Plumbing the Death Star - How Would the World React if God Killed Spider-Man as per Eddie Brock's Wishs in Spider-Man 3?

Episode Date: July 21, 2024

Gustavo wants to know How Would the World React if God Killed Spider-Man as per Eddie Brock's Wishes in Spider-Man 3 and thinks we're the right people for the job. And they're right! As soon as Eddie clasps his hands together and calls God 'sir' he's going to hear the loudest boom anyone has ever heard accompanied by an angelic hymn as the body of Peter Parker slaps the stone tiles in front of him, head first. With Peter smoted, most likely unrecognisable as his body turns to ash from being hit with holy light, a lot of questions arise. Since both Peter Parker and Spider-Man are suspiciously missing will anyone connect the dots? How long will New York take before they notice the webslinger is not stopping crime? Will any super-villain cash in and try to take credit for the death of Spider-Man? We're here today to say yes, yes they will and it will be from the villain you suspected the least. Either way, if God's granting out smite wishes it probably best to be off anyone's radar as it will be a very dangerous, albeit short, time to be alive.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+If you’re in Melbourne or the UK and want to see three beautiful idiots live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see us in Melbourne, London, Edinburgh, Manchester and/or Birmingham Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspant Network. Hey everyone, welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions, like this one, which was submitted via our Discord by Gustavo.

And they ask, how would the world react if God killed Spider-Man as per Eddie Brock's wishes in Spider-Man 3? So Eddie Brock being like, damn, I got this Peter Parker Spider-Man piece of garbage. He wrecked my job. He ruined my day. He exposed me for the liar that I am. Exactly. He's walking around clicking his fingers and hitting his girlfriend, which is bad. Exactly.

Then he goes to church. Yeah. Eddie Brock's like. A good Catholic boy. And he gets down on his hands and he says, God above, kill Spider-Man. He's like, dear God, please kill Spider-Man. And at this point... He's flipping.

He's flipping through New York City. Smoted. Now, how is... That's actually not... Okay, so. If we're going to play it out just how that scene plays out, what happens is at the time where Eddie Brock's praying for the death of Spider-Man, Spider-Man is in that church too.

He's listening. Oh. What the hell? He's having a big fight up near the bell. Oh, that's right. He's fighting the Venom suit, yeah? Yeah, he's trying to pull the Venom suit off, and he's banging against the bell, and the Venom suit's pissed off.

Yeah, he is. He's so cut. Because how it happens in the movie is, yeah, he does, he pulls the suit off, the Venom then falls down onto Eddie Brock, who's praying, and then... What a gift from Satan! Thank you, God! Thank you, God! I can now kill Spider-Man myself!

God has sent me a devil to wear! Unfortunately, I have been turned into bones by a bomb. Now, in this other version of events, Spider-Man, instead, is smote. Now, in what manner is is smote. In what manner is he smote? A lightning bolt? I was going to say, the traditional smote. Yeah, a traditional smiting is a lightning bolt to the head.

I think several options. You could choose one from the many plagues that got Egypt. Oh, okay. Frogs. You could go with a lightning bolt a la Zeus, or a big foot a la Monty Python. Okay. I think we'll just, look, let's play it out because we're going to try and figure out

how the world will react. So let's just assume lightning bolt that immediately hits the church. Peter Parker is above Eddie Brock because the venom falls down onto him. So what would happen here is there'd be a big crash, and then the lifeless body of Peter Parker would fall down, flop down, and then slap onto the ground. Fried head.

This motherfucker's got a fried head. What? Venom died too? Yeah. Eddie Brock looks down and he says, what the hell? Thank you God. Thank you God for killing Spider-Man and this black goo. What would the black goo still be fine? No, because he hates fire and lightning's just quick fire.

I don't know if that's true. Is electricity fire? Electricity is bad for the symbiote. It's fire adjacent. You can get an electric burn. That's fire, does that. The symbiote is allergic to fire and noise and electricity.

Yeah, because electricity is just different fire. Yeah. Come on. It's only vulnerable to the heat produced by a high voltage of electricity, a la lightning. A la lightning, exactly. Thor would absolutely fuck the symbiote up. Yeah. Or just someone that's loud. Like Speaker Man.

