Please Stop Talking - Waffle House of the Sea (feat. MandaloreGaming & Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: May 19, 2023

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Must be legal drinking age. Howdy! We just dropped some new merch for the summer. We got two tie-dye t-shirts with embroidered art as well as a sticker of both designs. You can get them right now at PleaseStopShopping.com for $25. Hope you enjoyed this episode of Please Stop Talking. You know how everybody, as you grow older, you have different eras. Yeah. I had my hard drug era, and then I had my stoner era,

and now I'm in my fishing and gardening era. I was wondering what your eras were. I feel like Corbin didn't change, though. I feel like he's still in his Disney era and his his like paw patrol sippy cup era yeah you know i've had a very stunted development that's like that netflix show that's crazy no you're thinking of uh prisoners uh development terrible start to such a terrible start yeah never mind i'm taking it back yeah i tried to segue that was awful i wish i i tried my goddamn hardest

i dude i don't know i i don't think i even had the energy right there the energy was off yeah was it a soundboard brendan i've been using a soundboard for the last five minutes just to see have you really what is wrong with you oh God. It's so tiring to be around you. I gave you. Did you not even say clap? I did. I did. I did it earlier.

I did it earlier. I was like, okay, it's gotta be like, they got to figure it out right away. Like right into the recording. They got to figure out that I'm using a soundboard. You didn't. I mean, why would we guess that? You didn't even say anything. All you did was like, okay.

Yeah. Have, have the stuff you say will sound like a soundboard. Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. it's like i'm literally cursing you i fucking i the worst part the worst part is that you do it so fucking often when we're recording pain hole you do the same the worst part is i'm too stupid to do anything about it because i don't realize brendan there's no reason why we would doubt that you were a fucking because every time we start recording everybody's silent why would we why would we think it's a voice i was that i was actually really hoping like i could get into like full recording with just that but i was like you know no no no there's no way no the second anyone asked something too specific like it's all over yeah that wasn't the soundboard that time that was me i can't tell you like we

have to use that uh audio because i Because I want to know how the audience Picks up on that it's a soundboard I really want to know So now they're going to hear my awesome Fucking what is your era What's your treasure It's literally the fucking bit from Auntie Donna Just what's your treasure

My treasure is my family Fucking hell Oh welcome to the podcast. I fucking hate this show. Yeah. Fuck you. God, I wish that was here. Wait, did you actually sync with time?

Yeah, the audio, the clap sync is synced. I'm sure it's fine. Did you clap at the same time or did you just go clap? Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. That was me that time.

I don't know. That was my bad. I accidentally clicked on something that was me that time i don't know that was that was my bad i accidentally clicked on something that was very loud oh it was like playing educational fucking volume incredibly high volume educational volume i i went what's that article and i clicked on it because i didn't know why it was in the mail and it just went this is an educational resource like and super loud oh that's awesome i can talk about my fucking nightmares like your actual nightmares or like just a nightmare two weeks i've had oh yeah three weeks yeah you've had a busy time are you sure that's a fun story uh there's

part of the first story that is funny to me but i don't know how funny it actually is you know you know how you know how he always says that and then he'll say like dude it's like this reminds me of harry's funny story yeah oh my god reminds me of that last time we recorded megan and then he was like oh did you know somebody killed himself and everybody was like what the fuck are you talking about brendan will literally just say like i have a funny story and just talk about somebody who killed himself i just realized i haven't been a regular pst in so long there's been there's been so much movie talk i've been out of the fucking country since then jesus yeah you have no that's a story yeah what do you mean

you can't he's gotta save it for the podcast no it's such a it's such a beaver story have you ever have you ever seen a man fondling a stingray that's it that's what does that mean what do you fucking mean what do you mean have you ever seen a man fondling a sting stingray okay there's what does that even fucking be i i took a vacation out of the country for the first time and maybe yeah oh my god where'd you go again uh i went to the caribbean but there's this in the cayman islands there's a few um all over the caribbean there's some spots where they're basically docile stingrays you can visit oh oh we did that in chicago as well oh, yeah, yeah. You were there too. Yeah, we were fondling stingrays too.

No, no, no, no, no. This is like they're in the open water. They're wild stingrays. They're not like in a... In Chicago, they were in like that little... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a stingray tank. Yeah. Yeah, they're in a little tank

and then all the kids touch them and go, ah! Yeah, this is in the open ocean. Yeah. There's like a kind of underwater sandbar in a few areas. And you'll go there because like a hundred years ago, there would be fishermen who would dump out the parts of like fish they didn't want into these areas and stingrays would come up. Oh.

And then it got to the point where they were hearing the sounds of motors coming and then stingrays just come up to the boats. So they started hand feeding them. They jump in the water. And now the stingrays are like, they're like big dogs. That's it. That is so fucking strange. Yeah. So you go in the water and like stingrays just come up to you you can like pet them move around and stuff it's like a dolphin encounter but a little less aggressive so what

happened was i do have pictures of this but i'm not sure how appropriate those are to share they'll have um some people you could go out like on your own to the area and it's fine. Others, they'll have these guided tour groups where they'll have 40, 50 people on a boat and they'll come out to the area like, okay, let's all hold hands. We'll have one of our trainers to grab a stingray and put it on your face

and you kiss it for the luck and we'll sell you the pictures for like 80 bucks. You kiss the stingray? Yeah, you kiss the stingray for luck. On their mouth no no their their mouth is like kind of on the like way in the bottom of their body yeah isn't it the body they they have like a weird fucked up like they got a cute little smile yeah i don't know about cute but no when they make the thing from no no when they make you kiss the stingray they

like they cut they push it up onto you and it's basically its nose it's like right at like the front bottom of it so you're you're not getting anywhere near the mouth they're just like look kiss the stingray get the good luck it's just to get they they want to stay in the picture for 80 bucks or whatever yeah it's like it's like when they make you rub the balls of the bull yeah it's just like red dragon with the tiger so um i was getting back in the boat one of the boats i was like that was that was an all right outing but there had been a storm in the area so it was more like a wave pool so it was actually really fucking chaotic which is shocking but um i was looking out and i saw one of the trainers and he was having a certified the deep moment with a stingray oh no oh no oh no he was like he was like holding it in his arms in the

water i was like oh okay that's like oh yeah like, oh, okay. That's like, oh, yeah. Like there's a stingray. He's like having a time with it. And then he was like, he pulled his face up. I was like, oh, maybe he's like practicing like the kiss thing with it to make sure it's not freaking out. But then like he started like nuzzling his face against it. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like the guy who fucked dolphins. Remember? Do you guys remember the guy who'd fuck dolphins remember do you guys remember that guy who would fuck dolphins what what and he married a dolphin no i know about the john mackinac have you guys never heard about the guy who was super into dolphins at a like as some fucking no it was a conservatory and then he was like oh i love this dolphin i love this dolphin so much i'll fuck it didn't they make a movie about that did they i

thought there was like this lady it was called free willie i thought she'd like jack off the dolphins for some reason like for her career yeah yeah yeah i heard about that i did i did not remember the man who married a dolphin i swear there was a man who married a dolphin wait wait you say man who married a dolphin and all i can think about is john mcafee the creator of mcafee antivirus constantly talking about wanting to fuck a whale i swear there was a guy who malcolm brainer is a self-confessed zoophile who claims he had an affair with a dolphin called dolly after she seduced him you know he is okay now 68 malcolm was still a student when he embarked on a relationship with the ballina he is still in or he says that he's still in a relationship with the ball and he is still in, or he says that he's still in a relationship.

I knew it. I knew it. He's not married to, he's not married. Cause who the fuck would let him, but yeah, it was like that sort. It didn't go quite that far,

but people on my boat also started taking their cameras out because they're like, what the fuck are we seeing? No, there's another one. There's another one that fucking married a dolphin. Are there multiple dolphin marriages? Why is everybody marrying dolphins?

Why am I not included in those? Oh, wow. It's like, do you have a dorsal fin or a blowhole, David? Do you have a dorsal fin or a blowhole? There's another one. How am I finding so fucking many of these? I didn't know about the dolphin marriages. There's this woman. I didn't know about the dolphin marriages. You're finding so many dolphin marriages.

Why is that a thing? There's this woman. I can't remember her name. Is that a human? It was for some science experiment. Yeah. And they were training the dolphins. Yes. And she's like, they perform much better when I beat their meat.

