Plumbing the Death Star - Does Inspector Gadget Live a Worthwhile Life? with Lena Moon

Episode Date: November 21, 2021

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you're listening to the sans pants network home of comedy culture adventures and ghosts hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star i'm joel so tired hey everyone welcome to this week's episode. God damn it. Fine. We love pepping your talk. I'm not allowed to contribute yet. Dusha, come on. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel.

I'm Jackson. And today we are joined by special guest Lena Moon. Thank you so much for having me and letting me talk now. They should put a blanket ban on all talking until we're introduced. He said, Lena, you should actually probably mute. You should consider muting your microphone until I say your name. And I wink three times into my camera and I dance my hands around my head. So I had to wait for all three indicators before I knew it was my turn to contribute. And if you talk before that, I will end this Zoom meeting right now.

And I'll never be asked back. He was really specific. He was pretty insistent. It was intense. Yeah, it is really intense. When we ask the important questions, like, does Inspector Gadget live a worthwhile life? So Inspector Gadget killed by getting hit by a truck or whatever happened to him what is the origin story again i assumed he was just like built but you're right there is a thing

where it was like severely injured yeah i don't know why i remember this yeah he he basically does have the rubber cup origin but for some reason the only part of the Matthew Broderick version of the film I remember is that... The only version. Some might argue that. Some, Lena would argue that. I couldn't name another Inspector Gadget origin film, so maybe I'll also say that. Anyway, in that, he gets crushed by a falling Yahoo sign. Oh, how poignant.

Yeah, and then when it falls. In today's modern era, it would be a Google sign. It really makes you think about how the internet's hurting society. Yeah, we both went for a sip. You both went for a sip. That was crazy. I felt very left out there's nothing more like a a think sip yeah the only can i have on my table is uh like a canned

boba and it's truly disgusting let me tell you um sitting there for like three to four days only two at this point yeah it's proper but it's not real it's it's entirely fake it's fake um so he gets killed by the yahoo sign which presumably just crushes inspector gadget's body to a fine slurry yeah uh yeah it also goes yahoo beautiful which is impossible for a sign to do unless it's rigged with a series of you know speakers and things it's if any if anything it's non-diegetic commentary yeah for sure unless the creators of yahoo themselves were like if our sign kills a man we need to use that as an advertising opportunity so let's build some speakers in for that exact situation we don't know is the point you know they actually paid millions of dollars to crush inspector gadget back then he was just mr gadget let's not forget

yeah um i feel like it's also worth pointing out that in this version of the origin uh his villain dr claw yeah or claw i don't know. Yeah, Claw, whatever. Anyway, he gets his Claw because the explosion that all this shenanigans cause in Inspector Gadget's close call with death launches a bowling ball up into the air, which crashes down through the roof of Claw's car, crushing his hand, giving him- What a way to go. So Claw, it might be one of the only villains with a legit reason to hate the lead character. be one of the only villains with like a legit reason to hate the lead character and it's so funny because for claw he's like that fucking guy who got killed i i don't know i guess he doesn't swear revenge before knowing he survives but finding out that the guy who broke your hand has become inspector gadget and all you got was a terrible metal claw yeah i'd be furious as well yeah i'd be legit uh especially angry yeah claws dynamite's the one that causes all of

it though so really claw kind of like itself okay so we're back on claw is a jerk yeah yeah okay well i don't know look you can stay on claws the true hero if you want it depends if you're a pro or anti-inspector gadget really yeah what do you think of him as a as a person personally yeah annoying so yeah maybe yeah i mean you know this whole question of whether or not he lives a good life is really going to be the swing vote for me true as to whether or not i think he is the hero i mean my my memory's thin on this one really really thin um i remember he's got like a like a finger that can turn into a key or something yeah i want to get a list of his gadgets because yeah what the one i remember the most iconic one i think is that he can say and let's not forget to activate any of his gadgets

he says go go gadget now i don't know if he has to say that or if he just chooses to but either way that comes oh my god every single time that's a bad quality of life to begin with if we're if we're you're if i have to say go go gadget before like brushing my fucking teeth every night imagine you would feel like a fucking moron standing in front of your mirror a lot of the gadgets you just wouldn't use and imagine like yeah it would just be inconvenient like yeah it is worth noting humiliating he is still just a guy also so like if he doesn't want to say go go gadget toothbrush he could simply just use his toothbrush but then why is he saying go go gadget ever for whose benefit but no for his gadgets i mean like you fuck it you're a guy jackson you're just a

regular piece of shit man yeah no fucking robotics built into you you're still yeah presumably and i'm really taking a go one fake ball it's kind of robotics well go go gadget come yeah true But I got one regular bolt to come with. The gadget in that snow. My question is, if we're talking Yahoo! Days technology, the voice-to-speech-to-text stuff would be so bad. That's true. And if it's voice-activated,

I reckon the gadgets would be severely unreliable. Go-go gadget toothbrush. Did you say go-go gadget toothpaste? No, no, Siri. I absolutely did not. But that's not so bad if you're just firing toothpaste into your mouth. But I was thinking go-go gadget shotgun sounds a bit like toothbrush. Instant death.

