Plumbing the Death Star - Are Xenomorphs a Bad Weapon? (Feat. Mr Sunday Movies)

Episode Date: July 6, 2015

In which our heroes crash land on an alien planet, splash around in some black goo, and end up host to a parasitic alien as we ask if xenomorphs a good weapon? We attempt to decipher Prometheus, wonder what would happen if a facehugger impregnated a xenomorph, and explore the almost certain possibility of the existence of space gorillas. Zammit likens xenomorphs to pandas, James is amazed that xenomorphs happened twice, and Jackson just wants to talk about his Mogwai/Xenomorph theory. So avoid touching any mysterious eggs, don’t pet the snake alien, avoid thinking too hard about Prometheus, and try to figure out what the hell is going on. We’re not in space, so everyone can hear you scream.Want to help Blomkamp make a less confusing alien film? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a movie that makes sense. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least five books about making effective bio-weapons. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Sans Radio. The Sans stands for Sans. This episode's brought to you by Benjamin Kleinberg, Bear of Bark, that's not a name, Peter Dillon Trenchcard, Connor Peters, and David Keith. Thank you for donating. It really, really helps. Maybe I can afford allocution lessons because I struggle at speaking. So, if anyone else wants to donate, maybe like send in how to pronounce your name phonetically just to help out this baby boy?

Yeah, that would be handy. Anyway, enjoy the episode. Hey everybody, welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, Are xenomorphs a bad weapon? Okay, in Prometheus, right, we get shown that the xenomorphs are a weapon, right? Created by the Prometheus for presumably biological warfare. Because apparently we killed Jesus. Yeah, we killed Jesus. The Prometheans are super pissed.

They're like, oh, he was one of the elves! Why would you do that? Why are there no drawings of Jesus though, where he's like nine feet tall and white and bald? Yeah, exactly. Just super ripped. But we do have those drawings where he's super ripped. Yeah, that's true. I love that all the Prometheans

are just like super fucking jacked up. Okay, alright. Was that natural? Are they androids? What's on a lot of crossfit yeah a lot of this episode's gonna be what prometheus what happened i know nobody gave you any good explanation of what was occurring in prometheus it just ended and you were like okay yeah but like i just feel like there are better ways of going out going about taking out like a planet or anyone yeah then xenomorphs because it's such a complicated process what's the point and plus it's so dangerous all right so dangerous like it's so dangerous yeah but hang on but xenomorphs can't

fly and they can't build the they can't build a spaceship true but they can of course pilot a spaceship no they can't pilot a spaceship they can build a gross nest yeah they can build a spaceship. True. But they can, of course... Pilot a spaceship. No, they can't pilot a spaceship. They can build a gross nest. Yeah, they can build a gross nest in a spaceship, and they can sort of go in you, and you can pilot it. Whatever, I'm getting lost here. But if you were, say, orbiting a planet, those fuckers down there send a few xenomorphs,

wait a bit, and they can die off. Then we go down, and either we kill the xenomorphs or we wait for them to naturally die. I feel this is a good idea if your lifespan is really long. Yeah, or if you just want that planet done. Yeah. If you don't mind having a planet of xenomorphs in your solar system, sick.

That's a great plan. But also not, because then you have xenomorph eggs on your ship. Yeah, I don't want that but hang on so hang on does it hang on i just need to clear something up does a prometheus get xenomorphed in prometheus yes yeah but it's not the traditional xenomorph it's like a proto xenomorph nevertheless that means that that they have no like um system in place for if a xenomorph gets because okay what i mean you know in prometheus they go into that room full of eggs yes or little whatever the fucks jars jars they, I think. Jars.

They're like little mason jars for some reason. Yes. And that pops open. It is aware that there are people in there, right? Like everything goes a bit weird and they pop open and they attack Xenomorphs. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

One of them, do they touch it or something? It's a goo. And black goo. And the goo goes into the worm. And then the guy has sex with the woman and then she has a facehugger and then that facehugger attacks one of the Jesus and then the Jesus has a Xenomorph.

Yeah, there's a Jesus Xenomorph talking about. They're all Jesuses, right? They're all Jesuses. Jizai. Jizai. So what are these Jizai? These Jizai have made a weapon that could just attack them. Yes.

