Plumbing the Death Star - Could You Handle the Pressures Put on You by Your Father After He Took You to See the Black Parade ala Welcome to the Black Parade?

Episode Date: September 25, 2022

This week on Plumbing the Death Star join Joel, Jackson and Joel as they try to figure out if they could handle the pressures put on them by their father after he took them to see the Black Parade ala Welcome to the Black Parade?. The episode takes twists and turns (none of which actually answer the question) though pop culture, from a rousing speech for a young Batman from prophetic Thomas Wayne to Jor-El rediscovering the joys of making love to his wife to the disgust of the scientific community.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joe. And this is the podcast where we ask the important questions like, could you handle the pressures put on you by your father after he took you to see the Black Parade,

a la Welcome to the Black Parade? When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city. To see a marching band. So I guess we fucked up because I said see the Black Parade, I was desperate to say that since we took this office. Took me into the city. City. To see a marching band. They are marching bands. So I guess we fucked up because I said see a black parade, but I meant see a marching band. Well, it's the marching band, not the black parade. Well, we'll get to that in a second. Because pretty much the thing that's going to stick out to you is actually the next line.

So our father takes us into the city to see a marching band. That's nice of him having a day in the city. He says, son son when you grow up You be the saviour of the broken The beaten and the damned He said will you defeat them Your demons And all the new unbelievers

And the plans that they have made. Does mom know I'm here with you? Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom to lead you in the summer to join the Black Parade. So no, this isn't the Black Parade we're seeing. You're going to lead the Black Parade. Wait, is the Black Parade death, dad?

Are you leaving? I'm leaving you a phantom. I'm not leaving you. I'm going to give you a phantom. You're going to leave me a phantom? You're going to get you a phantom. You're going to leave me a phantom? Dad, you're going to get left a phantom in your dad's will. Open up the box. Anyway, so that's the most intense thing a father could say to his son. You just said one day you're going to leave me.

Son, when you grow up. Hey, when you grow up. How old am I? Hey, quick question. Hey, Timmy. Hey, I'm buddy. Hey, Timmy. Are you enjoying the marching band?

I just got a quick question for you. When you grow up, Timmy. Yeah. Yeah, Dad, what's up? Would you be the savior of the beaten, the broken, and the damned? Okay, let's get it. Dad. Yes.

First off. Subsequent question. Would you defeat them? Why? Dad, you asked me to lead them and now you want me to beat them? No, no, no. Would you defeat them? Your demons?

My demons. And all of the non-believers. Non-believers of who? Yeah. And the plans that those non-believers have made? Okay. Wait, Dad. Because one day I will leave you a phantom. What do you mean by that?

In your will? And that phantom's going to lead you to the summer to join the Black Parade. So what's the, Dad? I have several questions. First off, have you been drinking again? Yeah. Secondly, what's – hang on. Why is dad –

Okay, so we've got to figure this out. Well, if the question is could I survive the pressures, no. No. I think if I was told I need to – I'm panic attack. I run into the marching band. I get trampled by a guy with a big drum. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get sucked off into a tuba. You know, it's not good. You trample to death Joel Zabnitz's bare ass somehow hanging out of a tuba. Why do your hands fall down? You threw the tuba in such a way that you're kissing the guy. Bare ass out of tuba. My lips down the blowpipe thing. He goes to play a note.

He kisses you in the mouth. And then you do a big fart. I'm a 10-year-old boy. You're going to jail. Yours was so whimsical. I just got trampled. I'm leading the parade. I wasn't listening to Dad. Yeah, you're separate.

You've run away. You're like, yeah, sick, Dad. Look at those fucking drums. Dad, I've got to lead this parade. Dad, I love marching. So this is a tricky one because unlike any other songs we've picked, this is like bang in the middle of a concept album. Well, okay.

Let's try and figure out what the fuck dad's talking about. Because the song immediately after this does change gear. It seems like it may jump forward in time. There's also a lot of lyrics. There is heaps of lyrics. Okay. So first of all, I'm thinking, does dad think the world's ending? Yeah.

And does he see me as a sort of Christ figure? Or is dad dying? Yeah. And dad thinks the world's a pretty rotten place. Yeah. And dad's like, son. Dad's dying from crime? Ghost?

Dying from crime? What do you mean by dying from crime? Ghosts? Dying from crime? What do you mean by dying from crime? Does he need to commit more? So do you see how many murders there are in the fucking weekly news? It's making daddy sick. Potentially daddy is the type of guy to go to an Italian restaurant and don't stop

believing and starts playing. Oh, that kind of crime. Oh my god, my crime levels are so low oh take me to a supermarket daddy i need to steal something real quick come on okay so he's not dying of crime it's just that eventually he will be dead and it will be a murder yeah maybe okay because yeah like that makes sense. Or, hear me out. I'm listening. What if it's kind of like a fucking Commissioner Gordon situation?

Okay. Go on. And... This is about the Batman. Yeah. Maybe he's talking to the Batman. Maybe Thomas is talking to Bruce. Okay, let's look more from that angle.

Okay, so when you grow up, will you be... So a Batman or like a philanthropic kind of father figure No, I think it's going to be, let's examine. It's Arthur Wayne. That's not his name. Thomas Wayne. It's Arthur Curry. It's Thomas Wayne talking to young Bruce Wayne.

Because Thomas Wayne, he was trying to fix Gotham. Yeah. And Gotham was fucked. And he says. Like big time. More fucked than, like if Gotham was a person, it was a gate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. A leaky one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah a gate. Yeah, that's true. A leaky one.

So maybe Thomas Wayne, he knows he's going to get shot in the alley because of a bad dream or something. And he says, I'm going to die soon. So when you grow up, you're going to have to look after the city. The savior of the broken, the beaten, the damned. That's the Gothamites. The Gothamites. Will you defeat them

yeah all the demons the bat demon no no no cause you gotta remember cause it's the song it's like will you defeat your demons is what he's saying

yeah and all the people who don't who non-believers cause Gotham's full of fucking sacks of shit and those plans that the sacks of shit

have made yeah yeah yeah so so far because one day I'll leave you a phantom no to lead you in the summer Alfred yeah you know you in the summer,

Alfred. You know, you're the ghostly housekeeper that roams Wayne Manor. He is a bit of a ghoul. Yeah, he's phantom. I'll leave you a phantom phantom. I'm thinking phantom zone. I'm thinking Superman.

Fucked up memory. Maybe it's just like, oh yeah, it's a weird way. He's like, I'll leave you a phantom in that I'll be gone as in like I will be dead

but my memory will live on and then Batman is like nothing like spurs him on than the memory of his dead mum and dad yeah he's saying like I'll leave you a phantom

isn't this poem bad well next to the next part sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me and other times I feel like I should go where? where you going?

