Plumbing the Death Star - Does The Gambler In Kenny Rogers' 'The Gambler' Give You Good Advice?

Episode Date: September 7, 2025

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I'm Joel I'm Jackson and I'm also Joel Plumming the Nestle is a comedy pop caution podcast and ask the important questions and Jackson I'll let you take this one away because this is your question has this been burning a hole in his brain yeah he's so excited to talk about it until we started introducing the episode then he got scared yeah because Jackson take it away what's today's topic because I said before we start recording what's today's topic Okay, does the gambler and Kenny Rogers the gambler give you good advice?

No, next question. Because before we started recording, I said, hey... Actually, no, you know what? Yes. He does give them advice. Okay. Now a debate between Dujo five seconds ago. And do you now.

No is the answer to if that was a good question. Yes, is the answer to if it's good advice. But please talk us through your feelings to why you want to get to the bottom of this. Well, my reading of the gambler's lyric. I would love... Now, I'm going to stop jumping down your throat after this sentence, I promise.

I don't believe that. I promise. You haven't finished, like, you haven't fully finished a sentence yet. Yeah, I think you've been... Your throat has been jumped down maybe six times. Yeah, dude. And I'm going to stop doing it after this. Okay. Please include the example

lyric that you had that was like really The one that was really driving a hole in my brain So in the song The Gambler Is a story about a man at a train Who meets another man Who says oh let me give me some of your whiskey I'll give you some advice And his advice to my eyes

Is just like What he says is you've got to know where to hold them And know when to follow them Yeah now to me That is obvious advice that's not profound I mean that's nothing

that's like if you said hey Jackson can you give me some advice for playing basketball and I was like you gotta know when you gotta get it in the net

well there's like yeah fucking no dude that's basketball so no one to hold it no one to follow it's basically just akin to to being like

don't send don't send good money after bad it's basically a very that's a way of saying that's nothing new Jackson if I said hey that's just life advice

got a bit of life advice for you and using your basketball analogy hey no one to shoot and no one to pass. Yeah. Duh.

Yeah, but that's... But you've heard of the Sun Kost's fallacy, right? Yeah? Yeah, that... This guy has not given me enough good advice for me to be satisfied with the amount of whiskey I gave him

and then now he's also dead and I have to deal with that, dude? Well, okay, let's go back to the advice. Yeah. Because the advice is basically talking about, you know, it's a very simplified version about the Sun Kostalance. It's just that in a sense of like,

well, like, what is the Sun-Cost fallacy, right? You're like, oh, well, see, people tend to kind of keep sending good money after bad. So they make a bad decision, and they're like, well, I can get out of this. Kind of like, you know, okay, so say you're in your mid-20s and you're about to be made redundant or fired from, say, you're a very good, cushy university job. Yes, yes, yeah. And you're like, well, I'm starting, you know, I've started a podcast company.

Sandpanth Radio, maybe could be the name of it. Yeah, and so what if we just kept, you know, well, what if we just put all my eggs into this basket. And, you know, so, you know, the money that I got out, like, you know, like the money that I earned, you know, in the university, the payouts, et cetera, et cetera. Well, I just put that into, like, you know, mics and, like, tech and all those kind of things. The equipment that you need to run a podcast studio. And being like, well, this is my career now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know. I think starting a podcast network is the sunk cost fallacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so putting good money after bad. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. So that's my point. Yeah. So yeah. And so say

something like that. And then it's like, well, you. You know, you need to know when to hold them. Do you think if you've been on a train? Yeah. And a guy had said, give me some of your whiskey. I'll give you some of your whiskey. And they said, you're going to know when to hold them, no when to fold them, no when to walk away, no one to run. It's 2016.

Yeah. Yeah. You've called up everyone that works at St. It's radio and said, you're fired. Any other thing we're doing? We're not. Call it now. Yeah.

You know? We try. We're all young enough that we can pivot into actual jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The world is about to get worse at our podcast, something we're going to add to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that, you know, because we were, for those who don't know, when we first started out, we were a university club, basically.

That's true. University sort of extra cricket thing. And it was very early on when I'm like, well, trying to, like, you know, research, what the fuck is an RSS feed? I don't know. How does a podcast not look at you. And then this was like, oh, we'll do a SoundCloud. SoundCloud seems to be what we're doing because you can, like, you know,

there's X many hours and you can kind of do a bunch of different RSS fees, et cetera. And it's going to cost something like 600 euro. Yeah. So if we all just put in, I want to say it was, anywhere between, was it 25 or $50? Oh, it might have been actually $20. I think it was 20. I think it was $20, dude.

I believe it was $20 and you were putting in $50. Yeah, so if we're, you know, we all put in $20, that just covers that for like, you know, the year, basically. And one person went, no, no, no, I'm out. That he, that person, he knew when to fold them. That's true. That person is now living. I would love, I don't really remember who they were. but I would love to track them down.

What's been multiple people? We lost entire shows that that was like. Yeah. No, we did. No, that was like much later. But that was a one person... It happened twice? Well, no, they were just like...

We just lost shows. Do you remember that girl that was like, I'm going to do a surfing podcast? She was there for one meeting. There was one person. Bring her back. They were like, oh, I want to do like a music podcast. And I'm going to interview a band. And I'm like, that's great.

How many, like, you know, okay, how many people in the band? They're like, eight. And I went, okay. We don't have that many microphones. Oh, no, we did. It's in a proper studio. And I was like, you sure? All eight?

And they went, yeah. And I went, okay. And I set it up. Because at the room of the time, we weren't really like, you know, this voice, what you see before you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were doing. It was, I was a university teacher. So it was very much a like, well, hey, this is a very fun learning experience because I could tell them, hey. That's too many guys.

First off, it's going to be confusing. Second, you're going to dream. That's nine voices. you understand. So it's going to be very muddied in the edit. And also it's going to be very confusing for yourself trying to like, you know. And look, again, I think that was probably a very good learning experience. Yeah.

Because after that, it went nowhere. Yeah. See? No, they knew when to fall. Yeah, that's true. They knew when to walk away. That's pretty good advice. But do you think it's enough?

So, have you, when you picked this topic, and this is something I need to ask. I know I was getting, I want to say, listen. No, that's not the question. this, I said, we, I brought up, I was like, what about this for a topic? And the boy said, you're an idiot, go to hell, fuck you, I hope you die, shut up. Zammuk kicked me in the legs.

They just slapped me about the face. I said, you're lucky, you don't have a dog because I'd go put it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I said, okay, maybe we don't have to do this one because I'm just going to get yelled at it. And they said, no, no, no. And then we started recording, and now here I am.

Well, funny for my fucking life. No, you pitched it a couple of weeks ago. We gave you kind of nothing. And then you pushed it. You said, let me find exactly what you. you said. Let me find exactly your reply. And now the people will see who the real idiot is. And then

I want you to, okay, so when you find my reply I want you to talk about what happens in the conversation after that and how often I bring up the gamble off from that point onwards. Here's the conversation. Okay. So do show references the fact that in an episode of the weekly planet they are playing Austin Powers music off their phone.

Okay? I say ha ha ha ha. That's a good bit. It was a good bit. Shout out to James and Mason. We should do a plumbing on Kenny Rogers, the gambler. Is that worthwhile advice, the gambler? Zammat, Adusha then asks if Studio B will be out of action the following week.

Oh, okay, so I'm very excited about this topic. Then, also, yeah, let's do an episode about the gambler. So that's me. J.D. That was JD. And then I pitch in. Zammett's the next message from Zammett? Nope.

The carpet is being ripped. then there's a lot I'll tell you what a lot of admin about trying to figure out one to record because our studio is and then I will say I will admit it's never brought up again and then in real life yeah last week you said I've been thinking about how like you said exactly what you did at the start of this episode you said they went to hold him went to fault him that's just poker that's not good advice yeah and then he did it again just before and I was like no okay let's do the episode because what you said you looked at the lyrics yeah have you looked at the lyrics yes you got to know when to hold them

no one to fold them no one to walk away no when to run yeah never count your money when you're sitting at the table there'll be time enough for counting when the dealin's done that is the chorus

have you looked at the lyrics outside of the chorus which bits any at this point son I've made a life out of reading people's faces and knowing what their cards

were by the way they held their eyes So if you don't mind me saying, I can see you're out of aces for a taste of whiskey. I'll give you some advice. So he's already talking in poker analogies straight off the bell. And then it makes it. The whole song makes sense. Like, yeah, all advice is obvious.