Do they? How? So, like, I'm trying to. In their defense, they fucked up. Like, they knew they fucked up. Yeah, I guess. They were like, shit, and they ran. That was that hologram stuff.

Yeah, but they manufactured so many of them. Somebody had this one idea. That's on them. I was like, sick. This forever. Someone was like, no, no, no, no. But they're like, it's got a great, it's on their face, then it's in their belly, and then it comes out of them.

It's the best. But I don't think that's what they were initially making. That goo does whatever it comes in contact with. Because you see one where it touches some worms, and then it becomes a snake. And then the guy's like, I'm going to pat this snake. What are you doing? For one. But I don't think it becomes a snake. Then the guy's like, I'm going to pat this snake. What are you doing? For one, but I don't think it's a weapon,

but I don't think it's specifically xenomorphs. I think that's an accidental byproduct. But then people try to use that as a weapon. The military are constantly like, let's do something with this. This must be something. Yeah, it is. Don't touch it is what it is. It's a hassle.

Yeah, it'd be kind of like us being like pandas. Don't touch it Is what it is It's a hassle Yeah It'd be kind of like us being like pandas Like we found pandas And this weird thing with pandas Is they just latch onto people's faces Vomit into their mouth Okay And then

This other bigger panda comes from out of their stomach Yeah And then just wrecks shit Yeah And then it lays an egg And out of that egg pops out a panda. Let's use this as a weapon. Eh?

But even that black goo is a retarded. I mean, I don't know what they were doing there, really. It was some kind of biological weapon. And that's the problem with that movie. What? What is it? Like, what happened? Why?

What? And how? Why any of it? And I know it's explained in a book or whatever but that's not i don't care i'm not reading reading is for chumps and fools you don't have a movie where you're like i know it made no sense read the book you're like that's why that's why i came to the movie i wanted to read the book there was a book and i was like no thank you this isn't how i passed year 12 literature. Exactly. I saw the movie.

I saw Baz Lueman's Romeo and Juliet. Exactly. I get it. That's every question I needed to know. I know what it's about. Teenagers in love, just like aliens. Yeah. But even that goo.

So let's assume that that goo takes, in some capacity, the genetic material of whatever it touches and makes, like, an evil version of that. Yeah. Can't think of it like the symbiote of Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah, it evils up whatever it touches. That's still an awful weapon. That's still, like, what was their plan?

Drop that into the ocean and be like, holy shit, terror sharks. Did that happen at the start? A wee? Did that? Yeah, no, wait, yeah, because it creates life, so maybe it's not a weapon, because at the start of Prometheus doesn't that guy drink that, and then he falls

into a river, and that's where human life starts, so is it not a weapon? What the fuck? Well, from a little bit off topic, but from what I can remember what Prometheus was, was trying to get across or someone explained this to me, and I was like, okay this kind of makes more sense to me, is that the Jizai, um they drink the goop or whatever they do and they sort of disintegrate themselves and then they go and they like create life.

Okay. And, you know, death is a part of life. And so they see as everything just like that wonderful Disney film, Lion King, Cirque of Life, we all, whatever. And they're like, yes, living is a part of dying is dying as a part of living okay um and so then when what's his name not ethan hawke the other white guy guy pierce guy pierce ethan hunt guy pierce i don't know three white guys ethan hawke the android and the android guy pierce no guy pierce and that that's why the Jizai they wake up is really pissed off at him is because he wants to continue to live.

Okay. And he's like, no, it's an affront to me because death is great. And he wants to kill old man Guy Pearce. And also when they reanimate the head, the head just has none of this. It's like, I've had enough. I'm dead, I'm done. Is that why it explodes yeah i thought that was a mistake i thought they like fucked up nah apparently it's all to do with the fact that they appreciate death and we don't why not make that clear to people watching that movie it's just like that there's a lot of angry

they were esteemed people they tore mich Fassbender's head off. Is that because they were like, this will never die because it's a robot? I don't know. Maybe. Because it's not part of the cycle? Who knows? It's the only one whose head they tore off, though. It didn't tear off anyone else's head.