Yes. That was the one I knew about. And so every day, yeah, she would go and do that to the dolphins. And she's like, they like it. It's like, yeah, they fucking like it. It's weird. So it loosens them up for the experiment she was she was allegedly doing it to get the dolphins chilled out for research that was the story i knew about that marriages i did not this is fucked up what the fuck i can't believe we're uncovering so many dolphin marriages here on

the police oh sorry the the please the porpoise stop talking porpoise sex thing the porpoise sex things here on pst this is an awful episode oh you took pictures of the dude well you could see other people have their cameras out because they're like what the fuck is happening oh he's like oh he's like oh he's like on there he's he's yeah he started like wrapping it around him and then like when the stingrays started going up and down i was like okay this is oh no no no i couldn't no no no it was getting way too weird i've never seen this before the worst part there there's a lot of people looking at this man. Yeah, because what the fuck is happening? He does not give a fuck.

I don't think he cares. I can't believe that you got to see a live recording of one of the new scenes from the next season of The Boys. You'd see another lady with her camera out because people are like, what is this? I thought you caught this man. In my head, I was like, oh, you caught a dude just like being a tad weird being a tad weird

to be fair he is on the side where there was nobody but he is on the side of the boat farther away from the center what are you talking about there's like another boat right there full of people that boat has like four people there's boats with like 30 on the other side i'm gonna be honest if i was if i was doing uh i would also fucking weird i would hide like if i if i if i had to do this stuff i don't i don't but like if i had to i would not do it in the middle of like two boats what are you gonna do bring a privacy curtain out into the ocean and to be fair like other people on the boat were already in there but i mean no but you don't need to have people that just borrow stingray was choking on like a fish bone or something and that man instinctively knew he had to rub that there's

no there's no way immediately he was like i am a veterinarian for animals in the water i know he he was doing he's like oh my god that is not all right stingray foot job was not on my list for 2023, but it is now. I've had to learn to take pictures when I see things now because it's like... You have to have evidence of it. Yes. You have to have evidence of it. No, here it is. Listen, this happened, this happened, this happened.

Here are the pictures of it. You know, the thing is, at first when you would tell me like, oh, this fucked up crazy thing happened to me, like, let's say five years ago when we met, I would have been like, the fuck are you talking about? Nowadays, you tell... The thing is, because of Chicago, I know it's real.

I just know it's real. Mandy could tell me literally anything, and I would probably implicitly trust him. Like, if Mandy told me to get and hide in my bathroom for three days, I probably would. He probably knows better than I do. Yeah, no context. I get a Discord message, 3 a.m., Brendan, into the shower right now. You need to be there for two and a half hours. No longer, no earlier. I would go, okay, immediately.

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delayed mine, but you had your get out of jail free card. I did. That's a story that I have because I'm fucking amazing. You got a, I thought you did jury duty because that's why you canceled yesterday. So, yes, but no. Let me explain. I got called in to jury

duty meaning that i had to go through the selection process when they do the selection process they randomly select people based on voter records license registration a bunch of other things they call in about 100 people and then about 50 of those 100 people usually end up showing up so 57 people go in and then out of those 57, the computer randomly then draws 20 something. And then that gets cut down during the selection process to pick six to 12 jurors for a jury. I went in and I was terrified because like my wife wasn't with me and she's my rock in situations like this. And I can't bring my wife to jury duty selection. So I was like, I have to be an adult. I have to go in there and I got to figure out how to get out of this.

I was like, I don't like being in courts and that was going to be my poll is I don't like being in courtrooms. I don't like being in courts. I was in enough of them as a kid. I don't like being there. So I go in. We have to watch this 20 minute video. A dude sits next to me and I

know this dude too. Like they randomly picked somebody that I knew and it's because he's the manager at a vape store I go to. Oh, my God. He's like, hey, man, weird seeing you here. I'm like, yeah, man, all right, cool. All right. So we sit there, we watch this movie, and then we go up. And during the questionnaire, I put in drug any of have you or any of your family members

or somebody close to you been charged with something and they call me into the courtroom by myself to like informally ask me about this and i'm like i was never charged with drugs my parents were it's just it just makes me uncomfortable and the judge is like all right all right okay okay sends me back out i come back in there's 57 people 26 people get called up i'm one of the 26 so like my ass is on the line like they are probably going to pick me they're going through like the questions uh the there is the prosecutor the defending lawyer and the defendant which i didn't know was the thing in a lot of criminal cases is the defendant could be there for jury selection and i didn't learn unusual about the case at all because like they

don't tell you anything about the case until you get further in and into yeah you have to actually get selected yeah so i i didn't know anything about the case i will say that the the the defending lawyer looked like an uruk-hai from lord of the rings to explain this is he was like a 75 year old man with bulging bulbous eyes and like he he kind of looked like either an uruk-hai orc or rango from the from like just a lizard from rango like the little lizard guy he was yeah no one should remember rango i swear to god i was genuinely afraid that he was going to start flicking his tongue out into the air to acquire smells see if you're lying yeah like you need to be dismissed um i'm i'm called up they're asking questions they're asking hey do you know anybody on these on the witness list do you know

anybody that we're talking about do you know the uh defendant okay cool no no no no no no no part of me was like is that somebody that my dad knew because i had a feeling it was like no no no way uh to get to the question are any of you uncomfortable with law enforcement? And I raised my hand. And then they're like, oh, okay. They let this other woman go because she just raised her hand. They're like, okay, we don't need you. And I'm like, oh, because the defendant is like a 25 to 30-year-old white guy.

They're looking. They're like, they're not going gonna let me go right away so they bring me back and it's me the judge the defending uh the defendant the defendant's lawyer and the prosecutor all in a room together and i have to explain that hey i because i was a kid in the courts i just don't like being here and it makes me very uncomfortable and they're like well do you think you could be impartial in like a jury and i'm i'm like no i like no i don't like being in it here at all like this is this is just goofed up to me like i can't trust myself to do that they're like okay we'll figure it out they bring another guy back who also figured it out uh they come back out they're like mr uh hurlburt you're free to go and i was like bruh i'm out i was gonna say i'm amazed they didn't like push you out sooner unless they'd already gone through some people

at that point i didn't know that they had a whole selection for i don't know why everybody i know has been to jury duty except me i have been lucky i mean they might do it a little bit differently in canada oh maybe i don't know i mean even in my friends like i got a bunch of friends who were like oh i did jury duty it's like i've never even been fucking close to jury duty. It's like Brennan said here. They assume a lot of people won't show up and they'll start just eliminating from there. What if you were on the new hit show Jury Duty? That would have been insane if I had a chance to be on TV, a freebie original even.

I was just happy that my like traumatic childhood came in clutch for once. Like genuinely my trauma, my trauma and my feelings about this stuff was like, oh, sweet, I get to get out of jury duty because I got my ass beat. I would have fucking... I feel like I would have been honest, just like, I fucking hate cops. I literally said that to the judges. I do not trust members of law enforcement. I do not trust criminals.

So I do not think I would be good for anybody in this situation. I would, I'm not, I'm more like, depending on the case, I would probably be like, against the cops. If it was like a civil case.

Oh, you're talking about juror annulment? Yeah. Nullification? They love that. That was the other thing too, is if like that didn't work, I was going to talk about jury nullification.

What is that? Where you vote not, where you vote not guilty, no matter what. talk about jury nullification what is that where you vote null where you vote not uh not guilty no matter what basically jury nullification basically means that i believe that even if the law says they're guilty if i think the law is stupid or disagree i'm gonna say not guilty anyways oh i would have probably if it if it because it seemed like it was a drug charge if it's for a drug charge fuck off well it depends like here they're more wise last time i was called in the judge like he gave a little speech that basically amounted to if you just try to say jury nullification at the first chance it won't work so i guess people have like

read online about that yeah nobody wants to be there say that that do they even pay you to go to jury they pay you they pay you for your mileage and then they also pay you, in Iowa at least, they pay you for your mileage, and then they give you $30 a day. $30 a day? $30 a day. That is insane. Yeah, I was like... That is not a lot of money. If they still wanted me after that, like me disliking this, I was going to go into jury nullification, I was going to talk about hey, I'm self-employed.

I understand that everybody has to do their civic duty and I totally get that, but you are literally stealing money from my pocket because I can't have somebody else do this in my place. Yeah. Yeah. Here you get paid $12 on day one and then for every day after

you get $20. If the trial lasts more than five days, then you'll be paid $30 for each day after you get $20. If the trial lasts more than five days, then you'll be paid $30 for each day after it. That is actually nuts to me. Plus mileage. I mean, I'm guessing it's not better. It's no better in fucking Canada. They can't fucking afford to pay people full salaries

to show up. It can really fuck some people over. They'll need to get dismissed. Like, hey, I can't miss a week of work and get $12 to $20 a day in replacement like that's not gonna fly that's fucking nuts yeah like the the big thing is is like they they had i think about 12 old people who had been in juries before and all of them were like oh yeah we'll do it again yeah i have something to do oh dude yeah because they were I was old 100%, that'd be fun.

That'd be fun? I get to condemn someone. I mean, I guess you don't have anything else to do. Like, fuck it, you know? I would stand in the jury and give them the thumbs down for death. Like, feed them to the lions. If it was jury duty for, like, a civil case, I think I would have just gone through with it. Because it would have been, like, a day, probably.

