Plumbing the Death Star - 625 - How Would You Terrorize Gotham?

Episode Date: January 4, 2026

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Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast and asked the important questions like, How Would You Terrorize Gotham? Gotham, it's a place to be terrorized. Yeah.

It's a place we love to hate. Exactly. Fuck the people. Fuck the buildings. Fuck the bath. Yes. When the good Lord saw fit to slam

Gotham down, he said this. I could never leave but God do I hate to stay. I love to watch it go but hate to watch it leave. Right? No.

Right? Like is the Gotham's getting... I hate to see you go but I love to watch you walk away. Yes. It's an awesome. It's an arse reference. I was trying to do that for the city.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, maybe, anyway. If Gotham was a city, it would probably be caked. Sorry, if Gotham, the city was a person, it would probably be caked up. That's true, dude. Thoughts?

Yeah, I think I agree. It gives BBL vibes. It does give BBL vibes. I agree. No, natural. I don't think it gives. Oh, Natty Fat, Natty, dude. Natty Fattie?

Nattie Fattie? Well, I love a Natty Fattie. Well, I love a nati Fadi. Well, I think. That's one thing about our podcast. We love a Nadi Fadi. Yeah. But I think

Goffin. Yeah. I think it depends what kind of Gotham. Okay. Because I'm thinking like, say, is it the Frank Miller like grimy Gotham? I'm thinking a flat pancake heroin cheese. Yeah, okay.

Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. Because Gotham can have grimy lobes. Goff. Big Titty Goth, Goffin. Oh, I see. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. But then also, Gotham is usually gothic.

Yeah. That's true. I don't think they're particularly clever with the naming there. No. What about Metropolis? Now, historically. Gothic, like, you know, big-tied... Goth girls?

Goth girls in the Gothic ages. Yes. No, no, okay, got me there. No, yeah, not really. I'm asking a question. No, no, I feel like in the Gothic here or... Wait, American Gothic. They all look like that upset...

American Gothic, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, piss my life. I hate my rake. I hate my rake. Nobody knows this. Why is Appleface? Yeah, my fuck ugly husband in my fuck ugly house. In American Gothic, the lady in the portrait, she hated that rake.

That's why she was so cut. He also did the guy standing up in, you know, that people use it as a meme these days. It's a guy standing up in like a court or a town council meeting and being like, oh! And he's got a point to make. And it was part of, I forget the name of the artist, but he's like, he had a series on like American freedoms. And the story behind that one, and this might be getting slightly incorrect, is that in the middle of a town council meeting, the artist could not figure out what to use for like freedom of speech or something

and he couldn't figure it out but then he was in a town council meeting and that guy stood up and yelled about some like school planning thing for like 10 minutes no one agreed with him everyone was mad at him but he was like by God he's got the right to say and so he turned that into his painting

was that the same era as like yeah Appleface? I think they're the same guy Appleface? You know the painting where it's a guy's oh Appleface I don't know Apple face I could imagine being later than that Yeah. Anyway. It's not Kingade, is it?

No, no. He's another guy. I'm sure. I don't believe that the painting you referenced had anything to do with the American Gothic guy. Oh, okay. Different guys, yeah. Wait, hang on. Yeah, I guess did you mean American Gothic the painting or American Gothic?

I met the painting. Were they at least contemporaneous? Yeah, that's... That was what I was asking. But actually, before that I was asking, like, yes, in the historical Gothic agents. Yeah. Yeah, what were the tithy sizes? The problem is that Gothic is an architecture, not a period of time.

But I guess it would have been like... I think as we get older, the breast size gets larger. Yeah. Although maybe that's stopped now? I don't know. Dicks are getting smaller, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

There was like... Tiny-dicked Gothic boys. No one's talking about those little dick gothic boys. Yeah, well, I guess like maybe you've got big titty-goth girl and then you've got tiny-dict podcast boyfriends. Yeah, that's good, dude. Need me your little dick podcast boyfriend, bad, dude. Pindicked podcast boyfriend. Yeah, that's what I'm hunting for.

Those pieces of art were 13 years apart. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, I guess like, yeah. You were right, though, in the sense that it is part of a series. Called the Four Freedoms, and that's the Freedom of Speech one. Whoa, I nailed heaps of that. Yeah. No, it's not quite a win, because it was built upon heaps of that.

Yeah. Okay, okay. I'm trying to find out of Goth. I mean, like, yeah, the mid-12th to the 16th century. So there's a lot of time. There's like a big error there. Yeah. And what, yeah, what was the...

I don't think bustles... I think, well, I know, because isn't the... There was definitely dress is designed to accentuate the posterior. But that, to me, to my eyes, tells me that we didn't have large dairy airs and we had to use our fashion. Well, it also, yeah, it depends what I guess the rich were doing. That's what I mean. It would have been the rich. If you're poor, you don't have a bustle or whatever.

I am also... That's expensive dresser. Also, like, a lot of the fashion is often the rich trying to, like, imitate... Hide deformities. No, yes, but also imitate, like, imitate, sorry, the pure. I'm maybe speaking from a place of, just as a fan, from maybe a place of ignorance. But I feel like these and double these, like, when we were in high school, sounded insane. Yeah.

Now, that's so normal. I mean, hey, all normal. Yeah, yeah. Are you saying you think in your lifetime, bro? breasts have gotten bigger. Yeah. I don't have the daughter on that. You might be right.

I'm just speaking as a fan. Now, do you think maybe, but actually the breasts have gotten bigger? Maybe popcorn you like to me. Yeah. Or it's just that now people are getting fitted for bras better. Oh, it could be. So it's like even though you're a...

So shout out to all our bra fitters, I think. You're doing a great job. Because like, you know, the whole thing about your bus size versus you do. Yeah. Cops size. Yeah, there's a lot of rules. And so like a lot of people are. It's like, well, you know, sometimes, you know, you're wearing the incorrect sizing.

That's why it is, you know, uncomfortable or whatever it is. And maybe it's just more now that we like... Do you think bra fitting technology's improved? Well, not just that. I think the knowledge, the awareness is improved. And there's like less shame or stigma about anything. Do you remember in high school when you found out a girl's bra size being excited about this information? Because this is a piece of pop culture where they go, did you hear she's got, you know, double Ds or whatever?

Like as though it was like a very exciting and a... erotic thing to learn. I don't remember if we ever learnt anything that does not ring a bell. That's like such a yeah. It was not part of my... You got to remember that Jackson was peak... I'm not a brass man. It was quite perver in high school. Yeah, yeah. Same. You're preaching the

choir. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, we don't have the same things for butts. Yeah, exactly. No one's having like, I got doubled the ass. But maybe they should. I'm in a room full of fools. Yeah. Hey, I wish I could appreciate it on the same level. I'm eating from one side of the trough. Yeah, dude. Not me. I'm gobbling up.

both sides having a wonderful time. This comes up every three to four episodes every episode. Every episode. It comes up, you kidding. Plumbing the Death Stars and people like to call it two assmen and an every man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Two and an ass. Hang on, there's something he got. Hang on. Get out the whiteboard. Two in the ass men. Men, men, men, men, men, men, ass. Two in the ass, man. Um, okay. Breast size have gotten bigger over the years, but it could be because of what Zammat just said

and also just general increase in weight or also maybe it is just increasing over time. The studies are so broad that they're like, we can't actually draw a conclusion. It's awesome if breasts are getting bigger and dicks are getting smaller. What does that mean? No hot doggins.

