Plumbing the Death Star - Are Sidekicks Worth It?

Episode Date: March 19, 2023

Life as a superhero is often taxing, the hours are long and it sure can be lonely. Plus there’s only so much a single costumed vigilante can do! You can’t join a team because you’re a lone wolf and that would ruin your reputation. Having a partner doesn’t feel right to you as that implies the power dynamic is equal. If only there was some kind of solution where you, a fully grown man, could have a student-teacher relationship with some kind of youth so your authority is respected but you don’t have to deal with all that duty of care nonsense that would prevent you from using them as bait to attract you serial killing nemeses. Boy, do we have some great news! Introducing sidekick! All of the bond you’re craving without any of that pesky responsibility! Need a plucky teen to nimbly cut some wires of a bomb when your big, strong hands would be too strong and powerful to do so? Sidekick! Needs someone to stay behind to ensure the blast doors stay closed when the bomb goes off? Of course you’d do it, but your city needs you! You can’t be the one that dies, you’re the main character! Sidekick! And what about when you’re handling a dangerous bomb like device like a bomb? Can you imagine what would happen if you dropped it? Better shirk that responsibility into softer and more youthful hands. Just call 1800-SIDEKICK for your disposable teen now! Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Flumming the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joe. This is the podcast that asks the important questions like, are sidekicks worth it? Okay, in movies and comics. TV shows, video games.

Yeah, a lot of places. Real life. Real life? They want real life. You two plumbing the next door. I walked right into that. Fuck! Okay.

Sidekicks. You're a superhero, right? That's the most normal place we see a sidekick. Well, which superhero do you want to start with? Well, I think just in general. Like a duck.

Okay, okay. Just play the groundwork of what a sidekick is. Okay. But, I mean, fiction beyond superheroes. There's a lot of mean fiction beyond superheroes there's a lot of there's a lot of sidekicks absolutely in a book that only losers have read ishmael's probably a sidekick no i know i haven't read i haven't read an ether oh yeah i have self-respect i'm bullied

for the strangest things on this show. Remember when you bullied me for watching the video series Interface? This is like that again. Muppetick's a classic of American literature. Yeah, that's what a piece of shit loser would say. That's what Wikipedia says, which of course

I'm going to get to read, because I ain't no loser that's read Muppetick. I guess, what is a sidekick? To me, what's the difference between a sidekick and an apprentice? An apprentice, I feel like you're building up to eventually take over. Isn't that what a sidekick is?

Not really. Is Captain America like, Bucky, one day you will be me? But then Bucky does. Yeah, but I think that just happens. Yes, in a way like but yes it's sort of an accident you know yeah but i think it's like it's like an apprentice that's planned yeah a sidekick sometimes that happens so if i just accidentally as like say as as a 15 year old if i accidentally just happened to walk past the mechanic and i'm like hey that was kind of cool and the mechanic was like oh you

want to help me out and i went yeah and then. And then six months later, I'm like, am I your apprentice? And he's like, well, actually, I thought you were more my sidekick. Yeah, I consider you my sidekick because you will never have my job. Well, you don't have the qualifications. It doesn't sound like he's paying you. If anything, you're just a weird kid that's hanging out. I think he's doing it out of pity for you because he thinks you come from a bad home. Hey, buddy, good to see you.

How was school? You all right? You don't ever seem to be at school. Hold this wrench. Yeah, say as a 15-year-old little awkward kid, you build up a relationship with the local mechanic. He takes pity on you and, like, helps you in your work there. He pays you a little bit every now and again in cash. Got any friends, buddy?

No. I like cars. Yeah. Okay, dude. Me too. I like cars. I like cars, but I also have friends. You're not doing this mental thing, so. Yeah, you really are, dude. This poor 15-year-old kid. 15

and no friends? You and that Moby Dick reading pieces of shit? Brother, you got to put down that book and do what everyone else is doing. What's that? Anything. Not read Moby Dick. Go bowl it or something. At least you got something to talk about.

Yeah, gross. You talked to me about Ishmael. Oh, my God. Ishmael survived because he held onto the Fucking coffin Of his fucking Dead lover Husband Husband

Yeah I don't want to hear about it How'd you learn that? How'd I learn what? It's pop culture It's part of my job You just absorb it Yeah

Yeah yeah yeah I don't know Some piece of shit Was y'all be asking about it This morning over lunch or something Yeah Ask me about any pop culture I want to see and I can tell you some stuff about it.

But boys, I've seen what? I haven't even seen a full episode. Yeah, we know. You consume it through gifts. That's common knowledge, dude. It's part of my law. Name all the guys in Succession. Oh, okay. So, Succession

is a show I do really want to watch. It's about the... What's the name of the family? Yeah, what is the name of the family? Is it the Roy family? Is it the Roy family? Is it the Roy family? Or is Roy the name of the...

Or is it Roy something? Yeah. It is Roy. It is definitely Roy something. Logan Paul. No. You've got... Yeah. Who do you have, dude? Who do you have, though?. You've got... Yeah.

Who do you have, dude? Who do you have, though? Because you've got... Kieran Colkin. Uh-huh, and he plays... Yeah, but who does he play? He plays... And then you've got... Oh, no. No, because I almost said Roy Kent. That's the other TV show that I kind of despise his existence. Ted Lasso. Even though I've never

watched it. Everyone's having a good time. Yeah, it's not for you. I get it. It's whole too wholesome. I'd probably really like Ted Lasso. I've never watched it. Everyone's having a good time. It's not for you. I get it. It's wholesome. No, I'd probably really like Ted Lasso. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about Jason Sudeikis.

Sometimes I'm like, yeah, right? Ted Lasso's pretty good. I mean, like, it's sport. Yeah. You like sport. I do like sport. And it's kind of wholesome. Dude, I know what you mean about Jason Sudeikis.

What's going on there? Something about I see him, I'm like, are you a funny guy? I don't know. I don't like it. I think the problem with Ted Lasso is that by having Jason Sudeikis as a lead in a TV show, my brain immediately is like, Steve Carroll. Steve Carroll. Steve Carroll.

Steve Carroll, The Office. And then I think watching The Office would make me sick. Yeah. I don't know. Tell me about Jason Sudeikis. I'm just like, you flew under the radar as a guy. Don't come at me and say that I love Ted Lasso. I know.

But not you. That was to the audience. I'm like, it kind of feels like it fills that like Friday Night Lights hole in my heart. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Which I probably could just, you know, feel by rewatching Friday Night Lights. I'd probably have a better time. Yeah.

Yeah. Friday Night Lights is great. Logan's another one of the kids. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's Roy. Fucking. What is their name? Yeah. Who? What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah! It's Roy. Fucking, what is their name?

Yeah, who, what is it? It's about that family. Hey, kid, if you make this, if you hit a home run, I'll give you this check for a million dollars. Oh, you fucked it up. Here, I'm tearing the check up. Have a quarter of it because you got to first base. You learned a lesson.

I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, that's the one. That's an episode. Sure is. Anyway. It's no concern to me. It's actually good that I can't remember succession, so then when I watch it, I really like it. You'll have a really good time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome for you, dude. I'm excited. Wide Lotus. Never seen an episode. You've never seen an episode. No, I don't know shit about Succession. Fuck.

