Please Stop Talking - This One's For The Boys (feat. Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

I have 5 children! I was a lost soul. I am very intelligent! My kids HATE ME! Check out my new song "Lure Gaff Bait Tackle"! ▶ https://spotify.link/u3sBaTUyWCb Check out Cryptid Crush! ▶ https://drowsy-drake-studios.itch.io/cryptid-crush Check out our merch! ▶ https://pleasestopshopping.com/ Support the podcast on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Billy ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Brendan ▶ https://twitter.com/BrendanielH Cameron ▶ https://twitter.com/SuperSneakSheep Corbin ▶ https://twitter.com/lobbymemez Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Art ▶ https://twitter.com/B00_Rad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Must be legal drinking age. Howdy! PSD and its shows are mostly supported by you guys. If you like what we do, make sure to rate the podcast wherever you listen, subscribe if you haven't, share your favorite moments and episodes with friends, and check out our Patreon if you want to give us some financial support, as well as getting a little something in return. All that stuff helps like you would not believe. Thanks so much for everything and we hope you enjoyed this episode of Please Stop Talking. I saw a video while I was looking on YouTube, I just like typed in Nutria Rat to see like anything about what like, I don know i like watching cute animal videos and the first

one i clicked on was like this dude just butchering one and eating it why are their teeth red is my problem they are i don't fucking know they don't have teeth brush to be fair the animal kingdom they don't have teeth brush yeah but not every animal's teeth are red yeah all i'm saying is that it's unnatural for humans to brush their literally stop that are you doing the sound void yeah that's crazy i thought about wait you can hear the difference too this motherfucker i was like i i heard you say yeah five times in a row without like any other contribution and like in completely like nonsensical places. Like, what is this guy doing? That's crazy.

Why did you record a bunch? They are a rat. Why did you record this? Sometimes while I'm talking, I'll pick up specific phrases. That's how soundboard usually works. No. You should refresh your fucking soundboard usually works. No. You should refresh your fucking soundboard from time to time. Keep people on their toes. I'll think about it.

Is that... Stop it. No. If you have to ask, Billy... Why? That's crazy, Billy. No, that one's bullshit. That's crazy, Billy. Okay, no. He just recorded that one. Fuck you. No, I didn't. In 1997, I killed five men. In 1997, I one's bullshit. That's crazy, Billy. Okay, no, he just recorded that one. Fuck you. No, I didn't. In 1997, I killed five men.

In 1997, I killed five men. It's impossible to record with this man. How old were you in 1997? I was four. I was four in 1997. I was not born yet. That's crazy. I exist beyond time and space.

Welcome to the podcast. I have to come clean about something. You guys probably know about this right because i like i i've showed you guys my process with like sound design and stuff and now that i'm done with like doing contract work for good because i've been doing contract work as well as pst for the past few years because pst costs money so it's good to have your my little side thing to like help with paying uh but now i don't have to do it anymore so that's good so now i can finally reveal my greatest secret i've been

working on a bunch of videos on youtube for a bunch of different creators and every single time i've done editing for them or sound design i've hidden the Nerf This Diva fart in the video. What is wrong with you? Like a little secret? I'll show you guys. There's one that's very specific. Like, I've done it for, like, if you see my name in the credits of a YouTube video, chances are really good that I hit the Diva fart.

There's one that is really, really bad that I... the diva fart there's one that is really really bad that i i it's billy it's my favorite one i know exactly which one it's uh i i used to do video editing for this like this youtube channel for cats where it was just this woman filming her cats are you telling me about that i i put. I put the video in general and... It's so good. There's just these old people eating like Popeyes and I thought it would be

really funny to make it sound like one of the fucking old people did the diva fart. It's at the very end. That video went up. Oh, I joked. It's at the very end. That video went up. Oh, I joked. That's so subtle.

What the fuck? Yeah, I hid that. It's crazy because it does it the second the camera moves. So you think it might just be, if you're not like knowing about it, you might just think it's a chair being moved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That video has 115,000 views, I think. And it's on a channel that has 150k subscribers and i'm not

gonna say any more than that i don't want people to find it and tell has any uh create a cold you out for it like has anyone like being like julian julian is really the only one julian's the only one that found it but i i i mean i i've worked with like plenty of people like like is it safe to say it now it's been so long that i've done it what's the statute of limitation on in putting a fart yeah on hiding i think it's safe all right billy is the money in your bank account yeah and also the videos have been updated for like years there's there's one jayden animations videos that i did that i i hid that and it's uh nobody's ever found it and so it's really easy to find the video there is a hundred percent of fart in that though it's like

it's a pretty nasty one it's a it's a fucking diva fart here here here it is again here's a diva fart just for people who like need context for the fart go go find it go crazy and then try to find it in uh julian's uh dying light 2 video you can find all the hidden diva fart noises that billy years. It will lead you to a treasure. And you get the time stamp. There once was a man named Cold Billy. And I've hidden farts and once you find all farts, you may

you can go to the you will find a clue that will lead you to the Bermuda Triangle. See if you can sniff out all these clues. If your pH levels are... Oh my god. If your pH levels

are correct, you will be led into the kingdom of god. I can't believe Corbin out here posted Pooh's clues. We'll get you 10 skips on the Overwatch 2 Battle Pass. Oh, dude. You're welcome. Billy, when I played that video for the first time, the second the fart hit, my internet got cut out. You know what's fucked up too like i i actually i shouldn't say that

that's really sad okay fine it's too late it's too late okay so the video of the cat uh that was the last video of the cat because the cat died oh my god right i don't think i don't think i don't think that gives too much context cats die all the time i mean it's not every day that a famous cat dies i mean i feel like a bunch of cats died recently you're sick you know what's fucked up i i've been like what because i was their editor for some reason they were like they they were like okay with me like being uh a manager on the channel so i could upload stuff on their youtube so i still have like i don't i have not worked for them for like two years i keep telling them to unlink my account and they like i'm an administrator on that account still like Actually, I can still go on there.

I can do anything on there because they haven't got... I keep telling them to get me out of that. I'm still a fucking admin on it. I could upload anything. All right, Billy, the creep video gets uploaded to that channel. No, absolutely not. What you got to do is you got to switch out the videos, right? gets uploaded to that channel. No! Absolutely not. I'm gonna get sued. What you gotta do is, like, you gotta

switch out the videos, right? You gotta, like, switch out the videos for videos that are exactly the same, but with a subliminal message that tricks people into following the PST podcast. I wish you could, like, edit videos on YouTube where you could just, like, read. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just add, like, a

fart noise. If annotations were still around, if we didn't lose annotations, you'd be able to be like, and follow the PST podcast. People would be like, oh, I love cats and I love cat videos. I would, but I'm a worse person. No, no.

