Plumbing the Death Star - Are Mutants a Problem?

Episode Date: March 13, 2016

In which our heroes look at statistics, analyse the figures and tally up the deaths as they ask are mutants really a problem? Join us as we really get to the bottom of the X-Men v Brotherhood fights, argue about the logistics of car insurance and ponder the fate of Mutant Town. Jackson tries to justify his horrific opinions, Zammit is worried about the health of the Blob and Duscher just wants to try his best but not succeed. It's a wild ride as two thirds of us try to remain open minded but good people while the other commits hate crimes. I'm still upset.Want to help Duscher and Zammit prevent Jackson from committing a genocide? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us prevent another Hitler.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Stalin today!And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask important questions like are mutants a problem no jackson no they're not okay so the last we recorded recorded an episode where we were wondering what we do with the mutant problem. And I had, some say, a pretty harsh solution. You had some questionable opinions. I did. And everybody jumped down my throat, Jackson. You Hitler. Shut the fuck up.

But I think it was justified. And I want to try and get across to you. I want to get you on my side. So you think the problem was that we didn't really fully understand just how much of a problem this was? The problem with your final solution was us, and not the fact that you exterminated... Iron monster.

Yeah. Yes. I think so. I think you're just not thinking about it practically. I think that your human brains are like no like whatever they're people in fact it's like living in

a world full of wolves where at any second one of these wolves could turn on you and kill you but that's if we are also wolves not necessarily so let's talk about the brotherhood of mutants what is the belief about the Brotherhood of Mutants.

What is the belief of the Brotherhood of Mutants? Homo Superior. That's the ticket out, right? That Homo Superior is good. So they're warning their philosophy is there is no peaceful coexistion.

Coexistion? What's that word? I struggle in my brain and I panicked. They can't co-exist. There we go. They can't co-exist. Xavier's like, co-exist, and Megadu's like, we tried that, but look at

Neanderthals and Early Man. They just killed each other. So that's their philosophy, right? Because I said Neanderthals once and he jumped down my throat. It's Neanderthal. You looked at me like I'd fucked it up but i'm like no no no i was just thinking about neanderthal honestly when you said they tried their best and it just didn't work i was just going to be like so that look i shot you was like i I'm about to sing Coldplay. No, I'm not. Okay, so an early man and an earlier man, they just didn't coexist.

Neanderthal. Neanderthal. Neanderthal. Neanderthal. My nan got told. And Charles Xavier believes that they can coexist, right? Yeah. He's like, don't worry, I'll just mind control everyone.

It's fine. Right? and they're always fighting okay but who comes out on top like in the end not many mutants probably die in those fights everybody's alive you know who does die in fucking droves goddamn humanity here on the fucking ground no but the problem there is not really actually a lot of mutants die like a lot of mutants die like a lot of mutants have protest they die and then they come back and then they die we as humans don't have the liberty of fucking turning back up again unless we're friends with the hulk or like superman's

mate like the one thing that made um xavier finally just snap when he was you know the whole onslaught thing was that there was a mutant who was not very powerful levels. Like, he might have, let's just say, because I can actually forget what he had. Beta level. Not even beta level. Let's say he could shoot sweat. Could shoot sweat out of his fingertips. No, wait.

There was a guy who had that power and it was cool. One eye was the wrong color. Like David Bowie. Like David Bowie. Rest in peace. That wasn't actually how, like, he wasn't born like that. He was in a fight. colour Like David Bowie Rest in peace No, he was in a fight David Bowie in a punch on, that's something I want to see Also there's rumours that there's a new David Bowie stuff

There's rumours of a new planet That circles the sun every 15,000 years And they want to call it Bowie That's amazing Anyway So let's just say, i don't know he had like a third arm but like small and baby like anyway not the point he can detach his nerves there we go attach his nose good you can smell things far away if he throws his nose um and a whole mob of

humans found out and they just uh lynched him basically just Just completely and utterly were beating the crap out of him while he was running towards Xavier's school. I think Xavier was mind linked with him at the time. Yeah. And that's why Xavier's just like fucking humans. So one group of humans lynch a lad. How many? How many mutants

are like we use sort of the one percenter, right? So how many of them are Amiga level? Really? It's not even about that. Yeah, it's not. Not even about that. Power level of, say, I don't know. You just have to be able to throw a heavier

punch. You just have to be able to make a little flame with your hand. Dusha can probably throw a heavier punch than you, Jack. Kill him. So any trained athlete should also die? No because I'm not saying That if you're super fucking skilled at something You should die? You should die because you

If you're skilled at something Probably have trained at that No because now studies are showing That you are genetically predisposed To be good at certain things Whatever that's fine that's different to being like sometimes i exude like a poisonous slime it's like how zamit's good just was born to be good at editing podcasts you were born to be a sack of shit and

i was born to be exceptionally charming and great at everything fact Fact. But with the boxer issue, okay, if you're a boxer, right? Do you know how like courts work with something like that? There are no evil boxers. Have you met Mike Tyson? Mike Tyson's an angel.

