Plumbing the Death Star - How Would it Feel to be Real Life in Toon Town? (Ft Alexei Toliopoulos)

Episode Date: May 17, 2020

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Sands Pants Radio, Australia's most procedurally generated podcast network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, how would it feel to be real life in Toontown? okay so is the idea that obviously like as in within the world of who framed roger rabbit like there is a toontown and we can't afford a house so we've moved into toontown the rent's cheaper it's like moving to the sticks basically exactly i guess i wish you know like looking at the prices in toontown like let's just let's just look at the houses let's just see what it's like and then we move in and we realize oh no that comes with consequences hey guys it's actually fucked here my house is bouncing.

My house has got a personality. No. My house doesn't have a toilet because toons don't shit. I'm going to go all the way up to regular skin town to shit. I checked the mail. My mailbox bit my fucking hand off because my mailbox is a fucking dog or something. The weirdest thing is my mailbox is female. It's a female box. It's got a lady's personality.

It's got lips and a big bow. That's how I can tell. Every time I check the mail it asks hey you should buy me a drink first and I'm like I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've tipped a cocktail in there but that did nothing. It's just made my mail wet

because like in who framed roger rabbit the real world exists like whatever which is what we're currently experiencing yeah yeah skin world that one's that's fine there's three layers there's skin world there's toontown and guess what baby, baby? There's Cool World as well. Oh, that's right. There is Cool World. We should have moved to Cool World. Yeah. It's like Who Framed Robert J. Rabbit, but somehow way sexier and smuttier than already one of the sexiest movies ever made. I look forward to my first interaction with Jessica Rabbit, where even though I i'm a regular man i just all of a sudden

like i'm like oh my god i've never done that before was that just an old-timey car horn coming out of my mouth oh my god they don't even make cars like that anymore oh my heart has a propeller on it now this is fucked i think that's one of the tough things about living in toontown is that every stiffy has a noise i was gonna say just having a real human erection in Toontown is that every stiffy has a noise. Oh, no! I was going to say, just having a real human erection in Toontown feels really wrong. What do you think Toontown itself would feel like? Because I've never felt the cartoon texture in my life because it doesn't exist.

But what, like, because you're seeing Bob Hoskins, by the way, I'll go on the record again and again, best screen performance of all time. Bob Hoskins in Who Framed Roger Rabbit is mind-blowing how good he is in that movie. You're seeing him touch stuff, he's touching boobies, and he's touching, like, would it, everything in Toontown, would it feel the same?

So if I were, like, honk on Betty Boop's butt, would it feel the same as if i was like touching a street lamp or something i i actually suspect that yeah in toontown everything feels like breasts big bolted on pammy anderson boobies yeah everything has that like soft warm to touch see i for some reason feel like everything feels like a dolphin in toontown Yeah, everything has that soft, warm, to-touch feeling. See, I for some reason feel like everything feels like a dolphin in Toon Toon. Like that weird, smooth, kind of tacky feeling. If you're at home and you don't know what a dolphin feels like,

just stick your finger against your gum. It's the same thing. Let's do it now. Oh my god, it feels like a dolphin. Whoa, I just got turned on thinking about benny boop's little tutor because in roger rabbit you can just go to toontown if you're a guy there is just so much fella if you're just if you're boys, you can go to Toontown. They'll be stopping you. If you're made of fucking flesh and bone, there's no stopping you from going to Toontown. Any fucking guy can do it.

Why are you going to Toontown, Jackson? I'm just one of the lads. So, you know, any dude with a pecker can go to Toontown, man. That's the rule. But anybody, I know what you mean. Anybody can go to Toontown. We can all go to Toontown man that's that's the rule but anybody i know what you mean anybody can go to toontown we can all go to toontown if we want but the consequences of doing so are like astronomically high like you walk in instantly the risk of death skyrockets because like rod you go with roger rabbit and some guy jumps out and fucking hits him with a car roger rabbit just like oh hey watch

where you're driving yeah but if they hit you with a car you Roger Rabbit's just like, oh, hey, watch where you're driving. Yeah, but if they hit you with a car, you're like, oh, my guts and ribs. You don't say anything because you're fucking dead. The car just laid you out on the pavement. But I guess it would be the same if you were going to be hit by a dolphin. Is that as bad as being hit by a car? Oh, my guts and ribs.