That's not funny. Doing an ad for yourself on a video you have access to is not funny. You have to do something. No, no, no. That's what I mean. No, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, aging we gotta find a new disease old people old people have so many diseases we can yeah the biggest one is age okay but like you've heard of lumbago but what about what is lumbago what's lumbago i don't i don't know i lumbago these nuts what is that i got him wait it's lumbago bad what

is lumbago i got him he fell for it fell for it i can't believe you fell for the billy severe low back pain what are you talking about what are you i can't believe you fell for it you looked it up you fell for it how is that falling for it what are you talking about the prank is making you waste time by making you look it up it's a great prank try it on all your friend what it's a great prank kind of got owned billy you make them think that they got owned to the point where like they go and look up the thing and then they find out that they're not owned that's the own it's double oh that's a classic gotcha prank you're welcome try it on your friends the classic gotcha prank is when you lie yeah why is every prank with you every time you do a prank you're just like oh dude i fucking lie that's not a fucking prank that's a lie oh my god i just checked my phone and i saw the news

um yeah what's up sonic the hedgehog died i fucking wish i was gonna ask if if uh if you're going to the the the convention this year the the socon convention. What's the SoCon convention? Oh, Southern Conference? An athletic conference? Hosted by the NCAA? Wow. No, I won't be going. How awful this episode is.

Why can't we just have a normal episode where we just start when I tell my fucking awesome story about hiding farts? I can't believe you've been hiding farts. That's freaking epic. Yeah, I don't fucking know. Okay, fuck you, man. You do better.

I didn't mean that as sarcastic. That came off as sarcastic, but I didn't mean that. I did genuinely say that is pretty epic. Do any PST episodes contain farts? Yes. There's been a lot that I'm in. I mean, I mean, I mean. I've been hiding farts every yes uh there's been a lot that i'm in i mean i mean i mean we i mean i've been hiding farts every time i come on

ed literally screams at me during the recording and just goes like billy hide this fart and then he just starts fucking ripping and i and it's so loud that i just need to fucking mute it because he just does it while he's muted over like Mandy talking or some shit. I can't believe you put the microphone so far up there. It looks like the Death Stranding baby. Remember that one time he shit himself like on webcam? That was a good day. That was a really long time ago, but he definitely did it.

I can't. Dude, I'll never forget the waddle back to the fucking chair that was awful from throne to throne i have hidden like the the because it's not it's not just a fart it's specifically the nerf this diva fart like the the one where it's that it's that one i feel like everyone watching probably knows the one and if they don't they can they can look it up yeah i've seen the fucking original video and it's really not it's not as funny because you can you can tell that it's for a different like demo brap fic like demo thought it's not as funny when it's like clearly meant to be sexy is that what oh it's like yeah it's like a fucking fart fetish video on youtube and some dudes in the comments are just like holy fuck

like just going fucking crazy hog wild for it and it's not as funny when you watch it with context because of it it's way funnier when you watch it out of context. Either way, I have hidden it in Perilous Storytelling, specifically when we... I think it was when we were fighting a golem, like a giant rock golem. It was one of the last episodes to come out. Oh, you know the nerf this video?

The fart was added in post, right? Yeah. Yeah, because the original... It was just a weird fetish content. Yeah, okay. That's what I said. I was paying attention, but i was also not paying attention and my brain stopped working i was like is that fair that's what i said no it's real that it sounds like shit well it's edited is i guess like well not that one but the original one you guys ever seen two girls one cup yeah i have not i am i i had this fucking blast from the past recently where i was just thinking about how insanely prevalent that video was and like it's just crazy to me how popular that video got my first experience with that video was at my college

in the game design lab i had two friends they were like, hey, Brendan, we're hanging out in the computer lab. Come in. And they led me into the computer lab and we were hanging out watching funny videos. And then they both looked at each other mischievously. This is my friends Abe and Andreas. And they ran out of the computer lab, locked the door, and then fucking had started playing two girls, one cup. Just pause the video yeah but i was scared you were scared

wait do you do you guys uh remember this website where um i remember watching it back when i was like fucking in intermediate or i guess middle school in america is it was it pain olympics is the one where like you where you click through. It was either going to show you something cute, something funny, or something really fucked up. Sorry? I think it was a subreddit, 50-50.

Yeah, 50-50. Oh, Reddit 50-50. But there was a website. I swear it was a website. What's that one where it's higher or lower? Or whatever. It looked like that. Up it's, like, higher or lower or whatever? It looked like that. Up or down.

Yeah, up or down. Yeah. It was like that, but, dude, I saw so much just, like, it was just always WikiLeaks shit. Oh, always. Just, like, you're 11, you're, like, watching this dude, like, with fucking half his face missing. You're like, what am I doing here? Then the next one's just the cat. You're like, oh fucking half his face missing. You're like, what am I doing here? Then the next one's just the cat. You're like, oh, nice. What we used to do when I was 18,

so I could start drinking, we had this drinking game where we would do that, like the fucking Reddit 50-50. And when it was something fucked up, we would drink. We would, like, take a shot. What a fucking stupid-ass game. That's like the same energy of, like, dude, we're all hanging out. Let me put on some porn.

No, I mean, I don't know. Hey, we're just chilling. I'm just going to put some hardcore porn up on the TV. Boys will be boys. Boys will be boys. Boys will be watching prostate punching and clitoris clenching. I had a roommate who did that freshman year. He was like adamant

being like i have always wanted to like watch porn in the living room just do it then i don't know that's not that crazy well no it was my tv what what is it what does that have to do with anything dear he wanted to watch porn on my tv and i'm like no dude this is the family amazon account like oh so, who cares? What are you watching porn on Amazon for? Amazon has porn? My roommate wanted to. Wait, Prime has Amazon on porn?

Yeah, it's like really hot stuff in the factory. Yeah, you just go to Twitch and you filter by hot subs. I just finished my 12-hour shift, but I can't go home. My Nick shift starts in two hours. Do you want to come to the meditation booth with me? Sure.

Yeah, meditation booth. That's what they call it. Ha ha. I mean, it doesn't... I don't think it's that bad. I used to... When I was a... When did the Wii come out?

I don't fucking remember, but I remember we got a Wii. Yeah, we got a Wii, and me and my friends were like, dude, check this out. You can browse the internet with a Wii. And then we just went on fucking Pornhub. And we were like, no way, breasts. Back in high school, we had the Wii in the living room. And one day I come down. You did the same thing?

No, I came downstairs. This is odd. No. I would have been 15, 16. It was like 3 a.m. And I come downstairs. And my little brother had somehow found the web browser and was looking at big boobs porn on the

Wii on the big TV down there at 3 o'clock in the morning. 3 a.m. I mean, 3 a.m. is prime porno time. I just had to be like, hey, bud, what are you doing? Play Black Ops. Play Black Ops. Why would you? Dude, I don't know,

man. If I caught like any of my siblings watching porn, I wouldn't even, I wouldn't say a thing. I would just like, I would just realize what's happening and I would just immediately fucking back away and go back. Yeah, I'm too. I would do the same thing. I fucking. Brendan, you're the weird one.

I suck at porn. No, I'm just like. Any opportunity to fuck with my family is an opportunity. I was about to say, you're in the powerful position of permanently scarring them. You have that opportunity. Oh, I guess it is powerful. No, when we were little kids...

