Plumbing the Death Star - How Many Crimes Does the Agent Cody Banks Program Commit? (Feat. The Weekly Muniz)

Episode Date: January 15, 2017

In which our heroes apply to be child spies via a comic book, go to a summer school that's actually a CIA base and tell their parents nothing while asking just how many crimes does the Agent Cody Banks Program commit? Jackson is worried about the parents, Duscher is too cool for comic books, Hayden hates Agent Cody Banks 2 a lot for someone who has an entire podcast about Frankie Muniz and Duncan just wants everyone to know that he's pretty sure he owns a skate shop now. So join the gang as they go through Agent Cody Banks with a fine tooth comb and find a lot of sexual harassment. Like, A LOT. It's not great. Mm. Want to help support the show? Just head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and you can!In Sydney in Feb? Why not come see us live! Book your tickets here; http://edgetix.com/.Want to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradio Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

St. Spains Radio. Don't be a punk, be a spunk. Hey everyone, are you in Sydney on the 2nd or 3rd of Feb? Then why not come see us at the Chippendale Hotel? It'll be this show on the Thursday, and on the Friday, we're teaming up with Film Feuds. And this time, we're bringing our good friend Adam. Tickets are available in the show notes, seating is very limited, so get in while you can. Now, enjoy the show. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask you important questions like, how many crimes does the Agent Cody Banks program commit?

First, we should separate it into kinds of crimes. First we should say who we're with. I guess. So today we've been joined by the Weekly Munas boys, Duncan and Hayden. Hello. Hello. Frankie Munas experts and Agent Cody Banks aficionados. We're massive fans of Frankie Munas. I mean, watch Agent Cody Banks religiously yeah that's what the weekly muniz is about yeah uh we are that's

the core principles right there yeah it's just we watch uh well we review his life in general and the uh aim of the episode aim of the series i guess is to get an interview with him yeah so so frankie muniz by the way is the star star of Agent Cody Banks and Malcolm in the Middle. They know. And we talk about different parts of his career and review movies he's been in. And we think he knows we exist. So, yeah.

That's pretty exciting. That's very exciting. 90% sure. So we brought them in because Jackson and I have had beef with Agent Cody Banks for a while. We have. There's a lot going on that makes him for a very unprofessional Spy

I remember there's that one sequence in the first one Where he has to talk to a girl and they get like Six different people to help him Like get his Yeah flirt with Natalie Connors One's like an army jet That's not the right people for the job Yeah I remember in that they have the scientists

Build a sexy hologram for him to practice on talking to he's like 14 that should be a legal strength of that he's 16 no he's 16 in the second one no he's 16 in the first one

no someone says hey you're 14 and he's like no I'm 16 no that's in the second one when he gets off the plane and he talks to Derek the handler and he goes hey you look really I'm 16. No, that's in the second one, when he gets off the plane and he talks to Derek, the handler, and he goes, hey, you look really tall for a 10-year-old or something. He's like, uh, I'm 16. It all happens in the same year. No, it doesn't happen in the same year.

He doesn't go to London in the same year as he wants those people in the mountain. Yeah. That's too many places for one person to go in a year. He's definitely 16 in the first one. No, he's not. He's 14. Isn't it sad that in the first one,

he has this handler that he gets really close to. They become really good friends. And then in the second one, she's just nowhere to be seen. Also, he gets a girlfriend and he just never talks about her, ever. What happened in between Agent Cody Banks 1 and Agent Cody Banks 2 to change things

so drastically? A lot of crimes. She's probably got in jail Both of them Yeah she killed someone At the end of the first movie No didn't she In the course of spying She's probably

She's not a spy though She's just a person Oh wait Hilary Duff kills a person Yeah She shoves She shoves an ice cube Full of nanobots

Down a guy's throat And they eat him They eat him from the inside out So she's probably Just recovering from that Yeah That's a prisonable She's probably just recovering from that. Yeah. That's a prisonable. She's probably just in a padded cell somewhere.

Yeah, yeah. She's probably in like a psych ward. She's probably like scarred from that. Does that count as like a war crime? That's some kind of, yeah. That's cruel and unusual. Because it's like how painful that'd be. A civilian shouldn't be like shoving ice cubes of nanobots down someone's throat.

It's also like if I'm friends with a police officer and I shoot a guy. They're not like, are you amazed with this guy? And you'll be like, yeah. He's like, oh, that's all right. Because that makes you a cop by proxy. Yeah. Although it was like one of the most wanted men in America, maybe. Yeah.

Like if you kill- Maybe get some leeway. Yeah, she didn't know that at the time. Back in the day. They'd let you get away with it. She didn't know that at the time, though. She didn't think she could get away with it. She just did it because she felt like it.

It's a crime of passion. She didn't like him, so she just killed him. But he'd kidnapped her. You could claim self-defense. In a court of law... Oh, yeah, it's self-defense. You could claim self-defense. To some degree.

I suppose so. I mean, Cody kills countless people in that sequence alone, so I think it's kind of overstated. He's a secret agent, though. He applied for a thing in a newspaper or something. Yeah, it was back of a comic book. So I guess the entire premise of Agent Cody Banks starts off being illegal. Yeah, because child soldiers are illegal, right? Well, child soldiers are, but are child spies? They're pretty much child soldiers.

He kills many people, so same difference. Straight off the bat like we don't even see that he's just like yeah I applied for a spy agency in a comic book he already is a spy

he's already been to spy training yeah spy training itself also seems very illegal because like they hide it from the parents so there's clearly no written consent

oh man it's so dumb though I hate because in the second one they go to Camp Woody which is the guys for the spy spy camp and then like they sing a big they have parents day and they sing this massive song about

how they're a secret agent like agency yeah thing and it's the worst it's just horrible hiding in plain sight it's the best disguise yeah like literally just tell your parents that you're a secret agent but in song form so that if if they're driving home and singing the song, they're like, wait a second. Hold the phone. That entire, I mean, that's a crime, surely. Like a secret camp that you've hid from your parents. Anything where you're like,

hey, kids, don't tell your parents. Yeah, I guess it's a crime. Because you need some kind of consent to send your kids to summer camp, right? Yeah. And that probably wouldn't be in the contract. No, I'm sure that the contract to send the kids to summer camp was like a completely probably wouldn't be in the contract no that i'm sure that the contract to send your the kids to summer camp was like a completely different what if it is

the parents never read that thing anyway they don't read the fine print actually this is a secret for spies gotcha that's all the form says and it's in pretty big it's just like half a page gotchas written in red. Well, yeah, because that would, I guess, make kind of sense. What? Because I don't know why they wouldn't just be like, it's an army training camp. Like, who cares?