And then it would just have been somebody, like, suing somebody. It is just because you don't know like it might be oh I'm gonna see I'm gonna learn about some horrible horrible shit today or it can be I the machine took my dollar and I want four thousand dollars from coke and like I sent some from small claims

I thought small small claims has jury I don't know actually civil cases or civil the whole video presentation I watched on this 20 freaking minutes. I absorbed too much of it. Civil cases. Usually they won't have a jury for small claims courts. It's more like large scale civil cases.

Not like huge ones, but like anything above small claims court requires a jury. In a small claims, you can still request a jury. Okay, true. That's really funny. Listen. That is such a true. That's really funny. Listen. That is such a waste of everyone's fucking time. My mama owes me $50. I'm suing her for $100, and I want a jury.

I need a jury. My mother sold my SpongeBob VHS tape television, and I want a jury because I want it back. I mean, yeah, the jury might be on your side for that one, though. See? See? Fair, fair. I also, after I left, I walked down to my mom's work because it's like a block away from the

courthouse. And she just went around showing me off to her coworkers because I've never stopped in there before. Just like everybody. She's like, oh, look, this is my oldest. This is my oldest. Come here. Come here.

Check him out. Look how tall he is. I think I talked about it before, but last time I did that at my mom's work, because she works administration at a big big big grocery chain at that day she was working administration inside of one of the grocery stores and she just like paraded me around because that's just what mothers do when you visit them at their work like this is this is my son. I just remembered there was a fan of fucking PSD that worked at one of

the grocery stores and I felt like dead. Oh, that was another thing. I think I forgot. I think I talked about that a while back. They just said like, and I was like, oh, what? Hi, man. In the jury duty, as I was leaving, there was a kid. He was probably like

1920 and he looked at me as i was leaving and he winked and waved and gave me the head nod and i was terrified are you kidding i was winked terrified he winked waved and the head nod which is the telltale oh god you know who i am unless that could have been the congrats you got out of jury duty it could have been it could have been either one it could have been either one oh that's wow if you're watching the pst podcast and you were in jury duty with me uh props to you dude pretty freaking epic i liked your plain black shirt freaking epic you're gonna get 17 people saying i was that man i was wait you were you're wait oh he was in the jury he wasn't selected but he was in the jury. He wasn't selected, but he was in the

deselected people in the back of the courtroom. Oh, it must have, no, it must have been like, congrats on not being picked or something. Yeah, it had to be. Maybe it was. I don't know because there was that Domino's delivery driver who knew who I was. Now I can't accept any delivery drivers. Now I can't accept any delivery. Oh, really?

Yeah. When did that happen? Oh, that happened like two months ago. I don't know if I, I didn't talk about this in the podcast, did I? You didn't talk about this? No. I generally don't. Oh, Jesus. I know you told me.

I know I told Corbin, but if I didn't tell David, then I didn't tell it on the podcast. Shelby and I ordered Domino's pizza and like props to the dude. He seemed pretty chill. I go out to get it and I pick it up

and he stops for a second. He looks at his receipt. He looks at me. He looks at me. Oh, wait, no, you have talked about it. You daniel and i was like oh no yeah you have talking about that i literally said please don't tell people where i live i i mean like they look at the receipt and then back to you i swear if he had liquid in his mouth there would have been a spit take holy crap it's bren daniel reeds oh god don't even say that dude my did you know that my wife

has an ongoing joke about that specific phrase does she yeah i didn't i did not know that she uh we went to nebraskon in like 2013 2014 way back did somebody say it and and no i was with my wife and my friend shauna and her boyfriend at the time chad and Shauna is such a... She has such vile energy sometimes. Vile energy. She was like, I'm just going to walk around and then point at you and yell, oh my god, is that Brent Daniel Reeds?

We walked around Nebraska and she's just pointing and screaming with my wife in tandem, oh my god, is that Brent Daniel Reeds? And the only person who recognized me because this is from so long ago

was this incredibly awkward chick who walked up with this dead soulless stare and she said, I really like that fan fiction you read about Sonic. And then she left exactly like this.

Ha ha ha! Immediately. I mean, start to finish, beginning to end. Just like your soundboard. It was like her mouth opened up, her lips didn't move, and then her mouth closed rapidly after. That's so cool.

That's incredible, mate. It was really powerful. Also at that con, I saw 30 guys dressed up as Misty, and they smelled real rank. And I also met the voice actor for seta kaiba but he was really mad that people were getting like people wanted him to sign like yugioh stuff he wanted to sell his uh his like singles album there he's oh he's a singer yeah he had like some album that he was trying to sell and that he was also the most expensive autograph person there um so he was wait so he's an anime con but upset

that people were he was like not he was like a little upset that people were asking for yugioh stuff but also trying to pimp his like solo album god this is man so long ago it came all flooding back i also remember somebody walking around in a panda fursuit that gurgled oh stop stop we're done here we're moving on we're moving on i went to the dmv recently i uh oh man yeah dude i we're we're we're all in on fucking governmental excitement on this episode of the podcast dude okay so the dmv has been closed in quebec for like two months maybe more i don't know i i don't know the details of what's going on but basically like shit's fucked my little ridges i i had to go get my little registration card because they never sent it to me by mail because it was i i sent the money while it while they closed off every service

so i had to go in person dude it took like three hours there were so fucking many people thing is i feel like it was like all the freaks when you went in person did the uh attendant look at you and said of course you'd want it sent by mail thank you i'll be here all week i'm so confused what do you mean m-a-l-e i made a joke it's not i know i know you did i know you did it's just no but he got it okay anyways what the fuck man right dude you fucking you fucked me up so bad i was like on i was just i i i remembered every detail i dropped a fucking psychic flashback on you.

I'm sorry. I was, you told that to me and I was just starting to like, I was just like Sherlock Holmes, like brain palace trying to figure out what the fuck you were telling me. It's because you said sent by mail previously. So I wanted something locked and loaded. Anyways,

there was a, there was a fucking dude in front of me that was like talking super fucking loud on his phone i fucking hate that shit whenever you go to like one of these government type things there's always one motherfucker on his phone just talking extremely loudly and a bluetooth thing too from what i've seen that that dude wasn't in a blue bluetooth he just had like his he had a flip phone and he looked like a hipster he gave me the vibe of somebody who really wants you to know how cool he is for like be having a flip phone in the year 2023 and a big like long coat and he was carrying a clarinet i was like dude this is squid this dude

is squidward squidward dude he he was like he had Squidward vibes. And he just had this aura of like, I am better than all of you because I play the clarinet. Who brings their clarinet to the DMV? Did he want his license picture taken with it? Oh my God, imagine. I don't know. Imagine being the poor employee. He always had it on me. Excuse me.

I'd like to take a picture with my clarinet so the officers know. I don't know what the fuck his deal was, but he just started, he was like, he got in front of me, and then he just took out his phone and called somebody. I was there for like three hours, right? Like two, three hours. That dude was on his phone for the entirety of that. And all he would talk about, he just called up his friend and was like, so I have this new theory about clarinets. I could not fucking believe it. What do you mean? I know. I could not believe it. This dude was literally squidward. I could not believe it. The entire time he was just like, when i hold the clarinet on a right angle i think it sounds better than when i hold it on the left angle i think it gives it more character and

texture the entire time like he would not shut the fuck up about the way he orients his clarinet when he plays and then he started talking about spit like the spit accumulation for another like solid hour it was fucking weird dude i think it would be wonderful if we could invent a device that would clear the spit for you just simply and easily an auto clarinet i think would be quite excellent he was so loud oh i i deal with that so much at work because i work in a lobby now yeah and people have speakerphone conversations they will have the most asinine conversations so what i've started doing is i

control the music and i just turn it up unbearably loud where they cannot reasonably have a conversation in the lobby until they leave i wish i could do that i don't know i was like at that first i was like this is fucking funny this dude's just like squidward but real but after our after the first hour of him talking about his clarinet dude who the fuck was he talking to who the fuck was on his band teacher david he was 16 i don't know he was not 16 he was like maybe 30 making kids look old now though yeah they got crazy i know after like the first hour i was losing my goddamn mind i thought i like after the first hour i thought i was starting hallucinating because there was a man like right in front of me he he just had like

his backpack he took it off and then he started like rustling through it like trying to find something and then he just had like a baby bottle right he just took out a baby bottle with like some i mean i'm assuming it's milk because it was warm white viscous fluid in a baby bottle tepid tepid fucking milk tepid hopefully milk and then he just started sucking on it and just like drinking from the baby bottle like i hate the dmv journey i hate the dmv journey it's always like this it's always like this he got really he that dude just got really fucking high and got confused he thought he was going to edm not dmv he was so old he was like an old man too like fucking he had like completely white hair. Over under he was wearing a diaper.