It could be the Roy family. You might be spot on. No, Roy's the guy in it, I think. I don't know. It looks boring. I don be the Roy family. You might be spot on. No, I think Roy is the guy in it, I think. I don't know. It looks boring. I don't know about that. Anyway, sidekicks. Sidekicks.

Sidekicks, yeah. Would you have one? To do what? Is Roy Kent Ted Lasso's sidekick? No. Is he the captain of the team? Maybe at one point, but then he retires. And then he becomes a coach.

Rival coach. No. Sidekick coach. Assistant coach? Head coach? What is the difference? What do you mean sidekick coach? Yeah.

What is a sidekick coach? Is it the same coach from Ted Lasso? Sorry, is he the same coach? Sorry, is he the coach of the same team? Yeah, Ted Lasso is head coach. Head coach. And, is he the coach of the same team? Ted Lasso is head coach. Head coach. And then you've got Coach Beard. And then you've got Roy comes in to also help with it.

Then you've got the other guy. And then he's become Roy Royal. So they're all part of the same team. They're Ted's sidekicks. Okay. So an assistant coach is a sidekick. So an assistant is a sidekick. An assistant is a sidekick, yeah, because an assistant's not...

But if I run a business, I don't consider them my sidekick. You know how someone was like, oh, this is my work husband, my work wife. That's a work sidekick. I reckon sidekick can be used in the same way. But apprentice can't be a sidekick. No, apprentice isn't a sidekick. But an assistant can. But an assistant's a completely different job.

Like, can he assist you? In Entourage. Yeah. Yes. Where they often have, you know, where they- The Entourage boys are Vinny's sidekicks, yes. Yeah, and they have, like, Hollywood stars that have assistants. And it's like, are they sidekicks?

Yeah, like, what's his name? Oh, no, now I'm trying to remember. They gotta remember Entourage. Ari's sidekick. Ari's, like his name oh no no i'm trying to remember they gotta remember um ari side ari's like luke no look luke i don't know dude you get you're on your own here oh anyway he's definitely ari sidekick is he yes or is he assistant no because in many what is in a superhero book yeah you're in your books i'm coming out against every type of pop cult today when you're reading these silly little drawings with words yeah robin in many ways could be batman's assistant i would say alfred's more like batman's assistant than then is alfred not

a sidekick he's not a sidekick no he's hisler. Is there on the fucking chin? No, he's Bruce Wayne's butler. He's not Batman's butler. He's Batman's assistant. Lloyd. Lloyd is. Lloyd. Yeah, but I wouldn't call him our gold sidekick. I absolutely would. Because Ari yells at him a lot. Batman yells at Robin all the time. No, he doesn't. He loves Robin. Yeah, he

loves him, but then... What awesome Batman you're in. You've fucked that up, Robin. All-star Batman and Robin. There's literally an example of that. Yeah, I mean, that's But that was a bad You fucked up There's literally an example Boy Being like what's that? What's your what's your Jimmy? What's Jimmy Olsen's relationship super's best friend. Sidekick? No! The comic book is called, like,

Superman's best friend Jimmy Olsen. It would be fucked up if Jimmy Olsen was Superman's sidekick because he's a human man. Yeah. Oh, I've got to go punch Darkseid. Oh, don't worry. Jimmy Olsen, distract him. Oh, that.3 of a second that Darkseid looked at you and shot his big bees.

What are they called? Omega rays or whatever? Omega rays, yeah. Yeah, and now that you're no longer existing. Jimmy, run into Fjords. What? Great. Is the Bat family Batman sidekicks?

No, there is family. Well, no, I'd say Robins are sidekicks. Nightwing, no longer sidekick. Yeah, but Nightwing doesn't work. Huntress. Huntress, not a sidekick. Batgirl. Not a sidekick. Yeah, but Nightwing doesn't work. Huntress, not a sidekick. Batgirl. Not a sidekick.

Or can be. Depends on the context. If Batman is... If they're working on the same mission. Yes. Sidekick. Well, not always. Yeah.

If Batman's taking point, sidekick. If they're working on it together, not a sidekick. Colleagues. Colleagues. Colleagues. Ari makes a beautiful speech at Lloyd's wedding. Yeah. Does that not prove sidekick? You made a beautiful.

Joel Dusha defined a sidekick. Joel Dusha and Jackson and Adam, all three of you made a very beautiful impromptu speech. And drunk. At my wedding. Adam did it as a joke and then everyone else started doing it. I want in. Yeah, it was beautiful. Half felt every moment of it.

All three of you might sidekick. By that definition. We were part of your bridal party. Yes. So therefore, yes. Is the best man not the groom's sidekick? I'll give you that. The best man is.

But we were not at that bridal party in that context. Bridal party. You know what I mean. Wedding party? Wedding wake. Reception? Wedding wake. Another wedding wake.

We're mourning the wedding. It's sad that they got married. It's sad that we can't keep experiencing the wedding. It's sad that the wedding's over. It's over. The wedding was fun. Yeah.. Oh yeah, it's sad that the wedding's over. It's over, the wedding was fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love a ceremony. I think that a sidekick

is... So sidekick and assistant, there's no difference. I think the assistant is a real life example of a sidekick. Yeah, I... Or a mentor. A mentor would also count. A mentor is a sidekick. No, no, no. The mentee. The mentee is a sidekick. Mentor, mentee, I'll give. A mentor is a sidekick. No, no, no. The mentee.

Yeah, the mentee is a sidekick. Mentor, mentee, I'll give you that. That's sidekick. But apprentice, no. But what the fuck is the difference between an apprentice and a mentor-mentee? Apprentice. Mentor-mentee, again. Oh, you know what?

Mentor-mentee, that's a tricky one. Because mentor-mentee, if you're mentoring someone to replace you, apprentice if you're mentoring them to have a similar role to you, sidekick I would say that apprentice, Batman stops, Robin sorry, Robin stops being Batman's sidekick when he becomes Nightwing but that makes him an

apprentice, fuck but he doesn't work for he goes to Bloodhaven sorry, that actually it is back in my favor again. Because that's a mental mentee situation where he works up to become his own guy, stops doing his sidekick, but he doesn't replace Batman. But sometimes they do. The Robins do.

Because I think it's like, well, you're not going to replace me until I retire and or die. Yeah, then you will replace me. That's what he kind of wants to do. But then when he does get his back broken, he doesn't go to a Batman. Sorry, Robin. He goes to random guys. He goes to a random guy who is like, you're unhinged. Maybe you become a Batman.

Batman had had a very bad day. He wasn't thinking straight. Well, he has the flu. Yeah, and that's how we get... I think when Azrael gets the Batsuit... He should just make Deathstroke Batman. Yeah, I has the flu. Yeah, and that's how we get. I think when Azrael gets the Batsuit. She just made Deathstroke Batman. Yeah. I think the Robin, whoever was the Robin at the time, is like, what the fuck?