Because, yeah, I don't know why they're not. Well, because if Agent Cody Banks comes home and he's like, hey, mom and dad, I'm going to an army training camp. Over summer. Why? We didn't know about this. And they're like, yeah, mum and dad, I'm going to an army training camp. River summer. Why? We didn't know about this. And they're like, yeah, that's just where I want to go. And then they're like, where do you go at night?

You're just asking for trouble. I mean, you can send your kids to like Air Force cadets. Yeah. It's like a sort of thing. But that's often your choice, not the kids. But I mean, like, what if the kids go to air force cadets and they're just like flying planes and like bombing small villages and stuff yeah that's true i mean you never know really what's happening the parents that don't specifically say no to that

sort of thing in the blind friend they assume there'll be no war crimes agent cody banks has taught us at least one thing where it's like, don't always suspect no war crimes because sometimes there's war crimes. But also adults read comic books. Like if I bought a comic book, which I do occasionally, only for this podcast, would never read it outside of this, I promise. Yep. And I flipped to the back and there was an ad being like, are you a child? Do you want to be an agent, Cody Banks? You'd probably be like, like nah that's obviously a joke

or something. Yeah it's like the x-ray specs or something like that Cody Banks is like I didn't think that was a legit thing. Which is funny because that means that I'm making that up If he doesn't want it that makes it even funnier They're like you're a spy I just thought it was a goof Dang. What do you think

if you apply for something thinking it's a goof like if you see a fake ad and then you apply for it i just want those cool x-ray glasses that don't actually work a similar thing happened to me a little while ago i was i was i was i was at um knock city and i was i was trying to find it was like a shopping center i was trying to find this skate shop that they have there yeah and i looked it up on up on Google, just writing the name of the skate shop, and it comes up with all the details automatically. But the details were empty because no one had claimed ownership of the shop on Google.

And it said, are you owner of this shop? And I was like, yeah, right. So now apparently I own this shop. That's nothing like what we're talking about. Because I thought it would be like a goof, and now I apparently own a shop. If it was like true Agent cody banks fashion you'd be running it right i'd be committing war crimes we need to get some stuff now i hope that like

can you please at some point just go into the shop and be like um i actually own this i've just come to collect my wage you know it's like somebody who's not like higher up management it's just like a just like a worker there. So maybe you can claim ownership. Probably, yeah. Maybe there isn't already an owner. It just exists without anyone running it. They've just been waiting for someone to claim it. There's a vacuum.

There's a power vacuum in this skate shop that you've got to fill. Yeah. So yeah, okay. So off the bat, Agent Cody Banks, the whole operation is a crime. So it's a crime. The ad is a crime. The whole thing is a crime. Yeah, so I was just writing down crimes that I

witness him commit in the actual movie. But there's tons of stuff behind it. You've got a form, and I want to listen. It's so long. It's pretty long, yeah. I mean, it's very small writing on this page. Yeah. It's also a tiny page, but it's like a notebook page, like a notepad page. And it's very full.

A5? It's like a quarter of an A4 page. Yeah. But the writing is very small. So it's basically just like a normal A4 page. It doesn't go A4, then A5, then A6. I was trying to do some paper math. This is what people listen to plumbing the desk for.

Paper sizes. All right. paper math this is what people listen to plumbing the desk paper sizes all right so the first the first crime is he's riding his skateboard in the street okay well i mean that's delinquency what is wait is that a crime well i mean we got in trouble for that a little while ago yeah but that was at night time that was at night time and wearing all black clothes i think that counts as loitering if you do it at night. Well, yeah. This is before he was chasing after the runaway car. As a civilian. So he was just on his way to school riding his skateboard right in the middle of a busy street.

Down the streets of Seattle. Yeah. Down a steel hill. Oh, like on the road? Yeah, on the road. Oh, yeah. That's a crime. Was he wearing a helmet?

Yeah, he was. Yes. And knee pads, I think. So, gotcha. He also wore, like, leather shoes. Yeah. Really nice brown leather shoes. Do we know where he was going?

He was going to school. Yeah, he was on his way to school. But that's when he's going down a big hill and there's a baby. There's a baby in a car, they leave the handbrake up. I think I've missed the start of the first one. See, I thought this was in the second one, but then I remembered, because I was a guest on the Weekly Muniz and we watched Agent Cody Banks 2,

but I just remembered that we watched the start of Agent Cody Banks 1 after that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we did too. Just because we felt like it. And we were like, oh, we'll watch the start because there's a funny bit or something, and then we ended up watching like the first third of the film. Yeah. Anyway.

Anyway, so the beginning, there's a runaway car with a baby in it heading towards an oncoming train. And also the bay. What? It's also heading towards the bay. Oh, it's headed towards the bay as well as an oncoming train. So it would have gotten wet and killed. Dead and then fell in the sea and we can't get the boys.

So Cody has to jump into action and he skates down the hill after this car and he manages to skate faster than a car and catch it. But during that, he skates through a construction site. Yeah and he manages to skate faster than a car and catch it. But during that he skates through a construction site, roadworks, and he knocks over a bunch of stuff, trespassing on government property. That's two crimes.

He catches up to the car and he jumps on top and he busts through the sunroof. So he's breaking and entering, even though saving a baby has still ruined this person's sunroof yeah he could have stolen the radio bless you thank you sneezy boy is there another one coming um then there's not there's not a lot of crimes for a while oh yeah that's when he gets he goes he goes at least 15 minutes well no because then then ronica miles who's the agent cody banks's

handler walks into the boy's locker room oh yeah, yeah. That's a crime. Yeah, and then she pulls, like, the towel off a boy. Really? Like a 14-year-old boy. Don't make fun of Cody because he stuttered around a girl. Yeah. She walks in and it, like, has the hot in here. That's her theme. Yeah.