If a dolphin would swim right at you? Dolphin or Pamela Randerson's chest. Yeah. Is it cheaper for a toon to buy a real car or a toon car? Is it cheaper for us to buy a toon car to get around toon realm? You kind of get into, like, very, very complex issues with this because the toon cars are alive. So are you buying them or are they just your friend?

Are you befriending them so they can take you to work? And which one is more morally sound? If you're buying them or if you're coercing them through friendship to be a lesser being than you? To subjugate the toon cars for your own gain. One of them is a criminal activity and the other one is morally not good. But we've all made friends with people in high school that have cars solely so that they can drive those places i still form friendships that way hi i'm alexi do you have a car let's be friends i'm looking for a turtle in my entourage please someone drive me what do you reckon your personal interactions with the toons of Toontown would be like?

Do you think you would get on well with them? I reckon I would probably have the same interactions that Bob Hoskins has, but worse, because they know that he used to, like, love toons before a toon killed his wife? Yeah. Yeah. That's dark stuff. I don't have a yeah this movie is cooked uh yeah i don't have a dead wife so everyone was like oh this guy's a prick how are you motivated to do anything in this world if you don't have a dead wife

and that's still that's giving you the force to do everything in your world what's your motivation yeah maybe i thought about my wife having a tune piano dropped on her. And even though my wife didn't exist, that still gave me enough motivation. Would you have a tune bride? No, see, I don't want to. I don't. Well, I mean, for one, it'd be like fucking a dolphin. And I've heard that's awesome from a couple of Incas and Aztecs or something.

Maybe it would be good to have a tune wife. No, I think I would have a human wife but i i for some reason i imagine if we move to toontown i'm gonna get a job at a toon store and then i'm gonna be annoyed selling like food to toons because i'm gonna be like you're not like you don't need this food you're you know what i mean yeah they buy a carrot like bugs bunny buys a carrot and i'm like you're buying that carrot not for sustenance But to chew on Cheekily you know I don't know that wouldn't mind me for some reason

Just like hey Bugs Are you gonna fucking eat the carrot or are you gonna go What's up doc cause if it's the second one Get out of my store Eat the fucking carrot Jackson this isn't your store You work here You can't tell customers to leave.

Get out of here. Okay? I like that in your version of a store that you can't ask people to leave even though you work there. That's crazy. Every business lets you do that, Jackson. What jobs have you had? Not for the reasons I've decided. If I work as a cashier at a store and someone buys a thing of rice and I'm like,

you going to cook that? And they're like, that's not really your business. Eat it in front of me now. I want to hear those little grains against your teeth. But yeah, so I think that would annoy me. Yeah, but do you think you'd get on well with the toons? Oh, gosh. I don't know.

I really, I love antics. I love zaniness and I love goofing off beds i need to unwind i don't think tunes unwind i've never seen one relax and if they are that's part of their shtick you know they don't they don't turn off no and and if you do see a tune relaxing you know they're about to be hit by a mallet or electrocute like something's going to come and interrupt that that an acme anvil or piano is gonna be dropping from the heavens at any freaking point it's funny to imagine us trying to sleep and hearing just like wacky cartoon sound effects from the next door neighbors like oh my god i got work

in the morning shut up and then we would call the cops to come over and they'd come to your house and it would be like a clown toon car but cops they'd be like 48 police officers pouring into your house what seems to be the problem sir but just like also i like you said you would the danger for you there would be in like incredible inescapescapable danger. Yeah. Because toons are immortal. They don't die. They don't do anything. You don't have dip. I mean, I'm assuming this is pre-dip era that we're going back to in Toontown.