Instant death. Go-go gadget. There's so many opportunities killed in his own bathroom fuck it up little little minor mistakes that she makes like you know how siri just activates herself sometimes it's like having a cup of tea and you're like yeah it's like really serious um well you know i'm not sure what the prognosis is going to be and then like your knee opens up and like a huge ball flies out of it. Oh, fuck.

Sorry, hang on. I've got to get that ball. I've got to get that ball. This is so embarrassing. That's my gnosis ball. It heard go-go gadget gnosis. You understand? No?

What's a gnosis? No? What's a nocissus? It's nocissus, nocissus. Like, it hits my sis every time it comes out. I'm like, nocissus. And then it's for hitting my sister. I'm sorry? That is nonsense. That's nonsense, guys.

You're being silly. What's his real name? That's what I would like to know. John Brown. John Brown. John Brown. Well, thank you. Great. And also, while I'm just providing us with incredible wealth of Inspector Gadget lore,

and, you know, really grounding this very silly podcast. I'm looking at you two. Too much shenanigans. No, you're right. We got carried away so fast. Less laughs and goofs and more learning. How about that? Please educate me.

Please push something valuable out of my head with information about Inspector Gadget. I'd love that. I've got some great news, Lena. I don't need to push anything out of your head because the riffing you guys were just doing. Yes. The riffing you were just doing is a big thing with Inspector Gadget because his gadgets often fuck up because things sound the same.

So there you go. You already knew. That's incredible. So he's like an inbuilt, like attempted, like a comedy character then. Yes. Yeah.

Which quality of life is already pretty bad. Yeah, that's rough. If the joke is inbuilt into your life, if you're saying like, oh, I don't know, I think I could do better, and your body hears go-go gadget propeller, and your propeller pops out of your head and flies you away, you're like, I am somebody's laughing their ass off.

I mean, that's a great way to get out of a breakup. I think I can do better. And then just fly away. Oh, really? And then the person dumping you across from you like, I actually don't know if I could. That was sick as hell. I did not take advantage.

Yeah, or in that case for me it would be confirmation bias. It would be like, I can. Yep, no, I can. I don't need that in my life. Where's he going? He didn't even want that to happen. Yeah. That's insane to me that that's built in to the thing of it.

But I guess that just remembering now that it was a cartoon makes more sense because I had Matthew Broderick in my head the whole time and I was like, was there non-live action? Of course there was. Was it always like this? Here's my question about Inspector Gadget, okay? Does he have a brain still? That is a great question. The copter is in his head.

It's in his head. Yeah, especially because they're going to claim that the things are always misfiring because they sound the same. I reckon it's because he doesn't have a brain and he's using the wrong words yeah if they're like why does inspector gadget keep fucking up the creators of him have to be like he's actually not really sentient okay he's if you cut him open it's all bits like we gotta fit skis in his legs yeah he's mostly sk. Yeah, he's mostly seas and propellers at this point.

So, yeah, there's not much room to think with at this point. He says any simacularum of, oh, I did not pronounce that right, but any resemblance to a sentient human being is purely coincidental at this point. He doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah. We had to take out his ability to remember things to replace it with a magnifying glass. So, you know, we had to take out his ability to remember things to replace with a magnifying glass.

So, you know, we really were running out of brain space. Do I have a family, Penny? What? Never mind. Go-go gadget magnifying glass. That's better. It's better for him. It's actually a sad story, really's tragic i've got a list of a

list of some gadgets here so he has gadget binoculars so binoculars lower down out of his hat and over his eyes that's another important thing about inspector gadget okay in the cartoon his clothes are part of him yeah he can never be nude yeah i'm assuming the brain also opens because the gadgets aren't in the hat. They're in the brain as we've established. So the hat, yeah, okay. Do you reckon it causes him immense pain every time one of these gadgets comes out of his head? It's like a Wolverine crossover.

Oh! He has to regrow the skin every time. Is anyone else imagining the two halves of his brain sort of splitting aside as though on a hinge for the propeller to come out? Almost always. What does that do to a guy? Probably pretty traumatising.

Yeah. He also has gadget coat. His trench coat inflates when he pulls one of its buttons that enables him to float in the water or in the sky. Why does he have to fucking pull a thing for that, but he says go-go gadget for everything else? That's annoying. This is incredibly inconsistent at this point.

Yeah, but I kind of prefer that to him being like, go-go gadget, propeller, and smacking himself on the side of the head to pull the propeller blade out. Like, I get that some of them do need to be a helicopter and some of them don't. What? None of us are arguing that, Jackson.