I don't think that's true. Hey, what do you mean? Invest in good stocks. Yeah, that's not useful advice. What kind of advice would you, what do you think? I mean, no one's ever given you useful. If I had just, if I'm sitting at a train. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's good advice? Just one bit of good advice. I'm on a train. Yeah. I got a good bottle of whiskey. Yeah. And I clearly have got no aces in my eyes or whatever the lyric is. And you like, oh, give me some whiskey and I'll give you some advice.

I go, no worries. I pour you a shot. I pour myself a shot. And we cheers. What is your advice to me? My advice would be this. Okay, when you cook a chicken. Yeah.

Okay. I like a chicken brush in a steel pan. Okay. Don't waste the fond at the end. Put a bit of butter. and a bit of stock in there. And scrape it up. You'll make a delicious pan sauce.

You best want to advise. That's actionable advice. You can take that away. That's a recipe. No. That's a tip. Yeah. That's a cooking tip.

That's advice. No. Yes. No. Hey. If I was like, hey, I need advice on how to cook a chookin. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

We just move it on from Mr. Chookin over there. I like saying chookin over there. I like saying chookin. It's fun. Oh, okay. It was intentional fuck up too. I'm sad. Sorry, boys.

Yeah, I'm sorry, man Sometimes it's good to say things wrong Yeah, I guess I just think if I was on the train Yeah, I'm getting off the train What is good advice? I'm watching the gamble on the window Okay, hey you give me that chicken advice

Okay, and I'm like, can't, I'm a chef I know this Well, I didn't know that Well, that's pointless advice Spit out that whiskey Yeah, give it back I'm beating it out of you Give it back

If I'm pressing that out On the train, please this man is threatening me Also I'm like, okay Yeah All right. Maybe it's a metaphor. Maybe this chicken bullshit's a metaphor. But it's even less helpful. No, because Jackson's good advice can't be a metaphor or an analogy because that's what he hates. Yeah. Because the gambler actually does give really good advice. According to a piece of shit website, Google, do you know what the most famous good advice is? What's that, dude? Be kind. Yeah. That's it.

That's more actionable than what the gambler's giving. What the gamble is saying is way more detailed and helpful than that. He's saying... It's pretty, like, again, you're using metaphorical, like, advice there. You fucking read books. Robynick's not about a man trying to kill a whale. If I was on the train, the gambler's dead at the window.

I'm watching the train go away. I should tell someone about that. His death is also poignant. He died? In what way? In what way is the gambler's death poignant in Kenny Rogers to gamble? He says, hey,

every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser and the best you can hope for us to die your sleep. That's crazy that he then dies in his sleep. Yeah, but that's crazy. It's emphasizing such great advice to die in your sleep. He says, hey,

life sucks and in the end, we all go to hell and the best thing you can hope for. Life sucks, but life is good, but anyway, hey, I want to die in my sleep. Yeah, and then he fucking does. The moment he says, and the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep and then he falls asleep against the window, I'm like, I don't wake this man up

because he's about to die in his sleep. Also, in the gambler, Kenny Rogers acknowledges that it's good advice, like, the character that gets told the advice is like sees the man dying, is like, fuck, that was good advice. Well, he's an idiot. To my mind, he's an idiot. I just don't see why it is

bad advice. It is, it is general advice, but it is, it's seen as, I mean, it is basically being like, hey, man, you've got to take stock of your life, know when you're making bad decisions. What do we think about that? It's good advice, what do you, what are you, what? It's even, it's even better advice. That's what I mean. It's not, we're not bad advice.

It's just worthwhile, worthless advice. It's not... You're just going to pick a stance until this song stinks. Here's what we have to do an episode. So we're going to remember that, boys. We're like, what, 20 minutes? Well, then it's basically the fucking episode.

If I fold, imagine a world, let's peel the curtain back. Imagine a world where I fold on this. I go, oh, fuck, you're right. What do we do? What do we do? There's heaps of fivots. Then we can go into a ring.

You want to peel. You want to talk meta? Meta plumbing the death star? You say, oh, fuck, and you're honest for the first time you're goddamn life. And you go, you know what? Now that I've been pointed out the biggest scope of the lyrics, that is good advice. And then we could, okay, couple of things. We could try and figure out what songs are bad advice. We could say, would it be funny if the gambler picked a different game. Hey, roulette, where's the ball or whatever? Is that good advice? Or he starts talking about monopoly. You'd be like, all right, well, let's pivot there. I just, yeah, I didn't

want to jump down your throat, Jack, because honestly look, you're competent. And you make it hard sometimes, it's hard to be your friend. You have no restraint. Someone has to do it. Because if I step back, then no one's doing it, and you're not a man that deserves to walk around life with no one jumping down your throat. So I'm like, look, like, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, let's give you, like, hey, let's give you an inch and you take a mile. Yeah. Well, why would you give me the inch?

Exactly. If you're going to give me, the inch, dude. I'm going to keep pulling. But, yeah, bro, it's just like, clearly it's obviously I understand on a broad level, okay, let's peel back the sausage as they say. On a broader level? Of course. Of course,

you know, it's life advice, it's valuable, but I thought it was funny. There's a bit of poker advice. To me, it just seems like you're explaining how poker works. Now, now you're using meta to change the fucking goalpost. Because that's not how you felt before we started hitting record. That's true. You're

full of shit. You're trying to turn the audience on us. I'm just trying I'm going to kill you. Just trying to steer the ship somehow. He tried to steer it in a way that I don't respect. I know, but the moment he puts his hand on the yoke of the boat, you don't respect

that. He'll stop. That's the problem. The moment he goes, I never actually thought it was bad advice, I just wanted to do a fun little podcast where I would I would pretend that it's... Why don't pretend it's good advice? I was trying.

I was doing my best. Okay, so again, we'll go with... Okay, so again, it's the... Right, so the advice the person gives. Yes. It's, yeah, sure, it's generic advice, and yeah, it is the rules of poker, but it's a bit more in-depth,

it's basically your tips of playing poker kind of stuff. Because if for someone who's never played poker before, you're kind of like, okay, okay, okay, I need to pay more attention So you'd think if you went after this, you went to a poker game. Let's go. I've never played poker in my life. I'm like, I am stupid. You've never played poker in your life, and you think somebody's saying you're going to know when to fold them.

Nobody to hold them is worthwhile advice. I'm a very stupid man. Okay. I have whiskey. And I'm like, oh, give me some advice. I'm going to scam this guy out of some whiskey. So he gives me this advice and I'm too stupid to realize it's a metaphor. So give me the, again, give me the lyrics.

You got to know when to hold them. Yeah. You got to know when to fold them. You've got to know when to walk away. Yeah. You've got to know when to run. Uh-huh. Hey, you know what?

He's missed a bit because there's the intro to that. Because what other, like, poker advice is giving me? He's straightaway, the lead-in to the advice is, if you're going to play the game boy, you've got to learn to play it right. Okay, okay. You need to learn. You've got to know where to hold them. I'll sit down and listen, yeah.

You've got to know when to fold them. Yeah. You've got to know when to walk away and know when to run. Never count your money where you sit in the table. because there'll be time enough for counting when the dealings done. Okay, okay, okay. So I've got to like, all right.

All right, so don't worry about, like, you know, the money at the table if I'm like, you know, either losing or winning or whatever because I need to just focus on the game itself. Yeah. And I got to know, you know, hey, like, when am I having a good hand? When I'm going to have a bad hand, all this kind of stuff. All right, okay, this is pretty decent general advice about playing poker. I'm very intrigued by the line you've got to know when to walk away and know when to run.

Well, does he mean like, sometimes you've got to be like, you know what? I'm going to fold, okay, I'm not winning this round. It's not, you're going to be like, I'm going to get out of here. Well, I think that one is like, okay, I've learned how to count cards, and I can see the security over there. They're going to come and break my leg. So I need to just grab my chips and Ibar. Goodbye, everybody. And I'm going to get the hell out of thoughts.