That would kill Vin. In your mind, does Speaker Man make That would kill Venom. In your mind, does Speaker Man make speakers or is he a speaker? He's just got a big speaker in his chest. He holds a microphone and he talks into it and it comes out of his chest. That's pretty cool. He goes, Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! And Venom's like,

Yeah, Venom hates it. I think, yes, electricity bad for a symbiote. Yes, so Venom's dead. Spider-Man's dead. Peter Parker's dead. Now, was Peter Parker wearing, say, a Spider-Man outfit? Yes, he was wearing a Spider-Man outfit.

He didn't have a mask on, though. Okay, so you're wondering, if you're Eddie Brock and you pray for the death of Spider-Man, and then lightning happens, and then Peter Parker falls onto you. You got so many questions immediately. You're like, oh my god, it worked. Oh my god, Peter Parker rains from the ceiling you got so many questions immediately you're like oh my god it worked oh my god

Peter Parker was Spiderman oh my god what's this black goo that is also dead yeah can you tell if a goo is dead um I just

it would be like a sludge and it'd be fried so it'd be bubbling fried sludge so would it be like did the sludge smoke Spiderman is this god does the symbiote do that thing where it retracts fried, so it'd be bubbling. So would it be like, did the sludge smoke spider-man? Is this

God? Does the symbiote do that thing where it retracts heaps when it dies and just pretty much vanishes? Or like a spider and goes like blah. It started as a little goo. Because it's a little goo that gets under Peter Parker's backpack or some shit. So maybe it would become a little goo again?

Doesn't it pick up a meteor rock? I don't know. There is no way that that's right. It'll become a little goo again. I have he pick up a meteor rock? I don't know. There is no way that that's right. It'll become a little goo again. I have a like in The Simpsons when they think that Springfield's going to get crushed. And it comes in like a little rock like that. And Bob picks it up and is like,

ooh, hot. It comes from a meteor, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Your burp stinks. I'm so sorry. You're not sorry. It smells like meatballs, yeah? Yeah.

Meatballs and watermelon soda water. Yeah. Yes, but it would probably become a little goo again. Dead. Fried goo. So I don't think that Eddie Brock, sorry for grace, would notice.

I think that it would just be... And also, would he recognize Peter Parker straight away? Because if lightning strikes him in the head... Well, not just that. He's a fried Peter Parker, and then he's splattered. Well, not just that. He's a fried Peter Parker and then he's splatted. Yes, that's true. If lightning strikes you

in your head, do your eyes pop? Probably. It's not going to be good. I can't imagine it good. And it's not a traditional lightning strike. He's smote.

It's holy light, guys. I sort of feel like if God smites you with a lightning bolt, you're just ash. Yeah, I feel definitely if God smites you with a lightning bolt, you're just ash. Yeah, I feel definitely, if Peter Parker has been smoted and

the symbiote suit is also there, that symbiote suit is vanished. Like, it's ash. And I also feel that maybe Peter Parker is also ash. It's just a little pile of dust with his glasses on it. It's funny to think that it happens like that then,

because Eddie Brock prays. He's a loud boom. He's the loudest boom he's ever heard. Dust rains down on him from above. And he's like, what the fuck? What's happening? Is it snowing indoors? No, that tastes like Spider-Man.

Oh, no, because it would just be like, even if the dust comes down, he'd be like, oh, man, it sounds like there's terrible lightning outside, so you stay in the church for a little bit longer until it passes. Which it would pass straight away because it was just a one-off lightning strike. Oh, it must be a big, heavy thunderstorm. I don't hear any rain. It looks out.

New York City dries a moan. It dries a moan. Like, what a weird day. And then he'd just walk home. I don't think that's anyone's reaction to that. You hear the loudest boom in your life, and you are like, wow. You look outside. It's not raining.

And you're like, oh, what a weird day. And continue with, oh, my God. What do you do? I don't know. But I wouldn't dismiss it. I'd be like, was there? I live in a world of superheroes. Yeah, yeah.

What the hell just happened? Surely there's other people around there who have seen that. And they're like, maybe like screaming. But what everybody else sees is they're like, oh, lightning struck the superheroes. What the hell just happened? Surely there's other people around there who have seen that. And they're like, maybe like screaming. But what everybody else sees is they're like, oh, lightning struck the church. Is it lightning or what is it? Yeah, that's true. It's holy light.