Jackson, what the fuck? I mean, not a helicopter. Some of them have to be voice activated and some of them don't. Sorry, I'm deep in the Inspector Gadget hole. Okay, I'm thinking about the propeller. Leave me alone. No. No.

Okay. He has go-go gadget cuffs. A handcuff comes out of his forearm just above the hand. Is that useful? Does it come out that he can then cuff people with or is it still attached to him? That implies taking out one of the main bones of the forearm to have room for, you know, these things,

which is going to null and void the use of the entire hand. Are you imagining that when they're like, okay, we've rebuilt you, most of your bones are handcuffs now. Yeah, it's like operation, right? They have to make the space, you know, like plug it in. How horrific is it to imagine a forearm up to a point, but if the handcuff is your bone, that means a section of it is chain, and then from the other side of that it just dangles down. It's nunchuck arm.

Great for slapping, though. That's pretty good. Yeah. Hugely impractical for wanking, though, which is my assumed activity that is outside of being a helicopter. Well, genitals. We're there now, let's talk. Yeah, we are there.

It's a big question. So a trench coat implies that it does probably open at the front. Yeah, it also implies he's definitely a creep. Yeah, big pervert energy, absolutely. Showing people whatever's under there. But what is under there? Because, I mean, like, obviously nowhere can you see a fully nude Inspector Gadget, so I will Google that.

Fully nude Inspector. There's got to be fanfic or something, right? Yeah. It'd be like Go-Go Gadget, huge penis. Huge cum. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm struggling to find a full.

Oh, I said fully nude. I reckon if I wrote a fanfic about him, it would be a lot about, like, the arms coming out of the head, being involved in, like, a seriously good fingering situation. Absolutely. No, not for sure. And now I've just actually seen there's a T-shirt that you can buy

with an incredibly horny female version of his magic action. Hell, yeah. And the hand is coming out the top of their head and reaching down and pulling up the trench coat a little bit to reveal the top of her stockings and a slight part of her upper thigh. To have an extra hand, I think if I had an extra hand on my body, it would feel like someone else was pleasuring me. Even though it's my hand, I wouldn't feel like I was jerking off.

No, because especially if it was electronic. Yeah, exactly. else was pleasuring me even though it's my hand yeah i wouldn't feel like i was jerking off i'd feel like i was getting like electronic yeah exactly you know it's like it's a kind of robotic stranger you know yeah coming out of your head it's the robot version of sitting on your hand and letting it go exactly yeah i mean it's a wonder that inspector gadget fights crime at all because all i would be doing that situation is just orgasming yeah well i guess that again and again and again and again theory that no genitals yeah i think you're right otherwise he'd be too distracted all the time exactly so it's probably like a propeller in there you know i just got the scariest notification imaginable lena moon has shared a file on this meeting. Oh, gee, I wonder what this will be. Always trust files

from this sender. It's just a present. Potential security issue detected. Yeah, download anyway. Yeah, I'll take it. Lena wouldn't hurt me. It's a virus! Oh, damn. Where did it go? Where did it save to?

Why am I going to so much effort to find this? It's just the horny pig come on no i do want to say it oh okay yeah i see i see that is horny it's got a good energy though i like inspector gadget's long face um anyway i digress gadget neck his neck arms and legs can telescope and extend to great lengths oh hear this shit embedded in his left hand is a crank that can be used to retract the arm so he can extend it as far as he likes then he's gonna crank it back fuck off some of this technology is from the 1700s yeah why not what if you can shoot a propeller out of your brainless skull, you should be able to retract your arm.

Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't have to wind yourself back together after you've used your gadgets. So say there's a crook running away from me, right? And I'm like, go, go, gadget, arm. And it flies out and grabs the crook by the scruff of his neck. Do I have to then crank as fast as fucking possible to drag him back to

like he's caught a fish surely that's when you back over fishing fishing for criminals can i ask who did this to this poor man because they're unwell i think and if it's the government they really needed to do better than this yeah well inspector gadget is it's also going to be interesting what came first inspector gadget or robocop because if robocop came first uh yeah then this is clearly playing off that which means that yeah you can't claim innocence with inspector gadget ah inspector gadget came first there you go yeah i think it's got like really really old like inspector like it's really like yeah like the flint is it it's is it flintstones just like flintstones here or is it like 80 i think it's 80s it's 83 robocops 87 so so robocop ripped off inspector gadget that's crazy so okay so i've looked up i've looked up

apparently this is the origin according to cora.com you know a very verified source gadget was in a car accident caused by mad which is the the company or the the group that claw belongs to and threw his vehicle off the road and into a swamp. He was rescued by a reclusive engineer who took the now quadruple amputee to his cabin. Holy shit! And rebuilt him using old helicopter parts. Yes!