Hey, thanks so much for having me. Good night. And then I will say the gambler repeats his advice, too. He says, you know where to hold him, and then he says the same advice again the second time where he says, every gambler knows the secret to survive and no one to throw away, no one what to keep. That's the same advice. The gamble up. Well, the thing is, when it comes to, like, you know, advice,

and actionable here, advice here, is when you're often doing something that you want people to pay attention to, you've got to say it, like, three times. So initially you hear you're saying the same thing, like you say it once, and then you're going to say it and then usually, by the third time you say it,

it generally sticks in people's brain. Henceway, it's like, hey, if you want to send us, like, you know, an email, you go here and you repeat it three times. You want to send us, you repeat things three times. That's the kind of, you repeats it twice. It's up there then. While you walked away.

Actually, no, here's the thing. dies. He doesn't repeat it. The second chorus is after he dies. He's half as I think. So it's not him giving that advice. But in his final words, I found an ace I could keep, and then he thinks about what just was said to him.

Because the advice is actually the last thing the gambler says, and then he dies. So wait, no, the chorus is him talking. The gambler talking, right? Chorus happens. Verse four. Verse four, he has lines, because every hands

That's what I mean, verse four is a repeat of the last, yeah. He goes, you go to nowhere to hold him, no way to fold him. No, the court. Right. It goes verse three. Yeah. This is good. This is good podcasting.

Oh, yeah. Verse three. Yeah. You're going to play the game boy. You've got to learn to play it right. Useless advice. It means nothing, but go on. Chorus.

Uh-huh. Verse four after the chorus. Yeah. Every gambler knows that the secret to survive and is knowing what to throw away, knowing what to keep, because every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser and the best you can hope for to die in your sleep. Verse 4. Yeah.

He dies. Yeah. Verse 5, not a chorus. No, I know. Corrus doesn't happen until after verse 5, where he's dead. Corrus happens before verse 4.

You son of my bitch. Maybe Jackson was right and that we shouldn't have recorded this. Maybe this was one of those bad ones. I'm pretty sure, like, last week when I was like, we should record an episode of plumbing and I was like, what we should do?

I'm like, we should do one of them good ones? Yeah. didn't do one of them good ones. Oh yeah, you said... I said, hey, we should do one of them good ones. Well, we did. Because the most free... The episode we were going on up and that was correct.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were right. When you told me that there's nothing to this episode, I said, okay, we could do something else. Are you both said, no, no, no, no, no. Because in your mad brains, you thought, oh, it's like an hour of yelling at Jackson in this. Clearly not.

No, I don't know there's much here, boys. Not going to lie. I think this is a... Okay. Well, hey, I just think this is a very simple thing of, like, The advice here is, it's simple but it is like, you know, it can be poignant and it is kind of like, like with most

advice that is also metaphorical. It's you take what you want out of it. Yes. Hey, no one to walk, no one to run. It's time to do a different episode, mid-episode. What if the Joker was the mayor of... Go on. What's a good episode? Great question. What is a good episode?

Perfect question. Okay. All right. What is it? The most minor episode of Poppy than that start? We asked the very important question. What makes a good episode? Okay, okay. Organic riffs, which were often a really bad start with.

I'm going to be like organic riffs. Yeah. I think that's really good. Like, often when we're like, you know. Memorable? Memorable? I think the premise, I think the premise doesn't have to be good to get a good episode. That's true.

I don't think you need to have a winning, the episode question doesn't need to be funny. That's true. To have a good episode. But it obviously needs to be. How about this? It needs to be interesting. How about this? It does.

It needs to be interesting. But what about, instead of going from like, okay, what makes a good episode, well, that's, again, it's very much like,

you know, maybe it's a bit, but it's hard to cut pin down right now. But what is a bad episode? Oh. So I think a bad episode is one, and we learned this lesson very early on.

A bad episode is one where the answer is yes or no. Yeah. How do we open this episode? Now, I'm pretty sure if certain Dusha went both. Yes. I bet no.

I went no. No, no, then yes. No, then yes. So, I've done that before. I will say. We've done that before and it's been fine because then we expanded it. The problem is that we expanded it, which then led straight back to the yes, it is good at work. Well, the thing is, when those things, after we already learned that lesson,

usually we're like, well, this is a yes or no question, but there's enough there that we can expand that and we give reasons why. Yeah. This was not that episode. No, no, no, no, and I'm mad at Jackson episode. Which is a shame because often being mad at me leaves for a great house. Like the problem with the gambler. Yeah, please. I was familiar with the whole song

where you'd really latched on to the chorus. Well, I think what happened here, and it's good to dissect the episode. This is sort of episode orthopsy. This is the talking, plumbing the death stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plumbing, plumbing the death star. Plumbing, plumbing the death star.

Okay, here's what I think happened, is that I had a riff in mind. Oh, no! Which is always a mistake. Which is always a mistake. Especially for JD. Yeah, because I thought, I thought you were going to follow me down the riff of, well, let's imagine this advice.

Oh, maybe, you know, obviously it's a metaphor, but maybe it's a bit of poker advice. It's kind of empty. It's kind of meaningless. I thought we'd also find it funny that he dies in his sleep. That's up our alley. A guy saying, the only thing that you can count is dying in your sleep and then dying in his sleep. That's funny. Well, should we try again?

Right? Hey, you know, it's like when you know when to hold him, no one to hold him, good money off. well maybe we're about to me big we should walk away good rifts off the bat well I mean we've tried

uh huh maybe maybe it is bad because this will prove that it's bad advice if we can do it again now real quick and just save the episode

okay okay let's go okay all right hi everyone we'll try from the top from the top

and then if this goes good then the advice was bad and I was wrong And then Jackson was right. And Jackson was right. But then if this last part sucks, Joel Zama was right, the gambler was right, and I should die in my sleep. Okay, okay. Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumby the Death Star Opelny Cup.

I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also, Charles. And today we're asking the question, is the advice the gambler gives in the Kenny Rogers song The Gambler good advice? Okay, so the advice of the gambler gives, because he's a guy's on a train, he's got some whiskey. He's an old drunk, maybe. And he's just like, oh, you've got some whiskey.

Can I have some whiskey, dude? Can I have some whiskey? I'll give you some advice, which is never good. Nobody should, any reason that I'll give you some advice. It's akin to when someone's like, you know, it's like, hey, I have no money. I want to drink, but I got any money. But can I pay for this in a poem? Yeah, exactly.

I pay for this in a song. Can I pay for this in a, yeah. And I want to die. that? Yeah, I've seen it happen in real life, dude. If someone said I'd pay for this with a poem... I saw somebody, it worked. And then the person...

I'd probably give them my phone. Here you go. Do you want my phone at pants? I saw somebody he says, somebody I know they paid for a drink with a poem and then... Wait, paid a bar. Yeah.

That's fucked off. But here the whole story, because then we went back like two months later and we were like, where's that guy that we paid with a poem? And the guy at the bar said, he's been fired. And I hope that was the reason.

You know what? Like, if I'm working at a bar and I am not the bar owner and I do not care. Yeah, whatever. Hey, with a button, I don't give a chance. If I'm about to be fired for other things.

Respectfully to the arts. If someone tried to pay me with a poem at a bar I worked out, I'd be charging them double or alternatively giving them a fake drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Charging them double as in two poems. Two poems, thank you very much.

There's a drink, that'll be two poems, Idiot. Yeah. Got you, yeah, got your house. At one point is the amount of poems like worth worth a drink? Yeah, so like, if you do so an hour of... I guess it would be however many poems you can do in it. You know what I mean?

Someone gave me a full poem book that they'd written, like even just like a little journal, provided it wasn't just loose sheets of paper. Yeah. That's probably worth one drink. Yeah, I would say that's fair. Like a small poem booklet. Printed or they wrote all things by hand?