No, but you know like this isn't entirely, oh actually no, this sort of builds on your idea. So if you, in self-defense trials, they take into consideration skill. Is this true

or is this just from Con Air? It's from Con Air, which is practically true. No, surely it would be. Like, I have no reason to believe why that's not the truth. Because it would make sense, but it is just in Con Air.

Of course, he's a trained military man. His weapons would be like a lethal, his hands would be a lethal weapon. Of course, it makes sense trained military man. His hands would be a lethal weapon. Of course, it makes sense. But is it, though? Almost definitely not. I mean, chances are.

But what I'm saying is that if you're a mutant, your powers are unchecked. Always. And if your powers are checked, they're going to be checked by either Xavier, who's going to be like, fight cunts in the city, or Magneto, who's going to be like, fight cunts in the city. And then again, it's like you've got one real tough guy at the pub, right? And you've got another real tough guy at the pub.

And these are like fucking bodybuilders. And you're in the middle drinking your gin and tonic, right? And one of them's like, hey, Bruce, fuck you. And Bruce is like, hey, Jerry, fuck you. And Bruce is like, hey, Jerry, fuck you! And then they're fighting over your barstool all the time. Your gin's spilling. That's what it's like for those people, for us, humanity. But you're saying it about mutants as a blanket term

to describe anyone with mutant powers. And like the comics do show, there aren't just people who can be real good at fighting and have super strength or can shoot optic blasts. No, there are mutants out there with a wide variety of different abilities that are considered abnormal to us humans. Give me a couple.

Throw a couple at me and I'll tell you how they're dangerous for humanity. Okay, let's just use beak. Okay. Okay, so basically he has a beak covered in feathers. His knees and arms bend shitly. He can't fly. I guess we can use beak. Okay. Okay, so basically he has a beak covered in feathers. His knees and arms bend shitly. He can't fly. I guess we can keep beak.

That's fine. But he's still part of the school. He's still part of the problem. And now you're getting into dangerous fucking territory where you're punishing people for thoughts, not actions. Jackson Bailey thought police. Because it's like, yeah, he isn't dangerous, but he's hanging out with, you know, people with dangerous ideas.

Put him down. But he is. But he's not, because when they first find him, he's like in a, in a bar, I think, and people are throwing like chicken feed at him from memory.

Or like something like that. But he just goes there for acceptance to be who he is. Angel? Not like Worthington, actually both of them. Yeah, Warren Worthington and... What's her name? Salvador?

No, that's not her name. Something. Salvador? That's not a girl's name. Is it? Celia? Samantha? I don't know.

She was in the first class as well. I don't know. Anyway. Jessica Jones? No, not Jessica Jones. Jessica Jones. Emma Frost? Nah. Well, yes, also her. Moira? Yeah, that's Jones. Jessica Jones. Emma Frost? Nah.

Well, yes, also her. Moira? Yeah, that's a Hellfire Club. Moira McFaggart? There's an Illuminati full of powered people in charge. Okay, fuck off, because the Hellfire Club was started by goddamn Tony Stark and probably people of your ilk. Not Tony Stark, he's a predecessor.

That's fair. That's my dad. Howard? Papa Stark. Maybe either Howard or his dad. But yeah, Hellfire Club was not about mutants. Hellfire Club was the fucking social elite. That's fine. They can rule

them. Yeah, alright. But the Illuminati isn't just mutants. I'm not just talking about, I mean like mutants are the biggest issue because they're just popping up left and right and centre. But powered people are also a problem. Yes, I know. But getting back to, so Beak is fine. Angel either, both both either of them

one's got like angel like bird wings the other one has fly out of the war maybe not fly wings i don't know about that guy but angel is part of the war angel's still there in the city when my building is destroyed by like a fucking kinetic blast when fucking goddamn cyclops is like you trying to hit a fucking sentinel and he chops my car in half and the mutants are like well done high five and go home but usually with the mutants particularly the X-Men they give back to the community they're the ones who are