Oh, classic. Yeah, as soon as she walks in, it goes, wait, how does the song start? It's like, brr, brr, hot in, brr, brr. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. But also, but then she,

yeah, so she takes the towel off a boy and then she coils it up and whips another boy right in the dentist. No, because that guy's like, hey, since you're taking towels,

take mine. Not the crime, that's a sexual ass one, surely. And then she whips him in the dick. Whips him in the feet and then whips the other kid in the dick. Ass the feet and then whips the other kid in the dick.

And then whips the other kid in the face. Is there any kind of sexual harassment if you're already being sexually harassed? I guess so. If you come in and somebody whips your dick and then you're like, yeah, why did you whip my... It's self-defense sexual harassment. Sexual harassment self-defense.

You're just sending it back at that point but I remember she whips the door of a locker and the locker swings open and then smacks him in the face so it's probably worse than whipping someone in the face sexual harassment when she walks into the bathroom the kids locker room further sexual harassment when she takes a towel

sexual harassment again then assault, then sexual harassment then assault yeah because it's feet, dick, face so assault sexual harassment again, then assault, then sexual harassment, then assault? Probably. Yeah, because it's feet, dick, face. So assault, sexual... Although I don't think whipping them in the dicks is a sexual thing. It's more of an assault thing. That's true. I think it probably still counts.

It's just a vulnerable spot. Yeah, I guess so. Assault, assault, assault. That's triple assault. What did those students in that locker room say happened that day? Oh yeah, really, leather clad. Oh, yeah, her uniform is a red leather suit with no shirt underneath, and it's, like, three buttons done up in the middle

and just, like, a massive cleavage. You wouldn't believe what had happened. When you were, like, 80, you'd be like, what's a woman in, like, a leather porno outfit whipped my penis? I was 14. Imagine, like that would mess you up sexually right sure yeah i imagine you've got a little red mark on the base of the head for the rest of your life forever you have to you crave that forever whip my penis come on you repress that memory but then you fantasize about it forever yeah you don't know why you're totally into weird red leather jumpsuits and being whipped in the dick yeah so during that scene it's kind of

weird that ronica miles just like openly admits that cody's a secret cia agent in front of all these kids oh yeah she totally does so that's like revealing tons of confidential shit right there and then like there's a secret code reason right probably i mean it happens a number of times well like they say because um he he walks in as like oh you've been you know assigned to this That's treason, right? Probably. I mean, it happens a number of times. Well, like they say, because he walks in and is like, oh, you've been assigned to this mission or something. I don't know if she says what mission it is or anything, but it's very clear he's a secret agent. And then he's like, oh, how do I know you're a legit guy?

And then she says the secret code they say to each other. But there's like 100 witnesses to the secret code. And also they're just openly talking about how he's a secret agent in the schoolyard after. Yeah. I like that we went from delinqu witnesses to the secret code. And also they're just openly talking about how he's a secret agent in the schoolyard after. Yeah. I like that we went from delinquency to high treason. Low treason. Pretty treason.

Yeah, medium. That's low treason. Mid treason. Only mid treason. Once he actually goes to the CIA base and they debrief him and they tell him everything about the nanobot scheme and everything bad that's happening. Oh, I'm afraid you explained the nanobot scheme. Nah.

Okay. It's a scheme involving nanobots. If you don't know the nanobot scheme, everything bad that's happening oh i'm afraid you explained the nanobot scheme nah okay it's a scheme involving nanobots if you don't know the nanobot scheme what are you doing some some evil guys using nanobots to kill the world yeah because he uh they because he's angry or something so hillary duff aka natalie connors yeah her dad is the um he made these nanobots to clean up oil spills and stuff and then these evil guys are taking it over to destroy the world and eat all the ships, all the submarines. Yeah, yeah. Eat them submarines. That's the perfect crime.

Yeah. And then so Frankie Muniz has to get close to Natalie Connors because then he has to get close to the dad and figure it out. Yeah, rather than just getting close to the dad. Oh, the first one. They have to seduce his daughter. Which, honestly, probably wouldn't achieve what they... Well, the thing is, the dad's single.

Like, just get a hot... Get Veronica Miles to flirt with the dad. Yeah, yeah. So much more sense. I mean, it doesn't even have to be flirting. We spoke about this, I'm pretty sure, a few episodes ago. Totally, man. You don't even need to...

Why does it always have to be seduction? They could just, like... Yeah, be friends. He's probably lonely. Get, like, a really nice guy, six pack of beers, be like hey let's watch the game let's be mates

also while we're watching the game what's your nanobot what's this you might as well just tell me about these nanobots you got right here

do you know much about nanobots we're good friends I'm loving the game but I feel like it was way smaller I'm gonna go

get some brewskis and where should I look for them those nanobots we talked about earlier he's stuck in the freezer a cold case of nanobots right what's that nothing or something yeah but anyway as he's being as cody is being debriefed and he's being given all these useless gadgets he's um he gets x-ray goggles that's another crime he gets x-ray goggles and

looks at boobies yeah he gets there's a low penetration x-ray goggles. That's another crime. He gets x-ray goggles and looks at boobies. Yeah, he gets these low-penetration x-ray goggles. He puts them on and looks right at Veronica Miles' tits, and she goes, ah! That's such harassment, again. I thought you were being fricking humorous with, ah! Oh, my God. Also, when I said, ah, I mean she put her hands over her boobs. I did that, but no one can see.

Yeah. That is a crime. Yeah, so anyway, he gets given these lame gadgets and x-ray sunnies and he wants to be given a car, but the guy doesn't give him a car, so he peer pressures this scientist into giving him a rad skateboard.

But he doesn't get given the skateboard, so I'm pretty sure that's embezzlement. I'm pretty sure he's just stealing a skateboard from the CIA. So they didn't make it especially for him? No, it's just there. And he's like, give me that skateboard. I think it might have been there.

Because he... Well, no, because he gave Cody the gadgets, and he's like, all right, get out of here. Yeah, Cody's like, oh, no, what about my wheels? And he's like, no, no, no, that's on a need-to-drive basis, Cody. Oh, that's good. That's a good line. Yeah, baby.

Yeah. I really like that actor that plays the scientist guy. I hate him. He's got like a southern accent. He's just a good guy. I hate him. He moves his lines really well. I hate him.

It was better than Neville, because in the second one, his gadget guy Neville is just the worst character of all time. That was like something out of just an entirely other movie. He lives in a, I don't know if he lives there, but his secret lab is in the... Because it's in the UK. Yeah. And he's in the Jack the Ripper tour.

He just lives in the Jack the Ripper tour. And you pull a little lever and you go down and then he's stupid and smart at the same time. Suddenly you're there. Yeah. It's really dumb. Oh, yeah, because there's one part where something catches fire.

It's like, oh, fire! And he goes, oh, I'm pretty good. Yeah, it's like he's never seen fire before, even though he's a scientist. Yeah. God, he sucks. Yeah, it's awful. But he's also one, even though he's a scientist. Yeah. God, he sucks. Yeah, it's awful. But he's also one of the best parts of the film.

And the worst. It's the classic Neville juxtaposition. Yes. More crimes. Okay, more crimes. We're about 15 deep already. And surprisingly, embezzlement and treason have popped up already. Really?

That's unsurprising. Unsurprising, though, is sexual harassment is leading the charge with about seven of the 15. And that's not even half the sexual harassment. Yeah, it's like so much more sexual harassment. That's just like casual dialogue and they bring up like treason, sexual harassment, embezzlement just through their normal conversation. In the locker room scene, when he's whipping, like, they're children.

Yeah, she's whipping kid wangs. Yeah, that's got to be way worse, right way worse right that's like yeah assaulting a minor yeah that's so much worse than i sort of thought it was it's terrible it's just proper like see a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist doesn't believe you psychiatrist is like whoa my god yeah sure who was this whipped you on the dick okay Okay. Your psych guy just takes their license. Whatever. Psych guy just takes their license off the board and just like throws it

at the bin. I'm done. I quit my career. I'm not prepared for this. Anyway, it goes for a while. Yeah. Hayden,

if you have any other crimes that happened during that sequence. I was looking at this nifty business cards. I wasn't actually listening to what you were talking about. Okay, well, anyway,

he goes to the same high school that Natalie goes to, which is not illegal. No, that is not correct. He does get into a real hectic fight with that guy that keeps bullying him. Oh, yeah. He gets given this watch by the... Oh, yeah, yeah.

...the Q. And he gives it to the watch. So he gets given this watch by the... Oh, yeah, yeah. The Q. And he doesn't really... He gives it to this watch and he goes, if you press this silver button, you go... And then... That's all he explains it as.

Yeah. And then... Yeah, he just electrocutes the shit out of this kid. Yeah. Yeah, he could have killed this kid. Like, real bad.

Like, that kid, like, we're supposed to hate him because he's, like, your typical Chad of a bully. Yeah. But, like, from his perspective, he's like, here's my girl, bully yeah like from his perspective he's like

here's my girl hillary duff mad get off my girl get please don't hassle my girl why did you electrocute me what are you oh my god yeah lucky he finds out what he is later on when veronica explains to everyone in the locker room that he's a secret agent yeah yeah he'll figure it out pretty quick yeah you just need to just need to observe him for like 15 minutes and he'll see that he's a secret agent. See him climbing up a wall or something. He just pulls out his super skateboard. When he arrives, he arrives at a

I think I'm skipping ahead a bunch, but he arrives at this fancy party where he's going to go and take it. Natalie's birthday party. Part of his mission is to get invited to the party and then snoop around and get the nanobots. What's his explanation for arriving in the fancy car? He just has a fancy car. What does he even get that car?

I can't remember. Just before he goes to the party, they just are like, oh, by the way, have this Ferrari. He's like, oh, sweet. All right. That's a good low profile. Yeah. Because he's supposed to be like. Keep your head down in this Ferrari.

His explanation is that he's from like a really poor family but he's like a child prodigy but he's got like a Ferrari and a tuxedo and a cool BMW skateboard the skateboard's BMW by the way oh yeah

that's curious yeah I didn't know they did skateboards but yeah sure I guess at that party he it might even be the same bully

but he he punches a guy in the back of the head and throws him in a pool yeah King hits the bully and then tries to drown him he did that twice

to two people yeah but they didn't drown they both they both swim out I realised last night that they actually swim out of the pool

so it's only attempted murder why does he attack them from memory because he uses his spy trainer he makes it real clear yeah because the guys are being rude to him so he kills them

yeah or tries to at least that's what happens If you make a kid A secret agent When he's 14 He's murdering children He's murdering

He's too full of hormones To be a secret agent Licensed to kill children That's one thing We haven't really explored Also It just reminds me Frankie

Well Agent Cody Banks Himself is so whiny And like Oh yeah But I'm a secret agent Oh man Where's my car?

Give me a skateboard He literally gets given $1000 cash $5000 cash, I watched it last night Just before complaining about not having enough shit They just give him a roll of money And then he goes, what's this for? I want that.

Yeah. Like, frankly, if you were the agency, you would be like, let's get another kid. Like, what was so good about... He just lives nearby. He was top of his class in camp. And also he lives right there.

He lives nearby Natalie. I mean, that's... Well, he lives in Seattle and she's in downtown Seattle. Oh, well, yeah, I mean, I guess. In a prep school. Yeah, and I guess because they're keeping it a secret from the parents, they can't just relocate a kid.

Yeah. Hang on, I just realized. Mm-hmm. Cody Banks' parents are supposed to be pretty poor, right? They're not poor. They're just medium. Yeah, but like... Is Cody getting paid to be a CIA agent?

Does he just keep the money? They just gave him $5,000, but that was like it. He's not actually making tons of money. Surely that would go to his parents. I don't know. Can you legally pay a child? That's a crime. Can you pay a child soldier?

I know you can have them as slaves. Is paying them all right? Well, does he get minimum wage? I guess you get like $15. Wait, he's $14. He's $14. You work at the movies. How much he's $14. You work at the movies.

How much does a 14-year-old get at the movies? You can't hire a 14-year-old. You can work in nine

months. I know that at the cinema company I work for you have to be 15, but that might have

something to do with the Australian ratings. How much does a 15-year-old get paid? I got $10.11

an hour when I was 15, but that was 10 years ago. Yeah. So I think it's now like $11.80 or something. Jeez. That's bad. Yeah, so what if he's making minimum wage?