I guess they're trying to kill him. Did it know it was a robot? Maybe not. Or maybe it did. What the hell is going on? Can they smell it? Is the alien a good weapon? Maybe it's great.

Well, I guess it's not a bad weapon, but it's for a very specific kind of outfit. It's a good weapon if you can... For example, you're in that orbiting ship. You throw some xenomorphs at this planet. They just take it over. Yeah. So the native race of that planet is now dead

and you've got nothing but xenomorphs. Yeah. What happens to those xenomorphs? Yeah, what's next? Oh, okay. Do they die from not eating? Do they need to eat? Do they cannibalise each other and then just start inbreeding?

Because what happens if a facehugger facehugs a xenomorph? Oh, whoa. And then pops out like an imagine like super alien like like 10 generations down that tongue that telescopic tongue oh my god that's awesome that is amazing so they'll be cannibalizing each other because then you say for example you're that powerful you just like put like a you know like a like a basic a ring almost around this planet like a no-fly zone like do not go down there it's a big wooden floating sign xenomorphs don't go back you know xenomorph inside yeah you know um beware of the xenomorph

yeah so what happens to our planet of xenomorphs if they're just left to their own device because of course they're going to go through everything that can, like, produce a Xenomorph. So they're going to go through, like, say there's a sapient. Say it goes down to, like, the earth. Wipes out humanity. But, of course, it's also going to... I think I know the answer to this. Oh, we keep going, though.

Then it's going to go to all the dogs, all the cats, all the baboons. The logical procession, man, dog, cat, baboon. Yes. Because I had a gorilla alien toy when I grew up. Oh, yeah, because for those who don't know, whatever the facehugger gets on, it takes the properties of that thing. Super like the goo makes an evil version. Exactly like the goo.

There you go. Exactly like that goo we don't understand. Yeah, exactly like the mystery goo. So they're going to eventually go to, say, a frog. Oh, poor frog. Or something that is amphibious, right? So let's say a dolphin. So it's going to go aquatic.

And then they go aquatic, and then they're going to get sharks and whales. Oh, fucking sick. I'm loving this already. I'm making this fanfic right now. This is the best. And so then it's just going just throughout the ecosystem. Would it be able to do something as small as a frog? Well, I don't know, because it made those little bug things.

That was the goo, so I don't know. So let's just say... But even, say... How big are the eggs? That'd be a big frog. Yeah, because that's the thing. If you think about the facehug as, like, fuck tentacle, or whatever you call it.

Yeah, yeah. The thing... It has to get down your throat. Yeah, like, it's just going to explode that frog. So it's not going to get you. So then dolphin. Yeah. In the blowhole.

I would say chicken egg side. Maybe robin egg. Yeah, for a little one. Yeah. It's kind of cute. It's so adorable. A little tiny face like that. Yeah.

So it's going through the ecosystem, right? Systematically just taking down, like, it starts at the apex, Predator, and then just works its way down. And so then that happens. Yeah.

So now we've just got a whole world full of these a Xeno world and the G's are like alright good our plan is working we did this our plan is working I like to imagine there's a guy with a whiteboard that is success

and he's like getting ready to tick success? he's like tick? move up? did we win? Yeah. It's a question mark. Underline it.

Yeah. So that happens. Yeah. Okay, so they've gone through literally everything in this world. Everything is a Xenothat. Xenodogs. Xenobaboons. Xenocats.

Xenoman. It's all there. Xenophobes. Xenophobes. They're the best. Xenophobes. Like microbes, but xenomorphs. But how small can they get?

Can they get like a chicken? I doubt it. I think they could get a chicken. Yeah, chicken's probably your max. Yeah. But you know what? You know what? The way it works is that-

Okay, the chicken alien is going to be small. Yeah. And then he will lay a smaller egg, which would take down something even smaller. So you could get down to a microscopic level oh fuck off you could have microscopic fucking Xeno then you'd have Xeno like the microbes

yeah you'd have Xeno robes or whatever yay maybe that's what they are tiny tiny tiny aliens oh like the goo like the black goo it's just a mass of these tiny like if you got a fucking microscope

it'd just be like those little like aliens falling around you'd be like not good But the goo, the black goo, is just a mass of these tiny... If you've got a fucking microscope, it'd just be those little aliens falling around. You'd be like, hmm, not good. So let's say... Make it like a flea. It's crazy. Okay, let's not include insects, because that's... There's a whole lot of questions there.