Oh my God, he is actually a helicopter! Imagine waking up and the guy's like, I rebuilt you, and you're like thank god he's like with an old how what what what how also that is so funny and explains so well why he has to crank himself back together because this old recluse is like yeah i can do this i can i'll do it like oh man i'm totally up for the challenge of doing this. I'm going to do this. And then he's like, I've run out of ideas

and I don't know how to make it go back in. It's like me trying to use Photoshop. Like, I come up with all these ways to use Photoshop where I'm like, this is correct. And then anyone who knows how to use the program is like, this is so, you're doing everything three times harder than you have to do it. But it works.

Yeah, but it's effective. But it works. Yeah, and that's the point. At the end of the day, it only took me two hours longer and I still have a hot tub to put on top of my video on Twitch. But I probably could have had the same effect in 35 seconds. Exactly. If you take an Inspector Gadget to a hospital, he might have been, you know, he might have

survived. Instead, this man who I like to imagine was sitting there in his swamp and he's like, I got all these helicopter parts. What am I going to do? And then sliding down the hill, coming to Inspector Gadget, sans limbs. And he's like, thank you, oh, Lord Jesus Christ. I know what to do now. Make inspector gadget.

What do you say when you wake up to a recluse who's made you part helicopter? Do you be like, fuck you? Shoot me with a gun, please. Hey, buddy, come here. Come closer. Come closer. Fuck you. And then you.

Are you kidding me? Why did you do this? This is so irresponsible and, like, really, like, actually quite negligent, dude. Yeah. Did you think I would be happy when I woke up that you'd done this? Did you think you were doing me a favor somehow? I was like, if the recluse woke me up, I was like, hey, you can activate stuff with go-go gadget or whatever.

The first thing I say is, just to try it out, go-go gadget explode. Go-go gadget kill this man. Just see what your body did. Go-go gadget appropriate punishment for what you did to me but also imagine you wake up you've you've come to terms with the fact that you're full of helicopter parts and the guy's like so to activate them you will need to say go go get and to add insult to injury one further humiliation you will need to say go go gadget before doing any of this also you're a cop now i guess dude you should let me die

this is a lot to load on top of me i've just woken up okay um so what do we think this means for his quality of life so far like well being part helicopter is fucked yeah it's fucked up and you nobody should go through that yeah i would have been on board with the helicopter thing until I found out about the arm crank. Yeah. And that you might not find out straight away. You know, that might be you extend your arm as he's like teaching you how to use your body.

And then he's like, you do have to crank it up. And then you pick up your arm and wrap it around the Russian recluse's neck and choke him to death, you know, as retaliation, which would be fair enough, I think. Would you rather, you know, because I think a similar situation happens in the Rob Schneider film, The Animal. Would you rather have a The Animal situation happen to you, where a recluse fills you with animal parts as opposed to helicopter parts? What do you reckon would be your what would you prefer

there what would make you happier upon waking up thank you so much for this question jackson that's okay joel um i think i would prefer to be okay look so number one okay so out of these two choices yeah number one choice and it's not one that you offered me but is to just simply die in the accident that causes this that would be my preference sure but if that can't happen it's not on the table i think i'd probably go helicopter over animal because a helicopter is operated by people true and my body would be operated by a person, me. Are you saying, but like a leopard is not operated by people? Yeah, I would be far more scared of the free will

from the animal parts in me than... Yeah. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Holy shit, we have such good shirts available at the moment. Seriously, if you head to sandspantsradio.com slash shop, we've got a bunch of new amazing shirts available for you to grab and wear on your filthy bodies.

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we've had in ages so head to sanspantsradio.com slash shop and grab yourself an awesome t-shirt we also do limited monthly runs based on specific designs like references or in jokes they're so good so once again that's sanspantsradio.com slash shop i think i'm up for i'm up for like all these different new inventions being put inside me like i'm totally up for like robotic person blend that's fine my issue is that we have already established which i think has to be true they've lobotomized me yeah yeah that's good you are you are no longer here huh really yeah in order to fit all this stuff in my body that's the only that's my only concern that's why i'm leaning out and more into animal parts yeah that's fair that's cut and dry replacement yeah i suppose in a way

you did get your wish huh you did die in the accident but your body was repurposed you know yeah because i am completely up for i i think you know obviously awesome like if i you know don't if i'm claw if i've lost an arm and i get an awesome prosthetic arm down for that yes but it does seem like the parts of it the voice activation part is brutal yeah yeah and yeah the the obvious drawbacks of a casual lobotomy yeah yeah yeah are making me lean out so yeah more to animal more to rob schneider's the animal which is fair enough i think that's right lean as well the only thing that's stopping me there because he gets a extra sense of smell he gets a whole bunch of other powers he does want to fuck a goat a bunch uh and that turns me off it's. Not a huge change for me.