They're having to write it. I mean, look, I like the aesthetic of, an absolute lunatics journal Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So if someone handed that over I'm like, I'm gonna read this and either it's gonna be deeply upsetting because it's depressing

but in a damn, they thought this was in sightful way or this is gonna be a crazy read and it's gonna be depressing It's gonna be like a manifesto Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, I'm gonna find out that there's bombs scattered throughout the city

and Project mayhem's happening. Oh no, then you got some onus to do something about the bombs too. If you've got to decode Look, this could be controversial, But I think that if, like, like, are you equally responsible for the Zodiac killings if you get given a, given a Zodiac puzzle? If the Zodiac... Am I given the Zodiac puzzle or am I given the Zodiac cipher?

If the Zodiac cipher, that is a little bit on me to not do something. The Zodiac Keller gives you his cypher in exchange for a drink. Okay. And then you don't know what it is. Okay. This seems scary. What are they, what do they say when they're like, can I come, can I please pay for a drink in a cypher? And I'm like, okay.

What? Or like, can I pay for like in a poem? Yeah. They hand me a cipher. And I'm like, the fuck is this. What if, okay, what if I said? I am the Zodiac killer. Here is my cypah.

That's a little different. I'm going to be like, sure, here's a drink. Here's the key to the bar. I have to go now. You stay where I can see you. Don't fall on me. I'd be like, what's the Zodiac killers? murder style

he did many different murders that's what makes him so crazy it's also like one of the theories that maybe it wasn't one guy yeah there was no Zodiac killer except that guy I believe the five guys they killed guys and then they made burgers

I used peanut oil I choose to believe that the Zodiac killer was that guy that was posting on IMDB being like this movie stinks me too dude that's my my beliefs as well because I've killed heaps of guys and I would never kill a guy this style I don't know what I'd do if I was at a bar and somebody is like,

here's my sci-for, I'm the Zodiac Killer, and then took the drink and just started heading off into the crowd. Because, like, I don't know if I believed them. The onus, I guess, is on the leader. Yeah. I think that I'd, um... Get my fingerprints on every page. I feel at that point it'd be making kind of like a mental note of like,

okay, what is the time? Do we have security cameras? Just in cases? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just like, just make sure that we just don't delete that 40s and just have it there. And then maybe like, okay, Whoms do I go to for like, hey, a random person of the bar gave me this thing.

They said that it was like the Zodiac Cyphor. I guess I would post it to Reddit. Yeah. And like, see, and then someone... Watching it get downvoted into oblivion. Yeah, but the Zodiac Killer was operating in like the 1960s. Well, yeah. An old, old man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, oh, hey, my dad was a Zodiac Killer here. You should tell someone about that. I'm coming you. Give me a drink. I'm a bartender. Give it a drink, for you want the fame? Yeah.

Yeah, obviously, I want the fame. Yeah, kiss. Do you think if you met the son of the Zodiac killer, you'd be a bit scared he was also a serial killer? Like, if the son of the Zodiac killer, they'd give you the drink, and then you're wrapping up at the bar and they're like, I'll give you a drive home. Oh, yeah, no, yes, I would have think I'm going to get murdered, of course.

I think it runs in its genetic. Murder's genetic. Murder's genetic, son of Sam, Sam. Yeah, famous screw killer Sam. Dad of Sam. Dad of Sam, yeah, yeah. Dog of Sam. He was the guy who had a dog that talked to him.

That son of Sam. Dogs aren't genetically related to you. This dog was. Oh, that's sad. That is sad. Also, wasn't that just like he was a lie? As in like, I'm just bullshitting just because they don't get like, you plead and sound.

It might have been. Anyway, yeah, if the Zodiac Killer said, I'm going to, I'd like to pay with the journal and they gave you that and the cipher was in that. I reckon you were in the clear if they said, hey, he's my cipher. Yeah. And then did nothing with it, not in the cleop. Yeah. Well, but I mean, the only thing you'd be finding is your own conscience.

Well, that's true. If someone gave me like a, you know, like a psychotic journal and like, yeah, you'd be like, oh, yeah, whatever. I would maybe show my good friends. And like, if I'm showing enough people and they were like, hang a second, who gave this to you? And I'm like, what do you mean? Some guy.

And then they're like, this is. Zane Odiag. You know. Dr. Zane Odiya. Because like, yeah, if you don't know much about this, Zodiac Killer. Like you would just think this is a crazy person game with this journal. And you're not adding one and one together here. Whereas

there's someone who's like, dude, that is like those very similar to the Zodiac like the writing's there. Then you'd look at them and be like, oh shit. Give it to a newspaper or something. Well, you know, you'd try and be like okay, cool. I'll wear it Australia so it would be hard to.

Oh, you were here. You ain't the baby. I figured it out. So yeah. The Dingo. comes in and gives you a manifesto, you're like, fuck. Fuck, dude. Can we send the dingo to jail?

And if I anything to know about, like, you know, dingoes is that those dingoes babies will also pursue your killers. They're going to eat other babies' babies. Yeah. I've got to eat the dingo's babies before they can eat another human baby. I'm the smartest man alive. I just finished work. You would not believe.

A stingray came in and paid with his manifesto to kill Steve Irwin. It was crazy. He's... What? Are we hung well? Yes. We deeply, dude. Deeply.

We have really lost the plot. I think I would... Wait, are we met up plumbing now? No, no, no, no. Do I still work in a bar? I'm confused, dear. I'm thinking about if I was... Is this in the riff?

Are we out of the rift? No, no, I was in the rift. Oh, I'm sorry. This is a looser ship with my say on, boys. I keep thinking if I was a serial killer. Because, you know, we don't give serial killers names anymore. Like, we stop because we did.

Well, that makes sense. Yeah, it's smart because you're not glorifying anything. Also because, like, anytime a serial killer, because you end up with situations where it's like, oh, that's a cool sounding name. You look it up and it's like, oh, this is the most depraved shit of all time. Yeah, yeah. But I think you'd be kind of pissed off today

if you were at serial killing and they didn't give you a name. Like, I think I would want a name if I was going to be a serial. I feel like that they're going to give them names. Because, I mean, like, even when recently, a lot of the time names have come from... Like the area? Yeah. be like the Creek

Killer Craig of the Craig the Creek The Creek of the Creek I think what Mr Craig the Creek killer When did they get Craig

That would piss me off Opening up the newspaper And they're like Mr Craig is killed again I'm like what the fuck Why they're Well it's because you killed her the Creek So we just

Like Craig of the Creek The Children's show I think I'd have to write Send in an anonymous letter No my name's in But I would try and avoid suspicion. I would write it like it was not me and it would be really obvious.

Hi, just a concerned citizen. Why are you calling him Craig when that might not be his name? Mr. Craig? It's not, yeah. His name doesn't even probably start with his seat. Yeah, it probably starts with a J. It's probably something generic, like Jackson. Yeah.

Like a cool name like Jackson. And the surname is probably something like Bailey, I would guess. And even if his name was Jackson, you're not going to call him. Mr. Jackson. He'd call him by his last name. Like, Bailey, Mr. Bailey. I go, that's a good sounding name.

Creek Killer is fine. You can keep that. Yeah, I reckon he would like that. Yeah. I think you wouldn't want something like man-killer. Nothing too generic, you know? It wasn't me to mean he sound like a bat.

Man-killer. Like, I'm a fucking shark. I don't know. By the laziest journalist in the realms. I just think, yeah. Man-killer. Hey, Jenkins, we didn't. name for the new serial killer. What have you got?

Man killer? You're fine. But he's killing mad. Yeah. Come up with something bad. Christ. That's the definition of murder. You might as well call it Mr. Murder. Well, Mr. Murder himself. That I'd be pleased. I mean, AFI have a song called Miss Murder. If I saw that in the paper, if I said, Mr. Murder is killed again.

Mr. Miller. Who were you to be called Mr. Murder? Well, that's why I was such a good one. Like you'd invent a dead thing. You're so good. If I was in a competing serial killer, I'd be miffed. I'd be so cut at you. How there's a hate, Mr. Murder? Mr. Murder, and here I am, Craig.

Yeah, my name really is Craig. How'd the fuck they know? My name's Craig Creek, and I have been killing in the Creek. Yeah, they finally just nail that. It's not even a cool. That's just Mr. Craig. That's me. Oh, dude.