Yeah, $11.80 to fight crime. That's an hour, though. Yeah, no, a day. I got that. Well, actually, if he's 14, it could be work experience. He could be getting like... Oh, my God, definitely. $5 a day.

Oh my God. Agent Cody Bax. And how long does the plot of the film go for? Like two weeks max? Well, it has to be, isn't it? But he's spying in... He made $70 in this film. He killed more people than dollars he made.

That's real good. Yeah, that's hectic. That is hectic. Trying to think of other crimes at that birthday party because I know it's just riddled with them. What gift does he get her? Oh, no. He gets her like a super expensive necklace. Oh, yeah, yeah. He gives her the necklace, but there's a tracker in it. Oh, yeah. That's illegal.

That's a crime. It's in the course of spying. It doesn't count as stalking or a spy. Wait, is espionage a crime? I mean It's stalking Oh wait but no But that's It's in the course of spying It doesn't count as stalking Or a spy Wait is espionage a crime? I think it is It's a profession I think it's a crime If you're doing espionage

In the other country Yeah You know It's crime for them But it's not for The country you're from Like I'm sure In like a trial

Like if he was like Hey I did it So that I could get the nanobots To stop them eating All the submenas Oh yeah Be like ah Yeah

But also he keeps calling her and leaving weird messages and breathing very heavily. Yeah. Well, that's... That's not, like, signed off by the agency. Yeah. Stop stalking and just sort of harassed her. Yeah, that was, like, really freaky watching that

because, like, he just called up Natalie to ask if he could go to her birthday party and then he just breathes really heavily, much like what Hayden's doing right now through her phone. She's like, hello? Who's there? Hello? And just heavy breathing, which is like a token harassment.

The first thing you think of when you hear harassment. So they're like, look, we've got Agent Cody. So let's imagine for a second, we're the spy agency. Yeah, yeah. Right? And we've got Agent Cody Banks coming in. We're like, we're going to use this kid. We're going to send him to the party. We're going to get him to flirt with natalie yep we're like man we've taught him you know he's gonna be a spy so let's not just teach him the physical

side of things because being a spy is about actually spying yeah what like why did he never receive why did we as the agency never give agent cody banks any any of the necessary materials to actually blend in and spy? Well, that's what they were trying to do. They were trying to teach him how to talk to girls with a sexy hologram. Let's get six people at once. They can just all talk to him in one go. Yeah, they should have covered it at Camp Woody. Because at Camp Woody, all they do is they learn how to defuse bombs,

how to scuba dive and stuff. Kayak? Oh, yeah, power kayak. Oh, no, that's the weird surfboard thing in the in the thing yeah the gadget land and also play capture the flag oh yeah and class high hardcore capture the flag yeah he kicks kids in the face yeah that's another crime yeah but that's a sequel so we'll get to that but like yeah so like surely that's part of being a spy is not like bringing a creepy weirdo when you're trying to yeah i don't know i would i feel like that they teach like it's more an army camp than a spy camp yeah teach him how to be like a soldier but they

don't teach him how to be a spy because they're not like hey don't be a fucking idiot that's that should be lesson one yeah yeah like you think it's like okay so we're the agency and we have agent cody banks or because he's close and that's nice or like on the other side of america we got That should be lesson one. Yeah. Like, you'd think... Okay, so we're the agency, and we have agent Cody Banks, or... Because he's close, and that's nice. Or, like, on the other side of America,

we've got this, like, fucking Romeo kid. Yeah. They were like, he is... Oh, what a chub. Yeah, but he's not as good as karate. How much karate

are we going to need for this mission? How many kids has he knocked out and thrown into a pool before? Depends how rude they are. I feel like it's the kind of thing where I'm like, guys,

I'm looking at the mission, we're just not going to need that much karate. And he's like, well, you never know. You never know. You never know when karate comes in. Or electrocute a bully. What if there's bullies? Guys, I don't think we need to give him really any gadgets. I just, I don't, I mean, we just send him in.

Actually, that's a good point. Why do they give him x-ray specs? What's he looking for? Does he use them in the film? I just I don't I mean we just send him in Actually that's a good point Why do they give him x-ray specs? Like Why do they What's he looking for? Does he use them in the film? I can't remember But they're low penetration

So it's not that they can look through walls It's basically designed for seeing titties Well he actually He does that at the party as well Yeah he does that at the party He puts it on at the party And looks at all these like 14 year olds like underwear

Agent Cody Banks Yeah I would fire him But then they put on a parental lock So it blurs all the bras and undies. But also, it's got, like, goggles, cameras in it, so the people in the van can see what he's seeing through the x-ray specs.

So all these people, all these adults in the van are seeing all these naked children. Yeah, I remember that scene, because everybody's like, ah, come on, Cody. Like, go, get it together, Cody. Which is like, again, he's your fucking field agent. They'll be like, ah, gee,

imagine if James Bond was out there and like went to sneaky jerk off in a closet they're not gonna be like ah gee whiz James Bond he doesn't have a

lot of sex so it's kind of yeah but that's always at the end of his mission that's when he's done he's off the job

because M's always trying to call him being like good job 007 and he's like done Bond and he's like time to have sex with the horse lady from the horse

James Bond remember that horse James Bond no horse James Bond he's like, time to have sex with the horse lady from the horse James Bond. Remember that horse James Bond? No. Horse James Bond. He's got to stop a horse race or start a horse race or something. Which one is that? It's a Roger Ball.

It's all horse based. What do you mean a horse woman? She's not a horse. Half horse, half woman. It's a centaur lady. It's a centaur. It's a seducer's centaur. I'm a favourite Bond film.

This mission is important to the British crowd. Fuck this centaur. But anyway, it's unprofessional, I guess, is my problem with using Cody Banks' operation. It's not illegal, but he'd get fired. He would be out of the agency like that.

They'd probably shoot him in the back of the head bury him in a ditch well he did get didn't he get fired didn't he become a rogue agent yeah and then

he got hired again what does he get fired for though because it's not any of these crimes yeah something no because he blows his cover at the at the party

later on oh probably because he can ride he never ran into a pool yeah like he hit a bully why is it fine for Veronica

to just blow his cover she's a better agent. She's an adult. Oh, my mistake. Because, yeah, she knows what she's doing. Yeah. She's sexy. Hot damn. So hot in... But when... I'm sorry. No, you go. Yeah.

How does he blow his cover? Does he tell Hillary Dove? He's like, hey, I'm a spy. I need you. I think so, yeah. No, no, he does that at the very end once she's been captured by the bad guy. She finds out. But I think that they just get pissed off at him because you've karate chopped enough bullies for us to assume that you've probably blown your cover by now. So you're off the case. Most 14-year-olds can't electrocute other 14-year-olds.

Yeah, they don't normally do that. I don't know if you remember high school. Well, it's middle school because it's America. Oh, yeah. Very little electrocuted. Yeah, I can not remember a single time I was electrocuted when I was a young boy. I was electrocuted when I was 18. I mean, I remember I got this joke shot.

I'd not been 18 years old. You just bought a taser to my party and it was my dream. I was just getting a taser. God, it was a good time happy birthday you were there for that no we weren't there in the treehouse I wasn't

I didn't witness that but I was probably oh wait that wasn't a joke no no that happened oh what how was it

yeah I mean it wasn't like a taser taser but it was like one of the little shocky I mean one of the I don't know what you even call them

one of the spikes that has the electricity going to it one of them one of them was just a nail so I don't know how legit it was yeah probably not a homemade taser yeah i think so how'd it feel it was all right wasn't that bad you feel alive yeah do you have powers i actually felt like i could run really fast

that's good actually you know that happens because i've got an electric truck at work because i i just have so much energy right yeah you have it just heaps of energy and then all of a sudden it goes and i just i went from like and you're doing like operating at like 280 to about 20 and had a massive headache it was like i just drained all my energy yeah i was i got electrocuted when i jumped over an electric fence yeah and it got me right like on the inner thigh oh it really hurt but i just ran all the way home it superpowered your legs for a bit that's so good yeah he was doing those bullies a favor

oh man he was supercharging the bullies i know he should have let you do the bully the bully just slams him in the mouth he's like hollocks out and throws him out a window so after so after your boy agent cody banks yeah blows his cover he's like hulks out and throws him out a window or something that's sick so after so after your boy agent cody banks yeah blows his cover he's a rogue agent he goes

that's a hundred percent illegal that you can't be a rogue agent no that's that's that's crime yeah bloody numero crime city i mean

i'd assume what's the actual crime for that is it just well that would be vigilante ism vigilante ism anything he does would not be covered

so like stuff like espionage yeah which would be fine just flying without a license yeah espionage trespassing countless murder at least 50 murders yeah he blows up the whole complex right yeah yeah like many many of the scientists escape but not all of them yeah because like oh wait so he's a rogue agent at the end of the film yeah in that last fight he becomes an an agent afterwards. So they probably, like, pardon all that stuff. But, like, while that's happening, he's not a CIA agent.

He's just a kid. Just a regular 14-year-old. He kills a lot of people as a 14-year-old. Regular 14-year-old. Normal 14-year-old. Jesus. Just your run-of-the-mill 14-year-old kid. Yeah, jeez.

Come in a lot of murders. Yeah. And he convinces an actual just 14 year old kid to put a nanobot in someone's mouth I don't know she decides to do that on her own

yeah it was just yeah in the heat of the moment yeah just murder a guy from the inside out yeah

one of the most horrible ways you could possibly die yeah agonizing death that's fucked there's a lot of crimes in Agent Grittybags yeah

he tries to sacrifice himself from memory yeah not tries but he's like I'll go back and do the thing I'll see you guys out there A lot of crimes in Agent Cody Banks. Yeah. He tries to sacrifice himself from memory, yeah? Not tries, but he's like, I'll go back and do the thing. I'll see you guys out there. I can't remember. I fell asleep when I tried to watch it the other night.

My question was going to be like, what if he had died? What would the agencies tell the parents? Actually, that's a good point. Which is a good question just for general spite. Yeah. Like, oh, Frankie's leg, I'm sorry, Cody's leg got blown off. It's like, oh, he fell over at prep school. Do they say he's gone

to a prep school or a space camp? No, it's prep school. He goes to the same school as Natalie Conner. The cover is that he gets a fancy scholarship. Yeah, for free

and everything's all covered. Your child died. Can we see the body? Nah. It got blown up. Full of bullet holes. Oh, it was an accident at science class experimenting with guns

yeah that's a good unless they signed a death waiver and just didn't know again like on the other side of the your kid is going to spice gotcha form it just says this is also a death i don't care if he dies. They accidentally sign a death certificate. Next of kin. I don't need to see the body. It's fine. Yeah. I'm okay. Maybe they kill the parents as well.

Just clean up everything, probably. Well, they get the big team. He has a big team of people to do his chores. They can just get that guy in. Yeah. Or the whole team. Kill the family. He's pretty good at cleaning the crime scene.

Yeah. Yeah, he's pretty good at us a brother that he lets in. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's stupid. That's like, what was it? Revealing confidential government information. Because he just says, hey, by the way, brother, I'm a CIA agent.

His brother doesn't believe him. But, like, he said it. He gives him, like, a little spy Blackberry. Yeah, and, like, $1,000. Does he give his brother a k that's great no he doesn't does he yeah he gives him a huge wad of cash to keep quiet like keep your mouth shut how do you explain that to your parents oh god like when this all comes out my brother

your son a spy speaking of contingency plans, what happens when Agent Cody Banks is like 18? How long? Because eventually his parents are going to find out he's a spy. That's just guaranteed. We wrote a fan fiction about it and he just continues to be an agent. What happens to his parents in our fan fiction? They die pretty horribly. Oh, yeah, they die horribly.

A lot of people die horribly in our fan fiction. Well, that keeps up with the The theme of the film. Yeah, yeah. Like, does anyone get eaten from the inside out? Oh yeah, most people get eaten from the inside out, actually.