So they systematically take down every mammal. Okay. Then what? Well, in the first Alien, they go to that planet, and it's just eggs. So I'm presuming they all die alien, they go to that planet and it's just eggs. So I'm presuming they all die and they go into like a dormant state where it's just eggs left. And it just waits for whoever's next. But then how does the eggs know that?

Is it like turtles when they know when to hatch? And they're like, yes, now. Yeah, they must feel. And then like the one of them hatches and he's like, oh, there's no humans or something to eat. Does like a chirp and then like, okay, cool, we'll just stay here. Is it a temperature thing? I don't know. But they'd been there in the first alien a long time.

That's very true. Thousands of years. That's very true. So what's a half-life of an alien egg? Yeah, I know. So I'm guessing... So on that planet, does it just reach a point where they're just all like... They're all eggs.

They're all eggs just waiting. Yeah. But how does that benefit the Jizai? Are the Jizai like flamethrowers? But I think they're a mistake, right? The eggs are a mistake. The whole thing is a mistake, because they were running from that. Yeah, but in the first one that guy's just got them on his ship, and they're different

ships, so clearly at some point one of the Jizai was like, this is what we're doing from now on so I was like what he's like these aliens I'm super into them chuck them on your ships fuck off into space there are other G's I are like okay I mean

this seems inherent with problems point into like the whiteboard guys look what are you after success I suppose and you can't spell success Without a U So you need to be involved in this process Okay

Alright then I guess I'll take these alien eggs to this Planet I feel like it's a bit dangerous No no no you're fine Get in the fucking chair Do I need to do this whole success thing again Point it at the whiteboard. I point at you. I point at you.

There's a process here. Well, okay. Okay. In what scenario do you need to take out a planet? In what scenario are you like forming? Yep. Wanting minerals. There must be a better way though.

Wanting to mine a planet for its tasty minerals. I think you must hate something to be like, I hate this so much and this is the worst way to go. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I like this intergalactic war of just like, why are we fighting these guys again? Because I fucking hate them! I hate them so much. They need to get

xenomorphed. They called me a jerk! But getting back to that alien ship in the first Alien, that guy was dead. Did he carry them there or was that an accident? jerk but getting back to that alien ship in the first alien yes that one that guy was dead was he did he carry them there or was that an accident

or so he's in the pilot seat and his thing it's burst out of his chest was the plane crashed so he was dead and it was crashed yeah

so that was clearly a fuck up that was clearly that was clearly he's like he hears like a raffling around back there he's like

that's what I said I'm the pilot that's not my problem He's like, that's what I said. I'm the pilot. That's not my problem. We had this meeting. That's why I was worried. And then it comes in and he's like, yeah, okay. I'll just let it happen. What can I do? I guess this is how I die now.

But then that doesn't explain why the military thinks the human military are like, this is a great idea. More of this. More of this more of this yeah okay so we can go with that the g's i were like whoopsie daisy yeah yeah we accidentally made this yeah that's that's that's on them that's also super weird because the aliens have a super specific like life cycle that that doesn't like did that just come about pretty naturally is that how all of it works if you got that evil worm from the first one and attached to someone's head,

would then you get a worm version of that guy? I think it's only the facehugger that can do that. That's a miracle. Because there's another guy who turns into like a weird zombie man as well. But that affected him differently. And the only reason the facehugger appeared was because it impregnated, he impregnated her and then it grew in her womb yeah does that mean that the what the fuck i maybe we should just it was an accident

and now let's go back to the military okay why they wanted to do it i feel like i just derailed you just were like like pointed out the ridiculousness of the Promethean, the way that alien works. What was going on? Because there was black. Okay, so there's black goo. Yeah. That black goo makes shit evolve.

Tick. Yes. Was that worm there? That worm. Where was that worm from? Because it was in the ground. They were like little mudwormy kind of things. Yeah, because that worm. And they sp worm from? Because it was in the ground. It was in the ground. They were like little like mudwormy kind of things. Yeah, because that worm.