helping with that demolition one you don't drive two don't have a car three get your fucking license sack of shit four though which is relevant to the episode insurance

do you know how insurance works because it's not just about that no but it would be it would it would be exactly because like if you're because the mutants

have to have their little fucking fuck off well it's not because I have to go through the hassle of fixing you're just saying that these mutants

are hassling us and having some fights in the middle of the fucking city why were they fighting in the middle of the fucking city. Why were they fighting in the middle of the city? Because other mutants were fucking their shit up. Yeah, exactly. Not just other mutants were fucking their shit up.

Generally, it's because Magneto is there being like, I'm going to make these missiles just launch. So if the X-Men don't come in there and stop him, it'd be like you complaining. I'm not blaming the X-Men. I'm blaming mutants. It's like you complaining. I'm not blaming the X-Men. I'm blaming mutants. It's like you complaining about fucking like cops coming down and there's someone doing a siege and them shooting and suddenly your car gets shot in the middle.

That's you're complaining about. No. The X-Men are basically just mutant police. Do you hate cops? Is that what you're saying? You hate the police? Because that's all right. That's all right.

I'm in. No, because I'm not like fuck Xavier. But you're using examples of being like Cyclops using his I-beam, but what is he using his I-beam against? Okay, and what scenario is he not using his I-beam in? One where there's no mutants.

So in a world with no Magneto and no Cyclops, we're fine. Yes. But the moment you have mutants you've got these two mutant bodies, and they're fighting each other. Well, yeah, this is the problem. It's basically like a Cold War. And the people who get fucked on in a Cold War are your everyday folks, because the two

high-ups are like, nah, our little petty problems should be a global thing. So what was your solution to fixing the Cold War? Nuke Russia? Yes! Nuke Russia and nuke the United States? I'm just saying that if there were no mutants that scenario wouldn't happen. If there was...

But the problem is... But the problem is... Only peaceful mutants seek. But there's not. And we can't deny that. I know we can't deny that, but you're using a few bad eggs to punish the rest. A few bad eggs? Yes. I would say that most of the mutants we see in comics, in films...

Well, that's because we're following... ...decide to join a side. Well, because sometimes you have to... Okay, what is the percentage? Give me percentages here. Give me some stats, Sam. I don't know off the top of my head, so let's make some up. All right.

All right. So let's probably say the ones we're following are probably going to be 10% of the mutant population, right? Oh, I don't know about that. Like the X-Men and... Brotherhood. Brotherhood would probably be the 10% of the mutant population, right? I don't know about that. Like, the X-Men and... Brotherhood. Brotherhood would probably be the 10% of the mutant population. I don't remember.

Wasn't there only, like, 198? At one point, there was 198, because that was when Scarlet Witch was like, No more mutants! And ruined shit. But before that, there, we're talking thousands... No, more than thousands. We're talking, like, hundreds of thousands.

There was a town in some part of America just called Mutant Town, where it was basically the multiple man, Jamie Maddox, was like... What if all of this was me? He was like, this is a pure mutant. This is under mutant protection. It's under X-Factors protection. So me and mine are going to protect Mutant Town. And every person in that city was a mutant.

What happened to Mutant Town? It got fucked up because of Wanda's like, no more mutants. How did it get wrecked by Wanda being like, no more mutants? Wasn't everybody in the town like, dang, it's easier to live in this town now without people becoming missiles and shit? What? They were all mutants and she was like I'm going to get rid of mutants. She was getting rid of powers, not just actual mutants.

She did get rid of powers. Everyone's just a normal person. Well, the problem there was Well, yes and no because people like, say, the blob. Yeah, he lost his mutant ability, but he still maintained his gross skin and fat. That's on the blob. That's nobody's problem but the blob. I think there's also people trying

to get powers back because they were like, I miss being a mutant. Okay, so the mutants miss their powers and that wrecks the town. It's like if Wanda was like no more penises. You're gonna miss your dick after a bit. Yeah. Zamet would instantly kill himself. Probably. Oh no.

No, it might come back. He's dead. I am attached. It'd be kind of you losing a part of who you are in your identity. Like your dick. Like your wife. But yeah, you're right. It is that sort of, there is. No, you're not right.

