Please Stop Talking - The Walls (feat. Brendaniel & Punk Duck) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

I'm looking for gold, man... Check out our merch! ▶ https://pleasestopshopping.com/ Support the podcast on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: David ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic   Brendaniel ▶ https://twitter.com/BrendanielH Ed ▶ https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Ten ▶ https://twitter.com/Ten_Webbs Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Clear your schedule for you time with a handcrafted espresso beverage from Starbucks.

Savor the new small and mighty Cortado. Cozy up with the familiar flavors of pistachio. Or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. because I care a lot about you and I love you a lot. I would love you a lot more if you checked out of Patreon. Link in the description. You know, actually, speaking of not my proudest moments,

I had... The one time I went to a convention. Do you guys know Shinji's fucking voice actor? Yeah, he's a fucking S-tier twink. What? What? Are you going to air this gonna do we start already i'm not i'm just talking man okay weirdo i'm not being a weirdo he's hot as fuck the dub actor yeah the

dub actor s-tier twink i'm dead ass what the fuck are you talking about spike spike spencer no casey mongillo i'm talking about spike spencer i don't know what you're talking about i look up shinji dub voice actor and all i see is casey mongillo spike spencer shows up as like a seventh result i'm talking about him because this is the one i saw at a convention that is not an s to your twink that is not an s to your twink no no he was just like he was just like either way this might be the netflix here's the thing he's like a 50 year old man or something i don't remember i just remember i because it was like one of them like maybe my second fucking anime convention and i this we my friend and i were

like trying out different things going to like panels i fucking think panels suck and blow ass oh shit the the s tier twink is for the netflix oh gotcha i just went to the fucking i just went to his fucking panel because we were like bored as shit wondering what to do and it was like this voice acting panel where it was like how to be a voice actor by spike spencer and then he was just showing us how to do these different things he was like ah here's how you do a blood curdling scream and then it was like a huge audience of like maybe 150 people and then he was like it was like everybody going like oh whatever fucking doing blood curdling screams and then at one point he just randomly said like oh who here likes the simpsons and then everybody i think i know where this is going

everybody was like oh yeah yeah yeah i like the simpsons. And then he said, who here likes Apu? Oh. But he didn't say it the way I said it. He didn't say it the way I said it at all. And then everybody, I don't know, when it happened, it was like years ago. And I was just, everybody was like, yeah, we love Apu. Nobody really thought about how weird it was that this fucking cracker, this cracker was doing it.

And then he just, he just kind of like started being like, okay, so this is how you do it. You put your, it was like, you put your tongue to the top of your mouth and then you start talking like this. And then you, you put on a racist accent and then he was like okay everybody repeat after me and then he made us uh repeat his famous lines like uh i don't know i've never watched the simpons just have a good day have a good day oh thank you have a good day yeah that's what he says that's not how he says it that's not how he says it at all i'm not gonna i'm

you just ask spike spencer i could i could hear ed putting his tongue to the roof of his mouth when you were talking about it he was he chambered it i'm i'm foaming at the mouth he was that dish either way he made like the entire crowd, 150. Just a bunch of fucking white dudes with body pillows all going, thank you, have a nice day. And in my head, I'd never thought about how weird that was until like a few weeks, like last week, I was in bed looking at fucking wedding stuff and i i just i just turned to boone i was like i was racist in public with like a bunch of other white people white people when they hear there's going to be racism at the function bro would you i mean i don't know everybody was doing i i i would yeah i'd get it out of your system kind of like in the n word okay fine Okay, fine. I'll do it. You're going to get to a taxi. So, David, I have a question.

Yeah. If you were like the owner of a supermarket and I just like was like one of your valued customers and I was about to leave, I just went through like the ding dong, like little gate that opens automatically when I step on the mat. Like, what would you say as I'm leaving? Like, because you want me to come back. Oh, yeah. I'm a valued customer. What would you say? I'd say, because you want me to come back right oh yeah valued customer what would you say i'd say wait wait sir wait and then i would jump over the counter grab your ass and

just fucking make out so instead of racist you decided on come back babe weird sexual assault no because it's you you're you're no because you said you you you, Ed, and I would always make out with you, Ed. No, no, no. This is a scenario where we don't know each other at all. I'm just a recurring customer. I'd be so upset if I didn't know my friend, Ed. I would yell, please do the survey at the bottom of your receipt as you walked out. Let me know how I did.

Quickie mark, credit card. Whoa, quickie mark. Can somebody just say welcome to the podcast already? Can we please get the fuck out of the system? Can we get it out of the system? I don't want to be here, man. I already fucking talked about my Apu story and everything. I was trying to make it natural.

I didn't even say anything. I was just like, okay, this is how we usually do it well. I didn't know if you wanted to open with that. Of course I opened with racism. I literally asked, are we starting? Like I was confused. It's because the way we do it recently we just kind of talk until somebody has a story and then we keep going

from there somebody says something inflammatory not always sometimes it can be racist like not artificially though david ed wasn't even fucking talking to us he was fucking tweeting about hi-fi rush yeah it takes a bit for us to get started. You gotta let the engine rev a little bit, David. Oh, fine. Okay, fine. Let's do my story again. David, I had that tweet scheduled like five hours ago. You scheduled a tweet about

liking a video game? Oh, because I fucking 100%ed it at like 4am and I was like, I don't want to fucking post this now. This dude was like, I want as many people to know that I like a video game as possible. What'd you schedule at a weird time? Some people like to share enjoyment

with other people, David. I picked a random time that was later. So it didn't seem scheduled? I guess. I just fucking scrolled through the fucking times. I quit the podcast. I want to quit the podcast. I don't know what's going on, man.

I just woke up. Wait, are we recording? We've been recording. Yeah, we're recording. We clapped. I'm pretty sure we're recording. No, I don't think we clapped. I didn't know we started.

Is this making it in? I asked that like three times. It's going to be really heavy. Get in YouTuber mode, you fucking loser. I don't want to get in YouTuber mode, man. I'm fucking tired. Sorry. Sorry. It's my... Welcome to the podcast. Sorry. in YouTube remote, man. I'm fucking tired. Sorry. Sorry.

It's my podcast. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Shit. Shit. Sorry. Hey, Ed, can you sort and collect those jars?

Sorry. I was really hoping. Ed, I'm going to need you to collect and sort these jars by the end of the episode. All these mason jars literally fat to the brim with cum. Each of them with their own different Metal Gear Revengeance character inside of them. I'm going to need you to collect and sort these by end of the day. Oh, I hope the robot dog is one

of them. Slosh, slosh. I was going to say, hey, hey, old time listeners, remember this classic bit I used to do where like, oh my god, we don't have any instruments and I just did one of these. Oh, you know what I'm saying? You learned how to do it you know you know i'm saying learn how to do it no i used to do it into a plastic bottle that's why it didn't work now this is a real man's iron bottle iron bottle welcome to the podcast sucks that wasn't funny hey what have you guys been up

to there's no water in my house right now so I'm just waiting for the water to turn back on. Really exciting. That's it. I'm getting married on Friday. Turkey just had a second six magnitude earthquake, David. You think that's something you'd rather talk about? You want to talk about your wedding instead? People in Turkey are dying and are homeless. Hey, David, don't laugh.