Metropolis much better and through it all the rise and fall the bodies in the streets and when you're gone we want you all to know we'll carry on we'll carry on believe me your memory will carry on and everything that Batman does is basically in the memory of his dead parents

yeah exactly alright that's one way of looking at it in his heart in my heart I can't contain it. The anthem won't explain it. Does Gotham have a national anthem? I mean, Batman does. What's Batman's? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, explain shit. You know he's hot because I do it.

That's bad for a hot dude. Yeah. Well, because Spider-Man's anthem explains what's going on. Spider-Man, he does whatever a spider can. Swing some web. Shoot some flies. Shoot some flies. Save the day before he dies.

Spider-Man, look out. There's the Spider-Man. Get him, boys. Look out. But yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Batman, which I assume the song is called, elaborates in no way on the nature of Batman. It's more about, like, you know,

it's accompanied by visuals of him biffing and pouting. That's true. Criminals. Yeah, so it does get even more Batman. Maybe I've just knocked it out of the park immediately. Gerard Way loves comic books. He sure does. Gerard, you might listen to this podcast.

He probably does. He actually definitely does. Big fan. Big. Yeah, we love all of your stuff too, Gerard. Gerard plumbing the Death Star way. We love all of your stuff. We love Umbrella Academy.

We love the fact that you invented Danny the Street. Yes! We're big Danny the Street-ers here. If anyone knows Gerard Way, let him know. We love him. Yeah, we love him and Danny the Street. I love most of the MyChem albums. Don't ask too many questions.

I know this song. Not that well as I didn't realize there was this many lyrics, but I know all of it. It's because it repeats itself. And that last verse is over a different... Anyway. Anyway, so a world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams could refer to his papas. Your misery and hate will kill us all.

Yeah, exactly. Joker? Maybe. There's a bit of a Joker clue coming. So paint it black and take it back. Wayne Enterprises and that car. And Batman himself. Batman.

And his eyes. He paints his eyes black. Let's shout it loud and clear. Defiant to the end. Well, that could be referencing to the bat signal. That's true. It's a shouting but for your eyes. Let's shout it loud and clear.

I've missed people in the street are like, Batman. Imagine if the bat signal, instead of sending out the bat symbol, just yelled Batman. Batman! Batman! Batman! Batman!

He's like, oh, I gotta go. The bat yell. Commissioner Gordon should be turned on. Should be turned on. Should be turned on like, yes. Batman! Batman, look out, there's crime in the city! Batman, shit's fucked!

Hurry up, man! I'm freaking out! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Batman Hey the bat yell is I don't think we should be doing crime tonight And what is Again Loud and clear

Except No no no no no no no no no Batman Exactly That's pretty loud and pretty clear Even though I slurred Most of those No no no no no no

No no no no no no Batman That was like four N's and 17 A's. A couple of those N's were next to each other. It was a mess. Defiant till the end, we hear the call. Maybe it's changed because it plays around we a little bit. So maybe it's bat family.

Yeah, Commissioner Gordon calling up the bat phone. Getting Batman and his family on the blower being like, well, defined to the end. That's all of them. Absolutely. On and on. We carry through the fears. Oh,

ah, ah, sorry. Like a Joker. Well, the laugh is like the Joker fears. It's like the scarecrow. Oh,

ah, ah, Batman. Are you scared of bats, Batman? Cause I've put the, my scarecrow gas. Yeah, scarecrow. No, I'm not the Joker.

I'm scarecrow. Okay, what are you doing, scarecrow? Are you scared of bats? I was, but now not really. I had like, I guess, what's it called? Aversion therapy where you expose yourself to it over and over again. To the point where I became a Batman. That's still a bit scary though, yes?

Immersion therapy? Who's that down in the tunnel with you? What about my Bat family? This is a Robin. What's up? Do I mean immersion or aversion? What's the hate? I gotta talk to a goon.

Yeah. If I put the scarecrow gas in there, but they're not scared of bats, when the bat cloud, when I release the bats, are they still going to be scared? Not really. Probably not, boss. What's the therapy where, like, if you're exposed to it? That's aversion therapy. I know that because I was a psychologist once.

Anyway, I'm going to see what happens. Come back. Release the bats. Oh, wait, no. Gas them bats, not bats, then gas. Gas the bats. The bats are freaking out. What are bats afraid of?

The sun? Predatory birds. Oh, no. The bats fly out of the cave and attack Scarecrow. Oh, no! The bats fly out of the cave and attack Scarecrow. Wait, did you make the fear gas afraid of, like, is it what we're afraid of? The fear gas afraid. Or did you make it just bats in general? You're asking a lot about bats.

The fear gas was going to release in the tunnel, and then the bats, and it would make you even more scared of the bats. They'd look really big, but then you're not scared of the bats, and I did it in the wrong order. But bats would make you even more scared of the bats. They'd look really big but then you're not scared of the bats. And I did it in the wrong order. So now the bats are scared of predatory birds in the sun. Hey! I'm Robin! It's your time to shine! Robin kills a bunch of bats.

Gah! Okay. I'm gonna chalk this one up to a... This was a failure. Yeah, see you next week, Dr. Craig. Back to the scarecrow cave! Alright, well, yeah, cool. this went up to a this was a failure yeah see you next week Dr. Craig back to the scarecrow case alright well yeah cool disappointed faces of your peers

aha Superman come on sure exactly the board Superman and the board first off Justice League

fucking hate Batman sometimes stop trying to figure out how to kill us Batman yeah I'm sick of this the board hate Bruce Wayne with his bullshitting

around and Superman and the rest of the jail. They're like, we're sick of your bullshitting methods. Yeah, exactly. Take a look at me, because I could not care at all. Batman is a loofah. He's a loofah, absolutely. Batman would be like, Superman, I don't give a shit.

Yeah. What? Fuck. I don't give a shit. Yeah. What? Fuck. I don't give a fucking damn. Language. First off, Bruce. Bruce, this is a no swearing headquarters. Fuck you. Oh my God.

Fuck you and your rules. Oh my goodness. I'm the goddamn Batman. Good golly, Miss Marley. Oh my God. I've never heard such a foul-mouthed beast enter our lair. Wonder Woman's like, you've made Superman faint. Superman's weak to swearing.

Wonder Woman just like fanning Superman. Oh, my. Oh, my. It's me. I've got a case of the vapors. Oh, boy. Oh, man. You made Superman faint and he donked his head.

I had a horrible dream. Batman was running his mouth with such horrible language. I'm the shit goddamn. Oh, my God. It wasn't a dream. It was real. Stop swearing. You're making him sick.

I'm the mother pissing Batman. Superman does a little vomit in the JLA floor. Batman banned for life. Okay. Do or die, you'll never make me. Because the world will never take my heart. Still Batman-y. Yeah, yeah.

Go and try. You'll never break me. We want it all. We want to play this spot. Gotham tries to break the Batman. Bane also does it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both of them.