Oh, Mr. Craig, that's my name. Fuck, I could, I'd be too proud. That's how they'd get me. I'd have to tell someone. That's to be like, you're Mr. Murdo? That's me. You'd be like, you'd grow like, you know, nine inches at that. You'd be there, you're like, you're like a neck just like, oh, you'd be...

It's so funny to imagine coming into a plumbing and being like, before we record, like, hey, dude, do you see Mr. Murdo? You know, the name they're giving to that serial killer that's killed 15 men and they haven't caught him? That's me. For real? Jackson, what? Yeah. How cool? I'm Mr. Murder.

They, um... Yeah, really? What do you mean? I'm just going to go call the police. Yeah, yeah, whatever, dude. I think they... You need to just have a quick call to someone. They need...

Sue, if they're gonna give... It's just like, hit record. Yeah, go on. I missed murder, I've killed 15 men, dude. Based on the seven deadly sins and then a bunch of extra sins I made up for my murders. Yeah.

Didn't you have like... You can't claim that we're Mr. Murder. Like, did you have, like, details that maybe only the you and the police witness? Like, what do you mean? Well, I could tell you. you the names and how they all died and stuff that wouldn't be in police reports

don't worry dude yeah no way yeah yeah well like when I killed the guy for slenvy or just sloth in envy I gotta be honest are you envious about them being a like sloth or a day no it's when you're really envious but you're like just

so lazy you can't do anything about you know like when you're envious of someone because they're like more successful than you but you're like but I'm not going to do the work to get that successful and that person had that no that's well not really that's just the kind of theme for their murder.

Oh, so you weren't, like, hunting them now. What I did is I picked another serial killer's kill, a famous one, and did a worse version of it. And I wrote Slendvi on the wall. I'm like, sloppy copycat. Yeah, yeah, exactly, a sloppy cat. Yeah, I'm hoping they'll call me the sloppy cat killer. But Mr. Murder's great.

Yeah, I was going for Sloppy Cat, but they got me, I got Mr. Murder. How fucking cool is this? I'm pretty happy about that. You know what, that'd be pretty chuffed too, for you. Slop v. I'm glad that you missed, I'm glad that you got me. Mr. Murder?

Like, sloppy cat. Sloppy cat would have been bad. Pretty good. Like, it's all right, but it's not good. Mr. Murder, though. There's, like, pretty much no embarrassing serial killer names. I think, like, hey, if you're going to name a serial killer, don't give them a cool name. Yeah, it is crazy that we did that for a year.

Like, there's a couple of ones where it's like, they're like not so cool. Do you know there's a serial killer called Joel the Ripper? What the hell? Is his name Joel, or if he only murdered Joel? No, his name is Joel. He only murdered 17. women. A Joel murder is so funny. You're leaving the

function and I'm like, you're sure you're going to be okay by yourself, the Joel murder is out of Although I will say that that kind of worked, because to be a serial killer of 17 people in your lifetime and half of it happens in mind Yeah. I've never heard of this fucking cunt. Yeah, yeah, you don't know

Joel the Ripper, clearly maybe shit boring names work. Maybe I should have been the sloppy cat killer, dude. Yeah. Sloppy cat, I'm curious, why? You know what I mean? Why are they called him sloppy care? And then when you learn that it's because I've done the seven deadly sins and then combined a bunch of extra sins to do, you know,

and then you're copying out more murder killers. But only for Slendby. Oh, only for Slendby. There's a guy that sounds like that he's taking your name, Jackson, because there's liver-eating Johnson. See, now, liver-eating Johnson, I'm frightened of. Yeah. I'm like, really, like, look, Joel the Ripper?

Yeah. That's like, hey. That's scary. That's scary. Jack Dripit makes me think that maybe Joel the Ripper was maybe like, maybe like eating another turn of century. Apparently not, but I'm like, weird that we went back. What's better than a well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue?

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Liberating Johnson? Well, I now know exactly what he's going to do. Because you've been kidnapped by Joel the Rupp. You see a bunch of newspaper articles on his wall that say, Joel the Roper strikes again. You go, I'm about to be murdered. You see, Leverating Johnson strikes again, you go, Oh, I know what's in book and store for me.

I am going to be murdered, yeah, but you're going to suck beforehand. And I may or may not be aware of that happening. Yeah. What if you see sloppy cat strikes again? As I'm tied down. Am I about to be sucked off? Is that what going? Am I getting sucked off in like the dark?

Or like am I getting sucked off on like a second story building? What? What is the fuck is going on? And meanwhile, I'm riding on the wall behind you. Uh. Glorah. Glorath. Gloraph. What's that? Glath.

Glott N-W-R-A-T. You know when you're so hungry and also angry? You mean you angry? Oh, fuck. There is a word for that. Have you tried just having an oak? Hey, brother, don't fucking, you backseat driver by killing a few. Yeah, let me write Oh, you're right, that's hungry thirsty Yeah, let me write wrath behind you

Yeah, you did that. Hey, well, is it Mars though? You ever had a Mars, but? No, sneakers. Snickers. You know, you're not with you when you're hungry. Maybe I kill you with a Snickers. What if that?

I am getting lazy. With my murders, clearly. Maybe the media should lean into just being like very vulgar and insulting to be like, Pindick William, is the name of hysterical. Why don't I do that?

Sex is like totally utterly. related to their crimes. Yeah. Yeah, like... The horned-dog killer? Killer? I see what you mean, like, to insult them to such a degree

that the serial killer then is like so pissed off they would have revealed themselves? It's like, yeah, it's a, you know, Mr. Craig of the creep killer. Or alternatively, it's like, oh, my, the more kills I do now, the more crimes I commit,

that's just going to cement my, like, notoriety as pinned Dick William. Yeah, that's true. Or like, fuck ugly... Johnson. I was trying really Okay, so this is what happened in my head there I almost said fuck ugly Johnson

I was like no we just had liver eating Johnson Then I almost said fuck ugly William was like No I just said William And then I was looking at Jackson I was like fuck ugly Jackson No that's just pointed at my friend And then I said nothing You got you

Fuck ugly bill Yeah yeah But yeah because then you're like There's no getting out of I guess if that happened to you You'd start to try and kill in such a way Loose asshole Liam Loose

Oh fuck How do we we know damn he's leaving big big bits everywhere just big

loose shit you can tell these fell out yeah yeah there has been serial killers where isn't it like you know

they're like oh this is like a psychosexual thing or whatever it is and they're like no no no I just love

killing dude or it's like oh yeah it's like oh yeah clearly wants to fuck his dad yeah he can crack

farting farting butt that's what I do yeah fighting bird strikes again in all of my articles

I would describe the crime scene investigators be like it smells so much like farts. It smells like farts. We clearly can tell either during or just after the murder, this, the person, the individual, have quite a lot of flagellets. Yeah. Yeah. It's a stinky crime scene. Yeah. It appears to have some kind of farting disease. Yeah. Mubstages, we assume that the farts are making him horny. Yeah. That's obviously what it is. And was he so frustrated of being horny for his own farts that he's killing. Yeah, that's our leading theory currently.

And yet his dick is so pinned dick That he can't jack off So to get out his fart frustration He must kill He must kill So have you seen Farting Boot Farting tiny dick butt

Fuck wit Yeah yeah No for being really ugly Yeah So if you know anyone like this Yeah please it's called Yeah And if this is you

Poor Oh brother I'm fixed you alive Well, speaking of fixing your life, do you reckon that if, like, you know, you're told a serial killer to know one to hold him, no one to fall him, no one to walk away, and no one to run? Is that good advice? To a serial killer? Yeah, probably. You don't know who you're giving the advice to. I was going to say. I mean, like, the gambler, that's a pretty good serial killer, the gambler, that is a good serial killer. And if the gambler, like, you know, the serial killer is, like, saying, well, you've got no one to hold them, if it does it, you know, have, like, a sinister edge now to his advice? If you are the next mark

And he's telling us all this This is kind of an inverse of what you're suggesting But what about if Kenny Rogers the gambler Is a story about a man Poisoning a Man on the train With Poisoned Whiskey Okay Do you want your last words

To be life advice to the man who just poisoned you Where you predict your own death I think that's all right That's wonderfully point Imagine being a serial killer Imagine you've given him poison whiskey and he's like, you know, the best thing is to, like, die in your sleep. Yeah, when he says the best thing in life is to die,

the only thing you're going on for it to die in your sleep, I'm like, he knows. Yeah. And then he closes in life and dies, and I go, he didn't know. Because you got one of two ways, right, depending on what serial killer you are. One, you could just be like, you know, oh, I'm like, you know, like the angel of death killers

where they're like, you know, well, I was doing a good thing. Oh, that's true. I was putting him out of the misery, yeah. And then they won't die in their sleep. And what I'm doing is actually a nice thing. And, like, he even said, good life, bad life doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is he's dying, and I'm giving him what he wants to die in his sleep. Or I'm so angry and furious because, like, I wanted to take something from, I wanted to watch a lot.