I'm right here, brother. Yeah, but you always need a Robin. Why? Why? That's the question of the episode. Is it worth it? Yeah. So what is the point of a sidekick?

To help. Okay. Okay. So I'm Batman. And I'm like, okay, I want to help. I'm Ari. Okay. Okay, you're Ari, and I go to you, and I'm like, hi, Ari Gold. Get the fuck out of my office.

Ari, you got to help me. Ari, you got to help me. I need some assistance. Who are you, Vinny Chase? You're tugging my balls here, kid. You're the only one that gotta help me. Ari, you gotta help me. I need some assistance. Who are you? Vinny Chase? You're tugging my balls here, kid. You're the only one that can help me. Ari, please.

This movie doesn't get everyone in the company sucked off. This is the worst Batman comic book I've ever read. This studio is going under. Lloyd, get in here. I hate you, Lloyd. Get out of here. Anyway, what were you saying? Why do you treat Lloyd like that?

That's not how I would treat a sidekick. Why are you yelling at them? I need a cigarette. Just flipping through the pages. It just goes on and on. The entourage back in CrossFit was a bad idea. Just never, this is like ages and ages of yelling. It's just like really doesn't stop.

Both of them seem confused about the other ones in there. Ari keeps talking about getting sucked off by the movie. Batman's like, I gotta stop Two-Face and the Joker. I need some assistance. Why does he go to Ari? I know somebody wrote this comic, but it really feels like they didn't. Like, they didn't expect these characters to meet.

Ari, you represent some of the best upcoming superheroes. I'll call Vinny. He played Aquaman. No, no, I need Aquaman. I need Vinny. I need Aquaman. Vinny! Yo, what's going on? I want to talk to Vinny. Hey, Vinny, I really loved you in Aquaman.

I just want to say I'm a big fan. Give me back that phone. Vinny, sorry I was blowing smoke up your ass. Anyway, be on set tomorrow. I'll kill you. If you bring your shithead brother, Johnny Drama, my God, my voice can be so far up your ass, Vinny. You'll taste my boot.

All right. All right. Does Johnny have any powers? Johnny's got no powers. Damn. What a turtle. He's got the powers of a turtle, yeah? He's protective.

I need something to protect him. Hang on. Sorry. Why have you come to me? What's your problem? You represent some of the best. Yay! Spit it out, shitheads!

I'm fighting like a dooface, but I've also got to deal with Joker, and I need someone with a good set of powers to help me out here. You need a sidekick, brother. I do need a sidekick. Oh, finally the comic's getting somewhere. Have you tried a Robin? That's why I've come to you. I need someone to be my Robin.

You represent all the super, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That could be the only fixable reason why I'm here. Yeah, sorry. Because you came to visit me in my movie office. I thought it was about the movies. But yeah, hello, Dick Grayson.

Yeah, you shithead. Batman needs you, you piece of shit. I know Dick Grayson. I could just call him. Maybe I spoke too soon. Have you known Batman? And no one gets sucked off, so help me God, Dick Grayson. I'm out of time.

Very gold. Goodbye. Dick Grayson's on his way. I was like, is Dick Grayson available? It's just Dick Grayson. He was available I was like Dick Grayson's available It's just Dick Grayson He was available for Batman But Batman didn't think about him It wasn't his first choice

Oh okay So I'm Batman Jackson what's it like being the audience Is this good? It was awesome It was cool watching a bit Not being a part of it I loved it

I forgot my original point Yeah Okay So I think it was Alright I'm back Why does Why does Batman need a sidekick What is he doing

It's funny with Batman Because most of the Robins It's incidental Yeah You know what I mean He takes them up to the ward Yeah he sees them And he's like

Oh that poor kid And then he's like I was a poor kid Yeah like Maybe I'll adopt this kid And he's like Well you know what I mean? He takes him up to the ward. Yeah, he sees him and he's like, oh, that poor kid. And then he's like, I was a poor kid. Yeah, like, maybe I'll adopt this kid. And he's like, well, you know what? I'm Batman-ing. Maybe it'd be nice to have a little help or something. Or is this his terrible way at bonding?

Yeah, like, does he just not? Well, does it happen a lot where, like, the Robin, pre-becoming Robin, realizes that Bruce Wayne's Batman? Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. There's that Robin that tries to steal the Batmobile's tie. Is that Grayson, I think? No, that's Jason Todd. Jason Todd, yeah.

Grayson is a flying acrobat and his parents get shot. And then Batman's like, I know you want revenge, I know what that's like, let me help you out. That's a kind of mentor-mentee situation. You lost your parents, I lost my parents to violence, Gotham sucks, let me help you out yeah that's a kind of mentor mentee you lost your parents i lost my parents to violence gotham sucks let me help you because he tries he pretty much brings dick grayson in to stop him from becoming what jason todd is yeah it's just funny that he's like i've

nailed this i can do it again yeah i'll do it again hey piece of shit kid stealing my tires you want revenge i know you do yeah oh no i I've got to... No, I just want to die as the self for money. Oh no, I've got to do range droppings. Oh fuck, okay, I guess you can't win him every time. Oh, now he's dead. Oh, now he's back. Oh no, he hates me. That makes sense.

I would too. Batman left him with Joker to get Crobot. Yeah. Does Batman use him as bait? Oh, he uses him as bait Literally doesn't he Pretty much Later or The first time

No in Death of the Family I don't know Death of Yeah Death of the Family I think this Joker just gets him Yeah It's a bit of a shock for Batman Yeah yeah

No I know Batman's upset That he's dead But I can't remember I don't think Batman Put him in that position No no no Joker just did what Joker does And Joker's about

Yeah I thought it was something Like I thought it was Batman's actions led to the death of Jason. I mean, the fact that he has a young boy being a Robin. I think he's like, I put you in danger by introducing you to this lifestyle. And then he's got a son that becomes third Robin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True, true, true. Although it depends because I think the introduction of girl Robin happens before Damian Wayne,

but in chronological order, Damian's first. Well, are we talking about the Frank Miller one? Yeah. What's her name? Jessica? It's been too long since I've read that. Wonderful comic book. Really great. Yeah, we're there.

Unless we talk about Frank Miller, maybe the best. But do you reckon, okay, well, the question being, are sidekicks worth it? Has it worked out for Batman? Well, again, what's his purpose to do so? Because this is what I'm trying to get at. Are you training someone up to replace you?

Which is what I kind of felt a lot of them did. Which is kind of like you have Batman being like, well, I'm not going to be around to protect Gotham forever. And I will eventually one day die. So I need someone to instill my values on Gotham. It's weird he goes with a robin. Because he's like, I rule Gotham by fear. Robins. Not the scariest birds.

Are people scared of robins? I would argue they're scarier birds. Yeah, I think so. Crow, scarier than a robin. Yeah. But isn't the idea with the robin

is that the robin acts as a kind of distraction. Yes. Robin's bright. The villains are like, well, I'm going to beat the shit out of this kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then Batman comes up behind, back of the head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that's what Batman's thinking. I guess it's that. Maybe if you're Batman,

you don't really care about these kids. They're a misfit. It's annoying that they're not distracted enough, the crooks I'm trying to beat the shit out of. Well, Batman's whole thing, the whole time has been like, I loathe having a Bat family because it's a weakness. Yeah, yeah. I'm in love with these people. And then he continually

has the lesson of like... I love to say that. I'm in love with my family, freak. Yeah, say I love my family. Don't say you're in love with your family, you freak. I meant I love these people. That's better. Fuck it out. Enjoy reading Moby Dick.