And they spilt some or it got in. Yeah, it got in the mud and they became giant. Oh, right. Okay, okay. I think I've got this. Okay. So that. Yes.

All right. Cool. So that black goo creates life. Okay. So at the start when the G's eye drinks the goo and then just falls into the water, then there's just like life everywhere because there's these tiny little microbes or whatever the fuck's in water,

like tiny little water things and from there life is made. Okay, and that's going to eventually do something like him, which is us. Yes, so the progression is like goo. Success. Okay, so then they have like a room full of mason jars.

Yep, good. Very fragile mason jars full of this life-creating goo that could easily get knocked over and do, and that falls on whatever is on the ground, and what's on the ground is a gross mudworm. Okay. And then that becomes double-lifed? Yeah.

Yeah? But he drank all of it, so it killed him instantly. But if you take a little bit of it, it'll mutate you. Who drank all of it? The white guy. Yeah, okay, so it mutates a worm. But if you take a fraction of it, like, because you know the guy who impregnates the main character,

he gets a little bit in his drink. The robot puts a tiny bit in, so it doesn't kill him immediately. It just mutates him. Yeah, by putting a little worm in his eye. Yes! No, no, no, but that's okay. That could be that it's fucking with like some microbe or some bacteria in his

body and making that double-lifed. Genetic level, yeah. So the worm gets double-lifed and the worm turns into this giant cobra thing and attacks a scientist, dude. Yeah. That's cool. And then...

Samit, you were so sure. And Bishop Jr., Fassbender, is like, hey, puts a drop of that, like a tiny drop in that drink. The dude drinks it and he's like all full of... He's disappointedly angry and he's full of black goo, which changes him on a genetic structure. Yes. And then he has sex with Naomi Rapuse.

Because, you know, that's what you want to do on a desert planet when you think life is just, fuck. Yeah, that's what I'd do. Why not? It's a good time. And that's like a baby success rate, 100%. Yeah. So was she ovulating?

I don't think it matters. I don't think it's terribly relevant, not with the goo. Wouldn't it be? I guess not. So like the sperm, which is now human but mixed with gross black goo, just goes up the fallopian tube, cracks that open, grabs an ovum into that. Yeah, sick.

16 hours later. 16 hours later, the gestation period is now a facehugger. Does that mean that- Okay, so if we are to assume- I'm working this out. That the black goo makes a double mutant out of anything it touches, that the original facehugger is from a fetus? Yeah.

You know what's fucking wiggity-whack about- This happened twice. That's what that means. It does. Like on two separate and unrelated occasions. Yeah. And that also means... What do you mean it happened twice?

Well, because that's not the original facehugger or the original ship. No, but that is the original facehugger. Like in Prometheus, that's the proto-facehugger. But that alien's left there and then they all leave. Yeah. So that would have had to happen again somewhere else. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Because that alien... What's it eating, Zama? So that Prometheus... What's it eating? What's it eating? Working this out! Working this out! So that accelerated double-lifed fetus is a facehugger, a proto-giant facehugger.

Uh-huh. Facehugger's a Jizai. Yep. Because from their DNA, when they mix with the black goo that creates life. That created what we then would call a proto-alien. Sick. A proto-xenomorph. And then when that xenomorph lays an egg

and then out hatches... No, but what's it eating to lay the egg? They all left. So it has to have happened twice. Unless they come back. Well, unless that alien got on a plane and chuffed off. Because that's not even the same planet as the movie Alien. Okay, so two scenarios.

Either it happened twice, ridiculous, or the aliens in the original Alien... Yeah. It's not... Basically, they are descendants of whatever happened in Prometheus. Which makes them kind of human, which is super fucking weird to think about. If that's the case and it didn't happen twice.

And even if it did happen twice, they're still kind of human. Then again, that could have happened twice to gorillas or a space gorilla. Yeah. Because they're not the same type of alien. No, that's true. Yeah, that's true. So, you know, male gorilla could have been like, ooh, that goop. Look at her. She's pretty nice.

Walking over to her. Alien baby. Alien baby. I like that this assumes the existence of space gorillas. Not enough arguments do. If we know anything about this, we know that we can confirm. Aliens. Space gorillas. 100%.

