Please Stop Talking - The Scrolls (feat. MandaloreGaming, Punk Duck & Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: December 16, 2022

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that the actual fucking meta of that game isn't actually playing the game and winning like death matches and shit the real fucking meta is to go in a match the moment you hear somebody start talking you just start talking about norbit i did i did i did hear about this as part of the battle pass i keep joining in matches of call of duty and i start talking this is what i say this is my opener right have you guys seen norbit pretty good and then immediately when you say that you finish saying pretty good somebody will call you a slur that's that's how you know you finally discovered the call of duty lobby norbit it's so fun i kept following a kid and he kept saying fuck off man stop talking you, that's a scene in The Woodsman. I can't stop talking

about Eddie Murphy. When I was tired with Norbit, I just started talking about Pluto Nash. Welcome to the podcast. You said tired of Norbit like you were... Adventures of Pluto Nash is the movie that quote unquote killed Eddie Murphy's career, but I've seen that movie 15 times. I heard it's fine. You say that like that means

it changes anything. I mean, my 15 times of seeing the it's fine. You say that like that means it changes anything. I mean, my 15 times of seeing the adventures of Pluto Nash as a kid should at least have helped save Eddie Murphy's career, but then he went and made The Money Tree. Wasn't it because Pluto Nash was one of the only movies you owned, Brendan? Well, that

well, no. Yes. That's not fair. But I mean, it should have counted. We should have hooked up a Nielsen box to the DVD player. You know who else was in that movie? Louise Guzman. You know what else he was in? Turbo. Wednesday. The snail movie. No, he's not in that movie.

Never mind. I was thinking of someone completely different. Wednesday might be the first Netflix show with exactly zero viewers. No, I watched it. It's good. It has the girl from that one. She actually composed like two of the

dance scenes herself. It's a pretty good show. It's probably one of the better like Addams Family things that's more modern, but I'm a monster as an Addams Family freak. Honestly, I do like Jen Ortega. Jen Ortega is fucking so good. I love her. She's in fucking...

She's in you. She's an ex. She's in the Foo Fighters Studio 666. What the fuck is Studio... What? Studio 666 is a movie the Foo Fighters made. It's a horror movie. I was thinking of a different band.

I was thinking of Nirvana. I actually did hear a Foo Fighters song the other day when I was going to a renaissance fair. It was coming out of a fucking band i was thinking of giovanna i actually did hear a foo fighters song the other day when i was going to a renaissance fair it was coming out of a fucking thanos car i'm actually gonna look up see if there's no way this oh my god dano spotted oh god damn it no thanos car is real i was driving with my uh girlfriend to a renaissance fair. The Carolina one, which is kind of near Asheville. It's a ways out. When we were driving there, I started hearing

loud, loud fucking music playing. I gotta go to the bathroom, mate. I think, yeah, it was fucking... I think it was the best of you. But I remember going, wow, that's loud, and looking behind and, like, this car was pulling up and I couldn't tell what it was, but he was's loud and looking behind and like this car was pulling up and i couldn't tell what it was but he was ripping and he had like led fucking headlights

that were flashing through like every color in the rainbow like it looked like a fucking gaming pc and it was pure purple and i'm like what look in the rear view i'm like what the fuck is that and then it came ripping up next to us and i saw the big fucking infinity gauntlet on the side of it oh my god and me and her both went oh as it was passing us and it had a big ass thanos on the back of it and there's there's no way that person has not put this thing online somewhere so no it's real The pain you feel! Because people think the Thanos car is

that truck that has the big grill on the front. This was like a fast-moving car. This was like a paint job. Yeah, it was a paint job. I found a different Thanos car. I don't know what you guys are talking about. It had the rainbow fucking lights on it

to represent the infinity gauntlet that is so fucking embarrassing yeah it heralded such a fucking day was it worth it yeah if uh if top gear were still going i'd want them to have a segment called mcu cars where they just talk about like a bunch of cars that are really cool. I want a Hawkeye car. It just targets women physically. The Hawkeye car is actually what started on fire in Jay Leno's garage. I thought the Hawkeye car would target the Japanese.

No, you're thinking of the Mark Wahlberg car. That was the Vietnamese. Fuck! I'm racist! No, you're not. Which movie is it where Hawkeye is like i'm going to destroy japan because i'm mad about my wife that was endgame right endgame it's been so it's been so long since i've seen any of these movies i've never seen a marvel movie isn't it crazy that

jeremy renner shoved a gun in his wife's face and then he got a whole TV show. Happy Ren's Day. Happy Ren's Day. Oh, God. I fucking love the Jeremy Renner app. I wish it never left. Happy Ren's Day. Now's the time to bring it back. It has a chance. His Bourne movie was the only movie that I left the theater for.

I've never left the theater for any boat movie no matter how bad it was, but me and my ex in high school went to see the Jeremy Renner Bourne movie and we left halfway through because it was just so fucking Bourne-ing. Dude,

when you guys kept saying Shut the fuck up. When you guys kept saying the Jeremy Renner app, I thought you were talking about the movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix. No.

Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with the Jeremy Renner app. the literal Jeremy Renner app. He has an Instagram app, but it's only him i'm posting it in general ed i that's why we say it was wednesday oh yeah i forgot about you can make any name on it you want so like people just see the weirdest fucking shit yeah you just get you just get notifications of jeremy renner You get nothing but Jeremy Renner updates.

I like the Susie Sue trying to get me mate Robert Smith on this. Humpty pronounced the lump tea. Wait, this is official. Jeremy Renner official or Jeremy Renner on the Google Play Store? No, okay, this is real. Jeremy Renner has an app where it's just Instagram. Well, it was shut down long ago. It's not around anymore.

Oh, it's not there? No, it was shut down. Oh, okay. Probably. To like a post, you would have to spend like exorbitant amounts of money. And all the money would go to jeremy renner and you could only look at posts by jeremy renner so it's just an instagram feed of jeremy renner and it was literally his instagram if he opened up a diner would it be called a renster on i hope not brendan

hey stop it i just bought tickets to the Renner-sance fair. I fucking... Buzzing! Hey, Brendan. Hey, Ed. Happy Bren's day. Hey, thank you. Hey, there we go. We're taking it back. We are in the Bren-a-sance. We're taking Jeremy Renner's whole app away. We're gutting it. We're making it the Brendanial app.

You're all welcome. Shelby, watch out. He's got a gun. Oh, no. Oh, that's fucked. Fucking's fucking i'm doing i'm pressing the button fuck you no wait what the fuck just happened what you you brendan you did that and then best of you by foo fighters started playing what how is that how playing? How does that happen? What? I'm not joking. I wish I had Shadow Play on.

My Spotify opened and Best of You by Foo Fighters started playing. And I control the horizontal. I control the vertical. It's because you were listening to what I was listening on Spotify. And I started playing Best of You. That was so scary. Brendan said, fuck you, Ed. I'm hitting the button. I'm through with standing in line at clubs I'll never get in.