Both of them. Batman from Gotham. You know, Bot Man Both of them. Both of them. You know, Batman from Batham. You know, Botman from Batham. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I do. I know comic books. People looking at the runtime of this episode being like, well, they really lost it very quickly.

I took a little episode of Plumbing the Nest. I was like 30 to 40 minutes of it. Just shy of 15. I listen to a lot of Plumbing the Nest, sir, and I can tell a late in the day episode when I hear one. They must have recorded this one after kicking each other in the head. They did it in Little Isosceles Lock where they kicked each other in the head. Sat down and started recording. All right, boys.

One, three, two. Jesus Christ. What up, boys? Welcome to this episode of Plumbing the Nuts. I won't explain or say I'm sorry. Yeah, that's very Batman. Batman often doesn't talk to his family. Yeah, that's true.

He doesn't give reasons why he's doing things. He's like, he's shutting himself off. I'm unashamed. I'm going to show my scars. I think this is Joker joining in. I'm unashamed, Batman. I'm going to show my scars. Give a cheer for all the broken.

Listen here, because it's who we are. I don't know why my joke sounds like that, but he does. Just a man. I'm not a hero. Oh, Joker's doing this. No, it's like all in response sort of thing. You do the Batman part. I'll do the Batman part.

You do the Joker part. Just a man. I'm not a hero. Just a boy. We're going to the Joker parts. Just a man. I'm not a hero! Just a boy. We're gonna sing this song! Just a man. I lost where I was up to. I'm not a hero!

I don't care. Okay, another conversation between Batman and the Joker. And then I think he just repeats. Or alternatively. Yeah. Switch it. Okay. You're just a man, Batman then I think he just repeats. Or alternatively. Yeah. Switch it. Okay. You're just a man, Batman.

I'm not a hero. You're just a boy. Who had to sing this song. Just a man. I'm not a hero. I don't care, Batman. Then, pfft, show up with the bang gun. Yeah.

The bang gun. Yeah, the bang gun. The guy that shoots a bang. The bang. And then in, uh... Injustice. Yeah, but the other one. The guy that shoots a bang. The bang. And then in... Injustice. Yeah, but the other one. The more fucked up one.

The DC versus Mortal Kombat. Oh, yeah. You shoot with the bang gun and it comes out bang. And then Joker's like, ha, ha, ha. And then he shoots again and the flag shoots the guy in the head. That's sick as hell. It is sick as hell. Well, okay.

I think it's pretty categorically Batman. Like, it works. I don't okay. I think it's pretty categorically Batman. Like, it works very well. Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart. Don't try, you'll never break me. We want it all. We want to play this part. Do or die. Yeah.

It's nice that, well, it is Batman if we fall hard to believe that Thomas Wayne was prophetic. That Thomas Wayne had some kind of prophetic dream. Thomas Wayne being like Look, I know me and Martha need to die Yeah, we're gonna get shot in Crime Alley We're gonna go see a beautiful opera called Zorro And halfway through you're gonna get scared And that's fine

And that's okay And we're gonna go out to Crime Alley We're gonna get shot to shit Maybe we've approached this because we got thrown off by the black of the black parade What if this is a recording by a man whose planets exploded? A superman. Oh, my God. Son of Jor-El.

Kneel before Zod. Jor-El. Okay. Son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned? Will you defeat them? Your demons? I'm Rusty Crow. I had sex with my wife, something that has not been done.

I'm Rusty Crow. I had sex with my wife. I'm has not been done by many, many, many... I had sex with my wife. I'm Russell Crowe and I invented fucking. I know, I rediscovered fucking. I rediscovered coming in my wife. Babe, I've been thinking about your pussy. I've been thinking about...

How did that go? Babe, I've been thinking about your pussy, I've been thinking about my dick. I've been thinking about raw dogging. This is a really crazy idea. Imagine just the Kryptonian equivalent of like a TED talk. Jor-El comes up. Ladies and gentlemen of the scientific community, I've been thinking that why we have penis,

why we have pussy. If you look at pussy and you see penis. Jor-El presents the two Ps. Why we have penis. Why we have penis? Why we have penis? If you look like a simple lock-in key mechanism, one will go into the chorus of boo. What are you talking about?

This is crazy. Heretic, kill him. They're just for pissing. They're just for pissing. I like the two P's Paul meets Paul Jor-El What about an R's

Jor-El Jor-El What about an R's His eyes just go wide I haven't considered the R's But you raise so many Important questions That's very interesting

I guess we all have an odds Yeah I think your idea falls apart On the screen Back to I guess that machine That we put our dick in Back to the dick machine Back to getting milked Back to getting milked by that machine

I really like the milking I I don't want to change. I love my comic book romance. I'm so glad Plumbing the Death Star are finally talking about them. No. I've sent this podcast to my good friend Gerard Way after Plumbing the Death Star asked me to at the start of the episode. They asked me to really early on. There's no way that it could go wrong for me. You know, he's a comic book author, and his band, obviously, very successful,

but they haven't been a band for seven or eight years. They've only just reformed. And he loves comic books. He's a big comic book guy. He wrote the own books. Yeah, Doom Patrol was a lot of Gerard Way. So he was probably within reach. Yeah, once.

Over the last 20 minutes. He's going from within reach to... Oh, the episode's been going for 20 minutes. It's going from within reach. The last 20 minutes. Oh, the episode's been going for 20 minutes. Interesting. Oh, what's that about? Just Jared Way, just like getting his headphones, just taking them off, laying them down. One of the other band members being like, hey, why are you crying?

Are you writing a new song? No. I don't think I'm ever going to write again. I think there's three men in Australia I need to kill. Hey guys,

maybe comic books were a mistake. Yeah, I think cancel the next season of Umbrella Academy. I'm really upset about it.

And also, our Australian tour, done. Yeah. That's been it. Fake country, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's fake, why is it so hurtful?

Alright, let's explore it. Let's explore it as inventor of the fuck. You're all talking to his voice. He was more like an archaeologist, a screen discovery. All right, you're right, you're right. Cracked open a fossil and was like, oh, my God. Holy macaroni. They died pelvis to pelvis. Why?

It's not just for pissing. Wait a second. If there was a... Oh, my God, I pelvis to pelvis. Why? It's not just for pissing. Wait a second. If there was a... Oh, my God. I need to go home to my wife's pussy. Hey, hon, you know how I've been thinking about your pussy recently? Yeah. Uh-huh.

Wow. Can I just try something? Let's try something. It's a bit crazy. That's how Superman was born. Babe, can I just try something? I don't know if this is going to work or whatever. Ross and Corrin just...

Well, Corrin... Wait, Jor-El? Yeah, Jor-El. Jor-El just run into the street. Turn off the dick machine! Stop getting milk! Everybody, stop getting milk! It's not just for pissing!