So now that that nonsense aside, because I've confused everyone, or at least myself. I think I'm more clear now. I think I'm clear. I mean, yeah. Okay, good. I mean, either, again.

Until the next movie comes out, Prometheus 2, and we're like, goddammit. What the fuck? And where do predators fit into it all? We gotta get to that. Oh, it's gonna be annoying. Okay. So, Jizai are swept aside. Sick.

We've sorted the Jizai problem. Alright. Success tick. Success tick. Glad we had the whiteboard. Military. Human military. Yeah. Why Glad we had the whiteboard. Military. Human military. Yeah.

Why would you ever think it was a good idea? Yeah. And who the fuck are we going to use it on? So Paul Reiser, spurned from divorcing Helen Hunt? Correct. I couldn't tell you. From Mad About You. Yes.

Is like, I want to destroy Earth. Yep. Yeah? Is that what happened? You wouldn't, because for the military, you wouldn't drop it in a town no because it would just go like it would just grow it'd have to be specific planets you'd have to hit you have to want that whole planet gone but why would you ever want a whole planet gone hey precious minerals yeah precious mineral doesn't work no because then you're like sick oh wait

fuck but how long do you wait till they all die off? That was my question. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Because, like, clearly the first... But I don't think they die off. In Aliens, they go to that planet, and clearly those eggs have been crawling, and the walls are crawling with aliens for so long.

Yeah. Like, how long do they live? What's their life cycle? Exactly, so you're not getting no precious minerals as well. Unless, I mean, the humans have androids. Or you're setting your minerals for generations into the future. The humans have androids, though. So you could, like, a predator, or not a predator,

an alien's not going to attack an android. They do, but they can't impregnate them. They're like, ugh. Well, the android doesn't care. No. The android's like, nah, get it off me. Yeah, Bishop cuts one in Aliens, the android doesn't care. No. The android's like, nah, get it off me. Yeah, Bishop cuts one in Aliens, but nothing happens.

Yeah. So I guess... They're more of a hassle, like nah. Like if you were super desperate for the minerals on the planet, you could alienate, I mean xenomorph it, send down androids. Yeah. But like, why not just mine it? But androids are cunts. Yeah. They're like, let's just put this black

goo in that drink and make that guy drink it. For funsies. There's one good one, Bishop. Yeah. They're like, let's just put this black goo in that drink and make that guy drink it. For funsies. There's one good one, Bishop, but everyone else, yeah. Everyone else, dick. So, that's not really much of a help. Hate makes sense. If you were like, not only fuck this guy, but

fuck his family, his extended family, his species, his homeworld, his species, his home world. Everything that he knows and loves. And his moon. Yeah. All right. Xenomorph, he's planted in the moon.

Yeah. Apart from that. Apart from that, I can't see. I mean, I guess. Alien, can Xenomorphs breathe in the vacuum of space? I think they might be able to. In Alien, isn't there one? I know in Resurrection, one gets sucked out of space. I think they might be able to. In Alien, doesn't... I know in Resurrection, one gets sucked out of the tiny little hole.

Doesn't the Queen Alien attach to the outside of that ship when they go into space? Yeah, I think it does. And then, yeah. So they don't need to breathe. I don't know for how long. The Queen, what's the Queen? That's just the way that a bee, one becomes the Queen.

So they feed them space jelly so they feed them space jelly. They feed them space jelly. Sick. Exactly. I feel like maybe the military kind of want to tamper with them to weaponize them. I think that's so they could more kind of do localized attacks. But mustard gas would be much more efficient. Definitely.

I get maybe like they're like, oh, we don't want this technology to fall in any other hands. Then just wipe some more out. The Ruskies taking the Xenomorphs. Like I feel rather than develop something, just destroy every last, because if you destroy every last egg, they're gone. You're sorted. Space is big. So any other ones.

Boy, is it. Rife with gorillas. And the arrives of these gorillas and these Jizai carrying these eggs, because I don't know why, but they've been told that. How many other planets has that happened on? Yeah. So many. If space is infinite, then an infinite number.

An infinite number of planets are full of xenomorphs. So basically how Magneto was a Nazi hunter, you'd have this one kind of mission where you'd have this group of people who were like xenomorph hunters. Just go and squish the eggs. Yeah. Squish the eggs. Squish the eggs before they hatch.