It came down from the sky and hit the church. I'd be like, was Jesus just born? Yeah. What happened there? Oh my God, did I enter the church as Eddie Brock comes out? I'm like, are you Jesus Christ? Is baby Jesus in there? No. And if Eddie Brock emerges out like is it are you Jesus Christ baby Jesus in there yeah and if Eddie Brock emerges I'd be like it's a miracle a second coming Christ's return ultimately are you Satan yeah that's true I wouldn't think Satan if it's a holy light I'm not thinking yeah

that's true it's again it's a holy I'm thinking this is Jesus Christ's return and we're about to go he's about he's blessed us I'm like's fucking coming. And the rapture's coming and I get naked. Yeah, it's coming. First he was, he came back. He was a lamb. Now he's a motherfucking lion. And are we going with like Topher Grace? Topher Grace, like, is in like, he's the,

are we going with like muscle hunk venom from the comics? Yeah. I'm like, that motherfucker, he a lion. He's a lion. Topher Grace, he's a bit of a lamb. He's a bit of a lamb. Yeah, it's true. Whereas hunk Eddie Brock motherfucker, he a lion. He's a lion. Toe for grace, I'm a bit of a lion. He's a bit of a lion. Whereas, honk, Eddie Brock, that's a lion. That's a lion. So what are we doing?

I think we're going toe for grace. Okay, the rapture's coming. He's back as a lamb again. He's back as just like a little guy. Nevertheless, I'm going to take off my pants just in case. Well, I still don't think, like, I think that I would just assume that I'm in the church. I hear the lightning strikes. It's a really loud crack.

Yeah. But lightning makes, like, a loud bang. Yeah. But if I go outside and it's not raining, I would assume, oh, something in the church has just fucking broke. I should leave. Yeah. And I wouldn't really think that much about it. I would probably, like, maybe hang back and watch the church for a little bit to be like,

is he going to collapse? I definitely, you're right, I wouldn't go up the little tower. Oh god, no. But would it be like a boom followed maybe by some hymns? Yeah, yeah. Boom. Oh! Angelic hymns. Or would it be angelic hymns

first, like, please God, kill Spider-Man. Yes, my child. Oh yeah, if there's a yes, my child voice, then I'm reacting so differently. If you were like, God, kill this man, and then you heard hymns and a boom. I think it's happened.

I tell you, I would feel like he listened. He did it. He did it. And then I would immediately pray for... Something else? No, I'd immediately pray Just for like Confirmation

Like God Can you give me a sign If you just completed my Yeah Now guess who's a Fucking Dalton Thomas What are they gonna do Bring him home

Boom They don't kill Thomas Maybe your God God's gotten angry dude Yeah I guess He's He's smart

He's smart Yeah dude He was like Alright My favourite boy Eddie Brock, he's praying to me. For you, I do this. For you, Eddie, I do. Oh, you're questioning me, are you? Doubting Eddie, eh? Boom.

Doubting no one, more like. Wow, the church is getting a workout. What the fuck? A lot of angelic hymns followed by lightning rods or something? I think if I was building a church, I would make it a lightning rod because I think that that would be impressive. You'd think. People would think that my church was the most holy church.

So when I see a storm happen, you get struck by lightning. Yeah. You're like, see? And I'm like, see what? See? Church keeps getting struck by lightning because God loves it. I think it's going to catch fire. No.

More like the steeple just like constantly like. To J.D.'s credit, Jim Kawizula, whatever his name is, when he was playing Christ in The Passion Of, did get struck by lightning. That's true. And was like, no, this is a sign. This is good. That's crazy. I have been blessed and I got is a sign. This is good. That's crazy. I have been blessed, and I've got to keep going.

I would be thinking the opposite. I'd be like, I was close to being smited. He gave you a sound of smite, a warning smite. Yeah, a little warning smite just to be like, ah, buddy. Stop being Jesus. No, I don't think I will. In fact, I'm going to come back for the sequel. Yeah, all right, buddy.

Whatever. I don't know what's going to happen in the sequel to The Precious of the Christ Struck twice Yeah Yeah yeah yeah They put him up a second time First one was a warning A warning smite

Now it's the real one Now it's for real Okay so let's say Eddie Brock He walks away from the church Yeah But then he returns to the church He goes up the steeple

And he sees the little pile of ash And the Spiderman suit And the Spiderman suit Say that hasn't been smoked so he can figure out... Wait, no, but is he trying to smite Peter Parker or Spider-Man? Spider-Man. Because he doesn't know that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Fabulous. So then the Spider-Man...