Hey, that's great if it's already there. If that instinct's already in you. Please don't think that's true. Yeah. I'd really like that too. If I suddenly felt horny for a goat, but like I would know academically I shouldn't fuck the goat. Great news, Lina.

This throwaway comment you just made, we're sticking with it apparently. thank you so much for continuing it yeah the goat jackson yeah sorry please continue well i was just thinking to what happened yeah well of course well because so rob schneider like he doesn't want to fuck the goat because he knows it's wrong to do but his animal instincts are like you should fuck this goat rob schneider yeah and i'm just wondering what that like what does that do to is it like a willpower thing if if i you know like do i yeah that's a picture for the audience jackson looks very very very intrigued and is waving his hands around lena uh backed away from the microphone looked like she was gonna cry and then die

because i'm considering the actual moral implications of the conversation we're having right now which is like which is like yeah maybe i've gone too deep but like the idea that like you being like well it's just willpower isn't it that's like oh god like but also like if i spend every day as rob schneider wanting to fuck a goat and having to fight that, that's exhausting. That's heaps. Yeah, absolutely. It's going to consume you eventually.

You know what I mean? I'm assuming he's also, you know, battling, like, I want to eat a lot of raw meat and I'm like a vego. Yeah, for sure. Maybe I'm back. I'm Gadget. I'm Gadget. I'm Gadget now.

I'm just going to have to learn to enunciate. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Go, go, Gadget. Be clearer with my words. Your power is the better as Gadget as well. Yeah, because I've got ADHD and I often say the wrong word. So it would be like, go, go, Gadget.

And then because I get names mixed up, I get things. And, you know, it would cause inconveniences. But not as much as constantly, constantly, constantly trying not to fuck a goat. Yeah, that's sort of like a permanent life experience. The rest you can't avoid. Yeah. Have you, part of your brain, have to fight the urge to fuck a goat your entire existence?

You'd be exhausted. Or every day you'd be tired. It's too much. And it's full on. Like Rob Schneider ends up fucking a, he like fucks a mailbox because he he's so desperate to have sex with the goat and i think at one point a dog wait what he fucks a dog no he wants to fuck a dog but he doesn't in the end there's a lady

animal and they have babies that also have animal powers so he's fine i'm so glad that you have brought this movie into my world. I don't know why. I've never seen it. I know it's a world, too. It's all I can think about. Anyway. Okay. Just like.

Just like that, we're moving past it. So, Jackson, you put up the Cora thing before. Yeah. I've also done a little bit of research. Because this is a zoom episode and they're dangerous because we've all just got a computer screen yeah you know how you said he was killed by going into a swamp or whatever yeah the official 1991 trading card oh this was never actually seen in episode no no uh inspector gadget was an ordinary police officer named john brown

and that was the first time his name was referenced, who fell down a flight of stairs after slipping on a banana peel. When he awoke from his operation, he had more than 13,000 crime-fighting gadgets attached to his body. That's so much worse. Because a slip down the stairs

presumably breaks your leg. Maybe you take a nasty bump on the head. But you're not eviscerated. They took such a liberty with his body. Did they say who did it to him? I really need to know who's done this without this man's consent. And did the family get to say it? Like, you know, when I'm an extant kid, when someone has an operation, they call me and they say, can we do these things?

Who approved this? I think it's because this series has a crazy premise that is only just vaguely referenced, but you never see. Yeah. There is no real answer to who did it. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. I guess they thought it wasn't important but there was also apparently like

there's like crazy fan theories like that dr claw is the original inspector gadget yeah i know this one john so john brown the guy who fell down the stairs or whatever because again because that was on a trading card not in the show so prior to that knowledge, it's implied that he died in an explosion or something, which is funny because that's very different from what I would appeal. Oh, my God. So it's like completely not addressed. No. Yeah. And they thought they would get away with not explaining it because they know that every time any of us hear, do-do-do-do-do, Inspector Gant.

We just completely accept that he exists. All it takes is a little tune to go, and you're like, yeah, I'm on board. I'm not thinking about the implications. Yeah. So the voice actor who voiced Claw, his daughter voiced penny so that led into the theory that oh my god inspector gadget the original guy pre gadget yeah died well was like presumed dead yeah because penny is the niece in the show and she's very clever and whatever and she's usually the one who solves all of the inspector gadgets a fucking moron yeah oh my god dumb as shit she is like what like 10 Yeah Just solving mysteries and not getting any credit