They're never going to forget this moment. When we were little and we used to live in an apartment, cars would backfire and I'd tell them they were gunshots and people were coming to get them. That's different, Brendan. That's just fucked up. I don't know. I was like a third grader i was like i fucking that's you're just doing trauma i was i was mad because i had to sleep on the floor and he got to sleep on the pullout couch with my mom and i slept on the floor of this apartment and so i was just mad so i just i i was just like i'm so fucking mad i'm gonna tell him that they're

coming to get him hey the song playing in the background is my new track Lurgaf Bay Tackle. Do you get it? It's LGBT. It's for the video game Cryptid Crush, which is a tabletop RPG-inspired monster visual novel with dice rolling, turn-based combat, and several ghoulish singles to romance. Cryptid Crush features a dice-based system where on top of the choices you can make, events can unfold based on dice rolls. There are several combat encounters throughout the game that evoke tabletop RPG combat with visual novel theatrics. The game will feature at least

five dating options, from the Mothman, the Jersey Devil Jamie, the Werewolf August, the Sea Monster Tessie, the Green Ghoul Madhouse Mike, and potential for more in the future. You can find my new song on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, like pretty much anywhere you can find or listen to music. Bandcamp too, I guess. And

you can check out the game on itch.io and cryptidcrush.com Should I pull something out? Go for it just pipe bomb me oh you want the pipe bomb story just pipe on me brendan i like you you've literally what do you mean you don't know i i will tell the pipe bomb story but i don't know if you're ready for it oh boy when i was a kid i lived on a farm with my brother and my dad for around four to five years and my dad as you probably know if

you listen to the podcast is an insane person a crazy person yeah uh he used to deal sell methamphetamine he used to make methamphetamine on the farm just an all-around horrible experience for a young child me my favorite thing ever is uh when it comes to you and me we're like that one meme that's been going around with the the two ducks and one is like fuck you and the other is shit except we're like instead of being the fuck you brothers we're the trauma brothers different flavors of parental trauma but still similar yeah mine's dead though so it's fine ah when i was a kid and we like moved out of our dads um my dad was like arrested and there was like a reason he was arrested so he had basically a fortress in his house probably around 50 to 60 illegal firearms like bolted

well like 50 to 60 i'd have to pull up the news article i can't i mean that that's still fucking crazy yeah how i'm just trying to fathom how the fuck do you hide that he didn't hide it his bedroom was an armory and they were all like just there on the wall like as a kid i could just go and grab a gun and just start firing it if i wanted to god america is so fucking cool i got in trouble once uh because he kept he kept a pistol in almost every cupboard of the house uh because i don't know he thought he was like in a john woo movie or something while he was on meth I guess the meth thing sorry to like interject that shit's so stupid

because like you're just giving weapons to your home invaders like you can realistically hold two weapons right? you can realistically hold two pistols maybe four if you got like fucking monkey feet or some shit but like the rest of them yeah they're like they're just homo evader just like it's like fucking trying to steal shit and they find a gun and it's probably loaded

like brendan's dad has monkey's feet he just walks around he just fucking runs around with fucking well like i got a kid um because I went into one of the cupboards because a weird thing about my dad is he was obsessed with chocolate, but he would do everything and anything to hide it from me and my brother because sometimes it was the only food in the house. So he would go and hide it in the highest cupboards,

hide it anywhere in the home so that we couldn't get to it. But he'd go to the fucking Walmart or something and buy a bunch of snacks for himself and then fucking hide them around the house in discreet drop locations just for himself. One day I got up into the cupboard in the kitchen. I was hungry and

I found like a bunch of I don't know what they were. I think not hoes the what are the what are the what are the things with like the white spiral on them ding dongs. Hostess cakes zebra cakes. They had like the chocolate cakes with like the white spiral on them. Dude, this is so

beyond me, dude. I have no fucking idea. Anyway, there were snack cakes. Right next to the snack cakes was a loaded pistol, and I grabbed it, and I just started running around the house going pew-pew with it. What the fucking hell? And I got in a lot

of trouble. I got my ass beat. Anyway, the pipe pops loaded it was fully loaded safety off dude what the fuck the trigger i would have fired it crazy he never he never kept the safety on most of his weapons um i mean it's one thing safety was like loaded like if there's no safety but it's not loaded i guess it's not as bad gun safety you should always treat every gun as loaded always yeah and also you should fucking know what am i a gun guy and all in like one spot not just fucking sprinkled on your house okay okay virtue signaling okay anyway on to the on to the pipe bomb aspect of this story um yeah my my father had a rivalry with the county sheriffs they didn't want

they couldn't arrest him or get a warrant to like search his house it's a good rivalry to have but the the the cops in the area would fuck with my family even my family members who were not like assholes or criminals they would fuck with all of us they would fuck with them yeah i mean that sounds like a car their cars um yeah cops would like figure out like where my mom was working and like half harass her uh harass like my dad's girlfriends harass my grandparents just because like i they just i really hated my dad which i get because my dad was a lot of he was definitely a guy um but like it transferred over a little bit into our whole family anyway they had fucked with my dad a little bit too much one day and he threatened to pipe bomb them. Immediately,

they arrested him, went to his house. This is after, right after me and my brother got pulled out of his house. They found detonating cord, gunpowder, and casings.

Oh, he was not joking. He was actually in a... That fucked up thing though. He only had gunpowder and detonating cord because he had borrowed it from my mom's dad,

my grandpa, because he wanted to reload his guns. The detonating cord was for fireworks because he was obsessed. The casings, I don't know what those were for. Those were probably for something dubious like that. But that's why he got arrested is he got arrested for that. And they searched his home and they seized 50 to 60 weapons. You can still find a news article about this. But that was like an insane moment in the arc of me getting

out of my dad's to go live with my mom. And I still remember being in foster care and having to go visit my dad in prison with my grandma and being like, how's it going, dad? I got a 1980s bottle of Coca-Cola from a rest stop. That's pretty cool, dad. Man, if I

was writing the news article about this, I be like meth guy fox strikes again i can try to pull i can try to put it in general meth guy fuck that's fucking insane though holy shit yeah it's not even like that's not i just i just can't fathom the amount of money in like 60 firearms well so like when the when the cops went through the house, some of the firearms, like it still was a lot, but some of them were like me and my brother's BB gun. They were classifying everything. Like they basically stole our BB guns and put them in the evidence locker.

Oh, okay. I mean, I bet they didn't even use them. My dad had his right to bear arms taken away when I was like really, really little because of like a domestic incident. So he wasn't allowed to have any guns because he had been like already in the system. You know what? I think your dad might be a little bit of like a domestic incident so he wasn't allowed to have any guns because he had been like already in the system you know what I think your dad might be a

little bit of a jerk I found his twitter the other day and his twitter description is I have six kids and they all hate me are you serious that's kind of funny that's kind of funny I have six kids and they all hate me and then the next sentence is like I'm a very intelligent

man stop you're fucking kidding I'm a very intelligent man. Stop. You're fucking kidding. I'm not fucking with you. You're lying. You are lying. I will post my dad's Twitter one second. I will post it in general. No fucking way.