Goddamn family kissing weirdos. You kiss your family on the mouth with them lips, you freak. Did you read Moby Dick with those lips? I wish I wrote out loud. I wish I didn't know how to read in my head. That would be so funny. Just like murmuring.

Call me a shmell. Call me a shmell. Call me on the phone. Jackson, what areel. I'm going on the boat of Moby Dick. Jackson, what are you saying? Nothing, I'm just reading. And as Ahab's spear went into Moby Dick, and then Moby Dick steered, and the rope from the spear accidentally got tangled around Ahab's throat,

and he got dragged off to sea and hanged at the same time, Ishmael thought, was it all worth it? The end. Beautiful book. That is how M, was it all worth it? The end. Beautiful book. That is how Moby Dick ends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Word for word. Was it all worth it to be on a boat?

Yeah. Or what being on the ocean? I think I meant God, because Moby Dick means God, maybe. Means God, not represents. No, no, no, no, no. He means God. Moby Dick means God, yeah. Yeah, so again, it's like what what is so

Batman uses sidekicks as a distraction yes basically as something shiny yeah that these crooks can then also punch

but also with Batman it's like it's like he you know there's like the fucked up psychology of him being like maybe I need a son

yeah and he just doesn't know how to raise a boy well that's the thing so it's like well my parents failed me by getting murdered

yeah I will succeed where they didn failed me by getting murdered. Yeah. I will succeed where they didn't by not getting murdered. Yeah. Good strap. Good strap. Good stuff. Then you've got, I guess, Captain America. Yeah.

Who has Bucky. Now, what? Why? The funny thing about the Captain America-Bucky situation is- Bucky doesn't seem like a sidekick. Well, yeah, but he definitely also is a sidekick. That's the way he is represented in the... To me, oftentimes, in comics especially,

it's because you have... They're so much like... They're littler. Like, it's a size difference. Yeah, they're a bit smaller, so they become a sidekick. So you've kind of got like, oh, the big one is the leader, and then you've got...

Is it just basically like who's in charge? Well, it's weird with Captain America and Bucky because they were friends beforehand. Like, do you think Bucky, it's like if, you know, the three of us, we got super soldiered or whatever. And you became our sidekick. Yeah, and you were like, and obviously you're our sidekick, Jackson. I was like, but we're all equally super soldiered. And you're like, yeah, well, you have more sidekick vibes. Yeah, would you be shocked by that?

I would say the more shocking... What I would be shocked at is that I didn't get the role of mascot. Well, obviously, Zammett is Douche's sidekick or vice versa. And you are the mascot. We kind of have a sidekick of a sidekick, Jackson, so you're mascot, get in the dog costume. Is there any sidekicks that have sidekicks? I mean, Nightwing, not a sidekick.

Well, yeah, I guess you upgrade from being a sidekick to your own boy. Yeah, the moment you get a sidekick yeah well yeah I guess you upgrade from being a sidekick to your own boy yeah the moment you get a sidekick you're your own boy yeah yeah yeah that's Pat is the third option

you know oh yeah you become crypto so like you're like Superman Superboy crypto

pretty much Batman Robin I didn't actually think about it until it's come up in this episode but Damian Wayne being sidekick is fucked up. It's weird.

Don't have your own son as a sidekick. That's why I'm like, I don't know. The definitions of sidekick seems to kind of ebb and flow with the tide at this point. Honestly, at this point, it just has to be a vibe, and if someone says, this is my sidekick, you just go, okay. Yeah, because I think it all just comes down to whoever is in charge. Yeah. Because they could be like, this is my sidekick, you just go, okay. Yeah. Because I think it all just comes down to whoever is in charge. Yeah.

Because they could be like, this is my good friend. This is my assistant. This is my sidekick. Because look at the X-Men. They're just a team of like, hey, should we just beat up that one guy? And everyone's like, all in. What's that? Did one person insult you?

Oh, let's get the fellas. We're getting them. We're getting them. Well, the dictionary meaning of sidekick is a person's assistant or close associate, especially one who has less authority than that person. I guess it's an authority thing. So like Sherlock and Watson. Well, I was going to bring up Sherlock and Watson.

That's a good sidekick. That is the example here. Sherlock Holmes bumbling sidekick Watson. They just kick Watson in that sentence. Do him some dirty. Sherlock Holmes bumbling fuckhead piece of shit. Of a fucking worthless friend. This is worm Watson.

This is worm sidekick Watson. But it's funny with Watson because Watson contributes. I mean, look, he is a doctor. He's, you know, plenty intelligent or whatever. Well, not according to that set of... No, not at all. But it's Sherlock Holmes who solves the mysteries. Well, yeah.

So what does Watson do? He's the... I guess he helps Sherlock solve it because Watson is being like, well, here's... He gathers the information. Yeah, so... And he's kind of maybe a bouncing board for Sherlock.

Yeah. So with lawyers, right? So you have your research team, your paralegals, all that kind of stuff. They're like, okay, so do they go and they're the ones doing the research, going through all the different books, like finding precedent. Are they the main lawyer's sidekicks? I think that you could say that

and they would be insulted, but it's kind of true. Oh, you're a paralegal so you're the lawyer's sidekick. In a way. Well, okay. It is its own job. Well, it's kind of like. Oh, you're a paralegal, so you're the lawyer's sidekick. In a way. Well, okay, it is its own job, but okay. Well, it's kind of like a lawyer apprenticeship, hey? So if he's your mentor, you're the mentee. Yeah, why don't they call it a lawyer apprenticeship? Why do some things get an apprenticeship and some things don't?

Only trades get apprenticeships, right? Yeah. Is that true? You can't be an apprentice like a doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm like an MD. Well, no, what's the, there is a Doctor. What's the, or is it just Junior Doctor?

Junior Doctor, yeah. Student Doctor, yeah. Because you do that and you specialize. But ultimately it's, yeah, there's no apprentice. What's Franco in the late seasons of Scrubs called? Right? Quickly catch up to that sentence. Yeah, I watched that filter through Zabit's brain.

That was cool. At that point, they've graduated. When they first appear, it's medical school. Because they've gone through the schooling and they've got the four years or whatever it is. Is it registrar or something like that? Or on placement, maybe? They're on placement. I guess they're the junior doctors.

It's basically just a hierarchy. It's another form of hierarchy, right? So you've got your senior management, and then you've got your middle management, and then you've got the drones, as it were. But like, okay, so with Rob... Sorry, he's a regular worker. Say you work in an office job and you have a manager. Are you the

manager's sidekick? No, because you're part of a team. If you're the assistant manager. You're the assistant sidekick. But then what are the people under you? Unduling. Minions. I don't know.