That's Nickelback, you fuck. They're the same. They're all the same. Foo Fighters is like someone give me the best the best the best the best what does this have to do with Jeremy Renner Jeremy Renner is saying spare me your tears because Casey Anthony created a fan page

this non-clusive app Mandy you mentioning the Thanos car reminds me of the Sioux city poop car. The hell's a Sioux city poop car. Okay. So me and my wife coined this phrase. We used to go to Walmart, you know, like 11 PM, 12 AM. There was always a car in the parking lot. And to describe this car is to describe God.

So it was like a white sedan and on both sides of the sedan, I think there were curse words, but they were written with the Pokemon unknown. Dude, that's not real. It's so, it's so fucking cool. I'm pretty sure it said like fuck and shit on both sides, but it was written with unknown Pokemon because they're shaped like letters.

And on the back of the car was what I assume was supposed to be. And on the trim as well, I think it was supposed to be at one point like a blood splatter pattern, but it had browned over the years this person had owned this car. So on the back window were all these handprints that were shit colored, and on the back of the car and all along the trim was basically just poop. It's a gross car. It's a Sioux City poop car.

I don't know if I would have rather seen Sioux City poop car or Thanos car. Thanos car is much more exciting, I think. Thanos car was also like not sitting in a parking lot it was ripping down a freeway like going faster than everyone by a significant amount maybe probably was in motion it would be as good i think i think like the thanos car if you had time to examine it would unlock more mysteries about the person the poop car i think is pretty like it's blunt whereas the phantom is more unique it's like oh who the fuck would one of those what she sees what you get type deal i managed to last

so long without laughing at sioux city poop car but brendan just calling it poop car sans the sioux city that finally got me well you're fucking actually you're an infant dude you're such a fucking toddler i was giggling the whole time ed sitting there replaying saints row two just to play the sewage destruction missions over and over again pointing at the tv going random you're actually 12 i uh i recently came back from eng England and I had a similar experience where you guys ever had Greg's? unfortunately yeah you didn't like it?

it was a long time ago I was like 12 isn't Greg's the one Mimi? yeah yeah yeah I got a steak make and I was walking to meet my friend. I was with his girlfriend because we were preparing a big, fancy surprise birthday dinner.

And we were going to go meet him near his office to not spoil the surprise. And the whole time I was eating the steak bake, his girlfriend kept laughing because she had just come back from the hospital she had like a 30-hour shift so she was like super sleep deprived and she kept laughing and saying your steak bake looks like poop your steak bake looks like poop non-stop in public that's the whole thing that's it why why did you have the fevers motherfucker dude Why are you... This fucking guy, man. It was on topic, David. Hey, today's word of the week is poo-poo. Oh, on topic for like poo-poo and pee-pee.

Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was recently. American Thanksgiving, David. American Thanksgiving. You told me about that. No, no, I didn't tell you about this. Oh. So I had my family over because me and my wife usually host Thanksgiving now because she likes to make a turkey.

And then we don't go to like Golden Corral or cater in food. Because usually the old Thanksgiving ritual was let's go to Golden Corral. They have turkey on the buffet. Nobody wants to cook. But now my wife cooks because we have a house. Yeah. And this year was spent arguing with my uncle that there were indigenous people before Vikings. Wait.

He kept yelling at me and saying that Vikings were here before indigenous people. He thought that humanity started with the Vikings. He's like, no, no, no. I watched this thing on the TV. The Vikings came before indigenous people. And I'm like, no, no, no. I watched this thing on the TV. The Vikings came before indigenous people. And I'm like, have you, fuck, are you stupid? And then also I got into an argument with him because my uncle has worked in fast food

and my little brother did as well. And my little brother, my uncle and my grandma live in the same like disgusting hoarder house, right? So my uncle fucking argued with me about like, oh, it's fine to give like the dog human food all the time because he works at Taco Bell. He's a manager at Taco Bell. So he brings human food back for the dog. And I had to sit there

and argue with him for like an hour, like, stop giving your dog human food. And then my grandma wouldn't stop showing me these little doll miniatures she kept making. Like, oh, look at this. This book says Harry Pooper and the sorcerer's bone and i made this tiny little book of it and then i also found out that my grandma did hack my

ruinscape account and did steal my abyssal whip and my dragon chain mail they confirmed it and it's real but on to the poopoo and peepee after everybody left my uncle used the bathroom and then steadily left my house my wife walks into the bathroom and he has pissed all over our bathroom floor. And like, it wasn't even normal piss. It was like brown. Like, it looked like somebody had been chewing tobacco, spitting it in their dick and then spitting it out of their dick. Like a brown sludge of piss all over our bathroom floor. Why was he spit swapping with his cock?

I don't know why he had a brown slurry of piss, but I know why he fucking left my house in a hurry. No, but you said he was chewing tobacco and spitting it on his dick. And then the dick was spitting it out. Have you ever seen dip after it's been spit out? How it's got like that sludgy porridge consistency. It was like solid piss.

No, I know, but I'm just You know the dumb and dumber when the dad walks into the bathroom and it's like, there's poop all over the walls. There's shit everywhere. That was my wife. There's piss everywhere. Wait, wasn't that dumb and dumber? Maybe. I know it wasn't that bob

saget who did that r.i.p scene oh fuck you know that's the last movie jim carrey did before pretending to be an anti-vax guru and that and then that was just like a bit was he pretending yeah he was pretending because they were shooting the Jim and Andy documentary? He pretended to be an anti-vaxxer for like three years for the documentary. Or was it because of his girlfriend or like person? I think it wasn't he dating Jenna McCarthy and she was like one of

the first people that were really important in like the quote-unquote anti-vax movement? Wasn't he like dating her and that's why he was anti-vax and now he's all about Christ consciousness? Yeah, I thought he was just an anti-vaxxer, but then they went, oh, you know, I'm gonna... I'm sorry, I was lying.

Oh my fucking god. Why does Ed always... Ed literally does this all the fucking time. Ed just says shit and lies. Like earlier, he kept lying about Marlo Briggs and fucking Smash

okay but like none of us believed that for a second that they would put Marlo Briggs and Smash before they put like Dante in right? but the thing is he wouldn't stop talking about Marlo Briggs and Smash and then he found a reason by talking about some fucking Soul Calibur character

I love Ed's gaslighting because Ed's gaslighting is just repeating the same bit and then pulling the rug out from under you, but you know the rug is there, so you hop up and then Ed's like, got you, idiot. Oh, no. He's got me, but I don't know if we talked about it on the show, but fucking Julian in Chicago. The Pong shit.

Did we never talk about that? Oh, no. You wouldn't know. Okay. So we went to that uh the big arcade right the ghost oh yeah yeah yeah when we went outside yeah yeah we were all like getting out to go and like serving oh going into the cars and i'm out there ed comes out my god where's julian because he's in her car ed goes oh he's inside he's he's playing pong right now oh i know i remember that yeah he's playing pong and he says he has to beat it and he's playing Pong right now. Oh, no, I remember that. Yeah, he's playing Pong and he says he has to beat it and he's not leaving until he does.

Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, he says it's like a rite of passage or something, but he has to beat Pong, so we have to wait for Julian. But the best part is, we had just spent 30 minutes looking for the entire group because that arcade is massive and just tons of hallways and you have no service in there. So we couldn't text each other.

We had to herd everybody up. And then we finally do. We have the entire group except Julian. So I just come out and say, oh, yeah, no. Like, we were looking for Julian for a while, too. And I come out and I go, oh, I found him. And he's playing Pong. He says he's not leaving until he beats him.

Like, what do you mean beat it? What do you mean beat Pong? Yeah, he says he has to. It he beats it. What do you mean beat it? What do you mean beat Pong? Yeah, he says he has to. It's like a rite of passage. It's something he has to do. And you want to know what our interaction was? I'm going to be real. I was a little bit mischievous in that whole thing.

I found Julian, saw he was playing Pong, and then go up and talk to him. I just left him there. What is... I didn't tell him we wanted to leave i just left in the hope someone would go in there and get mad you're you're such an asshole dude what the fuck i figured somebody else would find him while the lying was happening also david i should tell you um that whole thing i was

saying about the french dub of smash brothers I was talking out of my ass. I know you were. Why are you such a fucking liar, dude? I don't get it. It's not even lies that you can believe, though. I always enjoy it. It cheers me up. It fills me with mirth.

I'm full of mirth. You're full of... I'm girth with mirth. If I could say it, I'm gir me with mirth i'm full of mirth you're full of you're picking it up with mirth if i could say it yeah i'm girth with mirth did you know that incognito mode on your web browser isn't as incognito as you think it would be turns out that your online activity still gets snooped on and data brokers still get to buy and sell your precious online data that's because one of their data points is your ip address which they use to uniquely identify you and your location. But with ExpressVPN, your connection gets rerouted through an encrypted server, and your IP address? It's masked, baby!

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Expressvpn.com slash psdpod to learn more. I do have one interaction from the recent London trip I took that was good. It kind of counts like lying uh me and my friends were eating tacos and we called an uber and you know when like uber like you call it and sometimes it says oh your driver's like uh dropping somebody off first and then

picking you up yeah we came up with this idea that the uber app when that happens to you it should instantly open a chat room with the guy like not the driver the person who's being dropped off and you should be able to talk to the other person to try and convince them to leave so we were saying like hey i'll cover your i'll cover your trip if you get out of the fucking car. And tell him to come pick us up. And then it just sort of escalated into this like bit we were doing where we would bet each other exuberant amounts of money for very like mild things. Like, hey, I'll pay you $20,000 to stop talking to me right now. I'm really tired.

And then we just kept doing it in the fucking Uber. Cause we started this, this fucking stupid inside joke at the taco place. And then we got picked up, but then we kept doing the bit without laughing. And I, and I was sitting in the front seat and I'm an asshole and I wasn't talking to the driver. I was turning my head around and pretty much shouting in this guy's ear and we just kept saying shit like hey i'll pay you twenty thousand dollars right now to exit the car like tuck and roll that type of shit and then we just kept saying that and then i was slowly realizing this uber driver fucking hates us because he probably thinks we actually do have twenty thousand dollars to throw around for no fucking reason because no one's laughing

and then we get to a point where like there's like tons of traffic we've done the money joke like 50 times it's not funny anymore but we keep doing it oh god like every other sentence is i'll give you 20k to do blank you're the worst and then and then we get to a point it's like halfway through our trip and there's like tons of traffic and we kind of realized that if we walk from here, it will actually be faster. And then like, we're just discussing this out loud. Like, do you think we should like just exit off here? And in the moment I turned to the guy like, hey, do you mind?

No problem. Yeah. No fucking shit. No fucking shit. You're insufferable. He cuts me off instantly. good times good times we had that uber driver is very unhappy i wonder what like my average score is right now let me check mine is mine is super low i can tell you that i haven't i always vomited other people's uber

ride so i'm clean there 4.8 boom pretty good yeah mine is 4.6 4.6 because i can't fucking i kept doing this thing that i i i kept sitting in the front with the dudes and they would not say anything but rate me like one star because they thought it was annoying that was oh were you were you by i wouldn't say anything yeah oh yeah you're not supposed to do that i don't fucking know i i just do what i do now i'm just imagining you getting into an Uber, David, and then just making prolonged eye contact the entire ride. Not even. I would just sit next to them. If they don't say anything, I'm not going to fucking know.

No, I didn't even say anything. I would just sit there. I'd just sit there, say nothing, and then at the end, I'd just get out of the car and say, thanks, I love you. Hey, can this ride be free? I'm kind of a big deal. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Brendan, you talk... You would do that. I absolutely would.

You would fucking talk... No, Brendan, you would talk about your fucking YouTube channel in front of that guy. When I get nervous with strangers, I talk about my YouTube channel. I'm sorry, like, my brain turns off. i went to arizona two weeks ago right uh oh no you didn't do that again and i did do it again and it was awful let me explain so we were there for three days in arizona to meet my wife's family because she had never met she had met her dad when she was a kid but she had found out a couple years ago that he was her real dad so he's been like asking us to come out for a couple of years now and he finally was

like i will pay for the tickets like i will reimburse you for the hotel come out i want to meet you so we went out and uh shelby met her dad her her new dad her new aunt my new father-in-law and i became an uncle now and me becoming an, I met my two brand new nephews, basically, and niece. And they were running around screaming at my, I guess, my father-in-law's sister, so like my wife's aunt's place. I don't know how to describe this

because this is like a whole new world for both of us. They're very normal, by the way, incredibly normal. Fuck Arizona, though. Y'all are weak. I was wearing shorts in 70 degree weather and I saw people in giant coats anyway. So they were like they were like 12 and nine and they were running around. They were watching like Mr. Beast videos. One of them was jumping around screaming.

He put mayonnaise in his pants. He put mayonnaise in his pants. And with me on this entire trip, I brought those stickers of me, the ones that I gave out in Chicago, which I'll post a picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had been handing them out to strangers in arizona one dude was like hey man can you watch my pizza at a pizza place and i did for five minutes and then he came back and i said here you deserve a treat so i handed him one of the stickers and walked away we were we were at her aunt's place my wife's aunt's place and uh these kids were being rowdy and i said hey guys come over here you deserve a treat and i handed them both a sticker and they

said what is this? And I said, I didn't know what to say. I was like, oh, fuck. God damn it. I didn't think this would go farther than like, here's a treat. And then I would walk away. Well, no shit would go farther, Brendan. Oh, I'm a YouTuber.