I know what your dad looks like. So you can literally not fuck with me. Yeah. He's still selling? I thought he was in prison. My dad? I mean, wasn't he? Oh, like he was.

I don't think he's right now. Oh, he got out? Well, he got out a while ago from the last time he was in prison. The last update I got on my dad was from my grandma. Dad update, about a year ago.

What the fuck? He does. It does say, I am very intelligent. I have five children. My kids hate me. He only follows PlayStation and Elon Musk. Did I not talk about the time I tried to do Vault of Glass with my dad because I was trying to ruin the relationship?

God, that's so fucking funny. Vault of Glass. The bio is so funny. Imagine me, like years of trauma, trying to repair the relationship with my father at 22 years old, and my dad is calling me the F slur over comms because I keep fucking up Vault of Glass. On Destiny, dude.

Oh my god. I'm fucking losing. The bio is insane. I have five children. I was a lost soul. My kids hate me. Last, last, like, I'm his oldest like last update on my dad that i got was that he was like helping two older people and he went to their homes and they were both like dead and i think he was just selling them drugs like i actually actually absolutely insane uh if if i hate him i hate his guts but like if he ever wrote a book it would

sell a million copies because he just like just crazy crazy people stories just a psycho he would go outside and spray the fucking forest with an uzi he would shoot at planes he would fucking take a laser pointer like a military he would take a military laser pointer and point it at planes that were flying over the farm no dude no come on when i was like in fourth grade he put me on the four-wheeler and like turn it on and set it loose down the road that's the funniest thing because it's like walter white causing a plane crash but like actively trying to it's fucking iowa every every time i think about how bad i had it i you just say something and i'm like oh my i don't i don't talk about my childhood as much anymore because i used to talk about it

as like a coping mechanism and like i'm mostly over it now but like sometimes i get like hit with it flashback style and i'm like oh fuck that happened yeah it's weird because i'm i'm like the opposite i like i i kind of kept it all in. And then the moment he killed himself, I immediately was like, I kind of had to face it and started talking about it with all my family members.

And all of them were like, oh yeah, no, your dad was an awful person. That's why nobody talked to him. And it felt vindicating on such a different level. And basically I'm gay because of him and i'm gonna cry that's i don't know if that's how that works but yeah that's i've literally i've literally seen like so many posts and that's exactly how it works if you have trauma and daddy issues

you like men i've heard this i've seen this half and half half and half oh yeah that'd be for real for real if trauma was linked with fucking being gay or not i would be bi and you would be just the fruitiest cake the fucking fruitiest cake in the basket i don't like i don't know like for me at least a lot of this stuff i think in my early 20s i i was really going through it rough style um yeah like and i still every once in a while i'll still have like a horrible nightmare but most of the time like i'm over it i've grown past it piece of shit don't need a relationship with them like it's yeah it's it's nothing like you know i get that you can you can you can kind of move on like i i don't know for some reason for me at least it was better to not hold on to any of it and just like, let it out as often as possible.

And that's like how I fucking got through it. Um, but like, I, I, I still got problems. Like I'm a flincher. I flinch really hard.

You're kind of your dad dealt over Rachel. I, I fucking dude. Imagine, imagine having my dad and then selling him the destiny one collector's edition PS4 while you worked at gamestop like imagine that that's the experience i had you've told that story like three times i have you have fucking old man brain you're like boomer

core fuck man i swear he's in my head i tell the same story i know the thing is you tell them so often that they like cancel out you know how like friend of a friend of my friend is my friend of my enemy is my friend no in enemy of my enemy enemy friend of my enemy is my enemy oh my god enemy of my enemy is my friend that is sharing one brain cell what are you guys doing a friend of my enemy is my enemy an enemy of the enemy of the enemy is my friend an enemy of the no the friend of my enemy is I have never heard that before

enemies got a lot of enemies if your enemy has a friend then he's your enemy as well I think it's an enemy of my enemy is my friend yeah it is definitely but that's not what i said yeah i know yeah i know but i don't think what you're saying is a is a is a saying i don't even know what i was saying i'm gonna be honest i can't even remember what we're talking

about we'll burn that bridge when we get there we'll enemy of my enemy when we become friends. When we get there. Yeah. Do you want me to talk about China? Oh, China! Yeah, you did. Yeah. Dude, tell us about China. You actually had one of my dream vacations actually, and I'm jealous. I thought you were going to go on a political rant. I mean...

The only places I went to were Suzhou, Beijing, Shanghai, dude this place called mogenshan gotcha those are the places i went i traveled mostly by high-speed rail which was sick that's one thing i'm always fucking jealous of with like europe and asia have such good like rail systems and just like buses whatever it's actually bullshit oh it's their infrastructure in the way that it's set up is just like it's just so much better than any other country i've been to where specifically china well yeah that's the only asian country i oh i've been to um singapore but that's basically like a giant city um oh okay but uh but yeah specifically china

i would say it's bit it's better than like the uk i i used to like idolize because of its train system but holy shit china's is so much fucking better like just in terms of price and also like efficiency and speed it's like ridiculous actually like just because we're on the fucking we're talking about fucking transit systems i had a change of heart with the new york system recently i i mean i still have my issues but the new york city like transit is so cheap now and you can pay with your credit card instead of getting like that you you don't even need to get a a metro card anymore you can just fucking use your phone that has your credit card on it and just scan it yeah like with google pay so good that's so useful and the transfers work as well dude that was life-changing honestly it's so good

if you've ever been to asia um you'll know aboutipay or WeChat, which is what they use in China. Because it's literally basically a cashless society now over there. And they don't even use cards or anything. They just have apps that have your credit card information on it. But it's just got every single app you could think of wanting to spend money on is within this as like sub apps so you just like get like like your uber which is called dd your like delivery service trains buses everything is just all on this one app and you can just fucking scan you don't need tickets or anything you just like go to the fucking turnstile scan in and then you walk through and it's straight up sent to get on the um the metro at least in shanghai it was like

which is nuts to me it's crazy but anyway i i was i was over there uh visiting my brother and uh basically uh like i did a lot of traveling and like hanging her out but the majority of the time we were uh drinking which was a very very fun experience to do in china i'm actually curious how cheap is it in china my god billy it is so fucking cheap it's it's like legit one of my dream locations is China. It's so pretty and just food is so cheap and good. Yeah, no, it's, it's,

it's pretty, it's pretty nuts. I would say it's also a lot easier to go to China now than it has ever been. It's like, um, cause obviously previously they had like relatively closed borders and stuff like that. But now it's like genuinely one of the easiest,

uh, border. Like, I mean the, the setup for it was like pretty uh is a lot more setup than you would have to for like getting a visa and stuff like that than any other country but actually their border process is probably one of the most like easiest ones i've been through way easier than going into america i thought you were gonna say like i'm not surprised because of airplanes it's easier to get there now oh that too that's helped so we're in beijing and yes we were just like hanging out we just spent the day like we did like 20ks walking around um just like seeing seeing the stuff walked around tiananmen square um went like to

uh they call them hutong wait you went where which are uh tiananmen square what is that you can say tiananmen square you just can't say anything happened there oh okay okay yeah no you're right you're right what happened did you not wait what do you mean what happened there you know it's a place right what happened there like what happened uh i can't remember someone without a tank um guy was just getting groceries. Yeah, he was just getting groceries. Something like that. Something like that. But, so we walked around there.