PD Toontown. Yeah, PD. And then, so, like, you know, they're out there doing whack shit, and, like, one little infection could kill you like if a if a toon is an axe and cuts another toon's head off a splinter from the axe flying off and going into your skin which also i'm assuming the splinter is a is a character as well now it breaks off just like the little brooms in uh the sorcerer's apprentice that's fuck that's gonna kill you immediately i reckon that we tune diseases that we tune diseases that we're not used to having

our immune system's not designed to deal with tune illnesses which like what is the human equivalent of getting like a giant bulging bump on my head or going like literally green boys I'm sick a hat spinning bump dude if I get a hat spinning bump I think I'm fucked for life you can't just fucking walk that shit off you're done you're fucking done

and I can't go to a toon doctor like that'll just be it'll be too wacky for my blood they'll pull out a big saw you know

comically large a fucking toon doctor all they're gonna do they'll put a thermometer in your mouth, it'll burst in your face, you're covered in mercury. Shots!

And then they'll hit your knee with a mallet and you'll kick yourself in the head. Two bumps, coming back from the doctor. Didn't go well, Jack. Oh, God. It says if I shouldn't have even gone to the doctor. Oh, my goodness. I really regret it a lot.

Why didn't I go to skin town that's where the best doctors are i need a skin doctor not a toon doctor so yeah that's bad it's also crazy because like toon town is also a little bit like if you were just living in hollywood where you're gonna meet just run into a lot of the greats just in their off time like mickey mouse bugs bonnie they're all just there. They're hanging around. They're definitely something to interact with. Something I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Yes.

Okay. Would you rather if one of them has to fuck your wife, Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse? And I think of all of the toons from Warner Brothers and Disney, those are the only two ones that it's hard to come up with a reason for. So, like, if my wife fucks Daffy Duck... Bugs fucks bugs. Bugs fucks bugs. But if my wife fucks Daffy Duck, like, that's a pity fuck.

I get it. If she fucks Donald Duck, that's because Donald Duck is, like, he's powerful. Like, I get it. He's aggressive. He's got, like, a fire in his belly. That's sexy. Jackson. If she fucks Goofy, that makes sense.

Shut up for a second, Jackson. Jackson, you can't be accepting of someone, your wife pity fucking someone. I think so. I think that's cool. I think that makes Jackson a good guy. Thanks, man. No, but like, I get it. I see why it happened.

But Mickey Mouse is like the epitome of a good person so why is he fucking my wife and bugs bunny only acts in retaliation so why is he fucking my wife like both of them present such a mystery uh in their cucking you know you had a threesome with lola and mini yeah oh that's no that's fair. Which I think is awesome. Yeah. That's probably the horniest thing I've ever thought of. I've come back to our toon house with Lola and Minnie and you're like, Jackson, are you sure this is safe? Like, are you sure this is going to work out for you? I don't know if Douche has edited this out, but in my room somewhere a steam whistle just bursts.

I'll just have to roll my tongue back up for a moment so we can finish this. Pop your eyeballs back in your skull. Yeah, fair. You say it's difficult, but as soon as you said Mickey or Bugs, my mind was like, I actually want that to happen with Bugs. I think there'll be something sexy about it. I think Bugs is sexy.

He's got authority. I get that. He's confident. Confidence is sexy. He's got authority. I get that. He's confident. Confidence is key. And that carrot? Come on, dude. What's up, Doc? Yeah, I'm there.

Hey, Bugs, show me what that carrot do. What's up, Doc? Here's the answer finally. Me, baby. Do you think Bugs and Mickey would beat the shit out of me? Like, would they kill me? If what? If I fucked Lola and Jamie?

Or is having sex with my wife, like, enough retaliation on their part? That we're even Stevens. We're square. Jackson, are Bugs and Mickey mad? No, no, no, they just fucked my wife, so we're good. So in this situation, presumably your wife is also furious and has gone out looking for them. She's the one retaliated, not them. It's a whole, everyone's retaliated. Yeah, it's multiple acts of vengeance all conversing on one.