Kevin. I guess if you're a villain and you have a sidekick, you also then have minions. Well, yeah, but villains I feel, don't often have sidekicks. They just have goons and minions. I'd rather have goons than minions. Yeah, yeah, same, same, same. Just two big guys.

Oh, that's cool. That's awesome, dude. That would fucking rule. Yeah. But see, with Robin, does Robin know one day he will fill the role of Batman? Does he understand that as part of the deal? I think that's the unwritten rule. That's what isn't said.

It's the elephant in the room, as it were. It's like, yeah, we're going through this and I want to train you and help you in your process. You're grieving because your parents died, etc. I don't know how to connect the people since what we're doing. We need to have another

second Batman, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And maybe you'll need to take over from me. I do think there's that unsaid kind of thing, which is like, you're going to take over from me. And the same thing, I think, with Captain America, with Bucky, especially like, you know, or Falcon, kind of more later in, like after he gets frozen, comes back again,

and they become like his sidekick. It's that kind of like, well? Because what's the difference between, you know, I'm just thinking in terms of comics, when Captain America, say, teams up with, say, Sharon Carter. Yeah. Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. kind of thing. Is it the authority thing? They have the same amount of authority?

But why does Falcon not have the same amount of authority as Captain America? He's not a captain. Fair enough. Carter, Captain. Oh, okay. Captain Carter, Captain America. Captain Carter, Captain. Oh, okay. Two Captains together. Captain Carter, Captain America. Captain Hook. Captain Hook.

Captain Hook. But like, Schmee. Schmee's sidekick. Schmee's a sidekick. Wendy's sidekick? No. Rufio. To who?

Rufio's sidekick. Peter. Love interest. No. Yeah, love interest. You can't have a sidekick also be a love interest. I was going to say, Rufio. But Rufio was a sidekick to Peter Pan that usurped him and became the leader of the Lost Boys. Against Peter Pan's wishes, too.

Well, Peter Pan was playing fucked off. He was Robin Williams then. Yeah, he was Robin Williams then. And some might have stepped up to the plate. Yeah, it's not really on him. That's like a bitter sidekick. Yeah, it's not on Rufio. It's not on Rufio.

Well, I mean, that happens with Batman, too, sometimes. Yeah, well, they abandon their post. Do you think the other superheroes find it weird that Batman has sidekicks? Well, because a lot of them also have sidekicks. No, but Superman doesn't. Wonder Woman doesn't. The Flash? Sometimes does.

Sometimes does. I was a kid Flash. Green Arrow does? Speedy? Yes. Hooked on heroin. Oh, I'm sad. Green Lantern doesn't.

Part of a team. Hawkman doesn't. Hawk Girl? No, they're partners, I would say. And also the Maori. Green Lantern doesn't part of a team Hawkman doesn't Hawk girl no they're partners I would say yeah and also their marriage is fucked up to be like

my wife my psychic yeah yeah dating a psychic's bad because you get a psychic because of her power dynamic yeah

yeah there's the like is Batgirl Batman's sidekick no I think for a bit but not very long. Oracle? No.

She's like eyes in the sky. She's Intel. Yeah, but is that not a sidekick? No. That's an assistant. That's an assistant. But not a sidekick. But not a sidekick.

Don't read the definition again. The dictionary, when it's on your side. I hate the dictionary when that's it. That's what I hate the most. It's so funny that you hate the dictionary yet love reading. You've called me out. I've been undone.

The dictionary's full of your precious little words. I'm like, if you remember the tick, there's like tick and Arthur, and like Arthur is the tick's sidekick, but like reluctantly, and that's because the tick is a buffoon of a man. And it's like, you're my sidekick and it's like

okay yeah well what can I do is it is it teens it is often teens is it just a teen thing well I guess

if you're an adult and then you have a teen hero yeah are they the sidekick and the moment is Speedy a teen

I think so yeah Speedy's a teen I think the moment you become a legal adult yeah you become a partner? I think so. Yeah, Speedy's a teen. I think the moment you become a legal adult. Yeah, you become a partner. You become a partner. Because I guess if I say I had a superpower.

Because Bucky was not Captain America's sidekick. Well, because in the movies, he's just like his friend and they go to the army. But in the comics, he is a teenager. Yeah, in the comics. Which is why I think it's the whole height thing. Yeah, I agree. No, but in the comics, isn't it he's a sidekick pre-Captain America getting frozen? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, when he comes back, he's the Winter Soldier, no longer a sidekick. A villain. A villain. Then friend. Then good friend. Then Captain America. Oh, no.

But yeah, if I had superpowers and was a superhero, like if I was roaming around or whatever, and then I met a kid. Hang on. But Lloyd's not a teenager. No. So he can't be a sidekick. No, but I think he is. Watson's not a teenager.

Watson's not a teenager. He's not a teenager, then. That's correct. And yes, he's a sidekick. See, I always say Watson's a sidekick. Lloyd's not a sidekick. Yeah, but what about- I think it's because also he's paid.

Lloyd isn't a- He applied for that job. Do you think Watson's not getting paid? Yeah, but not through- Watson's a doctor. also he's paid. Yeah. Lloyd isn't- He applied for that job. Do you think Watson's not getting paid? Yeah, but not through- Watson's a doctor. He's not getting paid by Sherlock. Not through Sherlock. But is Sherlock not getting-

Are they not both being hired out to solve cases and Watson's getting paid too? Why? Dude, say I'm the British police and I've got a crime- We need to get Holmes and Watson on the case. And I'm like, well, we need to get Holmes.

Yeah. What's Watson going to do? Also, it depends how the structure is set up. Is it like Sherlock Pappage Limited, where it's like the company is hired, and then that pays both Sherlock and Watson. Also, isn't Watson in charge of the finances, or else Sherlock just keeps spending it on also heroin? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes the speedy route. Yeah, that's a little shame. Where not the sidekick, but the actual superhero goes on the heroin route. Yeah. What about Wilson to house? Oh, okay. Well, that's Sherlock and Watson again. Yeah, but they're colleagues and both get paid from the same place.

Oh, that's true. Yeah. Well, then- Yeah, but Watson actually is like, yeah, he's not being paid by Sherlock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they sidekicks or colleagues? Yeah, colleagues. Because they like, yeah, he's not being paid by Sherlock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they psychics or colleagues? They're colleagues. Because they are just Sherlock and Watson.

They are colleagues. I don't know if anyone's ever... Sherlock and... Yeah, no, we got that right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you've noticed this. Holmes, House. Whoa.

Watson, Wilson. Ah! Party, I got nothing. Yeah, could be anybody. Moriarty? But also maybe sometimes it's a... Does House have. Moriarty? But also maybe sometimes it's a- Does House have a Moriarty? The guy that shot him?

Diabolic. The guy that fucked up his leg is his Moriarty, I guess. Or drugs his Moriarty. Yeah, maybe. Diabolic or drugs. You've got me hooked on you again. But isn't House's drugs also Sherlock's drugs? Isn't that like a one-to-one there?