It's not just for pissing! It's only for pissing, Lee. Ignore the arse, Heretic! He's thrown us off! But what of the arse, Jor-El? What of the arse? I think you could put your cock in that too. Heresy.

Heresy. Heresy. That's what explodes Krypton. The concept you can fuck arses. There's somewhat like another group. But sir, what about mouth? Oh my. That's good too.

This goes all the way to the top of the human body. I mean, Kryptonian body. But what about mouth and pussy? I have to say, oh my God, hold on. Jor-El was a pioneer. Sorry, Jor-El. Sorry, Jor-El. How bad?

You write really good songs most of the time yeah so hey do you want to support Plumbing the Death Star but every time you look at Santapants Plus

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When I was a young boy I really like you invented Danny the Street. Yeah, that's awesome. Danny the Street did a cum in something, I think. I think that was in Doom Patrol. The TV show or the book? The TV show, I think, but maybe in the book too.

I know in the book, in the comic, Danny the Street's got a Carnival in his ambulance Yeah I love Danny the Danny the ambulance Is my favourite version Of Danny the street Me too

So when he was a young boy So are we talking Is this from Jor-El's perspective Or is this from Park Ham's perspective Oh true Because Jor-El When I was a young boy

Well Yeah Well Park Ham I can't mean Well Jor-El was dead Yeah yeah yeah Well yeah, yeah. Well and truly dead. Oh, hang on.

I forgot it starts with when I was. Yeah. No, but if it's Superman, he's like kind of, maybe he's remembering... Superman's in the Fortress of Solitude

having a thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and his dad is like, I'm a hologram. It's me, your dad, the hologram. I'm a hologram. Or potentially,

if you have to describe a hologram in a fucked up way, you could say a phantom. Oh, yes. All right. Well, okay. Okay, so what if I just to describe a hologram in a fucked up way, you could say a phantom. All right. Well, okay. Okay, so what if I just throw it? Fortress of Solitude.

When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city of Krypton to see a marching band. Yeah. That's nice. Son, when you grow up, will you be the savior of the broken and beaten and the damned? Because I'm a scientist and I fight for good I'll leave you I'm sorry I'm sorry to cut it off so quickly

I really do think it just doesn't fit because I really do think it fits Park Kent but the Kevin Costner Park Kent who's fucking insane yes

like it's just legitimately honestly baby Clark Kent is taken to just a parade that's in come through Smallville

or whatever Yeah yeah yeah yeah He's like oh hey Son when you grow up Can you imagine The Kevin Costner Park Kent Son when you grow up Would you be the savior of the broken

What Son when you grow up Would you be the savior of the broken The beaten and the damned What Will you defeat them Your demons And all the non-believers

I think if Park Kent says something about non-believers. I think if Park Hanson says something about non-believers, I think I'm killing atheists. Yeah. Because one day I'll leave you a phantom in a tornado. Sorry. Because one day I'll leave you a phantom. He kind of maybe knows about the baby machine where he presses a button and he's like, oh, there's your dad.

Oh, yeah, that's true. I'll leave you a phantom of your dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of your birth dad. To lead you a holiday Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'll leave you a birthday To lead you into the summer The sun Yes That's where Superman gets

To join the black parade Where Superman's black Superman wear black suit Cause Superman die Okay I'll lead you into the summer Where you'll fucking die But then you ain't come back

You ain't come back Yeah, yeah, yeah Fuck To join the black parade Is anyone ever In the history of anything ever called the JLA the Black Parade? No. No? No.

You could probably get away with the Bat Family as the Black Parade. Yeah, but that's kind of... Okay, if I'm Parkhant, very religious, think my son is maybe a little satan or a little angel sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me and other times I feel like I should go back to space mom's in space

sometimes I feel like Krypton mom's watching me sometimes I feel like I should go back into space through it all the rise and fall the bodies in the streets I fucked up when you're gone, we all want... Could she be like his mother, like Marquette? Yeah. Because you don't have to be dead to be watching over, because he's always like, well, I carry

Kansas. That's true. Kansas? Kansas, yeah, yeah. I carry Kansas around with me, and I'll often do the things that I do, because I often think that my mom is watching me. Yeah. Or my mom is watching over me on the news.

Yeah, that's true. Mark Kent is watching me while I fly around and punch Brady. And while the bodies are in the streets. Like what happens when he fights Zod. That's true. Bodies hit the floor and the buildings. Let's not open up that. We'll carry on.

And in my heart, I can't contain it. The anthem won't explain it. What's not open up that. We'll carry on and in my heart I can't contain it. The anthem won't explain it. What's Superman's song? Superman. No, it was Indiana Jones. Like Superman, Superman does whatever. What is the Superman theme? Because that and Indiana Jones

turn into the same song on my head, but then the song turns into a Indiana Jones song. Da-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na. That's not what it is. Da-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na. That's not what it was. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-na-na-na. That is how it starts.

Da-na-na-na-na. Is there any Superman song lyrics? I only get the five for fighting song. I can't stand to fly. I'm not Superman Superman Superman

I don't think he's got a theme song Did Smallville have one? Yeah That was a Remy Zero Silly Red Sheet What's the name of that song? The Smallville theme song.

You want to be all over that song. Remy Zero is the name of the artist. Smallville song. It's the Save Me? Save Me. Yeah, Save Me. Somebody save me. Yeah.

You really went for it there, Jackson. I really nailed it. I think me and the scaperrow earlier wrecked my voice. Yeah, I'm sure it was that. I feel my wings have broken in your hands. I feel the words have spoken inside. But that anthem does sort of explain it, you know? Could it be, you know, we said we did the Darth Vader theme before.

Could it be young Anakin Skywalker? Who's his father? Watto. Watto. in Skywalker. Who's his father? Watto. When I was a young boy,

Watto took me into the city. My father figure. Yeah, father figure. To see a marching band. That seems like something fucked up that would happen on Tattoo or whatever.

They're like, oh, look at them marching bands. I don't know why Watto would be like, son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken?

Damn me, Watto, a slave owner? Will you be the savior of the broken? Damn me, Wado, a slave owner. Will you be the savior of you? Will you kill me? Will you rise up and kill me? Will you defeat me? Your demons and all the non-believers. Can't look like me, Wado, your slave owner. Or could it be, no.

Qui-Gon? Qui-Gon? Talking to Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon? Talking to Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon could still be talking to Anakin. Okay, so Qui-Gon, one day I'll leave you a phantom. Ah, makes sense. I'll leave you Qui-Gon, yeah. Lead you into the summer to join the Black Parade.