It's real. It happened. I tried not to laugh, but I just it's just my dear friend Ed's delivery. When he delivers sad news, I just laugh. I was actually the one that told David that his father

and he laughed that makes it extra funny when it's unlike the second earthquake that hit turkey which is not real and i made it oh is it i don't know i'm not on twitter right now dude this episode fucking sucks we need to we need to pick it up man so somebody talk about something that isn't an earthquake we don't want to talk about the fucking earthquake i'm pretty sure we can't either uh we can't like yeah youtube will be like oh would you would you would you would you but whatever would you uh the rabbit from b-stars what yes no okay why not because one time i got a message from somebody where the rabbit from b-stars was big and round and it said big chungus girlfriend underneath of it and also i'm a human so is she they're all and i gotta tell you something i hate to break this to you ed i hate to tell this to

you but you know when you know when your mom when you were young said there's this little magic box and a whole world is inside of it and one day you'll visit it too there are some horrible things you've probably seen in that little magic box the people inside of it are not real i mean i'm real but the other people inside of that magic box right in front of magic box. The people inside of it are not real. I mean, I'm real, but the other people inside of that little magic box right in front of you. Isn't that the plot of Zathura? Well, no, that's a little magic box. I'm talking about the little magic rectangle in front of you. The people on

the screen sometimes aren't real. What is this magic box, Brendan? It's literally right in front of you. You're looking at it right now. You cannot go inside of the computer like in Cyberchase. I get you're old. We're little zoomers. We're little zoomers. looking at it right now you cannot go inside of the computer like in cyber chase i get your old we're we're little zoomers we're little zoomers we don't even i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna fucking fight you one-on-one meet me on top of the millennium tower if you want an ass kicking

oh dude i would watch that so hard i'd be fucking lutely i'd be in the helicopter recording the whole thing and throwing money down i will save money. I will DM the creator clash again because I did DM them. I DM them because Jello told me to. I DM them after the first one. I said, give me Markiplier and those cowards didn't respond. Fuck the creator clash. Let's do our own. The next, uh, I was going to say a specific convention, but I don't think we're allowed

to say specific conventions because that would be illegal. We can do our own, our own fucking boxing show called pummeling. but I don't think we're allowed to say specific conventions because that would be illegal. We can do our own fucking boxing show called Pummeling Strong. Truckers. We're going to go to gas stations. Oh, we're going to go to the nearest. Going to the nearest. Oh, we can go to Iowa's Iowa 80 or whatever it's called.

World's biggest truck stop. I-80. World's biggest truck stop. We can just go fucking beat up some trucks. Dude, nobody. I-80. World's biggest truck stop. That we drove by. We could just go fucking beat up some trucks. Dude, nobody. I kept asking. David, we were driving. Now, listen here, David. As a long-time listener of this podcast, I love the replays on Sirius Radio, but you'll

never be able to beat grass-fed, beef-bred truckers like me. God bless the USA. I wanted to stop by that fucking world's biggest truck stop, and everybody was such a fucking bitch about it. No, because we were driving for 10 hours. So fucking what? In a big van. And you were like, let's stop at the world's biggest truck stop and everybody was such a fucking bitch about it. No, because we were driving from, we were driving for 10 hours. So fucking what? In a big van and you were like, let's stop at the world's biggest truck stop. It's like, we don't want to stop there. We will stop when somebody has to stop. I wanted to stop. I said I had to stop. I had to, I had to look at the fucking truck stop museum. You had to piss so much on that truck stop museum. That's called a parking lot.

You guys are so lame on road trips instead of stopping at every fucking big world's biggest chair and world's biggest balls world's biggest chungus david i've literally been on a road trip with you in colorado in colorado twice and and we had a great time so you're not talking about me like yeah i know i know because we stopped at everything we could charlie you and i we stopped anytime we could to go see weird shit you the other guys though well you're you were also not there because we were road tripping to your wedding i wanted to stop at every big thing that's what you do in road trips you stop at places and look and gawk at fucking weird shit

but you guys were like no we don't want to stop by the world's biggest we had so far it's not about the destination 10 it's about the journey i'm just i'm just saying i'm coming up with my wife to stay for your wedding for like seven days y'all came down for one day for mine so i like i don't know well i don't know well well well i don't know david our trip to your wedding was poorly planned it was so poorly planned dude i regret you're not taking more days holy shit we were like let's drive 10 hours and then stay one day and then drive 10 hours back and everybody gets on a plane i just want to mention did nothing none of this was my fault because I didn't go we did nothing literally we did nothing

and I was literally waiting at the altar for you to come in and say when the priest says I object yeah exactly I was waiting for the I object

and you didn't show up and now I'm married to my wife who I love very much yeah coming in like Shrek kicking your wife down the altar and fucking grabbing Brendan by the hand and telling him

Brendan I was the one that sent you the big chungus DM. Thank you. Bless this mess. I want to talk real quick about what Ed did. Oh, man. What? Recently. So I had to do an RSVP for my wedding.

Oh, yeah. Because the thing is, I had to, because we have like around 70 guests going coming and a lot most of them are from the united states we needed to make sure that everybody knew like a year in advance for the wedding and i i was like we're looking at venues we're looking at caterers so we needed to know like if there's anybody who needs like i don't know dietary restrictions dietary restrictions all that hey if you need a dj my whore of an ex that cheated on me is one now and it'd be pretty

funny if she could like get hired to that but you didn't know i was coming dude that would be awesome yeah she really liked me for some reason you've never met her what oh maybe you have many exes you fucking weirdo either way i'm talking about the whore who cheated on me when i gave ed the rsvp which is just it's a serious rsvp that my mom has access to so she can also help with budgeting of the wedding and and do you have any dietary restrictions ed just fucking wrote no fat chicks did you talk about have you yet talked about how you set up the the wedding invite like no not yet give me a sec though oh my god my mom doesn't speak a lot of like english like she she is a very, she's French. And when she read that, she was like, what the fuck?

And I, yeah, basically like, and I was like, oh, like the chicken breasts only, not chicken thighs, because there's a lot of fat on there Worst excuse possible because I didn't know what the fuck Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, of course, you should have hit him like oh my pot some roller you the polypharm You've got a gross pittas yeah man my friend he doesn't want the big balls you can't say that he just did that's awful that's so awful

it's fine nobody's gonna get it either way when I was setting up the wedding invites you were drunk when you did this one I was really drunk I don't remember why I was drinking oh it's cause it was the night it was like this one i was really drunk i don't remember why i was drinking oh it's because it was the night it was like the night that i got the fucking i went to do my um uh my scan for my liver disease oh i was drunk yeah they were like oh we you don't have

you don't have liver disease anymore and i was like epic i'm gonna drink i'm gonna have a beer tonight and then it ended up being more than one beer. And I was just setting up the thing. And I had this realization that my friend group, I have like three distinct friend groups. I have IRL friends from like way back. I have my YouTuber and influencer friends. I'm sorry for saying influencer. That was really dirty. It's okay.

You can say beautiful. Okay, fine. I say influencer when I'm sick because I have the influenza. Hey, yo. Yeah, baby. And then I have my furry friends. And I just decided what would be really fucking hilarious is if I made a fucking in the questionnaire

right under dietary restrictions, if I just wrote, do you want to go to the influencer table or the furry table? And it made everybody so fucking confused. And I also sent it to my family because I am a fucking idiot. And all of them were like, what does this mean? It's called a furry. It's called a furry, bro.

I made it. It just made everybody super confused. I kept getting messages like, where is Ed going to sit? I want to sit with Ed. Is he in the furry table or the influencer table? I was like, bro, you sit where you want. That was a joke. I had to remove it from the questionnaire because everybody got confused.

Because it was a question. The only people who knew were the people sitting around drinking. It was like me, you, and three or four other people. My girlfriend got stunlocked. She was asking me, like ed which one are you in and i got kind of mad she asked you if you were in the on the furry table yeah i feel like it would have been obvious who's in the influencer table i'm just glad i made mandy fucking check the influencer i don't know why but that made me fucking laugh i i will also mention regarding the wedding that uh david has already uh ruined his own wedding because he has banned chas from

the premises i just want to put that out there i wanted to invite chas uh my girlfriend wanted to invite chas we wanted our own little chas moment it's so expensive at the event but i guess uh bro we can't have fun we can't have nice things anymore you don't know how expensive a wedding is i'm sorry whatever dude no but my favorite part of that was like because the confusion came from david invited both me and my girlfriend separately well i didn't i didn't know it was gonna be separate i was just like because in my head i was like i was just telling both of you in messages. Cause you were both together while it happened. I can't remember you were at like a bar. Yeah. So I was just like, I'll message both of them so they can both see it.

Cause we need to rent this venue as soon as possible. Cause it's like renting a venue for a wedding is a fucking nightmare. You have to visit a bunch of them. You have to make sure you get the right one that has like every option available for what you need for it and it's like it's a fucking nightmare and also it has to have like the exact number of guests you think you're going to get no either i know but like the confusion came from we both got an invite link and you added to the guest list so it's like oh i guess we can bring plus ones. Like I was considering bringing Trelli, but I guess you hate him too. And then Kat was like,

Oh, I guess I'll bring Chaz. And then she invited Chaz. And then David later told us, Oh, sorry. I thought you guys were going to be each other's plus ones. This shit's going to be very expensive.

Do you mind telling Chaz that he can't go? No, no, no. The story ends in a funny way, David. Okay. So,

and then we were both like, Oh yeah, no, that's not a problem at all. Like he can't go. No, no, no. The story ends in a funny way, David. Okay. So, and then we were both like, oh, yeah, no, that's not a problem at all. Like, we don't care. And I mainly don't care because it's going to be Kat that has to tell Chaz that he's actually uninvited. So Kat goes to tell Chaz,

hey, Chaz, sorry, there's a miscommunication. You actually can't come to David and Boo's wedding. To which Chaz replied, wait, what is that? What? So,

he does not give a fuck. Man. I felt bad too. I was like, what the fuck? Like, I don't want to be that. I don't think he remembers me. I'm going to be honest. Not only does he not remember you remember me he better still have that picture of me he doesn't remember what that was even though that

was like the next day he's that i know that that's what i'm thinking i was like dude that was like literally next day i had to tell you this and then when cat explained he was like oh okay that's fine i don't give a shit what the fuck and it just makes the fact that David was like, Ed, I'm so sorry. You have to tell Chaz that he can't come. I'm so sorry. I felt bad because then I was like, dude, you get invited to a wedding and then somebody just tells you like, actually, you can't come.

It's like, oh, that's weird. He didn't explain it well. He got it. So just the fact that his response was, wait, what is that? Am I going to that? I just realized that David and Boo's wedding is going to be only the second

gay wedding that I've been to. And the other one, I wasn't a guest. I was actually working it, and it ended early because somebody got assaulted. In my opinion, all marriage is gay marriage. Assaulted? Like violence? Like violence, yeah not not the grooms

not the groom well you it was like two other guys that were there because like I have to work weddings at my job like I drive people from the parking lot up to the wedding venue and everything was going great like it was a it was a good night we had that going on we had like another public event going on so I ended up just like having to ferry people down to the parking lot in a little golf cart um and i came back up from bringing like a couple down to their car and there was probably like three or four police cars out in front of it oh my god um and i i like just got back so i stopped the golf cart like kind of back and i saw my supervisor who was also a gay man just like standing hands on his hips just like looking and i walk over to him like what's going on over there he's like oh uh i don't know some guy's

gotten a spat and he grabbed a glass bottle and just broke it over the dude's head and just ran oh my god and they never caught him breaking it on top of dude actual glass bottles are so fucking thick dude that must have been a really hard fucking knot like he must have really gone for it i don't know i i don't think they ever caught the guy and i don't care because all of the police officers told our special events crew that shut it down get everybody out of here so i got to go home early and that guy's wedding got ruined yeah that fucking sucks if anybody does that at my wedding i'm going to fucking kill you ed it's fine they they kind of deserve it because they

were having a jurassic park themed wedding at a zoo oh my god david i know you said what you know all that but whatever but what if like you know i brought chaz anyway he would have to stay at the hotel what do you want what do you where do you think i'm what do you think i was gonna say i thought you could say like oh okay let's have a fundraising stream you know you know like get him to the greek but it's chaz and it's getting if there's any fucking fundraising stream i need to do it's for the actual fucking wedding no but i need to pay for fucking venue chas is a fucking stretch goal i need to pay for fucking everything i already had to pay for the rings the rings were

fucking expensive and the dude the actual fucking i don't know how it is in the u.s but signing a fucking those fucking papers and everything for the wedding is fucking expensive. Notary fees are fucking crazy. Oh, it's like notary fee? I don't, just go to the courthouse? I'm just saying, Brendan would have let me bring Chaz. I would have let Ed bring Chaz, absolutely. Why didn't I go to that one? You didn't, I, didn't you not pay?

What? Wasn't it your parents that paid for your wedding? For mine? Yeah. I mean, my wedding was super cheap. And also like the, the fees to like sign papers at the courthouse is like 50 bucks what the fuck it's like 50 bucks we went to the courthouse we got like papers signed my mom had to be there because you needed a witness uh and i i know why

i know why mine is a witness yeah i i i just realized why it's because it's we also had to do bonus bonus immigration fees uh david i have a question uh because i've recently found out that i'm a drug addict uh if i go to your if i go to your wedding uh is it okay if i'm on acid the whole time i want to be on acid when i'm sitting at the furry table i want to see what will happen and i'm gonna bring a candy bowl full of hard candies and they're all gonna be full of fentanyl i'm so sorry to tell you ed but they're just going to be normal people dressed normally no i know but on acid they'll be like you know i'm gonna happen on acid everything's gonna look like seasons three of the simpsons you're gonna look into their soul and you think you're gonna see fucking like their fursona dude no but like i i uh i i popped acid yesterday that was fun oh i

thought you were talking about uh the other day when you told me that you had nyquil for the first time and you know no no i'm definitely i'm definitely an addict to nyquil now too nyquil is fucking crazy i never had that shit in my life i thought it was a bit like you know benadryl or whatever but like nike will my ass was sick like two weeks ago after the tekken tournament by the way i'm gonna fucking kill leon do you guys see that leon posted a picture with harada and it's me yeah harada followed him for that oh dude that sucks to be you man i'm i'm so tilted i'm so mad. So mad. So unbelievably mad.

I have a theory that Harada's the one that got me sick. Because we fucking... We spoke to no one. Did she fucking kiss him while he was coughing in her mouth? I mean, most people at that tournament had stink lines. Like, visible stink lines. So I'm like, I don't want to meet any of these grown men. So the only person I took a picture with was Harada. And at one point, he spat poison in my mouth like armor king he went like or like some yoshimitsu

shit tech and humor gotta be racist no but yeah nyquil kicks ass i was taken like two a day every night to fucking help me go to sleep dude nyquil dreams are crazy it's like it's like some hat man like tear shit you don't even realize you've woken up. But dude, seriously though, Acid, it's going to be like fucking MDMA. I need to get this shit. Because now I'm looking at drug addicts now in the street begging for crack,

and I'm like Frank Reynolds at the end of season 13. I'm like, I get it now. PST podcast does not condone abusing substances. No, I mean, I'm not abusing them yet. Well, it's not abuse if you're having a good time. Wait, that's not... Disclaimer. If you're having fun. Disclaimer.

Disclaimer. If you're having a good time, it's fine. It's not a crime to have a good time. And by the way, good time is really vague. Let people enjoy things. David, good job making a pro-drug slogan. Let people enjoy things! For fuck's sake!

Let people enjoy things! Me watching a crackhead outside my building stab a woman in the face and telling the cops to calm down. Let him enjoy things. God forbid men do anything. But yeah, I went over to a friend's place who is an acid head. I guess you could call them if I guess the term.

I mean, the term drug addict has a really bad juju, you know, so I'm going to go with acid head instead. But I went with two friends that have never done it. And like most we've we've like gotten high on, you know, marijuana or like, you know, drank. Yeah. So, and like the only psychedelic I've ever taken was shrooms. And I was like fucking ages ago. Cause I've only done, I'm over the mind that like, I'm down to try something that isn't going to put me in a trailer park once. I don't want to do it multiple times.

I'll try it once to see like what the big deal is. So we did acid, put it in your mouth. Did you guys ever do it no it's like it's like a little square piece of paper you just put in your mouth and you let it melt in your tongue and then when i did was uh you just said no fucking i haven't done it i've seen people do it no i i did another i i said i i was going to say i did another fucking uh what's the word psychedelic psychedelic i was like a hypnotic i'm not well putting david blaine in your mouth no yeah i i did it what was it holy shit like david squared it was shrooms and then i had the biggest tummy ache oh yeah that

bitch that bitch gave did you eat no i don't think so i don't remember it was like you do shrooms on an empty stomach you got it was in college i went to we went to a fucking show in a park and i was not having it i was not liking the experience no don't go to a show with all this stuff like especially if you're doing it for the first time going on man you gotta take on, man. You gotta take it easy. All we did was we took them at noon, and we just stayed in this dude's attic till 11 p.m.

It was fucking awesome. Because he had a record player, and the guy's an audio engineer. Oh, he's just like you, David. Too bad you're getting married. Can't fuck this guy. What? What the fuck?

What the fuck, man? what the fuck was that about what the fuck was that about i didn't even do anything i'm just standing here exactly i was literally standing here listening what the fuck is wrong with you you're such a dick i thought the nike will it's changed him changed him I thought all audio engineers They're like Trying to have sex with each other They have like a yearly orgy Like fucking politicians The acoustics in that room's gotta be insane Dude, what the fuck

I don't know man, what do audio engineers do when they have sex Damn, nice Uh Boom mic Boom mic Tell your fucking story, dickhead what the fuck what we're waiting on you to fucking keep going i was being casually homophobic you guys didn't have to like it wasn't that deep bro um it was in the deep shut up tell

your fucking we were in the attic and we were just listening to music and um so i wrote down a couple things and there is some photo evidence of like because uh i was documenting my experience like my stream of consciousness with charlie you guys remember him yeah i remember talking to the audience oh yeah we we talked about charlie like earlier when we were talking about whatever i i don't care. The main thing that happened after the first two, three hours was you start laughing a lot and

talking a shitload. Because we had a record player, obviously, occasionally, you have to change the music. Our friend, who was also on Acid, I managed to time it. Once we had reached the peak, it took him like 10 minutes to change the record. Because he was just looking through and just like leaning his head down to go through the records was fucking killing him.

Because at one point he genuinely did think the floor was lava. So he was scared of getting close to the floor to look at the record. See, that's the problem. That's the problem with getting high on stuff like that is just if one, I don't know if that ruined your, that would ruin my vibe. I would be like, oh, good. I had an amazing time.

The thing is, if somebody has a bad trip or is not bad trip, but just not feeling good out of of nowhere i'm like oh dude there it goes and at one point he managed to pick out an album and he's like oh dude no way you got the doors is this the doors i love the doors is this the door feedback oh that's so good okay okay this is good and then he put it on his lap and then he kept looking and i was recording the whole thing and i was dying laughing i was like bro what are you doing and he went i'm looking for gold man look at your lap bro you have a record right there and he's like no no this is

an option we're doing options now oh dude that reminds me of being high it took him 10 entire minutes and then uh i started documenting so here's one of the he did end up putting the doors on because we all started yelling at him like dude you're never gonna find a fucking album just put this in so you didn't even let him get options to be fair you didn't at one point i uh i tried to tell them, like, dude, right now, I really feel like watching Dune, like, the new one. But then I looked up, like, Dune the Emperor, and I was asking my friends, like, how does this guy work biologically? Like, you know, not the Emperor dude, but, like, the floating fat guy. But I found, but when I looked him up, I got, like, the original Dune. And then I want you guys to see this like stream of consciousness

i sent to charlie which is a picture of the fat guy from dune with what's his who wants to play charlie i mean there's no charlie in this i was just gonna read it oh it's a picture of the fat guy from dune and then i say what's his fucking problem and then five minutes later i said shinzo abe really died huh i don't remember doing any of this bro um and then just so you guys have have an awareness of how well the trip went later down that day an hour later i sent charlie this which is just a message that says the wall will eat me the wall will eat me so here's a little list of the funny things that were happening uh the first thing that started happening was uh that friend of mine who was um struggling to change the records he started not being able to recognize faces anymore he didn't know who we were that would freak me the

fuck out if everybody looked like a slenderman i would freak the fuck out that he would have to get up and get in your face to recognize who you were but because i was in the other side of the room like he could hear my voice and recognize me but he would just look at me and start laughing and go ed you look like a random guy right now i have no idea what's happening with your fucking face and that was fucking killing me and for most of that night i was lying on on the couch that was in the attic and at one point uh my friend was like you know talking about like his gaming chair because he has a secret labs thing and i was like oh i've never tried the secret labs chairs they always look really comfortable i've heard

they're pretty i heard they're pretty good for gamer gamer chairs so i sat on it and i was like oh i've never tried the secret labs chairs they always look really comfortable i've heard they're pretty i heard they're pretty good for gamer gamer chairs so i sat on it and he was like oh dude you gotta fuck with like the back thing like the with the lever and make it like all make it go like all the way down and i was like oh like you know like every time it moved down i would kind of freak out a bit because i was tweaking but then like i kept going down and down and down and then to the point where like it was completely flat and my legs were like touching the floor and then i was telling them like this is giving me horrible circumcision flashbacks i really am not comfortable right now what the fuck because it felt like a fucking operating table so like i was just lying down trying to look at the ceiling but then like because of what acid does to your eyeballs

everything's like wavy so the waves in my peripheral vision felt like people harvesting my cock so i kept fucking looking around like somebody was behind me shrooms was like instead of wavy it was like everything was onion peeling onion skinning i don't know what the word is but every i don't know do you get what do anybody does anybody understand what i mean by onion skinning? It's so weird. Kind of like the feel of things when you touch it? No, like in animation. No, like in animation, onion skin is like the last layer is on top of the new layer.

Yeah, so you would see like a trail. Oh, yeah. It's like a weird trail. It's fucking weird. But specifically, it looks like onion It's like a weird trail. It's fucking weird. But it's like, specifically, it looks like onion skinning in animation software. Very goofy.

Very, very goofy. I absolutely get what you mean. For me, that happened to me on Shrooms, but for me, with acid shit was just wavy all the time. But then during the peak, I started just straight up seeing shit so at one point we were listening to it's a feel-good ink because he had demon days on vinyl

and i thought that um the rapping parts were coming from the walls and like oh and that's when the walls yeah and the walls were like fucking just talking to me and whispering shit at me and at one point i was like okay i got to stop looking at the wall and then i started instead like i lied flat on the couch i was just staring at the ceiling and then like at that point i got a little bit bored so i told my friends like okay we got to start seeing demons like we this is getting like too chilled out what's the like the craziest shit you have that will make us like freak out you're a psychopath and then he looked through his record he went through his records and he was like uh i got the literally went oh we're i'm having way too much of a good having i want to feel unwell no i straight up said we

have to start seeing demons and then uh my friend was like uh i mean i got the doom 2016 soundtrack we can listen to that if you want. And then he put it on, set every ambient light in his room to red. And then that was what I said. The wall will eat me because at that point, the shapes like his ceiling was like wood planks. And you know, like how wood has like the same or like the lines they go down but then like at one point there's like circles in wood yes they looked like eyeballs to me it felt like the ceiling had tons of eyes and i was fucking freaking out and at one point at one point i swear to god why was that the lines formed like a demon

woman who kept beckoning me with her index finger to join her in the wall in the ceiling and there was like a a crevice in the ceiling that kept expanding and expanding and she kept going like come here come here what the fuck what's your problem man why you literally went i want to feel unwell fucking i want to trigger some crazy anxiety right now i'm having too much fun and then my friend who couldn't recognize my face he started like um he also went like on the on the flat secret labs chair and he like lied down and he was like oh this is really nice i don't know what you mean by like you felt like you were at an operating table and then i went oh that's because you have your legs on like a leg rest put your feet like plant them on the floor and then

and then the moment his feet touched the floor he went oh yeah this is horrible on the rest and then at some point he he was just like just complete it looked like he was like catatonic he was just staring at the ceiling along with me and then sometimes i would just like look over to him and then i don't know how he did it but every time he could tell i was looking at him and then he just went i'd fucking stop doing that stop right now without even looking at me the moment i would look at him he'd go stop stop doing that right now one one fun side effect of acid is um uh your piss feels like uh longer than it should be because you lose you lose complete track of time so like a lot of stuff at one point i was like man i really really need to piss and then i had

to deal with stairs thankfully like stairs weren't an issue for everybody um but like i was just i i took my little wiener out went to the toilet started peeing and then as i'm peeing i'm like looking at myself in the mirror and the mirror is like fucking it's like a wavy carnival mirror like in my head and then i look back at my cock and the toilet is foaming and i'm just like how long have i been pissing i had no fucking clue how long i had been there and like neither do any of my friends because they were also lost track of time and then when i opened the door my friend was like holy fuck dude i forgot you were here stairs when you're high are fucking rough dude they are they are i had the wobbly leg i just can't believe that your toilet turned into charybdis from legend and myth i don't know what that is okay you say you love god of war and you don't know what charybdis is okay grow up maybe up, baby. Wasn't Charybdis in Mandy?

Is that his daughter? What? What? Why'd you say Mandy? What are you saying? I don't know. Why did you say Mandy? You said Mandy.

I thought I said Ed. I'm having a moment. What? You said Mandy. No, Brenda just said Mandy and I was like, what are you talking about? I confused the two. I got conferred. My brain stopped working there.

They're not the same. One's racist, remember? I accidentally clickediktok while we're recording and i was listening to ed's story about substance abuse and the first video popped up on my tiktok was somebody grilling a cat he he used it for a little bit and so like i was i was i was sitting here if there was any fucking you did abuse it at first it was all fun and then you decided i'm not gonna have fun and that's when it became your auto substance and if there's abuse even to the person it's still substance abuse no but like here's the thing it was it was genuinely too much of a good time i was like dude we got to make ourselves see demons otherwise this is gonna be

boring you're so fucking dumb yeah the mean, the Doom music definitely helped. And then at one point, we also, like, once the... I feel like it's the opposite of helpful. Once the... To change the mood, because then we got really hungry and we ordered a shitload of fried chicken. So to change the mood, we were like,

all right, now that the Doom record is over, let's listen to some funny shit. And then we found, like, this guy that does mashups of like you know the auction guys yeah and like whatever like the scooby-doo-bee scooby-doo-bee going someone's going to do like 78 whatever that's what you think they say yeah that's what they sound like but like they he found a guy that does mashups of auction uh dealer guys auctioneers but with a but with a trap beat in the back and dude that shit went hard dude if i want to have a laugh i just listen to little dicky and i can't stop laughing hey do you fuck with the war dicky's so fucking funny has corbin ever told you his uh

little dicky rule what's his little dicky rule if he's if he's if he's uh under the influence of any kind of substance his friends aren't allowed to play little dicky rule if he's if he's if he's uh under the influence of any kind of substance his friends aren't allowed to play little dicky around him why because he starts thinking all of it he thinks he will he will think that he is little dicky oh is that because of that woman that said he looked like little dicky i don't know she said he she he looks like jack harlow that's the one he does kind of look a little bit said he looked like little dicky i don't know she said he she he looks like jack harlow that's the one he does kind of look a little bit like he do he does kind of look like you know who he looks like looks like uh young gravy he does look like young gravy he looks

exactly like fucking young gravy even he even has sex with uh milfs like young gravy i'm pretty sure um the um the last thing that of road that happened that happened after my little, like, we called it a vision quest. You're so fucking white. I'm sorry. That's such, you're so white. We love Blue Mountain State. It's a funny show. We went downstairs after we got our chicken.

We were like, all right, let's put fucking whatever on the TV. I'm not really going to watch it. I'm really focused on this chicken right now. Dude, food on acid tastes amazing. Genuinely. If you're having like a food day or like it's a day where you eat food. Like just. You should not do drugs, but if you would, it would feel good.

Yeah. But we were eating our chicken and what we put on on the tv since we don't have adult swim in um in europe is adult swim uploads like archives of their tv broadcasts onto youtube so we found like a one hour and a half playlist from like a couple years ago and it was playing like episodes of rick and morty back when it wasn't shit so it was playing the episode where like um i don't know if you guys are rick and morty heads but in case the audience is it's the episode where like the house is infested with parasites that inject false memories onto you and make you think like your family has like a billion relatives yeah i know what you're gonna say um So we were watching that one inside this one hour and a half broadcast.

And then. Oh, no. Did you start fucking? Dude. No, I know what he's going to say. Dude, out of fucking nowhere throughout this entire normal episode. There's this bit at the 14 minute mark where Morty just fucking starts glitching out and becomes like a fucking ghoul. And it's like a creepy pasta and his mouth extends and shit.

And we all just dropped our chicken and went, what the fuck just happened? Cause then the show keeps going. Like nothing happened. Yeah. Cause you, you, you,

and Ed was watching the fucking April fool's broadcast from like a year or two ago. The blibby one. Yup. They uploaded the entire thing. Do you remember when blibby? It was, I don't know. No, we don't have a, it was a thing that adult swim is blibby it was i don't know no we don't

have a dance it was a thing that adult swim did uh it was like this fake show that they made up and for april fools it was like oh the character is going through all these shows so and it wasn't just that one it was every show they did that i know because we kept watching it and we kept fucking tweaking 10 we thought we were still fucking i and i'm so happy that you all did acid and then accidentally watched the adult swim uh april that's fucking wild i would i would panic dude my friend the guy that i feel like it was hitting him the hardest uh because like he was the guy that straight up couldn't recognize my face he started twitching like he started spasming like no occasionally that's not funny that's horrifying what the fuck here's the time stamp i put it in general here's

a time stamp of like what i'm talking about by the way yeah that happens it was every show that night but up until you literally clicked on the one that said adults oh because we didn't dude we couldn't read are you kidding me it was all waves to us you know that that was their april fool's broadcast that was their april fool's broadcast every single show that they had every single episode had like a weird little edit that was like a creepypasta but they don't bring it up and it only happens once per episode they don't bring it up because it just it's just for the first 14 minutes nothing was different so imagine four dudes just

chilling eating chicken they're barely watching the episode they're tweaking on acid and they see that shit we freaked oh i just saw the one i just saw the one in fucking uh Smiling Friends episode. What the fuck? That's awesome. I would not feel good. Yeah, no, we didn't. And then we kept thinking that we were just seeing shit. Fucking hell. Yeah, then we stopped eating chicken. We turned that shit off and then we went home. You didn't even finish your

fucking chicken? No, we stopped eating chicken because it was out. There was in the bowl of chicken there was two giant fucking like comically large drumsticks like we're talking like in a cartoon viking shit and we at one point we just went what are we going to do about these because we were four and there was two drumsticks so there was like a nice five minute segment where we all just collectively looked down in a bucket of chicken without saying a word and it felt like a fucking cartoon like if you put a camera in the bucket of chicken and just looked up it'd be like a seat in madagascar it would be just a bunch of fucking white dudes staring down at you and then at one point my

friend just goes i think we should eat that and that's it we just had like we just had to like fucking separate it oh god anyway don't don't do uh none of that was fun that was awful you shouldn't do it you want to do that at my wedding dude fuck yes if i'm on acid and i see the furry table there's nothing there it's just normal people i don't know why you're being such a fucking freakazoid about it oh my god i can't wait to go to your wedding and i i get to do like speech, the honorary Ed speech that happens at every wedding. Nobody said you could do that. And then I'm just on acid. I'm just like, how long have I been talking? You guys hungry?

That'll be fun. I can't wait to do that. I can't wait to do that thing that David promised. What? What did I promise? You promised me that I'd get to have a little Ed moment. I'd get to have a little Ed speech. I just learned about it right now, and I just said I don't want you to do that. I don't know what you're talking about right now. Okay, it's fine. We'll talk about it after we're done recording. We're not doing that. You're not

doing that. You're not doing that. But your mom said I could. My mom didn't say shit. You don't even... Actually, my mom's excited to meet you because I was like, oh, he speaks French. And then i was like oh i only he he speaks french and then she was like no way one french oh no way he hates fat chicks too let's go bro that's not nice

oh man good times good times with the acid uh i think what drugs have i not done oh my god smack crocodile uh what is crocodile anyway am i stupid the drug i thought it was yeah i thought crocodile was just like wasn't it just bath salts i know it's i i know it's the one that it's the one that makes you want to it makes your skin fucked up oh it's morphine it's called desomorphine it's desomorphine it's a semi-synthetic opioid commercialized by Roach

with powerful fast acting effects who the fuck is Roach? that's Geralt of Rivia's horse thank you Brendan oh my god dude at one point we just we just all started That's Geralt of Rivia's horse. Thank you, Brendan. Oh my god, dude. At one point we just all started talking like Geralt. I hope that all of you

got into a big wooden bathtub. If I'm ever on Ant-Man and I want you to be there, you can be Yennefer, I can be Geralt. Let's work this out. I just remembered we all just got in a circle. We all just started talking like we're like werewolves like gerald we were like battalion toming werewolves yeah if you gotta

get in this bathtub you have your oils then we just we all kept saying care for a round of gwent like we all just started talking about like dude i would love to fucking play gwent right now we all just got so hyped over gwent oh god i'm getting lightheaded just from everything i'm just gonna get a fucking i'll get a gwent table at my wedding yes finally we can all go play gwent and you're only allowed to sit there table but your mom has to deal at the gwent table and make the decks she doesn't know what exactly here's what we do actually is we have two tables instead of furry and influencers it's people like the witcher aka redditors and people who like fall at new vegas also redditors at one table it's gwent the other

table is caravan what the fuck is Caravan? Literally, 10 before you jumped into VC, they had a full five-minute discussion about how much they think Fallout New Vegas sucks. We did not say that. We hated it. Okay, I kind of hate it. David's trying to save it for the comment section. It's okay, David. You can be wrong

online. I don't care. I think that game bores. Boring. Fallout 3 is boring. Fallout New Vegas is boring. They don't care. I think that game bores. Boring. Fallout 3 is boring. New Vegas is boring. They're both boring. I like all of Fallout. Fallout 2 is good. Fallout is boring. Hey, Ten, how do you feel about, like, because I've been watching old

zero-punctuation videos in chronological order. How do you feel about him skipping New Vegas because it's just the same game? I know that it's a bit to make people mad, so I think that's funny. No, no, he meant it. Oh, he meant it. He's a silly goose.

Yeah, he meant it. And then he just spends the whole review talking about his first playthrough because he was like, well, yeah, if you want to hear what I think of Fallout 3, go look at the Fallout 3 review. Fallout New Vegas is so much better.

Fallout 3 doesn't have La Pesciencia. Does Fallout 3 or New Vegas have the Gwent table that you can play at David's wedding. It does have Caravan, which you could play at David's wedding. That one's easier. At my wedding, it's Gwent only.

I'm bringing my Caravan deck. I have a Caravan deck. I'm bringing it. I'm kicking my little feet and I'm clapping my hands because I just heard there's going to be a Gavan deck. I'm bringing it. I'm kicking my little feet and I'm clapping my hands because I just heard there's going to be a Gwent table. White people, when they hear there's going to be Gwent at the function. Kicking my little feetsies up in the air and getting ready for Patreon questions. David, when I meet all your furry friends, you know that thing you put in your hand to

zap people when you shake their hand? It's like a joker move. Yeah, the hand buzzer. I'm going to have that, but I'm going to replace the buzzer with a needle that's full of opioids, and I'm going to shake all the furries' hands like that. They're furries. They probably want that. No, exactly.

But I want to see them... I want to have a big table. Just get one of those little spray guns that you can spray people's faces with and then they are on acid. No, but that's the thing. I'm going to be the host, the guy that serves the blackjack table, but for the Gwent table.

I'm going to tell them, you're only allowed to be here if you're tweaking on acid. Guess what, Murrays? You're all already tweaking on acid. Have a seat. Then I'm going to play circus music. Like I said, I'm a drug addict oh my god bitch shut the fuck up i want to move on i already have so much to censor bro god damn can't say anything on youtube.com anymore can't even oh dude i love this one already can i pick

one yeah yeah yeah yeah patreon questions five dollars and above cheers on patreon.com slash the brain music i guess shane casier asks rank the hottest world leaders dead or alive i think hottest is probably the finnish prime minister let me let me see world teddy roosevelt that's a good answer i'm not gonna look at his mustache google teddy roosevelt look at his mustache let me let me see if there's a list of hottest world leaders yeah there's so many world leaders i think there's a lot i think least hot i'd have to pick gandhi david cameron is in the top 21 sexiest world leaders you should know on more.com. Isn't that the pig fucker? That's the pig fucker. Oh, damn. How hot's the pig?

Where's the pig ranking? Where's the pig ranking? Top 10 pigs I'd like to fuck. And that's the name of this episode. I don't think you can call it that. Oh, damn. The Monaco prince is Monaco prince is

Monaco? Monaco? That's gotta be racist. Come on, man. It's Monaco. That's true. Yeah, I'd say hottest is the Finnish Prime Minister. Least hot? Gandhi.

Is Gandhi a world leader? I don't know who any of these people are. Yeah, I mean, you can pick him as a world leader in Civ. I assume that counts. I don't think it does. I don't know. I guess he might have been considered a world leader. I don't fucking know.

Did he hold a political office? Let's not split hairs. I'm saying Gandhi. What hairs? He's bald. I don't know who any of these people are that I'm looking at. I don't know either. I don't know. Brendan, who...

I said Teddy Roosevelt. Pay attention. Brendan answered immediately. Isn't that Eggman? No, he has a beautiful mustache. That's Jim Carrey. He's not a world leader. Jim Carrey's too busy painting about Christ consciousness to lead the free world. No, what's the one...

There's a president that was like... I think you are correct. I think he did. Are you thinking of Grover Cleveland? No, they did. Teddy Roosevelt... Eggman was based off of Teddy Roosevelt. That's terrible

because Eggman's about destroying nature and Teddy Roosevelt helped institute the National Park System. So I think that's bullshit. I think Sonic is shit. Brandon, you bringing that up, I'm going to agree with you. Yeah, I think Sonic is shit. Sonic has always been shit. Sonic will always be shit.

Teddy Roosevelt fucking rocks. He had a really fucking scary smile. He's fucking hot. I would literally let Teddy Roosevelt split me in half like a fucking log. I don't care if I'm at the lumberjack camp and I'm supposed to be doing work there. I will let Teddy Roosevelt fucking rip me apart like goddamn pulled pork.

You can't do work if he's the one stopping you. He got shot during a speech and then waited to get medical attention until he finished his speech and I think that was pretty fucking cool. He's the fucking coolest president. He actually wasn't a guy. Never mind. I think that was pretty fucking cool. Oh, I remember hearing about that. Never mind, I'm going to say Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah, sure. Did you know Abraham Lincoln wrestled?

Did you know Abraham Lincoln was one of the greatest wrestlers in the country because he was 6'4", and it was 1800, and everybody ate, like, haste? People forgot you could just sweep the leg. Except him. He ate big, big meat. No, Abraham Lincoln allegedly won, like, 300 wrestling matches before losing his first one. Holy shit.

Yeah, he was like Goldberg, but back in the day. That's insane. No, he was a crazy good wrestler. There's a bunch of really funny paintings and drawings of depictions of Abraham Lincoln beating people at wrestling. I hope that eventually throughout the annals of history, when book burnings come back in full swing, I hope we burn all the books of Abraham Lincoln freeing the slaves and all he's

remembered for is just being a really good wrestler. Badass wrestling. And how much he loved theater. To be fair, that is a really cool hat. Did they keep his hat somewhere? Who has the hat? I have the hat. Probably mine.

The descendant of John Wilkes Booth. Yeah, I was going to say, probably the guy who shot him in the head. That's why he jumped over the balcony to catch it. Six Semper Tyrannis actually translates to cool hat. I'm keeping it. I actually don't know what it means hey ed sage senpai asks if you were immune to the law for a full 24 hours what illegal atrocities would you commit and how would you perform them i would take more acid i don't is acid a crime oh yeah yeah oh yeah i would take way more acid i would i would become a drug addicts uh he doesn't love a stranger oh so he's like oh you're in the purge

i just fucking i just fucking piss anywhere i want i'm tired of bathrooms i'm like so over bathrooms it's so fucking annoying finding a bathroom i just piss i just whip it out piss it out get out sounds weirdly personal i'm just so sick of bathrooms i think it'd be really cool to do payday 2 loud heist but in real loud heist oh that's you dude you can i i saw like a a new story not too long ago like somebody was robbing banks and there was somebody just in the comments that said i thought they patched robbing banks out like years ago i didn't know that was a thing you could still do and i started thinking about it's like i also didn't think people robbed banks anymore i'm gonna

be honest there was a so there was when i was a kid uh this is related to robbing banks and i just thought about this there was uh there my grandma used to own a consignment store and this woman came in one day just after i'd left an hour after i'd left my grandma called me it was like that woman that just came in uh she was talking to my mom that woman who just came in had just robbed a bank and spent all the bank robbed money at my store. What do I do? She told me she robbed a bank for this money. What is a consignment store?

It's like a store that sells furniture, garbage bags full of Beanie Babies. It's kind of like an antique store, but it doesn't call itself an antique store. Yeah, I don't know. Do you have to give the money back? It's like a thr store that's yeah I don't know what do you have to give the money back antique store I don't know what happened like I could call her but then if I talk to her I'm going to get sucked

into her world so I don't know if I want clarification on that right now I've never thought about it but that is weird like what do you what do you do if you get money that that was from a like robbed she apparently the lady apparently like ran down the street walked into the consignment store the cops couldn't find her and then spent like a thousand

dollars in my grandma's store and then ran off and almost got away with it what did she buy i think she bought a bunch of like just weird little like jewels and gems and rings little trinkets i was thinking in my head as a kid she grabbed one of the garbage bags full of beanie babies my grandma had and ran out of it and the bag had like a dollar sign on it but it was it was it was just apparently a bunch of like antique jewelry my grandma was selling and she just put that in her purse and ran off i mean i guess after that you can just pawn it oh wait i just realized i think i think they just use your grandmother for fucking money money laundering fucking yeah they laundered money with your grandma that's fine that's fine i'm pretty sure her consignment store was all ready for money laundering just to fill in its purpose oh my god

what would you do 10 what would i do say what illegal thing you would do i feel like a lot of these answers we can't say and i feel like the ones that i will say have been publicly stated already just imagine the worst thing we could do and we probably do it i've lost twitter accounts over what i've said like we're bored we'll do it i'm determined okay okay okay um yeah 10 yeah what i'm going to assume it involves threatening a person. So instead of saying their actual full legal name, you could just, like, what if you were Dan Harmon,

I guess now, and you had to, like, just replace their real name with, like, a fake Rick and Morty name and say, and threaten them, you know? And I think we'll be fine. What the fuck are you talking about? He knows what I mean, right? Come on.

Please, please, please, please. Ten. What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? Are what i mean right come on please please please please 10 what are you talking about are you trying to get me to admit to something are you a cop why are you yeah why are you acting like a fucking cop no i'm saying because you know 10 is saying that he's lost twitter accounts over what he would actually say so like i'm gonna assume this involves you know threats to beings or institutions so what i'm saying is like you could just say like a funny name like oh like badolf bitler you know who's that i would i would go i would i would take care of adolf he wouldn't be a problem he's dead i didn't even know he was sick i can't steal that joke but if you fucking set it up i have to say it because it's it's an all-time great gag. Who did that?

It was Norm MacDonald. Fuck, that is a good one. It's a fucking all-time great gag. It's so funny. I knew it. When I said that, I started smiling a little bit. Because I knew it was coming. Let's do two real quick because there's another one that's super quick.

That Matt asks, yo, what movie should I watch tonight? Thanks. It's called Serbian Film. Oh, it's called Salo. Go watch Nice Guys. Adventures with Pluto Nash. David, we talked about like, yo, when we're peaking, we should watch Salo 120 Days of Sodom. Are you fucking...

And then one of my friends actually told me he did watch it, but it took him like a week to finish it yeah no it's not it's it's not a fun movie it's really fun to watch no it's a really fun movie you should definitely watch it that underscore matt i also say solo 120 days of sodom saying what's your quote what oh sorry i was saying watch the nice guys with uh ryan Ryan Gosling and what's his name? Double feature it. Russell Crowe? Russell Crowe, thank you. I blanked on his name. I was going to say the guy from the Bad Les Mis movie.

Mobcat asks, what do you think is the worst animal of all time? I don't even have an answer. The fucking sunfish! What the fuck? I fucking hate sunfish so fucking much they don't taste that good they breed millions and millions of sunfish hoping that

some of them don't fucking die they don't have two brain cells to rub together and also they're fucking stupid i hate them they look funny but they look funny i want to take every sunfish out of the ocean and throw it on the moon and they can live there instead as moon medallions. Sunfish can fuck off this planet. I'm activated now. Why is Brendan so mad? I hate sunfish. I fucking despise them.

I don't know what it is. But every time I look at the round sunfish, I get incredibly upset. I am aggressively angry at sunfish, and I don't know what they did. I don't know who they killed in my family, but I'm going to get them. Brendan, have you ever seen that video of some fisherman in New Jersey seeing a sunfish

for the first time, and they don't know what it is? No. And they go, what the fuck is that? It looks like a baby whale. Sunfish literally get chunks bit out of them, and they just swim like normal because the animals are like, oh, fuck,

and they just... Sunfish roam around the sea like the chickens of the sea, but tuna is already the chicken of the sea because sunfish... I ain't eating that. I think kiwi birds are silly looking. Oh, dude.

Is that the one you hate? That's the one I hate. I hate sunfish. Do you hate kiwi birds? No, I was asking Ted about the kiwi birds. I don't know, man. I don't have strong negative opinions towards animals. I think they're neat. I think kiwi birds are stupidly shaped.

No, dude. Why do you think I work at a fucking zoo? I don't give a shit. There has to be one. No, they don't do anything. They just look fucking dumb. No. You can't fucking... Stop with your fucking cop-out. It's not a cop-out. I don't hate an animal.

What's the worst animal? Kiwi birds. Look at them. Why are they shaped like that? Mosquitoes. Oh, wait. Actually, yeah. Those guys kind of stink.

Mosquitoes are an important part of the ecosystem. Sorry. Tapeworms. No, I do not know. Tapeworms? Tapeworms are parasites. They're not an animal. They're an animal?

Is a tapeworm an animal? At least a tapeworm will make me pretty, but like Tapeworms are parasites. They're not an animal. They're an animal. Is a tapeworm an animal? At least a tapeworm will make me pretty, but like pinworms suck. You know who the world's worst animal is? Oh, I know. I know. I know. Man. Pregnant women.

Oh. They fall under that because it's like two of them. What the hell? I was going to say wasps. Wasps can fuck off. If you're seeing those wasp destruction videos i love watching those i queue those up like wasp nest destruction videos i watch this guy called like wasp king and i fucking love just playlisting those when i'm really bored

he goes in with a shop vac and he fucking sucks up wasps nests and then sometimes he takes all the grubs out of the nest and feeds them to wildlife. And it's fucking awesome. When you Google worst animals, all the lists are just like most deadliest animals ever. No, I want to know what the fuck the worst one is. Not the fucking deadliest. I would say wasps. Last time I saw wasps, I cut its head off. Jesus. Yeah.

It landed on my fucking toast. And I had like jelly on it. So it got stuck in the jelly. So I was like, oh, you fell from my trap. And so I took a butter knife and I had like jelly on it so it got stuck in the jelly so I was like oh you fell from my trap and so I took a butter knife and I cut its head off oh you should have taken a bite out of it literally perfect opportunity I really fucking hate those oh god what are those

things that emus isn't that the thing that Australians lost a war to yeah fuck them they're fucking ugly and stupid me watching koala Isn't that the thing that Australians lost a war to? Yeah. Fuck them. They're fucking ugly and stupid. Me watching Koala Man on Hulu? Fuck, I hate emus.

What does an emu look like? They look like a smaller ostrich. Oh, yeah. It's just like a smaller ostrich. And nobody that comes to my zoo knows what an emu is and misidentifies it all the time. Most of the time, it's a look at the ostrich, but

one time a woman tapped her kid on the shoulder and said, look at that turkey. Completely serious. And I was like, I'm not even going to change her. She's just consuming her own little world. That's what a turkey looks like. I mean, to be fair, ostriches are also fucking dog shit. Fuck those things. They'll fucking kill you. Google

on mobile has a new thing. If you look up an animal, it gives you a 3D model of it that you can interact with. That's fucking awesome. I'm excited to spin animals around later. Have you actually never seen that? No, I just, dude, I'm fucking around with this 3D emu. This shit's sick. I'm going to fucking spin around so many animals later.

It's in my fucking room. It's in my fucking room. Dude, I could actually like flip a shark upside down, but like at home, safe wait you know sharks die if you flip them upside down yeah they can't breathe oh my god meet life-sized emu oh what the fuck is in my room yeah no way that's fucking this is awesome wait hang on what what if i do fuck. What's the funniest animal? Hammer shark. It's in my room. Hammerhead shark. Can I get a 3D one? Oh, it's just walking around. I can't.

It's so big. What? It's like walking in my room. It's the largest bird. Dude, which animals are supported? Look up a quokka. Bison. Those guys are goofy.

What? Fucking no bison? This is fucking weird. It keeps looking at me when I talk. You can try buffalo. I can do koala koala works oh look at that fat bro what the fuck dude google technology crazy it was made in gary's mod no it does but like it's fucking awesome are there any other no meat meat life-sized koala up and close dude if i was on acid and i found this app i'd be i would be having the time of my life ed would be the next steve erwin holy shit dude

except like not dead yeah wait stingray hang on koala i could pick a koala there's kangaroos dude we gotta stop what the fuck are we doing oh we doing? You guys are so excited looking at all these animals, but I get paid to do that. Yo, dude, platypus are tiny. What the fuck? Yeah, dude. How big did you think a platypus was? Bigger than a fucking cat. I thought it was like, what?

Yeah, I'm going to be real. I thought a platypus was like a Komodo dragon. I thought that bitch was big. I thought it was big like a wombat, if I'm honest. Platypus are like fucking Otter sized Phineas and Ferb That's accurate that's how big they are

Maybe that's why I thought that You were like Phineas and Ferb That platypus is huge Yeah I was like damn Platypus also aren't Blue David pretty epic honestly What? Platypus also aren't blue david pretty epic honestly what platypus also aren't blue i'm just gonna say uh plural is platypi a platypussy huh how about that one that's

it's not it's definitely not platypussy yeah yeah holy shit they have your mom in this imagine what would you what if you could just have like 3d models of people's moms on your phone you probably could i bet there's an ar scan you could walk up to somebody and be like do you want to be in a video game they'll be like yes i'd love to be in one of those video games somebody's mom and your fucking phone forever like 3d animals folder on google and there's just one that's like felix's mom and nobody knows who felix is no dude don't look now but your mom is clipping through the wall in the door kind of fucked up i was gonna troll everyone and like get a job at TSA and rearrange the fucking big x-ray machine so it's a big David Cage full body scanner and then just have 3D models of people's moms and then just rotate them to fuck with people.

How do you think metal detectors work? You just got to stick some AR cameras in there. You just stick some AR cameras in there you just stick some AR cameras in there wait what do you mean you can make 3D models of things and people with a fucking phone nowadays no but it's not a metal detector I'm talking about the one that America has

the one that spins around you and every single time I forget to take my fucking glasses off so I just have sunglasses on in it and they go you have to put that on your head that's not a metal detector, David. That's a fucking full body scanner. Yeah, and it fucking circles your junk. They know what my penis is? They have

so many fucking pictures of your penis. No way. Are they like impressed or what? Have you ever gotten pulled aside? They have a fan group literally at the TSA office called PSTSA. David, as we speak right now, They have a fan group literally at the TSA office called PSTSA. David, as we speak right now,

there's a TSA agent rotating a 3D model of your cock. How does that make you feel? They're mad. They think our acronym is better than theirs. They're mad. Another question or are we done? I don't know. I can't believe we're still going.

I also can't believe we're still going. I'm like looking at a 3D turtle on the floor and it's just fucking walking around. I'm just imagining like the TSA being really mad that PST is a better acronym. And just to get back at David, they're just in a circle rotating a 3D model of his shaft. Yeah, exactly. What are they, are they roasting it

or are they just silently looking at it? They're just they're sitting there with their with their chin in their fucking hand and nodding they're listening to hard bass at the same time and nodding while they look at a rotoscoped version of your penis and and it's dead it's dead quiet david it's dead quiet but every couple rotations one of them goes fuck because i have a big penis they're trying to look for flaws they're trying to look for flaws in the system there is no there is no flaws in my penis you know like a heist movie or like they walk up to the table and there's a holographic table that pulls up like a diagram of uh of like the

bank they're trying to heist it's just like that they go to the hollow table they press their hands down and your penis appears like yeah how do we break it computer zoom into his inseam John you're a demolitionist tell me about this well the vas deferens are definitely well defended what's a vas deferens I feel like you've

told me already that's that's part of your tubes yeah did you know that a nutsack used to be fallopian tubes? Yeah, then your body decided to inflate them nice and big and round. Yeah, there's a scenario where I could have been born a woman, and that makes me very sad. Hey, thanks so much for listening. This episode would not be possible without the help from our top patrons, such as...

Alan Diver, Ben Krizmanek, Bjerre, Boopooloo, Brain Soup, Caffeine Addicted Chemist, Cheese Dreams, Chris Chapman, Christian B, Cthulhu60, Dasulbert, Dreams of Ice, Ducky Madness, DX Studios, DX Studios, DX Studios again? Eric Scott Gillies, Ethereal, Fang Jade, Generic Phoenix, Handsome Destiny, Hater 115, Inspector Seb, It's Ducktastic, Jacob, Jeff Smith, John Requires Lasagna, Kawaii Boy Toy, Leo the Geotech, Loudon Woodworth, Madeline Sawyer, me, Mr. Shirt, Sage Senpai, Samuel, nothing worth mentioning, Shantanu Batia, Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.