I mean, titty fucking. Hot dog is we could still do that. I mean, not as much, I guess. Well, no, I guess if dicks are getting slittler. Yeah, true. True, good point. You shouldn't know this. I know.

Now I'm starting to suspect you're a fraud. My ass man credibility. Credentials, I mean. Okay, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to take a leaf out of our old friend, Heights Man's book. I'm going to be Heights Man, okay? And then I'm going to take people off the streets of Gotham,

and I'm going to bring them really high up and just leave them really high up. Dangling over the streets. Like, dangling like Spider-Man style? Yeah, so I attach them between two buildings, I got ropes. Oh, yeah. And they're attached to the arms of my victims.

And I just dangle them and I go, not very nice to be this high up, is it? What about instead? Okay. If a similar kind of vibe, I don't know. I'm stepping into. No, please, come in. Crane man.

Okay. So you're still picking them up and suspending them from such great heights. And I like this as well because... But you're not just hype man, but you're a crane. You're really tired, though. Why am I tired? Yeah.

Because, like, you're terrorizing Gotham one person at a time. You've got to carry them up all those stairs. But with a crane. What I like about crane man is I've got two terrorizings going on there. One, the people and buildings and cars, why not? That I pick up with my crane, but also I'm stealing cranes. That's good. Which is funny, because cranes can't move.

They can just get you. Yes. Yes. You're all stationary while this is happening. Well, that's, I break into construction sites at night. It's because a crane killed my family. So you're taking revenge Let me tell you how my family died

Let me take how my family died, okay Okay, Heights Man's tragic back story This is Hightman's tragic backstory It was a regular family day out in Gotham And the park we were at was right next to a construction site And my parents, they really needed to use the toilet But the toilet at the park was closed So they had to go into the toilet on the construction site

And they both had to go in the same time Oh no! He was going to piss between her, like, Oh, that's romantic. It's romantic. That's a classic move I've never done. My God, is it appealing. Yeah.

And that was the point. It really is not a pierce on your thighs. Yeah, but like. Romantic, oh, I'm there. Crossing the streams mid falling into the clothing. Oh, no, I see it. I see the booty in it. Anyway, it's poetic.

As they got in there, rhymes. I don't think it's sexy. Yeah. But it's something powerful about it. It seems silly. Yeah. Okay, okay. For a silly time.

Yeah. The door closed, and as the door closed, they didn't see this, it said, condemned. And then a crane collected it, and let's say put it in one of those car crushes that turned it into a cube. And in my layer, I have the toilet cube that I weep over in my costume. It's sad to have. They like shook it a little bit so then your parents got all poopies. Yeah. I said, Batman, do you know what it's like to have your parents get all poopy?

Before they killed? Before they killed. Did they become cubes? Your parents were not so different, you and I, Batman. By this point, though, I've washed it. You've washed it off. That's sad, you've posed off your parents. You host off lots of poop.

That's the second tragedy of heights man, dude. I've cleaned the cube. I've got a kind of king pincell voice, and in doing so, I washed my parents down the drain. Can you imagine, Batman? It was stinking up the place. Why would you do that? I just said.

Why didn't you bury them? I wanted it here as a reminder of what can happen. Why didn't you wash them off into a grave? I wasn't thinking. I was distraught. Heights, man, your lack of intelligence really upsets me. And now I'm going to wreak havoc across the city of Gotham. Tell me your plan, Heights, man.

Okay. With my army of cranes, I'm going to pick up families And crush them into... I'm familiar with how cranes work. Pick up family cars. Cranes don't have a... Cranes don't have a claw. This one's got a magnetic sort of thing at the end of.

I mean, a crane can kind of have whatever you want it. Yeah, that's the beauty. That's the beauty of cranes. You can modify that crane for whatever you want. I think you're thinking of cranes, like the candy pickup crane. No, no, you can modify, you can put... You never seen a crane before. Yeah, cranes, cranes are...

Have you never seen a crane before, Batman? Cranes can't have magnets. I'm not arguing that, but I'm picking up your hands thing. I mean, if you... I mean, you probably, you know, you could if you wanted to... They make all kinds of things for crane. They put working balls on cranes sometimes. Well, I do that too.

I do that too. I do that too. That's what we're saying, Batman. This is my assistant Has Batman never seen a crane? He Hites, man Does Batman never seen a crane? It doesn't seem like it to be. A hook just can't pick up a family

But I guess you could pick up a car Yeah, yeah, yeah, if it's a grabby hand. Yeah. No, you can't put it. Grab me, grab me, it at the crane's unreal. He said he could pick up a family. I can invent one in my laboratory. Cranes attack!

And Batman's going to fight a series. I'll stop you, Heights, man. This is on you, Batman. man, I'm sorry. And then Batman's gonna... Little Crane. No, I... Why is this I'm...

You're working for him. Why is it on me? He's like a... You worked him up. You're confused. Well, you're confused all of us. I'm very confused. He's all crossed up there on me.

Oh, you're so confused. We shouldn't... We shouldn't terrorize Gotham. Cranes are attacking. Let's take a sit. All right. Cranes. Time out.

Time out of my cranes. I know a victory for Batman. And then, yeah, maybe I have an army of construction guys that are in my gang. Pissed off at Gotham. Yeah, exactly. Because the city doesn't pay him shit. Oh, yeah.

The crane man, I say this. I say, I'm facing away on like a rooftop and I say, who is the most high up man in the construction side? The foreman. The foreman? The guy in the crane. He meant literally. And he's so high up and everybody's having fun down on the construction side.

It's so funny to imagine the while you're giving this speech, the badman just kicks you You're like a megaphone like pointing down trying to like it What? The guy I said

The guy in the crane is so high up And everyone else is on the construction Because they're down on the construction They don't get This guy's isolated From everyone else He looks down They're laughing at something

He gets on the What are you laughing at? They go oh you wouldn't get it You're in the crane It's too long to just You know Sorry this is for us ground though We could explain it, but it's going to take too long.

So the guy in the crane, he becomes disenfranchised. It's also really funny because a crane, just because it's a person sitting in a box, for Batman, awesome fodder. He just, like, stands on a rooftop, which is his normal place to stand just to throw his one battering. He said exactly the right eye. The guy's like down the crane, which is at the rooftop. Batman just steps on it and starts walking. Hidesman?

Hidesman? I don't know. swing the crane you know what a fun fight to see Batman flinging the crane around I mean the crane trying to fling Batman off the crane

yeah walking between like again Batman does have ranged weapons wheel probably just battering the guy in the in the in the like yeah like it feels very more more of a Spider-Man

like swinging between cranes but he could do it with his grappling hook yeah has a grappling hook people don't talk about that but he's got one he's got it all

time. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Like, hey, nice to meet you, Jill. Do you know Batman has a grappling hook? So he can actually do what Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Jackson. Nice to meet you. Yeah. Um, yeah, and I think that's how I terrorized got. Because, you know, with a crane, like we were saying before, it can have any attachment.

Again, racking ball. Yes. Big magnet. Yes. Hook. Yes. Grabby hand. No. Why can't have a grabby hand.