He was too late for it, dude. Well, I mean, the narrator of the song is, like, the gambler, as a gambler dies, he's like the gambler broke even. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he's like, yep, life stinks sometimes. Life's good sometimes. And if you're dying your sleep, fuck yeah. Anyway, good night. He got his dream.

I think it's funny, like, he's saying like that positive, not like, nor are negative. It's just a, it's a thing that a man was alive, and then he said peace, and then he was no longer. He died on a train. Did the whiskey kill him?

I don't know. I thought the death was the gambler already. He's so drunk that that one swig of whiskey took him out. I'm like a throw-up in the toilet because I drank some of the whiskey, maybe it was off. Yeah. I was going to say, that might sober me up enough, but I guess I need to stop drinking.

And I'm such a problem drinker that I'm drinking on the train. Yeah, I should stop this. And sharing it with strangers? Yeah, I need to stop this. I mean, drinking whiskey on the train, like just out of the bottle, yeah. Maybe not a great look. Yeah. But drinking on a train?

Drinking a beer on the train? Yeah, some trains give you beers. It's like drinking on a plane being a problem. Yeah, that's true. Justice for drinking on things. Some trains give you beers. He is right. You are right.

It is like up in the sky They can cut you off if you're drinking too much Yeah, I think you bring a bottle of whiskey on a plane You can't, I mean, well, what's Judy Fried? Yeah, what was Judy Fried? The Judy Fried, they seal it up And they put it in a special bag And they say, you better not fucking drink this

What if I do? I think it's... What if I cause a big problem? Commit sky crimes, become a hassle. Yeah, what do you think about that? Don't get on the no-fly list. What if I become a consistent nuisance on this 21-hour flight?

Oh! That's allowed then. That's fine. Okay. As long as you let them know before. Yeah. When they take your boarding pass, you go, oh, just by the way, I'm going to be a... I'm going to be a nightmare on this plane.

I've got heaps of problems. Oh, you got a fear of flying? No, no, love flying. I just love... I'm just generally unpleasant to be in use. Just letting you know. I'm a big fan of being a news. Do you hear about Mr. Murdo?

The sloppy cat killer? That's me, guy. That's me. Okay? Just letting you know. I don't know if it's a good idea to admit to being a murderer before you go on a plane. I think if you say... That's a great way to get

duct taped to the seat. Or it's a great way to get, like, yeah, as you land, get escorted by the... Hey, thanks for landing. Then the pilot opens the door. I said, hey, guys, we'd land and then pulls out a gunner.

And just as I've said, you know, the only thing you can hope for is to be shot by a pilot. Yeah. You know? So, hey, in this life... So prolific. You know, every hand's a loser

and every hand's a winner and the only thing you can hope for us to be shot. had by a pilot on a plane. It's funny if I knew. Yeah, the gamble having that price is about how he dies is funny to me. Like, the only thing you can hope for is to die in a train crash and then falls asleep. What?

Wake up. Wake up, Kenny Rogers, the gambler. Yeah, so yeah, what if the gambler is a serial killer here? Yeah. And he's like, basically like, yeah, giving this, you know, is there enough here where it could be potentially threatening? Okay. The protagonist here. So that is kind of like, you know...

Have a look. Thankfully, this man died in his sleep. Thank goodness, okay. Because otherwise, I'm the next target. Son, I made a life out of reading people's faces. And you've known what the cards say, by the way they held their eyes. So don't mind me saying, I can see you're out of aces. For a taste of your whiskey, I'll give you some advice.

So out of aces, like you're out of life. Yeah, yeah, you're out of aces. You've come to the end of the ride. Like, you know, I'm going to give you some advice because you are not long for this world. And then he says, if you're going to play the... He takes a swig of whiskey, plums a cigarette. If you're going to play the game, boy,

you've got to learn to play it right. You've got to know where to hold him, no one to fold them, no one to walk away, no when to run. There, that's the clue. Yeah. Because, you know, he's telling you.

Walk away. He's telling you. Run. Because, like, you know, depends if you want to look at the previous, what we did before this. Like, you know, this new start is canon or not. Yeah.

I can't even. Or an else world. Or an else world. Well, I mean, like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we so deep in a good version of the bad episode we started with that we just simply take the intro of the first episode. And I just don't think you can.

I think it's so entwined that we need to. And to go meta-plumbing on you. Oh, no. Now we can't. This episode is not a good version. No. But it's a funny episode. Yeah.

But mostly we've talked about serial killers. You know, if this was the whole episode. And this would be like, oh, it's one of those ones where they don't really pay attention to the topic. Oh, yeah, that's true. Because we've already spoken about the lyrics. Yeah, exactly. So to either go back to, like, say,

what someone has previously declared or a new, new idea now. The idea of him being like, yeah, you know, you've got to know when to walk away and no one to run. Now, no when to run is a really weird thing to say if it's like, you know, talking about life advice.

It's a metaphor. You're like, okay, fair enough. Something you need to just get the fuck out there. But if it's advice about like how you play a game of cards it's weird to just run away from a game of cards. Yeah. You know what to walk away because everything's like fair enough. What he should have said is to run though. Now we're talking

he's threatening. Now it's scary. I'm frightened. And then when he goes on to say every gambler knows that the secret to surviving, surviving, that again makes me think he's going to kill me. He's hunting me. Because why didn't he say you know, uh, uh, not know when to walk away and know where to run but know when to stay at the table and no one at the run. That feels like what he meant to say.

Yeah. Because walking away and running away kind of the same thing. Although walking away is to know to be like when you're walking away usually it's like well, I'm done and if I keep staying here like maybe it's like if I keep staying

here I'm going to be the problem. I'm going to keep sending that I'm going to keep losing money or whatever. But knowing when to run is like external forces are the problem and I need to get away from here, right? I'm going to get out of you. Which is, I guess, like, the metaphorical way of looking at it, but if we're talking about, in terms

of gambling, it's crazy advice, it's crazy advice. Unless you are cheating and you're about to get your legs brought. It's like he's imagining you can have a bad hand, and then you could have a hand that's so bad, you need to flee. I can't show you how you're going to die on the cards or something, you know?

So, yeah, again, like, that's terrifying. He's threatening me about survival. Every gambler knows that the secret to surviving is knowing what to throw away, and no one what to keep, because every hand's a winnow and every hand's a loser. Knowing what to keep, he's keeping keepsakes. Yeah, exactly. He's keeping lock your hair or something.

Yeah. The best you can hope for is to die in your sleep. Yeah, if he says that to me, I'm like, this man's going to kill me. And then when he dies in his sleep, I go, oh. Did I accidentally switch the whiskeys and he drank the one that he clearly poisoned? Is this what happened? But it's my whiskey. How did he do it?

How did he poison my whiskey? I would assume we had. Slide of head. That's why I'm assuming slide a hand and I then I fucked up or he fucked up who went for the wrong one. To nail slide of hand so well that you don't notice slipping something in someone's drink to fuck up so bad you drink the wrong one. You probably don't get many poisoners with ADHD for that reason.

Where you look back it and you go, fuck. What's crazy? I mean, look, this might be an outlandish claim. But I feel like poisoning big way to kill someone in Shakespeare times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poisoning now, kind of back. Yeah, dude, back mushroom waiting? Yeah!