And they both were like, you're a YouTuber. You're a YouTuber. You're a YouTuber. Do you know Mr. Beast? Yes. He said yes, right? I did tell them I'm close personal friends with Mr. Beast. And if they

were good he would come to their christmas i uh why would you say that you promised mr beast santa what you promised mr beast to these children i didn't tell my wife's sister that i accidentally said that and i did not mean it she was like thanks i dude the best part about that shit though is uh when your friends find out and they start asking you like all these questions the funniest one to me personally was like me pulling out my phone to show a friend of mine a video and i click on it and i get like a 20 second ad he's just like wait you don't have youtube premium i went fuck no i don't want to pay for it and then he said wait doesn't youtube have to give youtube premium to youtubers because they're like the backbone of the company don't you get it no

dude no but the actual not at all the actual best part is like oh dude are you friends with this guy and 90 of the time i go no he's a pedophile dude actually though that's so fucking true every i dude my i i meet people and then i i don't tell them what my job is and i they just start talking about like, if you're seeing this fucking and I'm like, Oh dude, he's a sex pest. Hey,

is that confirmed? Yeah. Okay. Well, between us it is. Okay. That's getting, okay.

It's fine. I'll censor it. Dude. I swear to God. Every time I fucking get into a new group of people, they always talk about YouTubers. And immediately I'm like, Oh dude dude that's a sex pest that's a pedophile oh wait that this just happened today dude loves farts i don't even they're i the guys i was watching chainsaw man with uh one of them asked me like dude i checked like the podcast channel recently are your friends

with noodle i went yeah oh dude tell him i love his vision i went yeah the coke habit oh julian doesn't need coke like have you really i keep telling him that stop he he doesn't but he just keeps going oh my god he's a fiend what where where is it where is this wrong it's the only way he's gonna beat pong If I was with all of you right now, IRL, Mandy excluded, I mean the two of you, I would be slapping your hands right now until they're wrong. You should be slapping Julian's nose. Oh my God, I couldn't. It'd fall apart. You know how much coke that guy's got? I'm sorry.

If you want to ask Julianian about his coke habit email don't do that do not do that no i'm censoring that's not for fucking people to use you fucking idiot that's not for normal people that's not for fucking listeners you dumbass you're such a fucking sorry oh by the way audience if um if you guys have been participating in the new like submit your audio stuff we're changing the format please submit it at i haven't even announced that yet on the podcast. To be fair, I forgot I did that. Did you do that in like a fugue state?

I started taking these new meds and they fucked me up for a few weeks. And I was just like in a fugue state, like just doing shit without thinking. And I just opened up viewer voicemail and i just got a shit ton of viewer voicemail if you guys want we can go through a few viewer voicemails real quick yeah when i went to the renaissance fair i saw furry and stockades again well no he didn't run up to me he was just in stockades like they had him locked up and people were throwing shit at him he's doing it for like a photo op i think that's a kink tomatoes that's a kink it might have been a kink dude well there was this um they had a bird show because they had like this uh where they called falconer i don't

know if they're still called a falconer if they handle all kinds of birds but he had like a eurasian owl he had like all these huge things flying around and then a dude blew the fattest fucking vape cloud that the owl flew through yes because they had like these poles around the audience that it would like perch on to but this one dude like fucking waited for it and ripped out this huge cloud the owl flew right through and it just started squawking for the rest of the show it was still flying around but it sounded confused the dude's like ah great it's one of the last shows of the year i haven't seen this before i'm just thinking i'm thinking about like i wish we we could all go on a group trip to one of those like

vape conventions. Oh, isn't that just like going to like a strip mall where people blow the vape in your face, but they have like cloud competitions.

When I went to a wrestling show, I don't know if I told, talked about the wrestling belt on the podcast yet, but I went to a live show like a WWE house show and there was an old guy that was trying to like

show kids the custom belt he got and he was trying to like take pictures with them. And I looked at the belt that he was trying to like show kids the custom belt he got and he was trying to like take pictures with them uh and i looked at the belt that he was trying to take pictures with kids with and it was like a vape cloud championship 2018 belt it was like it was like a custom made vape champion belt and he was going up to all these kids and trying to be like hey do you want a photo op hey do you want a photo op hey do you want to follow on, man. Why was he going up to people asking if they wanted pictures?

Right? Who the fuck does that? Also, somebody got into a real fight with like, I think it was... So like three seats, three rows ahead of us, there was somebody loudly arguing with somebody else.

And I think it was like kind of a baby mama, baby daddy situation going on because they were yelling about like, that's my kid. No, that's my kid. No, that's my kid. And these two heavyset women just started brawling and then they stopped security.

Never came over and stopped them. Join me. Okay. Join me, but don't look at what I'm going to click. Okay. David punchline, the song you just did with one of my farts.

I've been farting like all recording. Okay, fine. I'll fucking add one. So we've been, I, I, I asked people to send us

uh viewer voicemails so that we can answer them and uh hopefully help people out with their problems here's voicemail number one by ever everardo padilla here here's here it is. Chimpanzee. Chimpanzee. Wow. It seems like you have a chimpanzee problem. What I would say is you have a surplus of one chimpanzee. You need to bring that to a deficit of zero chimpanzee. I think you should take your chimpanzee and you should double it. And then double it again

like the tiktok video yeah yeah like hey will you take this one chimpanzee or do you want to pass it on and double it for the next person like let's say i have a chimpanzee and you have no chimpanzees and you say you want me to lend you my chimpanzee i tell you like okay so what am i gonna get back so what you do is you have to take my chimpanzee you got to double it and you take those two chimpanzees you double them again and that's the game all right got another one by alex j did you check any of these long time listener first time caller pst can you give me your favorite unethical life hat is that famous pedophile say alex jay said uh unethical life hacks god that's loud what's an unethical life hack what makes a life hack unethical killing it's like um if you if you go to the power plant and you take a cord from the power plant and you plug a cord into the power plant and snake the cord all the way back to your house for free energy.

But you're breaking the law because you're stealing power. Oh, yeah. This is another one by a man called Bebop. In my uncle's last will and testament, he left me an entire milk crate full of hand grenades that he illegally stole from the military. What do you think I should do with those? Eat them. Okay. How about we mix that guy with the illegal life hack guy?

Sell those on the black market. Yeah, this is going to be... You could make a bank. This is going to be like find a friend, actually. We're just going to connect these people together as fans of the podcast.

Let's actually do that. Let's actually do that. You take my grandpa, my dead grandpa's hand grenades and you double them. Well, I mean, the life hack one, you could... An easy life hack one is you take business cards or pamphlets from like people who

who you want nothing to do with and then if like you get in a car accident or like some little fender bender you leave that behind as like a as like the sorry here's my information but it's a hand grenade but it's a hand grenade oh dude reuse the hand grenades just make them like your business card recently dimitri had a run-in with um some people he's working at a uh he's working a place locally that has a very unusual clientele and he has what appears to be like final fantasy warriors who are like recruiting from there what i'll put in the general chat i i got one of these two they're called the galaxy federation of light and they call themselves the light workers and then the truth will set you free god kingdom is coming to mother earth

now the galaxy federation of light i'm looking at this bless you always love mother father god i am a light worker for extra context this message was put above a urinal the galaxy federation of light the only channel i can find is called the galactic federation that must be that's it that must it's the galaxy federation of light oh wait no there's a bunch of religious shit yeah no this will be it yeah this is the magic within this is the fucking place the gateway to sirius oh god yeah this yeah this is all star sharon wave to us and receive our embrace. Commando Ashtar. That's a Star Trek, guys.