Grabby hands on, unless you're making it for the, okay. Am I lost too much? Are you claiming that there's grubby hand claws out there or the Jackson Heights Man is making one? This is my claim. Step one, I could get one because I'm in Gotham City. I just need to hire a scientist. Okay, claim on, yes. Claim to probably out there is some kind of grabbing hand because why would there not be?

Yeah. But either way, I've got one. Yes, you have one. And I'm picking up a shipping container. You could just swing wildly people. Yeah, exactly. I'm flinging it around. My problem, my doubt, my kryptonite is that cranes are either stationary or very slow.

But I'm not there. Batman's fighting the crane goons. Where am I in the Heights Tower? The croons. Yeah, Batman's fighting the croons. He's fighting them croons. They've got big seas on there. Is the seas there for construction?

No, I'm a crane. I'm a crane goon. It's pretty humiliating of the gangs and got them. wouldn't have been my first choice to be a croon tried out for the joker, riddler, scarecrow, I was even happy to eat a penguin for the penguin or whatever

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but no I lost where the croon is. I'm a croon, unfortunately. I don't know how to operate a fucking crane. You have any panels there out? Probably, yeah, I guess like the problem is based on things we've seen with Batman and his skill set,

because a crane is a metal arm with a big strong wire hanging down holding onto something, I feel like Batman has a lot of things in his disposal that would stop that. Absolutely. He'd either be able to cut the... Yeah, throw a bat an arm, snap the cable.

And it would drop it. Or he could use like a grappling hook, I imagine, to pin the cable back to the crane. Yes, true. Whatever you're swinging just swings back into the crane. Oh, oh. Plus, it's just so easy to imagine the Batmobile like rounding the crane, which cannot get away.

Yeah. Just firing explosives at the plane. face of it. This might be back to your advantages. You're trying to get away at a crane going very slow. He just like overshoots completely.

He's like, he's got to a Ui, he's keeps overshooting. Eventually he gets out. It just starts to walk. Yeah. Ah ha ha, Batman.

Get out. Get out. Get out. Also being up. Yeah. For a regular man, you are very high up. For a man with a grappling hook

and a cape that he glides with all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Straight up. He comes up to me To me in Heights Tower I like to think my real name is

Carl Raine And I run a crane business In Gotham You know Called Heights Tower He's just gonna hold He's gonna swing in through the window Yeah

Grab you hold you out over the window And I'm just simple Carl Raine I'm in the middle of a meeting I know your secret height man To ship one million cranes Into Gotham He's not slamming you into the side of the building It's not even a crime

It's not even a crime What I like about this This person who's terrorizing Is that you've got this like Almost Silver Age kind of All of them is called a villain Like a very silly

Very slapsticky kind of villain Which then could go even Like further stupid Yeah Where at some point Like you know In the redesign of Crane Man They gave Crane Man

Cranes for arms Yes absolutely But like he's a bit more Hulking Like a bit more of your Like a big bruiser And so he's got like big hooks when he's hand,

these crane arms where he's like throwing shit at Batman. And then for the more like the intellectual Batman it's just the guy who's running the docks. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, in the Nolan Batman trilogy where they need to reference Crane Man, he's just the guy who runs the docks and organizes the cranes. Hi, I'm Carl Rain and you're in the cinema like, I know him.

That's fucking the greatest comic book character of all the time. Crane man. I mean, Heights, man. I'm clearly going to point at this. You're saying that I'm like, Hey, that's a guy who sucks. Yeah.

Oh, come on, dude. You know I love heights, man. You get writing credits on this? No. Not getting paid shit, dude. It could just be like, yeah, the corrupt, like, whoever gets all the shipments that ever there is coming to Gotham. He's a working class hero, crane man, you know?

Working class villain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. No, no, no. What is he doing that would be, you know, I'm getting money. I'm getting money for the disenfranchised construction workers in the crane by robbing banks with my cranes and then paying your workers with the

money. The stolen money, yes. Or like, again, when you're doing a bit more gritty down to like you do Earth kind of stuff. It's just like you're just running the like the shipments and you're very corrupt. Yeah. So you're the person like if something needs to get in and out of Gotham like you know, you're the company that people go to.

They come to me. You control the docks. I control. The man who controls the cranes controls the docks. The city. Exactly. This city is held up by a thousand cranes Batman. This sky scraper was... Did you say scryscraper?

Sorry, did you say scry scraper? I did not. I said... It's windy. I don't know if I heard there. Croons. He doesn't even know what he fights for. Crunes, don't listen to him. The croons stay tuned on me. Give us a better name!

Scrib Craper or whatever you said? It's very funny. I'll kill you. Any like Batmanville just does like a little speech to like they just a little stumble like Oh no, I'm done Batman, can we please

Can we just take it from the top Or we need to go past this I think it's also so funny to have a really To be crane man And then any crane based Like Oracle getting on Batman And being like hey Somebody's using a crane to break into a bank

In like Lower Gotham I mean we know who it is There's no mystery here I mean hey it could It's either I would say one of two people One crane man Sorry I can't

or to the Joker Yeah Well, because I'm high The Joker's kind of anything That's true So like anyone's gimmick Yeah, he could just do Yeah, so if a gimmick

I'm being framed It's not me back man I'm out of the game Penguin to blow up the president Yeah Could be the penguin Could be the penguin Could be the Joker

Could be the Joker Framing the penguin Funny gag But I can also I can I can you know Cranes is That's just the highest vehicle Yeah

planes are higher than Cranes Yeah He's right He's bad. Alicopters? I mean, they can go higher than a crane. Yeah, well, that would be... Just being a guy that's on top of a building.

I would have the Heights Copter, which would be a helicopter. With a crane. With a crane. No, there's a crane on top of Heights Tower, and it hooks under the helicopter and then spins around and flings it into the sky. So, that's how I get Batman. I say, Batman, join me. Maybe we can settle this like men. Come with me on my helicopter.

He sits it in the helicopter, and it gets picked up by a crane. And I say, croons now! Foo, foo, foo, foo, fling! And as we're flying into the sky, I say, I was born. You merely adopted Heights, Batman. I was born into it. Who can be the highest stop?

I thought, your parents died at Port-a-Puddy. Yes. Anyway, I've got a cape I can glide with sea. Fum. Uh-oh, uh-oh. The helicopter's getting too high up. Yeah, and I train myself to be perfectly adapted to be high up. Yeah.

You should need to breathe. Yeah, but I would train myself like the people who live up at high altitudes and they don't need as much oxygen. So then when he's not being up so high, he can run for quite a long time. Exactly. Hold my breath for a long time. But being very low down makes me sick. Never mind. So Batman, if I go into the sewers or is your crypto night just, my kryptonite is being below sea level.

Below sea level. Yeah. When I'm being driven around by my croons and we like just take a dip into a tunnel. It's like when Superman touched a crime tonight. I'm all like, I'm like, please. Why is that country that's like below sea level or like whatever? You're like, you can never go.

It would kill me. It would kill me to be that low. I wonder if you have an answer is. Is Gotham below sea? No, because it does get flooded. It does get flooded. That's true. I guess it would be.

It becomes below sea level but that's not accent The seas on top Because it's dam You forget the seas on top But it In the recent film

The Batman Gotham is depicted As being below sea level Yeah Because if the dam Or something broke The levee say And then water comes rushing

And if it was above the sea level It would not flood Therefore Govvvv Vee Well that's why I'm high up all the time I never walk on the ground. He's going to get sick.

