Plumbing the Death Star - Ethical Concerns of Meta Human Prisons (Feat. Mr Sunday Movies)

Episode Date: April 6, 2015

In which our heroes get caught in a particle accelerator explosion, gain the power of speed and start putting other powered people in windowless boxes underground with the blessing of our cop dad and never once question any ethical dilemmas that might arise. We attempt to sue the Hulk, suggest meta humans should have their own system of law, and explore the bitchiness of the Justice League. Jackson points out that Flash's MO is the same as a Batman villain, Zammit could not deal with a solid 20 minutes in a box, and James proposes a virtual reality prison for meta humans. So ask your policeman daddy to give you carte blanche to kidnap people, tap into the speedforce, and decide who's box-worthy. The answer is usually anything that isn’t you.Want to help us find an ethical way to treat these superpowered criminals? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in helping this evil meta humans reform.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least seventeen books explaining the Geneva Conventions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

San Spence Radio, comedy equals tragedy at the time. Hey, this week's episode's brought to you by Milo Bergner, Andrew Tobin, Emma Askew, and Andrew Morris. You guys, I don't know you personally, but I'd love to. You're lovely. Enjoy the episode. Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, what are the ethical dilemmas of Central City's metahuman prison? If you don't watch The Flash, that made no sense.

I don't watch The Flash. So basically, to get everybody up to speed, including you two guys, right? The Flash, which is a series that is currently running at the moment. People running like The Flash. Oh my god, yes! There's already so much comedy in this episode. Basically, for those who don't watch it, a particle accelerator explodes at the start of the season.

Oh, no. I know, right? And as a result, the Flash gets his superpowers. Oh, that's good. That's great. Yeah. But then pretty much every single other person who gets a superpower is a lunatic.

Oh, that's a shame. That's bad. Exactly. So every week he usually fights a different supervillain. And then what they do at the end of that fight or whatever, the Flash and his crew take whoever that is, even if they're not that particularly bad, and they store them under the particle accelerator room

and they just put them in a windowless box with no toilet or food or door, it seems. And it's like, have you ever seen Cabin in the Woods? Yeah. It's like all those elevators that just go around forever. So how do they, why are they not full of shit? That's a very good question. Do they feed them?

They must, but they don't really address it. Well, before we get into that, my question is, why isn't Flash in a box? Okay, sure. I mean, who's deciding who's good and bad? Yeah, that's a very good point, yeah. Like, I have watched Flash, whatever. But, hey, I'm going with this.

Like, who is, like, all right, Flash. Billy West? No, it's... Is that a voice act? Yeah, that is. Wally West was the original Flash. This is Barry Allen. Oh, Barry Allen.

You're like, Barry Allen, all right. Sorry, he wasn't the original Flash. It doesn't matter. It's Barry Allen. I Allen. You're like, Barry Allen. Sorry, it wasn't the original Flash. It doesn't matter. It's Barry Allen. I don't want to get into it. Cool. Comics. Barry Allen, you're like, hey, you're the Flash.

Is the Flash? Yeah, he's the Flash. You're the Flash. He's the Flash. He's all the other people who are superpowered and stuff. We need you to grab them and put them in the box. And he's like, got it. I'm on this.

What? I'm your man. I'm your man for putting people in boxes doesn't he have any sort of empathy there or he's like but hey they are a victim of science like i am why hunt well what okay well hang on what what powers are they getting sure okay well the very first guy that turns up is a weatherman who can control the weather okay okay useful yeah absolutely and he's got a brother who can also control the weather i don't know what happens because the time of recording that hasn't resolved itself yeah he's got a brother who can also control the weather. I don't know what happens because at the time of recording,

that hasn't resolved itself. He's probably going to end up in a box. Chances are. He's destined for the box. Oh, actually, no. I think the flood. No, he was shot. He didn't end up in a box.