He might have been wearing a diaper. I don't know. Depends. What do you mean depends? Corbin got it. Corbin got it. That was a joke exclusively for Corbin. No, I get it. I don't get it. David wouldn't know that brand I don't think. Depends, it's a brand of diapers.

I was replying to Corbin Depends. I'm really on a bad joke roll. I did get really, really high like 10 minutes ago. You got really, really high before recording? No, no, no. 10 minutes ago, mid-recording, right after I was telling the story, I grabbed my Delta 8 gas station yaya

and I hit it really, really hard and then I was like, this is a fucking mistake. Oh, I had something like that's not near me are you are you guys all gonna fucking go on yeah yeah what demo dump up on the yeah yeah for pst gonna yeah yo yeah yo just like one piece i'm gonna get i'm gonna get one piece inside of me this is this is 80 milligrams that might be the one piece is real either way the worst part about all that i spent like three hours there i come back home i look in my mail and they sent me another one i finally got it the same day i fucking wasted three hours yeah they sent it by

mail so now i have two registrations for my vague. Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of you. You just have a backup one now. Two magazines on backup. Two magazines on backup. What the fuck am I going to do with registration two? Two magazines on backup. You have like one under your seat or you put it next to your spare tire in case the first one goes out.

I should actually fucking keep one of my registrations register i always lose my registration for my vehicle i hope a law enforcement how just keep it like your glove box i i always i don't know i put things in my glove box yeah gloves no like everything else that i own because i don't like having things in my pocket when i drive cut a hole in the ceiling of your car and then reset it back into the ceiling of your car so when a cop pulls you over and asks for license and registration you pull out a big bowie knife stick it in the ceiling cut it out and say there you are copper are people are people like not bothered by having shit in their fucking when they drive but you have well some cars have like the um storage thing between the seats too in the front i'll put my phone in my cup holder. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't drive. I put everything in the glove compartment. Well, Brendan, I don't think you understand. It's about drive. It's about power. And we stay currently. We devour. Zoa 30% off for the next few hours.

Buy the Rock new Under Armour underpants immediately. It's Dwayne time, David. We can't control it. We can't help it. It's a part of who we are. No. Black Adam can just leave. I have issues with Dwayne the Rock. We need skyscra it. We can't help it. It's a part of who we are. No, Black Adam can just leave. I have issues with playing the Rock Johnson.

We need skyscraper. We don't need Black Adam. You don't like the star of Doom, the movie? Oh, Jungle Cruise? That was when he was still... That was when there was something that could happen there. Recently, his movies have been fucking dog shit.

Because his contracts have all these weird stipulations in them about how hardcore he has to be it's like i have to punch the other guy more i have to do this i have to always win i have to always be the good guy what a fucking weirdo dude this is why john cena will turn out to be the best wrestler turned actor the rock will make more money than well no dave batista sorry Yeah, but Dave Bautista was not that great of a wrestler, so I don't think about him as a wrestler. I think of him as an actor first. I did not think Dave Bautista was a wrestler. I think of Dave Bautista.

Dave Bautista's wrestling career is really funny, just for the beginning. He was one of the Dudley Boys bodyguards, and he would always have a briefcase chained to him when he started out in wrestling and eventually they just gave him his own character. The funniest thing about Batista is during a Royal Rumble, him and John Cena got

thrown out of the ring at the exact same time as the last two entrants, accidentally. So then Vince McMahon had to come out. He came to the ring, walking his big grapefruit-sized nuts like walk, slid into the ring, and when he slid into the ring, he tore both of his quads simultaneously

and had to sit down in the middle of this gigantic pay-per-view, this arena filled with people, and yell at referees from the floor of the ring because he tore both his quads at the exact same time. That's how I know I'm high. I immediately jumped into Wrestling Facts.

I was gonna say, I was going to say I was like no fucking way that I thought this episode would be safe. I didn't even tell any of my Jamaica stories. We could get real unsafe

real fast. What do you mean unsafe? Now you have to do it. What happened in Jamaica?ica bodies in the sand well there's there's two parts of jamaica there's there's tourist jamaica and there's real jamaica tourist jamaica is usually you'll go to like a resort yeah or like a cruise compound and you'll notice that there's usually a fenced off area or some kind of wall or gate and usually people with guns on the edges of it oh shit okay because the real the real part of jamaica is more like it's more dangerous just more crime ridden but a lot of violence kind of it's more just like tourists can get scammed a lot that one of my friends oh that's okay that's why we need guns in case somebody

gets scammed it's it's a rough there could be rough areas one of my friends like if you get a like a taxi driver to tour the country you could get like a really good driver who will show you stuff and like kind of fend off the anyone who might give you trouble and be like oh here you go one of my friends had um when was this this might have been a few years ago but he got a a taxi in jamaica to visit the countryside and they sort of like agreed on the the deal before like they took off from the place yeah and then like he got in and then they start getting to the like the first i was probably like the falls or something they got to the first location and then the taxi driver starts negotiating for more money he's like no i don't

want to pay for that and then he looks to the side and that's when he realizes that the car has no door handles oh my god jesus christ i see i see what you mean by this might be scary it just depends like like anywhere else i mean like i had a great time in Chicago, even though there was a shooting right behind me. Even though there was a shooting right behind me and we had to stay inside for the large shooting on the 4th of July. Oh, yeah, that's right. I mean, when you're not home, when you're far from home and something mildly sketchy happens, it's like oh bro that's not nice that's a bad vibe i mean jamaican markets are like most island culture they'll kind of have um they'll have like haggling yeah like oh you know buy this buy this like i'll give this for that it's like you'll have

what was it in the middle east um some places can be kind of aggressive jamaicans can be very like the market culture there is very like you want to buy this you want to buy this and so i was kind of in the more epcotty epcot jamaica like the compound area i just called epcot jamaica because it's like old it's like old people around from like a cruise ship or a boat oh just like a plane and so it's just like it's jamaican stuff a very very toned down so you can buy like your rum cake i bought some uh i bought some like jamaican rum bring back so you could bring like a certain amount if it's under duty stuff yeah but i was getting a little taste of it in the markets because someone be like oh you like you want

to buy some beads like i don't pressure you at all so i'm just looking at stuff like let me show you this boss man like just putting beads in my hand. These are the codes of Jamaica. Black for the people, red for the blood. Just going through everything. She's piling up more and more stuff in my hands. She's like, don't worry, I'm not pressuring you. I just want you to look at this. There's so much stuff piled on.

That reminds me when I was a kid. We went to a French-Canadian... majority French-Canadian area in Cubaa and everybody everybody would be like pointing at me as like i was a little kid and they would point at me and say i'm a trembley i'm a trembley i'm your cousin buy something from me it was really fucking aggressive there oh my god just like i'm a trembley i mean it's the most common it's the most common uh last name so they just assume everybody's a tremblay which is accurate most people are trembling oh i didn't

know that it's like a yeah no i have i have the most common name in french canada david tremblay like there are hundreds of people named that oh i had no idea thousands even yeah so i was saying it's like that thing with um with a lot of indian people here named patel which i guess there's some historical thing behind it like there is some region in india where people were able to like emigrate out more and it's just more a lot of them were patels so you have like patels all over the place here oh god why didn't tremblelay got started though. Oh, incest. Yeah. Is that the French or the Canadian side?

I guess French, but I could be wrong. It's probably French. I don't know. There was a lot of incest. There's a... Dude, when I was in grade school as a kid, I just remember, because there's a specific area.

Oh, shoot. Why am I blanking out on the area it's like a rural area in uh quebec and people would there's a lot of tremblays there and it is like the joke is that the reason why is everybody is fucking their sister because it's like redneck french can canada and when i was in grade school my teacher would be like talking about the history of quebec and talking about that area in in particular and just pointing at me and going like yeah you probably have a lot of cousins wink wink over there huh a lot of sisters too and i was like i'm fucking 12 dude what fuck? Same teacher that called me a...

Not a good time. I hated that. That teacher was not nice to me. Either way, sorry. Didn't mean to fucking take over the conversation. I've learned a lot about the Tremblay lineage. Yeah, we don't have a crest or anything. We just fuck each other.

Just a crust. I was just blank from hearing the the tripling linear. Yeah, it's about, yeah. It's built on incest and I don't know what else. Please tell your story. Don't let it end on that.