Yeah. I'll get really sick. The ground floor on Gotham is Krypton knife. I feel like Batman's just going to take you down to the ground. Oh, wow. You can't be. You're killing.

I need to be high up, Batman. Take me to tall prison. Yes. Even as a child, Batman, I was obsessed with being high up. My parents couldn't understand it. I don't know if you're doing enough to, like, terrorize Gotham itself. Okay. He's real.

fucking around with the cranes. The cranes, you forget the cranes. I haven't forgotten the cranes. The cranes can only do so much. Even, even, even cranes and croupes, you forget the cranes and crudes. Even with every crane in the city, suddenly all at once turning on Gothen. My master plan. Yeah. Like how many cranes do you reckon are active in Gotham? Well, that's because I've got like a crane that's on the top of building could then like, you know, rip itself on. Well, you don't want to do that because then you're down the crane. You just destroy the building the crane is on.

Yeah. And then, yeah, I guess if you want like mass destruction. Well, because my master plan is all of the... But you also don't want to destroy buildings because Gotham's below sea level. Yeah, I got really sick. No, but so I go to all of that because the... Your plan should be to make Gotham taller, not tear it down. Jack it up.

Yes. Because you're stronger the higher up. That's true. But instead you're knocking down the city? No. How do I get Gotham higher off? You don't have a plan at all. Well, that was, I had a plan prior to me.

A plan was... A lot of cranes, and then they attached to the other buildings, and you use those cranes to lift. Yeah. Okay, yeah. My plan is thus. Well, that crane is also attached. One year ago, I go to all of the crime families that run the construction in Gotham,

and I say, hey, I represent Heights industry. Yeah. You know, not rain industry? No. I'm a heights man, not crane, man. Yeah. Your name's Carl Raine. Yeah, and his height, man.

And I say, I say, oh, you know, Falcons, you know, what I need you to do. And I run a crane business. And so we're going to import, you know, 1,000 cranes in the Gotham. That's so good cranes. One thousand height man cranes. Yeah. I mean, height industry's cranes. Okay.

Yeah. And they come in. What are you brought them? Well, they go to construction sites all over the city. Alex Hamilton is the city that's never finished. Yeah. Okay, and that's on the outskirts of the city. And then the stroke of midnight, New Year's Eve, while everyone's distracted,

my cranes dig into the earth and pick up Gotham. I love that out of every single time, like every single moment of the year, when is the moment where people are looking into the sky the most? Well, this is the outskirts of Gotham. It's like, it's weird. It's taking them a whole year. But like all these different little constructions are happening. It's a perfect circle.

How curious. Around the Gotham. And for some reason they're putting the cranes all the way down they have it. They're attaching them deep in the earth to the base stone that Gotham was built upon. And Batman, he's just noticed it on New Year's Eve. But he's too distracted by the fireworks. Batman loves fireworks. All of the robins.

They're looking up, but not at the cranes. No. Even further off. Yeah. They look at the firework. cranes look weird? No? Oh, the fireworks look awesome. You look up, but not up and off.

You decorate all the cranes with banners because they're like Happy New Year. So it's very distracting. I look too up. Yeah. You missed the cranes and then while you were too busy looking at the beautiful fireworks, you miss the cranes.

Now, croons! And the cranes lift Gotham from the bad rock and raise it up. So much. suspended by cranes so much tension you can't stop me batman if you destroy one crane gotham will come crashing down he who controls the cranes controls all this all of a sudden's not a bad plan exactly right because if batman tries to do anything you just like drop the city drop the city Batman thousands will die live in my crane

utopia this is what you get for crushing I'm not talking to Batman I'm talking to Gotham, the city. This is what you get for crushing my parents into a toilet cube. Then I put my hand on it and I go, I did it mom and dad. You proud of me? Are you proud of me now? It's crazy that this has come together. No more crane will ever again.

I don't know how to stop that. Crane man? Yeah. How do you can't stop? Crane man. Because if Gotham is now suspended by many, many, many, many. A thousand cranes allegedly. A thousand cranes. They're the strongest. They're like it's

That titanium or adamantium Cranes or whatever, yeah. Made from the ur metal or whatever. Yeah, exactly. I guess the way you stopped at is Batman kills me. Well, not kills me. He puts me in Arkham Asylum in a crane-themed cell. Yeah, but how does that...

But then the city can work to slowly... Because the cranes have pulled it up. Yeah. But they're not... Yeah, you can slow. He's got to do it in tandem. Yeah, exactly. Because I was thinking in my head, I was like,

oh, the croons have the... Yeah. But then I was like... They're just cranes. Yeah, but if you upset one of them, they can just be like... Yeah, they can just lower the city. And then if you drop one, then they all snap the city... When Batman's got me in Arkham and he's got me, like, pushing me to myself, I say,

you destroy one crane and the rest will fall. Yeah, you put on like, yeah, dead man switches, etc. So it's like, you destroy one, they all fall, you destroy me, they all fall. I am the cranes. I am the highest up man in a hole. What was that? Above so. level, right?

No, no, no. I need to be above sea level, man. Oh, no, no, no. It's so funny. Like, you know, sometimes in Arkham, they have to go to a cell that's like deep underground

because it's like killer crooks too crazy. One that's just slightly level. I'm so sick. Oh, my God's absolutely bad. It's so sick. That's a good way to, look. You've terrorized Gotham very well.

Thank you. I was thinking as a way terrorized Gotham. And I kind of was like, well, what's like, you know, sort of like an enemy of a bat, like a predator of a bat. It turns out a predator of a bat is bigger bats.

Whoa. So I'm a bigger Batman. I'm big Batman. Oh, that's really good. And my name is the Woosbrain. Wuss Brain, the big Batman. That's crazy because Lus Brain seems like loose brain is what we all have. Yeah.

And I want to kind of be like a bizarre or. Batman but it's like maybe how much bigger like not like a foot yeah or a few inches almost like you know it's just like you know that tall yeah but I am bigger though did you do all of the same things Batman did um did you train in like to bat and stuff yeah I'm trying to think like yeah yeah did you train big yeah I trained big so they doing lots of the Batman did just big like how absolute Batman is now where he's just this giant whole dude that yeah that's what you're like I'm Big Batman.

Yeah. But he's not smart. It's all you say, I'm big Batman. That's just his cashphrase. It's a good catchphrase. I'm big Batman. I'm Big Batman. No, no gravel voice.

I'm Big Batman. I'm Big Batman. You got to sound like a fully grown toddler. I'm Big Batman. I'm a big Batman. Yeah. It's like, I'm not a big Batman. I'm regular-sized Batman, I guess.

Cloning exists in the realm of DC. All right, so imagine, like, Luther, who's, yeah, maybe, like, if they've Luther somehow decided to, like, I'll do something like, radiac. Yeah. With the Gotham. Whoever the fuck decided to, like, clone Bruce Wayne. Okay. And they just kind of just got him as, like, he's got the brain of a toddler, but he's all, he's just bigger. So when they were, when, say, Lex Luthor, when Lex Luthor, when Lex Luthor was making a Batman clone, he went, let's go 20% bigger.