I just thought... I wasn't sure if he was doing it. Oh, wait. Or does he pray for the death... Or does he ask for the death of Peter Parker? Because I don't know... Because isn't he mad because Peter Parker called him out for his Photoshop job? Oh, Peter Parker exposed him. You're right. So I think he wants Peter Parker. So if he goes up there and he sees the Spider-Man suit, he's just like, I don't know what happened.

No, he'd be like, well, Peter Parker was, oh, yeah, you're right. You wouldn't make that. You might. You might be thinking, like, does this mean that Peter Parker, but also I just don't think you would believe that God was, you know. I don't know. If I live in a world where a man like flips around New York as a spider, why don't I believe? Why can't I believe in God?

Well, I suppose you can. I suppose Turf of Grace does. Yeah. But it feels like if you prayed for Peter Parker's death, because, hey, here's the thing. God doesn't do that. No. That's like not one of the

traditional prayer options kill this man again I quickly typed in Eddie Brock prayer and I'm like I know Google has fallen to shit

but the first thing that comes up was I come before you today humbled and humiliated to ask you for one thing I want you to kill Peter Parker boom

oh sorry boom boom I guess if you hear that and then you go up and you see a pile of ash with a Spiderman suit kill Peter Parker. Yeah. Boom! Oh, sorry. Boom! I guess if you hear that and then you go up and you see a pile of ash with a Spider-Man suit, maybe other stuff starts falling into place. You might just see a pile of ash. Yeah. And so you're like, all right.

I guess you see the pile of ash. All right. And then later on, Peter Parker doesn't come to work. The full quote. Yeah. I don't know if it's changed anything. Yeah. It's a very strange thing to start a prayer with.

Okay. It's Brock, sir. Eddie Brock Jr. I come before you today, humble and humiliated. Calling God, sir, is crazy. Yeah. Yes.

I mean, I guess. I also find that in, and look, I know that with this probably British or UK, sorry, the same place. Yeah. Nice. I know that there's probably British or UK. Sorry, same place. Yeah, nice. I know that there's probably American or British or UK listeners who are like, this is normal for us.

But like calling your friend's parents like sir and stuff. Oh, absurd shit, dude. Fucked. Bananas. Calling and extending that to God? Yeah. He's got a name. Yeah, God.

God. Yewa or whatever. Yahweh. Yahweh. Yahweh. Yahweh. Is Yewa the tree in Avatar? Yes. Yahweh.

Are you thinking of Yahweh? I am thinking of Yahweh. It's like Eeyore. Eeyore is the tree in Avatar. No, no, no. Yahweh is the tree in Avatar. No. No.

Yahweh is God. Eeyore is the tree in Avatar. They're the same thing to me. It is hard to... Fair enough, dude. I get it. I get it. Yeah.

Avatar. Real life. Very hard. You mix them up. I do it all the time. Okay, so say Eddie Brock. Do the sign of a cross. A.

Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. Avatar. My cross was crazy. I know. Your cross was crazy and your A was crazy.

What are you trying to do? Down. Oh, hang on. It's stylized. It's a stylized A. Okay. Wrong style, but all right. Down like this and then across.

What the hell? Your A makes me sick. It's like the A in Stargate Atlantis. What? The little thing that goes in the middle that's like a shooting star. That's like a shooting star. In my stylized A.

I don't know how you... You know what? It's not for me to know. It's not an A because one side is open. Yeah, it's stylized. You can't. Stylized. You can't just claim. Motherfucker, I'm like, hey, make a triangle and he does something else.

He's like, here's my square, a stylized triangle. If that was at the start of the word ant, I would not know what that is. You'd figure it out. It's a lazy ampersand. Why ant? That's the first A word I could think of. Fair enough. Can't blame you for that.

No, you can't. No jury would find you guilty for that. It's like an upside down four you've done. Yeah! Well, that's confusing. You know, if it's stylized, you forget. This is another branch of avatarism. You forget that it's stylized.

Yeah, he started four of us off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, you know, church avatar, and he is church of Pandora. Exactly, exactly. Exactly. It's a schism, unfortunately. These things happen. Mine would be purer in that situation.

Why? Because yours are avatar. Those are the meat suits that the people put on. That's true. Pandora is the natural. So are you now claiming that stylized A is a P? Yeah. It's a stylized P.