The Sith. Sidious. Man, it's sidious. Luke talking to Ben. Okay. Because he does leave him a phantom That's true Luke wears black

He does To leave you in the summer and join What's the black parade in Star Wars? It's gotta be the dark side The dark side It's gotta be the dark side Because he joins the dark Well yeah because Ben Solo joins the dark side for a bit

And then he Oh okay Luke saying it to Ben Solo For some reason I thought you just said Ben as in Luke saying it to Ben solo. For some reason, I thought you just said Ben as in... Luke saying it to old Ben. No, but I... I thought it was Uncle Ben saying it to Luke. And I thought...

Why is Uncle Ben being... And then what happened is I got Uncle Ben confused with... What's the uncle on... Uh, Lars? Uncle Lars. I was like, why is Uncle Lars being like, you're going to be a Sith boy? I got really confused because I thought you were saying Ben as in like Obi-Wan was saying this to Luke. When I was a young boy.

What if this is, okay, let's talk about Uncle Ben. Maybe this is Uncle Ben saying it as he died and Spider-Man just for everybody else's convenience abbreviated. Well, yeah, does this song break down to with great power comes great responsibility? as he died and Spider-Man just for everybody else's convenience abbreviated well yeah does this song break down to with great power comes great responsibility

Peter Peter when you grow up it's already funny when I was a young boy my father took me into the CDC marching band

I got shot in the head in the guts in the guts in the guts it's hard to talk when you go to that's New York

slang hey what happened to Uncle Ben he saw a marching band oh In the guts, in the guts. It's hard to talk when you go to Florida. That's New York slang. Hey, what happened to Uncle Ben? Hey, he saw a marching band. He took his kid to see a marching band. Oh, my God. His kid was there. That sucks. That sucks.

I'm so sorry. Fuck. Anyway, here's a real slice of New York pizza. Okay, Sam, when you grow up, would you be the saviour of the broken and the beaten and the damned? Okay. Well, he's like, because I'm a blue-collar worker.

We'll always be in Trotter. Not Harry Osborn piece of shit. Yeah, exactly. Always got their fucking life given to them on a silver spoon. Here's me.

I can't. They're going to steal your fucking aunt's fucking house. Oh, okay, Ben. We're going to get you to a hospital. They're going to take

everything. They're going to take everything. You make sure she smacks Joel McHale so fucking hard. Okay, Ben, we're going to get you to a hospital. They're going to take everything. They're going to take everything. You make sure she smacks Joel McHale so fucking hard. Kazan, will you defeat them, your demons

and all the non-believers? Because Peter Parker's poor and he's like, people don't think you're going to go anywhere, kid. People don't believe in you. People don't believe in you

but they're going to believe in you. And the plans that you've made. Because they're always shitting on the poor. They're always going to be like, well, we're going to build a new highway here

but what about the people that live here? Who cares? One day I'll leave you a phantom is funny to say as you die. Yeah, yeah. Like right now, Uncle Ben. To leave you in the summer. To join the Black Parade. His mind's going.

He's bleeding out. You can ignore the last two lines because he doesn't know shit what's going on. He doesn't know what's happening. A Black Parade could be the symbiote. Okay. Uncle Ben also had a prophetic dream. And also later in the song,

I mean, there's the let's paint it black and take it back. Yeah. So that's, I guess, maybe it has to be the symbiote. Okay, so let's assume Uncle Ben,

the night before he got shot, he woke up and he's like, I had a dream. I had a dream where our child, our boy's Spider-Man. I know, May, he's not our full-on son. Well, depending on the timeline, I know he's our nephew or cousin or whatever.

Maybe he's your full-on son. Because I shoot blanks or whatever. You know how my cum is rubbish. May, Aunt May, you remember the comic book plot line to Trouble? Right? The Spider-Man comic book everyone loved. Of course.

You're the biological mother Of Peter Parker Our nephew Because you fucked the shit out of Richard While we were dating I'm mad at you again I'm not even going to tell you about my dream I just remembered the plot of Trouble I'm going to sleep on the couch

You had a serious conversation You were serious about aborting Peter What the hell Why are you and my boys I had a serious conversation where you were serious about aborting Peter. What the hell? What the hell? Why are you and my boys doing this? I had a dream last night. I brought up a lot of stuff. That boy's going to be the savior of the broken.

What was the dream about? You got covered in a black goo. What? That what? Never mind. I'm driving you to your wrestling practice. You're going to see this marching band. What?

What, Uncle Ben? No, no, no. Not the New York slang. But then in the end it was. That's crazy. Anyway, making sure you sell your marriage to the devil. It's a good choice. Yeah, it's going to be good for you.

It's going to be seen. Okay, so when you grow up, sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. Aunt May is sort of a helicopter parent, despite Peter Parker's advanced age. Not the times I feel like I should go move out of home. And through it all, the rise of all the bodies in the streets, fair enough. And when you're gone, Aunt May, we want you all to know. When you're gone, Uncle Ben and Aunt May, we want you all to know we'll carry on. Well, he takes over, I miss called them tasks. What's the name of her business? Aunt May's. Aunt May's. Aunt May. We want you all to know we'll carry on. Well, he takes over. I'm just calling them tasks.

What's the name of her business? Aunt May's? Aunt May's. Aunt May has a business? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The shelter. Oh, right. Feast.

Feast. Yes! Task is better. A world that sends you really- Totally awesome. Totally awesome. Sick food. Remember when you said it's about feeding

He said sick food He said sick food It's like the K from the sick Kind of leads into it Sick food Sick food Great yeah Okay

She's dead Why'd you change the name Sick food. Great, yeah. Okay. Aunt May looking after... She's dead. Why'd you change the name? Why'd he do that? Of course. The task is cooler. It's catchier. Totally awesome.

Sick food. Sick food. What are you talking about? Yeah, but you sound deranged when you say it. No, I don't think so. I think I actually said awesome. Aunt May, did you come back as a ghost just to admonish me? I told you I'd leave you a phantom.

Okay. To join you in the summer to leave. You're going to lead the Black Parade. What? What does fall apart about this Black Parade? Yeah. The only one that it kind of works with is Batman, but I guess, look. Or a Sith.

Okay. I think I should maybe look again, you know, with Ben Solo and Luke Skywalker. I mean, and again, they do, they have pathetic dreams, so they might know what's going on. So he's saying, I'll leave you a phantom, I'll be a force ghost. But then to lead you in the summer to join the Black Parade. Hey, I'm going to die and take you to the Sith. Yeah, I'm going to die and you're going to join the Black Parade and on that salt planet look pretty warm.

Okay. Sometimes they can put the summertime of his life. Yeah, that's true. Has Ben Soller ever referred to Luke Skywalker as his father? No. What a figure. He said him like a father, like a priest could be a father. Yeah.

Father Skywalker, in a way. In a way. In a way. He trained him, and he looked after him kind of. What if it's Yoda in the swamps of Dagobah? Okay. And the I'll leave you a phantom refers to when Luke goes in the cave with a ghost Vader.