Dude, poisoning's huge again. Yeah, poisoning, it's back in vogue. Poisoning, I get it as a serial killing way because it feels like you can do it just right so you don't get caught. I see it as a one-off. Yeah. I don't think you can serial killing.

Sorry, not a serial killer. Like, it's just a means of murder. Yeah. Because stabbing someone, I mean, there's so many complications. But if I get the right chemicals... If you poison someone in a way where they don't die immediately, You don't need to disperse of the body.

Exactly, dude. Let them wander around wherever they're going. Fall them at great. Fingers crossed, they're driving a car. Yeah, there's a bridge or something. And then hopefully they don't do toxic. Why would they ever do an autopsy for a car crash? They would never.

A toxology report for someone operating a vehicle where they made an insane decision and died? Seems like they lost consciousness on the road. Well, that probably just had a cold. What do you do what? Bury them. Cremate them straight away. Cremate them.

Don't you? Don't do it? Toxicology. What do you mean? You're going to go to a report. It's you to report. So could you please leave the police station? No.

Are you cremating my friend? I'm not done here. Hey, the family have said this is a tragic loss and we'd love to cremate the body straight away. So are you family? Yeah. I'm a family adjacent. I'm a friend of the family.

I'm family-ish. Do you believe, obviously, do you believe in found family? I think that can be stronger than biological family. Are you part of this person's found family? We can't ask, can we? Yeah, that would be a problem. Are you asking me? Yes.

Yeah, yes. If you're asking me, yes. If you're asking anyone else, no. But they are grieving. But they are grieving. We were a secret fan family. Yeah, we were like a forbidden family. We were lovers.

We will love us actually You can't see my phone Or tell my wife So as he's next of kin We would love to cremate them Toot sweet honestly Honestly You want me to do it

I'll do it I'll get the gas I'll hear so I'll just do it really quickly Yeah yeah yeah Sounds it seems like the move You just don't want to do what the mushroom lady did Where your Google history is full of How to Poison people

How to kill with mushrooms. Yeah, how to kill with mushrooms, legitimately, and then there's photos of you. This is the craziest thing, mushroom lady aside, this is the craziest thing she did to me. So she dehydrated the mushrooms that she used to poison her family. And she said, I don't have a dehydrator, and there's footage of her at the tip, throwing the dehydrator in the dip. Why did you film herself, throwing away the... She took a photo of her dehydrator at the tip. Did she or was a security camera?

No, it's a little photo. Are you what, that's insane? It's crazy, dude. I'm pretty sure it was her at least. Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought it was her. I thought she or because it was like the kind of thing where it was like the most obvious

you won't believe click throw away some junk delete the photo lady if you got a poison don't take the photo yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah was it security footage

yeah okay I thought it was maybe it's a there was something where it was like why didn't she delete this maybe it's search engine stuff yeah yeah dude that's awesome and poisoning

Yeah, it seems like probably the way to go. Oh, yeah, she says she didn't have a dehydrator, and it's like, oh, yeah, the lying was like, why did you say you didn't have a dehydrated? That's not the suspicious thing. But now it's suspicious, because you did. And how'd you make them? Yeah, and what state were the mushrooms in the way? And why did you throw the dehydrator in the tip? And why did you frequent this mushroom forum?

What was that about? How to kill with mushrooms. Yeah, yeah. Pretty much. Dotgov.org. The government wants you to kill with mushrooms. Yeah. That makes sense to me, dude.

It's two problems. Less people, less mushrooms. Dogs might fight them. Suck alive for whatever. That's beautiful. Mushrooms can kill and they can heal. That's cool about the mushroom. What do they heal?

You know, mushroom's good to eat. Got me? Yeah. Wow. So, yeah, so I guess if the gambler was a serial killer, like, yeah, he's definitely, there's some, there's some pieces there. It's like, yeah, is everybody saying? It is quite sinister, like sometimes, like, yeah, the running, the surviving, the dying in your sleep, I'm like, okay, I'm about to get killed.

And I think, oh, well, that was easy. He died himself, I guess. Yeah, because now it would be like, yeah, you know, like, it's crazy. He says it's dying in your sleep, and then he fell asleep and died. I'm like, no, no, no, no. I dodged a bullet and I don't know how. I narrowly missed my own death. Yeah, and I would think he poisoned the whiskey.

I would probably throw away that rest of it. that whiskey. And then I would never tell a living soul. And I would walk off into the sunset. And retire. It's just so funny him saying, well, the only thing you can count on is to die in you sleep. And then he falls asleep when you're just like sitting there like, wow, man, that's so poignant. And then like a couple of hours go by and you're like, no way. Well, you want to hear something crazy. And this is like a legitimate belief I have. Yeah. This happens on a train, as we know. It's like kind of adventurous and like romantic, not in like the horny sense.

No, but like it's romantic. Yeah, sure, sure. This happens on a plane? Horrible. Yes, dude. And you're sitting like this? And the gambler leads over and he's like, hey, give me some of your whiskey and I'll give you some advice.

And you go, Jesus Christ, I'm trying to watch fucking. Yeah. Also, you're like, you know. You're an economy and like, you're just hearing the, like, the roar of the fucking plane. Hey, no one to hold him. What? No one to play poker guy. Hey, good night.

Yeah. Oh, you want to play poker? All right. Then the flight attendant comes up Put the blanket over him You can just smell as he's shit his pants I think he's cold He's really he's really chilly

And his heart's not being He's not breathing He must be really cold What's the last thing he said He was just fucking mumbling Dude The secret's his kid The sinker's just surviving is

Can you move him He's shit his pants Because he died He's so capitalist Can you move this fucking sack of shit This guy's stinky eyes Okay If a stranger dies next you on a plane

Is your number one request not I wish this guy was dead somewhere else? What do they do? They literally just put a blanket on it. No, but I mean, so if I know he's dead, is the flight attendant just like... Is they probably move you? Okay, I was going to say.

If you knew that they were dead? They would probably move you, yeah. Well, I think I'll find out when he's dead because, like, you know, when you're on a flight and they come by with like the food or whatever? What do you want by? You hungry, dude? You hungry?

His head just rolls back, tongue falls out. Not like open out of his mouth Not like false out I don't know what that is I guess he can't reply anymore Because he's lost his tongue I guess he had one of them fake tongues maybe Yeah talk to me

Do you think plane is bad Is bus worse? No Plains worst Plain is the worst for you Bus is worse than train Bus I'm scared for my life more I think

For some reason I'm drinking whiskey On a bus Things have gone Because you think if you drink a whiskey On a plane in a way that's, you know. Whiskey on a plane is okay. Whiskey on a train.

Okay, I'm thinking like a metro train bad, but no, what if it's like, you know, a cross-country kind of train, that's fine. You're in the dining car. It's not like a regular, it's not like a public bus. It's a coach. Okay. Okay. So, okay.

You got to think like, you know, where it's acceptable to be in this like thing for a long time. Yeah. And we'd have maybe a little bit of a, you know, sniff of whiskey. Yeah, it's like one of those like 10-day, you know, it's like a, it's like a, not a 10-day, You know what I mean? Like an overnight coach Overnight multi-day trip Where we're going somewhere

You're going by coach Sure And you're like today I'm just gonna get hammered on the bus Why not? Guy sits next to you He goes Okay, I'll have some of whiskey I'll give you some advice

You go Okay Yeah I think coach I guess I think actually there's no scenario In which I give the gamble A whiskey

I'm giving whiskey every single time Coach to me is the worse Then it is trained Oh no No then it's plain than it is train. I think, yeah,

bus is the worst. No, plane's worse for me. Train. Boss, I'm fine with. Well, I'm not... Someone asking me for alcohol on the bus is the most natural experience

for that to happen. If I'm drinking whiskey on the bus, I'm just assuming that for some reason, I got done for drunk driving and... Instead of doing anything about it.

I was like, well, I'm not going to stop drinking. Well, no, I mean, like, the embarrassment of saying, yeah, I got a DUI and now I can't drive anymore. I'm like, fuck it. I'll just make

People feel bad for me instead. Time to lean in. I just feel that on a plane, I get to go where, like, you know, I still get to get to my destination. On a train, that's the same. Yeah. On a bus, there's a responsibility for me to now tell the bus driver. Yeah.