Not right at all. I'm very right. You're right. I'm going to take this moment of confusion to announce that I spent like the last 15 minutes trying to find out if Con Air is true. It's not. Con Air is not a true movie. It's not. Con Air is not a true movie. It's a con Con Air. They lied to us.

I am Con Air. I've been Con Air. Alright, so if you for some reason don't think that the mutants fighting each other is a problem. That is a problem. So you have 10% of the mutants, right? It's more than 10% because you've got to remember that Xavier is also

recruiting. No, so is the Brotherhood. No, they're not recruiting 24-7. Hey Jackson, quick question. What is Xavier's usual motivation for stopping the Brotherhood? Fight his brothers and the people he hates? No. What are the Brotherhood trying to do? Destroy humanity?

Yes. And who do the X-Men fight? The Brotherhood? Yes. Yeah, but that doesn't matter because then everybody gets fucked on. I'm not against Xavier. I'm against them all. I'm not saying imagine if Xavier didn't exist.

Because if Xavier didn't exist, for sure, then the Brotherhood fucks everyone up. But imagine if they both didn't exist, everyone lives a pretty good life. So, rather than wars ending, you would prefer to just kill all the soldiers. Well, that's different, though. How is that different? Because these soldiers are trained by militaries. They're not people born with the power.

But it's the same end goal, because the reason you have a problem... It's hardly the same. The military has to live by a certain code of ethics. There's no ethics in war. Hey, I'm not saying that war is great, but I'm saying that you have certain conventions. You have certain rules in place. There's nobody policing the mutants.

There is. Charles Xavier. Yeah, good. One crazy motherfucker in a wheelchair. Probably sometimes does so. Oh, good. I'm glad sometimes the checks in on the meetings. They tried doing the Sentinel program.

They were like, you know what? Remember Sentinels? They tried to do what you were trying to do. Not just that. It was a real bad idea. The Sentinels happened. Bad idea. But then, like, Shield, you know what was good?

Sentinels. So let's try and have them, and they just placed them around Xavier's school, and they were like, what the fuck are you actually doing? Like, no, no, no, it's a security measure. Yeah, in like the robots that really killed a lot of us? That's your idea? Anywho So what you're saying That is correct

So you're saying, let's just say for example, alright gay people, they live sometimes, they live like a hassled life. If they're born into certain areas, certain towns, certain countries, they live in a hassled life. It would be better if they just didn't exist or they weren't gay

because then there would be no fighting or hassling. One of the Death Star's most controversial episodes. Is that what you're saying? If you just didn't exist... Because they can't help to be mutants There are no gay people It's not like you got half the gay people Did Jackson just deny the fact that

Homosexuality is gay? No, there are no gay people Who are like, we should coexist with humanity And then there are no gay people who are being like We should rule humanity Who then fight in a city and destroy it. When was the last time X-Men destroyed a city? Fucking all the goddamn time.

When was the last time? But the thing is, it's... Not really. Well, you're kind of using really... Let's get political for a second. But you're kind of almost using weirdly like a Muslim argument. You basically, because ISIS exists, destroy all Muslims. No, I'm just saying that.

Because look, a select few have some radical ideas and they want to control the world. That's just like argument one, though, of mine. I'm not saying that like, oh, holy shit. Hey, if look, if it was just the X-Men and they were fighting the Brotherhood and they were the only two problem areas. Whatever. Like, get rid of them and we're good.

No. No, no, because that comes to fucking issue number two. What's issue number two? Okay, you're just living a regular life. And this is an issue that I brought up in the last one, but we've got to explore a little bit further. You're living in a volatile world now. the last one but we've got to explore a little bit further you're living in a volatile world now, you're living in

a world where somebody at any point could just snap, they could explode they could destroy a town you hang out with me all the time at any moment you can punch me in the neck well, you know, we are

not to that extent but you know there was that kid up in Queensland who was an athlete He was just walking along And some guy was like hey mate wanna do something funny Went behind him and just king hit him In the back of the fucking neck He's dead now

So it's the sort of thing of like the world is already It's not as dangerous as it would be With mutants though There's a difference between somebody king hitting somebody in the back of the head Which is fucked up And somebody being, I'm a jaguar now, and I'm going to eat this school children right now, because, hey, I'm a jaguar, and that's what's going on. But if they're a jaguar, do they have control?

You're talking about were jaguars, not mutants. But it doesn't even matter if they don't have control. Yes, it does. That matters a lot. Say that lad who king hit the lad in the back of the head instead became a jaguar. Yeah. So the man with the same potential...

