallus.

I'm going to live in a bandit cave and be killed by protagonists. I would die in a bandit cave and have like an okay pair of pants to take off of me and that's it. Wait. Never should have come here. Wait, David, did you just delete the one I was looking at? The drink one? It's gone. I think we had it on

like one of the last... Damn it, I was gonna say David's blood. Fuck. Kyle Ripper asks what's everybody's favorite blood drink no we're done we're not doing that I had blood on the mind I said blood instead of drink let's do

last one who knows wait are we doing the drink one or are we picking something else Last one. Who knows? Wait, are we doing the drink one? Or are we picking something else? I don't know. I feel like we did all the questions. We just did two.

We literally only did two. How do you think David feels? He's got no blood. Please donate blood to my Patreon. I don't need this money. I need iron. Just give me blood. Yeah. I don't even know.

What is a pride fighting competition? I don't know. That's what I was wondering know Is that wrestling but like more overtly gay? I don't know Let's ask Google Shut the fuck up I'm scrolling up It's soccer? It's soccer I think?

No it's not It's Japanese mixed martial arts kiryu i didn't i just realized we didn't read out the question yeah john chapman john chapman asks the psd crew gets one chance to join a pride fighting competition tournament for a grand prize of a billion dollars who would you elect to be the fighter and why is the but is wait is the fighter somebody in this like in pst or is it somebody like i don't know any fighter any fight man if i have to pick someone to fight from this server okay i guess we'll answer for what may be picking some wrestling for years

yeah it should probably be trelly it should be trelly he's not an official member of the podcast though yeah oh right oh well and i'm thinking like brendan's big but he's soft and has lego arms so uh i don't know what cameron looks like so maybe not him uh um kyle they'll just like psychologically torture them to kill themselves. I don't think Kyle can do that. He'd lose his license. I don't think Kyle can fight anyways.

I feel like he's a lover, not a fighter. Who in the podcast has ever been in a fight? I mean, I've been in fights but that was ages ago. I've been in fights, but that was ages ago. I've been in fights, yeah. Yeah, it's been a few years. I mean, in high school or whatever.

I had a fight club, if that counts. You also had a fight club? Yeah. But so many people on the podcast have a fight club. No, but our prerequisite was we had to be shit-faced to join. Seems like the same story as someone else was there one sober boxer there beating up all the drunk people no no no no no no okay different story then i did meet a guy in a in high school college who told me that like after um after him and his friends saw fight

club they hired some like vets to beat their asses what are we talking about oh people that fight uh hmm i don't know fucking incineroar from smash brothers next what was that the first okay Okay, never mind. Rob from Smash. People that could win in a fight from media. I don't play fighting games. Mandy, is this the Hobbit game?

Yeah. Hmm. I feel like we're done. Yeah! We just need to eject! Uh... Is anyone gonna plug anything? Duke Nukem from Duke Nukem Forever. I gotta plug my- I am...

I am... He'd win in a fight. He'd win every fight. He's so strong. No, I'd pick Gok. You can- I was gonna say Gok Okay You can follow me On Twitter at Sermiao Music

On Soundcloud at Sermiao Music Ah fuck it Fuck Soundcloud unfollow me from Soundcloud It's gonna die anyways uh you can check out my music sir meow on spotify on apple music and pretty much everywhere else and i stream on wednesdays and sundays at 9 p.m est on twitch.tv why don't you give the time you stream a good feature, David? In PST? Wow. Is it 6?

Is it 6? Is 9-6 PST? Yeah, okay. I thought you meant 6-hour difference. No, it's 3-hour difference. Whatever! 9pmpm EST use a converter is that it should we end it on something funny

or are we done okay you guys don't want to plug oh am I plugging you can if you want oh damn okay hey for everyone that listened all the way through you're about to get a treat you can find me on youtube at punkduck and everywhere else is also that that's it that listened all the way through, you're about to get a treat. You can find me on YouTube at PunkDuck, and

everywhere else is also that. That's it. No, it's PunkDuck underscore on Twitter, you fucking... Nah, follow the other guy. Whoever you find when you type in PunkDuck on Twitter, follow him. I'm actually curious. I'm actually curious. What does PunkDuck on Twitter

without the underscore? Last time he tweeted was 2010. What did he say? I don't know. What does PunkDuck on Twitter without the underscore? Last time he tweeted was 2010. What did he say? I don't know. Something racist. The person with at Shammy has tweeted twice. The other me runs a Minecraft channel. I know, but that one... He tweeted once about his Minecraft channel,

never again. Dude, I should make a movie where it's like you get reborn as the person who stole your Twitter at and you have to live their lives until you find them. This is like a Black Mirror episode. And then when you touch, you turn into cubes.

What? I get it. You're an idiot. Can we fucking... Stop doing that. Stop doing that. I'm the only one here who's going to get any of them. That's not even a part 7 thing. It's a cubes thing.