I'm sorry. Please don't let it end on the lineage right right i i walked away with a with a stingray wooden stingray like a desk ornament i was like this this will be fine and when i was buying rum there was a guy who went hey i can make a good sale for you and i it was really he had probably seen me sampling some of the rum before i bought it because he had his eye on me like oh like what what are you selling so i figured he might be trying to sell weed or something and he goes ah a bombs oh a bombs i was like a bombs i have i haven't heard this one before and he goes i can't do it here like we

have to go outside the outside the gate oh oh mandy what did you do well i took a i looked over to where the gate was she's kind of like nodded towards it i looked over there and there aren't any like guards at this gate yeah they just had just had like a, it was like an electronic one. They might've been posted inside or something. But I saw it looked like an, it looked like an oblivion when there's like a group of bandits. Like when they're just standing there, like their cloaks. I just looked by the tree line and it's like, it's pretty hot out. It must've been 85 90 degrees fahrenheit yeah

you see some dudes out there like three or four of them and they're just like in this dark brotherhood little posse they're just kind of looking i can't there's far enough way i can't see their faces or them very well but they're kind of facing towards where he and i are talking and there's kind of milling about i can see they're all faced in my direction oh my god and i was kind of like this feels weird but i didn't think to be like uh no and all that my brain could conjure up with was going what are a bombs again he got really close he just went heroin with something extra i don't know oh a whirlwind with something extra. I don't know. Oh, a whirlwind with something extra? No, it's heroin.

Oh, heroin. Heroin. Heroin. I heard whirlwind. I was like, what is it? What are you? Is it going to blow in your face? Are they going to take you to the water park?

Something extra? I don't know. With something extra? I didn't think to ask. I don't know what about me gave off the vibe I was into buying heroin but I had to sort of self-evaluate after that

A-bomb is a marijuana joint with heroin or opium opium? okay you google urban dictionary A-bomb jeffcososo.org. I don't know.

Apparently, he's into fucking hard drugs. Oh, that's Jefferson County Sheriff's Department. Oh, no, you're on the list. I mean, who knows? It might have been a local term. It could have been something entirely different. That sounds feasible. What if they gave you heroin and skittles just a fucking pack of skittles

we just have so many of these thank you so much you can you can we you don't have to use the heroin we just really want to get rid of the skittles just a bag of plantains just like please take this off our hands also here's a little heroin just to sweeten the deal dude they've got a fucking 37 long page of just drug term definitions what's the give us give us a few bangers acid head user of lsd in parentheses acid freak why do they have my world of warcraft build in the jefferson county sheriff's department drug database i'm the acid freak this is fuck b bombs are just methamphetamine yeah well they're named after me just meth yeah oh brendan bombs i'm guessing you did the heroin right me yeah i

oh man i injected it right in the middle of epcot right in the middle of the city of the future no i just said i just said i'm good but i was clearly looking at the group of people who were loitering outside the gate really strangely looking scary and he just went you good businessman and then he kind of wandered off and started talking to a different tourist okay dude this looks like ah you see them i'm like what are you talking about oh you're good business what does that mean where's the game you or some shit oh he might have also been on something must have been on a bombs or something yeah i mean you gotta try out the problem everyone else there was really nice though i mean he was he might have also been on something must have been on a bombs or something yeah he might have

been i mean you gotta try out the problem everyone else there was really nice though i mean he was nice he he like yeah he told you you were a good businessman to be fair they might have just they might have unfurled their robes and had the a bombs waiting for me for a transaction unfurled their robes and they're just like normal dudes. Yeah, I mean I did not expect to be attacked. I thought more like, oh, this is going to be some sort of weird scam. Drug dealers are people too. They don't have to always be mean. Like people are way too mean to

drug dealers, you know? Listen, if I go to a drug dealer's house and they don't have a guy playing Two Worlds 2 on an incredibly loud Xbox 360, I don't trust them. Shut up. What is your fucking thing? What is your deal with Xbox 360? If I go to a drug dealer's house,

and they're not playing Bound by Flame on PS4. Shut up. Shut up. Your fucking mouth. Why do you always talk about fucking obscure, like, 360 era fantasy games? What is that? I hate that one specifically,

because I knew a guy who dealt weed in high school and he would play Two Worlds 2 on his Xbox 360. Oh, of course. And he'd say things like, it's like the next Oblivion. That's funny too. Where did you read that one, buddy? Two Worlds 1 on the back of its case says, like Oblivion on steroids. Yes!

That's the one. Oblivion on steroids. Cool. Come play Kingdom of amular reckoning oh kingdom of amular rhode island's greatest cultural export oh didn't it didn't didn't rhode island fucking lose a shit ton of money off of that yes but it got a remaster recently so maybe they got some money back there's no or maybe they lost more there's no fucking way they got money back from that do you think that Rhode Island gets any tourism from people who are

literally looking for the Pawtucket Pact facility like they're looking for the Family Guy landmarks in Rhode Island real do you think they do Family Guy tours in Rhode Island they're from Laura that sounds like something that would happen is Quahog

Quahog Quahog... Quahog? Quahog? Sorry, what is it again? Is Quahog a real city? I do not believe so. Is it like Springfield where it's not a real place? There must be a real Quahog. A fictional city.

There's not a real Quahog. Really? Yeah, fictional city. Wow. I guess you can't really do a tour for something that doesn't exist i mean come on you know there would be a bidding war for the family guy house on spooner street the thing is that's actually what i thought might happen like they'd make like a tourist trap oh you mean like yeah oh like like when they what when they made a fake hogwarts exactly like here's the little quahog like come to the real drunken

clam and buy your buy your thing oh dude there has toahog. Come to the real drunken clam and buy your thing. Oh, dude, there has to be a fucking drunken clam. There is a drunken clam in Japan. In Japan? Shout out to HeyIt'sRu who watches the podcast. They told me about it. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, there is a drunken

clam in Osaka that uses the Family Guy font. I'm posting it one second. What? That's fucking sick. That's on the list i got oh my god yeah there's the drunken clam in osaka japan looking for an exciting and unique way to spend your night this looks much classier than yeah this i think it's not so i think it's just a karaoke bar with a couple of Family Guy themed things. Wait, wait, wait. They got the Giggity Giggity special.

They literally have the Giggity Giggity special. Yeah, there's Magmire. That's so cool. It's only a thousand yen, too. They don't have any contact at Pat. This place sucks. Oh, they have a bunch of family guy stuff on the walls they have gay baby i just saw gay baby oh they the tvs all show reruns brian that's so sad i take back to being class because i just saw the bar with the chairs like oh that

looks nice and now i'm seeing more of it and it's just it looks like a family guy pair oh they are hiring two female bartenders though two megs as we call them in the business you're the new looking for mega meg likes i'm the mega the podcast so it's fine who's the brian griffin of the podcast mandy i don't want to be brian oh my god i don't want i don't want to hold my martini and smug about. Oh, God. Who was this fucking hero in the show? Bill. Was it Bill Mayer? Bill Maher. Yeah.

Oh, God. Was it really Bill Maher? That's Brian's hero. I remember that. Shut up. It might have changed when I saw it. He loved Bill. Of all the people. Are you shitting me?

No, that checks out completely for Brian. I haven't seen Family Guy in years. Sometimes I hear it. Two nights ago ago it was it was boo's birthday and he was having a he was having a me time night right like where he was doing his own thing and he was watching him he was drunk as fuck watching american dad and i could hear him just like just like the loudest scream laugh oh Oh, Roger, you crazy alien. What hijinks will you get up to tomorrow?

It was fucking wild. He was scream laughing so hard. I think often when I think about Family Guy, I think about the Bones crossover episode where David Boreanaz's character had a tumor in his brain and he went to a sperm clinic and Stewie Griffin was on the TV

talking about his cum, which is a real episode of Bones and stewie griffin was on the tv talking about his cum which is a real episode of bones and stewie griffin was talking to him because it was revealed his character had a brain tumor yeah right that's that's yeah oh right the dangerous i didn't talk about you know what i burnt out carnival cruise shit before before we move away from like tv i just learned that there was an episode of x-f files where there there was a kkk gray alien and that fucked me oh dude that episode is really good that episode is really really really good i just saw like i was talking to jello and jello out of zero context just fucking like is like dude

look at this just shows me like a thing where like kkk members are racist and I was like oh that's why are you showing me this and at the end the KKK member with a shotgun gets unmasked and he's a gray alien on the floor and I started fucking laughing so hard do you know what's wild about that episode specifically the unnatural is that alien is pretending to be a black person

actually who is doing baseball in the uh the uh the uh specific leagues in like the 20s and 30s that black people had to be in because the MLB in the US was super racist. But then there's the alien bounty hunter who wants to get him. He was in the segregated league

because an alien bounty hunter was trying to get him and that's why he was hiding as the KKK after that. What the fuck? What the fuck? That is one of the higher tier x-files even more wild there's a worse episode of the x-files where there is a black vampire who is sucking the melanin out of people oh i don't remember that like blackula

wait no not like blackula he does not he just sucks blood i don't remember that one that one was really that was uh telico oh okay he sucks the melanin he sucks yeah basically he kills them and makes them white okay wait wait okay wait no that is not what i that is not what i thought you meant by that so wait okay what did you think is he a white is he a white vampire who sucks like the skin color out of people. Out of black people. Yes. Yes. A lot of X-Files episodes were, let's think of a little freak who will eat freaky things.