No, because he'd still be dead. And also, I'd still have the problem with dickhead turning into a jaguar and biting someone. But he has more potential to cause more destruction as a jaguar than as a man, right? Surely you have to admit that. Guns, though, also exist. so yeah and we police them pretty i mean not america but in australia we police them pretty fucking thoroughly we do but there's still people that do get you know fall through the cracks

and yeah well i'm sure you would probably have that problem with the mutants as well not if you kill them all jackson okay so you're saying that you would happily live in a world where at any second somebody could just snap. It's not about happily controlling the world. It's not about happily living in a world. It's about... It would be a reality that we just existed in so we wouldn't know any better. It would just be like having to deal with the problems

that arise. So yeah, you're right. In a world where we have different faiths and different beliefs and different whatever, yes, it would be easy if we were all the same grey goo that just believed the same thing. But now we're talking about... Sounds like it's so political. Being into a fucking cult. I'm not talking about people with different faiths.

I'm talking about people who are like, my hands are guns now. Talking about people who are like, suddenly I'm a nuclear bomb. Talking about people who are like, I can make lasers with my eyes. Yes. and burn a person to death by looking at them that's different to being like I believe in a different god because then you're like sick enjoy it. No because from those

beliefs lots of wars and shit happen and lots of you know dumb things do happen yeah but those are still people fighting people they're not super people fighting people or super people fighting super people that fucks up people yeah i know but it you're you're saying in this universe or in this world where mutants are existing your solution is to eradicate them yeah

hey if we can just get rid of their powers okay If we can just depower them with a fucking flick of a wand to start. All right, we can. Sick. Do that. Perfect. Okay. You've just made them people and you've solved the problem. But mutants are the problem.

Okay. I think Jackson is a little bit too lippy for his own good. You know what I've heard? This radical new idea. I just get an ice pick and I go in through the eye. Lobotomies? Just carve out a little bit of his brain and he's so much easier to deal with. That is, again, so there's like a base level of human.

Yeah. You know the whole thing about, what's JFK's dad? Dad FK. Dad FK. He's older. JFK. So JFK's older sister. Yeah. Okay. She got lobotomized because the dad was like, you're being a bit too wild.

You're being a bit too uncontrolled and unruly. So off to the mental institution to get a bit of brain out. Well, that's going to be good. So you're kind of being like. No, because there's a base level of human, right? Right. And there's certain rights that we all enjoy and can have. You want to talk about rights, Jackson?

Okay. Mistake. There's a base level. So if you were to ice pick me. I'm just saying you're getting rid of a part of who someone is. I'm getting rid of a dangerous, an objectively dangerous part of a person. Yeah. Imagine if you were the kind of-

Not objectively. Yes, it is. Because some guy over there Can shoot lasers out of his eyes But this guy over there Is real good at picking up languages Well Then maybe we could go

On a case by case basis But My point still stands Is you're gonna be like What can you do Nah nothing Off you go And you're just gonna get people lying

And then you're Then you might as well do them all And then you're just gonna feed Your bullshit fucking case So Then you might as well do more and then he's gonna feed your bullshit fucking case so then you might as well do them all if you don't want to go on a case-by-case basis the solution shouldn't be let dangerous individuals with laser eyes live on the planet it's just you're trying to police something yeah which has too much variety. If every single mutant... The majority, I would say the majority of mutant abilities are dangerous.

I would disagree wholeheartedly. Let's get a list. Let's get a list of mutant powers. I'm doing it. I'm game. This episode's gonna go for another seven hours. No, because think about it. Also, mutants have helped benefit humanity. Like someone like Beast.

Yeah, they've also helped fuck up humanity. When? when yeah he's fucked up the time stream pretty badly yeah but the time stream that doesn't directly it directly affects us but we're unaware of it it doesn't matter like not even that like he's fucked up the time stream sure but like also that's not an argument that mutants have helped us because i think they would have fucked us up equally at the very least. Well, then when they sort of do, again, using the Phoenix Force. Professor X, dangerous. Cyclops, dangerous. Iceman, dangerous. Iceman's not dangerous. Iceman covers the city in ice. He causes flooding.

Rogue, dangerous. Phoenix, dangerous. Magneto, dangerous. Longshot, dangerous. Longshot's not fucking dangerous. Psylocke, dangerous. No. Dazzler, fine, but you could also blind people um you can blind people if you had a couple of goddamn fireworks uh mirage cannonball not magma cypher banshee forge dangerous polaris forge is just a goddamn tinkerer he's a he's real good at building shit. He's like a, what's it called, a technopath.