Yeah, and he didn't notice when he did that, that it went 100% less brain. Yeah, he went 20% bigger and his elbow accidentally hit Toddler mark. Yeah. He should never have had that as a moment. I don't know why he'd stole it. The smoke clears and he's like, yeah. Oh, big Batman. Oh, oops.

Big Batman. Big Batman. But he's a baby. Whistrain. You're going to go kill Bruce Wayne. Yeah. Does he, and he walks like a toddler. Like a big toddler.

I want him to have, like, the toddler proportions, but like if you'd worked out a lot. Like a muscular toddler. Like, wow. Oh, baby. Like, huge calves. Yeah. Like, you know, his calves are about as big as, like, both my quads together. Whoa.

That's just the calves and the forearms. And your plan is to then go and kill Batman? Because this started as you being the natural predator of Batman, but then you've given yourself a toddler brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he wants to, and, like, you kind of, I guess he wants to play with Batman. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're hoping for...

Maybe he sees in his... Like, he sees Batman as his bigger brother that he wants to just play with. Which is funny because he's bigger Batman. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're... Well, this is a complex story.

It's an intellectual, you know... Comics aren't just for kids. No, I'm hearing that more or more. When you pick up your latest issue of big Batman. Yeah, this could be on the DC black label of what it's called. Oh, wow, this is going to really challenge my mind. What if Batman had a toddler...

That was bigger than... Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, it's Batman v. Big Batman. Is the idea that now Big Batman... I don't want to hurt you. You're clearly a child. You have a child's brain, but in a body's slightly bigger than mine. And then, like, he just goes in for a hug, and he's crushing. I can't picture that cover.

A Batman traveling around. Oh, no, I've been caught by a guy bigger than me, but with the brain of a toddler. Oh, no, Big Batman. He's caught me. And then, like, imagine the cover, because all in, like, you know, shape. and, like, shadow, and it's, like, Batman's cow. Yeah. And it's, like, all dark, whatever.

And it's just, like, a very happy grin. Yeah, yeah. And, like, real, like, odd proportions. Well, we've played the video game Resident Evil Eight. There is a very deeply upsetting moment of that involving a big baby. Yeah, big babies are scary. Yeah. Yeah.

I think if you, like, if Batman's not ready to have his head sucked on. Yeah. By something bigger than him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that would frighten him. I think it would. It would frighten me. Now, don't suck on my head like a lollipop.

I don't want that, dude. And then, like, yeah, imagine, he scared my eyes would pop out. Yeah, big Batman. He's just, like, he goes to Batman's arm, and he's like, howl. And he just tries to bite it a bit. Uh, yeah.

Okay, okay. So you're a toddler, not a baby. Yeah, so I'm a mat, well, yeah. They're your first teeth. Well, he's like, he's bat, like, he's Batman. He's got, like, he's an adult body. He's a toddler proportions. Yeah, the toddler proportions is what's throwing me off.

100%. Okay, I get it, I get it. And he toddler's brain. Oh, yeah. Cuddle's brain. There's a lot of room to learn, you know. That's true. I think you run the risk of Batman being like,

I need to make him a Robin, basically. Welcome to the Bat family, Big Batman. Or as I like to call you, Big Robin. Yes, dude. I think the press would call you beat. Batman and Big Robin? Oh, that's really good, dude. Little Batman and Big Robbins.

Yes. Yeah. And I question, similar with how you question me, Are you terrorizing Gotham? Or are you terrorizing Batman? I mean, that would stress me out if I was a citizen of Gotham. And I go...

Because imagine this, like, you're one of like, say, Cray... Oh, no, it's the bat. And then it's like, oh, I'm big Batman. You're like, oh, God, it's the Big Batman! Is that how Batman always sounded? I would assume if that happened that Dr. Gerald...

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation had happened. Big Batman's Batman experimenting on himself to become bigger. Yeah, okay, but it's fucked his brain up. And then I would think that that's just a permanent thing until I saw regular Batman again. I'd be like, Dr. Jack or Mr. Hyde. Yeah, that's true.

Also, like, you know, he's got like maybe a bit more, a bit more, like, I think he's a bit stronger than bad. Yeah, that's what I was imagining. Like, almost like, not quite bane levels of strength, but like, you know, fairly strong. And so Batman's really got to, like, rassel this big Batman, so he stops causing. and some havoc.

Yeah. It's really easy to picture that, you know, you remember Batman the animated series? Yeah. How they had the, like, the opening and the final shot is like Batman's silhouette. That, but behind him is a bigger Batman. They just sucks on his head.

Walking like a toddler. Seeing that as a citizen of Gotham, I would be like, the Batman are eating each other. How easy is it to imagine this big, hulking, big baby Batman? Yeah. Just like seeing there in a diaper

with a Batman dummy. It's so unpleasant. I hate bags. I'm terrified. Yeah, little little toddler proportions. But, like, he's his, he's bigger than a regular man. Yeah, I'm terrorized by just the vibes, not even by anything you're doing. I'd be worried that, like, he's not done growing.

Yeah, that's also a very good point. I love the idea of the in Bruce. Where are his parents? There's Luthorpe's giant people. Just Lex Luthor being like, kill Batman. I love the idea of going into, like, Wayne Tower or whatever. But Batman, in his secret. entity is Bruce Wayne also has his baby Batman or big Batman with his secret

identity of Woosbane yeah but just like sitting there like a normal man in the office when you come in to talk to him who's that just imagine him like having like baby teeth yeah oh that's awful yeah that's kind of like diaper baby teeth be toddler's body but a man yeah yeah yeah he's dressed like Batman I'm assuming yeah okay okay um I would be terrorized I don't think I would want to live in this city Just because it's yark. Yeah, it's yucky to think about. Yeah, like, you know, Batman tried to, like, get him in a papoose, but he's like, you're so much bigger than me.

Well, he can maybe put him, Bain's pretty big. Maybe he could get Bain to look after him. Oh, yeah. The trek with a big Batman is you need to find a bigger Bander. Big Alfred. Maybe that's the go. You just need to, Batman just needs to find biggest Alfred. He comes, Master Wayne, is something that matter with your giant son?

He's not my son, Alfred. You know that. He's not my son. Yes, Alfred. I need to find the biggest Alfred. Well, I'm happy to give you my DNA, Master Bruce, to make the biggest Alfred you can. Thank you so much, Alfred.

Bruce Wayne does something he never thought he'd do. He has to go to Lex Luther and be like, I need you to make me a big Alfred. Yeah, dude. What's that thing about building a bigger mouse trap or whatever? Building a bigger Alfred. But you don't want to make an Alfred that's too big and tries to bottle the entire city. Oh, no.

That's the real downside. Would anybody like some dinner? I've put the kettle on. The big kettle on. He puts a big kettle down in the middle of Gotham. Scoops a bunch of sea water up. That's not drinkable, Alfred. It'll be boiled.

I don't think that'll help. In a cup of tea, you kidding me? I'm imagining him like Kai Ju-Level. Yeah, me too. And that's when Batman's like, I can never defeat a bigger Alfred because I, it's Alfred. I can't do this. Bigger Batman. Oh, he can.

I need a bigger joker. Biggest joker. Who can defeat Big Alfred, the big joker? Okay. What's the enemy of a butler? Changing times. Yeah, enemy of a butler, the pantry. Yeah.