Yeah. Maybe he has no variety. Sure. I'm going to find out. This is where I'd say their colleagues when they're working together. Yeah. Sorry, their colleagues when they're working because they're not working in the same department, right? Yeah, yeah.

together. Yeah. Sorry, they're colleagues and they were working because they're not working in the same department, right? Yeah, yeah. But then when House gets Wilson's advice or like helps him out in a case. Yeah. Suck it.

Yeah, okay. Because it's Sherlock going to Watson to be like, help me out with this thing. Yeah, yeah. Is that where it comes from? Is it like, I need help with a thing, but it's my problem? It's my problem. You are helping me with this problem. Because Robin is never like, Batman, help me with this problem. Because Robin is never like Batman, help me with this problem. Batman's always like, Robin, help me with this problem.

Yeah, that's true. And often Robin, if he's dealing with something, he'll deal with it by himself because he doesn't want Batman getting involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is that... House has a Moriarty called Moriarty. Okay. They gave up, I guess. It was at the end of season

two of House. Is it? So they could have called him, I don't know, Morrison? Yeah. Or changed his first name to Jack. Mr. Jack Moriarty. Is he an evil doctor? Does he shoot now? Jack Moriarty is the final antagonist,

the final antagonist of season two of House MD, acting as the main antagonist in the season finale, No Reason. Were they just getting fed up by everyone being like, hang on a second, is this a bit of Sherlock? And everyone's like, oh my fucking God, we weren't subtle. Here's Moriarty. Yes, JD, I've never seen you. You're doing the fucking Wojak face.

He's Wojakin'. Jack Moriarty was the man who claimed to be a former patient of House. Moriarty shot House. Yay! He was the guy. You did the Wojak face. We're Wojak-ing hard here today. Who knew that the sidekick episode would get like this?

Yeah. Huh. Wow. With the Breaking Bad one, maybe. They're like, oh, yeah, this one would get silly. Jesse Pinkman? Side's silly Jesse Pinkman Sidekick Jesse Pinkman is a sidekick

He's also a teenager Yeah Teenager And all the problems Tend to be Walter White Yeah yeah yeah Absolutely

And it's always Walter White Going to Jesse For help Yeah And now with Jesse Going in the other direction And if it is

The other direction It often is Like Walter doesn't help Yeah yeah He's got no time If Walter makes it worse Then he kills his girlfriend Yeah

Jesse I'm worried About your heroin addiction. I'm killing your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did it fix it? In a way. Yes. But it did cause a plane crash.

Yeah, yeah. I forgot about. Yeah. Season two of Breaking Bad, I'm here to say it, very stupid. Yeah, a lot of it. Kind of stupid. Yeah, yeah. But that's like very stupid.

Pink bear in the pool. What's the pink bear about? Oh. Oh, it fell out of the sky. It fell out of the sky. It's a plane bear. Yeah. Awesome.

Yeah, sneaky plane bears. I think sometimes a sidekick and a guy. Mm-hmm. What do you call the other side of the sidekick? The other half of the dynamic. The sidekick. The guy who... Don't like that.

Leader and sidekick. Yeah. But anyway, sometimes I think it could be a personality thing too. You know? Like if you have one person who just is less dominant in the conversation or in the way that they're behaving, they're probably going to be a sidekick, right? I guess. I don't like that we're making the relationship sub-dom.

But I mean, there's an element of sub-dom to it, you know? Because you're in charge, and the sidekick's there to help you out, but there's no money exchanging hands. It's just, you know, if Batman was paying Robin, different situation. Not a sidekick, a hire. Yeah. A guy who works for him.

Yeah. Yeah. Which is why I don't think Lloyd is a sidekick because he's being paid. I think, I mean, we know how I stand on this. I do know. I do know what you're saying. So is it a thing where it can't be for money? Yeah.

Because an apprenticeship, I would argue, well, it's kind of like a sidekick. Yeah, yeah. Because you're learning those skills to then, you know, do that job, i.e. fight crime. But with an apprenticeship is often money. Not a lot. Yeah, yeah. Some. Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, I guess you got to, is it a volunteer position? I don't know. And is it, and this is the question of the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it worth it? So what do you get out of it? Is it good to have a sidekick? Is it about your legacy, like living on? So what do you get out of it? Is it good to have a sidekick? Is it about your legacy, like, living on?

Because, like, what's the point of the sidekick? If it's to kind of help you, well, it ends when you're like, I don't need any more help. I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or is it like, I want to continue the Batman name, so it's kind of like you will be replacing me. This is dangerous territory because I could probably use Batman

and Robin as an example, but I'm choosing to use Wilson and Lloyd. Okay. Because a sidekick is often important because it levels out. It makes up for some of the very, like, obvious flaws that the hero or mentor, which apparently is what you would say. Okay, mentor, sidekick. I would go mentor, mentee. But hey, whatever. Sidekick, main kick.

I don't know. Sidekick is apparently an informal word, which I don't know whymentee, but hey, whatever. Sidekick, main kick. I don't know. Sidekick is apparently an informal word, which I don't know why I said apparently. That makes sense. There isn't really one for one. Bullies often have sidekicks. Talking about villains. Bullies. Yeah. No, they've got goons. A goon is not a sidekick, dude. Shut up.

No, goons. Shut your mouth. Yeah, but you're wrong. Like I said, it's not even, it's like a goon and a sidekick are not the same thing. I've never seen that argument by someone in their, I remember seeing this argument at like 16.

You're seeing a lot of things. I remember a student yelling at one of our, like a fellow student yelling at our teacher, like, no, but you're wrong. No, but you're wrong. And it was the funniest thing because they had nothing of it. They couldn't argue about it. You can't argue with someone

being like, yeah, you're like, no, but you're wrong. And she's like, no, no, it's no, but you're wrong. She had no power in that situation. It fucking ruled. That kid ruined her day. Yeah, well,

I hope to do the same to Jackson because a goon and a sidekick are not the same thing. No, no, I wasn't saying they were. I wasn't arguing that. I was saying

sometimes bullies will have sidekicks. Yeah, bullies do have sidekicks. Sometimes they have goons. A bully sidekick is a goon. A goon is,

no, no. You've got rocks where your brain should be. Maybe you put down a book and started living in the real world once in your life. You'd know this.

Who's your sidekick? I don't need a sidekick. I'm doing fine as I am. Where's your goons? Again, don't need them. When teaming up. Oh, I see. With a partnership. Also, like I was saying before,

a sidekick often covers the floor, so So Ari sack of shit Very rude Lloyd understanding patient kind House angry piece of shit Addicted to drugs Wilson not addicted to drugs Kind caring

It's funny because it's kind of the same with Robin and Batman Batman piece of shit No friends not nice to talk to It's funny because I would say When it comes to a sidekick, a sidekick usually has people skills when the mentor or the master splinter,

no, master splinter, the turtles aren't sidekicks, they're protégés. Yeah, I was going to say, well, protégés as well, like, you throw in another term, it's kind of the same thing. Maybe the goon, hang on, let me cook. Okay.

All right. Hold up. I'll let him cook. All right. I'll let you cook. Gee, I hope that term doesn't go out of... Doesn't stop being cool in six weeks. So if you have a sidekick, sidekick's got people skills.