But I get it, so I'm cool with it. I reckon they just come over and hit you over the head with a mallet killing you instantly and burying you halfway in the ground damn that's not fun i just died but then let's say for example that is what has happened you have had unprotected sex of two of the hottest tune babes in the world what is going on biologically there are they carrying a half skin tune baby so for some reason no yeah uh i was gonna say like i don't want to see what happens with like a half man half bonnie rabbit bugs situation but then i started thinking about

jackson and minnie mouse's child and that's so much worse but then i went back to thinking about the other one and i'm like oh no that's worse i think they both might be a 10 on the bad times yeah i reckon my child with minnie mouse is gonna look like so if you get like a picture of mickey mouse up right so that body yeah okay and the ears but the circle face is just a human face gorgeous stunning body yeah that incredible largely square torso with no nipples but yeah a human face where mickey's face is that's what i'm talking there wrapped around a spherical head. Would there be laws against creating abominations like that? Should there be?

If there wasn't before you did it, there is now. Might I guess that if human and toon were to mate, the spawn would be CGI. Oh, that's cool. What era of CGI? Iron Man. You give birth to Iron Man. I reckon it would grow.

You know how you see people in photos from the 1900s? They don't look like us. So I reckon if you look at the first Toon Baby, it is like the owl in the opening credits of The Labyrinth or Tron or something. And then, like, decades later, you're getting, like, the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns as, like, a new spawn. And now we've got photorealistic, gorgeous little- Avatar.

We've got Jake Sully as an avatar. Jake Sully, we're seeing him popping out. We've got the gorgeous little Tom Hanks From the Polar Express Rear of his head Beautiful Minnie Mouse has given birth to Tom Hanks From the Polar Express

That's my child A litter of all the little Tom Hanks's from that movie Just coming out But it's funny because Minnie and Mickey live in like quite a Hollywood Relationship So that means that I've got to raise all of the Tom Hanks's by myself and pretend that I don't know who the mother is to avoid controversy and scandal. It's not Minnie Mouse, I promise.

It's not Minnie. He's not even a mouse. He's Tom Hanks from the Polar Express. How would that make sense? Everyone's looking at your children and throwing up because of Uncanny Valley. There's something off about... What a great thing to say about someone's baby. There's something off about it, isn't there?

Your child's giving you Uncanny Valley. There's a vacancy in the eyes as if they're just like little marbles popped in there. Little digital marbles. And yeah, Lola's given birth to the bikes from Tron. They just shoot out. Little life cycles running around. Running around the apartment as I rock Tom Hanks from the Bola Express. Go to bed, go to bed, as the Tron bikes ride around.

Alexi, JD, can you please just rock those you just like rock those bikes to sleep, please? Or can you please arrange them in such a way that one of them hits the light tail of the other and smashes? We have to kill one of them. Okay. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, hey,

plumbing is sweet as a summer breeze and all, but did you know that we produce at least eight other podcasts? Maybe you wish we'd stopped talking about superheroes and Star Wars and dog dicks and instead sought out which kind of frog is the superior frog or what would be the best kind of metal to be crushed under. If this sounds like you, then why not head to SandsPantsRadio.com and search for Shut Up A Second, a nonsense podcast that's far better than it has any right to be. My response would just be like, you made your bed, you have to lie in it i'm this is your fault why did you do this why would you do this why would you start this illicit affair that created an entire new species subspecies of humans and toons why would you do this just because your dick was hard it was horny, fellas. All right, I forgive you. Horny for Minnie Mouse. I forgive you.

We've all been there. Their carnal instincts kicked in and I must go through with them. Do you think there is, like, anime town as well in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Like, Toontown is America. Yes, you can fuck Popeye and Olive Oil, whoever you want, any American toon. Pluto. Yeah, if you want to fuck Pluto, it's okay. Anyone with a Popeye canon you can fuck.

That's the rule. You're allowed to fuck any Popeye character you want. Even the can of spinach, you're allowed to do it. We don't care. You can go to town. You go down to the docks, you can do whatever you want. But in Japan, do you think you can fly over to japan it's a whole new world of toons anime town where everything's like kind of moving at like fewer frames a second like

you've got to wait if you're like in a conversation for somebody to make their anime noise reactions to you hey do you want to come to dinner dude if i if that was real, I would go to Speed Racer area because they have actual human mouths. That's sick. Hell yeah. That clutch cargo shit, dude? Fuck yeah. Anime Town would be way better than Toon Town.