No of course not She's 10 solving mysteries Okay well welcome to a modern existence Penny Exactly All men are in some way Inspector Gadget And I know that Well yeah because also just like to speak from personal experience When I was 10 I was solving mysteries for a local cop and what and

you could google me you wouldn't see anything that would not be the first entry that's true i'm not getting any credit that's crazy man that's i know someone should do like a document like a little like a mini series about that bring it to life speak up everyone's been paid off by this yeah actually no no one got paid off that was the problem that's what makes it more societal everyone witnessed it no one said anything history books have been written i get no credit who's speaking out for the 10 year old girls that solve all the murders that really happen you know what i mean anyway someone should write about it but dusha you yeah lay out the fan theory for us yeah so you can already see where this is going and

this fan theory theory was disproven uh six years after the show or whatever when they revealed dr claw's face but yeah there was a theory that inspector dr claw actually looked the same as inspector gadget and that's why penny was never hurt because claw actually hated gadget because he replaced claw in his life even though that is a pretty fucked up situation to to see a guy like a robot man take over your life that you know has no brain you know that that talk about quality of life well i was gonna ask yeah just really quickly jackson before i can move away from this website after i share this little bit of information with you because you're gonna love it and it sounds like that you may have actually worked or named this organization because mad obviously sounds like mad great joke everyone uh could be an acronym but there's no explanation

but there is theories that it means mean and dirty uh look it doesn't matter the only theory that i care about that you need to hear is that there is one theory that mad stands for men against dogs that's great. Starting a whole organisation just... Are they morally against dogs or are they doing something about it? Well, I mean, they hate Brain the dog. Ah, me too. He's too clever for a dog.

He's too smart. Dogs should be a certain level of stupid, dude. Come on. Sorry, can I just bring something up really quickly that i've read as well i'm not going to be quiet but i'm just looking at the live action films but for inspector gadget sorry i completely interrupted you guys no no please please tony martin played inspector gadget in inspector gadget Oh, no, so he played Dr. Claw in Inspector Gadget 2. What the fuck?

That's weird. So French Stewart was Inspector Gadget. What do you mean? Oh, it's not the Tony Martin, I thought. Oh, okay. That's disappointing. No, it's not. It's not comedian Tony Martin. No, okay. That's disappointing. No, it's not. It's not comedian Tony Martin.

No, no. But it is an Australian actor, Tony Martin. It is. I had a meltdown for a second there because I was like, how did I not know? Because Tony Martin was in a movie called Scumboss. Yeah. But Chief Quimby is played by Mark Mitchell.

Did they shoot Inspector Gadget 2 in Australia? What is happening here? Maybe they did. It was filmed in Brisbane. Not even Sydney. Why are they filming in Brisbane? What happened? Why did they do that?

I wish I knew. Some tax break. It stresses me out that Tony Martin, the man who played Claw in Inspector Gadget 2, does look like he could be related to Tony Martin, the Australian comedian. 100%. It's weird. It's very weird.

Or like the one who played the Claw is Tony Martin 20 years in the future. I don't like looking at either of these people. It's stressing me out. But also Australian Tony Martin, future i don't like looking at either of these people but also australian tony martin brilliant casting choice for inspector gadget looks exactly like it's the perfect face which is why my brain melted when i saw he played dr claw because i was like well that's not going to do anything for the fan theories that Dr. Claw is an expecting agent. Fucking hell.

Anyway, sorry. I've been on a huge ride. No, we're doing it now. Which is good. Holy shit. Yeah. I don't like looking at, oh, my God, looking at the cast list. Nick Rufflin is Jungle Bob.

I'm taking a step back. So here's the question i want to ask you because earlier you were saying lena if you were inspector gadgeted you'd get the words wrong right right you'd fuck it up occasionally 100 so what would you be go go gadgeting in your life to then mess up like when would you use this ability to go go gadget question yeah am i helicopter or have i been inspector gadgeted by another am i are we we're working under the operator the the understanding that i'm helicopter yeah you well you've got we'll work under the banana peel theory where you have 1010 fucking crime gadgets in your body 13 000 crime gadgets in your body right now because you fell down the stairs after slipping on a banana you were like i'll see you later gang have a great evening uh actually quite plausible for me uh i'm extremely

uncoordinated okay so my issue is that my word jumbling is always like, it's like the word is kind of one or two steps removed from the thing I'm going for. So, like, I'll mess up someone's name, like a boy's name, you know, a friend because there's another, like, you know, I might call Jackson douche or, like, you know, I'll do that. Sure, sure, sure. Or, like, I don't know what the thing is

so i can't my memory recalls really bad so i'll be trying to describe something like it would be like go go gadget uh the uh so the it's like it can't so it's spinning it's like but the you know the thing with that it sounds so dangerous to just say gibberish after saying go get gadgets. Yeah, and my entire body would just explode at that point. What did you want? I was trying to get the propeller out of my head. All 13,000 gadgets activated at the same time. Yeah.