So if anything, that's a mercy. Yeah, yeah. Good for him. So he's free in a way. Okay. There's other villains that turned up. There's a guy. There's a woman, actually. This one's really. No, sorry. There's a guy there's a woman actually

this one's really no sorry there's a guy who can control technology or something or he can no he's got something like that no he's the Pied Piper

he can manipulate people and make them do things or whatever yeah alright so they put him in a box he actually got out of the box to his credit good

good this isn't a good example the first two examples I brought up they're not in a box one got shot. One got out of the box. Yeah.

Okay, there is a woman who can teleport, right? Yeah. Anywhere she can see, she can teleport to. Did you see out of the box? Yeah. No, well, that's the thing. But she's not really a bad person. Her boyfriend is a criminal.

It's like, we'll just do this one last score and then nobody's ending up in a box. Don't worry about it. Anyway, he buggers off. The flash shuts down the power so she can't see where she's going. Yeah. And then's ending up in a box. Don't worry about it. Anyway, he buggers off. The Flash shuts down the power so she can't see where she's going. Yeah. And then they put her in a box. And she's screaming in this box, teleporting.

But because it's a mirrored box, they made one special for her. She just can't, trapped, and she can't do anything. That's awful. Yeah. Flash, no. What was Flash before he became the Flash? He was a Forensics expert And he still is

So he wasn't an upstanding citizen So he doesn't have a shady past Where it's like, you piece of shit Who do you think you are Judging me Because my boyfriend It's the Ghostbusters issue, isn't it? Who gives the Flash the power to put these people in boxes?

Yeah. I didn't vote for him. I feel like it's... Because he's got a crew, and they're all kind of, like, encouraging each other. They're like, yeah, no, we should. I mean, look, they are dangerous, most of these guys. Yeah, sure.

But there's a better way. Yeah. Okay, all right, let's just go teleporting lady. Okay, so she's not inherently evil. Yeah. Okay, alright. Let's just go teleporting lady. Yeah. Okay, so she's not inherently evil. No. She wasn't like

I'm going to use my plans for nefarious ways. Look, I just got victim of circumstance. Yeah, I just need some cash and then I'm going to leave. That was pretty much her theory, yeah.

Couldn't like what company does he work for? Who? The Flash. Well, yeah. I don't know what they're called. Flash Inc. Flash Inc.

Flash Inc. Flash Incorporated, yeah. Flash Incorporated what they're called. Flash Inc. Flash Inc. Flash Inc. Flash Incorporated, yeah. Flash Incorporated. Flash and Son. It works for a guy who... Flash and Son are like, hey, teleporting girl, work for us. Help us with these crimes. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. There's this option one. Yeah, that would be my first thing. That would be my first. Like, rehab, guys. Teleporting is almost like running real fast. Yeah, it is. So, like, join me instead of fight me. That would be my first, like, rehab, guys. Teleporting is almost like running real fast. Yeah, it is, yeah. So, like, join me instead of fight me.

We could be Flash son and daughter. It would be great. And I feel like that would be a really short conversation where they'd be like, your boyfriend left. Yeah. Sorry. He's like a piece of shit. Yeah, do you want to, like, you know.

I'll bust out. Or just be on your merry way. Just don't commit crimes. And she'd be like, yeah. Because we know where you are. I didn't want to. And just fight him. So long. It's like a threat. Like, there's a box. Yeah. You know. just don't commit crimes and she'd be like yeah because we know where you are I didn't want to and I'd be like

so long it's like a threat like there's a box you know you mess again we'll put you in a box but let's just do good things together

reform reform if I'd gotten powers from the particle accelerator and like say I don't know I could like fly with my feet

or whatever good I don't even know what that means am I like upside down in the sky your feet would just independently oh my god here we go dragging you along in the sky yeah i could say that's happening and the flash is like hey he zips up to me stop it or i'll put you in a box i'll be like holy

shit i will never again that is like i can't help this i can't help this flash help me in the box you go you piece of shit that's pretty much how it goes though like if they can't help this I can't help this Flash help me in the box you go you piece of shit that's pretty much how it goes though like if they can't control it either they're in the box what? holy shit

Flash not on there's another one called the mist which is a guy who can turn into mist he's in a box it's just a box of mist how'd they put him

in a box? box of mist? I don't know a funnel I guess I don't know how they did it you know when he's like sucking gas like just

put him blow that mist in yeah there's a bunch some get away Captain Boomerang got away good I'm glad You know when he's sucking gas? Yeah, exactly. Put it in, blow that mist in. Yeah, there's a bunch. Some get away. Captain Boomerang got away. Good, I'm glad. Did Captain Boomerang get powers?