Big clock. Yeah. Big clock. Batman makes a big clock. Gotham's looking ridiculous. Batman's like in, just being like, everything's gotten so big. I've got the perfect solution.

Big Gotham. Makes Gotham bigger and everyone that's big now is normal size. That's really smart. And everyone is normal is real small. He could make likely have bizarer Gotham. He could make bigger Gotham that he could put bigger Batman in. And then biggest. Well, biggest got them.

Biggest of the really big Alfred. Yeah. That's a good idea. I think there's something really lonely and sort of haunting about a completely empty Gotham. Except for one bottle. A giant. Oh, yeah. It was his normal size for him.

He just wanders around trying to bottle, but there's no one to bottle for you. No one to bottle. That's so sad. That's like, I guess it's sort of Wally coded. Yeah, it is Wally coated. He's just bottling. He's making cups of teeth. Or fall out four coated.

Yeah, that's sad. There's a robot butler at the start of that. Does feel like you're setting like the biggest Alfred up to be a villain to try to make biggest citizens of Gotham so that he has someone to bottle. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or like the biggest Bruce Wayne. Yeah, over time, he's developed, you know, some scientific theory and has created biggest Batman.

And then Biggest, Alfred, a biggest Batman, come back to regular-sized Gotham. How's Batman going to handle that? But in this time, bigger Batman's been trained and he's about like a 12 years of Yeah, he's coming into his body a little more. Yeah, he's a bit more confident with his walking. I will say, a giant Alfred, you know who you need for that, dude? Crane Man and the Crude. We can hook him up, dude.

Send him out to sea or whatever. Cray Man and the Crudes. I like that you hate the biggest Alfred more than bigger Batman. Although what could happen here, though, is, well, with biggest Alfred. Yeah. Heights man could sit in his shoulder. Oh, that's true. Then you'd always be high up

Like a ratatooia Like a ratatoo I could build a little house On the top of his head Yeah With your cranes Yeah Rule the city from there

Your cranes could take up All the building materials you need To the top of Alfred's head Yeah exactly Move it like up from his feet To the top of his head You'd have a whole You'd have a moving city

Yeah dude You'd be And I'm so high up Imagine how strong I'd be And like he just would love to bottle So yeah Can I help you Master rain

Do you need any more wood Master rain Picks it picks up a big thing of lumber, there you go. And you're like, he's making my cranes obsolete. He must die. He must die. Just drooling it to his head.

Oh, must rain. This is a problem of, like, evil men. Their downfall is just encoded. It's true. The seed of destruction, you know? You could give Alfred a lobotomy through the top of his head. And then you are ratatooing. That's true.

install a giant crane on his head. Oh, yeah. And I hollow out his skull and live inside the head. And then when big a Batman sees, he's like, dad, he's very confused. Dad, no! And then, yeah. Dude, it would fuck up Batman, regular-sized Batman so much to be like, the layer of this guy's inside the skull of my father figure.

Come in, Batman. Take a seat. I'm in your dad's head. I hope you notice how high up we are. I'm at my peak power. It was just regular Alfred looking at this being like, what have you done?

What have you done? You should kill that, man. And I would call the big Alfred Crawford, Crawford, Crane Alfred. Yeah, Crawford.

Crawford. Cralford. Craneworth. Yeah, well, Pennyworths. I understood what you did there. Crelford Raineywood? Yeah. Something to that effect.

Well, it's crazy, because I was just going to terrorize Gotham just with like, uh, I was gonna say time travel, but not just unlimited time travel. Just like short distance or short duration time travel. Okay. How short we talk? Yeah. Like a couple minutes? Or like an hour?

Let's say one minute. Okay, one minute time travel. Because then basically all this happening is it's basically like Batman's fighting someone that can freeze time. Oh yeah, true. You go back in time. You could dodge every blow that way shortly. Yeah, but also just like be more annoying. Just like he'll go to open the Batmobile. Yeah. But I like go back in time and move. How am I gonna move? No, because not, It's not freezing time. Fuck. No.

Well, you could do, I guess, because you're terrorizing the citizens of... I can put a rock in front of his foot so then, no, because it's... I would know where he's going to run, so I could put a rock where his foot's going to land so he trips over. Yeah. Are you time traveling a minute in the past or the future, which is I'm... I think we've been here before. This one involves less punching, though.

Or is it, like, certain objects or whatever? Say you have, like, a certain time gun. If you shot it, it moved forward. back in time of minute. Okay, you know what? To avoid accidentally picking something I believe I've picked before, not your point of that out, it's a time gone.

Okay. And I'm time gone Jones. Because I can imagine at street, like, you know, at street lights, you could just shoot it and like it's a, you know, quickly becomes a minute later. Oh, that's great. Everyone is like, you know,

he causes lots of havoc. Yeah. Chies are crashing. If Batman runs at you, you can just keep shooting. You're going a minute back. Yeah. How many shots does your,

time gun have? Does it have a half? I have to reload like a regular pistol. It's got six shots. Like is a six shooter or is it more of a modern? No, it's, I would say eight bullets. It's got a magazine. A time magazine. A time magazine. Nice. Very good. Very clever.

It's awesome. It's also like Batman's running at you and you're like he goes back to a minute and you just run out. Fuck! I don't reload my time magazine. How can you shoot your own gun

so that you can try to get like, you know, like what about if you have two barrels? Oh, no, what I could do, I'm just going to make sure so I got to reload. Yeah. I mean, two barrels will fixers too, but also like because like the way guns work is all the, it doesn't suck the boards

directly out of the magazine. There's one in the chamber. Yeah. So just wait for the magazine to be empty and then just shoot that. It goes back a minute. That's true. You're unstoppable time gun jokes. But I do have to shoot my own magazine, which is scary.

What if I shoot my hand and my hand goes back one minute? You start put on the ground and shoot it and then pick it up. That's probably smart. You've got one gun, you've got a reloading gun and with reloading bullets

and a time gun and you run out of time bullets put it on the ground, shoot it with the reloading and pick it up again. You're dual pistilling just like, you know, seven shots, put it down, bang, okay?

Seven shots put it down, bang, all right. You'll never stop me, Batman. I'm time gun, Joe. The re-you don't want to get your time got a reloading gun, confused either. I shoot him out with a reload gun, and all of a sudden he's just got 10 battle rings again.

Oh. Oh, fuck. Time, time, time. Then you get that scary moment where you've got to put your gun on the ground. That's what he gets you, dude. As I was like, yeah, you could, like, try, like, I know I'm going to, like, reload.

Yeah. So if I shoot myself a minute in the future, I'll have already reloaded. Oh, that's true. Bill and Ted rules. Skip the reloading. Oh, actually, because if I throw... Okay, so...

Yeah. I would have to put... No, because... I do like that. Pch-pch-pch-pch-pch-pch-ch-you-foot. All right, I reload it. I love it as well. But you've got to make sure...