All A's are stylized P's. You forget that it's stylized. If you turn a P on its side, it kind of looks like an A. Kind of. Think about it. Imagine a P. Yeah, I'm imagining a P. Now turn it on its side. It looks like a cannon it. Imagine a P. Yeah, I'm imagining a P. Now turn it on its side.

It looks like a cannon. There's a P. Okay, hang on. If I'm making the P, it's got to go like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you flip it on its side. Yeah. Kind of looks like an A.

Let me know. That doesn't look any... It looks kind of like an A. It looks like a Q. That doesn't look like a Q. It looks like an A. That doesn't look like a Q. It looks like an A. Stylized, you forget. It's stylized.

So, okay. Head to the Plumbing the Dust on YouTube account to see how that formation looks just like an A. So if you look at a little cup as it's plumbing, if we turn the P on its side, does it look like an A to you? No, it's not completely on its side. It's going to be on a bit of an angle.

Which way do I got to go? I'll show you. Oh, yeah? Okay. So we got to... Right? No! Okay, well, you just don't see the vision.

That's what I'm hearing. You don't have the vision to see a P as an A. We don't have the ability to see a P as an A, yeah. Yeah, that's not my point. It's a skill you have. It's a skill because you're... It's stylized, man. It's stylized.

You're tilting the P at like a what? 20 degree angle? Yes, it makes it an A. Sort of. Stylized. Stylized, at least, which you forget that it's stylized. You've got to do it without lifting the pen off the paper. Yeah, exactly. So you've got to curve it up. it's stylized. You've got to do it without lifting the pen off the paper. Yeah, exactly.

So you've got to curve it up. It's stylized. It's like the inward of the P becomes the line across the A. Like the apex, where you kind of make it like a straight angle down, you curved it and made it real round. The inward of the P becomes the straight of the A. Oh, yeah, the inward of the P becomes the straight of an A, in brackets stylized.

Yeah, of course, of course, of course. It makes so much sense when you think about it. So, Eddie Brock. I think that Eddie Brock praying for the death of Peter Parker rather than the death of Spider-Man actually means that Eddie Brock could figure out what's happened faster. Yes, yeah, yeah. Because he'll go to work and they'll be like,

oh, my God, Peter Parker's dead. Well, Peter Parker's missing. We can't find him. And, oh, no, the missing. We can't find him. And, oh no, the crime wave that's happening or whatever expected the Spider-Man's also missing now that we think about it.

That is weird. It's weird. It's crazy that the guy who took all those photos of Spider-Man and the subject of all those photos, Spider-Man, are both missing. They must have both died

in some kind of photography accident. I'm not quite picking up on it in the company meeting. Something must have gone wrong with the camera. Maybe the camera exploded? Well, initially

you probably wouldn't you wouldn't like, you know, if you're stupid, maybe. I mean, again, you don't want to leap to a conclusion. Well, you'd think

that Peter Parker was missing before Spider-Man was missing. Yes, Peter Parker's missing and then you're like, oh, wow, we haven a conclusion. Well, you'd think that Peter Parker was missing before Spider-Man was missing. Yes. Peter Parker's missing and then you're like, oh, wow, we haven't seen Spider-Man for a while because Peter Parker missing

is a guy with a job and loved ones and an Aunt May. Exactly. He's meant to come in. He's got hours. So he's got hours or at least contactable

and Aunt May, but, like, he didn't come home. Mary Jane would be like, Spider-Man, you're probably not going to notice until New Goblin is attacking that construction site

or whatever someone puts a call out for Spider-Man to come beat them up or whatever and then Spider-Man doesn't show I don't know

how long it would take for Spider-Man to not show up to be like where is he I think the moment any public villain act

occurs and Spider-Man's not there how often is Spider-Man like biffing people I think if he's there doing like a daily patrol and I can see him hooping around New York and then one dayMan's not there. How often is Spider-Man biffing people? I think if he's there doing a daily patrol

and I can see him cooping around in New York and then one day he's not there, then sure. I reckon it would still take a week at minimum. Because I think the moment I see a supervillain robbing a bank, and theatrically, and I'm like, well, this is about the time previously Spider-Man shows up and he doesn't at any point, and I watch the bank get robbed and then I watch the villain fly away.

I'm like, something's wrong. Where is Spider-Man? I reckon a week where people start being like, where's Spider-Man? And then maybe like two, three weeks. And then two or three weeks is when it starts being like, he's gone. I think Spider-Man's gone. Which means that Peter Parker won't really be...