Scientist. Dangerous. Engineer. Dangerous. Multiple man. Dangerous. Multiple man's not dangerous. He's just a dude who can be many of himself.

Don't listen to our early episodes. I think we had an episode about how dangerous multiple man is. Come around. Siren. Dangerous. Banshee. No. How is Siren or Banshee dangerous?

Sonic screams. Yes. Allowing flight. Seduction of men andanshee, jubilee. No, how is Siren or Banshee dangerous? Sonic screams. Yes. Allowing flight. Seduction of men and women. Enhanced hearing. Well, we don't have enhanced hearing. That's fine. Just like everything we do is dangerous.

Driving a car is dangerous. Unidentified scroll, dangerous. What? Wikipedia? It says that it was part of the Manite rescue X-Men. Cyclops, Phoenix, Archangel, Cable, X-Men, Unidentified, Skrull So you're telling me Yes So maybe my ideas are just wrong

Maybe I'm Look, you have an idea which is like, yes, mutants So you're telling me that People who are born who can't control their powers are dangerous I agree with you on that base level Your next step is to kill them all no look killing them all was my solution when i had to come up with the solution okay i've i've thought on that i've prayed on that okay look you know i've sat down i've gone to church i've been like hey what what's the proper my god yes And now I would say that my solution would just be getting rid of their powers.

You're then talking about really taking away a part of someone's identity and who they are. I'm happy to do that. You're basically praying away the gay. You're basically chemically castrating people. I'm not praying away the gay. You're using the same arguments. But it's a different situation. They were. But it's the same fucking argument

Back me up here douche Come on You're basically saying like You guys I don't agree with your lifestyle But if you changed a little bit Being a mutant is not a lifestyle It's a dangerous Correct it's not a lifestyle

It's how they were fucking born It's not a lifestyle it's how they were fucking born it's not a choice jackson oh my god why can nobody see the fucking reason he's going to get homosexuality taking it weird places no it's because that's what the x-men metaphor is all i know but that's not what the x-men themselves are sorry the mutant. I'm not saying that they're wrong because I've decided they're wrong. I'm saying they're wrong because some of them are nuclear bombs. If gay people sometimes went around just shooting people with guns that were fused to their hands, that would be as bad. But then your problem there is maybe, okay, let's say out of 100 people, one person does that. You're like, kill 99 or get rid of the 99 people.

Because there is shit that is like I'm a super powered artist I'm really good at that, I have photographic memory I'm really good at I think most of the mutants that went through then most of them were dangerous Dazlov maybe not Dazlov, fine I guess Granted, but you're taking it to where people are kind of like

these are the mutants that we're following the stories that we're kind of following Someone like Cannonball, not that dangerous. What's Cannonball's power? He's nigh invulnerable when blasted. Basically, he can fly. What if Cannonball decided to start robbing banks? What if anyone decided to start robbing banks?

We could stop them. We could stop Cannonball. Just, like, kill him. I'm saying get rid of his power. Then we're on an even playing field. But then it's kind of like You have no idea I grew up in Kansas In some farmland

Did you say you're not sure where you grew up? Where Cannibal grew up Cannibal grew up in Cairns? Kansas You worded that in a way where I was like Cannibal is like On the farms of Kansas, my blasting power is really good.

Tractor fell over, I'm like, there it goes up again. Plus there's the whole personal thing where I can fly and just be free and be who I am. Can't police the sky, Zamit. Can't police the sky. There's no law in the sky. It's true. And him being like, I do that and it's really good for me

and I love that part of who I am. And you're like, no! I'm like, I'm sorry. But due to the actions of several other individuals, we're going to need to get rid of your powers. No. You would have protests. That's why I do it in secret.

That was my whole plan. It's 1945. Okay. Hitler just killed himself. You have the option of sinking Germany and murdering every single German citizen. Sinking Germany? Yeah.