And now that's my day. It's a small close. My day is no longer, I no longer get to enjoy the day at the beach. I'm now, I've got to deal with the big. This is now my responsibility. Because the difference is going to be, cops are going to come. I'm going to have to give a statement. Oh, fuck.

I'm going to have to, on a plane, I'm like, Zommer just happened, this person passed away. On a train, on a train, on a train, I'm off in the wind. Yeah. There's no, I can leave. That's true. Yeah. Stop frequently. You just get off.

Get off. Get the next boss. That boss, none of your business. Now it's suspicious on me. No, the guy was giving you bad vibes and fell asleep. A coach is, because it's not big enough that you can just, like, disappear into the, to the ether here. You can just, you've never caught a boss. You get on a coach, you just go to know.

I'm talking the coach, man. Like a two-day trip through Spain or some shit. Yeah, like a coat, yeah. Hide in the toilet. Move seats. Hey, can I swap with you? The guy next to me is... Just dead.

He's fucking cocked. What do you think? You know, like when guys die. I'm just waiting for that moment of where he shits his pants. I know what's coming. You know, being alive? Yeah. That guy's not it anymore, so...

Jonas, he's really good to sit next to you if he's, like, still. If you want to quiet a seat? I think about... Because for me, if he was like, hey man, if you give me some of your whiskey, I'll give you some advice. I would say, I don't need the advice, but you can't have some whiskey. And then we sit in silence and he dies? Or it's like, you don't need to give me advice, but you could have a chat.

Yeah. I don't know what I don't want to talk to a stranger on the plane or the bus or a train. You don't want to talk to anyone most of the time? Exactly. But if he goes... But like the death that happens to the game war, is it when we just... sitting in silence. I don't mind talking to a stranger

in a situation. Now that I think about it, train freedom to move. You're not locked into that conversation. Plain and actually plain most, which is probably why I hated the most. I don't mind talking to a stranger, but if I'm locked in in a position where I can't opt out. The guy next to me on the plane starts talking to me, I'm done.

At least in the train, you can... My trip to Cairns ruined. In terms of talking to strangers, bus to me is the best, then it is trained and then it is plane. I get that. Bus more frequent stops. Yeah, exactly. All opportunity to leave. Train, you can pull the trick. I've never done it, but this just came to me.

I'm press emergency exit. This is my stop. Jumping out. No, I was imagining you go on like a metro train. You go, oh, this is my stop. Get out and run into the next carriage. Classic. This is my stop.

Get out of the next carriage. It's the same carriage. It's the back up a little. Oh, I took the wrong turn. My next stop I should get off, though. Do you reckon in that situation socially? you can sit in a different seat? I reckon, yes, but you've got to make sure that seat

because trains have seats facing both ways. You're going to pick a seat so your back is to the way you wear around. No, no, then I'm scared he's going to brick me. Well, you know what to sit and just be looking at him, but he's looking at you, like, what the hell? You were boring. You were boring, and I didn't want to talk to you. You were frightening and reeked of piss and piss.

Piss booze, but piss and urine. Yeah. So I tried to get into the next carriage, but I got turned around. I fucked that up. Remember, I'm also drinking the whiskey. Yeah. Wait a second. You go my whiskey?

Fuck. Oh, wait. No, it's just my whiskey. You evermore. You drink. Okay? And then he goes, what the? And then I say, good.

I'm glad it's dead, everyone. Clap. Try and get everyone to stand up on the train and clap for a man dying. That's a powerful move. Do you think we say it to the episode? I reckon we definitely did. I think so. I think we're going to give the listeners an episode that they say,

hmm, that was a weird one. Yeah. Some do you all weird one every, you know, 50 odd? After 600 and so episodes, they should be better at doing their own podcast where it doesn't come grinding to a halt then they have to basically start again in an episode. If they are going to start again.

In their defense, though, they knew it was bad. Yeah. And so they put those breaks on. Yeah, exactly. And they gave us this. We knew when to hold them. And when you went to fold them. But not really.

We did put good money off the... Well, we put bad money off to bad. Yeah. And then it... Because if we were truly following the gambler's advice, this is what would have happened. Five, maybe ten minutes in. We have been in the episode.

Hey, this isn't working. Let's do another one. But we didn't do that. And I think that's what makes us... Better than the gambler ever exists. That's why he's dead and we're alive. So I guess by us doing that, where so did we

we proved that the gambolous advice is in the applicable applicable to was yeah that's all we know no no one to fold them no no no you know die in your sleep definitely not yeah dude I'm gonna die hang gliding accident hand gliding accident hand gliding accident brother I don't know a lot about life

but I can tell you that I'm gonna die screaming yeah it's really sad like yeah you know that my good friend uh Jackson die from a hang gliding accident so in this one year anniversary to siter, to commemorate or celebrate his death. I too, I'm going and fighting.

It's so sad that my good friend Jackson Bailey died fucking a hang glider. That's awesome. The way I imagine I died is that somehow I had like a rope tied around my neck and the like bar and then as I did the lift off I slipped and hanged myself

and then the hang glider was just flying with me hanging from a nuke. Oh, what a cool view! Oh! Go go, go, go, go! Just flying through the sky And they're like, that's going to take a while to land. That's so pretty.

Wow. Wow. Well, when's Jackson going to land? You see it coming down to land in the field, and you're like, something's really wrong. You're being just dragged. It's, like, caught in a tree. Wow. Wow. Do you reckon he's okay?

No. No, I think he's dead. I say, you know, every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser. The only encounter is to be hanged by Anglider. by the neck Oh, hang glider Oh, now it makes sense Do you think the inventor's happy about this?

Yeah I guess he really did know When the fold them And then it kills you, Dushab I land on top of you And snap your neck And Zam, it's allergic Oh my god, my tooth

My neck Oh my neck, it's a fat What the hell? Where is it every cat Hey, man, I'm allergic to hang gliders. Rest in peace, Pugby.

What the hell? Is it a happen a light with a hank of a What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? I was like, well, he stepped on a poisonous frog, but he seems to be convincing a guy.

God, he's done how he lived. I guess he just earned two. Fuck. He's hurt two bruns killed by a angle. I don't know. Let's just write these three guys off as missing presumed dead. It's easier for their families that way. Yeah.

They can hold out some hope that they will die normal. Yeah, die normal with exposure. Yeah, yeah. Hey, uh, yes, Mrs. Bailey, mystery, Mrs. Duce, Mr. Sam, we've got some horrible news. I mean, yeah, horrible news. You know, look, your sons died. But on the bright side, they did die of exposure.

Yeah, normal. Normal style. Meanwhile, somehow there's like a big shallow grave that has all three of us in it. And a hang glider. And a hang glider, too. Yeah. They changed nothing. You've got the point of hang glided through your head.

Zam, it's a big bloated mess, and I'm... I died first. I died so much earlier. As I'm struggling with it, this doesn't kill Zammat and Dutja, too. I know he's allergic to... God, I hope one of us dies normal. God, geez.

Obviously, it wasn't going to be me, but maybe Zaman. No, he was allergic. He was. Well... On that note, I guess. Yeah, I've been Jill. I've been Jackson. I've also been, Joe.

Let us know. Do we save it? Did we save it? Was this a good episode? Chuck it in the fucking comments. Now, if you're listening, like, I mean, like, and let us know in particular when you got to 15 minutes, you said, this one's not very good. It's got another hour?

Yeah. How do they pull an hour out of yelling at Jackson? I mean, I believe they could do it. There's built a career out of that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But Jackson says, what if I fuck a dog? And we go, you can't fuck a dog. And then Zammert goes, well.

Well, he can. That's trade secrets. I'm not happy about it. But, like, you know. And I go, what's wrong with? my friends. If somebody wanted to... He said it was like it hadn't said me.

Yeah, it's an alive dog. Then I go say, I'm going to make love to a beautiful human woman instead of fucking a dog. Yeah, that's cool. And I say, boring, dude. Dog wives all the way there. And then you say, well, you can do that too.

No, I say it sucks that we have to clarify human, but I guess we do. That's the podcast we built, dude. Good money off the bad. Good night. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most, when your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard?

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