Yeah. But you can't even keep two xenomorph hunters. Just go and squish the eggs. Yeah. Squish the eggs. Squish the eggs before they hatch. Yeah. But you can't even keep two xenomorphs together. Do you remember in Alien 4 where they kept three in a cage together and two of them killed one, which melted the floor, which means they're escaped. Like, you cannot keep them. You should not have them at all. Yeah.

I was going to say, that was less about them sharing a space and more about them just getting out of a space. Oh, yeah, that was, yeah, exactly. But, yeah, you can't let them share it because they'll do that. Because they're smart enough to be like, our acid is blood. Yeah. And their acid is blood. And their acid is blood.

In Alien vs. Predator. Yes. It's all cannons. Wait, Requiem or? Just the original one. Which piece of shit are we talking about right now? Isn't there a pyramid? Yes.

On Earth full of aliens? Yeah, well, one queen. One queen. That the Predators use for training. So the Predators have been using Earth as a training ground. Yes. How did the Predators get an alien? Is that ever explained?

No, but I feel like they've got the best handle on it. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like if we need to give it up to anyone, we give it up to the Predators. Because the Predators seem like they're... They seem like reasonable guys. They do. They've got a clear set of rules.

Yes. They're not great rules, but at least they live by them. Yeah, and you can kind of reason with them. Yeah, if you don't, if you go in hands up, they're not going to kill you. No. They'll be like... Or whatever the Predator noise is. And just pat you and send you on your way. Exactly.

So, you know, do they fit somehow? So basically, I guess either they formed trade with the Jizai or they took over the, like, annihilated the Jizai and then found some eggs and are like, what are these? And then someone got aliened. We can use this. And they're like, well, all right, this is interesting. Predator's mouth, super easy to face hug.

Like it's pretty much designed to be face hugged. It's the easiest. The way it's like, what? So I'm guessing what's happened is they not only militarized them in a way, but they're now using them as training and that kind of stuff. It's a rite of passage. The only reason they didn't work out for them is because the humans got there first and took the predator weapons.

And that's the only reason the predators were being killed. Oh, okay. So they had a handle on that. They're not using them to destroy planets. They're just using them for themselves. Which is fine. That's okay. It's like owning a gun.

Be responsible. Yeah, exactly. Look, there are people out there that aren't responsible, exactly. Like, look, there are people out there that aren't responsible with the firearm. I am. There are people out there that will use a xenomorph for wrong. And I know, you know, 95% of xenomorph deaths happen in the home.

That's true. That's very true. You're more likely to kill yourself with a xenomorph than you are with someone else. A xenomorph is not a toy. Train your kids responsibly on Xenomorphs. Yeah. What's Requiem about?

Requiem follows on straight from that, where the Predator dies at the end, and they take him up in the ship, and they're like, good Predator-ing your Ted, which is, I think, still a win for them. I don't know how Predators are like. But it's got an egg in it, and then the Predator alien bursts out,

attacks the ship, crashes into a small town. So they didn't have a handle on it. No, but that wasn't their fault, though, to their credit. They didn't kick off that scenario. No. And they sort it out in the end, don't they? Yeah, they nuke the town. Or the military does or something.

Sort it out. So we've got to use other weapons to destroy this weapon. That's a sign of destroy this weapon. Yeah. That's a sign of a bad weapon. Yeah. Super retarded that it is canon that that happened. Yeah. But then Prometheus is set now future when surely they remember that.

Yeah, I guess so. She's like, yeah, I kind of think it might have something to do. Yeah. Before that TED talk, wasn't there this weird explosion like 20 years ago? Yeah. At the end of one of the Alien vs Predators, the Weyland Corporation get a Predator gun. Okay. And I think that kicks off a bunch of stuff. Sorry, that doesn't help.

But that's something that happens. It's adding to the melting pot trying to figure out what the hell is going on we've got to remember that alien 3 and 4 will probably no longer count because they're redoing yeah he's doing his bloody alien movie well we'll see how blonk conf treats it see if he comes up with any bloody solutions yeah he's just like writing success on a board and just waiting to take it off. I think I got this. Yes. Do I? And how do Mogwai fit into it?

