Please Stop Talking - Things With Wheels & Childhood Trauma | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: November 14, 2017

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Must be legal drinking age. This episode of the Please Stop Talking podcast is brought to you by Munchpak. Munchpak is a snack delivery service that delivers snacks to your door every week, two weeks, or month. They sent me a Munchpak mini for review and it was jammed with a bunch of cookies, candy, and some of the best fucking coffee I've ever had in my life.

It was like chocolate something. And you can get $3 off your first order of any size Munchpak if you go to the link munchpak.com slash psdpodcast or use the code psdpodcast. Is that psdpodcast but without a space? Without a space. Okay, thank you. Welcome to the podcast. Oh, right. Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Please Stop Talking podcast. I am your host, Avery, but you may know me better as Shammy. I'm joined today, as always, by my lovely friends, David. Hey.

Cameron. Hello. And Kyle. I was last. I know you were last. I don't... He was last. That's not important.

You were last, what? I was last. You were last, yeah. You did it right this last. What? I was last. You were last. Yeah. You did it right this time. I know. I'm very happy with it. Wait, you did say nice.

I did. I did it. What? I thought I did it right. What did I do? No, Avery did the Avery and Sherry thing, but I'm still sure that I'm supposed to come before Cameron. No one cares.

Who cares? No one cares. All right, Avery, do you want to tell us what today's podcast is about? Do I have to? It's just, it's just. What? What? What do you mean, do you have to?

Do I have to? Someone's gotta. Jesus. It's just a general. We're doing a similar thing that we did with the halloween special which is childhood just childhood stuff yeah stories things and uh david and i talked about we we decided on this theme about a week ago and uh then kyle and cameron joined voice today to record the podcast and go all right so what are we talking about this hey i have a story i have a fucking story Get the hell out of here

with this pointing fingers shit. It's true, though. That's a good transition into your story, Cameron. What is it? Ah, shit. I don't want to go first. Well, I mean, you kind of have to now. Alright, here we go. So, does everybody know what Heelys are?

Heelys? Oh my god. Yo, you are the coolest kid. Holy shit. Well, we don't know if you had one yet. Oh, wait, I- Hang on, hang on. This is not directly related. Did anyone know anyone who had like the knockoff Heelys that had like two tiny plastic wheels that like broke? No. Like rollerblades?

I had those. Well, now I know one idiot also also also you may not want to call me cool for just yet so i was in primary school i'm not sure if is that still primary school in america it's for me it is elementary this is relatable primary elementary school in america okay well elementary school is not relatable for me so i was i was around that age to like what seven eight and uh i saw another kid like we have this like sort of semi-slope in our school and in our school back then and uh i saw this one kid just slide down on his heelies and just like go zoom past me and i thought it was the fucking

coolest kid i've ever seen i was like holy shit i want to be that and so so like the next weekend i'm like with my dad i'm like dad i really want to go buy some heelies and he's like are you sure and like yeah i really do and okay we'll go down to the how much we'll go down these you always are like expensive they're pretty expensive uh but like he was like okay we'll we, we'll go down to the shoe store and we'll get you to try some on and see if you like them or not. I'm like, oh, okay, sweet, that'll be good. So we go down to the shoe store, and I put them on, and the first thing I try to do is I lean back on them, and I instantly fall backwards.

But I try and stop myself with my arm. Oh. Did you break your arm? Did you break your arm? I landed hard on it and it broke. I broke my fucking arm. You broke your arm trying on Heelys in the store. Wow.

This is the first time. Yeah, in the store. This is the first time I had ever broken a bone in my body like am I why was your immediate instinct when you put on heelies for the first time to just lean back no I okay so I didn't plan no no no no no I rolled back on my heels because like that's what I saw people doing and then I then I immediately slept like my my leg started coming forward so then i tried to lean forwards and then back and then i ended up falling backwards and then landing on my arm so like i it was i flailed basically quick question or two questions how did the person

selling you the shoes react and did you still buy the shoes did they give you no i did not buy those shoes i what the fuck why you would have that would have made you really cool yeah i guess just break your arms your first time riding helis and you still fucking learned okay no but like okay uh unless you were a pussy first of all the person who was well the person who was telling me the shoes uh uh, it was like a shoe warehouse. So there was, there wasn't actually like that many stuff around helping. And since I'd already like looked at the shoes or whatever and put them on, they, they like, you know, pissed off. Um, but basically my first reaction was like, ah, my arm. And my dad's like, oh, it's a pretty typical reaction to breaking your arm. My first reaction was, hmm, what's going on later today?