You couldn't go in for whatever reason. There was, like, police everywhere. And they were like, you went up to them and they were like, you need a ticket. There was probably somebody else trying to get groceries. But we were, like, walking around, seeing the hutongs went through like the gardens uh i i i don't think we went to the forbidden city but um it was it was really sick though there was like it was it was really pretty like all of the architecture and stuff like that like historic and then the hutongs were like it's just like like street food for like as far as you can fucking see oh and just like all different kinds uh i had fucking the most delicious like

like everything's fucking spicy shit as well which is sick um oh i would die yeah there's like a we had this like fucking there's just like this waffle place as well that was just like outside it was sick like any kind of food that you can imagine you can probably get yeah um are you talking about those like uh those waffle those waffle cones yeah waffle cone and oh dude it was like a Chinese waffle cones are insane and it and it had like churros like in it instead of like you know how you'd have like a flake or something in your ice cream it like had churros instead um but yeah we're walking around and then we're like all right we're gonna go drink at a bar or whatever so we go to this bar it was it was pretty sick had a pool table and uh my brother explained to me that it was uh like we we came at the right time because

it was like a free flow a free flow so i've never experienced this because I don't think it exists in New Zealand unless it's incredibly expensive. But basically we paid, I think, around like $40 or something like that. No, what would it be American? $20 American, I think. That's insane. For basically the next- Are you talking, wait, New Zealand dollars? Like $40? So $40 New Zealand, but probably like $20, I think. That's insane. For basically the next... Wait, New Zealand dollars?

Like $40? $40 New Zealand, but probably like $20, $25 American. It would be around $40... It would be around $30 US, because New Zealand and Canadian are pretty close. Oh, really? Okay. Around that... $30 is

still not bad. For the next three hours, we could drink as much as we liked. What? Oh, my God. Basically, I had maybe a new rum and coke every five to ten minutes. And it was shitty. It was a shitty rum and Coke for sure. But I could definitely,

it was not a weak rum and Coke. Oh my God, dude. So we're just sitting there playing pool with these like random, I think they're like Chinese students. Like one of them was a guy who had just been studying over in America. So his English was actually really good. And then the rest of his friends could not speak like any.

But we're just like hanging out with them, chilling. One guy was just like what he would do. His friend was translating for him for most of the time. And I'm just getting like shit-faced. His friend is like translating for him most of the time. And then his friend just got really fucking sick of translating for him and he just wanted to like go drink and play pool yeah so he's so he's just like comes up next to me and starts typing things out on fucking google translate and then like showing the phone to my

face and and like it got to the point where he's just like complaining about his fuck he's like really down bad about his girlfriend that had just broken up with him. Oh my god. And I'm like sitting there drunk out of my mind giving him advice like yeah fuck Shbro, fuck her man like And I'm like I'm watching Google Translate dude I'm on Google Translate and he like put his arm around me. Dude and this guy

got incredibly fucked up as well and his friends just like left him and like we said to his friends before we were leaving like hey man you guys can't leave him like he's fucked and he's just like lying there like the fucking sofa of the bar we're also fucking shit-faced and they're like nah he'll be fine and just fucked off like oh my god those are sauce so uh was his name shout him out right now you think i remember like yeah dude i would i would not remember i i gotta be honest you told me fucking five

five minutes ten minutes and a new fucking rum and coke shows up nah man dude i don't remember anything i would finish my drink i would would put it onto the fucking counter. And the guy would just literally. Just immediately fill it back up. And stand it next to me. And I'm like this is fucked. This is so fucked. Because New Zealand has a massive.

Binge drinking culture. Especially in my city. It would ruin our entire country like that's what i'm that's how i was gonna say it like in canada you fucking there was a place called uh i don't know if that still exists in montreal but it was called that's a good one and you could get on i can't remember which day you could get the shittiest beer for a dollar and it was so popular and it was just not like people would just go in just put ten dollars and say i am reserving 10 beers and it that and i that's already a lot i can't like i can't even imagine three hours of like any booze um i think

we had like a we had like a menu we could select for from for the for the free flow but we just like stuck with rum and cokes because i was like at this point i was like aware as like i shouldn't be mixing alcohol like i shouldn't start drinking beer now or something like that because then i'm just gonna fucking end up uh puking um speaking of so we at the end of the three hours where me and my brother i'll'll call him Alan since that's his name. We're like, okay, we should start heading back in the direction of where our hotel is or whatever. So we get like a, like, I'm like fucking, at this point I'm pretty inebriated. Oh, I also, this weird cultural thing where for some reason they think if you put toilet

paper down the toilet like when you're when you're when you're shitting after like wiping if you put into the toilet it will clog the toilet and like i mean so they put it so they i went to when my brother worked and i went this is the way i found this out because i went into the to where my brother worked and I went into, this is the way I found this out. Cause I went into the toilet where my brother worked and on the like stall there, there was like a sign saying, uh, please don't flush your toilet paper, put it in the bin next to it.

It will, it will clog the toilets. And I'm like, this is the most stupid shit I've ever fucking heard of. And I just like flushed my toilet. And I asked my brother about it. He's like, yeah,

they're like weird about it. I'm like, wouldn't that stink out the place? And he's like, yeah, it fucking does when they do. And I'm like, Oh my God. And I just, like, flushed my toilet. And I asked my brother about it. He's like, yeah, they're, like, weird about it. I'm like, wouldn't that stink out the place? And he's like, yeah, it fucking does when they do. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I'm like, because they just, like, you know, it's fucking gross. Anyway, I... I mean, wouldn't it be, like, is the infrastructure not, like...