Why do you say that? Sexier. Yeah. Just sexier. No, I don't know. they just got cooler stuff yeah i suppose there's there's more dragon ball z like fights and magic power is happening i guess it's like like anime super robots and shit that's good there are robots in toontown they're just like rosie the robot from the jet yeah yeah and she. And she's thick, dude. Yeah.

I'm staying in Toontown. Jackson's looking at a picture of Rosie the robot just tearing up his plane ticket. I gotta stay. I got unfinished business. I'm gonna see what happens if I mix skin metal and Toon. What kind of baby we get there? Whilst the light cycle just explodes in the background

and Tom Hanks is trying to drive a train or whatever. You've become a mad scientist trying to create all these little creatures, dude. You're like a fricking Dr. Moreau or some shit. Thank goodness that I've not gone to anime town and made a half-human, half-anime baby. Like, I don't know what that is, and thank God we're not going to see it, you know?

I think that's the live- adaptation of ghost in the shell i think that's what happens if you do that there oh no and it's never good wait until you wait until you get a live action piccolo from dragon ball evolution that's the worst baby you can get you know i've i've been curious about that movie for so long it's the guy that plays spike in buffy right yeah i think so yeah i've never once googled it i've been a little bit too scared to see what he looks like in that movie alexi i saw it opening weekend in the cinema oh my god opening and closing weekend it's the same weekend yeah it's uh it's a lot it's a lot to take in because i i've i can't imagine what they would do to make that character look real with that guy playing it and it's not using any of the promotional material so i'm like there's a reason they're not showing us

he's not green from what i can remember yeah that's whatever color he is is disgusting then if it's flesh pink i don't care it's disgusting either. If it's flesh, pink, I don't care. It's disgusting. Bad either way. What do you think you guys would do in Toontown? Like, what would be your profession? How would you get by? How are you paying rent? You know, what's your day-to-day life living in Toontown?

Have we moved to Toontown and we're working in Skintown? No, we've got a job in Toontown. It just seems easier. The three of us rooming together. we've all bought a house there we're renting or we're renting a property in toontown together yeah and we all had jobs in skin town but like it's just easier if we get new jobs here in toontown and i reckon the bob bob hot bob hopkin hoss fuck oh my god no we've lost him i reckon bob yeah he was onto mr robert h i think he was onto the right idea because being a private eye in toontown seems really easy yeah

that's fair everyone's like just spilling out the information. No one's holding a secret in Toontown. No. Like, for instance, the patty cake scene in Roger Rabbit. First of all, great scene. Very horny. Excellent scene. Gorgeous. Second of all, one of the suspects is holding the deed to property in that photo, despite the fact that makes absolutely no sense in the context of what's happening. Clues are so easy to find. I suppose because toontown kind of has to follow

like a narrative arc just by like basic toon evolution you could kind of just sit on your ass and let the crime solve themselves yeah like i can just drink just become a terrible alcoholic in your room in our apartment with a waiting for the that's the only difference i have a desk and the desk is your best friend it's chatting to you all night yeah that's a pretty good idea doucha why don't you write a little other idea down there's a bottle of whiskey in one of my drawers doucha can you open the lid so i can get drunk with you? Douche is getting drunk with his desk again tonight, Alexi, so let's not go in his room. Yeah, we've got to look after all these little Tom Hanks tykes around here.

Douche's desk getting drunk is such a... Damn, we've got to shut that desk up. I'm going to call the police. I don't care, I'm calling the police. You hear from me being like, I am the police, sort of. I'll solve this crime. Someone's been feeding Barry the desk some fucking booze. It's me.

Fuck. I'm doing it. Case closed. We're going out. Tracking your desk through the left room. Down the stairs. Finally some peace and quiet. We go to Jessica Rabbit's

club. She dances on him. His drawers shoot out. Whoa! Now this is living! You become depressed because your desk has left you for Jessica Rabbit. You go home. You open your case with that gorgeous little toon gun in there,

you load it up, fire off around it to your head, it spins around the room and chops your dick off instead. And you must live with that broken dick. Your dick gets little birds flying around it. A big red bump pops up on it. Your dick does grow back, but it is just a big red bump. Oh, no. That's bad.