Because in the comics, can't he just throw boomerangs real good? Yeah, that's what he does. Yeah, he just throws boomerangs. So he was like, what's your power? Boomerangs? He's like, nah, mate. I can just throw boomerangs pretty good. He's like, I guess you don't go in the box. Yeah, whatever then.

Is that box worthy? Do we waste a box? Box worthy, guys? Is the box worthy? Do we waste a box? Box worthy, guys? Is the box worthy? Could some of the, because the boomerang, you could theoretically just put him in jail, right? Yeah. Yeah, you could.

Regular jail. That's an option, Flash. Is the Flash a policeman? Have they been deputised? In a way, because one of the police, one of the high-ranking police officers he knows and he raised him knows he's the flash yeah and whenever he's like there's a bank robber he's like get down there man yeah so that that's all well and good but is that the same as being like

you're a deputy definitely not to be like your dad who's a cop says you can fight crime no that is not that does not count you got this i don't think that's gonna hold up in a court of law because like imagine it without powers imagine that there's some guy who is a dangerous psychopath and he's like i need to collect other dangerous psychopaths yeah and put them in boxes underground yeah that's a national tragedy is what that is that's on the news for months you're right what if the mist had been had like what if the Mist dad was the cop, right? And he's like, there's this guy, he's zipping around like a piece of shit.

Mist, get him. Get him. And then, like, the Mist has then grabbed Flash and put him in a box. Yeah. But I think the only reason the Flash is doing it is because the Flash can. Like, the Mist can't grab him. Teleporting lady probably could. Yeah, she probably could. Yeah, so teleporting lady is like, my dad's the

You know Captain of the police guard Or whatever they call them Yeah police guys I think Yeah It's like hey Daughter of mine Teleporting son

Yeah We've got this box There's this guy zipping about Grab him Put him in this box He can't get out I mean what Where's the line

Where's the line Who designed the boxes Harrison Wells Who runs the institute But he's not who I don designed the boxes? Harrison Wells, who runs the Institute. But he's not who... I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. Nah, spoil away. Really?

Yeah. Okay, well, he is the reverse Flash from 200 years in the future. Oh, okay. And he's a bad guy. So he's built this. So I guess that makes some sense where he's not a good... He's, like, collecting them? Yeah, I guess so.

Or he's just... It seems like he's... they haven't resolved that yet. So whenever this comes out, I don't know. But basically. Put him out tomorrow. Okay, tomorrow. Yeah, it seems like that he is only doing everything he does to make Barry faster so he can get back to the future. Oh, okay.

Like the movie Back to the Future. Yeah, with Doc Brown and Marty McFly. Exactly. So he's got to get his parents back or whatever. Exactly. and Marty McFly. Exactly. Going to get flashed and make his parents bang or whatever.

Exactly. And I think by getting these guys out of the way to stop the flash being killed is to his benefit. But surely the flash should at some point be like, I feel like putting these guys in boxes. You are correct. On a moral sense.

Yeah. It's not okay. Does he ever bring it up? Like, what are we doing wrong? Apparently it's going to be addressed and I feel like it's going to be one of those Really? Shoot.

Yeah. It's going to be one of those Ghostbusters moments where the machine breaks and everyone gets out at once. I feel like that's where it's going. I mean, that's probably good. It makes sense. It's pretty much a crime he's committing. Yeah, it is. I mean, it's unlawful imprisonment.