Huh? Huh? So Yoda. So that's Luke's perspective. Talking about something him and Yoda did. And in Dagobah slang, the Black Parade is the swamp. I mean, just a marching band is a swamp. And my father means Yoda.

And the city is the swamp. And so is the marching band. Okay, so let's try that. Okay. When I was a young boy, Yoda took me into the swamp to see a swamp. He said, Luke, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned? Yoda said, will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans you have made? Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom.

A ghost Vader in a cave. I'll leave you a ghost Vader in a cave to lead you in the summer? We don't know what season it was. To join the Sith. Yeah, yeah. Maybe not. Also, you didn't say it like Yoda. Okay.

That's how I want to do it. When you grow up, son, Savior of the broken would you be? The beaten? Of the damned and the beaten? Defeat them with you. Demons. Yours.

The non-believers. All of you. That they have made the plan. I'll leave you a phantom because one day. In the summer to lead you. The black parade to join. Okay, okay. What if it's Yoda talking to his dad? How about

Okay It could be one of the Endless From Sandman Okay Talking to their father Who I believe is Father Time Okay Okay

So let's go with Dream or Death. Let's go with Dream first, i.e. Morpheus. So when they were a young boy, my father took me to the city to see a marching band. So again, when Dream was quite young, Father Time took them somewhere to the city. Just to see a marching band. Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, that's actually a sick activity. It's a lot of fun. It's loud. Yeah. It that yeah that's actually a sick activity it's a lot of fun it's loud yeah good for a kid yeah for a dream drums and stuff

yeah bum bum bum bum bum got a good beat fa fa fa that was the most fucked up

trumpet impression I have ever I went two hands I mean I don't know if I mock you but I don't know if I tried to do a trumpet a trumpet's like you also went two hands, trumpets one hand oh some trumpets

well no there's three notes on a trumpet yeah that's better that was the Elmo's world Oh, some trumpets. Well, no, there's three notes on a trumpet. Yeah, that's better. That was the Elmo's Waltz. We'll get to that another day. When you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned? Those are people that do all have dreams. Okay, that's true. So they're like, I have a dream to get out of these terrible conditions

and circumstances, and that is what dreams are all about. It's like, we've got to facilitate these in the dream. So we'll defeat them, your demons. He goes to hell and fights demons. Literal demons. Literal actual demons. Good. And the non-believers.

Yeah, that's fair. People who don't believe in dream. People who don't believe in the endless. Sorry, shut the fuck that's fair. People who don't believe in dream. People who don't believe in the endless. People who are trying to take out. Shut the fuck up about your dream. I don't believe in dreams. Oh, you dreamed last year. I actually watched a YouTube video that told me that all dreams are full of shit. I sucked off a unicorn, dude.

Whatever. Good for you. Yeah, well done. Okay. Because one day I'll leave you a phantom. So Father Time isn't really seen at all. Yeah, okay. The parents for the endless are like, whatever done, okay. Because one day I'll leave you a phantom, so Father Time isn't really seen at all. Yeah, okay. The parents for The Endless are like, whatever.

Phantom-esque. It's gone. It's like a phantom. It's a memory. And now the two lines that trip us up for every scenario. To lead you in the summer. To lead you in the summer, to join. So maybe it's the summer, like the summer of your life.

Okay. Summer is the easier of the two. What's the black parade for Dream? So the black parade. To join the black parade. To join the easier of the two. Yeah. What's the Black Parade for Dream? So the Black Parade. To join the Black Parade. To join the Black Parade. The Black Parade. So.

Oh. Okay. All right. All right. So Dream is often seen in like a garb. So he often wears quite like dark clothing. He uses crows or ravens. Uh-huh.

Don't. The murder of crows. Crows? I think it's crows. ravens. Uh-huh. Don't, murder of crows. Crows? I think it's crows. Yeah. Why is it ravens? I mean, they're the same bird, basically. No, there's a big thing where they're like, I'm not a raven, I'm a crow.

Well, you can shut the hell up. I'm a raven. They're the same bird. So he uses them. They're the connection between the dreaming and our world, the reality. Is that the Black Parade? Maybe. What about...

Yeah. I'm like... What if it's... Okay, what about this? Christopher Robin. He has to give... He's an adult now. And he's got to throw away Winnie the Pooh.

Okay? And he's trying to explain death to Winnie the Pooh. That's what the Black Parade is. Son, when you grow up... Obviously, Winnie the Pooh is going-huh. That's what the Black Parade is. Son, when you grow up, to lead you in the summer. So the end of the universe, right? We can still do this with time and dream and the endless.

This scenario has been stolen away from you. Sorry. But to join the Black Parade, i.e. your sister's show. Okay. Okay. Dream, you're out of show. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Dream, you're out of here. You're going into death.

The Black Parade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me, and other times I, well, yeah, I should probably be reading these lyrics rather than- Other times I feel like I should go, and throughout all the rise and fall, the body's in the streets. And when you're gone, we want you all to know. We'll carry on. Well, she being, maybe being maybe he's talking now

about his sister death so you know she's watching over me and other times I feel I should go again dream sometimes and before he gets captured

and then released whatever he's a pretty big cunt everyone kind of hates him and he learns a bit of a lesson when he comes back and he's like

maybe I was a piece of shit does everyone upset that dreams makes everyone dream of losing their teeth or thinking they're jumping off a cliff or whatever? Yeah. Pissing their pants in school. No, pissing their pants. With their dick out because they've got to bring pants. I always have in my dreams like that. I'm just wearing a t-shirt.

No pants. Oh yeah, toddlering it. And then I'm in class and I'm like, oh fuck, I've got to hide my dick. And because I can hide my dick, it's worse than if it was just like no other option. You know what I mean? What do you hide your dick in? Like with my it was just like no other option you know what I mean what do you hide your dick in like with my t-shirt

like I pull my t-shirt down over my dick kind of making me look like I'm in a baby's romper I guess because I like hooked a t-shirt over my balls

in the dream and no one's quite noticed yet which is what makes it so bad because like I'm just like on the edge of everyone being like Jackson's got no fucking pants

Morpheus watching this being like what the fuck what the hell what the hell what the fuck? What the hell? What the hell is this? He's meant to have no clothes on. How do you keep a t-shirt? It's supposed to be embarrassing for him, but he doesn't seem to mind.

He's making a work. He's making his fashion statement. It's like a baby in a rump. I tucked my balls. Everyone's applauding. He did it. This isn't right. The teacher's just written A plus on the board.

I don't know if that's for him, but it must be good. This dream's falling apart. This child is more powerful than I ever imagined. I tucked my balls and then I looked directly him in the eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're watching me.