That's bad news. That's what I'm doing for a job. What about you guys? Probably just looking after Tom Hanks' tikes, I guess. I pay Alexei to babysit my children. I'm a nanny in Toontown. I'm looking after all the little babies, the little one that smokes a cigar.

I'm babysitting him twice a week. I'm looking after all the little eggs that will turn into birds one day so they can fly around people's injuries. I'm helping hatch them, getting them ready to go out there on their first job, whatever that's to happen. Training them to fly in a circle and sing the one song. Yeah, that's good. Somebody's got to do it.

Somebody's got to take care of them. I've got to try. I've got to try my best. Of course. I'm looking after, like, little baby Bambi. They're an orphan now. I've got to show them. I've got to try and become their mother so they can one day rule the animal kingdom again.

Deer's famous for ruling the animal kingdom. Yeah, absolutely. King of the woods. Jackson, I can imagine you trying to get a job as one of the birds that fly around injuries. I reckon you're like, yeah, that seems pretty ludicrous. Seems easy. Seems like you make a decent cash from it.

Yeah. That's good because I can't fly. I'll just run around the guy. Always out of breath Because you're too late You got bumped on the head Christ How do these fucking Birds even

Know where to fucking go I thought there would be like a phone call or something I'm gonna start Like a fireman That starts his own fires I gotta start bonking people on the head So I'm gonna start Like a fireman that Starts his own fires I gotta start bonking people on the head So I'm there I gotta get my training up

I gotta train Exactly, I gotta figure out how to do it I gotta learn the ropes I've got like 8 kigs at home They're all little mini Tom Hanks's But yes, they need to eat just as much They may look like an adult Tom Hanks but they're not even one all right are you looking after like Huey Dewey and Louie as well yeah famously

yes all the tiny tunes the Muppet Babies I'm looking after all of them they're all together I'm looking after over a hundred thousand kids it sounds like just looking after all of them and i'm going crazy just me and the grandma from muppet babies or tiny tunes or whatever they all are just looking after them all oh you and all the grandma the grandma tunes that's good yeah absolutely you and whatever the the i think she's just called granny that looks after sylvester and tweedy's granny i'm looking after her you look every day i'm getting fucking parent teacher conversations with all the fucking parents on peanuts and their voices suck i get a headache i get a migraine every time doing these parent teacher afternoons with their freaking

fucking charlie brown sucks okay you're look up for this fucking loser kid. No one knows if he's got hair or bald. I don't know what that little tuft on the front of his head is. I don't know. It's totally crazy. Lidl or whatever. Yeah, there's that dirty one. Just fucking have a bath.

We're in Toontown. I don't know. Wash him and he gets dirty instantly. I don't understand. He's got this freaking little binky blanket thing. It's fucking lame. Yeah. You've got to get this kid to grow up, okay?

He's probably going home sucking on your teat tonight. Let him grow up. Also, Snoopy, he's just a fucking dog. Stop bringing him to school. I don't want to train the dog. It's fully grown up. It's an adult.

And it's frankly weird that he has this relationship with the kids. Yeah, he's not a kid. Stop treating him like he's a dog. Don't even get me started on woodstock it's a fucking bird it's a fucking concert dude i don't even know what it is someone's saying woodstock i'm like okay the concert from the 70s i don't know okay so i guess i would be doing that i'd be stressed out as the one educator and carer for the lost children of toontown yeah just the like even in toontown like the divide between who counts as children and who counts as adults because like you think all right mop babies that's easy babies in the name they're babies

but then like animaniacs are they kids yeah what's dot what's what's yeah what are they are they teens i think they're kind of badass teens. The only way that I know that they're teens is that they know what fingering is, because that's a very famous joke in Animaniacs. That's true. I actually taught them that. I taught them that joke.