I don't know. I believe personally that Mogwai fit into that trilogy. That makes sense. They act in a similar way. In the old Mogwai episode, we bring it up. They've got a similar process to the aliens, you know. They're gross eggs and then out pops another thing. Then if they get wet, which they probably will, they attack everyone, you know, like the gremlins do. So how does that fit in?

How is that part of it? Maybe they were like the other... Basically convergent evolution, whatever that is called. So one's a space gorilla, and the other's like a space little monkey. Yeah. Like a space bush baby or whatever. Yeah, a little possum. Yeah. A space possum. Like a little bush baby or whatever. Yeah, a little possum.

A space possum. Like little space possums. That makes a lot of sense, though, that they stem from the same thing. Yeah, I know. And it's like a smaller version of an alien. Because the eggs open the same way. Yeah, it's the same thing. Those space possums must have a great sense of humour, though.

Because even the bad gremlins are kind have like a great sense of humour though because even the bad gremlins are kind of like I'm smoking a cigar like those gremlins pick up human all everything super quick

yeah they do they're smart and intelligent they're smart and intelligent just like how Xenomorph is smart and intelligent to know it's a killer buddy acid problem solvers

very good at it yeah both of them are is this how you do it you drop down a predator. I mean, a xenomorph. Yes. Or a predator.

Or a predator. Maybe like, if everything goes south, you drop a predator. You call a predator up and you're like, yeah, we fucked it. Get in there. Help again. So you drop down a xenomorph. It xenomorphs the planet. Yep.

Or you drop down one xenomorph and like five mogwai. Yep. Yep. Those mogwai become gremlins and then they like rein in the xenomorph okay like they're like they're like your ground force yeah and the xenomorphs are the weapon uh-huh they go into a town they get the xenomorph to kill everyone in the town then the gremlins ice the xenomorphs and all of the new little gremlin guns they kill the old xenomorph and the babies it's made and then they're like, yeah, sick, you got it.

They go back up to the spaceship like we got the town. Because I like xenomorphs. Is that a solution? Well, I like the Mogwai gremlins as a weapon because they have an inbuilt kill switch,

which is sunlight. True, yeah. So you use sunlight, they die. And blenders. And blenders and microwaves. All these things, solid to kill a Mogwai slash gremlin. But Xenomorphs don't have a kill switch.

No, and that's the inherent problem with Xenomorphs. And that's the problem with Xenomorphs. There's no kill switch. Even when you shoot one, you get an acid everywhere. Yeah, exactly. Do the facehuggers also have acid? I think they do, because when they go to cut it off... Yeah, yeah, yeah, beat the acid, yeah.

Because even androids sending a minion in the facehuggers, they're like, this is a hassle, pull it off. Oh my god. And the acid is all on an android And now the android's Got his face melted and gross But that's how I'd sort it out I'd have androids that had in their throat Something that could maybe electrocute

That facehugger when it facehugged them Kill the facehugger That's not a solution to any question Whatsoever, but that's a solution to If a planet gets animal It's not the solution we want, but that's a solution to if a planet gets Xenomorph. Absolutely. It's not the solution we want, but it is a solution. And I think it's probably what we're

going to have to take away from this. I guess. Until Blomkamp sorts something out, or they make Prometheus 2. Yeah. So the original question when I was it is, are they a good weapon? No. No. They are a dangerous weapon. Don't use them. Yeah. Be responsible. Be weapon. Don't use them. Yeah.

Be responsible. Be responsible with your Xenomorph. Lock up your Xenomorph and or Mogwai. Yeah. And teach good Xenomorph handling to your children. Exactly. Take them down to the Xenomorph reign. Yeah. They are not a toy.

They are a weapon that you need to respect. Exactly. And on that note, I've been Jackson. I've been Joel. I've been James. Thanks for listening. I guess. If you have a solution.

Help? Help. Because. What would you use them for? Yeah. If you had to. If you had to. Apart from hatred.

What would you use a xenomorph for? Because I got nothing except for hatred. At the end of the day, it feels like we're missing one key component to this whole mystery. It's like step one, xenomorph. Do you guys ever come back to a topic? Yeah, it happens. So we might come back here. Yeah.

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