Most people get eaten from the inside out in our things. In the second film, there's a, one of these gadgets, Cody Banks' gadgets, is a pack of Mentos that's actually bombs

and he licks them and puts them on stuff. And we have one where he throws one of them in Derek's's mouth the handle of the second one and then he throws he throws a nanobot ice cube down matthew matthew perry's yeah matthew perry's in our fan fiction listen to the weekly mutas yeah yeah we wrote a pentology of there's trouble in iraq there's trouble in Iraq and then Mixed Up in Moscow. Yeah, then Journey to Japan.

And then Journey to Japan, which is the final one. And then there's a spinoff because everyone dies except Cody's little brother, whose name's Alex, but he renamed himself Alex Bangs. And then the director. And they become roommates in Bangs and the director. And it's kind of like the other couple. Also the mind-controlled dog from the second one. Oh, yeah, the mind-controlled dog's in it.

I forgot there was a mind-controlled dog. He drinks. He pours scotch and gives it to the guy, and then Cody Banks in a chimney with a little camera, and he goes, thirsty dog. Blown away by that. It's the best moment. Also, the dog plays piano as well.

And the dog plays piano. well and the dog plays piano which isn't a crime in the traditional sense i think we can all agree like falls under that it's definitely a faux pas no it's animal cruelty surely to make a dog pour you scotch and play piano also the dog would be under the legal drinking age and wouldn't have an rsa oh yeah definitely an rsa if it's getting paid yeah as an aside check out if we could like teach dogs to bring us drinks like as a society we just my dad did that he got a dog and he got a rope on the on the fridge that's amazing the dog pulled the uh the rope the fridge open got him a beer that's awesome that is the most incredible thing i've ever heard. Yeah. That's phenomenal. That dog's name was Bong also. Oh, man.

That story just got better and better. Fuck me. All right. So have we finished off the crimes? Oh, not even like halfway. So many crimes. Buckle up, baby. Let's do a speed round of crimes.

Okay. So spying with that necklace thing. Yeah. Trespassing and vandalism slash breaking and entering when he sneaks into Natalie's dad's lab. Yep. Attempted murder times two. The karate chopped kids in the pool. Assault times at least six

when he karate chops all the bullies. He's at a diner later and he assaults four people. Just in a diner? In a diner. When he's having a milkshake with Natalie, but then the henchman comes. It's like a... Oh, yeah, yeah. It means the scene doesn't... Oh, that's self-defense that's not a crime i suppose so but it still does it if they come for you yeah um revealing confidential info when he tells his brother that he's yeah that he's a spy that's treason yeah yeah yeah that's that's treason

that's mid to high treason that's mid treason yeah high treason i feel like is if you're like you're murdering the queen yeah I think only I don't think you can do any other kind of high treason that's the only I think war crimes against your country count as high treason

as well oh yeah okay so there's no high treason in this film maybe the next one but I don't know he sneaks into

the CIA base once he's once he's been fired as an agent he sneaks in there oh yeah that's that's treason again. That's treason, trespassing, all sorts of stuff.

Grand theft order because he steals a jet ski. No, he steals a snowmobile. No, a super snowboard. Ah, yeah, it is a super snowboard. Because then he ends up stuck in a tree like a dickhead. Yeah, like a fucking loser. And then his handler arrives in her stupid fucking hover yeah like hop on it's fine and he tried to hop on face first into her boobs yeah yes that's

she's way too sympathetic yeah she's like haha come on me and your mates now you're so horny i mean she experiences that all the time she whipped a child's penis. Not everybody's innocent. Yeah. Grand Theft Auto. Then, since he's not an agent, he goes to that evil guy's base, and there's a sign that says, caution, no trespassing. And then guess what he bloody does? He trespasses.

I like that sign's up there, even though that base is like in the fucking top of the mountain. It's in like the Himalayas. Who's it to? Hikers? I guess. Who's hiking? Yeah, animals.

Animals and things. Yetis. Oh, there's assault, but there's a funny joke here where he uses this super snowboard to burn someone's bum. Oh, yeah, that's right. And he just writhes in pain and tries to put his bum out. And the guy's bouncing up and down on his bum. Yeah. It's really funny.

That'd be horrible. You can call that arson. Duncan's done it. Cheers everyone. Thank you. We can end the episode now. Electrocution times two with his watch. He electrocutes

two guys at the same time. I mean that's like nothing compared to what he's done. I mean it all adds up together. No, no, no. When you go to court, they're not like, you killed a guy, but you also stabbed another man and he didn't die. So we're not going to worry about that.

Relatively, that's not that bad. You only get charged for your worst crime. So to get away with any crime, just commit a worse crime. Exactly. Kill the queen and then you're pretty much good for anything else. Yeah. Yeah. Good advice. Yeah, yeah. crime just commit a worse crime exactly kill the queen and then you're pretty much good for anything else yeah yeah good advice yeah yeah he plants bombs all around that guy's base yeah so that's arson terrorism terrorism probably also reckless endangerment because there's innocent people in there actually yes that's what espionage would be if you're not alive it would be terrorism

yeah true so agent cody terrorist yeah terrorist would be if you're not alive. It would be terrorism. Yeah, true. Agent Cody Terrorist. Terrorist? Makes a lot more sense. Yeah. Is that it for the first team? No, there's a few more. It's hard to top terrorism. Reckless Endangerment. Murder. At least two murders. You see two murders on screen.

Two visible murders. Wait, who does he probably murder? One of the random scientists. How does he murder him? Oh, does he, like, throw him down the thing? He throws him into, like, a conveyor belt full of those nanobot ice cubes. Oh, yeah. And you don't see him die, but it's like, come on.

He can't not die from that. Yeah. Also, this is one that I didn't count on the list, but attempted murder when he punches the henchman in the face and then throws him off the railing into an explosion. Oh he lives he lives no he's that's right and then they have the weird we'll get to that okay all right but yeah that's attempted murder there but he must murder at least like five yeah five ten people yeah minimum definite minimum it's a bloodbath yeah it's an absolute bloodbath.

He's not hailed as a hero when he comes back. It's like the Himalaya Massacre. Jesus Christ, dude. I mean, like, he's dead, but god damn, jeez. I mean, you got him, Agent Cody Banks. I mean, you saved slightly more people than you actually killed. Yeah, exactly. The ratio here, it's not good, Cody.