Like, what if this guy ate cancer? There's an episode of the X-Files where a monster, it's completely shot in black and white. It's a very, very good episode. They're chasing a monster and the monster is obsessed with Cher and it's not an actual monster. So they take the monster to a Cher concert at the end of the movie at the end of the episode that episode's fucking great that episode and the episode where they have the three way phone call and skinner molder and scully are all in a bubble bath all in the same bubble bath with the same rotary phone eating the same fruit but it's like a three-way split screen

i could do for pondering i could do goofy x files night i could pick like three episodes or two episodes that would be really that would be really fucking fun i i i got to like season two of x files and i don't know what happened something like i just kind of stopped his other things in life the post movie stuff like the weird shit happens after the movie because what i what after the movies when i had to because what I watched so the main cast sort of vanishes and they try to bring in new people David Duchovny vanishes and they replace him with the Terminator from Terminator 2

I remember you told me that is season 6 or 7 Mulder disappears and then he's back at the end of I think season like 9 he's in the finale of that because he had like weird negotiations with Fox and he was just like fine then try to do x files that didn't work i'm guessing you cannot do x files without david to company that was proven you cannot even though scully was in some episodes was he was he in the reboot uh yeah he him and jillian anderson were

the leads in the reboot which the reboot, which the reboot is really... The reboot has very good goofy episodes, very bad narrative episodes. The narrative was always fucking horrible anyways. Hit or miss, hit or miss. It really depended on if they were trying to push the aspect of the narrative where it was a conspiracy and aliens weren't real or aliens were real. I always loved it when they did aliens were real.

And you see them change their minds so often. They flip-flop it. Honestly, that's the thing that bothered me about x files is every time i watched it scully was that the she she forgets what she saw it pisses me off it really pisses me off because the most insane fucking shit would happen clearly aliens clearly like whatever supernatural garbage next episode she was like moeller shut the fuck up you dumb fuck you're such a stupid head it's like i think when she gets forced to be pregnant by the alien slash government that's when she starts to believe more but also she's still trying to keep a critical rational mind and also that's when they start

bringing in scully has Christian moments episodes. That's right. I forgot about those. Did you know that Brad Dwarf actually is in one of those Scully Christian episodes as the villain-ish of that episode? I did. That sounds right. I did. I love Brad Dwarf. I love Brad

Dwarf in Alien Resurrection. He calls the queen a beautiful butterfly. Remember when Ken Bone called pregnant women beautiful human submarines? I want you to stop. Can we not talk about Ken Bone? We were having such a good fucking time, you dick.

Look, I have island vacation photos of feral horses and donkeys going through garbage. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just... Welcome to the X-Files podcast. I would love that, unironically. I love the X-Files.

I've seen it four times all the way through. Okay, either way... Go through every episode of the X-Files. Individually critique them. Manny, you were saying something and I just steered the conversation back to KKK Graylands I was saying like when I got outside the compound

it was sort of like a cross between I don't know sort of like a Caribbean island adventure and Fallout 2 specifically but beyond that there was a cruise ship that pulled into port and it was a carnival one and I noticed something very strange about it which was that

if you ever seen carnival cruise ships they have something very strange about it which was that if you ever seen carnival cruise ships have like the big uh red stack on the top like the wings that come out yeah one of the stacks like on the one the wings on it was gone and completely blackened around it like it had exploded oh my god i went huh that's weird and i looked at the side of the ship and it was the carnival oh i can't remember which one it was, but I looked up like what the, what the fuck happened to it. And it turned out that in like a year before this day, just about,

they had ported in an Island or like nearby and the thing had caught fire. Oh my God. And they had just never bothered to fix it completely. So just half the top that was completely burnt off. And i'm looking down at it i'm like what the fuck is going on and then i see their lifeboats most um cruise ships or like ships in general that have the lifeboats kind of like hanging either over the ocean or like on a deck where only crew are on yeah so that like they can't so people can't mess with it it's not like a danger but on this one it turned out that i don't know if they're short on money or what but i think they converted one of the crew decks to like another passenger

one because there were people like out there chilling like on that deck and i saw oh i do have a picture of it they had their lifeboats hanging over the lounge chairs like the sort of fucking damocles wait like i'll show the picture wait like as parasols or something like people can recline on those chairs with this fucking lifeboat hanging over you oh my god it's like it's hanging by a thread dude what the fuck and i couldn't believe it because i've seen other ships but i've never seen lounge chairs oh i guess the carnival ships catch fire kind of frequently actually oh no okay there it is it was that one i i still do not have the name. Oh my god.

But yeah, that is the ship that bursts on fire. You can see the wing is just completely burnt off. And they then celebrate the occasion by not fixing it and then putting lounge chairs under the lifeboats. Not fixing it? That is a fucking... That melted. Holy shit.

Yeah. Carnival ships are pretty fucking wild. I've seen videos where people get into fights on them. One from Australia had this gang of 40 people going around. They're just attacking all the Aussies they could find. What? I met a girl who got a lifetime

ban from a Carnival cruise. How do you get a lifetime ban? That's so hard to do. There's so much shit that happens in these boats did she like jump off the balcony or something into the water no I think she started fighting people

what the fuck is with carnival cruises carnival is like the waffle house of the sea the waffle house of the sea it is oh my god it's like shrimp oblivion loading screen like do you want to test your skills in the arena but carnival for a weekend i i she didn't really exactly tell me what happened she said she blacked out but she she was like went feral on the cruise ship. Fuck. She was like, never go on Carnival Cruises.

And this is like out of nowhere. And I'm like, okay. And I really did not want to hear more. And she goes, yeah, they gave me a lifetime ban. And I was like, what did she do? You, you did that.

Why is she fucking weird about it? It's so weird. I have no idea. You can't get mad at them for you fighting people what the fuck what the hell yeah you get you get those cheap drink packages and you get blacked out man lifetime ban from carnival is such a badge is it a badge she was she was wearing it like a badge let tell you. Because we were just on the same elevator. This is not like a... Oh, you don't even know her.

This is not like a friend I have. I thought you knew her. They just brought that up? Yeah. No, it was like getting to the elevator and then just a... Don't even. Don't even think about getting blackout drunk on a Carnival Cruise. They will ban you if you fight people.

Maybe she just got the news or something and was letting you know. Making sure you're in the know to not get blackout drunk on carnival and fight people. I've always wanted to do a cruise because there's something about cruises where I know I'll see the most fucked up and weird

shit. I want to do the Jericho cruise. At least once. Let's organize the PST cruise oh my god let's organize let's go on a Disney cruise ship during Marvel week yes let's do the Jericho cruise

I'm going to push for the Jericho cruise what the Jericho cruise Jericho's rock and wrestling ranger at sea Jericho's rock and wrestling ranger at sea they have wrestling bands and karaoke and everything the only reason I want to veto Disney is not because of Jericho's Rockin' Wrestling Ranger at sea. They have wrestling matches and karaoke and everything. The only reason I want to veto Disney is not because of what we'd see. It's because of the price.

The Disney Cruise price is... You are paying to see Mickey Mouse. Also, David, if we went on the Jericho Cruise... I don't know anything about cruises. If we went on the Jericho Cruise, I think David Arquette goes to almost everyone. Oh, my God. So we can find David Arquette.

I can go get my signed copy of Eight-Legged Freers. Freers? Freers. He could sign every copy of Scream. What else is he? What's the most obscure, fucked up thing I could get David Arquette to sign? The WCW championship belt?

I was going to say his wrestling shit. You say that but like you can't kill david arquette like his death match match was insane get like c spot run or something like something he would not have thought about in at least 10 years ravenous probably ravenous wasn't there something oh wait shark boy and lava girl wasn't he the dad he's in was he yeah he was? Yeah, he was Max's dad. Yeah, he was Max's dad in Sharkboy and Lava Girl. Oh, wow.

Get him to sign this Scooby-Doo movie and tell him you loved him as Fred. What? That's so random. No, it's because Matthew Lillard. Oh, because they have a rivalry. It's because Matthew Lillard and also Freddie Prinze Jr. are in that. Oh, my God. Get him to sign Wing Commander the movie the dvd because david arquette does like uh wrestling shit but uh so

does uh freddie prince jr if it's junior wrote for wwe for a while he also has been speculating about he's been trying to get enough startup cash to start his own wrestling federation the david i can beat you up wrestling dude but that's freddie prince jr david or cat i am down as fuck for a psd cruise ship experience dude that'd be fucking insane i think david was on celebrity family feud and brought only wrestlers

with him to it do they still do do they still do those celebrity cruise ships where it's just a normal cruise ship but sometimes you'll see lady gaga the jericho cruise Lady Gaga. The Jericho cruise! Oh, I guess the Jericho cruise, yeah. Who does that? Remember, David, Chris Jericho

is not only... Chris Jericho is not only a wrestler with 30 years of experience, Chris Jericho is also the lead singer of the hit band Fozzy. You get like 300 bucks and book Carnival for a weekend and we have our own Waffle House to the sea. You can survive the arena. I would like Carnival.

It just seems like we're going to see more fucked up shit. It's just going to turn into Lord of the Flies. One half of the ship is going to be mine. The other half of the ship is going to be yours. And we're just going to consult our armies and make them fight. We're going to be playing Total Warhammer on the cruise ship. Isn't Carnival the one that has a thing with... What's the guy who goes like...

He cooks and he goes, bam! Emeril? Emeril, yeah. Doesn't he have a deal with Carnival where all the restaurants are Emeril? Yeah, well, Guy Fieri has it too. Like, all the burger places on Carnival are his. I love Guy Fieri! Yeah, but Emeril hasn't done anything in like 20 years, so now he's like the fancy Carnival thing.

Emeril's pretty old. in like 20 years. So now he's like the fancy carnival thing. Is he like 90 or something? Yeah. Some of my first memories are of fucking Emeril on the TV. Oh my God, that's right. Because I called 911 when I was like three. And Emeril showed up. But it wasn't. I'm sorry.

I had a memory get blasted in my brain. You called 911? When I was a kid. The cop walked in walked in exactly like everill pointed the gun at you and said bang i called 9-1-1 like to see because i learned what 9-1-1 was i called it yeah i heard like oh it's 9-1-1 and i hung it up and then and then i went and that ring and picked it up and this lady went like oh this is 9-1-1 we got a call for this thing and i went bang and I hung it up again.

I went back to playing with Legos or whatever. Bam. I did something. I feel like everybody called the cops at least once. But the cops showed up. The cops never showed up for me. They showed up here. And because my mom called up, she's like, did you call 911?

And I went, yeah. And I went up. And he did look like Emeril because my mom would watch Emeril. But he's in his police suit. He had the same voice. He was just Emeril. He went, you know, you gotta be careful calling 911. You know, we need to be here for real emergencies. And he left.

And my mom said, you shouldn't have done that. We're now going to bake cookies to apologize to him. So my mom and I baked cookies. You baked cookies for cookies for emerald yeah and she did not get his name so when we went to the police station and went to like the front desk she had to ask hey which of the officers here looks like emerald and the front desk lady like named exactly who it was oh my god she's like oh he's out in his car like oh just give them to give them these give them these cookies and then she she punished me properly but emerald officer got his cookies i'm just imagining your mom walking away while the cop talks to you the cop like gets in his car but before he gets into his car he turns around and he whispers just so only you can hear

oh god my mom might have thought like we should cook for him to try and impress him because he looked like emerald because she watched emerald so much like maybe i can impress him with my cooking i can't believe it wasn't emerald but it was his twin brother

earl my name is emerald oh fucking if it wasn't emerald but it was his twin brother earl my name is emerald oh fucking emerald that's not your karma list no it's an ingredients list bam oh dude i can't wait to go to let's go on a carnival

cruise to the emerald store and just yell bam it's like the yellow brick road we're going to the emerald city oh my god let's do some patreon questions before we head out sure if you're part of the five dollars and above uh on tier page uh you can ask a question and we'll answer it maybe we get a lot of questions sometimes we can't get through all of them i'm cleaning cleaning out my bookmarks on google chrome and i don't know why i had the wikipedia page for kangaroo jack bookmark that's the mandy effect no that's the mandy effect i don't know why every time i'm with mandy i think

about kangaroo jack why because it's the first we've talked about being like a bullshit bait and switch movie yeah but the thing is we haven't talked only once about it it feels like every time we're hanging out somebody but it's true it is true it someone always brings up kangaroo jack this time it was corbin though he just had it bookmarked what are patreon questions corbin left oh i've been left He went to go pee I could do one Do you want me to wait until Corbin comes back We should probably wait

He can hear us I can't hear the pissing Corbin I always forget how close this toilet is to the computer I don't even know what he's saying I can barely Just say the question He can clearly hear alright what are some the guy with the hat asks what are some

family friend group in jokes that make you look fucking insane to people outside of it I'm horny that one absolutely I had back in college I had a friend who would always just randomly turn to me after I ask him a question and he'd be like ah something fucked up and then he'd just say because

and then he'd look at me and he'd widen his eyes and then he'd stand still looking at me for like a full one minute and that was like a joke that we just started doing where it's like oh hey Brendan did you make those cookies no but I've killed 12 people in Texas and they'll never find the bodies why would you do that Brendan because and then it started to evolve to the point where there was a store that opened up down from the college and it just became it was called just because balloons and so me and my friend james we'd just be driving in the car and we'd just be regurgitating that back together we'd just be just because balloons just because balloons and we'd just be in a car for like 20

minutes just saying that on repeat to be fair i i have one similar to that that i don't know what the fuck happened it was during apple picking season around montreal and it was furs and i and we were just sitting on the subway and i just looked at him and i said knock knock who's there apple season and then like for for some, he just looked at me and just did like, hello? Hello? Apple picking season. It's time.

And now we just went on for just the entire ride, people looking at us. We were both going, knock, knock, ring, ring. Who's there? Apple picking season. Apple picking season who? It's time for apples. Apples. We would just constantly do that and just stare at each other in the eyes.

Sounds like the activation phrase from Halloween 3. It's time. It's almost time. It's almost time. Apple season. Just seven more days. Just seven more days. For the big contest.

Oh, it does sound like it. I hate that both of you are right, that I still remember that goddamn song. Yeah. I'm still mad about that. Five more months to Halloween. Halloween. Halloween. Five more months to Halloween.

Silver Shamrock. I hate that movie. Corbin, your turn. I don't know if I have one. I know. I can't tell you. When I was in the restroom and you were asking me questions, I was just screaming like a minion.

None of those were real words. You were screaming like a minion? Yeah, that's why you were asking me questions. I was just screaming like a minion. None of those were real words. You were screaming like a minion? Yeah, that's why you couldn't understand me. I wasn't saying real words. Banana. I already talked about Pooka Naps last time. Oh, shit. Pooka Naps.

Dude, my life has been... Okay, sorry. I was just going to say, because Pooka Naps is relevant. My wife has a new one where she requests creature time now, where she'll walk up to me, and then she just wants me to pat her head for like five minutes, and she's like, I want creature time now. Oh.

Like a creature comfort. Yeah, like she is a creature, and I'm comforting her. Puka has just been like part of my fucking life. No more Puka. Puka this, Puka that. I talked to you for three hours, and you're fucking showing me your Puka iceberg video idea. it's literally been my entire fucking life for some reason it's always in my fucking head what did you watch puka 2 the pukening no i didn't it's just been in my head because i was editing the megan the megan uh pondering and i was looking

up like references and putting up the videos for puka and for some reason they got stuck in my head but the worst part is out of nowhere something activated in my life where everybody talks about fucking blumhouse dark uh dark anthology thing in the dark into darkness something like that dark finaf blumhouse everybody fucking talks about puka to me now everybody goes up to me and it's like oh dude have you you seen puka and i'm like shut the fuck up no one should ask if you've seen puka that's what i'm saying but it keeps happening i don't know why through all facets of your life everything will eventually and inevitably become puka. Everything is puka-see, puka-that.

Puka me, puka you. I puka you. Oh, God. That sounds wrong, David. That's how it fucking is. I think the only one that I really do, I will butcher quotes and make them mean the opposite of what they're supposed to mean. And then, like, oh, yeah, my grandpa used to always tell me right before he died. And if people don't know me, I still do it and it's always awkward but like like like what like

what would the like grandpa used to say is this like a baker's mile kind of thing exactly yeah right right oh god we talked about this with chicago because julian had a bunch of them like oh you know there's plenty of other yeah like oh yeah there's plenty of other gift horses in the ocean yeah yeah because there was a term for that we've talked about that before i can't remember now i don't i don't either i'm sure it's fine i'm sure i'm sure 20 people in the comments will be like that's what it means what all started because my my dad unironically does that like he does not understand like common turn of turns of phrase your dad is dave batista from guardians of the galaxy drax exactly and he just butchers them like super super hard and so

i found it really funny so i started doing it on purpose uh major beast jingles the 60-fifth plus one asks... Majority... I'm sorry. Shut the fuck up. If the PSD crew had their own custom-made drink, alcohol or non-alcohol, what would it be called and what would be in it? Water with sauce. I thought David had a cookbook or something that was going to do that.

I mean, yeah, but I don't have a PSD-themed anything. I'm still working on that cookbook, but I don't have a PST themed anything. I'm still working on that cookbook, but I don't have a... The only real themed drink we've had so far is that horrible fucking Malort in Chicago. But that's not a drink. That's not a PST drink. No, it's not. It's just suffering.

The Sriracha vodka would have to make an appearance. Oh, yeah. Do you still have that? I did. I did find that bottle of it, and I was really upset with it. I think I told Brendan the second I found it, because I was cleaning stuff out. And I found that foul, horrible bottle of Sriracha vodka. I bought that. That's my gift for you.

I think I destroyed it. I don't remember. You destroyed it? It was so expensive, Mandy. There was not much left by the time it came to my hands. What the fuck do you mean? Who the fuck drank it? It also is one of those rare things that tastes much worse than it smells,

which kind of impressed me. Oh, yeah, no, the smell is just like normal vodka. You taste it, and it is like... I mean, I could smell the sriracha, but I was like, how bad will this be? And it was bad. It is one of the worst fucking things i've ever had david drink idea uh gastronomy and cheese you freeze a small block of mac and cheese and put it in everclear oh hey if you're listening to the podcast and you decide to make that i'm gonna give you a thumps

up a thump up i'm gonna give you a thump. Someone will send you one sticker. Oh God. But you have to film yourself. You might know. Okay. No, no, no, no,

no. Listen, I'll send you, I'll send you a shirt, but you have to eat it. Actually. No, I shouldn't tell you that because that sounds like my manager is going to be

like, you cannot tell people to do that. David, you can't tell people to boil gasoline. No, not the gasoline. Have you made gasoloni and cheese there? No, people to do that david you can't tell people to boil gasoline no no no the name of the drink is it's just a glass of everclear with a frozen mac and cheese wait wait no okay okay not a glass garnish okay it's two ounces of everclear because i don't want people to literally just die i feel

like then the mac and cheese that you just put one wouldn't it curdle you put a single it would curdle oh it would curdle oh god it would curdle because it's fucking dairy uh no no no what you really need to do is make up make your own mac and cheese moonshine don't don't do shots of everclear it's an ingredient it is not a straight drink it literally i have done a shot of everclear do not do it do not do it as an ingredient you know what use crystal skull vodka dan i've done multiple i've done multiple shots of everclear in a night and it was totally fine do not listen corbin you are not indicative of normal human you can corbin the only person who can out possibly out drink you is my mom and that's it i don't know anybody else who can i was at a party and did like seven shots of everclear for fun

uh and then after that started reading the bottle and i was like oh see that's what i'm saying you cannot follow corbin boo boo literally every time i bring it up, Boo is like, oh, I can definitely, I can out drink Corbin. No, no, he cannot. Maybe right now. I really have not been drinking for the last like half a year. I feel like it's not even about that. I feel like it's about something else. There's something in your body. Oh, it's about drive. You got the same liver that my wife has, Corbin. You got a premium liver. I got one of those dirty, like, get it at GameStop trade-in, like, used livers. I always say it. Listen, I always say it.

White women are horrifyingly, like, they can just out-drink anyone. It's fucking crazy. White women are just scary in general. Whenever my wife drinks, I hear, you know, the TF2 when they're doing the Halloween event. You hear that? That's the sound I hear if my wife is drinking. I can be anywhere and just know.

Alright, how about I polish off a bottle of whiskey live right now? No, you don't need to do that. Everybody's leaving after. David, you don't need to do that. Everybody's leaving after. David, you can't stop me. You'd just be drunk.

Alone. I'm never alone. Thank you, Christ. Was that a dodgeball? No, I got one of those, though. One sec. I thought someone just got beamed with a dodgeball. No, that was me opening the bottle of larceny. If we ever go to another...

I mean, we are going to another thing. I want to go do some... I hear it. I hear that rubber. I want to go do some adult dodgeball. Oh, I would fuck it up. That would be so fun. I want to do a rage room and record it for the podcast channel at some point.

I think it would be amazing. What is a rage room? It's where they set up a bunch of breakable shit and you go in and you just rage. Yeah. What? That's a thing? You get the Tommy Wiseau room, basically. Oh my god. I think my submission for a drink would just

be an A-bomb. But I would... Yeah, no, just a regular A-bomb. Just blend it up, put it in a shot. It's like an Irish car bomb, but a little more potent. I just imagine you putting a little bit of every alcohol you own into it just a tiny bit at a time and it reminds me of the jungle juice bottle i've done that before uh all my roommates were just sitting in the living room and i was like all right we've got like multiple different types of alcohol so i've decided we're playing a game

tonight where we got to drink them all uh and so we did one shot of all of like the hard liquor we had. And then the last one was a mystery shot, which they found out what the mystery shot was before I even handed it to him. It was a mix of everything. It's a fun night. I used to have my friend Nick used to have this bottle and we would go over there and party and he would have this crystal decantor. And we called it like the vial. We called it the elixir. We called it jungle juice.

Every bottle of alcohol he got, he would save one single sip and then dump it in there. So it was always full too. It was always full. And it was like, are you drinking from the elixir? Yes or no. Did I? That reminded me. There's no way.

That must have gotten rotten, dude. It was disgusting. Yeah. Did I ever tell you all about the time I blacked out at a biker rally a biker rally? I cannot believe I haven't told this before in the podcast my friend had the same exact thing

it was a giant plastic flask that was like the size of an average man's torso was it only hard liquor or was it all alcohol? It was just whiskeys. Oh, okay. And it was a mix of just like whatever.

If they ever had a little bit left in a bottle, they'd put it in there. And we went to a biker rally in Galveston and it was open container, which is usually not in Galveston. But just for the biker rally, they were like, fuck it, you can carry around drinks. But I was under 21, so I couldn't buy drinks there. So I just had to bring my own. So I just brought this giant-ass flask, which also he forgot he had it. He just found it in his room. He was like, oh, shit, I forgot about this.

This was like two years ago. We just kept putting alcohol in here. And I just started drinking it and blacked out super hard. At one point, I went to a Bubba Gump shrimp. It was just pelting people. Oh, it's always... People always get sick at Bubba Gump.

I did not go inside the Bubba Gump. I was outside of the Bubba Gump with a bunch of tennis balls pelting people on the balcony. What the fuck? Oh my God. He's yelling, Jenna, is that you?

Jenna! Jenna, is that you? Whap! I don't know how I got the tennis balls, but I can probably find a video and I can send it to y'all later of me just incredibly drunk on a beach just pelting people with tennis balls.

Oh my God. And then I fell asleep on a jetty a jetty like a jet ski no it's like a section of rock that goes out into the ocean oh and then i woke up in someone else's bed like awesome alone yeah no covered in sand like i woke up and thought i was on the beach and then i was like what the fuck and i was in a bed and i I was on the beach. And then I was like, what the fuck? And I was in a bed. And there was like, I don't know, eight other guys in that room. I had no idea where I was. Did you know any of them?

No. All you knew that in your mind you were hearing, run, Corbin, run. Apparently that's what happened. Apparently I walked very, very far that night. I just went on an adventure. You woke up and you had a beard and then you saw the spirit of Tom Cruise leaving. It's Tom Hanks leaving you and you're like, Tom Hanks, you're not dead. And then he's like, dude, don't worry

about it. And then he flies away. I wasn't a good location though. There's people in the other room that I knew. So I made it back somehow. There was a really cool concert. I yelled at someone who was wearing shorts. He's also playing the guitar. He's really cool.

Yeah. Awesome. I look forward to our carnival cruise. I look forward to the stingrays. Welcome to the arena. Can we get everybody to dress up like Rooster Teeth Red versus Blue? What? What do you fucking mean?

We have to start the conflict right off we got to carry red paint blue paint and then just random people on the cruise we will just grab them we'll slap them with a color of paint we'll say you've been selected you've been selected you've been selected and then at one point there's going to be a bunch of reds and reds and blues. And then the fights will happen on their own. Yeah, I'll have German Sturger, the great horn. Dude, exactly like when Pokemon Go came out and then people were like,

Are you team instinct? What's your team, bro? What's your team? What color team? And then people would get into fights in the streets in Montreal. That was cool i got a bunch of free alcohol for being blue i never i didn't even play the game i just said like oh yeah i'm blue they were like we're giving shots to everybody who's uh blue and i was like oh yeah i'm blue we love blue man i picked team instinct and it was like the worst decision of my goddamn life because team instinct was apparently the bulliable faction

and i immediately quit pokemon go like two weeks after you can get free shots your life sucks i know how do we end this tragedy how do we end this i gotta go pee howdy thanks so much for listening! This episode would not be possible without the help from our patrons, such as... Alan Diver Beer Boopooloo Brain Soup

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