Hey, guys, if someone says to dust for fingerprints, you've got to hold the singer Prince. Look at him. Hang on, let me get a photograph of Prince. The artist known as this is a prince yeah he's from skin town so you can make a joke you know prince as in like fingerprints but then it's like oh no i thought you said prince p-r-i-n-c-e prince the singer not just like any like a royal or anything specifically this singer it's gonna be a funnier cultural joke. And then finger. Now, bear with me. What I'm going to tell you might freak you out.

We've all got holes. And we've all got fingers. It's good for you to be like, we've all got... Some of you definitely have holes. Please don't take the gloves off to prove it to me. I'm terrified. Peter Pan?

See, he is a child, but he's also an adult like yeah jack you know from the movie jack not a cartoon don't know why he's there but is he a child or is he a 40 year old hairy man played by robert williams who knows well he's got a cartoonish voice he might be allowed he might be one of the first one of the he might be one of the most realistic skin babies that's ever come out oh yes I want to be educated give me an education please it's cool that in this world my illicit affair with Minnie

Mouse resulted in Robin Williams that's so exciting who'd have guessed yeah I imagine to get Jack there you have to sleep with Patch Adams. Yeah. That's awesome. Do I have to go to skin town for this? Yeah, you can do that anywhere. You can hook up with Patch Adams in real life.

It's a real person. He's based on a real guy. Yeah, laughter is the best medicine or whatever. Hey, Jackson, I'm excited to do this, but I feel like I just want to know what your intentions are. I want to make Jack from Robin Williams' film, and I'm going to bring him into Toon World. You know how I'm from Toontown? I'm creating monsters.

Not that he's a monster, but I've created other monsters. I'm trying to start a village or something. One of my kids is a bike, so... So... I'm trying to start a village or something. I guess how it feels to be in Toontown is either bad or horny. Bad or great. And they're not even mutually exclusive. Being horny in Toontown is inherently evil and bad. If you're creating

abominations that's bad that's you shouldn't be doing it but it's good in the moment of climax obviously yeah it either feels good and you're evil or it feels bad and you're normal but it feels awesome rubbing up against those dolphin gums dude for that one moment of blissful passion it's all worth it. Where we all forget whether we're good or bad and we can all just accept how fucking good this feels. Yeah, just get that squeaking going on against that weird, wet, rubbery surface.

It's beautiful. Nothing has made me more excited to visit Toontown than that sensation. Yeah, oh, me either. Well, on that note, I've been Joele i've been jackson and i've been alexi toliopoulos where can we find you alexi oh my goodness you can find me on the sans pants network as well i've got a podcast called total reboot with cameron james where we talk about beautiful movies some of the most stunning creations ever put to art and the shitty reboots

and remakes based on them. And basically very similarly tonally to this show where we just fuck around talking about those kind of things. We're almost at episode 100. Oh, that's very exciting. There's heaps of episodes there. A century of total reboot. Yeah, we're bringing in the new century, baby.

100 years of reboots in cinema. Yeah, and we've just come up with a very cool idea of what we're going to do for our 100 episodes. So I will tell you guys when the mics turn off. So keep it a secret for everyone else to find out by listening to the podcast. If you're looking for a good place to start, me and Jackson have both been on Total Reboot

and both of them were very fun and very good. And they're very fun, self-contained episodes with Jackson we did the Doctor Dolittle movies. Reboot yeah. Which sucked. Yeah we did all of them that's right. We kind of talked through all of them in one go. That's the trick. And it's weird that there's

a very racist history involved in many of the productions of the Doctor Dolittle franchise which is very fun and Dusha and I we did one one of the sickest mini-series all about the Evil Dead franchise. Yeah, those movies, they're fucking sick. So you guys should check it out. And thanks so much, Alexei.

My pleasure. Thank you so much for having me here in Toontown. I'm going to return back to Skinville. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter you can find us at Sandspants Radio or you can find us individually I'm at Douche13 I'm at OldDogsOfDead

and I'm at GodDammitZammit If you want to hear our other shows you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there There's heaps and if you want to support us head to SandspantsPlus.com Thank you again for listening and we'll see you our other content there. There's heaps. And if you want to support us, head to sanspantsplus.com. Thank you again for listening

and we'll see you again next time. Good night for now. But not forever. Kisses.