No, they're just modern. They're modern. I mean, sometimes they have the fucking squat toilets. That's why I'm like, yeah, I mean... Which are fucking fucking gross yeah they had them in france as well so i can't i mean it's fucking what i don't remember that at all in paris no no no no this is um this is uh north like country oh okay because i remember fucking um north north of france yeah like near normandy um i mean it's got a different name

i can't remember what they call them when when no but like it's like they have like a dialect and stuff like that oh uh fucking took fucking dunker uh i don't know anyway it doesn't matter i actually don't know yeah anyway um so yeah i fucking went to the toilet uh at this bar and i i was like i don't fucking give a shit put the toilet paper in the toilet and absolutely clogged the shit out of it um no you're the worst i'm drunk as fuck and i'm like oh my god they're right so anyway i left um you left yeah bro so we we uh we took the the the dd which they were there to uh basically closer back to our part of town where the hutongs are and ended up going to another bar yeah and this time it wasn't free flow but it was still incredibly cheap and we switched to bears as well here without me realizing it. Like I'm kind of I'm super shit face at this point

and I kind of just like Alan just keeps buying more and more drinks because he has like an incredible tolerance for alcohol and he just keeps putting them in front of me and I just

keep drinking them just absentmindedly Yeah, you trust You gotta give trust in your fucking siblings sometimes And he just keeps putting them in front of me. And I just keep drinking them just absentmindedly. Yeah. You got to give trust in your fucking siblings sometimes. And anyway, so I'm like sitting at this bar. And then I don't even remember how I started talking to this guy who was sitting next to me. But this guy just started talking to me. And he's just like really gay Chinese dude. Whoa. He's like. are you are you like wait he he started saying really gay chinese dude or he's like no no no no this is this gay chinese

guy oh okay talking to me sorry he's like he's like very said was he started saying gay chinese dude in my head i was just like this dude just starts gay chinese dude yeah no no no no no he's he's like uh he's like he starts talking to me about his like fruit basket like yeah yeah he's like very flamboyant in the way he talks and stuff like that good for him good for him which is like insane like i in china especially like to to oh is it is it bad like it is china yeah it's not it's not it's not a great place to be gay oh i don't know they're the place where they um they censored out the gay kiss in star wars oh that's right stuff like that's where they also censored that fucking gay bear winnie the pooh yeah well they did that because it looks

like i know i know but anyway uh he's like he starts telling me about his mixtape um that he's making he's like uh my god no fucking way this homo's got mixtape he's like he's like asking me where i'm from and stuff like that. He's like, he's like telling me about it. Cause he's like, he's like asking me where I'm from and stuff like that. And he's like, he's like, he's like,

Oh, what's the like music for your fucking like, like country and stuff. And I, I start telling him about Kapa Haka, which is like a traditional Maori, like music and, and dance and stuff like that.

And show him some videos. And he's like, Oh, I could use this. I could use this. And I'm like, so, so, and I don't know if you should use this but yeah i don't know how but i just keep drinking and we get on to like talking about politics and he cuts he starts like just

like shit talking the chinese government and like it's just like i mean he's a gay man in china i feel like he had he has his reasons yeah no for sure and he's like he's a gay man in China. I feel like he has his reasons. Yeah, no, for sure. And he's, like, he's just telling me how great Taiwan is and stuff like that. He's like, bro, I just like it. He starts showing me photos of him there and stuff like that. And it's like, whatever. And I'm just, like, progressively getting more and more shit-faced.

My bro's like, oh, we should, like, go somewhere else or whatever. And then the guy's like, oh, we should go to a, I. And then the guy's like, oh, we should go to a jazz bar that's nearby or whatever. And so we get up and we start walking to the jazz bar with this dude. And we start talking. I can't remember what we're talking about. At this point, I'm starting to lose my memory. So this is the twilight zone we're entering uh where i don't really remember everything uh i definitely remember walking there and it i remember the stairs

because i definitely almost fell down the stairs and like fucking broke my head but my brother was in front of me so i stopped so it was pretty good uh and we get there and it's just like little tiny like jazz jazz bar in this uh fucking basement thingy and it's just like little tiny, like jazz, jazz bar in this, uh, fucking basement thingy. And it has this, uh, small stage, but no one's playing, but the music's pretty good there. I think we had like, it was some cocktail and this is like pretty much the last of what I remember. It was like, I took one sip of that and I'm pretty sure the rest of the night I spent

throwing up in the toilet at the the bar while my brother just started talking to the gay guy and uh i i think i come out and i and my brother like like looks at me he's like i think you want to go back to the hotel i'm like i just like nodded him and then i on the way out i'm walking up the stairs and just fucking throw up everywhere. Oh, dude. I feel so bad because I just keep walking and it's just like, and the rest of the night is like a blur to me. And I get back to my place and I think my brother says he keeps on going because the other guy wants to keep drinking.

So he goes to another bar and like leaves me at the hotel and says, so he's like, I think, I don don't remember this but apparently he said to me like i'm gonna be back can you open the door for me and apparently i replied with yeah sure i instantly passed out so yes and at our hotel the reception lady is there the entire night she's just sleeping on a fucking couch in the reception area oh so my brother has to wake her up to get her to open the door for for uh for our place because i'm fucking passed out oh my god important context as well for this we had planned to walk the great wall the next day at um nine o'clock in the morning fuck that ain't happening after we had booked a driver for it so we wake up at 9 30 uh and my brother's just like shakes

he's like and we're both groggy as shit and he goes we have to go and i'm like what it's like we're already late the driver's waiting down for us. Get changed. We're going. And I'm like, oh my fucking God. My head's like a fucking drum. I just like quickly get changed and go down to the car. And I'm like tired as shit. And it's a two hour drive to the Great Wall. And we're like. Sleep, man.

Yeah, that's what I tried doing. But my head fucking hurt oh no that sucks seeing something as grandiose and fucking like revered as a fucking great wall and you just shit like just feeling the effects of being shit face the day before that's awful dude oh yeah the car ride there sucked um i also felt like i needed to throw up maybe 20 minutes into the car ride there and i was like okay i can hold it i'll wait until we're done or maybe you'll go away and then like i want to say maybe like 30 minutes later i was like oh my fucking god i'm about to throw up all over this fucking driver's car. So I had to ask him for a fucking plastic bag.

And this guy, his English was not very good. And my brother's Chinese was also not very good. So I had to explain that I was going to throw up to him and that I needed something to throw up to. And while I needed to throw up, not being able to speak, like, any Chinese or him be able to understand what I was saying, he managed to figure it out and passed me a plastic bag, like, just in time. So, like, for the next fucking hour, I'm, like, sitting in the car with this fucking bag of vomit tied beneath my feet no oh no it was so bad bro i would feel dude i i've done that in the past just like throwing up in like somebody's car and just the entire time the only like the only thing you can think about is just how bad you feel for having done that yeah oh you never did spray and pray?

What the fuck are you talking about? When I was like in sixth grade, I was in a car trip with my grandparents and I was feeling ill. My grandpa just told me to roll down the window and I just fucking vomited out of the window. It like sprayed back on one of the cars behind us too. We just kept going. Yeah. I did that before while I was driving. Oh, wait, why you were, while you were driving?

I was driving to my brother's wedding. Dude, it's like a twisted metal weapon. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why were you sick? I was hung over as shit. Fuck, dude, no. And I'm driving there and I'm almost there. i'm like i'm i can't make it i'm throwing up now and i was on a country road and i was surrounded by cars there was no place i could

pull off and so i just was like fuck it i'm gonna throw up out the window so i threw up out the window while i was driving i pulled out how do you how can you pay attention while throwing up cruise control i pull up and it was like a it was like a country wedding and so when i pull up it's my mom and like all of my mom's friends just standing in a field oh my god your car's so streaking down the side of my car that's that that is why i didn't want to spray him parade because his car was, like, nice that we were in, and he's a professional driver, like, that's his fucking job. And I was like, I would feel like the fucking worst person ever if I got it literally anywhere on his car. Oh, dude, I feel bad just, like, throwing up in the presence of somebody else.