You don't. If you have a goon, it's the other way around. You got the sidekicks. Your other guy doesn't. If you have a goon, it's the other way around. You got the sidekicks, your other guy doesn't. If Robin was in charge, Batman would be his goon rather than his sidekick. What do we think? Because a goon is often bigger than you. Yeah, and intimidating and tough and violent.

Yeah. That's Batman. And knows people skills. Like Frankenstein's monster, a lurch, if you will. Yeah, yeah. A lurch is a butler. I know, I know. I'm just saying, appearance-wise.

That's the size. Yeah, that's the vibe. You kind of want a big, hulking kind of creature. Yeah, yeah. Now, Rick Jones, who I would argue may be a professional sidekick. He's a sidekick to many. Yeah. He's a rare instance where he never graduates. He's a sidekick to many. He's a rare

instance where he never graduates, he just finds a different mentor. He's a serial sidekick. He's like, I got Captain Marvel, this is alright. He's collecting them like baseball. Maybe I'll try a Hulk? Yeah, maybe I'll try a Hulk maybe. Captain America's like,

you could fit into Bucky's old uniform I reckon. Rick Dern should be in the new Winter Soldier. Oh yes, please. Captain America's like, you could fit into Bucky's old uniform, I reckon. Whoa. Rick Jones should be in the new Winter Soldier. Oh, yes, please. Hell yeah. Yes. So, yeah, because he's a consistent sidekick. But is the thing about Rick Jones that he just doesn't want the, you know.

He doesn't want, like, responsibility of being a hero. He's just like, I'm a sidekick. I assist heroes doing their beers. And is that just like. me this returns as the example of why i think i could get sucked into the sidekick lifestyle because basically shenanigans yeah yeah but you don't have to pay full amount of attention to it because like you just get a call being like hey shenanigans are happening you're like i'm ari i'm on my way you just need to make a speech at my wedding and i'll do anything yeah yeah being like, hey, shenanigans are happening. You're like, Ari, I'm on my way. You just need to make a speech at my wedding and I'll do anything.

But yeah, so like, Rick Jones is constantly just being like, I was in the negative zone from it. I probably fought Thanos at some point. I shouldn't have, but I did. He did, he certainly did. And I guess because he's not a permanent sidekick, I guess he's a part-time sidekick.

There's less responsibility, too. Is he more... Gotham blows up, no one's like, fuck you, Robin. They're like, fuck you, Batman. Absolutely. Well, because Rick Jones, I think, is an anomaly. Because he's almost like... His approach to sidekicking is almost like a summer job.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Where it's very much a casual... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just like, I'll put. Where it's a very much a casual. His main focus is his music, which is awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just like, I'll put that in the guitar for a little bit. Alright, I'll come in and get out of the negative zone. I'll come and shoot Captain Marvel if you want. Sure, he's giving

cancer to folk or some shit. We gotta put him in the machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? What's his problem? I can shoot that problem too. Whatever, dude. I'll help you put Captain Marvel in the machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No worries.

And it kind of works out for Rick Jones because he's kind of everyone's best friend, you know, as a consequence of that. Is that also an aspect of a psychic to be someone's really good friend? And protection, too. Like, you know. Like, you're protecting him from more of, like, the social, like, things that might hurt them. Absolutely. So, like, as, you know, Batman, Bruce Wayne, not exactly the best people person.

Whereas Robin is. And so if someone's going to like hurt Batman through like social ways. Yeah, that's true. Robin's there to kind of like shield Batman's fragile ego. Yeah, shield his feelings. But also, you're Rick Jones.

You've sidekicked for enough superheroes that if anybody comes for you, you know you got like 40 people who've got your back in that situation. That's a good way to be as well. Yeah. Because then I'm like, well, I'm good friends with everybody. Exactly. Somebody fucking Thanos comes to click you off or whatever.

Yeah. You say, oh, really, dude? Me? Rick fucking Jones? Yeah. Best friend of Hulk? Best friend of Captain Mar-Vell? Best friend of Captain America?

You get your phone and somehow, Like a kid fucking with an elevator, just swipe your finger down, call every single person that you've been a sidekick for? Yeah. You're fine. Rick Jones I don't think has really died in the comics, which means it's sidekicking fucking rocks. He dies when the snap happens in the comics,

but then he obviously comes back when the snap happens again, and he's like, I met several deceased rock stars.ard's went to heaven yeah that's awesome of course the rock and roll uh he kills a guy i feel sad about it but he doesn't die are we saying that it's better to be a sidekick than to have a sidekick i think i'd agree with that i i agree with that too because you're like i mean look yes joker came for robin we might get crowbar that is true correct however by and large unless you have a sociopath like joker in your rogues gallery they tend to go for mostly their hero yeah absolutely the main kick but although you as a psychic you you tend to get kidnapped a lot and used as bait. Yeah, that is true. I mean,

hopefully, you know, the superhero has to be good because otherwise, like say, Bucky, you're frozen in time for a bit and become a tool of the Ruskies. There is a risk. Yeah, there is. If your superhero

fucks up, he's pretty bad. Yeah. I think also they're more invested, because Rick Jones is a sometime sidekick. He's not invested as much. So they're like, haha, we'll capture you. That'll piss off Captain America. He's like, I'm currently

sidekicking for the Hulk, you fucking idiot. And then like, oh shit, I didn't prepare for Hulk. We put up all these anti-shield barriers and gun barriers, but not Hulk barriers. And then Hulk comes in and stomps on Hulk. I guess this does raise another thing, and something that I sadly

did just come across. Sidekicks often die. Yes. Yeah. That is true. Like, they drop like flies. Like, more so than the heroes. Oh, and they're expendable. Well, yeah, they drop like flies. Like, more so than the heroes. Oh, they're expendable. Well, yeah, that is the... Rick Jones, casual side... No, he unfortunately gets killed by a firing squad

ordered by Captain America. Ordered by Captain America? I'm sick of this. Sorry, is this when he's a Hydra lad? Yeah, during Secret Empire. Yeah, okay. Oh, is that where Rick Jones is currently? Underground?

Six feet underground. Well, yeah, because that's 2017 when Secret Empire happens. Rick Jones is currently? Underground? Six feet underground. Well, yeah, because that's 2017. Rick Jones is dead in the earth. Yeah, Captain America later sentences a captive Rick Jones to death by firing squad. After his death, revival of subject B. Rick Jones is back. Hey! Can't bring him down.

Oh, wait, no, I remember this. Isn't this from Immortal Hulk? Yep. Yeah, yeah, he comes back as a monster, man. Oh, he's fucked up. Oh, yeah, he's... He's got, like, fingers for a face. He's got, he's upside, yeah, he's upside down a bit.

Yeah. Like, his head's upside down. I don't think, it actually ends up not being, look, douche, a bit of spoilers. Yeah. Cover your ears. Yeah. It's actually not, it's the leader.

Oh, no. Leader of power, you know, puppeteilers. Cover your ears. It's actually not. It's the leader. Oh, no. Leader of power, you know, puppeteering his body. That sucks. So Rick Jones is not really bad. Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe sometimes. Yeah.