Yeah, this is Star Trek. From when I worked at Best Buy and somebody left some pamphlets about Alien God Church, I'm still really sad that that channel and that website are gone and I don't have anything left over from the Alien God Church. This is their channel trailer. Maybe this is a sect of the Alien God Church. Why does it have fucking... Why is it written like this? Galactic Federation of La... Oh, this is a sect of the alien god church why does it have fucking why is it written like this galactic federation of law oh this is 13 minutes but it's also like impressive that it's like it's

a text-to-speech channel but they have warriors out there putting their business cards above urinals apparently okay let's do one last voicemail what else is there okay this one comes from 12th century Latin Bestiary. Hello, please leave a message after the tone. Yeah, I was just wondering, how come you guys only let white people on your podcast? I don't know about that one. He has a point.

Wait, isn't Julian... I know exactly who that was. one he has a point wait is there julian i know it was julian's like filipino or something right you know who that was yeah i know who that was that was dimitri no that was not dimitri that would be really strange if it was though no but like not all of us are white david is a producer how do you respond to this we're we going to move on. Hey, remember that one time you talked about stealing a Snorlax at a camp? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I have that in my desk drawer right here. What?

Yeah, I have the picture. You have a picture? I have the blackmail picture. Well, not the blackmail. I have the hostage picture. The hostage? What is this? You're just feeding us things without context now

okay one of the times we went to scout camp yeah this was not the time where jimmy went wild oh speak of going wild i did get an update at the renaissance fair about um oh who's i can't remember the fake name of the i used for the guy who we played dnd with uh? Clogdoor. I don't remember. Dustin? Duffy? Dusty? Dusty! Dusty! It's Dusty.

Now I remember, yeah. Dusty got arrested for trying to hit up children. So Dusty's a weirdo. Oh my god! Dude, he's going to get a redemption arc in The Wolfman. It's fine.

I can't believe not only Marlo Briggs is confirmed for Smash, but Dusty too. Oh, God. That was out of nowhere. But yeah, and I looked it up and there's a whole article on that arrest. And I'm like, that's...

Oh my God, Dusty. But at a scout camp... Toothpaste wasn't enough. No, apparently not. At one of the scout camps, there was this dude who was quite a bit older. He was probably 16 maybe 17 because if you get your eagle scout before you're 18 it's actually pretty fucking good like if you join the military with it you jump i think two pay grades still and you might get like a promotion which isn't crazy

if you're going in as like uh whatever it is at the bottom but he was trying to finish up his eagle scout but he was like he was a fucking adult on the level of being 12 he's basically an adult to us okay he was also about six foot eight holy shit that's close to boo yeah he was a big fucking dude but he had a weakness because he would like go like he'd like push people out of the way and shit like he would do whatever the fuck he wanted because there was like there were a few other older scouts there too but they just could not no one could fucking contend with the sheer power of this man and so we're like okay what do we do about the giant because we're like 12 and 13 and we're like and then we realized that he had a flaw and his flaw was that he didn't leave

his house often i guess at night like he didn't leave his house often, I guess, at night. Like he didn't go to sleepovers or something like that. But for whatever reason, his source of comfort was a large stuffed Snorlax. It was like a pretty big plush. And I guess the rumor was from his little brother that I guess growing up, his mom or dad would call him Snorlax or something like that. And they gave him the big Snorlax to sleep with so he had the snorlax and we realized that it was this weakness because some of the older guys had grabbed it we're tossing it back and forth and he was like stop give me my snorlax and they're like laughing uh they toss it back and forth he goes give me my snorlax

they're still tossing it and he takes a few steps over. And there's like, I don't know how old this tree was, but it was rooted into the ground a bit. He fucking grabs it. What? No way. No fucking way. He tears it out of the dirt. No fucking way. He fucking slings this tree in one of them. What the fuck?

And it barrels up over. Like a claymation Cyclops movie from the 1960s. Yes. Holy shit. You have to understand, when I say tree, I don't mean like a log. It was like. Oh, yeah. It's a little.

But he's still. You see roots and shit come out of the ground. And he fucking swings it at one of them. Bam. Hits him right in the legs. He goes over. Snorlax goes down. He snatches up the Snorlax.

And we see this. And we think this is the funniest shit ever. It is funny. So we're like, okay, what do we do? And we go, let's just wait. Because everyone's gonna go to like merit badge classes and we'll just we'll get the snorlax and everyone had disposable cameras and there was a photography merit badge and they had like a development center where you could like get your photos developed nearby for it which was like great so what we did is one of the other scouts i was like

okay you grab i'll take the picture it goes wait no i'll make it better let me i'll put i'll just post the picture because when the giant came back to camp he noticed snorlax was missing which was the first problem and he was like who has it and since one said oh did you like did you check your tent very carefully you know it might have fallen under the bed and on his bed this is a terrible it's a terrible angle this is what he found what the fuck is that oh that's a butterfly knife but what is that a tie of the american flag yeah Yeah, so our problem... What's a bat banner? We wanted to have, like, you know... We wanted to be like, oh, the Snorlax is blindfolded. The problem was we didn't, you know...

We didn't have a fucking blindfold because we're fucking children. What we did have was like, oh, we have, like, some folded up flags because, you know, we do our... I have a handkerchief, whatever it's called. Yeah, yeah. so let's just use that so that became that became it he found the snorlax okay so okay people at home so this image is just a snorlax with its eyes bandana and there's a hand it's like a ransom note there's yeah there's a hand extending from out of frame with a knife butterfly knife butterfly knife and it looks like it's going to stab this snorlax it's at its throat it looks like a it is at its throat it's like a hostage

thing but yeah you can actually see in the background that's his sleeping bag and that's the back of his tent if he was holding that photo at the time that is the background of the photo what the fuck so he picked it up he was literally seeing that sleeping bag right behind it in the tent so he knew someone had the snorlax and at first he was like going ape shit but he's like when i finally got who did it i'm gonna kill him i'm gonna get that snorlax and he was like going to different people's tents yeah he was like fucking enraged by it the problem was we thought this was really funny but then we got worried because he was getting like you know when you're a kid and someone's getting hated when they yeah when they start getting like this level of angry where it's like what's gonna happen it's just oonga boonga rage yeah anything

is possible okay it started reaching that and we're getting worried oh god and some fucking kids come back to camp from their merit badge classes he's going ape shit and he's like where's the snorlax where is it and um jimmy is among them and jimmy just looks at me goes snorlax i ate him he had nothing to do with any of this why would you say that i don't know what the fuck is wrong with him he probably thought it was a bitch and the giant looks over his flesh yeah the giant looks over goes what and he's like uh i ate him he is his powers are now mine for context this was before demon arc this is just him being weird okay

so he hears that and he's going ape shit he's like he started like yell at jimmy and jimmy's like more confused but like laughing so he doesn't understand how dire it is and then yeah and then another kid

hops out of his tent and goes did you see the note i'm like what fucking note as this was happening one of the other kids had grabbed this fucking like notebook paper and started scribbling down on it really fast and i guess shoved it under his pillow or something whatever happened they just came out and pretended they found it in a sleeping bag and it had demands on it. And so he starts reading it and it said something like, Oh, what did I call the Oblivion Kid? Was he Benny?