It's not that bad, but it's not good. Yeah, it's even. That's why they send him to London, because they're like, you're good, Cody. It's not that bad, but it's not good. Yeah, it's even. That's why they send him to London, because they're like, you're reckless, Cody. Yeah, go be someone else's problem. Yeah, so after that, he murders at least like 10 people and blows up private property as a sovereign citizen. Plus also, like, it's the Himalayas. Like, that's a proper, it's like an environmental crime here. Yeah, yeah.

He probably kills tons of native animals. Yeah, like it sets forests on fire. Oh, sure, definitely. Landslides and... Yeah. It's an ecological disaster. Yeah. Oh, man.

It's probably changed the climate. Yeah. Fuck. That's eco-terrorism. I think we can add eco-terrorism. That's against the Geneva Convention. Jesus. Yeah, so eco-terrorism. Jesus. Yeah, so eco-terrorism.

Jesus, Cody. Yeah, so counting all of that, it's like crazy. He's like, there's like 15 life sentences. So, all right. So, that's all of them now? That's- Oh, at the end. The epilogue.

There's a couple of things in the epilogue. Okay. Even after the story, there's a few crimes. So, they're like, they're back and they're fine and they're cool with, you know, crimes and he's like you're back as an agent you're too good cody yeah we've given you your agent status back for some reason and they he's like walking through the cia base but then just like casually bumps into the henchman that he supposedly killed earlier in the film but he's not in like a cell he's in like this weird restraint where he's got like a buckle around his neck, a buckle around each arm, a buckle around his legs, and a buckle around his torso. And he's like spread out like a starfish in this weird-

Were they torturing him? It's cruel and unusual punishment. Yeah, it is. Definitely. He didn't do anything that bad. He was not even that good at- He was just a big musty guy for a terrorist. He wasn't even-

He's not like an escape artist or anything Yeah I'm a regular cell He's not magic He's actually a wizard Good work apprehending that wizard Cody That's who we really wanted He just chose not to use magic

But he can do it The nanobots are like a side thing We need this wizard in the CIA headquarters to be crucified to be crucified a wizard fuck that's mad

alright so in summary worst crime oh my god more crimes don't be so hasty John I'm sorry

there's one more one final crime a final crime after everyone in the CIA is applauding him at once, giving him a standing ovation for saving most of the world. Yeah, and killing the rest. Killing the rest of it, yeah.

Keith David, the director of the CIA, says, Cody, you're a good kid. You're the best agent we've ever had. If there's anything we can do for you, then you just say the word and we'll do it. And so he says, well, there is one thing. And then it jump cuts to him driving on the freeway with Natalie and he's falsified her driver's license.

He's found a loophole so that she can get a driver's license without passing her test. And she's like crashing into cars everywhere and shit. Jesus. And so that's probably the last crime of the film. That's a lot of crimes Falsifying government documents That's a good way to end it

It's a good bookend to the crimes we read That is Agent Cody Banks Crime full stop So in summary Worst crime he commits is either ecoterrorism or murder Or mid-treason Mid-treason, ecoterrorism and murder I think blowing up the base is the worst thing

Because that's ecoterrorism and murder. I think blowing up the base is the worst thing. Yeah. Because that's eco-terrorism and murder. Yeah. It's all of them. It's probably mass murder. Yeah, I was going to say, you can probably count that as mass murder. Yeah. Yeah.

Surprisingly, the most common crime, sexual harassment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's the easiest one to commit, so why not? What? It's easier than murder.

I think the easiest crime in this movie is skateboarding on the street on the road because there's no like moral dilemma about that you don't need to be a bad person where I feel like sexual harassment you need to be a bad bloke it's coming from all angles

everybody's doing it that's the like culture of the agency it's fine if they're like here's some titty goggles ogle some titties. But we have a pair of locks because we know you're going to ogle titties. Yeah.

Like, what a nightmare. Yeah. The whole thing should be shut down. We're not even going to tell you not to do it. Just do it. Yeah, just do it and we'll stop you

when it happens. Don't use it for anything constructive at all in the film. Just ogle boobies. He tries to look for something but it's low penetration stuff so he wouldn't even see it.

I know. Like, it's going to literally just see through. Like, maybe it was used for like like you can see through one layer of clothes like that's it you can see through glass maybe maybe maybe for concealed weapons was that the intent of it like oh maybe actually he does see that at one point yeah but then that only counts if like it's you're just wearing one t-shirt it's tucked under that yeah I think it's meant to be like in jackets and shit you know how henchmen always have guns

and jackets yeah in their shiny kind of like maroonish leather jacket and they have ankle holsters as well yeah

knives and shit but as all 14 year olds would use it for I guess he just ogles some titties ogle titties ogle titties and on that note

I've actually before we do that, Hayden, Duncan, do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah. Our podcast.

Our podcast, The Weekly Muniz. The Weekly Muniz. It's on Podbean. It's on iTunes. And others that Podbean does for us, but I don't know which ones they are. Probably Omni,

maybe. No, it's not Omni. We have to figure that out ourselves. The rest of them, someone listens to it on, one of them. I can't remember what it's not Omni. We have to figure that out ourselves. The rest of them, someone listened to it on one of them. I can't remember what it's called.

Yeah, theweeklymunas.com is our new website, and it just gives you links to those things I just mentioned. Yeah, we're on Facebook and Twitter. Yep, you can send us an email if you want as well. Oh, yeah, email us. What's your email address? Oh, it's theweeklymunas at gmail.com. And also, this next episode we're going to be doing is a real good one.

At one point in the next one, the one after the next one, it'll be soon. About when's this going to be released? Couldn't tell you. Who knows? So maybe it's already out. Maybe it's out soon. And we're going to watch this animated Choose Your Own Adventure DVD.

It stars Frankie Munas and William H. Macy, and they're trying to find a Yeti. And it has 11 different possible endings and they have to make a new decision every three to six minutes. God, that's amazing. So it's probably going to be the best episode ever. Yeah, yeah, we're going to dedicate an entire episode to...

And then just don't listen to anything else. Yeah. Just that one. Phenomenal. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've been Hayden. I've been Duncan.

Bye. Bye. Bye. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com.