Whoa, that's scary. I tucked my balls, turning. I know you're watching me. Watching me dream. You can't make me have a bad dream. I only dream good dreams. So yeah, so Legion Summer, like summer, sun, explosion, whatever, like warm, hot, end

of universe. Black Prey could be referencing his sister. Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. I feel that sometimes death's watching over me. I feel that sometimes death is watching over me. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. In that he should go. Well, this is Urielin

from Decimated Dreams. Eh? Dream. We found it. Whoa, big dick. Fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh. We found it, baby. We got Dream

and the guy's name is Dream. It's just this one big foghorn. We should use a foghorn instead of an air horn. Rather than air, just... So playing it back. Your misery and hate. Again, you've got like a desire and... Is Dreams married?

He was married. Are they a widow? No. So you're wearing widow marches. Well, in a way. Okay. So he was married to, what's her name? Starts with a C.

Muse. Cockatoo. Okay, no. I was like, ah, you know it. No. Circe? Calliope? Calliope? Calliope?

Calliope? The thing of circus music is? Calliope? Yeah. Silly name. Great name. So they had a kid together with her, but there was also, is it Nada? I don't know, dude, your story.

He sends her to hell okay that's a great way to divorce yeah yeah okay so could be dream

could be dream could be dream could be dream could be Batman could be Spiderman does this make sense at the end though just with dream

do or die you'll never make me because the world will never take my heart go and try you'll never break me we want it all we want to play this part.

Do or die, you'll never make me. Well, they do try and break him by like, well, they're trying to capture death, but they end up catching dream. They try and break him,

but he never wavers. Okay. I guess. So we got a lot of like likely situations, but we didn't actually cover what we said we were going to say. So now the question remains. Yeah. If our dad.

Joel. Yeah. Joel. Yeah. Jackson. What, dude? said we were gonna say so now the question remains yeah if our dad joel yeah joel yeah jackson what dude i'm already scared of the marching band did you see that trumpet i'm scared that i'm gonna get my lips in that trumpet or something dangerous a marching band is for the three of us specifically when you grow up will you be the savior of the beat and the broken of the damned i think at this point my dad is making some grand speech he's seen in a movie like the ultimate dad movie that no one who's not a dad hasn't seen like chariots of fire or something yeah yeah dad's kind of picked this moment because he's like i don't i'm not attached like i'm not connected with my kids.

This is the moment. I'm picking it at random. Will you defeat them, your demons and all the non-believers and the plans that they have made? When I think demons, I automatically think, like, you know, demon in a bottle, i.e. booze. Oh, okay. Dad, are you what?

This makes me think that maybe Dad's on the source. Or does Dad think we're on the source? We're a 10-year-old boy. I got alcoholic kids. There's the source. We're a 10-year-old boy. I got alcoholic kids. There's no age. We just decided 10. That's good, like, boy age for this speech. 10's a perfect age for a boy.

Yeah. Well, 10's a good age to take a boy to a marching band. Yeah, and to give him a fucked up speech. One day I'll leave you a phantom. Well, hey, son, I'm dying. Yeah. Or, hey, son, I... One day I will die.

Son, I was looking in the mirror today and I realized I'm older than I've ever been today. And it's making me wary about that I'm mortal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dad, does that mean that every time you look into a mirror, you're like, This is the oldest I've ever been looking at this mirror because you're always having a thought when you're looking in a mirror. Oh, yeah, big time. Am I going to age, Dad? Hey, little Joel, time comes for all of us.

One day you too will look like shit. That's the most fucked up thing to say to a 10-year-old. Dad, I'm 10 and scared of the marching band. Could this be... You just, what, Dad? I got here over the marching band. It's something like that. Fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Oh, my God, that little boy's stuck in that drop. Okay, if we take away any superhero antics, any kind of like, what if we just put this as in our dad, he is, let's say he's not dying through crime. He's got too little or not enough. Let's say he's not dying through crime. Okay. He's got too little or not enough. Yeah. Let's say he's got cancer. He's got terminal illness.

Something like that. Okay, he's passing away. And this is his way of saying that he's dying. He's telling us in a fucked up way because we're a little 10-year-old boy brain that does. I really like this in that context. So he's like, sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. Maybe a pot. Because you've got to remember, you've fallen over the same thing. No, not time travel. in that context. So he's like, sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me. Maybe a pot.

You've got to remember, you've fallen over the same thing. No, not time travel. When I was a young boy. When is important. So sometimes I get the feeling. That's current. So this is the time that our dad has sat us all down in the background of a marching band.

To tell us, when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken and beaten damned? Now, if we're regular people. Uh, what? Yeah, I think this is. Is he trying to say. Do good? Yeah, is he trying to be like. I think it's like a.

With great power comes great responsibility. I think it's like, basically, here's my guess. Dad's, dad's passing away. Yep. And he's looked at his three kids. Yes. And he's like, I fucked right off. And now he's like, this is my guess. Dad's passing away. Yep. And he's looked at his three kids. Yes. And he's like, I fucked right off.

And now he's like, this is my legacy. Oh, fuck. That's the worst fucking triplets I ever saw. I really messed the fuck up. I had two kids, named them the fucking same name.

And the third one, still has a J in the front. It's kind of like a messy Joel. It's like, Joel, Joel Jackson. And they're all fucking dumb as shit. And I got a fucking, I got like weeks left. I got to inspire them to do something with their lives.

So I've not left this behind. And this could be a thing where it's like, well, as a way to connect, maybe they do know like, you know, a Superman kind of character. Oh, okay. Where it's like, you know, they are a savior. Actually, that makes less sense. Oh, no, I like it. He's probably a religious father.

He's a religious father. He's a religious father. He's just trying to connect to his kids to be like, you know. Sons, I'm dying. Also, I know Superman. What? No, I know Superman. I'm just trying to be like, you were trying to relate to a kid, putting in terms of superiority. I was confused by our own bullshit.

No, this is more like religious. Yeah. Yeah. So our dad is dying and maybe he's trying to find God. We're just like, you should not be talking to us at a marching band. Dad, if I can't hear a fucking word you're saying. You'd be the save the broken, the beaten, the dead. Is that one of our triplets in that drum?

So I guess dad has some... Dad, it's full arse. Dad, could you step in at this point? Yeah, dad, he need help. Dad, get him. Dad, the triplet. I'm tripped. Dad, but I know I'll get trampled instantly. And Dusha Khan, because he'll lead the marching band.

You got to get in there, Dad. Save Zaman. He's going to maybe die. Dad, are you familiar with the ending of Animal House where they lead the marching band the wrong way and they march into a wall? That's what Dusha will do. That's what Dushy will absolutely do.

And you know, if he's going to do that, then my bare ass cheek will hit that wall. I don't want to do that, Dad. You have grey cheeks, Dad. Dad, come on. Shut up about the Black Parade. Help your son. So is this, I'm guessing Dad is speaking to us.

He's dying and he's got some regrets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten, the damned? Is he talking about himself here? Oh, no. Is he just being like, you know, dad is just like, he's broken, he's beaten, or he's talking about like, I don't know, any rest of your family, your mum. No, I think

he's like, you gotta get into, you know, do something with your lives. Yeah. Like, I didn't do anything. And like, you don't seem like you're gonna do. So get out there, look after people, lead the black parade. Maybe his dad lived either a hedonistic

life or a life where he climbed that corporate ladder and he's looking at his thing and he's like, I didn't do much to help my fellow man. All I did was just kind of climb. I stepped on a few heads to get ahead. And that's not great. So sons, will you be the

savior of the broken, the beaten, the damned? You know, like try to do what I couldn't. Do better than I did. I actually think that this is more accurate to us than we think because our dad at the start is like, hey, be a hero, do better than I ever did. And then later on we're like, I'm just a man, not a hero. I don't care.

So your dad's like I fuck I be good guys please be good because one day like I'm not I'm gonna die

I'm gonna die we'll carry on and though you're broken and defeated dad your weary widow mom I'm just

I do also because again once at to lead you in the summer to join the black parade is this when dad gets distracted

by the marching band to join the he's is this when dad gets distracted by the marching band to join the he's like he's lost his like he doesn't know what he's to say next and he's like and you'll

leave your phantom into the summer to join the the black parade maybe there actually should be a full stop or dot dot dot

an ellipses and then the marching band finishes and the black parade starts to join the Black Parade. It's over there. Whoa!

And then we're excited about that. Yeah, we get that speech entirely. Or it's just like, oh, the Black Parade is just death. Yeah. Don't tell me to die. Is summer like what he calls life? Is this New York slang? Summer being life and then Black Parade

being death? I think none of it matters anyway because I'm not listening to that. And then at the end, I'm just a man, not a hero. Just a boy. Something, something. I'm just a man, not a hero. I don't care. That's pretty accurate. Just a man, not a hero. Just a boy who had to sing

this song. Just a man, not a hero. I'm just a man. I'm not a hero. I don't know what dad was thinking. I don't know what dad the fuck was talking about. I'm giving all this fucking pressure on us. I'm just a boy. I don't even know why I'm here. I just have to sing this song.

Is it, again, metaphor for, say, talking to your therapist? I had to sing a song as in, I had to get this off my chest because my dad said some real fucked up shit two weeks before he died. The ending of the song is so funny. Yeah. It's like, so your dad's giving you this massive motivational speech being like, be a hero. And then the song ends with, do or die, you'll never make me. Because the world will never take my heart.

Go and try. You'll never break me, dad. We want it all. We're going to play this part. We'll carry on. Do or die, you'll never make me. We'll carry on. Because the world will never take my heart. We'll carry all. We're going to play this part. We'll carry on. Do or die, you'll never make me. We'll carry on. Because the world will never take my heart. We'll carry on.

The we'll carry on is me in the background. I didn't really listen. You'll never break me. We want it all. Dad, you'll never break me down to conform to being a hero. I'm going to be a sack of shit my whole life. We want to play this part.

We'll carry on. We'll carry on. What is Pom in the Dust, or if not a whole bunch of carry on? Yeah. So, yeah, I guess, or like in the last, like, could just be us,

you know, placating. Dad? Yes, Dad. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then later on. Oh, we'll carry on. We'll carry on, Dad.

It's like Dad was telling us next to our friend. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then later on being like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. Yeah, yeah, we'll carry on. We'll carry on that. It's like dad was telling us next to our friend. Yeah, yeah. And then later on being like, we'll carry on. We'll carry on. He's dying. We'll carry on.

We're mocking a dying father. I'm one of those kids that had no filter. My dad's dying. I say to my other 10-year-old friend, there is no way to get that information. Anyway, when it comes to my dying dad and play some Sega Genesis, I have Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

Did you say Sega? Sega. Sega Genesis? I said Sega. Yeah. My dad's dying, actually. Do you say Sega in your house? My mom doesn't stop crying.

No, yeah. Mom's sad all the time. No, I said Sega. Actually, maybe we should come to your place and play Nintendo 64. My house is a bummer. Yeah. Yeah, the back range because I'm wailing away.

Looks like his dad's dying or whatever. I'm not sad. I don't know. I don't know how I feel. He said something weird the other day. He said, will I be the saviour of the broken? The beaten, the damned? Do you know what that could be? Anyway, what games you got? Anyway, I said Sega. How do you kill Eggman?

Or Robotnik? Or Robotnik? I don't know what his name is on the Sega. Well, I guess that's what would happen. Would we live up to the lofty heights our father wanted for us? No. Absolutely not. Are we currently living up to the heights that our own fathers had? No.

Not even close. I would say that, look, I'd hate to speak on behalf of all of our fathers, but I don't think any of our fathers had particularly super high hopes for any of us. And I would say we're maybe not you, Joel Zabit. Oh, look, expectations, I think, were pretty high. Oh, but the reality. Oh, the reality. Expectations, I think, for me were mid.

Yeah. And reality, mid. Raise your hand or maybe just a vocal. If any of your parents ever said the words, imagine if you tried, or what if you lived up to your full potential? Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's too late now. It's pretty funny. Whatever. I don't care. I'm not a hero late now. It's pretty funny. Whatever. I don't care. I'm not a hero, Dad. We're in our 30s. We fucked it. Yeah, do we.

It's too late to unfuck it now. Can't go back now. Yeah, this is our life. What else works? What could I do? Not much. There you go, Gerard. It ended up being a poignant episode.

Exactly. So you can come back to Australia or you can come on the show. So I guess, yeah. Can we live up to the lofty heights of our father after he gave us a fucked up speech? No. But can anyone really live up to the lofty expectations of any- Batman's the only one who gets close in this- And that's because he died.

Yeah. Yeah. Can you live up to the lofty expectations of your dead father? Yeah, because you can't really argue back. Yeah. Did it, Dad. We got you. You're going to be like, hey, Dad, yeah, I did all those stuff.

I promise you do, even though you didn't. Just lying to a ghost. Yeah, where have you been? Lying in a graveyard. Oh, yeah. Well, on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel.

Thank you to Gerard Way for personally giving us this song. Thank you, Gerard. We look forward to having you on the show, Gerard. Big penny in comic books. Love your work. Welcome to the Black Parade, in brackets, for Plumbing the Dice. If you could just please confirm which superhero or comic book character that this was actually based on, and who was the father?

Was it Father Time, or was it Thomas Wayne? Or what are your thoughts about Jor-El rediscovering fucking cock and pussy. Yeah. Just email us. Thanks, Gerard. Bye-bye. Good luck with the rest of your tour. Hey, listener. Did you know that Plumbing the Death Star has a whole bunch of related T-shirts, hoodies, and sweatshirts available for you to purchase? You can get various designs like the Plumbing the Death Star logo, a generic band T-shirt that is either a cool reference or direct bullying to how I dress in my real life,

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