Because they're not causing damage, right? I like the idea. Yeah, I love that. All you can do is delay the inevitable. Funny for, like, a whole shootout when Batman's just running at me and I just said it you should have to send him

one minute it's like yeah yeah shooting you shoot you sound with like in the future you've got like a black eye oh I know what's gonna happen

it is funny the only thing that's gonna you're gonna get tired eventually yeah but he's running I'm standing still he's gonna get tired first exactly you hope a Batman gives up

this isn't worth it this isn't working yeah that's how I win Batman. Throw the Batarang. You shoot him, he goes back in time. Batarang is your head. But could I hurt Batman if he throws a

batterang and I shoot it to go back one minute? Does the battering go back to him and hurt him? Well, it depends where he is moved in that minute. Yeah, it depends on the time travel rules. Because if the batarang appears where it used to be, but Batman's moved, but if Batman's like shifted slightly and it appears in his leg that can fuck him up, you know?

I trick him into standing still. Yeah. And then, no, that doesn't work. You got to trick him to take your step to the side somehow. Yeah, but if he takes a step to the side... He throws the baton at you. You hope you hit the battering out of you. I'm about to be really sore.

It's like, yeah, if you start shooting your time gun at Batman and, like, you're missing. Like, what's... What are you hitting behind him? Oh, what a car is driving past while I'm shooting. I shoot the car, goes back a minute, maybe it hits Batman now. Well, what you could do, okay, so you have two guns. Hit him with a rock, shoot it again, and then the rock comes back, hits him again.

You got two guns in a rock and a holster. You throw the rock at Batman's head. It hits him. Yeah. Then you just shoot the rock. I would have to wait. So it's like, goes back into your pocket. I would have to hit it.

No, because then I'm scared. And you might as well shoot the rock with your reload gun. Or shoot yourself with the rest. what if surely there's some way to continually hit Batman in the head with a rock

I would have to shoot the rock exactly I would have to throw the rock so it hits just under a minute yes before so then I can shoot it but then it would already be in motion

yeah you shoot it so it goes back to the midpoint of its trajectory and hope Batman doesn't step out of the way yeah yeah I like how I'm going to join this dude My favorite thing about him is that he will get attacked eventually.

Yeah, well, yeah, if Batman has, you know, a member of the bat family come up behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Punch you in the back. And then... Why, you've got two guns? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but one only, sadly only reloads. Yeah.

It's people like, isn't that also a time gun? I'm like, yeah, but I can only use it for reloading. Why? Oh, just a rule I have. Just a rule. I'm from the future. Yeah. In the future, you can have two guns, but you can't...

One has to be for reloading. That's on Billboard. And then people like, remember, you can have two guns, but you can't, one has to be free loading. You're a real strong messaging. In my mind, for some reason, as well, it was you pointing. I like the idea, you were the president. I like the idea of keep claiming that I'm from the future, but I'm one minute, like, I'm from one minute in the future. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In one minute, I will invent the time gun, which will send me back one minute so I could finally kill Batman. Yeah, I like that I don't know your motor. at all. I'm from the future. From one minute in the future. Okay? Still counts. Yeah, you don't know this, but a minute from now, Batman slightly slided me.

I think he snubbed me, and that real piss me off. So I invent the time gun to come back one minute to kill Batman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really cool, dude. Well, yeah, I'm wondering, like, I mean, one minute is, I'm not doing a lot, but like, what if it's a five-minute time gun? Okay, you go back to your time layer. Yeah. I do it up.

could do, like, if you had, like, a little dial or whatever on your time guns, or bullets. Yeah. Like, it's a five minute, like, you know. Because five minutes could do a lot more damage if I shot Batman to five minutes ago. Because Batman's doing a lot of shit. Yeah. So if I sent him physically back to where he was five minutes ago, that could immediately put him in harm's way. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. So I guess, is it more of a space gun in that you're shooting, say, Batman, whoever, with the bullet, and that's sending them through space, but where they were or would be, depending if it's a future or past. The way we've been describing it is, yes, it works like that, but it is funny to think that I am sending them back in time and therefore just creating branching timelines. So pretty much I'm just creating infinite realities where I get punched in the head. It's just every time you're shooting, like, another Batman appears, slightly a bit

behind the other Batman. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I need to recalibrate the time. We've got no time. And suddenly like 16 Batman just punch you in the face of one. I've created the safest Gotham. Yeah, that's true. Terrorized Gotham but making 16 Batman accidentally.

Because what can you do with five minutes that you can't do with one? Well, because if it's physically, like, it's putting something back in time, but it is still staying, say I shoot you at 12 p.m. Yeah. And it sends you back to where you were at 1155 a.m. Yeah. And there's no other changes. It's just like teleporting you basically.

Then yeah, there's uses for that as a weapon. Well, I suppose you can also like... But if it's creating a branching timeline. Or you're sending them back into the current timeline. Less about branching timelines and you're going to send... Giving them more time to prepare. Come copies of themselves. So if I'm bad man five minutes in the past and then he comes a...

behind you and punches you in that. Yeah, yeah, you said Batman. He disappears, but then... Batman appears five minutes in the past. I'm watching my watch, I'm like, it's 1159, I haven't seen him yet. He appears five minutes of past next to where he was. He's like, oh, hey, me, wait, you're going to walk over there

trying to punch the Time Young Goats? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to a pin some movement. Or even, like, even if it's not creating another... If it's... If it's just Batman going back and teleporting back to that space by himself, he's like, oh, well, I'm fighting Time Gun Jones. so I know what's happening.

I'm just going to take a different route towards him because I like that in this scenario, Time Gun Jones is expecting him to do exactly the same thing. I can do this forever, Batman. I reckon maybe 30 seconds. Oh, like less time. Like even less time, because that's going to be way more disorientating. Yeah, that's true.

And then you're more likely to have them do the same thing over and over and over against for a bit more. If you were sent 30 seconds into the past, you would not be sure. if you'd been sent into the past. What if it's like something less, but also could have confusing amount, like 11 or 13 seconds? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would throw you off so much. Yeah, because initially you'd been shot and you'd be like, oh, no, I'm that to be shot, and then you'd be a bit further back and you'd be like, oh, mid run. Maybe I'm okay? I don't think, and then you get shot again. Like, what is going on?

Can you use this to commit crimes in Gotham somehow? Wait, hang on. I'd be like, hey. Wait, five minutes? Yes, 11 seconds, harder. Have a question about your time gun. Okay, so Batman is walking towards you and you shoot him, right? And say it's a 15 second thing.

He goes back to where he was 15 seconds ago. You then shoot him again. But 15 seconds ago, he was closer to you. So I'm making the shot harder for me, but he is getting further away. Yeah, but no, but to him, his time is when, like 15 seconds ago, he was actually when he was when he was first shot. Yes. So he would be, you shoot him again. Would he go closer to you?

Or would he go 15 seconds prior to where he... Well, that's how I could do it. If it's like, if you get hit twice even that 15 seconds, you stuck an infinite time loop. Oh, that's... Yeah, that's true. Time loop them. Yeah.

Enjoy. And then while you're just shooting Batman, you're robbing a bank with a normal gun. There's a normal gun. But like, if you want, we could switch. You could be in a time loop. I wouldn't recommend it. Look at Batman.

He's having a terrible time. Having three guns labeled time reloading a normal is so funny. Or bang, it's my bank. Your bang gun, you want to put that your bag gun to quickly pull up your reload gun. Not with a G with a K. Bank gun. Bank gun. Put your bank gun to pick up your reload gun to shoot your gun to put that there.