Right? Benny. Yes. Yeah, sure. Benny. He was like the youngest one. And the demand, the demand in the front. It just said, it was really badly smelled it just said you must worship

the god from oblivion with a really shitty oblivion logo drawn on it so he immediately thinks it's not jimmy but betty's behind it oh no you dumbass goes to his tent just starts fucking ripping through the side of it and it's burlap and he i had a hole in it he grabbed it like a fucking bed sheet and just holy shit the side open and then he's inside and he just starts fucking screaming as this giant man is crawling his way into it. I can only imagine the fucking Ace Ventura when he's coming out of the rhinoceros ass. Just fucking. Oh, stop.

Shut. Yeah, baby. The worm is coming inside. Yeah. But he's freaking out. Because all we hear him going is, it wasn't my god. It wasn't my god. He wouldn't make me do it we start hearing like loud hitting sounds and at first we're like oh shit he's being the shit out

of benny and then we look and that's not what's happening benny's halfway like out of his tent and his little feet are kicking on the wooden like panel on the bottom so oh my god the giant's trying to grab him and he's trying to crawl like a worm. It's like Jim Carrey coming out of the rhinoceros. Stop! Oh yeah, yeah. This kid, halfway out of a tent, screaming

while another kid is entering. From the right angle, it would look like big, giant legs dangling out of a tent, and a very small torso coming out of the front. It was very surreal and then after all the chaos to go lock lock lock and someone had put the snorlax on the picnic table in the center and he saw it and he grabbed it and he was almost crushing it in his hands out of possession and he yelled out incredibly loud if any of you fuckers take my Snorlax again. I'll kill you.

What the fuck? He has adult baby energy. He hears the gentlest adult voice. Giant, that was not Christ-like language. And Scoutmaster Flanders has arrived back to camp. And has just seen him fucking swearing, which was the biggest no-no you could do there his name was just giant i'm just calling him giant okay i can't think of a good replacement name off the top of my head but he was like we need to have a talking to they stole my snorlax what do you

you have your snorlax but your language is the problem. And so the giant got talked to, and it was diffused because somebody had just replaced it back. One conspiracy member had returned it, and I wish for the life of me I could remember where we had hidden it at first, but I don't recall. But if that Snorlax hadn't been returned, it could have been really fucking bad.

So my only memento of that is just the hostage picture of the Snorlax where someone tried to put down that looks like a shot from 7 dude looks like a Death Grips album it does

it does I'll take a better picture of it after this so it's more clear no I think that's perfect I think this is perfect that's a it shows the rawness of the situation i'm not sure why this got brought up all of a sudden but yeah that was it was a dangerous dangerous day i wish i had been fucking one of these days so if you i'll just put a whole thing together of scout shit i went through there was so much just so many footnotes a lot of shit going on yeah i didn't expect it

i just don't know yeah i still have the picture right there i'm surprised it was so close i was just mentioning it because people always ask about this story i didn't expect you to have it like on hand yeah i've been going through uh i've been cleaning stuff out so i've been like going through my closet and everything and i've been finding mementos and putting them in a little drawer next to me i have like oh my god there's so many now so i've been pulling out all sorts of little yeah i do i've been pouring where like i have this button from the fucking new vegas-esque fan film we made in like high school oh god yeah this one was um this is a fucking story but i'll just i'll just send you the image of it because i don't

even know where to start with this film there was a fucking truck destroyed from this what why is there always new fucking lore it's like an onion every time you unravel it there's always there's just more and more and more well what happened was someone had um they tried to have like a scene where a dummy would like hit the windshield of a truck and instead the dummy just went completely through someone's truck so that was an expensive day but yeah here's our um the film we made promotional buttons for it oh my god the ballad of what does this say the ballad of what it does it say? The ballad of what? It's just cut off on the button itself, too. Oh, God. This is a channel

awesome movie, dude. Is that Kurt Russell from fucking Escape from New York in the back? That's a kid. That was our Snake Plissken. Those are all fellow students. Oh, my God. There was Caesar's Legion, but instead of caesar's legion

they were um confederate soldiers and the heroes and instead of the ncr they were like vietnam soldiers the villain was based off of um was based off one of our friends who worked at a go-kart track he had a really mean boss named steve henry he'd always call him steve henry like that and so henry instead of caesar the the Confederacy was led by Steve Henry. Steve Henry was like a cartoonish villain, though. Like he would. I went with him once to the track and he was like laying in a hammock. He's like, you done with your shift?

Like, yeah, boss. You scam them kids out of all their money. What? You take the biggest drag off a cigar. Steve Henry was fucking something. What the fuck, dude? Steve Henry can only be improved if Steve Henry talked in third person.

Like, Steve Henry's about to show those kids how to really go on the track. Well, yeah, but he would, like, integrate Steve Henry into all of his stories. Like, he'd just tell bullshit and then be like, and then when my car was about out of gas, I looked in the windshield

and what do I see? An old Steve Henry on a motorcycle gaining up on me. Watering through the forest hunting a buck and doe. I look behind me. There he is in his full splendor. Steve Henry. Exactly. It would be exactly like that. I was in the woods at night

and I heard some cawn and crying in the trees and I was looking around real carefully and what do I see bent over the creek? That dastardly old Steve Henry taking a big drink out of the water dude that's fucking sick i'm in awe of the power of steve henry the only problem is i cannot find i cannot get a copy of this movie for the life of me i tried to um I tried to get it from the person who edited it years ago, and they didn't know where it was either. Because it was like a full hour and a half long deal. It was our own localized New Vegas Channel awesome movie

with all sorts of stunts that went horribly fucking wrong. There were several injuries. There were some neighbor kids who were shanghaied into the production. What? Yeah, like there was this one kid who the um director was supposed to take care of and i never knew his name because he just called him rat kid so rat kid yeah he goes rat kid i'll be honest with you i don't want to see your ugly little face in this movie so you need to put on the skull mask if i can't see it on my glasses then put them over the mask the stone mask like the teaser the teaser for the movie that he put on facebook was rat kid like in a dressed up like a shaman so like this this little like eight-year-old and like a hawaiian how are they called like the grass little dress they'd wear um is it just a grass like the grass skirts does anyone know

uh oh the the hula skirts yeah yeah hula skirt oh oh okay it's just this like pasty little kid wearing a hula skirt shirtless wearing like the skull mask with glasses over it and he's swinging the stick above him going in front of this big cauldron and it's like coming soon the greatest movie ever all action i wish i could find it but if i ever do that'll be a one hell of a fucking find sure i watch my own scenes it'd be horrified i know we're reaching the end but that if that reminded me of a school project i've been trying to find for years that's uh less interesting than yours but it was uh me and me and friends did an interview uh we did a history project where you had to interview a historical figure and our

historical figure was stalin and so we we no yeah so we recorded this video where like my friend interviewed stalin i played stalin no okay it was just me and like a game stop like not a game step it was like this is high school so circa 2010 give me a break here so it's me with my long greasy emo kid hair wearing a skull shirt and like a like i think it was like a commander's hat did you just look like the toy story kid yeah like i had really long greasy hair down to my shoulders i had like my walmart skull shirt i kind of looked like sid but with long hair yeah oh god and so he like interviews me and i got this idea was like dude it'd be really fucking epic if i did like a stalin rap at the end of it so i wrote and recorded and produced a rap you're oh you're lying that's not that's not real because at the very end of the video at the very end of this

video we recorded our friend david who uh different from this david my friend david from high school um he had uh he uh he had really tiny arms i've talked about him before because we also used to call him rexy like like ed's friend Rexy. Oh, wow. He had tiny arms with three fingers on both sides, and he called himself Rexy, not because of his arms, but because he was, and I quote directly from him, he called himself Rexy because he said

he was anorexic and sexy. And he got this idea where he's like, dude, dude, dude, watch this. That's fucking rad. He made a little, okay, this is the awful part. He made a little okay this is the awful part he made a little hitler mustache on one of his fingers and we recorded at the end of the video at the end of the video it zooms in on him and he puts his finger up on his mouth and it zooms in on him and he's got the hitler mustache on his finger and he goes oh and the video black screens and it says hitler will return stop dude and i can't find this video

for the life of me but it's so it's so intrinsically like edgy iowan teens edgy iowan teens jesus christ that just reminded me of that because i was like fuck i had like a flashback you said god duty rap somewhere from that same age but i never wrote the stalin rap drop us a few bars of uh the the call of duty rap here's i'll put up a beat go when i was in high school i really wanted to be a writer right and uh i i saved everything i wrote from that age i call them the books of brendaniel i have to oh god this is loud the the books of brendaniel include four writers notebooks from senior year of high school to uh uh last year of college and i have to go through these papers but i will find it give

me a moment actually this would what what year did you write this? This would have been 2011, maybe. Ooh, so it would have to be like really like hardcore hip hop, you know? I don't know. God, honestly, if I ever wanted to read from these scrolls, there's literally a thousand pages that I've written in here. That's all just insane shit. Sam text coming in.

Be ready for the boom. 84. What a whore. Give this fool some room. A new brings a new a new brings picks up an AK 47. There goes the clock counting to 11. Boom. Boom.

Boom. You're gonna go boom, boom, boom. Get ready to boom, boom, boom. All right now, boom, boom, boom. Last minute, got my nades in my hand. Boom shakalaka, it's my master plan. Hold down the button Run at the base Suicide kill, you're all over the place Not backing down

Until the war is won I'm 10th prestige and I'm number one He is Boom, I've got a 20 kill streak He do Boom, 4 more dead They're all dead Boom, just one more.

He killed my family. Get on the floor. And that's it. He got away with it. He got away with it. Let me take a picture of this fucking nightmare, actually, because I have to show you a picture of the...

I haven't talked about the Skrulls ever on the podcast because... I don't think so. There's a lot of the... I haven't talked about the scrolls ever on the podcast because... I don't think so. There's a lot of embarrassing stuff in here because there's a whole page where I wrote whore when I got cheated on in high school. Oh, God. Speaking of embarrassing, you guys ever hear about Patreon questions?

If you donate $50 million to the Patreon, you can ask a question. It's $5, but let's go this is so much character oh my god this is napoleon dynamite is that is that is that a taxidermied pikachu being hauled away by balloons oh i've got one of those too i'm gonna understand you have to understand there are a thousand pages that have this on it i'm gonna

take one of the schizophrenic pages because there's a lot of lore being uncovered about youtube right now why is it a mudkip with an ipad there's a mudkip mudkips with there's a random page from it all of the all of the all of the pages are like this oh my god oh my god it's like it's a house with legs that's a decapitated man this is actually fucking dynamite jeffrey epstein's corpse brendan i'll be real with you this looks very similar to jimmy's demon relaying novel dude if i didn't like get the right friends if i didn't get beat up as much as i did i'd definitely be a jimmy type why does this one have so much blood there's a lot of blood in these oh man oh here we go is that fucking morden solace from mass effect it might be it says space underneath it that's my one hint

hold up wait i zoomed in this corner's got me a bit worried death to maz na na who's maz what did he do you don't understand i was peak i was p if you thought you were an edgy teen i was peak edgy teen you were not as powerful as me god damn let me find the fuck page no no no dropping fucks and don't worry about the fuck page let a page of you dropping fucks into don't worry about the fuck page let's talk about the shit blade what is the shit blade shit it's a blade that just says

shit on it oh Mandy Mandy fuck you're gonna be so mad you said Jimmy right I found a page that's gonna make you upset it's written on Daedric oh my god oh god Brendan that's embarrassing make you upset it's written oh no oh my god oh god brendan that's embarrassing no to be fair i i tried to learn daedric too because i love the morrowinds oh my god it posted all the end oh the learn to draw manga style oh this is this is this is a relic fucking nicole likes me thousands of pages

wait this one just says god damn scooby-doo damn it that's my ex yeah i was really confused and i didn't talk to people so i wrote it all down oh i did that too mine has entries that are like oh what's what was her name just like oh girl likes me oh no what do i do why did you say god damn scooby-doo i thought you liked scooby-doo maybe he was like uh to be an excited goddamn god damn this is why people were worried whether or not I was going to turn out to be a serial killer.

These four notebooks. Oh my god, that's so many. Why did you take a picture of your socks? Oh, for you. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. Fucking brony one. Brendan... Oh, that's your full name.

Yeah. I think people already know, though. People already's your full name. Yeah. I think people already know, though. People already know my full name. They just misspell it all the time. Patreon questions. Patreon questions. How much do you have to pay? Five. Wow, we're so jaded.

I have to give Brendan levity for a second. I'm posting this because this is a really good one. Oh, we're so jaded. I have to give Brendan Levity for a second. I'm posting this because this is a really good one. Oh, we're not doing Patreon yet? No, now we can. That's not even true. That's not even true.

I've gotten over my... Oh, I thought that was mine. No, this is mine. Why is our handwriting so similar? Mandy's just says all entries before 8 it's 8 30 apparently i got the date wrong so to correct it with pen all entered for august 31st i mean 30th were destroyed i've gotten over my past oh past i didn't know what that said so that's at pw i should oh i gotta find my diary now

fuck no we're doing patreon questions no i mean fuck. I got to find my diary now. Fuck. No, we're doing Patreon questions. We're not doing. No, I mean, we. Next time I'll bring my diary. Okay. I was probably super edgy. Jesus Christ. Patreon questions.

I was probably super edgy. If you pay $5, talk. Yep. You fucking talk right now. Nicole asks, this is for Brendan. Why couldn't we make it work? Because you broke up with me over text and then I dated you again my senior year

and I broke up with you over Facebook. Get owned. Damn. Did you actually go out with her just to do that? I did. I was really spiteful. You're such a fucking, you're so spiteful what the fuck i had this whole plan worked out i was like oh she broke up with me over text i'm gonna fucking

i'm gonna fucking own her this is brendan this is so much that's a lot i had a lot of psychopathic behaviors that are now rectified we became friends after that we made up brendan it's okay one time this girl had bad breath and like horrible teeth so i broke up with her over msn and when she left me on red i i nudged her screen like i made her screen shake like hey did you see me breaking up with you you talked about that before yeah no i'm just making sure you're in rumble effect yeah i just break up rumble you're in good company philly felix jarto asks you got you get to film a two-hour documentary about anything in the world what is it about norbit the italian pancake that came from aliens i do like a true crime documentary like the recent dom or netflix

show but i base all of it on my findings of brendan's four notebooks no four notebooks and thousands of leaf late leaf loose paper that all have different short stories on them that i never finished oh oh that's the spin-off i make a make a spininoff series with the short stories. Brendan, we could recreate that. We could recreate those. We could recreate those. We could do the short stories, like have Sparky animated or bring them to life with production.

Okay, my diary has Star Wars episode 10 on it it I think yeah let me let me give you a taste of my literary competency with this short paragraph from a short story

wait what episode 10 Dawson was chained up the chair he was in had been bolted to the floor no matter how hard he pulled on the chair or the chains they wouldn't budge compendent had made sure of that competent compendent compendent i can't read my own writing uh the ship that he was on was an old

unsc this is halo fan fiction apparently i was about to say brendan this sounds like a marathon that he was on was an old UNSC military cruiser. The name given to it by the competent and his troops was the Bruiser. They were part of the insurrection, but really were more mercenaries than rebels.

They did what they had to do to survive, and that's it. Oh, I love this. That's a great prompt. We should actually, we should actually, we should do an episode where we just find

stories we wrote as kids and just actually act them out in audiobook format. I'm really sad. That would be incredible because I have episode 10 of Star Wars. I have a time travel story

that thankfully was not I'm going to stop 9-11, it was I'm going to stop Pearl Harbor that we wrote in like 6th grade or something I have a published short story about Ed's world oh my god

I'm really sad that I only ever wrote one piece of fanfiction and it's really tragic it was right after I finished part 5 of JoJo's I only ever wrote one piece of fan fiction, and it's really tragic. It was right after I finished part five of JoJo's, and I was really salty that there wasn't enough Fugo. So then I started writing a fan fiction about Fugo. This is recent. And then I found out that Purple Haze feedback exists,

so I got really bummed out and deleted it. I wrote an Evil Dan My Little Pony crossover. We're done. We're done with it. Whoa, crossover we're done we're done with we're done with whoa but there's images he can't just drop that why does it just say she fucked lave that's the person that my ex cheated on with me on oh i thought this was the No, that's the slut and whore page. Oh my god. What is their troll face on it? Oh, that's their page. We can't do this.

We need to end this. We need to go. Patreon questions. Patreon questions again. I thought that said Bismarck. It is Bismarck. I thought it was the I'm stuff memes. Like, oh, sorry guys, I'm late. I was doing stuff. I don't know why and i thought it was the i'm stuff memes like oh sorry guys i'm late i was doing i don't know why i put stay mad polox i guess i learned something about his

relationship with poland at the time foreign policy nine out of ten oh man napoleon gets real with nationalism this marks gets more real with real politicolitik. This is fucking rough. Jesus Christ, Mandy. I just realized this second page I posted literally says girls I'd consider dating and one of them just says hamburger.

I've actually just added an entry into my journal that says Brendan has the companion book to this. So if anyone digs this up, they'll just think it's part of a volume set. Now we gotta scan Mandy. Now we gotta scan them and sell them. Imagine the PST journal

collection. Everyone scans pages and stories from their little awful childhood journals oh i'm gonna have to do so many edits puts it in a compendium and people have to guess which page belongs to which person oh my god we should that's a fucking amazing game it's not we should actually no no we should actually all get our diaries write them out in in like uh a word or something. Yeah. No, in a word. And then we have to guess who wrote it. HL Longboy

asks, what's your favorite obscure YouTube channel? For me, it's Nana Chan. They're a horror YouTube channel. They do like the walkthrough of my house, but they also have Piero Pito Minecraft, which is a really fun Minecraft series where they do insane things in minecraft but

also they make horror stuff mine is uh king mufasa so it's that guy that uh you know he paid like youtube to run a bunch of ads for his channel and the thumbnail is just is king mufasa dead no he's gaming i'll put it in general so he like i really what the fuck dead dead yeah this ran as like a youtube ad for like a while and it's just is king mufasa dead no he's gaming and all he plays is Roblox. That's really fucking funny. And his intro music. Hey,

what's up YouTube? I hope you're wearing socks. Cause today we're playing Roblox. Oh my God. Um, this is really good. I don't, I'm going to be real.

I don't watch a lot of youtube there's a youtube channel called like retrospective classic movies that puts out 50s movies i like that that's cool yeah he does the intro in this one if you guys want to see it oh my god what is what is going on in this fucking that is awesome i love you king mufasa that's actually awesome i do love it's your boy mufasa let's play Roblox oh actually I like uh he used to be pretty popular on YouTube when it was like

years ago now he doesn't really make no no dude fucking ad dude no it's uh Storm Dane Productions he makes video game reviews they're good I like them here is one that interests me uh hater 115 asks who'd survive the longest in an infinite game stop

akin to the infinite ikea but filled with brendan me brendan i was about to say brendan just that's brendan we knew the answer stop brendan is able to tolerate brendan the most i think actually i i think that's actually the opposite because if I meet somebody that's like me, I hate them more, because I hate myself that much, so I'd survive the least longest, maybe. Oh my gosh. On the other hand, I've been through ego death, so I would be able to kill as many of them

as possible. In case food rations ran low. What? Aren't you in a GameStop? in GameStop? Like Infinite GameStop? Infinite GameStop, though, would still have food. And I have this knowledge from working there.

When I worked at GameStop, we once got a promotional box of Reese's Puffs filled with tiny boxes of Reese's Puffs for NBA. And we didn't hand them out to any customers because I took both boxes home and ate Reese's Puffs for two months. Can I go back? My favorite XerioUbscude channel is

FredFuckstone. My favorite is UFO and Mysterious Creatures. We're not doing that one anymore. We're moving on. So there's this guy, he has this toy and he just keeps putting it in the woods and saying it's like an alien and shit. But he does a video every week

and he uses the same toy a lot. It's my favorite. I don't know. Bropus asks, out of all the podcast members, who can make the best monkey impression? Brendan. Holy moly, we sure had fun, eh?

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