Ending life on Earth. Yeah. 100%. I'm worse than global warming. Yeah, that's what people will say. Something to say. 100% I'm worse than global warming Yeah that's what people will say Yeah I've heard things about global warming And none of them particularly good I know

I am terrible I'm trying to think what I would use right Like I guess to get around I might go Go go gadget rocket skates or something Because I know that I'll be quicker I can go to the shop and get a Me pie quicker or whatever you know He's inventing gadgets I guess that's allowed or something because i know that that can i'll be quicker i can go to the shop and get a meat pie quicker or whatever you know inventing gadgets i guess that's allowed rocket skates is a classic

gadget if i've got this many gadgets in me i'm gonna be taking punts and just to see go go gadget bowl of soup let's see if it's a cold day. I would not eat anything that came out of my horrible robot body. My hand becoming a bowl and my other hand becoming a nozzle. Yeah, the amount of days you would just spend alone in a room being like, go, go, gadget, ATM machine, and then just sitting in silence for a few minutes. I thought you were going to say, go, go, gadget, $80. That's smarter.

Is that smarter? Well, because an ATM machine has to be filled up. I'm saying ATM machine. That's really annoying that I've done that. That's humiliating. That's really embarrassing. You'll become an ATM machine. That's what I'll have you say like that.

Automatic transaction machine machine. Yeah. What I'm asking for there is a machine that makes ATMs. Yeah. Yeah, it's clever. There you go. You saved it. Well done.

Smart. It's like wishing for more wishes. Yeah. Yeah, that's like saying go-go gadget gadgets. Yeah. Oh, no. Get more. Well, what about you dusha what would you would you be using it if you were inspecting gadget like what would you be trying to get out

i think what i would probably do to make my life worthwhile is i mean first of all try and figure out if i've got any gadgets that actually improve my quality of living based on inspector gadget almost certainly no like what what's going to improve your quality of living that comes in gadget form probably an atm machine okay so we're all trying to get money out of our new horrible monster bodies i want reparation like i want money yeah yeah yeah or maybe i could probably try and figure out because the money thing is clever so what if i i'd probably try and figure out if there was some thing is clever. So what if I, I'd probably try and figure out if there was some way, because I mean,

obviously at this point, I'm probably more machine than man. Yeah. If I could find some way to upload information directly into myself, use that to get really good at law, sue whoever did this to me, get heaps of money. That's clever.

Go get gadget USB, plug yourself into the computer with your finger. I would, okay slot appeared in my forehead i'd be like sweet that goes straight to where my brain is but if it opened in like my chest i'd be like i don't know what this is yeah i don't want to download something onto my heart just like why why do we keep putting usb ports in the back of computers like yeah it's like uh i, it's fine. That's not where I am. It's just really annoying to get to. But I really want to push. I just want to make beats. So I'd say that, go-go gadget push, see if I can get a,

it's a little beat maker, see if I can make some music. Why not? Go-go gadget, yeah, drum kit. Maybe not a whole drum kit. I don't know why I'm imagining you throwing it up for some reason. Yeah, drum kit. Maybe not a whole drum kit. I don't know why I imagine you're throwing it up for some reason. Yeah, what? Throwing up a little tambourine. Yeah, sick.

Great. Yeah. But remember, it all has to go back in. There's a crank to crank the drum set back into your mouth. So many goddamn cranks. God damn it. So you're saying that you can plug yourself into the computer but if it's in your chest like a lot of things yeah but if so i'm imagining you like plug the

computer into your chest and under your computer like my computer on your computer is like the two files and then hot as a folder would you would you drag stuff in i think i would just i would plug it in i'd look at the computer see that that's happened I think I would just... I would plug it in, I'd look at the computer, see that that's happened, and then I would just see what happened if I dragged, like, Safari, like, the browser into my... It's like just brain, you're like, oh, a way out. You just drag it into the recycle bin. Die. Perfect. Not even a search engine, just a browser.

Yeah, yeah. How am I meant to put a fucking... A search engine is not a file. A browser's a file. But a browser's just the thing that gets you to the... Yeah. What do you mean? You don't need a browser.

What do you mean? There's no information in the browser. I'm going to browse all the information don't need a browser. What do you mean? There's no information in the browser. I'm going to browse all the information I have without a browser. I can't with you. You can't what? Sorry, Lena. You can't browse. I can't browse.

No, but I've got the browser. I also said I can't with you. I don't know enough. I'm being sassy and I don't know. Sassy about what? Someone will write in and say Lena's wrong. Lena's absolutely wrong, Plum and Yas. This is embarrassing.

John Dusha can drag a browser into his brain. He can surf the web and learn how to be a good lawyer. Lena should be embarrassed. Yeah. John Dusha is actually the cleverest member. Okay. He's bang on on you're making this one for a ride doucher do it well because what i keep thinking is that i think i get lazy right

like i was just thinking dan for breakfast this morning i had a banana and if i was go-go gadget i would be like go-go gadget peel this banana i would stop doing stuff for myself go go gadget bathe me that's not a gadget that's not a gadget the trick there is that you're saying so you gotta remember it's a go-go perfect yeah thank you if you said go go peel the banana i believe but because gadget is the keyword so i could just say go go peel the banana no you can't i'm saying you need a gadget that peels the banana okay banana peeler then fine what you're demanding in all these situations so far has been actions that aren't gadgets why can't my buddy figure it out fuck well jackson also if it does how is that any less energy than if you just did it because i'm not not doing it. You're still using the same fucking arms.