Associated. Associated. Because he... Well, he probably will because of the photos. Yeah. But... It's like Peter Parker's gone missing

a week or whatever. Then it's like, wait, we haven't seen Spider-Man for a while. Yeah. If I was the Green Goblin or the new Green Goblin or whatever, or even maybe just like a two-bit crook or whatever. Joe Chill Marvel.

Well, I feel like I need an alias because I don't want to get like... The Muncher. Yeah, I'm the Muncher. Jom Chill. I am Jom Chill the Muncher. Jom Chill alias the Muncher. I'm just the Muncher. And I'd be like, yeah, I am the Muncher.

Be wearing a mask. I am the Muncher and I kill Spider-Man. Oh, I see. I'd be like, yeah, I am the muncher. Be wearing a mask. I am the muncher and I kill Spider-Man. Oh, I see. I'd be like, it's stolen valor, but for the death of a superhero. The muncher must have munched Spider-Man up with his munching machine. I am to be feared. Yeah. I guess like if you didn't kill Spider-Man, it would take a while and then it would all,

everyone would just kind of be looking around being like, all right, who's going to claim this? Yeah, absolutely. And then there's the muncher. I'd be there early. Oh, I did it. Then everyone hates you. And I'd be like, I'm the giggler, and actually I did it. I killed Spider-Man with my giggle ray.

Yeah, I'm. I munched him to death. That's why there's no body. The giggle ray. I'm John Brick. I killed him with this brick. Where's the body, John Brick? Go rid of it.

We teamed up, didn't we, boys? Ah, that's right. No, I didn't. I've never seen you two before in my life. He's just like holding them. What the fuck? Shut the fuck up. What are you doing, man?

I'm John Brick. And I killed Spider-Man. Did you say your name was John Brick? Yeah, J-O-M-E space. Jom Jom Brick. And I killed Spider-Man. Was your name Jom Brick? Yeah. J-O-M-E space. Jom Brick? No, that's Jom. Jom Brick.

Jom Brick. And my powers are none. I just love bricks. Are you always the guy with the bricks? Are you a villain? Or just like a guy who loves bricks? I got two bricks. Would the New York police now try to arrest you?

Yeah, you're just a man with two bricks. You're also like, my name is Jom, and they look it up on a little file. We have a guy named Jom Bricks. There could only be one man named Jom in New York City. You're arrested for the suspicious, like, you know, the murder of- It's funny, my superhero name's Jom Bricks, but my real name's like John Hicks. Or your name's John Bricks, but in your supervillain it's B-R-I-C-K-S, and in your real life it's B-R-I-X.

Well, we know the only John in this city. Well, yeah, I just like the name John. My parents gave me that name. You're not going to change it, I get it, dude. But if you admit to that, because the reason I didn't want to be like my name is you know John Chill Marvel whatever

I you know he's like I want to just take the credit and then nothing I was doing the same thing John Brick is my super villain name yeah but your name

is John Brick no no no my name is John oh so it's John Brax okay John Brax becomes John Brick yes

and now what crimes do you commit otherwise? Bank robbery, vandalism. With a brick? Yeah. Put the money in the bag. It's effective. That would work. Yeah, that would work.

Do you have a brick-themed helmet? No. Is this your face? A bandana. Two bandanas. How are they? Well, one covers, like, so basically my eyes and my nose are out. I like that. So you have to wear it like a mask.

No. Realize that he would be easily identifiable. The gears quickly spun. No, no, no. Two bandanas. Two bandanas. It's not a mask. It's not a mask. It's two bandanas. It's two bandanas. It's not a mask. It's not a mask.

It's two bandanas. It's two bandanas. It's different. Different. It is different. Exactly. So it's two bandanas, one over your eyes like a turtle. No, one traditional bandana hat style.

Okay. So is it like covering your hair or over your eyes? What are you talking about? Covering your hair and then one over your nose, yeah? Yeah. What's his name? You're like a fucking cowboy from the eyes down. Yes!

And a biker from the head up. Yes! Okay, okay, okay. Crazy look. Crazy, beautiful. Two black pantanas. I have two bricks, but then a third brick on my belt. Okay, nice.