There's no trial. There's nothing. Yeah, I was going to say, is there any trial? No. Because there's a Batman villain, right, called the Keymaster master or lock and key or something and his whole deal is the same he builds these prisons underground and in these places and he puts all these super villains in there there's like whole storylines where the key or whatever his name is just like locks up gotham's villains and batman frees them because batman has a complicated relationship with

the world yeah but like that's not okay. In the comics, everyone's like, oh, don't, unlawful imprisonment. Flash is like, look, let's put them away. Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, that's exactly it. The argument is that they're so dangerous they can't be in a regular prison.

But I feel like they should go through some kind of judicial process. Because they're like, you killed 50 guys. You should go to prison. Yeah, then you can go. But yeah, there needs to be some steps there. Well, give them to someone like Xavier, you know? It's like, hey, this guy can control the weather.

I've got one of those. I know what to do. I'm aware of what to do with this situation. It's a shame there's no Xavier in the DC universe. You've got no analog there. I'm sure there's someone with exactly those

powers what's the powers there but also there's kind of be like let's gather them all

together the closest you have is the Justice League and they're super bitchy about who they're

letting they are aren't they someone to help these young metahumans just be

if I was struck by this particle accelerator bullshit and suddenly I can summon a volcano I'm just going to be like that's not me guys, oh shit there's another one

oh fuck and then the flash is going to punch me in the face using the flash and put me in a box and I'm going to be like I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm here help me when I come out I'm going to make so many volcanoes I'm so mad at the flash yeah

if anything you're making me more angry yeah like that's a good way for the flash to get a rogues gallery because when they come out they're going to be like

you son of a bitch you put me in a box what's wrong with you even if it was for a week I'm like that's a week too long that's a week in a box oh I wouldn't last like 24 hours

I would be actually I'd be mad for even three three hours in a box I would be very yeah I'd be I'd be steamed half an hour be mad for even three. Three hours in a box, I would be very... Yeah, I'd be steamed. Half an hour. I'd come out pretty salty.

If I had 20 minutes in a box, I might just fall asleep. I reckon 20... I'm just thinking, like, my fuse is short. Like, I'm thinking, no, 20 minutes in a box, that piece of shit. I feel like it'd be, like, 20 minutes in a box is panic. Half an hour in a box is, like, you're proper, like, stressing, freaking out, yelling. An hour in a box, I might have accepted my fate. Okay, yeah like this is it forever i'll be like look this is me and bear in mind there's no clock there's no chair there's no television there's nothing so you would have

no concept of time no sunlight no entertainment no chair can i see the other guys no i'd be like you know like a bed no there's nothing Can't even sleep Just a box Is it long enough That they can lie down? Yeah you can lie down That's alright Small blessings you know

Do we have clothes? Well the ones you went in Yeah The ones you arrived in Jesus There'd be Just like I'm sure there's

Things in place I guess I'd Bundle my clothes up As a pillow Yeah Sleepin' naked Yeah yeah yeah And they're watching you though On the camera Whatever man Watching me sleep naked I'd bundle my clothes up as a pillow. Yeah. Sleep in naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're watching you, though, on the camera.

Whatever, man. Watching you sleep naked. Watching you sleep naked. I'd be staring at the camera 24-7. Fuck you guys. I'd be one of those creepy guys that just starts meditating, and they just don't move for 24 hours, and it's like, just stare and just wait.

Because eventually it's going to get broken out. Eventually, yeah. And they'll be like, oh, oh, look, look, here's a volcano. Woo, volcano, volcano, volcano. Oh, look at that volcano. Wait, hey, hey, oh, oh, look, look, here's a volcano. Woo, volcano, volcano, volcano. Wait, hey, hey, oh, oh, look at that. Oh, four volcanoes.

What's she going to do now, Flash? Volcano. Well, what do you think is a better way to trap metahumans then or like imprison them? If they're bad, just kill them.

I'm not for the death penalty, but in a situation where a guy is a literal psychopath and will never stop killing people, then I think it's okay for the Flash, maybe not the Flash,

maybe someone of authority to kill them. Flash can just kill who he wants. Maybe a group of peers. Yeah. Like a jury. Yeah, a jury of 12 guys. I feel like superheroes and metahumans should have their own law systems. Okay, sure, yeah.