My dad was like, oh, are you alright? And I was like, I think I broke my arm. He's like, no, no way. I didn't give birth to a fucking loser that's what i was thinking no way no son of mine does this in the store broke his arm the first time he tried on heelys so i so i'm like no really so we go to the doctor and it turns out i fractured my actual arm like the bone fractured inside of my thing and i had to wear a cast for ages and I was so embarrassed that I broke my arm wearing Heelys and I had to come into school with a cast on right So I came up with a story for why I broke my arm

So Back then I want to know what Cameron thinks is a cool way to break his arm Wait, wait, whoa, okay. Okay. okay no no wait i just heard back then isis no what did isis no i i said i said back then i used to and then someone cut me off thank you oh i is okay i heard isis i was like cool back then i used to skateboard quite a lot dude same so um and i lived on a road which is, like, very steep, like, one of the steepest streets in the southern hemisphere. Wow, you're fucking cool.

Well, okay. Yeah, I know. I mean, I don't know. You just called out half the world out there. I don't know if Ed's online, but I feel like we need more famous people on this podcast if we got you. Ste steepest street in the southern hemisphere so so uh yeah i don't live there anymore but um i so when i did uh sorry i came up with this this

idea for like how i broke my arm that wouldn't make me sound like a loser so what i said is i uh i came to school like people like how the fuck do you that wouldn't make me sound like a loser so what i said is i uh i came to school like people like how the fuck do you break your arm and i'm like i was skateboarding and i was bombing uh the street that i live on you know steven street and i and i and i do you guys know what bombing a hill is on skateboard yeah i'm just curious okay just i mean it's it's it's just going down fast as fuck basically so. So I came up with this story, and they believed me, the idiots. Those seven-year-olds. They fucking believed me.

Why wouldn't they? They know you're a skater. They're going to look at that cat and be like, this cat says Heelys on it. Yeah. How could they not tell the injury said Heelys? Nobody in their right mind would go down that hill. There's no way.

You broke your fucking arm trying on Heelys in a warehouse. You aren't in your right mind. Oh, 7A, can you not attack me like this? Yeah, you're not 7A. You ain't 7A anymore, bitch. But anyway, that's how I got away with it.

I just realized the recurring theme here is the coolest thing to Cameron is rolling down a hill. Because he gets heelies because of the kid at his school rolling down a hill in heelies. And he's like, I need to be the coolest motherfucker about how I broke this arm. It's going down a fucking hill. I will be like just let him laugh like three minutes that was terrible look are you kidding me a kid comes into school with a broken arm and he says he went down a fucking hill on a skateboard and broke it and you don't think he's cool?

Are you kidding me? That's cool. How dare you? I don't know. Listen, I don't know. I would have to see the steepest hill in the southern hemisphere before I had to make that call. Go get the pictures. Did you manage to protract it or are you just shooting shit out your ass?

Your story is protracted. Go ahead. Anyway, that's my story. That's your story? You broke your arm trying on Heelys until everyone was actually going down a hill? Yeah. What do you want? Do you want him to get mauled by a bear

in the middle of it? Come on. He's seven! down a hill? Yeah. What do you want? Do you want him to get mauled by a bear in the middle of it? What's the... Come on. He's seven! I don't have anything he's gonna do. I just wanted to be mean to Cameron. This is the first time I've come out about this. Apologies to all my...

Coming out of the Healy closet. Apologies to all the people I've lied to for all these years. Do your friends listen to the podcast? None of the people I've lied to for all these years. Do your friends listen to the podcast? None of the people who I have friends with now, I went to private school with, so it's all good. Alright, cool. So it's got high Cameron's friends. Jesus.

David, did you ever do Heelys? Because you seem like the type of motherfucker to have a Heelys substitute that's worse. I literally had a Heelys substitute that was worse. Why are you attacking David? yes, stop attacking me God Not like an off-brand helix, but like a like an actual like don't heal ease with a fucking handle Like No The wheels on the toes that is such a specific thing. Oh my god. I would have fucking broken so much more if there were all the heels.

Why would I have something that's Heelys but not? I don't know. You do seem like the type to have Heelys with Heelys with Heelys. What the fuck is a Heelys without Heelys? Like David's form of Heelys is wheelie heels. I think wheelies is actually the name of the off-brand Heelys I had. Hang on, I'm going to look that up really quick. I want to see if I can find the pair I had.

Oh, you can get Heelys on Amazon for like my size for $80 I'm not saying I might get them they're 80 fucking bucks so the slope at its most is 19 degrees I can't believe wait do you say the hill was 19 degrees wait what yeah 19 degrees

I don't believe that that is the steepest hill in the southern hemisphere you're really cool though you're still pretty cool Mm-hmm. I don't believe that that is the steepest hill in the southern hemisphere You're really cool though, you're still pretty straight. That's Davis the steepest straight you can drive up. I think is the actual Well southern hemisphere is the fucking pussy hemisphere confirmed then I mean they it says in the world at the fucking shit. Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's like a fucking landmark? Yeah, it is. You poor boys. It was actually awful walking up there at school.

There was always so many tourists, and driving up there was horrible because people were always in the middle of the street. Tourists! People come to see the steepest street! See a 19-degree hill in the Southern Hemisphere. What? People come from all over. What the fuck okay and he's

skateboarded down it there's buses that of tourists that go around there it's great it's a wee little tourist spot that's the lamest thing i've ever heard in my life and i just heard the story of how you broke your arm while you tried out healing in a warehouse i actually set up a shop uh on my street there that exploited tourists who were walking up and overselled my old toys to tourists as trinkets. It was great. Good times. Did you actually?

Wait, how? What? How old were you? Ah, fuck. It's seven or eight again. I didn't live there for... I actually... Wait, did you actually make, like,

bank? Not much. I mean... You actually sold some, though. Yeah. Of course I did. Who the fuck bought toys? What the fuck?

That's so random. The 19 degree hill toys. Why would people buy shit from a 7 year old why would they not just buy from a store uh excuse me this is the steepest street uh thank you they're tourists not my culture

you're the one selling the toys what the fuck did you sell to these people though like what kind of toys I don't know I can't remember man it's a long time ago would they buy anything from a child then see a child trying to be an entrepreneur they're like wow good job kid that's the kids don't have fucking kids don't have i'm selling my toy stands they have fucking lemonade stands i was also selling lemonade. What?

What is your problem, Avery? I'm just trying to make money. This is awesome. Dumb American tourists. Were they American? I mean, let's be honest. No, get fucked, Kyle. Actually, I did sell something to an American tourist, if I remember correctly.

God damn it. Get fucked, Avery. There were some- Actually, I did sell something to an American tourist, if I remember correctly. God damn it. I can't remember what it was. Get fucked, Avery. Get fucked, Kyle. In general. You're both Americans. This is both negatively- Whatever.

Wow. Can we move on to someone else's story? Did you tell me you're French tourists? We've been on this for a very long time. We've been on this for a while. Mine isn't even really a story. Mine is just a weird thing that I remembered last week that I had to repress. Cameron, you didn't even know!

Can you de-repress it now? I mean, I only remember like... Or should I say press it? I only... Shut the fuck up. I only remember like little bits and pieces. Is 14, does that still count? Sure.

Yeah, no, absolutely. I didn't say anything under 14. Kyle, you're American. You know how... Way to out him, Avery. I didn't even realize this was an... I didn't even realize... Way to fucking out him.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was an interactive story. Kyle, you're an American. You know how like fucking Driver's Ed is a racket, right? Oh yeah. It's complete bullshit. A hoot? In Driver's Ed when I was 14 years old, I missed a

lesson at one point. 14? That's really young. What? You get your learner's permit at 15. Was it an actual driving lesson? No lesson or just like a class lesson? No, it was a class lesson. Okay. It was an in-class lesson. I was 14 years old and I was taking my, the actual classes for driver's ed where you had

to sit in a fucking room and they were like, look at all these people who fucking died. And it's just like, what am I supposed to be learning from this? Oh, what is it called? It's like some bloody ass or something asphalt or something yeah okay and this is unrelated to the story i'm about to tell but my teacher for these fucking lessons at one point we watched a video where a dude like fucking a hundred percent dies it's like a it's like a camera shot from inside his car he like his car like rolls like 10 times and he's like flying camera shot from inside his car. He, like, his car, like, rolls, like, ten times, and he's, like, flying around inside of it

because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt. 100% dead. And she, it's like she turns the video off, and she's like, I don't know why. Always makes me laugh. And I'm like, what? Whoa! No!

What the fuck? What the fuck? Okay, as a quick side note, sorry to derail, but I've got a weird driver's ed story as well where we went to like you can go after this same okay yeah okay well this is driver's ed stories now but um while i was i missed a class uh while i was doing it and you can't actually um take the test or do the lesson or get your learner's permit um without attending every class of driver's ed so the place where i usually went to go to driver's ed um they did they weren't doing this

class again in the time frame that i needed to take it so i had to drive out to like this other driver's ed place that for some reason was really fucking far away. Like out, like kind of in the middle of nowhere. Really? You drove a car. You had to drive out. I didn't drive. I got dropped off by my mom.

That's kind of legal. What? David. Sorry, he's foreign. He's foreign. He's foreign. He's foreign. Getting dropped off by your mom is not illegal in America, David. I'm sorry.

Well, you said drive out. I wasn't driving. What are you talking about? Go on, go on, go on. So I got dropped off at this place and I walk in and okay. So where I usually took driver's ed oldest kid there, probably like 16, maybe like like 15 16 oldest kid in the class i walk into this one and i'm like all of these people are over 30 and i am a 14 year old boy and there are six of them and so we just they just sat me down in the class and it was like this dimly lit classroom

and like the lights were fucking flickering. And then they wheel out this old, tiny-ass TV, and they put a VHS tape in it. And the VHS tape was about not hitting bears with your car. Which was not the lesson I missed when I was trying to take driver's ed it was about driving through national parks what to do when you see a bear wow and I was there for an hour I mean

I didn't know you had bears in Texas there aren't that's the thing we don't have bears and if we do have bears we don't have enough bears to warrant an hour long VHS tape for fucking driver's ed instead of learning something fuck I wish I learned about beers

no actually if you live in Yosemite that is like maybe a valid like lesson in driver's ed it's not a valid lesson in the middle of a fucking city and California is second nature to us we don't need to watch a video. It's second nature to not hit bears, exactly.

Who is that? It's second nature to not hit anything. What are you talking about? But maybe... You know, I guess that's fair. Maybe in Canada. Oh, shit. But no.

Wait, do you also have the fucking game where it's like 10 points to hit an old lady? No, but the thing is, the thing is, like the VHS tape, the dude in it was so fucking Texan. Like, he was like, he had like the fucking hat and he was like, howdy y'all. Today we're going to learn about not hitting bears. Oh my God. But it's not a problem in Texas. I i don't understand do you remember anything from it no i just remember being completely fucking baffled and then at the end i think there was

like a at the end of the day at the end of the day at the end of the lesson i had to sign a thing to say i was there i and then i left and I immediately purged it from my memory until last week literally the first time since it's happened that I thought about it like I don't know what triggered that memory but like I was just sitting I was making

a cup of coffee in my kitchen and I was like why the fuck did I watch a VHS tape when I was 14 years old about not hitting bears in the middle of nowhere in a class in a classroom for driver's ed for 14 year olds that was full of 30 year olds what the fuck was that avery subliminally you're planning a trip to yosemite and you just have to work out i'm a sleeper agent now i'm that's what i'm concerned that i might be a sleeper say the right combination of words and i'll hit a bear i don't know i like to think there's like

a bit of history in texas where like they found like four just splattered bear bodies and they're like huh we should make a video about i don't know it was the most fucking like 90s vhs tape like tutorial thing ever with like the 3D text that flies at the fucking screen. Oh, yeah. Shit like that. It's my aesthetic. I don't even know. That's not an interesting story.

There's no payoff for this story. It's just a weird fucking thing that happened to me that I didn't think about for fucking seven years. So we're your therapy now. I guess, yeah. Oh, no. So do you have an irrational fear of bears? Not even. I don't live near enough bears

to have an irra- I don't live anywhere near monkeys. It's like, bears- But, like, you know what I mean, though? That doesn't make any sense. Never mind. You contradicted- You said it just contradicted yourself by referencing a past

episode you fuck good job don't live anywhere you're monkeys i don't there's no threat of giant squid near me i don't know what it is all right so i got my small like driver's ed so at school they took us to an expo about safe driving right and it was at a sports center basically and they like drove some cars in to show us about like car safety and stuff like that so it's all normal and then we get to this part where like it's this it's just really like supposed to be funny rap about sober driving and like being a sober driver and it's like it's like yo it's cool to be the sober d and stuff like that right like really really like super like like no one else like when cameron did that so i need someone to put a backbeat on that and then make it an entire

song no but like it's legit it's like that though it's exactly like that like really bad rap like it's trying to be funny but it's not really funny the edutainment stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah so we watched that we're all we'll get out of that instantly the next thing we're into is a fake funeral and it's they they bring in actors and and there's a big casket story about this too and we're we're all sitting around it and it's like we just got out of this like really like you know it's like it's like haha look at that that was such a weird video or whatever to like this super serious like this could be one of you or a friend

if you let them drunk drive look to your right they do that they say look to your left and look to your right any one of you guys could be the person in this casket and then they have these actors come out these actors come out and have this dialogue

they have this fucking monologue. Like the person inside the casket is someone who's actually died. They're like, I miss John so much. And they start crying and shit. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on right now? Little did you know that that was actually them just furthering their point that life could change in a matter of five seconds. It can all go from fun and games to being at a funeral that was so if you if you saw the sober d video there is no way they were

fucking thinking that because the thing is that we we go in groups so it just video so it just it just happened that my group watched that video before going to the funeral thing because you go around in a loop of all the different activities Until you get to the final one which is the funeral one We're all there like what the fuck is this shit? It was so fucking weird Does that mean some people started off at the funeral because that makes it kind of no no no no everybody finishes on the funeral That's that's the last activity. The last activity is the funeral. What a fun activity.

Just like in real life. Amazing. David, did you say you had a driver's ed thing? Did I? Yeah. So when I did my driver's ed, the practical test where you had to drive around with the fucking like the student car and there's

the guy next to you and he's like smoking weed my guy was fucking nuts like we were driving around and then when there was this we stopped by like a red light and he was talking to me like yeah so you your break was all right like everything you did was all right maybe a bit too like too hard on the pedal and then he while talking he just like grabs the he just grabs the wheel and then he rolls down the window he and he's still talking and then he's like give me a sec yo bitch it's green and i was like whoa holy shit this is canada i was so this is this is french canada kyle yeah oh yeah i was 17 i was like oh my god and then we were driving in a more rural rural area where it was like just like nobody on the

road he was freaking out because there was somebody in front of us and he was driving slow and i when you start out you don't know every rule because like i still didn't finish my theory so i didn't know i could just pass him so he's like he he's like theory wait don't you have to do a theory before you're practicing don't you have to do your like class you do both before you do your practice you do both at the same time like you learn something you do it and then you learn another thing that is not the way it works that's not smart i don't know i don't think it's smart encounter a situation that you don't know yet you're kind of like yeah it's it's really stupid it's really stupid but yeah and he he was just really fun he was getting really pissed off because it was so so it was like stupid bitch it's so slow and i was like uh yeah

classic david and then he put his like leg above above like I don't know the dash above the dash fucking press the gas and I was like what the fuck and he just like went in front of her like took the

wheel and he was fucking crazy little did you know this is the teo taxi guy but yes oh my god took the wheel and... What? He was fucking crazy. Little did you know, this is the Tao Taxi guy, but yeah, it's... Oh my god. Oh shit. Like the time traveler's wife.

I just remembered something. The time traveler's driving student. I just... I just remembered something. After three... Three classes with that fucking crazy guy i actually i called the i called the uh the school to tell them like what happened and they fired him hell yeah oh you did it you did the david thing! You David the fuck out of it.

I completely forgot about that. I'm not gonna lie, like, this one was, it sounds pretty warranted, but you still did the David thing. Fuck. I completely forgot that I did that. Oh my god. You do it so often, it's not even memorable anymore I was just gonna bring up if you're not doing the mom thing you're all quiet but you did the mom thing as well the closest thing I have to that is you do your driving your practicals in pairs

at the place that I did I hated that so much so one time I was I did mine in a pair with fucking delinquent. And at one point, uh, the instructor was like, you can't do that.

And he just turned to her and he said, I will crash your side of the car. Holy shit. That is so fucked. He did not pass she she she she made him pull over and then she dropped him back off at the place and then i got to do my practical alone that's awesome fucking insane what a badass holy shit that sounds like something that only fucking happens in movies

holy shit dude texas that's so surreal that sounds like something that only happens in texas the fucking uh the place i went it was like um okay so i don't know if any of you guys what the fuck am i talking about of course you I don't know if any of you guys, what the fuck am I talking about? Of course you guys don't know anything about Houston. There's like, so, uh, I-10 is this horizontal like freeway that goes through Houston and like South of I-10 is where like rich people live. And like North on i-10 so so you got a mix you got a good mix in there okay john tron you got rich it's a joke calm the fuck down david

okay fuck it but so there was it was like a mixture of like oh this is just gonna sound really racist now it's fucking the people who live north of 10 are generally like less wealthy is basically what it is because the housing the housing there is cheaper because it's not as good nice of an area but like there was like a mixture of like like really like bad kids in those classes so the teacher was not the only one who was laughing at like the horrible car crash footage oh i don't know like so i just got like That was a really interesting day when I had to do that practical. Wait, that happened? Oh, okay. Right. Man.

I don't know. Do you guys like... Do you actually like driving? No. Yes. You like driving? I... Anytime I go anywhere with friends, I'm the driver. Oh, man. That's true. I hate driving so much

especially in big cities yep well actually i think that might be it because kyle doesn't live in a big city i don't live in a big city and i don't like driving in san francisco which is the big city i go to the most live in i live in a fucking massive city with terrible traffic, so I hate driving. Same. But the one thing, well, even then, I prefer driving to not driving because the one, I don't know, I think what really made me like driving

is how much I hate sitting passenger. I just hate sitting and watching other people drive. Even if they're good drivers, there's very few that it won't bother me, so I always try to drive. shall we move on to the next childhood story shall we wait didn't wait didn't i realize that that would reveal specifically where i live so i'm not telling that story oh okay texas yeah texas docks and don't give it away david uh yeah have you guys Wait actually I'm curious Do you like

Okay I'm gonna start I have an older sister and a younger sister Do you guys also have like siblings I know Avery and Kyle I have a older brother I have a younger sister He is older than me by 11 years though Nice

I have a younger sister by 3 years I am the middle child. Same. For now. Okay. In what? Okay. Either you kill somebody or somebody pops out.

That would still make him a middle child. That would still make him a middle child. Okay. Have you guys... Fuck. Oh my god it's really hot in my room right now i'm not thinking straight okay um have what's the worst thing you've ever done to your siblings or the worst thing they did to you ooh fuck I don't know I'm not ready you're not ready how bad

is it I don't know I don't know what it is like I know I feel like what's the worst I did so many I did so many things but they weren't as bad as that one time so I have an older sister and a younger sister.

Is that like the fucking voiceover at the beginning of a movie? What the hell was that? What the hell was that? Was that a rhetorical question? Because I was about to answer. What? No, no, let David go first.

I don't even remember what it... He's buying me time to think. Okay, But yeah, I, uh, I remember my older sister and my younger sister were like always bugging each other and they would always end up fighting. I remember my,

my younger sister was, I don't know. It happens a lot. Like that. The youngest is always the most, the most annoying or the one that tries to like fuck with the other ones the most I think it's the oldest it's the oldest

I guess for you guys but for us it was always my younger sister that was like trying to stir up some shit and like she was fucking around with like my older sister and teasing her and my older sister was eating Pogos,

uh, corn dogs. I don't know if, yeah, I know what a corn dog is. Corn dogs. We called them Pogos. And she,

and she was so fucking upset. She just started yelling at my, my younger sister. Like she was like, stop fucking teasing me. And then my, my younger sister would not stop and my older sister just took the fucking plate this big heavy porcelain plate smashed it

in into on my fucking younger sister's fucking head she jesus christ she passed out. She didn't pass out. She got knocked out. That's a very big difference. She fainted after. She got hit in the head with a porcelain plate and she fainted. I remember I was in my room

playing video games and I just hear, I was in my, I was in my room, like, I was in my room playing video games and I just hear bang. And I'm like, whoa, what the fuck? And my, I just hear my, my older sister start laughing maniacally. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Yeah. I didn't know what to think.

I was like, whoa, holy shit. And she was just on the couch and my younger sister had blood on her face and she was passed out. I feel like I understand you as a person a lot better knowing now the environment that you were growing up in. No, I was

not crazy. I only thought... What? I only was i i went into one fight with my older sister yeah one any blood we were fucking like 10. Calm down. How does that make it better? I don't know. She fucking killed me.

How much older is she? She broke my... What? How much older is she? I have two years with both. So my older is two years older and my youngest is two years younger. So what did she do to cause that fight?

Which fight? What did you do to cause that fight? Oh, I don't remember. I just remember like... Bashing her skull into the concrete? Curb-stopping her? No, I just... I think it had something to do with chalk.

Is that why you like Tekken so much? Oh my god. Is this why you like Tekken so much? Oh my gosh. Is it like therapeutic for you? Yeah, because I just relive good memories. Okay. Oh my god. That went dark. No, she broke my shin.

Wait, is it called a shin? What is it? I don't know what the bone is called. I'm not an anatomist i don't know it what the wait because above the foot it's called a shin that's your shin yeah she broke my shin yeah she broke my shin and i destroyed her jesus christ Jesus Christ. What the fuck? No, I just... That's not true. I remember we were upset.

I pushed her on the ground. She fell. She got up. She broke my shins and that was it. Why is everybody quiet? And that was it. She died. So the worst thing I've done to my older brother is, uh, I lost his PSP.

By accident. That was a bad thing I've done. Okay. The duality of man between Cameron and David. David curb stomps his sister into the ground if she breaks his shin. I didn't curb stomp her. I pushed her on the ground, she fell. I lost my older brother's PSP and I felt really bad about it.

I did, I was playing the family guy game on it It was really bad He deserved it Yeah I don't really have one Mine aren't funny Okay so it wasn't me But my mom told me about how When she was a child

She had four siblings But her older sister who was like like probably like five or so years older i don't know uh used to when she was really young she would babysit my mom and whenever she pleased she would lock my mom in the closet for like up to an hour and then after the hour was over let her out and then console her so that way she would feel comfort in her but then

like be the one to console her so it's like this fucked mental game that I guess she used to do and I think that's the most fucked thing whoa okay there's a lot to unpack there that was but i mean it's cool to show now it's

whatever that is so dark that is i wonder why i'm a psych major oh my god kyle where did she lock you uh i wasn't she was my mom she didn't lock me if she was my older sister maybe maybe, I don't know.

No one locked me anyway. Okay. I don't think... if I did, I would've pressed it. I don't know what to think right now, oh my god. I don't... Cameron? So, like, uh... Where'd you... did you ever find the PSP?

No, I... I swear to god I put it into a locker, and then I came back to the locker, and it wasn't there. I don't know where to go from there. It might have been stolen. That was so fucking dark. I don't know. One time when I was a kid, I was at a swim meet and I was running and a branch fell off a fucking palm tree and it hit me in the leg

and I have a scar there now. Whoa. I'm just trying to get off the subject. Coconuts kill more people than sharks do. It was a branch. It wasn't. It was neither a coconut nor was it a shark.

Have you guys ever broken anything as a kid like a lamp or whatever oh yeah yeah uh because i okay i i remember it was like i was so young i might have been like six five and how tall is ed is he's six eight whoa he's a monster yes he's aware uh but yeah i i was like five or six six My brother was six, nine. Your brother actually six, nine? Yeah, he's really tall. Kill him. Holy shit. What? Whoa.

Wait. Hello? David, you were telling your story about breaking something. Yeah, okay. So it was like the beginning when, well, I don't know if, I don't remember when like personal printers started becoming a thing i just remember we were super young my i was i was super young we not weak that's weird um what the fuck are you talking about my dad came in he had a compact computer that company does

not exist anymore and he bought the computer and a printer and i remember he was he fucking loved his printer like because it was the beginning when printers started being more available to the public so he bought it for like maybe 1.5k or some crazy shit and uh i was playing a a math game oh wait you guys might know what that is uh oh what's the rat it's a rabbit and he do math. Oh. I have no idea. Learner rabbit. Is it just learner rabbit?

Peter rabbit? What? Learner rabbit. I don't know. I swear to God. It doesn't matter. Whatever. It's a game about math and rabbits and shit and you could draw on it and i just like made a drawing probably was really shitty and

my dad was like you can print it if you want and like i was like okay i'll print it and like it so you started back in the day with the computer what nothing go ahead and uh printing paper or printing on paper was so fucking long back in the day like it took like one or two minutes so like i start printing my dad's he he he just says like i'm gonna go upstairs and i'll be right back and i i i thought it was a bit long so you know what i fucking did i grabbed the paper and i just started like oh yeah yanking at it i pulled at it so fucking hard i actually broke the printer that's incredible. The first thing. Your tiny little boy strength. I know. The first thing we ever printed with that thing. The first day I broke my dad's printer. And I felt so fucking bad.

He just comes back. He wasn't even angry. He just started crying. Oh my god. What? No. You crying. Oh No, no, you're a dick I felt dude I he wasn't even upset he was just like He sounds like he was crying. Yeah, why was like

Why was it? Wait, did you say he wasn't upset because when he first hears, like, it's okay? No, I said- I said- Is he like, oh, well, it must be okay. I'm gonna go play video games. I didn't have video games back in the day. You were playing a math game. Oh, yeah, well- You're about to diss on edutainment in front of my boy, Cameron, with a Sober D video? Okay. But no, he was just really sad because he spent so much money on that printer. Was it the first day?

Yeah. That's what I said. First day, first thing we printed. I felt so shitty. You're a dick. You're the worst. I was a six-year-old child and I did not know how to print worst. I was a six-year-old child and I did not know how to bring her. You were the worst six-year-old child.

He probably didn't like me that day. At least he didn't curb stomp you. He didn't throw you at the window. He didn't smash you over the head with a fucking blade. Guys, we're making this sound so like everyone needs to call your mom and get you over the head with a fucking blade. Stop this. Jesus. Guys, we're making this sound so... We're making this sound like everyone needs to... Call your mom and get you fired.

Oh, my... Yo, this son thing, I don't think it's really working out. Can we get rid of him? He's breaking more than he's making, is what I'm saying. Send him outside of the street and make him sell some toys. You guys make me sound so much worse than I actually am. No. I mean, we're just commenting on the story you told.

I never said I curb stomped my sister, but you keep saying I did. That's fair, that's fair, that's fair. What are you saying? We never said you did either. At least he didn't break your shin. Is that better? Good. I mean, he never hurt

me. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah. This is getting to a really dark place. I know. We're getting shot in the Kyle closet talk Was brought to you by much Are we done are we done this Cameron we went on story about you breaking your fucking mother's heart or something So I feel like...

Don't use that as a fucking springboard! So I feel like losing the PSP wasn't my fault. I feel like it might have been stolen. Because I left it in the locker, and then I came back and it wasn't there, so I'm pretty sure someone took it. You know, I wish we started off with that, so this whole entire journey could have been about you just thinking about the PSP. Welcome to the PSP podcast. How may I help you? Alright, are we done?

Yeah, it's more than over. I think we're fine. I mean, this might be a short episode, but we've gone too deep. It is not a short episode. Please just finish. Alright, you can follow me on Twitter at twitter.com

slash Just say at. At SirZulu underscore. At SirZulu underscore. And... Nowhere else. My friend Patty's on there. Okay.

Nowhere else. I don't have many friends. Okay. Cameron. Okay. Cameron? Okay. You can follow me on Twitter and super safe Also a YouTube video might be on my channel maybe at some point Is it the game music video, where can I find this YouTube channel? Oh wait, you're on wait. What do you mean?

You're YouTube famous. How many subscribers do you have 42? Shut up. All right. Wait, wait, you're gonna be active on YouTube now, huh? Yeah I'm gonna be able to release some stuff that I've worked on this year You know what's funny? I wrote Super Sneak S and it gave me sheep, so people are looking for you, son. This episode hasn't even come out yet.

Can we finish? Let's finish the podcast, please. David goes next. We can just cut out David. Why? I don't know. I'm important. Let's mix it up. No, you actually start sometimes.

Call me on Twitter at ShammyTV. I got unbanned. I'm not using Twitter right now though. I'm taking a break for personal reasons. Also, you can subscribe to me on YouTube. Why did I even plug that on this? What? Hey, can I fake Shammy? Well, for the SoundCloud listeners,

what's your YouTube? YouTube.com slash C slash ShammyTV. Fuck, what else do I ever plug? I don't even know. What about your SoundCloud? Twitch.tv slash ShammyYT. That's it. You can meet us on Discord at

Discord.gg slash share me don't say that don't say me oh whatever you can follow me on twitter at sermyoumusic soundcloud at sermyoumusic

spotify at sermyou and twitch at sermyoumusic don't get locked in any closets