Oh, yeah, I felt, it was the most embarrassed I've fucking been in a while like i felt just utter shame luckily the guy he just laughed it off because i didn't get any on his car or anything like that he just thought it was fucking funny and even then like he knows that at the end of the day you're just gonna bring your bag with you yeah well i got out of the car at the fucking car park and he just points to the fucking forest next to it and and like Points to my bag and my bro's like, yeah, you should chuck it in there I'm like what what like into the fucking way and I'm like, I was like, isn't that fucking bad? And he's like, no, it's fine. And then the drives like yeah do it and I'm like, oh fuck It was so much cooler if you threw it off the wall

If you go to a section of the wall the great wall in china you can probably find outside the parking lot in like a little forest there there will be a bag of my vomit and you can go and you can go and clone me if you want free vomit there's a big bag full of nickelodeon slime out there you better gack it up oh god i'm gonna vomit what the fuck that's don't say gack it up gack it up babe don't don't gack ain't whack gack is back i will say the fucking great wall uh of all the tourist places i've been to this is the one that has probably lived up to and exceeded my expectations. Like it is the scale of it is fucking insane.

You cannot see the end of it like at all. Oh yeah. Cause it's fucking ridiculous. And it, it, it does the entire fucking country. Oh God. Where's. Yeah. Well, not the height.

It's like thousands of kilometers though yeah um but oh my god the we we went in this fucking gondola to go up it and it was the most rickety ass fucking gondola i me and my brother uh my brother just before we got on it he asked the lady that was like there he was like can this hold like more than we probably like weigh like around 200 kgs both of us combined like can it hold it and she literally just looked at us and shrugged and then we got on just like hey i guess you crackers can make it and by but and the thing is this like creaking the entire way up and it fucking it was like i could see bits of fucking rust and it was the single cable as well and i was just thinking like this is the like holy fuck if we like you're gonna get final

destination yeah i was straight up i was like i was like i don't know what scares me more because it was like it was like 40 degrees um celsius i don't. What is that in Fahrenheit? 40? Like. No way. That's insane. It was like 39, something like that, maybe. That's fucking crazy. Oh, yeah.

It was hot as fuck. 30. Okay. Okay. 39 degrees Celsius is like fucking 102. Yeah, it was. That's insanely hot. It was hot as fuck. And this thing just had like placey glass and it was like

fucking cooking up um while we're like hung over shit so like we're not we haven't even started walking yet and we're sweating um i'm surprised you didn't puke again it's like the worst fucking feeling is being overheated when you're hung over as shit it's like being in a fucking sauna it says a lot that you still had a good time at that fucking, at the Great Wall, even after. Oh, I, no, I wouldn't, I would describe it as a grueling time, but it was definitely a spectacle. Oh, it was, it was still, like, fucking awful. Oh, yeah, because it's just, they didn't, it's not like it's a straight fucking wall that they built. Like, it's, it's like, it's in a mountainous area and it goes up and it goes

fucking down so it's like you're either on a steep incline or decline there's very small sections of the wall that are actually like flat okay i get what you mean and there is like no covering from the sun as well apart from at the turrets which are each like spaced out by at least like 200 300 meters so the and you're you're on these fucking inclines and the sun's just beating down on you luckily the sun in china is not very strong uh they've got like fucking good ozone there or whatever so it didn't get sunburned but holy shit it was the most like a four hour walk after you've just been like incredibly hung over and yeah just in the heat, it was awful. But it was sick. It was awful. Have I ever

told the story about when I threw up all over the dentist and she started crying? I don't think so. I thought I had. You might have. I might not have been there. You puked on your dentist? That's what they get for trying to talk to me while my mouth is

open. Fucking freaks. she like box with your fucking thing uvula oh i thought you were gonna say molars like molar boxing yeah molar box in this corner we have a fucking 280 pound bicuspid in this corner we have a molar. Who wins? Who won? You decide. Epic beef battles in history. Oh, shit. No, I was getting my braces. And so before I got my braces, I was like, oh, my God. You totally missed a chance to say brace yourself for this one, fellas. Oh.

You totally missed your chance. I get it, though, because I remember getting my braces. And I remember there was a specific time while she was making the mold for the teeth where i was like on the edge it's so hard well like before i got my braces i was like for my last meal without braces for like two years i want to eat something good so i ate a shit ton of pizza rolls just like no fucking whole bag of tostito pizza rolls and then then I go in and they're going to do the mold. And she's like, just a warning, just a warning. It's going to feel like it's going down your throat. It's not. And I was like, okay, I'm going to let you know now I have like a really, really, really bad gag reflex. Like I throw up all the time. And she's like, no, everyone says that like, it's fine.

And I was like no i i i throw up at like the thought of a bad smell and then she just starts laughing and they put the fucking thing in your mouth to where you it holds your mouth open yeah she puts in the the fucking second that that gummy shit touches my fucking the back of my tongue it's so bad she's so she's got her head in there super close trying to line it up and my mouth is forced open and the second it hit the back of my tongue it was just like a streamline yeah of course you got your foot you got the fucking apparatus on your mouth you're not gonna fucking close it a streamline of uninterrupted vomit directly into her face and like all down her

shirt and she just she she goes back and she goes and then runs out of the room it's not funny it's pretty funny no she was warned she was warned and so i've been there fucking alone vomit still my mouth and my mouth i'm going i'm shy i thought you what the fuck you were you wanted to be right so bad you were like i fucking told you i i go to that dentist all the time oh for real is she still there that was the only time i ever saw her oh my god dude she probably quit right when she started and i think after that she was like fuck this shit i am done dude that's what my sister did actually and i she did like a few weeks and she was like that shit is so nasty I never want to think or like think about teeth again.

She was like talking about because she was doing stuff at a because it was like a college where people would go there and like get their teeth checked by students and with teachers. And they would be. Yeah, it's basically like an internship, I guess. I don't know how to describe it. And she told me that she has seen the worst of humanity there and i fucking believe her i just i just remembered another part of the story as well apparently uh this is no this is before the wolf can i can i pee real quick because i've just been like doing the dance can i oh wait i can pee i want to pee i want to pee i want to

i'll be right back oh i'll tell a story about this one time I was getting groceries and I was crossing the street and there was just a tank there. And so I just stopped. I just stopped and started staring at the tanks. They were actually really chill. They were really chill about it. They were really chill about it? Yeah, they gave me a ride home. Oh, that's pretty nice.