Where they can sort stuff out internally. Maybe I was a little harsh on the killing. No. No, no. That's something I love about Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman always just seems like, look, you're too much of a hassle. I'm going to stab you. There you go.

Sorted. Batman, the reason that Gotham is a shithole is because Batman won't follow through. Like maybe they should, like Gotham's villains, maybe they need to be put in boxes. That's very true. Maybe I'm pro-box there guys i'll say it and also look at what they were like before the particle accelerator yeah because what's to say that the particle accelerator made me insane yeah you're

right i mean like look at like you know uh again crossing the you know the marvel path um like gamma radiation right so like the leader I think it's the leader the big head guy you know it depends it's iteration but let's go with the one where he isn't just a complete cunt

from the beginning like the beginning like you know he's fine he's a scientist something happens gamma radiation evil son of a bitch

you know it's like look clearly the gamma radiation did something he can't really be blamed or held responsible for his actions because it wasn't there.

Should the Hulk be in a box? Yeah, well, that's a thing. If the Hulk hulks out and kills my kid, who's to blame? Can I take Bruce Banner? Can I sue Banner? Or is Banner going to be like, well, I don't think I'd sue him. I'd try and get him arrested.

Or it'd be like destruction of property. We've gone down. You know what would be super super fucking weird yeah get she hulk as the lawyer represent you i don't think she'd be okay with that i think she'd probably defend bruce banner because like who goes to jail there law in superheroes is a very complicated issue like for where these weather people if they were like completely normal people then like i can Who goes to jail there? Law in superheroes is a very complicated issue. Like for this weather people, if they were like completely normal people, then they're like, I can control the weather and oh my God, I'm going insane with power.

In the TV version, there's two of them. Yeah. Like I said, the first one gets shot, they're brothers. The first one gets shot by the cop, Barry Allen's dad. Yeah. And that's the reason he goes to kill people, which I think is quite reasonable. Yeah, I think that's a fine origin.

Like, hey, dad shot my brother. Understanding that. But they were criminals, but they, yeah, that's, I can understand where he's coming from. I think if they can put them in a box, I'm pro-depowering or finding, like, you know, the mutants with the collars and, like, they shut down their powers of that,

and just in general pop, you know, just chuck them in jail. Just mutants in general population with collars around their necks? Yeah. And now you're hitting the human rights issues, but that's the issue there. What's the issue there? You don't want to make people wear collars. Well, there's power dampeners.

So they're not restrictive? Yeah, it doesn't have to be a collar. How big's this collar? I'm imagining like you've broken your neck. Can I propose something? A virtual reality world. Okay. Yeah, I'm down.

So we get all of the matter humans, we put them in like at SeaWorld where they have all of those cows. No, like Minority Report, like that pod thing you go to strangle your boss in that so just loads of pods like that

and you don't know you're in it that would be super weird to be like born with powers and they're like hey you got powers

and you're like sick they're like we're taking you away to a secret training camp and you're like alright no pods oh yeah

is that a I think you go in the pod if you do something that is deemed by a jury of peers unacceptable. I think that's fine. Like you're just controlling the weather, and people don't like that.

Sorry, mate, you're in the pod. Or have we just made better boxes? You get the judge who plays golf, and he's like, you rule by nature. Yeah, exactly. You're out, mate. Get in the bloody pod. Yeah.

So really, it's physically restraining, but mentally freeing. Freeing, in a way. Which is good, because that's physically restraining but mentally free. Free in a way. Which is good because that's the issue. If they weren't controlling the weather or making volcanoes, we wouldn't care. This has gotten way too deep. It's gotten to this level where I'm just like,

it's a human rights issue now. I feel like we need a lawyer in here to talk about it. Are we the bad guys? Should we be in a box? Should we? Oh, no. Oh, God. But if you can't control your power,

then clearly the best thing is for you to be taken away from society for the greater good, right? Yes. Like you can't help it. You are just, you blink and there's a volcano. Jesus. Like Jesus Christ, stop it. We need to do something.

Don't blink. Don't blink. Don't blink. Oh, my God. Every time you blink now, I Christ, stop it. We need to do something. Don't blink. Don't blink. Oh, my God. Every time you blink now, I'm imagining a volcano, and I'm like, that's the world's done. That's four, that's ten. Oh, no.

So, yeah, you'd want to try and, first off, stopping volcano blinkers is going to be hard to begin with. Yeah. But if you do, yeah, if you put him in a box, he's still going to be blinking volcanoes. Then you take his eyes. You have to. Oh, my God.

Or his lids. Yeah, his lids. Maybe not his eyes. Either way, it's not great. No, he's still going to be blinking volcanoes. Then you take his eyes. Or his lids. Yeah, his lids. Maybe not his eyes. Either way, it's not great. You'd have to research how his power was and maybe get a metal thing and staple his eye shadow. Maybe I'm pro-boxes, guys. Now I'm...

The more I think about it... There's a degree of power here. Okay, teleport. Controlling the weather? Yeah. In the box? In the box? Depends what you use it for, I think.

Depends on the circumstance. If you can control it, but you're not a dick about it. Like Storm does that. Yeah. Should Storm be in a box? No, that's a good point. Maybe, but she does have claustrophobia and she would freak out. So, yes.

Yes, she should. But then would she get claustrophobia if that box was also a VR making her think she wasn't in a box? But then you'd have that always in the back of your mind as a powered person. Am I in a box? Yeah. If you knew it existed, you'd be like

is this real? What if your virtual reality is that you're in a box? Oh no! And then when Wolverine figures out you'd be like is this real what if your virtual reality is that you're in a box yeah oh no and then like when Wolverine figures out like it's gonna be like Wolverine

or Batman or someone figures out he's like they've been just putting metahumans in in these bloody tubs

and then he'd break it all and then they'd be fucking pissed at us yeah could you imagine being say the weather dude

yeah and being like I'm living in this great place. I am worshipped as like a weather god. Yeah. I'm having the time of my life. Yeah. And then suddenly Batman is you like, you wake up,

you're covered in like slime and poop and you're shaved with like plugs in the back of your head. Matrix style. Like the Matrix style. You're like, what? And there's Batman. He's like, are you okay, weatherman? You're in a box.

I'm free. I'm freeing you. What do you mean you're freeing me? What happened? About ten years ago, you got these powers. You killed everybody. What? You just summoned a tornado.

It was crazy. But don't worry. I'm here to free you. I had a wife and kids. What happened to them? We'll be back in the box. Yeah, you would have major box withdrawals. You would have such box withdrawals.

And then you suddenly, like, it's ten years have passed. Your wife and kids were just made up. Oh, God. Send them to space. That would be my solution. I would then become a... A villain. A bigger villain.

A bigger villain. That's the danger of boxes. Batman. If you went into space, unless you went directly into the sun, you'd eventually cross something that would give you powers. Oh, yeah, that's true. If it was a comic book universe. Yeah, like it just would happen.

Yeah. What if we just sent all of the matter humans into space? Oh, yeah. No, but then they're going to be like, space is a problem, and then the Green Lanterns are going to come. Space is a problem, exactly. And the Green Lanterns are going to come, and then they're like, what happened here?

And they're going to be like, we got sent from Earth. And we're like, we got sent from where? Earth, we just were sick of them. And then they're coming down and beating the shit out of us. And then the fucking Green Lanterns are going to come and then we're going to be like, hey. And then they're going to be like, what did you do to these people?

Like, oh, they were our hassles. And we sent them to space. And like, you can't do that. Humanites of sentient people. we're like oh man now you're in our dick fuck and then we're gonna be in like a green lantern box now we're the ones in the boxes because we're the jerks jesus christ this is far more complicated i mean like okay at the end of the day flash shouldn't be putting people in boxes. Agreed, we can all agree on that. Think of another solution, Flash. That one is like a shit one.

It's going to cause problems down the track. But as for what to do with the meta-human villain problem, I honestly don't know. What about a nice cell? Like a nice cell. But then you've got the Arkham issue. You're putting them all together. One of them gets free, they all get free.

Yeah. I think you've just got to cold ice them. You've just got to... Because, like the teleportation girl, she's in a cell and she's like, I can see outside, I can free you, but hang on, I'm just gonna poof into the Joker's room here, grab you, poof, okay, we're outside. Just gonna keep doing this back and forth. Sick, now we're all out.

Now we're all out. You know? Okay, she gets a box. She gets a box. But she was the one I didn't want a box in the first place. Yeah, you're right. She was the middle situation. I think killing, killing.

I'm so anti-death penalty, but Jesus. I don't like it, but like I eat meat, but I won't shoot a cow. Yeah. Because it's the same scenario. I wouldn't eat a metahuman, but I would shoot one.. Yeah. It's the same scenario. I wouldn't eat a metahuman, but I would shoot one. I guess. And?

Is the takeaway message here. Because I don't know what else you could do with them. No. Are you supposed to be sad at the end of these episodes? No, but I am this time. Or we could make them superheroes. Yeah, but then you get a Suicide Squad situation where the only way you can make them superheroes is with

like, explodey collars. I think I'm okay with that. I think that's a good song. In the head. Yeah. In the head. Not a collar. A bomb in the head. Yeah, how about a microchip? Not a bomb. A microchip that shuts out their power. Bomb in the head. No! Bomb in the head. A microchip that controls their power. Aye?

Okay. Right? Get like Dr. Fate or whatever to make you one? So rather than the collar that's restrictive, we can be like, okay, you... An elective surgery. An elective surgery? No, it'd be forced.

It would be forced, yeah. It would be forced. Now we're entering like lobotomy territory. But why aren't we forcing the Flash then? How do we get into medical ethics? Oh my God, guys. Where have we ended up? Because if we're putting a chip in

teleportation girl's head to stop her teleporting We gotta put one in Flash. I gotta put one in the Flash to stop her running around real fast. It's gotta either get all matter humans or no matter humans. I can't be picking and choosing. No, you can't be picking and choosing because who the hell are you? Yeah. I'm just a guy. Yeah, who are you? I'm just a guy. What the fuck do you think you are? I'm just a guy trying to fix a problem of

matter humans. Just fucking up our city. Chips for everyone. Oh, then would you be like just preemptively chipsing everyone? No, because then what if somebody figures out how to fucking work the chips in the opposite direction? Which would happen. Which would happen. Because if you...

Because the thing is, there's going to be heaps of potential villains or potential heroes that are going to keep popping up. You've got to deal with them. You need something in the water to be poisoning the water supply. What do they do in other cities? Well, in Gotham. What's the most effective method? It's not Gotham, right?

It's not Gotham. Superman has a pretty sweet prison. What does he do? What's his prison? He's got, like, the Fortress of Solitude has, like, a sweet prison, doesn't he? Doesn't he, like... He's got the negative zone that's not great either

no that's just putting someone in a bigger box the phantom zone yeah the phantom zone is just like a bigger box it's just a bigger version of the box um

then there's like you know the again Marvel they put him in the prison in the negative zone that's true and that's just

that's just terrible Aquaman will just drown you. Yeah, exactly. Aquaman drowns his problems. Which, yeah, not great. Not great, but it's the best, better one so far. I think you have a better chance

in like Marvel because you've got like the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. You've got places to go where they'll look after you. Like organisations. Yeah, there's no organisations like that in...

No, they've got the League of Evil or whatever. Oh, yeah, the League of... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The criminal something. Yeah. They've got that. That's pretty good. Like with Marvel,

you were blinking volcanoes into existence. Xavier or at least the Jean Grey or Scott Sommers group will come and be like, you're a mutant, we'll take care of you. You're a mutant, it's fine. We'll take care of you. Come here, Blinky. Wait, you got your...

Forget it. Because I got your powers from a particle accelerator. You're not a mutant. Get out! You're not my problem. Unclean! Unclean! Mind wipe for you!

My mind was like, they were in the doorway and they just shut the door on him. Just don't worry about it. That's Reed's problem. Unclean, unclean. Wheeling around in circles. But in DC, I mean, you could join the justice,

the evil one, but you know, you're just going to get the shit. I mean, it's the whole metahuman problem. You just, either they get locked up in boxes or they spend the days beating the shit out of each other. What do we do? Just be like, fuck it.

Let's be pro-metahuman. Kill the human race. Hey. Okay. Hey, there's an idea. Just go the other way. Magneto tried to do that, didn't he, in X-Men 2? Yeah.

He flipped the machine or whatever. Did it work out for him? I mean. No. Not particularly well. I mean, look, and he should have done it to be fair I'm not condoning that But like you know we've proven Like we can't you know

Homo sapiens can't live with homo superior So one of us has to go It'll be like Neanderthals and early man Yeah We'll eat the Neanderthals Just like the metahumans will eat us should it be a situation where you get people to tweet in maybe and be like you guys decide i don't know you guys got a solution do you guys do that here i guess we could start just now seems like the perfect

opportunity if you've got a good solution i don't want to give a definitive answer that's like one that we'll all be happy with, please. Tweet it to at SansPetsRadio. You know, find us on Facebook. Let us know. Because I'm at a loss what to do

with these metahumans. Unless we're doing lobotomy, and that's not good either. I think I'm happy to bow down as part of the human race.

I think that's where I'll stand. At the end of this episode, that's where I'm going to stand. Don't worry. If there was an uprising, I would be the first to sort of like, no, no, no, I'll be inside. I'll turn in the human race. Don't you worry. Okay, I was just going to

be like, Superman, I'm done. You win. MetaHuman, just through my head. Just laser through my head. End my life. Sick. It's yours now Yeah We did a pretty rough job Yeah

See what you can do Go on It's yours now Because then if the whole world Is metahumans Then it's like Everyone's on a level playing field It's also their problem

Like so So whatever Yeah I'm dead in this It's kind of like Magneto's plan In the first X-Men film Yeah

To turn everyone into a mutant So he was He went He went first Turn everyone into a mutant, then, like, kill everyone that's not a mutant. Should have just stuck with one of those plans. Yeah, maybe try it twice. Try it twice, Magneto.

But I reckon, yeah, make everyone. Just blow up a lot of particle accelerators. Yeah. Turn us all into metahumans. Get rid of those boxes. We've all got something going on. So it becomes the norm and you're relatively safe. Like the way you're relatively safe now that we're all humans.

Like, yeah, somebody could put me in a box. Yeah. But they're probably not going to. Like, if I'm a metahuman, it could happen. Yeah. You know. Like, look, you might be able to teleport, but I can shoot you with my laser eye.

So we're not going to tassel. All right. You might be super fast, but I can blink Volcano at you. Yeah, so I guess... So everybody gets powers. That's the solution. I think it's got to be that everyone has powers. Even the playing field.

Or no one has powers. And let's be honest, listeners, neither one is great. No, it's not. Like, this is not a good solution. This is a terrible extreme. So, Flash, don't put anybody in boxes. Please. Like, that's a definite answer we can say is bad.

But everything else... Flash, I've got nothing. Tweet in. Yeah, just let us know. Use Twitter. And on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey. I've been Joel Zabit. I've been Mr. Sunday Movies. So help.

I don't know what to do. Everyone's in a box. Put them all in boxes. Someone else's problem. Space's problem. Boxes, shoot them into space. Into the sun? Into the sun.

Into the sun. Into the sun. But then if it's Superman, he's going to become Into the sun? Into the sun. Into the sun. Into the sun. Oh, but then if it's Superman, he's going to become superpowered. Oh, fucking hell. Flash! Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth! If you think this show is worth at least a dollar,

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