Okay, anyway, so give me the money. I also love that if you pulled out, if I knew you was Time Gun Jones, you pull out a bank gun, I don't know what that, I'm like, is it going to shoot a bank? Is it going to make money Is this some of their money guns? I think question me I'm offended I'm like It shoots bullets

At the bank Yeah I rob banks With my bank Gun Okay Excuse me time You're one second away

I'm always talking about stuff in time Yeah Batman in the background Listen here Batman You're four and a half seconds away from getting on my nerves The bank teller

Like, so do you shoot the bank or am I saying? Yeah, you're going to shoot me or the bank? What are you warning, Zach? You go to the bank right now, but then you pull up your shirt and you've got a gun that says you want it. But be careful, buddy. Like bank teller gun. Oh, I see. It's so funny of God that says you.

You're like, is it for shooting you? Yeah, you. What's someone for for shooting you? That one, I will say, time gunjourners, that's the scary. That's a pretty good threat. You've got so many guns. Just covered in them. But they all have a very particular...

Very specific purpose. Do I think we can team up in some way to take down Gotham once and for all? I don't know if our power is a sort of synergistic. Well, Big Batman and Crane, man. Sorry, Heights, man. Combined it pretty well. Yeah. Well, I have the money, you know, from my crane business.

If you go too low, I could shoot you with my time gun and send you into the future where you'll less low. That's true. Maybe you can somehow keep me afloat. We're using a time loop. Yeah, okay. Can we attach a nuke to one of my cranes? So if you put a crane in a time loop of going both like pulling and then releasing and pulling and then releasing. Yeah, okay. To what end?

Yeah. Can we make Gotham... Like, if we... Okay, how's this? Can we flee to Gotham? How's this? We shake the fuck out of Gotham. Everyone's going to feel so sick.

So sick. Okay. Because, look, big Batman, he loved to shake things. That's what he loved to do. He likes to pick a thing up. We want to shake it. But he's only one Batman. He's only one big Batman.

He can't do all the cranes. But with time loops out. Yeah, exactly. With Time Gun Jones, you should be... Batman and we can like get again and then we could shake all the cranes yeah to really shake the absolute fuck out of Gotham really shake the shit out of gossip citizens are nauseous vibrate the fuck out of Batman's kind of unsteady on his feet is he comes over to try to find

this is a bat quake again everyone's gonna get fucking sea legs yeah exactly we're gonna fuck them off they're gonna get so much vibrations they might get CTE yeah what now batman Your whole city's can cost. What are you going to do about it? It's like, what do you want to stop this? Big Batman looked like he was having fun. Yeah, Big Batman likes to shake things. So, he's there holding a...

Do you have money? You need him, like something? Big Batman's holding, I don't know, like a bit of door. Just shaking, holding it like he's won. Yeah, let's say... A big Batman! Let's say 100 grand. I'll also take a hundred grand.

Yeah, okay, let's call it a 300 grand. 100 for each of us. Looking back, it won 50 for each of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Batman being like, oh, okay. Yeah, we win. We win. We shook it down.

We shook it down. Batman colon shakedown is the name of the arc. Well, it's awesome because of all the CTEs that in like 10 to 15 years when the holes in everyone's brains are just random made. them crazy. Batman's going to have a real bad day in the office. He's going to have a rough one. He's going to be like, is Joker gas? Or was it that time there's three guys? Shook Gotham.

Probably be that, Batman. Yeah, like, murder rates skyrocket, random acts of violence. Yeah. Well, Batman, it should have stopped it, Batman. Should have stopped a bad man. I don't know. Should have stopped us shaking Gotham, dude. I don't know what to tell you.

We shook the fuck out of it. We shook the fuck out of Gotham. We could do it again. But don't get on the wrong side of you, Batman, because I got another gun that's got your name on it. You. I'm just Batman. This is my Batman. Does it shoot batterings?

No, it shoots Batman in the head. Oh. Okay. Well, I think Gotham was pretty well terrorized. I don't think Batman really had much, you know, in the way of resistance to us. He can't really defend against the big shake. No. There's nothing he can do, dude.

There's nothing he can do. What can you do against what, in a sense, like some sort of like natural disaster? Effectively. Yeah. Effectively. I mean, what's he going to do? Historically. Yeah.

Batman couldn't do shit against an earthquake. Yeah. And what is this but a big earthquake? It's a man-made, manufactured earthquake. I like it in this situation. Biggest Alfred still just standing up to the side. You're watching. We should have got biggest Alfred to shake the city.

Fuck, dude. Yeah. Gotham got really shocked. Oh, they're shaking Gotham. Oh, Batman sorts it out. Well, I'm best got the biggest Gotham because of the city. That's at least not sure. That's a proportionate size to my gigantic...

I like to think he just goes back into the ocean, like God's hell. Well, that's my time, Mr. Wayne. Good luck out there, Batmaning, my boy. I must return to the ocean floor to slumber for a hundred years till I'm woken again. I need to go back to Atlanta. Bottle the ocean floor. So funny that this is Alfred.

What? Was it on the ocean? floor was like, Gotham needs me. And he came and watched it get shook. Exactly as I planned. And now to return to the ocean floor till I have needed again. And he curls up like Godzilla on a thermal vans. Yeah, that's beautiful.

That's awesome, dude. I love Biggest Alfred. Yeah, me too. He could be my favorite comic book character. I can't wait for the real, the big screen adaptation of the biggest elephant. Yeah. God, it's going to be impressive.

It's going to be really good. So big. Well, on that note, I've been Jill. I've been Jackson. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. If you want to support us, and please do, this was a good one. Yeah.

We had some laughs. You had some laughs. You can head to Bad Brain Boys, or you can head to the Sanspins Radio website, sansmithradio.com. Subscribe to Bad Brain Boys to support us and get ad free episodes, access to the Discord, a bonus episode of Plumbing the Death Star Month. What if? Jackson Billy Spooks America.

A bunch of other shit. A shitload of stuff for not much money. Exactly. And the most important thing, you'd be doing us a favor. Yeah. Okay. Where are your pals? You'll be lining our pockets.

And at the moment, they're just full of holes in bags of shit. Yeah, okay? We're carrying around bags and human shit when we could be carrying around bags of money. Yeah. And let me tell you, stores, they don't accept human shit as currency. Before, I went to go buy a cool beverage and they said, and then they go, that's four bucks. And I go, do you accept bags of human shit? What's that in human shit?

What are they hit me with their broom? No, we don't accept that. We're a money-only business. We'll take four bucks, though. That's so crazy. I've only got bags of human shit, unfortunately. Please leave my establishment. Okay, understood.

If you sound like to bad brain boys or any of the paid programs. Exactly, then we can have some walking around money. We wouldn't have to humiliate ourselves when we go to the shops. Or as some people are calling it, living money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some living our wife's money. Yeah, and we go to like maybe a fast food convenience. store and we go yeah

yeah I will take a large and we won't have to check out bank account and that'll be nice I've earned an extra chicken nugget you know I can't remember the last dad didn't check how much money was in my bank account that's a good thing to realize that's a good feeling yeah well thank you to everyone who signed up to bad brain boys and thank you

to everyone for listening to this episode and to people who didn't listen to this episode but are hearing this what the fuck how are you doing that how the fuck tell your fucking secrets how the fuck did you do that what the fuck What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck?