Plumbing the Death Star - How Do Superheroes Get Their Secret Names?

Episode Date: May 6, 2018

In which our heroes are ask the hard hitting question; How Do Superheroes Get Their Secret Names?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. The proof is in the pitae. Hey, guess what, you dirtbags? On May 18th, Movie Maintenance is performing at the Eureka Hotel for their final ever episode. So if you love hearing films fixed, laughing, and saying goodbye to 150 episode long podcasts, then why not do something worthwhile for once in your life and come see the show? We'll also be there, doing a live plumbing the death star like cackling hyenas tearing apart the corpse of a once proud and virile lion grab your tickets at sanspansradio.com forward slash live and in further live show related news on may 28th

tom walker and demi lardner will be doing their podcast big soft titty dot png live at the giant dwarf theater in sydney i've been informed that no cowards are allowed, so if you are a coward, spend the night huddling under a pier regretting instead. But if you're a hero who hates cowards, head to sanspensradio.com forward slash live and grab your tickets now or spend the rest of your life forever regretting it. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions, like,

how do superheroes get their secret name? I fucked that up. It's good to sing it. How do superheroes get their secret name? How do superheroes get their secret name? The name's not a secret. I wasn't thinking. How do superheroes get their name. I need another story.

Something to get off my chest. My life gets kind of boring. Need something that I can confess Till on my sleeves I stained red From all the truth that I've said Come back here honestly, I swear Thought you saw me wink, no I've been on the brink, so tell me what you want Imagine if we did a whole episode

pretending that every superhero had a secret name. No, Superman's secret name is John. Yeah, it's Superman. Clark Kent, Carl L. John. Tell me Carl L would be your secret name. Yeah, well, that's a secret to some people. Well, actually, no.

Some superheroes do have secret names. Carl L. Fuck. Carl L, yeah. What's Batman the gangster one? Something Murdoch. No, Malone. Bugsy Malone.

No, no, no. Bruce Wayne has... John Paul something? The Falcone family? No. Bruce Wayne has a third identity. So he's Bruce Wayne Batman and he pretends to be... Oh, right.

He does too. And he has a fourth one as well. He's got that one where he's like... You look like you're about to lie to me. No, he does. It's going to sound like such a lie. So there's an issue where you find out Batman created a false identity for him to revert to if anybody found out his secret identity.

Okay. Where he calls himself like Bat-Zara of the fifth dimension and he wears like a multicolored costume and he roams around like a crazy person. I've seen the costume. No, but the question is like, cause so Toad. Yeah. Right. So what was the question?

How does superheroes get their name? Their superhero name. So obviously. Matches Malone. That's the name I was thinking of. So I guess Batman has two secret names. But you'll find Spider-Man, no secret names. Oh, he did have a secret, secret identity at one point.

The Amazing Bagman? And when he became like Ricochet and the Hornet and... When Ant-Man became Yellowjacket? Because when it was like, Spider-Man is sort of like, maybe potentially has committed a crime, so I'll create four other identities. But that's still not really a secret name,

because that's kind of just back to the question at hand, right? It's kind of like, as an aside, is a smart way to be a vigilante. Like, rather than be like, I'm not Batman, I'm several different other men. That's clever, actually. I'm Batman. I'm fucking the hyena.

Why are so many superheroes and villains care about branding? Because they could rebrand at any moment in time. Yes, I'm Spider-Man. Yes, I'm a wall crawler. Yes, I am the... Because all he has to do is... The webbing is his own invention.

Invent something else. Absolutely. Change the colour of the webbing. That's enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make it blue. Make it so it doesn't stick together and look like web. I am the human bug. Yeah, or I'm puffer fish.

It's weirder when a villain does it. It's weird that fucking the rhino, I guess he's got his rhino suit. Because he's stuck in the suit. Maybe rhino's a bad choice. Bad choice. Green goblin. Oh, no, he runs a business. No, but also, if they're committing crimes, who cares? Like, if you're being a bad choice. Bad choice. Green Goblin. Oh, no, he runs a business. No, but also, if they're committing crimes, who cares?

Like, if you're being a bad blo- Okay, let's take, like, Batroc the Leaper. Who the fuck is that? Who's, like, a villain of Cap America. He was in, like, The Winter Soldier, I think. He just kicked a lot. Cool. But I think the comic book, maybe he's got super jumping.

Cool. Maybe. Or maybe a suit where he can super jump yeah maybe i don't know basically he leaps around a bit like a dickhead yeah so him being like yeah just just just what if i wore all green call myself the grasshopper yeah exactly what if i call yeah but i guess with a lot of super villains like they're disfigured and that's where they get their name from is the problem like if you're if you're red skull you can't start calling yourself something different because they're gonna be like you're red skull you get that fucking skull face well because i was thinking like say because matt

murdoch aka daredevil the reason he calls himself daredevil is because that was what the kids used to pick on him and bully him and call him when he was younger they used to call him daredevil like like a cruel name which to me isn't it's a weird thing you know what i mean like they're calling him that because he's blind and clumsy no because he i think because he used to just do whatever he wanted like he used to be a bit of a daredevil like it's a cool nickname but he was like they mocked me and called me a daredevil oh my god was he shy if he was shy i get it no but if he was a daredevil because he was a daredevil I think he was a daredevil that's on comic books of being fucking dumb

or is this like is a daredevil something like back in the like what the 60s or 70s that meant something completely different no one likes being called a daredevil they are uncouth that's weird that's why he named himself daredevil

it's funny that it could have been any bullied nickname, and he would have... They called me Tiny Pean. That's who I shall be. Nerd cunt. Spider-Man Homecoming is like, I am the amazing Penis Parker.

That'll show the bullies. Watch out, it's the amazing penis. It's also really sad that that means Matt Murdock, when he becomes Daredevil as an adult, it's like, that'll show those bullies. Does he go up to them and he's like, who's the Daredevil now?

Also, I'd just like to point out that if you're using a name that used to get bullied as your secret identity, pretty easy to put the... It's like if he's like, hey, I'm Penis Barker. They're like, oh my god, that's Peter Barketer barker penis parker's a pretty special yeah yeah yeah i mean let's say he just called himself the sensational penis so uh sans pants alumni adam carnavale in in primary school was called adam fardinale so if he would like the amazing fardinale people would probably figure it out well actually it's funny that we mention this because like oh it's a bit sad they've held on to that

we've only known Adam as an adult and he's told us that story a lot so I guess you do hold on to that stuff I guess you do in his formative years you're kind of like what did I get picked on what did they call me well I would just be the douche which looked creative and also never really hurt my feelings because I was like yeah alright

because you got the douche which is unfortunately you're not a hero you're a villain creative and also never really hurt my feelings because I was like, yeah, alright. But that's alright because you got the douche, which is, unfortunately you're not a hero, you're a villain. Yeah. And you have a lot of water themed powers. Nah, like Doi Zama just decided you were a villain. No, no hero is called the douche. Ah, that's fair. That's a good point. That's my point. He's got you there, you're a bad guy.

I also got called Jay Dizzle. See, Jay Dizzle, that's the hero. That's a bit weird to say you and you're like, I'm Jay Dizzle. I'm like, I don't know if that's appropriate. I'm trying to think, what about the Dizzle, that's the hero. That's a bit weird to say you, and you're like, I'm Jay Dizzle. I'm like, I don't know if that's appropriate. I'm trying to think, what about the Dizzler? I feel like Jay Dizzler or the Dizzler, he's like, you're a white man with dreads. Yeah. The Dizzler, though, I'm like, can you Dizzle for me?

Watch me Dizzle. I'm trying to think what I was... I wasn't that bullied, surprisingly. Nobody ever really, you know... People threw slurs at me, but I'm not going to call myself that. That's also very textbook bullying. The difference is, it was the same with me. People tried to, but... Because it didn't land, I don't feel like that I was bullied.

I don't think I'm going to be like, Watch out, villains, it's me, the gay drama kid. Yeah, exactly. That's a pretty good name. Now that I think about it, I'm all in. That's pretty cool. Watch out, it's gay drama. Yes, it's me, gay drama.

The streets fear him. He's a villain for some reason? Like a real scary violent one. But this name doesn't suit at all! I was expecting someone camping fun! He just breaks my arms and legs! I'm so scared

of him! I've noticed you haven't delivered the gay drama his money today. Give me your fingers! I'm gonna break them all one by one. Time for the gay drama to have a round of golf on your kneecaps. This doesn't match your

theme! Why did you call yourself that? I was bullied. That's no excuse. Have you heard of Daredevil? That was his excuse. I hate this scene! Whack! Whack, whack. So that's one way I guess you get your name.

You're like, what cruel thing do kids call me? I'm that. That's me. Or if we look at, say, the mutants, like as you're saying with Toad, it's like you look like a green, small, gross thing. You leap and you have a long tongue. Did your mum maybe, I don't know, get cursed or something? I always find Toad so rude because, yes, he looks like a toad,

but he's not a toad. Toad never got bit by a radioactive toad. Toad never fucking got inhaled toad fumes or anything. No, he didn't. Hoffed a toad. He didn't huff a toad. He didn't chuck a toad in a bag, huff the shit out of it. With a cursed toad.

He didn't do any of those kind of things. He just is a guy who is pretty sticky. He just has a toad. He didn't chuck a toad in a bag, huff the shit out of it and be like, oh. With a cursed toad. He didn't do any of those kind of things. He just is a guy who is pretty sticky. He's just like, has a long tongue. Your mutant power is you're sticky leap and you have a long tongue. You could have been called, you can't call him the frog. I mean, you could have called him the frog. Frog is a lot nicer than toad. Yeah, frog is nicer. Maybe, ugh.

Cane? Cane? Out of cane toad? You can imagine cane is a better name. Stick Toad. It sounds tougher. It does sound tougher. But if you call him Toad. I'm Kane Toad.

You like, drop the Toad, Kane. Because if he's Toad, but also like, he's born to be a villain under like a sleazebag one. Because imagine if you're calling someone Toad, they're going to be like, yeah, give me a kiss, I'll turn into a prince. But did Toad call himself Toad? Or was he like, Magneto's like, welcome to the brotherhood. Toad fuck.

Toadling guy Toad. All right. Okay. You're in the Brotherhood of the Immutants or Brothers of the Mutants. You come across. You yourself have this immutability. You can leap pretty far than most other people. You have a giant tongue that it's a parental and you can like, you know,

flick it around. It's quite useful. You also kind of sneaky, you know, attack people with it, flick it around. It's quite useful. You're also kind of sneaky. You know, because of the X-Men and other people like that, these costume crusaders as they were, that they have nicknames or code names. What do you call yourself? Because your real name is Mortimer. I don't call myself that. Well, am I a villainous? Nowous now look you're not villainous it's you because you yourself

don't see yourself as a villain if i'm villainous i just call myself mortimer because if you're a villain use your real name yeah yeah if you're like i'm toad i'm gonna be like lime yeah uh like i'm mortimer well let's let's say um you know you're know, you are Toad in this situation, and you're not the villain in your own story. Yeah, I'm the protagonist. You're looking for, you know, mutant rights. Am I the only human being that's the villain in my own story instead of the protagonist?

No, I feel like I see myself as the antagonist of the world. A Skeletor type, if you will. No, surely, like, there's surely bad blokes that are like i'm a bad bloke i think everyone thinks they're a good bloke in their core because like i think so because it's kind of like even if you look at say maybe serial killers or so those people that are kind of like you know they're too far gone i'm talking like jordan bellman or whatever his name is belford wolf of wall street all right yeah yeah i'm, who the hell is Jordan Bellman? Jordan Bellmont?

Jordan Belford? Fuckhead. That's what I call him. Yeah, he probably sees himself. But does he see himself as a villain? Is he like, I, the genius, played the system? I think he sees himself as he used to be the villain and now is the good guy.

Because he gives inspirational speeches. Sell me this pen. Yeah. No. It's my pen now sell me this pen no it's my pen now that's stealing that's how i made my millions why do we just like what what what's the lesson here everyone's just really confused like am i meant to be listening to the guy that pretended to steal the pen? I'm like, what is it?

Did he pretend to steal the pen or has he actually stolen the pen? And I'm rich in pens? Actually. And how's he doing? I imagine. Okay, he's like, sell me this pen. Take the pen. I don't have a pen.

Give me another pen. And he keeps doing that. Sorry, I lost the pen. I'm fresh out of stock. Sorry, yeah. Pre-order one. He's like, I lost the pen. I'm fresh out of stock. Sorry, yeah. Pre-order one. He's like, I think you're missing this metaphor. I can take as many pre-orders as you like.

Anybody want to pre-order a pen? Payment up front. Payment up front. Only $1 deposit. I do have some pens. As you can see with this pen in my top pocket, this one's not for sale. It's a display model.

The metaphor is totally lost. You just destroy an entire seminar. Make millions as a pen salesman. I kind of want to go to one of his speeches now and just see what happens. Yeah, see what you're capable of. No. Give us a pen.

Give us another one. I want a blue one. I would like more pens, please. But yes, if you're Toad. So you're Toad and you come up and Magneto's like, look, I need you. Look, we can't just call yourself. What's like more pants, please. But yes, if you're Toad... So you're Toad, and you come up, and Megiddo's like, look, I need you... Look, we can't just call yourself...

What's your name? Mortimer. Mortimer, yeah. We have to have a code name. Again, I'd be like, why? Yeah. I don't want it. But let's assume we have to have code names.

Those were the names that your human suppressors gave you. This is where we're taking it back, so you make your own name. You choose who you are and who you want to be called. I think I would be aware obviously that I am Toad-like. But I wouldn't want to be Toad.

I'd call myself maybe the Amphibian. See, that's cool. Couldn't I just be like, can I be Killstreak? Yeah. But do you think Magneto will look at Toad and be like, yeah, you can be Killstreak. I'd be like, why Killstreak? And then you just Glock him. And then you turn to the room and you're like, anyone else got any questions? It's my brotherhood now.

Well, you Glocked Magneto, he would have stopped the bullet. Turns it around, shoots you. This guy was Toad. All right, everyone? He's dead now. He was Toad, now he's brains. Toad in life, Toad in death. He's dead now He was turned, now he's brains Okay So say you're not Say Dusha, your mutant ability is You've grown a mane

And you have fangs like a lion And a lion's tail Zamit, you've got a dolphin's body But your head Can he walk on his flippers? No, he has to be in a tank It's sand Yep And I have snakes for arms Can he walk on his flippers? No, he has to be in a tank. It's sand.

Yep. And I have snakes for arms. Okay. And we join the brotherhood. And Magneto's like, what's your- So we're all fucking villains now. Yeah, good. Magneto's like, what's your name? What are you going to say?

Fucking main man. You can't- You're going to- Main man. I'm the main man. You just took- This is meant to have a main man. I'm the main man. This is meant to be my naming story, and you've taken it from me. I think that happens to a lot of villains. Okay, you choose.

What are you going to be? No, see, it doesn't matter because you're going to call me main man. I don't think you can choose your own name. I think exactly what just happened is what happened. A lot of heroes and villains are named in the press. Like Spider-Man, depending where you're going to take this sort of canon from. If it's bloody the wrestler announcer or if it's J.J. to Jameson being like Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah.

So, again, it has to be someone else. It's kind of like nicknames. Yeah, yeah. We're not talking about just being bullied, like a bullied name, but a nickname, because it's very hard for you to make your own nickname. That's true. Because, again, I used to have a friend of mine in high school. First name was Aaron, and he used to have Ace, like a card Ace.

I hate this story. And basically, he just always wanted to be called Ace. No one called him Ace. And then someone came in several years later's just, like, always wanted to be called Ace. No one called him Ace. And then someone came in, like, you know, several years later into school, like, transferred. He's like, oh, my name's, like, John, but everyone calls me Ace. We're like, no worries, Ace. Aaron died inside. But nicknames can go the other way.

Because my friend in high school, Aaron, called himself, out of nowhere one day when he was drinking, he just started referring himself as A-Mags. Yeah. And that's stuck. That's stuck because you know what was there? Drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he probably was pretty casual about it.

He was not casual about it. But is there a difference between being like, I'm A-Mags now or him buying a jumper that says A-Mags on it? Because that's all cuff link boy right there. Yeah, that's true. Also, he used to change A to whatever he was, so like he once was very drunk and he called himself Dead Mags. See, that's good.

See, I'm into that. But I think also sometimes you probably don't get, like I'm thinking about Dolphin Zaman. You probably just don't get a chance to nickname. You can't fight that. Yeah, again, a lot of these things you have to accept. Like, you can't call yourself I am Snake Pit. No, we're going to call you Snake Pit.

But the thing is... Snake Pits. Yes. Snake Pits. Snake Pits is a pretty cool name. In fact, when you hear Snake Pit, you're going to be a bit... Snake Pits. Snake Pits.

With two S's at the end. Two S's, two snakes. Two S's, two snakes, two pits. Snake Pits. Yeah, piss. That's... You're gonna be like... Snake piss.

Say you're like an X-Man. They're like, oh, snake pits has got this fucking facility on the lockdown. Also, just a quick aside. I'd start a rumor that your dick was also a third snake. Yeah. You're like, there's actually three S's. The third S is for his wangas. It's just the head of a snake, though.

The head of his penis is the head of a snake. Does it have a throat? I don't like to think about it. Who knows, but we don't want to think. Jackson shits all the snake's shits. I would. So the snake's digestive system has to be connected to my snake. It's a cerebral esophage.

The snake eats a whole mouse. Can you breathe? That's one of my mutant abilities. I can breathe? Out the snake? Out the snake? Yeah, that's one of my mutant abilities. I can go underwater, and as long as I keep a snake head above water, But then it means the other snake drowns and dies. I have to keep all three snakes above water.

You can only do backstroke. Including your dog. That one I can put a scuba on, or something. I just like the idea of one of my snakes eating a mouse, and I'm like, I can't use that arm today, it's digesting. Can you see from them as well? I guess so. Yes.

Well, if I'm shitting their shit, I better be seeing out their eyes. Hey, guys, did you hear about Snake Pits? He has three snakes, but one drowned tragically. That snake was his penis. He can't fuck or piss. It's dead. It is dead on his body. But imagine you hear snake pits.

Yeah. You're like, that sounds like a scary guy, like a venom themed guy. And then I come at you with snakes flailing. Well, that's more on you for flailing. And making that noise. I imagine the snakes are fairly independent of me. That's bad. They're just biting.

Oh, no. You're a... Ow! You're also a... You flail your arms, so I feel like you'd kill the snakes by just accidentally snapping their spines. Or just smacking one into a wall. Oh, shit. I got a dead arm.

And then we have, like, main man. Yeah. A name I don't fucking want. We'd assume you were the party animal. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, the main man. Main man, and then, like i don't want oh no we'd assume you were the party animal yeah i'd be like oh the main man main man and then be like the party animal yeah that's his full name main man the party animal this name is getting worse i just like you hear main man you're like hey main man like i imagine like maybe you and me's amit superheroes were at like the facility we're like main man and then you come out with a main and we we're like, Can I shave the mane into a mullet?

Because if so, then I'm very on board with mane men. Make your name mean less. Imagine the mullet's going all down his back. Now that's cool. Also, you still have a lion's mouth. Zamet, on the other hand. I don't know. I don't know if I'd name you.

I might just keep you in a tank Fishboy, the blowhole Dolphin Dan Are you scared? I mean, yes Great question I mean, if I'm just a dolphin body in my face I'm like, I'm terrified of life

What's fucked up is that a mutant ability develops Do I speak or do I just chirp? No, you get your head I'm like, I'm terrified of life. What's fucked up is that a mutant ability develops. Do I speak or do I just chirp? No, you get your head. Okay. I'm underwater, so... You could probably swim to the surface and be like, hey, can someone chuck a hamburger in here or something? Oh, it's wet.

Everyone just likes to feed me fish, but I don't like fish. I still have a human's taste buds. But like a dolphin's, you know what? For health reasons. Yeah, I look a fish. And raw buds. But like a dolphin's. You know what? For health reasons. Yeah, look at fish. And raw is better, but I hate it. Sushi's good, but I guess without.

So I guess a lot of sashimi. Yeah, I guess get rid of the rice. I like the rice. I now imagine you kidnapped by one of those big rich supervillains and just kept in a fish tank behind his chair. You know what? That's all right. You know what?

I'm just going to call you Sushi. You know, that's fine. Sushi. There he is. Yeah, look. I'm sad. Sad Sushi. Imagine you called in front of...

Sushi the sad. Sad Sushi. Hey, Magneto, it's me. You're wearing a jacket that just says S-S. Oh, no. Magneto's like, what's that for? No, no, no. Sad Sushi. Sad Sushi. Sad Sushi No no no I'm sorry look I take it off But my last

Owner I guess put it on me As a gag I don't even really like the name Sushi But I am just sad That bit's right I just really like to imagine you Swimming behind like a Bond style villain And the James Bond type like seeing your face being like,

and the villain being like, ah, I see you're admiring my sad sushi. Please, Bond, feel free to feed him. Yeah, look, burgers would be nice, but I mean. It's bad for the diet Imagine the Bond villain Dropping Bond in Being like

He'll tear you apart You just swim up You're like I'm not gonna eat a guy Yeah look Again Again Mouth of a human

I don't know if you know this But humans don't really Tear other men Or women Limb from limb There's James Bond Just climbing out of the tank. Yeah, look.

This was a strange plan. If you've got any fish, I'll... Please shut that man free. Again, I don't really have the beak of a dolphin to eat a fish whole, so you can just cut it up for me. And I don't have the dexterity of a man with thumbs. I have flippers, so I can't actually cut up my food. cut it up for me and i don't have the i don't have the dexterity of a man with thumbs i have flippers so i can't actually cut up my food so i love the idea of some like greenpeace

style people being like we gotta put him back in the scene you're like no no no i'm a man who became a dolphin not a dolphin who became a man man no no no no please please uh go free fuck it i'm beach i'm beating myself. I don't care. That's what I'm doing. His last words were, put me down. Imagine a little kid making a sandcastle. Wave rolls in. You're like, boom!

Kid, call the cops. Kid, kid. Give a sandwich? Give a sandwich. Feed me, call the cops. I need to go home. That's a catchphrase. Feed me, call the cops. I need to go home. My goodness. That's a catchphrase Sad sushi

Feed me call the cops I need to go home My goodness Sad sushi is this head of Sushi there I'm scared of his antagonist Harpoon man I'm gonna eat that fucking man Dolphin

The most delicious game of all Dolphin man F, yes. Just a man. The most delicious game of all. Dolphin man flesh. I'm mostly dolphin. Unless you're going to eat my face. Are you going to eat my face? That's weird. Where's my neck?

Do I have a neck? No. In my mind, it's looking up. Let me draw what I've got in here. Ah, yes. Plumbing the Death Star arts and crafts. Head like this. Yep. Neck. Head like this. Yep.

Neck. Dolphin body. A dolphin body with a leg. I guess I have a bit of a neck, so I've got some mobility. A neck, but it just goes into, like, flat dolphin. Like, you've cut a... Are you going to draw? Are you going to take a photo? I'm going to take a photo, because I know people are going to ask for this.

Yeah. Look, you can look that up. That's what I imagine sad sushi looking like. I'll just quickly add a sad face. Yeah, and give it damn its beard. Oh, I forgot I have a beard.

And chuck on the jacket. I'm real bad at drawing. Remember, he's got a jacket on that says SS, which stands for sad sushi, but everyone thinks he's a Nazi. Everyone's like,

God, there's a man dolphin. And he's a Nazi, I guess. Oh, I guess the uh captain america coming to be like i'll stop you you're like i'm not a nazi please take this jacket off it's like oh i see the uh nazi experimented on dolphins as well there's nothing sacred you nazi dolphin scum no i'm just a guy i'm so look yeah look i i thought the brotherhood of mutants was i didn't realize that there was some evil overtones. I just...

Look, to be honest, I wasn't there. My good friend, Snake Pits, he just wheeled me there. I didn't want to go. I couldn't feed you because every time I tried to feed you, my snakes tried to bite you. Just don't punch me in the... Ah, you punched me in the face. I'm sorry, man.

I'm trying. That's very good. I wrote your catchphrase. But I think I fucked up the order, but that's fine. Call the cops? Yeah. No, that was pretty... Hey, kid.

Feed me. Call the cops. I need to go home. That's basically it. That's sad sushi. Yeah. So, yeah. So, I'm not happy with the nickname either.

Because saying sushi is a fish, I'm a... I'm a dolphin. I'm actually a mammal. I'm a mammal. Apart from being like... I'm not even a dolphin. I'm not happy with the nickname either because saying sushi is a fish, I'm a dolphin, I'm a mammal. Apart from being like, I'm not even a dolphin, I'm a man with the body of a dolphin. It's not actually a dolphin's body, it just resembles one superficially.

Honestly, dolphins, they are mammals anyway, so I just feel I guess the people that made this were rude. I like to imagine Captain America just shifting it back into the sea. One of those like tarps you have for like move dolphins. Like, yeah, look, it's one of those things. I just feel it was

very rude of them to be the people that kind of made this. They just seem so ill-informed and I just don't know why we're going. Cool, sad sushi. Yeah, good. I'm so tired now. Cool. I can't even sleep normally. I kind of have a brain of a dolphin. Anyway, I gotta go. But also my food's here, so I've got to go.

Quick time out in the episode, but leave this in. Keep going. I just need to grab some food. All right, no worries. I'm just going to grab some food. But you also have the press. That's another one where the press see you and they just give you a name and that's it. Well, that's the thing.

You think about this now in our real world, like those big mysteries or those kind of things, or even serial killers like again jack the ripper that was was that his name or did someone i think they called him that was like a zodiac killer yeah yeah same thing he had like a zodiac symbol somewhere on him i'd have been on the letters on his mask and everyone's like the zodiac killer uh as long as like the son of sam did he he signed off i think he signed off son of sam but yeah a lot a lot of serial killers are just named by what the press decides to call them, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack the Ripper, named famously after the fact his name was Jack. Mm-hmm. Hi, I'm back. That was the worst entrance joke I've ever made. Sure was. But yeah, also, it's like, even just the area, like, you know, the Bay Area Killer, those kind of things.

Oh, that's kind of cool, though, because imagine if Toad was, like, the Bay Area Mutant. Oh, yeah, that's all right. Do you know what? Area Killer those kind of things oh that's kind of cool though because imagine if Toad was like the Bay Area Mutant oh yeah that's alright do you know what also that's good you'd call him Bam for short hey that is good Bam Margera for long you're back

but that's not a bad way of like naming yourself to be like after the place you were. Because if you look at Batman, instead of being Batman, what if he was just like the Gotham Knight? Yeah, yeah. See, that'd be all right. Gotham Knight is a better name than Batman. He's a superhero called Gotham.

But if Batman wasn't... Sorry. I just want to entertain this. It's some foolish comment. So a guy called Gotham... Why? You sound drunk every time you do it. A guy called Gotham.

Why? You sound drunk every time you do it. They arrive in Gotham, and they've done some fucking wickety-whack where they can activate themselves to give themselves superpowers, but the superpowers are, like, fucked powerful, like, take out Superman powerful,

but it takes a year off their life every time they do it. They only need to kill Superman once. Yeah, well, exactly. But they just start to protect Gotham, but then Gotham himself, he fucking dies for some reason, and Gotham goes left alive. And to protect Gotham, but then Gotham himself, he fucking dies for some reason and Gotham goes left alive. And she's real powerful,

but every time she does it, her life expectancy gets lower and lower and lower. They're pretty boring as characters, honestly. No, fair enough. That was a good side note. I'm glad you all joined me for it. He could have just been like, there was a superhero named Gotham and I'd be like, that's not Gotham Knight, and then we would have moved on. But here

we are. I was curious I was wondering who was interesting this is an interesting fact I really hope it's not I hope it's a boring one know the most the most metal serial killer title ever servant girl annihilator that's fucked I read about the servant girl annihilator it is was she a servant girl that

annihilated people it was an annihilator of servant girls unfortunately but the reverse happened in well not quite the reverse at all um so this is a sad story that has kind of a cool ending i'm excited yeah so i think it was i might get the details wrong um but basically i think it was mexico there was a really high rate of sexual assault and sex crimes against women happening on So I think it was, I might get the details wrong. But basically, I think it was Mexico. There was a really high rate of sexual assault and crimes against women happening on buses by bus drivers. And so one lady put on a blonde wig and then just shot two bus drivers in the head. And then that stopped.

Bus driver annihilated. Well. Fuck, she's got a name, but I can't remember. I could look it up. I hope it is bus driver. It's nice. I hope all serial killers, or not serial killers, but I can't remember. I could look it up. I hope it is bus driver. It's nice. Me too. I hope all serial killers, or not serial killers, but anybody who does a murder is called a

whatever they murdered annihilator. That'd make me not happy. It'd make the world interesting, I guess. Slave girl annihilator is such a sad name, but if it was a slave girl that was like, Servant, yeah. If it was a servant girl that had broken free of her shackles. And was annihilating. Killing the rich.

Yeah. I think if you get your nickname from the press, you have no chance of changing it. No. That's a rebranding thing. Yeah. If you were like, again, Spider-Man, but you're like, actually, it wasn't a spider, it was a bug.

And if you look at the symbol, it's six legs. It's, yeah. It's... Yeah. There's a spider menace. I guess I'm Spider-Man. Yeah, I guess I'm going to add some extra legs to my fucking symbol. Go to the tailor, add that in, and I guess I'll invent webbing. Yeah, because that's the thing. If you've chosen a nickname for yourself...

The Hunter of Boss Drivers. That's a pretty sick name. That's a very cool name. If you've chosen... The Hunter. That's a good name. Yeah. If you've chosen the name yourself, then the good name yeah if you've chosen the name yourself

then the press takes it off you that has got to be the worst situation if i'm like say i've got snake arms and i call myself venom yeah and i'm like fuck yeah i'm venom and i understand there's a venom as well but he's got nothing to do with actual venom so like i'm venom yeah yeah and then i go and i'm like look out citizen it's meom I'm here to fucking rob a bank But then the press is like, it's Snake Arms McGillicuddy I can't I can't take that back Next time you go out, just wear a sign that says That's not my name

People will be confused I feel the press will double down That's not my name, man That's not my name, man A.K.A. Snake Arms McGillicuddy It's also confusing because like superheroes and something we haven't quite touched on like she did when i went to go get food superheroes often put their name on their chest yeah yeah absolutely yeah superman has a big s or the kryptonian symbol

for hope and why isn't he called hope man yeah surely surely how did superman get his name was it the press again i think it was was. It sounds like it might have been Mario Kart. Is that some kind of Superman? Imagine that, because eventually... I wish that was a scene in the movie. I wish it was too. I'm so upset that we didn't get in the Justice League movie

like, what are we, some kind of League of Justice? It's a shock we didn't, frankly. In Batman v Superman, they say say something not quite like that but they're like we need to form a league or a team that's a lex luthor at the end he's like oh let's form a league of our own clever making a league of extraordinary gentlemen extraordinary gentlemen yes all right sorry um sam neill Gentleman. Yes. All right. Sorry. I'm going to say Sam Neill. That's what he's saying. The link of Sam Neill.

Sam Neill's amazing comic book. Sean Connery was the name I was looking for, but my brain said Sam Neill. A movie so good it killed his career. Yeah. Forced him into retirement. We should have been Sam Neill. I just think Sam Neill would have made that movie great. Yeah. Sam Neill plays old Mr. McGregor in the new Peter Rabbit movie, and it's weird.

That's just a fact for you Thanks man So with Superman If it was named by the press I don't know how Superman got his name Unless it's like man that guy is some kind of man But super If it was named to the press There's got to be a time

When that was going around And there's got to be that moment where he hears it, and he's like, oh, looks down at his ass. Oh, hey, that works. It's kind of cool. But then it's going to be that first time he introduces himself as, hi, I'm Superman. Yeah.

And I don't know, I don't care how powerful you are or what kind of, like, alien brain you have, but introducing yourself as Superman has's gotta be yeah weird and like i just couldn't do it i'm like hi i'm super hi i'm i'm just carl clark it's weird as well with superman because superman's all about like hey mankind you rule but i am the superman like i'm a better version of you yeah it's almost quite an entitled name i don't know if i like anything with something man is also i find very, very, very odd to tell yourself. Even like Iron Man. Because he's like,

I'm Iron Man. But then he's like, nah, I'm Tony Stark. But still call me Iron Man. It's cool. Yeah, that's weird. Iron Man makes sense in the Marvel Cinematic Universe because he likes Black Sabbath. So the name actually makes sense because he's like, like, you can see where he got the name from, if that makes sense.

But still, but if he's like, the moment Tony Stark's like i'm tony stark i would call him tony stock you know what i mean i am iron man yeah that's how the song goes iron man yeah he's just like singing that every time he's like blasting terror he spends most of the avengers movie wearing a black sabbath shirt he's also a fan of paper planes based on that but yeah like if tony it's like when peter parker is like hey everyone i'm i'm spider-man but i'm peter parker and he takes off his spider-man mask he's like i'm peter parker would you keep calling him spider-man or would you call him peter parker see there's a thing because it's weird because with iron man is probably a better example like Like, if you're friends with Tony Stark

and then he's like, I'm putting on my suit, you're like, I guess you'd go on as Iron Man. But yeah, I wouldn't. I'd just, like what all his friends do, they're like, hey, Tony. Yeah. I'd call him Tone. That's just me. I wouldn't talk to him. I'd call him Tobler Tone. Tobler Tone Borone. Is that a joke that's going to translate?

It'll translate for some people. I feel with Iron Man, unless that's his call sign, because basically he's a jet. Yeah. That's true. He is. So I feel he'd have to have some kind of like...

To come back to sort of like, do all pilots have nicknames? I think if you don't have a nickname, you're not a very good pilot. Look, my knowledge of pilots does come from Top Gun. Yeah. So I feel like- I would choose-

Or is choosing a call sign for yourself like a faux pas? Like how choosing a nickname for yourself is a faux pas? I don't know. You need to- With a nickname and if you have to call like get a call name for the same way, you need to like plant the seeds without outright saying it. Yeah. Exactly.

You got to be like wearing, wearing you know cufflink aces anyone i see wearing cufflink aces isn't getting the nickname ace is getting the nickname card boy nerd cunt watch out evil doers it's me nerd cunt i'm really showing the bullies with this one hey you don't talk about secret identities yeah which we kind of are you, you know, talk about secret identities. Yeah. Which we kind of are. You know when, like, Spider-Man reveals himself on the train? Yeah.

In Spider-Man 2. Yeah. And he's like, don't tell anyone. Tell them what. You know what I mean? No, that's the thing. That's the whole point with Spider-Man. He just looks like every guy. Yeah, but in that scene.

Well, he's like an every white man. That's true. That's true. I'm like, I know he's white. But, like, in that scene, when he reveals his face, everybody's like, well, keep your secrets, Spider-Man. What secret? Well, I guess not, like, publish his face. But if I go to a sketch artist

and be like, alright, so I want you to think of a plain white man, brown hair, kind of looks like he's sort of angry, but not sure why he's angry he's playing a teenager but he's not a teenager ever ever think of like all right you ever go to someone with elijah wood i could probably get him confused with this boy yeah you know jake gillenhall yeah that but mixed

with elijah wood a bit but like less handsome than Jake Gyllenhaal. Much less handsome. Imagine I'm going to go to... I've seen that. I'm on the train, Spider-Man. Everyone's like, I'll keep your secret, Spider-Man. You would. I'm like, no, I won't.

Yeah, what the fuck? I'm going to get my phone out and be like, this is going to make me fucking a mint. Click, click, click, click. But it's not the 90s, but the phones everybody has are like shitty flip phones

and nobody's taking a photo. So all I've seen is his face. And then I'm like, I'm going to take it to the prices. I go to J. Jonah James. Well, okay. I'm like, it's that guy. Hey, J. Jonah, what? Your photographer is him.

You got something to tell me? Let's go racing. That's Spider-Man. But say I go to a different newspaper, and I'm like, I know's Spider-Man. But say I go to a different newspaper and I'm like, I know who Spider-Man is. And they're like, holy shit, who is he? I'm like, some guy. Some guy.

I saw his face. What did he look like? He was white, he had brown hair. That's no help to us, Jackson. His hair looked like it had been cut by a barber, but not a good barber. Yeah. I mean, like, it would make sense, that scene,

if Spider-Man had been trying to convince everybody that he was really a spider under there. good barber yeah i mean like it would make sense that scene if spider-man had been trying to convince everybody that he was really a spider under there you know what i mean like if he was like ah the spider-man and i'm actually underneath this i look like a spider and then the reveal is that he's human i think they have camera phones yeah but the more i think about it do they take photos of him i nevertheless this is spider-man who's that no good you just published their face and then again in the you know in i guess in our world of like facebook and twitter and social media you can be like oh yeah that dickhead yeah we know he is here's all his information all right i'm gonna hack into his account i'm gonna kill his aunt that was a leap from just a photograph

yeah if someone shows you a photo you can easily kill their aunt. Yeah. A couple of steps, one, two, you're aunt dead. That's how it goes down. 100%. I guess. Maybe if Spider-Man, as he's coming to, he's like, my name is Peter Parker,

I live at this address. Don't kill my aunt. She's like a mother to me because my real mum's dead. Oh my god, I'm awake on this train. But you have access to, like, nowadays facial recognition technology. That's true. That's true. Well, yeah, nowadays, that scene would make a lot of sense. Back then,

I feel like it's very weird. I feel like there's, like, an implication that it makes sense, but I don't think it does. If you took a photo of that guy, like a maskless-speaking Spider-Man, you'd sell that to the press. You'd sell that to the tabloids, be like, who is this man? You would then have investigative journalists going around being like, have you seen this man? Who is this man?

I suppose. You would have an investigation, if not the police. I don't remember anyone taking a photo of him, though. I'm not saying they probably didn't, but I would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would do that. Absolutely. I like the idea of someone taking a photo and posting it on their shitty MySpace page.

And people are like, okay, that's a weird photo, but cool. I think there's a merit there to keep your identity secret. Because, obviously, he's afraid. Because what if someone knows him, who he is? You know what I mean? On that train? Those people on the... What are the odds?

Okay, well, they're very rare, but they would be, like, say something. You could be like, oh, I've seen... Like, I don't know, not that. Like, if I see someone on the train that I don't know but i'd be like ah i know that i know someone that knows them kind of thing like if you've been to a party or whatever i think you see spider-man with his mask on for like 10 minutes maximum puts his mask back on goes off spider-man the odds you're gonna see him again and right you look fair enough so slick but that's just like again um going back to more like names of one what if you get, losing Spider-Man is a good example.

What if after, say, five years, you kind of get sick of that? Yeah. Again, rebranding. Absolutely. You can rebrand. Surely. I mean, he's tried. Who has other than the Wasp keeps rebranding?

Does she? Yeah. Wasp is like a million different people. She's like fucking, she changed her costume all the time as well, doesn't she? She changed her costume, but she's always the wasp. It's the Ant-Man who's like, I'm Ant-Man, I'm Yellow Jacket, I'm Giant-Man, I'm Goliath. Yeah, fair. I'm a wife beat a piece of shit scum.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They always, it's funny that Ant-Man always changes, like he doesn't really rebrand. He's like, I'm Giant-Man. No, no, no, I'm Goliath. He like, means the same thing. You could have said Goliath, really. Yeah. To be honest, the only place you can, I think, rebrand in a way that is going to be not obvious to the people,

so you keep your identity secret, is probably, like, if you're just super strong. You know what I mean? Super durable. Batman could probably rebrand. Yeah, Batman could rebrand. But Spider-Man, I feel like, couldn't. I feel Spider-Man could. I mean, he has.

Again, because he made, like, four different identities. Yeah. To, sort of, like, using some of his abilities and like his technology i guess knowledge i feel like i'd still know it was spider-man the moment he climbs a wall i'm like well like so many like what if he walks up a wall he walks up a wall i don't know it's spider-man if he climbs a wall like he uses web at any point i'm like oh yeah spider-man's in town he doesn't use a web like he'll go like all right so example, one of them he uses, he's called Ricochet. Yeah. He uses bullets.

He uses little gold things that kind of bounce all over the place. So, he uses his spider sense more and he's leaping around and doing that. Okay. Did you just get bored of being Spider-Man? Again, I think Spider-Man was... Was there a bad Spider-Man? No, there was a Spider-'re like he's done a murder and so spider-man decided or peter parker decided to do off become for other heroes okay to try to

investigate and clear spider-man's name the bombastic because i guess he missed being spider-man i would be like fuck it i guess that i sequenced that he is bust in the goes in the bin well i think about as ricochet kill a guy i'm like i killed spider-man yeah if you i mean it's a bit much for spidey but spider-man what the hell that's crazy but also you know so say you're a mutant yeah you get your mutant abilities as a teenager at a teenager if you're choosing your name then it is gonna be bad this is why i think but look at anyone's email address and i At a teenager, if you're choosing your name then, it is gonna be bad. This is why I think a lot of them... Look at anyone's email address

if you know it's a teenager. Yeah, that's your superhero identity right there. No, thank you. Your hot legs... No, that's not even... That's even too silly. I'm hot male at hot male. Now, that's alright. It's the hot male. Boom!

And his good friend, main man. But that's why I think a lot of the... Borat is the greatest movie ever made, underscore 1991. Exactly. That's why I think a lot of the superhero names cannot be named by you. You have to be named by someone else. Like, say, Cyclops. I guess that has to be a cruel nickname that someone gave him.

Yeah, did Professor X... Well, then why did they call him Cyclops? Because he had two eyes. Yeah, Cyclops is the weirdest nickname for Cyclops. No, the only way it makes sense is if Professor X gave it to him. It has to. Because he would have to get it after the visor.

I always thought Bullseye would be a much better name for Cyclops. Yeah. Surely. Yeah. Bullseye works so much better. Hot Eyes is good as well. Red Eye, mate.

Red Eye, like the flight. I'd go in pink eye. Oh, who bloody farted in your head, mate? That's what I'd say to him. And then he'd laser me. And then he'd be a murderer, and he'd have to join the Brotherhood. Yeah. It makes sense if Professor X names them, because they are all pretty lazy nicknames.

That seems like the kind of thing Professor X would do. I feel he does. I don't know. Beast. So, hey, Professor, so I've got big hands and big feet, and I can leap around a bit. Beast. Beast? I don't really look like a beast.

I'm a good guy. Have you ever seen that drawing that someone does, and it's like, here's where all of the sensitive parts of the human body are. Like a sexual homunculi looking thing? We'll call you homunculus. Well, no, because if it's Professor X,

like what I just did there. Like, if they don't like the name, he can just be like, now you do. Yeah, exactly. I guess, oh, that's, okay. Okay, so like that. Although. Iceman, yes yes you told it to

ice and you're a boy ice man done done next question pride picks a name though that's true she and she picks sprite and it doesn't stick no she's like i hated it i'm doing this now yeah and well jean gray gets to be jean gray marvel girl marvel girl was that when did she become jean gray uh i think after ages she's like i hate this hate this. So, like, just call me Jean Grey. But everyone was basically calling her Marvel Girl. And she's had, like, Marvel Girl and Phoenix. Yeah, she has been Phoenix. That's fair.

And yeah, Kitty Pryde was Sprite and then Pepsi. No, I can't remember. She did have another name, though. Yeah, yeah. Pepsi's a pretty good name, actually, for a superhero. What about just Piss? Yeah, I think that's all right. If you're a villain and your name's just Piss

I'd be afraid I'd be scared of Piss I don't know what Piss is capable of Exactly Does he have Piss powers? Doesn't matter Even if he just Hi, I'm Piss and I'm gonna break your fucking legs

Ariel as well was her name Yeah, that's right I think you can choose Like, I mean I think some of them choose I think Kitty Pryde is a good example Because I think she was given the opportunity to choose her name. Yeah.

And so she was like, well, I'm going to be called Ariel. Then she's like, no, I'm going to choose Sprite. Yeah, yeah. And she decided Shadowcat. Captain America's an interesting one because he was named by the military. Was he ever a captain? Did he ever achieve that rank? Did he ever pilot a ship?

No. No. I don't think Captain America's ever been a captain. But he was named Captain America for the OSO for the oso shows or the yeah yeah the uso shows i don't know what it stands for yeah united states show show yes yes but like that's where he got his name and that just kind of stuck let's get through the the avengers all right so uh captain america he's called captain america because yeah that's because That was literally media branding That was just media branding

Then he's like I give up being Captain America So I'm going to call myself Nomad This is why we don't let you choose your own name Cap I hate America now Just call yourself Captain Not America You're an idiot Iron Man He's a big fan of Black Sabbath

And he's like this is thematically appropriate I'll choose this name It's not made of iron Isn't the first one kind of like an iron alloy? Not Yeah but when he calls himself Iron Man it's not I'm sad he didn't call himself Metal Man That just sounds silly

Hulk Who called him the Hulk? Well what is a Hulk? Well, hulking is, I think, a thing that, you know, like a hulking great behemoth. Because a Hulk was a prison ship back in the day. Oh. And it used to be like a prison Hulk. And that's where it sort of came from.

But I mean, is hulking a thing that sort of like, does that exist because of the comic book character? No, I don't think so. Are you sure? A hulking mask is surely a thing hulk yeah like a hulking surely hulking doesn't exist because of the hulk sure they refer to the hulk in the incredible hulk as like a hulking man or something yeah i'm looking it up hulk hulk etymology okay yeah old english fast ship reinforced uh your middle english by middle german and middle dutch hulk probably of mediterranean origin and relating to greek hulkus cargo ship it meant cargo ship that's so weird someone sees the hulk and they're like that reminds me of a quick ship oh did the name change can you get confirmation the name changed

because of a comic book? Because that's fucked. Comics shouldn't have that much power. Yeah, I think hulking probably... The name of a character created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby for the Marvel Comic Universe, it has since entered everyday English lexicon. The name itself is most likely derived from the same word hulk, which predates the existence of the character. And the hulk being a ship. That's very weird.

Holy shit, Stan Lee! You did it! You changed English language! That's very weird. Holy shit, Stan Lee, you did it. You changed English language. That's what I'm gathering from Wikipedia. Because now it simply means a person resembling, especially physically, the Hulk in the Marvel Comics universe. Or by extension, a strong man. When did Hulk, when was the first Hulk issue? Was it the 60s?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Hulk exists. Well, then him getting the name Hulk is so strange Hey did you see that man Looks like a fucking ship Looks like a quick fast ship

No it doesn't Yeah let's call him the Hulk The incredible Hulk We should call him Green Man We should actually not name him Abomination suits in battle Let's see. There was a big and possibly clumsy person is another definition,

and an excessively muscled person. But I'm trying to work out when that was. Yeah, I don't know if that came about because the Hulk is both those things. Yeah, okay. So, yeah, the etymology of Hulk is very... It's weird that he's called that. Yeah, that's very bizarre. So that's strange. That also means in the Marvel Cinematic Universe it's weird that he's called that. Yeah, that's very bizarre. So that's strange.

That also means in the Marvel Cinematic Universe it's fucked that they call him a Hulk because they're like, he's hulking, but hulking came from the Hulk. Like, he's a hulking great mass. I like to imagine Stan Lee read that and just got like a nosebleed. So that's the Hulk, which is an issue in and of itself. Yep. Who else have we got? The Hulk paradox. Falcon? Well, that's that's the hulk which is an issue of itself yeah um who else we got paradox yeah

uh falcon well that's simple he's wearing a suit that makes him falcon why was that the bird of choice why was he not seagull or crow well that's a good good question why was he not because he had like a red and white theme that makes zero sense yeah that's not what a falcon in the in the comic books is because he has like a psychic connection to an actual um falcon well see that's sick but uh yeah why would he be unless it was like one of those military things was like military code falcon x1 oh yeah that kind of stuff maybe that was the name of his wing like the the wherever they yeah yeah okay so if that's the case that kind of a lot of these make sense if

you look at it from a military point of view yeah yeah point of view where it's like these are code names or like the names that they're giving a um like a project like project iron man yeah it makes more sense than just call me iron man whatever project hulk yeah yeah we're making uh we're transporting uh large amounts of gamma from one area to another by sea. So we're going to do it by big ships. And oh no, that resulted in a man becoming a green thing. Let's call him Hulk. Yeah, sure.

That makes sense. Here's a confusing one from the Avengers. Vision. Yeah. Does he think of himself as a vision of the future? Is he called Vision because he can see? He's got good vision. Who names him Vision?

Does he come out and he's like, hello, yeah, I'm Vision. What's up? How you doing, everyone? I'm Vision. I'm going to have a cape like Thor. Sick. And on that note. We don't have enough sudden ends in the middle of a sentence.

That's very good. And on that note... We should do it more. Yeah, I know. Anyway, yeah, that's a hard one. It's a weird one, Vision. I don't have an answer, which is why I tried to end the episode. Either Iron Man, the moment he makes him, is like this guy's vision.

Here was my vision? Yeah. Did anyone have a vision of him when they made him? I guess, well, Tony Stark was like, this was my vision of the future, maybe. Oh, yeah, because he's Iron Man. Well, that's in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. How is he created in? He's still the son of Ultron.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, actually, that makes sense. Oh, no, because isn't he? He's a vision of the future. Yeah, Iron Man's ideal vision of what was meant to happen. It's still a weird way to get your name. There's still a leap of, like, you know, a logical leap there. Wanda, that's just her name.

No, Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch is weird. I guess she's doing magic, but not really. I'm like, I am doing magic, and I dress in red, so call me the Scarlet Witch. And again, she's Romanian, or, like, from, like, those kind of... Is she Romanian in the film? I think she's from, like, Soklovia, yeah. So in the, I guess, like, culturally?

Yeah, maybe there's something there, like in that kind of Slavic area or something. I don't... Quicksilver? I'm a metal, you shouldn't drink me. I'm a poisonous metal No you're not You're far Yep

Quicks in the title You know When I was down in Melbourne Like Australia And I saw this Real cool surfing brand And I was like What a cool name

Sort of based myself on that I'll do that Sick Yeah So that's like Yeah Quicksilver Is like

Was he thinking Well I'm fast And I'm quick and my hair is silver. Ah, Quicksilver. And his sister's like, that's a metal? Yeah, whatever. Who knows that? People don't know. That's not common, is it?

Hawk eyes weird. He's the eyes of a hawk. Yeah. Yeah. Again, that could be a nickname. He served the military. He was a sniper. He's like, fuck, man.

You got the eyes of a hawk. Yeah, yeah. And then he became codename Hawkeye. Yeah, that's true. That makes sense. Black Widow. Same kind of difference. Same kind of weird.

No, but Black Widow's strange. Was she a honeypot? Yeah, because that's the only thing. Because a Black Widow is a spider that people know it as, the spider that eats when the dudes finish banging. Yeah. But also it's implied that she used to. So she used to be a honeypot?

Kind of. Or at least, like, would seduce, use powers of seduction to murder. Okay, well, that's fine. That's just kind of like Hawkeye. They're like, that's what you're good at, so that's going to be your animal nickname. Although that's weird to be like, I'm going to, like, lean into that and me call myself the black widow because it's basically calling yourself honeypot yeah yeah yeah it's a bit odd that it's stuck around when clearly he was just a super spy but she's like guys i'm more than just seducing yeah yeah for fuck's sake well then that probably shows how she's so good at it

people are still talking she's like i okay all right you were the best honeypot we ever had this is this is borderlining on uncomfortable you and roldal are the best honeypot we ever had. This is borderlining on uncomfortable now. You and Roald Dahl are the greatest honeypots that we've ever seen. Yeah, you don't call Roald Dahl the honeypot, do you? Well, maybe we should. That man fucked his way through the fucking... I don't know who he was a honeypot for, but he was very good at it. He was banging a lot of Nazi ladies.

I'm not sure if they were Nazis. I don't know. Nazi sympathizers? Possibly. I just know that he did it. He was amazing at it of Nazi ladies. I'm not sure if they were Nazis. I don't know. Nazi sympathizers? Possibly. I just know that he did it. He was amazing at it and he hated it. He was like, I cannot believe I keep dicking all these old women. I think there's like an actual quote that he's like, hey, I'm fucked out.

Can I come home? And they're like, you're fucking for your country. And he's like, oh, God. Good on you, Roald Dahl. That's good because he his superior name would... Then he wrote Joel in the trunk, Patrick. And the giant peach, which was something else in time. That's so good, because if you just give him a minor superpower,

he's fucked out. That's his name. That's me, fucked out. And I'm cut. I'm in a fucking kick-ass ass And I'm all out of fuck Ant-Man But that's a moniker that Was in his heritage

And that was a military moniker to begin with Exactly, so Project Ant-Man makes sense And the Wasp, I guess is the same thing Same kind of deal, Project Wasp, Project Ant-Man Again, that sort of makes A lot of these things, You put project in front of it I'm like so on board Black Panther

That's a cultural thing That's fine That makes sense Bucky Bucky That's his name That's his nickname No he's James Buchanan

Buchanan That's just a nickname That nickname was kind of nice He's the only one The Winter Soldier though The White Wolf As they called him Yeah

The White Wolf was like a mystery That was what like I guess the press, if the press were, like, underground, like, conspiracy theories would call him. They called him the White Wolf. That's, yeah. And there's one more. Who am I missing? Spider-Man. But we've covered Spider-Man.

At the great lengths. With great Lance Combs, great responsibility. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. Thank you for listening. And also, I just want to clarify, before I said Hunter of Boss Drivers, her name was Diana Hunter of Boss Drivers,

and she took that from Roman times. Mythology. Mythology, that's what I was looking for. It's right there Goodbye God damn it, Zamit. If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to sanspantsradio.com and you'll find all our other content there. There's heaps. And if you want to support us, head to sanspantsplus.com.

Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time. Good night for now. But not forever. Kisses.