My body's doing it. Yeah. Jackson, what do you mean? Your brain's not physically moving your, like, your brain doesn't get the fatigue from thinking about moving your arms, but your arms still get tired. But it's not my conscious decision anymore, you know? Oh, yeah.

You're fucking stupid. You're fucking stupid. decision anymore you know yeah we were bottomized but like yeah yeah you i think you might you might i'm just want you to consider the idea that you might be misunderstanding what a gadget is yeah what if i what if i went go-go gadget banana peel or that that's a gadget even though there is no gadget out there that can peel a banana designed solely for peeling a banana. Great news for you. Do you know what would happen? Nothing.

That would be another empty 30 seconds after moment. Just staring at a banana in the fruit bowl. Go go gadget, peel this banana! Go go gadget, peel this banana! I'm in tears at the kitchen table because it's not working. 13,000 Gadgets. And not one of them will peel this banana.

You just go and put yourself to bed having not eaten. I'll try again tomorrow, I guess. Like we made a bionic man and he hasn't left the house in weeks. You get a fine crime, Jackson? Yeah. Also, like, I think he might have starved to death. That should be impossible. He doesn't even have a stomach.

He has an oven in him. He can make his own food. He can make a whole roast chicken inside him if he wants yeah i'm just filthy inside my house staring at a severely rotted banana at this point yeah they should really put me down and try again at that point maybe we should put some of his brain back in it's fucked up to imagine they just have it in a jar. We kept it, so put it back in, see what happens. Some guys like crouched over the jar like halfway through eating it. He's like, oh, you wanted this?

Oh, shit. Well, the good news is, yeah, there's some left. And half a brain is probably better than none of brains. That's more than he has now. Why can't I peel this banana? Really, really, maybe we need to write on his walls the difference between an action and a gadget. I thought he would just get it,

but he really just can't seem to comprehend it. He wakes up, gets out of bed, walks downstairs and into the kitchen and doesn't think about it. But then when we put a banana in front of him, he doesn't simply just use his hands. Yeah, for some reason that's not working. Let's put the brain back in it. But I got propeller in my head, oven in my stomach. They got to put it in one of my calves or whatever.

Put my brain in my foot. Then I just stub my toe and die. That's how I end. Well, this worked. It's a horrible life, but in some ways tragedy means that I'm kind of glad he's dead. In a way, this was a Darwinian death. What do you mean we put his brain in his foot?

Darwinian, Darwinian. This is entirely on us, you understand? Well, survival of the fittest, I guess. What do you mean? What are you saying? I remember when you put it in there and I asked you if this was safe. You said, yes, unless he stubs his toe. And I said, is that not like a likely possibility?

Look at this fucking guy. He probably stubs his toe three to four times a day. I love the idea of scientists, like, washing their hands of it and being like, well, you know, that's the circle of life. And it's like, you made a robot man. You did this to this person. You are directly responsible for inspecting gadgets. You know, it's just like those ducks that evolve different bills

so they can eat in different areas, I guess. It's like, you built it. He couldn't hack it, I guess. He just couldn't hack it. That's all wrong. Nothing could be done. He put his brain in his foot, which he stands on. That was a design flaw

that was not the final and finest moment Every time he took a step his face contorted as his brain got squished He screamed every time he put his shoes on This was an inevitability

if you understand As he stubbed his toe, he screamed, I feel everything at once. Evolution, baby. Yeah, wow. It comes for all of us. The cosmic dance. Wow.

I guess there was nothing we could do about that. So I think when it comes down to it, and after all of the deep diving and explanation We've done today Does Inspector Gadget live a worthwhile life? No Not at all Not even close

I think mostly chiefly because he was built For comedy Yeah His life is a joke Yeah Absolutely Yeah There's no way to live

No And that's why I'm quitting comedy No Oh my god Huge announcement A Lena Moon exclusive Please Don't believe that

It's all I have And on that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson I've been Lena And Lena Where can we find you? Oh

Um So I'm in a comedy duo Called Annieie and lena please follow us on instagram and you'll find my instagram there too but uh also follow me on twitch if you like twitch i like it i'm good and lena what would your twitch address be if someone wanted to find yeah uh it's twitch.tv slash lena moon underscore. And we'll put that in the show notes too

so you can just simply click. Yeah, just have a little clickeroo. Technology. Perfect ending. Hey, dickhead. Are you thirsty for more Sandspants? Let us shoot our long, hot ropes of content right into your gaping ear holes.

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