He's hard to say. But also, the thing about being a sidekick is not always. I mean, you know, if you're Rick Jones, you can quit whenever you like. But can you get out of it? Could Robin be like Batman? I'm done. I don't want to be a psychic. Well, it's hard for, say, a Robin because he's also a ward.

Well, yeah, that would be really awkward at home. Because, you know, it's like, I've not been a Robin, and, you know, Batman's like, oh, really? Well, I guess give me your bat credit card. Yeah. And no more daddy money. I don't like. I would love to stop fighting for's money yeah my lambos daddy money is the reason i'm here yeah but it would make it weird you know if you were one of the robins and you

left and then the wayne family's getting together and everybody's talking about the fights they've done and you know fighting and you're just like well yeah I had a good day too yeah yeah open the record store no many goodbye yeah Gotham's a bad place for here yeah yeah I mean if I'm in a band or something I'm staying away from Gotham I'll be like come to Metropolis it's just across the bay yeah catch the boat yeah just make sure you don't catch one of Joker's ferries Make sure you catch it from the metropolis Oh I see the problem

Oh yeah Nobody's coming from Gotham Where's Hell's Kitchen? Not Gotham New York New York Definitely could not be Gotham Marvel

Also New York I think it's a real place It is a real place yeah So I guess also potentially There's a New York in DC Yeah yeah Or do they just replace it all with like Star City There's a real place. It is a real place, yeah. So I guess also potentially in, there's a New York in DC. Yeah, yeah. Or do they just replace it all with like Star City? No, there's a New York.

There's a New York. So there is a Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, it's funny because in America, there's too many, because of the way the comic book cities are laid out, it would just be America just has like New York sized cities everywhere. Yeah, yeah. All along the East Coast. Yeah. The city.

West Coast, no. There's nothing. No one's been there in DC. They got halfway through the continent and stopped. The continent? This is a continent. North America. Not North America, but America is a continent.

The Americas. As they call it. Yeah, I guess. But isn't North America just in South? Yeah, North America is a continent. North America, South America, right? Isn't it the whole thing? We are so stupid and this is a continent. North America, South America, right? Isn't that the whole thing? We are so stupid, and this is on record.

This sucks. I'm going to look it up. Well, I mean, at one point, sure, but I think they've drifted. Is there anything connecting them? Okay, thank God I'm right. There's nothing, because it's like a tiny little... Yeah, yeah, I wasn't sure about that. Yeah, but continents can be joined

because Europe and Asia are connected. No, that's what we were saying. It wasn't a debate whether it was all one continent or two. Yeah, but it's... At one point, maybe. No, but it's two continents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but Europe and Asia are connected.

Yeah, I see what you mean. I'm just glad that in this very stupid segment, I came out right. Asia, America, North America, Europe, South America, Antarctica, and Oceania. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. We're there. We're okay.

Oh, my God. That was scary. We're in a roller coaster. Because continents, they're just the plates. Why? Why are you? Don't. Don't walk straight back.

We just walked through the land. I don't know. It's just the plates, yeah? I don't know if they're the tectonic plates. I don't think so. Well, there's a fault line. No. In some areas of America, they have earthquake.

No, because isn't New Zealand on its own continental plate? And we don't consider that its own continent. I don't know. Why would you walk into that? Why? I'm a curious fella with some questions Google it and don't say it in a podcast We're clever, we're very clever

We're smart boys We're smart boys into a really good podcast We're just smart boys People listen to this podcast Wow, this is my favorite first episode of a podcast I've ever heard. These fuckers don't know condoms from fucking snowdrifts. They don't even really seem to know what's going on at all. Fair, fair, fair assessment. If I found out that this podcast was hosted by worms that had lips that had learned to talk, I'd be like, oh, yeah.

That makes sense. Three mandrills got in one studio just out of boon. At one point, this podcast was the number one comedy podcast in Australia, you say. Yeah. Are you sure? One point. That makes sense. I get why.

What about now? No, no. You'll have to scroll for a while. Yeah. Yeah. How to scroll for a while. Yeah. Yeah. How far the mighty have fallen. That's the thing about us. We just keep getting worse.

Are psychics worth it? I guess it depends on who you ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like us. I mean, maybe the psychics peaked. Yeah, maybe they peaked, you know, a while ago. Yeah, just like us. I mean, maybe the sidekicks peaked. Yeah, maybe they peaked a while ago. They just sort of rusted out the clock. Yeah, they're just sort of coasting, waiting for their main kick to retire.

But he never does. So they're constantly second, third, 400th string. They're like, one time I was number two. People often were saying that I was going to be in charge next. Like I was going to be the king. Yeah, yeah. But I went, I guess I came for the king. I missed.

I missed. Sometimes Hamish and Andy leave the country, you go to number one, and then they come back and then you look and you're like, ah. Never mind, never mind. Fair call. Yeah, good work, Ham. You're doing well. You're in the television

Making Lego or something That's pretty cool That's good Psychics Are they worth it? I don't know I don't know I don't know if I'd have one

A system would be nice But like I don't know what I need to do On a day to day basis Imagine telling someone else Too much responsibility Maybe I'd be the Other than the death though

If the psychic is cool Providing vibes, I'm into it. If the sidekick's asking me too many questions, I hate it. The sidekick just wants to hang out. Yeah, whatever. What about goons? Would you have goons? Nah. Do my own dirty work.

I want goons. I know you want goons because you're a worm who can't protect himself. Yeah, and I just sit huddled up sort of slimy on a chair and go, Seize them! I think I'd like to be a goon. I don't have to think too much. Three different things. I'm the mentor slash hero.

Jackson's the villain and you're a goon. Yeah. Because I don't have to think. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. That episode we did. The freak hole and stuff.

We've been here before. We've been here before. I guess after 400 plus episodes, you cover old ground again. The more things change, I guess. They're the same. Makes sense. Makes sense. I don't want responsibility.

You want to be, like, I guess, don't want to get your hands dirty, but you kind of want to see it. I didn't even consider that no responsibility was an option. I just assumed, yeah, I guess I'm in charge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess if Uncle Ben is dying in our arms, we're all taking a different moral lesson, and that's nice. Jackson's like, good.

Crime, okay. And I'm like, no. And you're like, yeah, I guess. Time to bash crooks. No, Uncle wrong. Yeah, Uncle wrong. no and you're like yeah I guess time to bash crooks I'm like no Uncle Wrong Uncle Wrong what a rough thing to hear

Aunt May and Uncle Wrong we gotta end the episode otherwise we can't if Aunt May and Uncle Wrong

get thrown out we gotta end the episode for the safety of our listeners so on that note I've been Joel I've been Jack

I've also been Joel. In conclusion, sidekicks are worth it if you want them, and if you don't, yeah, I understand. Five stars, please. Scroll down to wherever you're listening, five stars. Leave a review. That helps us climb them charts. Yeah, get more reviews, guys. We need it, okay?

Finally, if it'd be nice to leave our glory days again. Put us back on time. Look, I'll even write the review for you. I said it before, but that's the thing about Plum and the Death Star. They just keep getting worse. Five stars.