You can sink Germany. It will kill every German. Like Age of Ultron. You know that thing. Oh, like I can just pick up Germany. Pick it up and shove it into space. Throw it into space. But that's not fair

because they were just German people. Citizens. Not Nazis. If someone was like Jackson, you can get rid of all the Nazis. Nope. Yeah, done. Because not all mutants are bad but all mutants have the potential

all Nazis are pretty bad and even then potentially in defense of some Nazis some might have just been conscripted or some people who were forced let's not go down that path let's not defend Nazis let's call Jackson a homophobe

that's where it's safe, apparently. If you could sink Germany in 1945. No, I wouldn't. Okay. Because I think that's a different scenario. Because your base thing is like, I saw a mutant once. He shot fire out of his eyes. All mutants are bad.

Well, that's just not the case. Plenty of mutants don't have that level of destruction. Plenty of mutants don't have that ability. destruction. Plenty of mutants don't have that ability. And when you have someone like Charles Xavier or Forge, who is working hard to come up with solutions to prevent things like that. What mutants feel like to me, right, is that we have this big room, and it's full of people, and we're like, you're together in this room. We give them all guns, and we're like, all your guns are loaded.

Okay? And we're not going to be able to police you. And then we leave the room. How about this then? All of us get powers. Okay. Is that a better solution? Yeah, that's fine.

Then we're an even playing field. All right. If we can Terragon Miss the planet. Which has happened. And have every single person with powers, I'm in. Deal. Count me in. Deal. Count me in. So you've gone from...

So how about this? He's jumped from fucking striker to fucking magnetor. Yeah. How about this then? Join the Brotherhood. Kill all humans. No, because that's not a solution. But you're...

It's the same thing. It's the same fucking solution that you're proposing, but humans aren't... Humans are the majority. I was about to say humans aren't dangerous, but yes, we are. But not as dangerous as a mutant. Every once in a while, a human gets an idea like, hmm, maybe we should kill all the mutants.

So let's fuck you then. I'm going to, you've radicalized me to be joining the fucking mutants. Oops. Didn't mean to do that. So I'm like, no, Magneto. And I'm going to be like, look, Magneto, Xavier, this has to happen. So we've got one or two choices. We either have to kill them all because they're coming for us.

I told you I was done with killing them all. You're done with killing mutants. Yeah, I said that earlier. I was like, instead of killing them, I've preyed on it. They're taking away our powers. They're taking away who we are. They don't want us to be who we are. So we either have to kill them all or we have to power them all up,

which is the plot of X-Men 1. It is. I'm on Magneto's side. Or Strikers. Pretty much as long as the playing field is even, I'm a happy boy. One way or the other. Because the problem there is if you depower them, what happens when someone is born and then they become a mutant?

Well, we just have, like, a system in place to depower you at birth. That's fine. But what if these powers were useful to humanity? What if they weren't? I don't want to take the risk. Also, you're talking about what happens if this was in, like, you know, pretty historic times where it was against Neanderthals and Homo sapiens, and the Neanderthals were like,

no, kill the Homo sapiens. Then we'd all be Neanderthals right now, and we'd be sick. My nan is tall. My nan is tall, I am muscly, I got a big brain. I struggle to adapt, but other than that, I'm doing good. Because then you also want the idea that if homo superior are natural forming occurrence which they are and they are the next step in evolution we are sort of putting a kibosh on what humanity i was happy to flip to the other side

like if we want because that's all i care about is an even playing field i just don't think that we should have people in this world i'm'm not like, fuck mutants because... Fuck mutants. I'm like, fuck mutants because they provide an unfair and dangerous advantage to 10% of the population. And that's a fucking worry. What about the 1%, Jackson? Should we kill them?

Yeah. All right. Murder the rich. Fuck capitalism? Burn down Wall Street. Socialism? Yes. I was about to be like, nobody's born rich. murder the rich fuck capitalism burn down wall street socialism yes I was again

I was about to be like nobody's born rich but yeah they are yeah they are but that's family alright we've learned a lot this episode Jackson's either a Nazi

or a socialist capitalism doesn't work and I've been Con Ed and on that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson or a monster and I've been Joel

I still think I'm in the right maybe really really really really right like so right like the brightest anyone's ever been if you know what i'm saying you're a monster i just got that right wing that's the joke right the mutants happen and somebody's like hey joel zamit how would it feel to have your guts in your brain and you're looking at me fizzling out i'm gonna be like well yeah this is why i had that we did that whole episode yeah i know and it's like look the homo superiors are winning we're all dying there's gonna be homo superiors you won as well and i'm like this is. Jackson, whilst my guts

go into my brain and I'm slowly bleeding out, I'm going to look at you and I'm going to smile because I'm going out how I want to. Exactly. Fuck you.

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