Yeah, it was fun. It was like the other night I was at the bar and I was drinking with some people and this guy was like oh yeah like two weekends ago I got to ride the back of a cop car it was super cool and I was like oh that's awesome like how and my friend was like wait you got to ride in the back of a cop car

or you had to he goes oh I had to I was arrested Brendan I'm glad that we both learned to synchronize our potty time It's like when girls synchronize their periods

It's exactly like that That's what I'm talking about That's what I'm talking about It's exactly like that I'm going to tellby you said that she's gonna be real about women that's not true what do you mean billy's talking shit about women no i'm not you can that's the thing is i'll be yelled from down the stairs i can tell you it's like it's like that one uh you want to tell me about women's anatomy you know what you're right

i give up this is not i'm not gonna win i'm not gonna win this one um anyway the thing i do river it's just like a small little anecdote to add onto the story i remember what the gay guy's name was called now it was uh his name was was Wilson. Cause we were just like, we were like yelling Wilson, like out, out in the street when we were walking to the next bar or whatever. It was, it was fun.

But, uh, after I passed out and they went to another bar, apparently he just started hitting on my brother. And my brother wanted to like, I, he was also very drunk. he was his thinking was all right what's the best way to get this guy to stop hitting on me instead of saying something like

i'm not gay or you know like i'm not interested he was like all right i'm gonna start telling him about my disgusting feet so what no no no oh no no he starts telling this guy about, like, all the calluses and gross shit he has on his feet. And then, oh my god, this is, like, foul. Apparently, Wilson said to him, he was like, I could suck the calluses off your feet if you want. Oh my god, treat his feet like crockpot chicken. Oh, suck the meat right on like dude like those like oh he's like one of those little fishes that like at those spas that just eats the fucking skin the funny thing was that my the mogensham the place that we were going has those fish

and then you just point and say hey that's Wilson that's Wilson that guy was sick though he was awesome dude you honestly honestly freaks are nice no you're sick freaks are good people I hope his mixtape is going well

I hope he's found someone's feet to suck specific like just callous i woke up and i had his instagram on my phone and then i asked my brother he's like yeah you handed him your phone and told him to put it as your instagram i'm like oh damn i'm gonna start dming him telling him'm a big time producer That's not nice That isn't nice That's a real mean thing to do No I'm going to make his dreams come true

Show him your fucking feet Tell him you work for Nickelodeon Remember when Ken Bone posted about beautiful human submarines On our pregnancy porn Speaking of beautiful human submarines Patreon questions If you're part of the $5 and above tiers, you can ask a question during the Patreon Q&A.

Awesome Source asks, if you could completely erase any one genre from any media, examples, country music, match three video games, romance films, etc. from society, which would you choose? Shut up about country. What motherfuckers are always like, I like any type of music except country and rap.

Shut up. Grow up. Fuck off. I hate that shit. If I could delete any one specific thing. Any genre. Any genre. 2D platformers. 2D platformers. You're a piece of shit. Just hear them all really fuck up the timeline. First video game that people cared about doom

actually it would be nintendo you got the fucking john carmack box it would be really funny if you implemented that like on hollow knight 2's release day just to like really fuck with it i'm about to play doom 29 on my my fucking romero sphere on the romero sphere it's the only i don't know for romero i feel like it would more be like karmac sphere the karmac cube the karmac cube the romero those are the two like console war

console yeah like xbox and playstation and they fight over who has the better schnod gun every time i boot up my romero my romero sphere, it keeps calling me a bitch. I'm sick of it.

Electro swing. I fucking hate electro swing. I can't. I don't know if I've listened to any electro swing before. Caravan Palace. Caravan Palace. Caravan Palace.

Yeah. I hate electro swing. I hate the aesthetics of it. I hate it. It's so ugly. It's great because that's, anytime you say that, it reminds me that we are the

same coin on different sides because I love Electro Swing. So it reminds me that we're on the same coin, but different sides of the coin. Oh, God, you literally reminded me to put Caravan Palace on my Spotify. Actually, I hate Caravan Palace. I genuinely can't stand Caravan Palace. I would get rid of

any RPG game, RPG games in general. That's crazy. The genius you're going to get monkey's pod and it's going to remove every game with a gun that is the rocket propelled grenade. You're going to get monkey's pod so hard. I think the only game that should be allowed to exist is CSGO. They're going to take it out. I got the RPG in there. That doesn't. Oh, I don't

know. I don't care. Real answer probably gotcha games. Funny answer. Comedy. Just all of it. Good news. Good news. Comedy's already dead. Oh, I agree. Funny answer. Comedy. Just all of it. Comedy is good news. Good news. Comedy is already dead. Oh, I agree.

Fuck comedy. Let's be serious for once. Kale asks, if you were a villager NPC in an RPG for a similar game, what would be your one line of canned dialogue when interacted with? Don't touch me. I'll come. In 1997, I killed five men. In 1997, I killed five men. In 1997, I killed five men. Like, am I in a little village?

Where am I? I don't know. What kind of NPC do you want to be? What would your dialogue be? I'd be like in a medieval town. And I haven't had one of you people around. And on the text box, the you is like in fucking like italics like you what if i was a villager in medieval and like a medieval town and i was an npc and every time a player interacts with me

all i said was those fat cats on wall street huh geez it was just that every time but it was just like i was like carrying a big piece of butter or cheese or something to the bakery big and round i don't say big and round i said big and cupular get real cubular in here i dream i i don't know why that just reminded me of i i was dreaming last night about working at a game stop and for some reason you were there and we like it was it was like uh it was like clerks but for gamers it's like somebody comes in asking for super monkey ball and you're like dude this is epic awesome and then me trying to sell them on putty squad for the ps4 instead what's putty squad was one of the first video games released on ps4 and xbox one during that dry year uh it was a remaster of an older game and i used to sell copies of it to people when the ps4 only

had like call of duty ghosts and battlefield 4 and people didn't want to play those games or like order 1886 so it's like you should check out Putty Squad. It's $20. It's great. And I was probably the leading seller of Putty Squad in my tri-state area. You were probably the only. The leading Putty Squad king. I just liked selling people on terrible games. Putty Squad, Walking Dead Survival

Instinct. I've sold probably 20 copies of Sonic 06 to people that have not been returned that were never returned. I like to set people off on a journey. I think I'd be an NPC standing outside of the Laugh Factory that looks exactly like Kramer and just say, wow, comedy really is dead.

Can't say shit anymore. The players coming in and you would just say, he's going to say it. They'd walk in, another player, he's going to say it. Walk in, another player, he's going to say it Walk in, another player, he's gonna say it. Will he say it? Coffee Chris asks,

what will be your gamer resolutions for 2022? I.e., mine is gonna be stop playing League of Legends. What are your resolutions for 2022, guys? My resolution for 2022? 1440p, You're welcome. Oh, yeah! This episode wouldn't be possible without the help from our patrons such as Alan Diver, Artevagan, Bjur, Bland But Funny, Boopooloo, Caffeine Addicted Chemist, Cheez Dreams, Christian B, Dasul Burt, Deling City, Dreams of Ice, Ducky Madness, DX Studios, Eric Scott Gillies, Ethereal, Generic Phoenix, Handsome Destiny, Hater115, John Requires Lasagna, Kawaii Boy Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you next time.