Good stuff, John Bricks. Black pants and a black button-up shirt. Okay. Okay, nice Where's maybe JB spray-painted on the front? You say, I killed Spider-Man. Yeah. The police take you in for questioning. Although you have to find out

that Joan Briggs is John Brax. Are you doing a... How are you announcing? You are the muncher and the giggle man. Yeah. You're interrupting the joint press conference. These guys are full of shit. I killed him with a brick. What it kind of seemed like

is like the Giggle Man was like, I'm holding No, sorry. The Muncher was like, I'm holding an announcement. And then we were in the crowd and you were like, I killed Spider-Man. And we were like, oh, that's clever. Actually, I killed Spider-Man. The Giggle Man. Me. What are you talking about? I munched the boy. I giggled him. I actually killed Spider-Man. Actually, I killed Spider-Man. The giggle man. Me. What are you talking about?

I munched the body. No, I giggled him. I giggled him to death. My name's John Briggs, and I killed him with one of my bricks. Yeah, and then where's the body, John? I buried it with a third brick. Threw it into the sea. Which one?

Water burial. Are you sure I didn't munch his body? Yeah, I'm very sure. The three of us. I didn't jiggle him to death? No, no, no, no, no. He sunk to the bottom of the ocean. I threw him off the Brooklyn Bridge. Hey, Avengers, if you're watching, you're right.

It was John Briggs. It was John Briggs who did it. What are you going to do? Nobody, no crime. So you didn't kill him? I didn't kill him. I killed him. But no one can prove it. I think you're getting Thor's hammer through your head. I didn't kill him. I killed him. But no one can prove it.

I think you're getting Thor's hammer through your head. I don't think I am. I think the Avengers are like, that man obviously didn't kill him. But what if he did? I don't think they would believe that. One man with two bricks versus Spider-Man. Three bricks. Thank you very much.

Well, three bricks, actually. Good point. Because everyone suspects one to two bricks. But a third brick enters the fray? You just don't see that coming. Yeah. Isn't it on your belt? Yeah, but I take it out.

So I throw one. He's like, well, now you've only got one brick. I'm like, yeah, damn. Oh, surprise, two bricks. Bang. Yeah. Oh, I see. You go for the double whammy.

Yeah. I do like the situation where you're like, one brick, and then he dodges it, and you're like, second brick. And he dodges it, and you're like, you think I'm out of bricks. And he throws the third one, and you dodge it. He dodges it, and you're like, now I am out of bricks and he throws the third one and you dodge it He dodges it you're like now I am out of Many bricks he carrying your person I got it dude fair enough. Yeah, I don't know like with like Unless the death of say spider-man or any any superhero. He's like public. I just don't know how you'd know

Well, what about instead traditionally when spider-man's killed in the comics yeah he's killed it away where his body isn't disintegrated yeah it's like a public thing so like like in ultimate spider-man yeah yeah shot yeah by Green Goblin yeah one of the times he also knows him he drowns a bit yeah yeah okay so what are they like they're like oh my god spider-man's dead and they pull off his're like, oh my god, Spider-Man's dead. And they pull off his mask and they're like, oh my fucking god, it was Peter Parker. He was just a huge boy. So that the world can know.

You're thinking of my huge son. So that the world can know, Eddie Brock says, please, for the love of God, kill Spider-Man. And God comes to him and says, Eddie Brock, I'm going to kill Spider-Man. How do you want it? How do you want him done? And Eddie Brock says, just, I don't know, whatever, slit his throat, whatever it's going to be. SmMan. How do you want it? How do you want him done? And Eddie Brock says, I don't know, whatever, slit his throat,

whatever it's going to be. Smote him while he's out whipping. And then God manifests him before Eddie Brock so Eddie Brock can see what's going on. He says, this is Peter Parker.

I know it looks like Spider-Man, but it's Peter Parker. Look, let me take off the mask. What? Ah! Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch. Punches his head to clean off his body.

With his big god fist. Yes. And he throws him at Eddie Brock's feet and he says, I did that because you prayed. And if anybody prays for someone to die, I will kill them. And then he goes back to heaven. I am now covering that up and I'm telling no one. I don't know. Maybe see what happens.

If you pray for someone to die, they will die. Yeah, I mean, that's the takeaway. I'm hoping. I'm taking that one to the grave. A lot of bosses are dead. Yes. I just prayed for your death. That's how quickly it was.

Would you do that? No. Oh, thanks. Yeah, but someone might. Yeah. This is like- Because it could be a goof. It could be a fucking-

You do it as a silly bit. A YouTube creepypasta Or as a prank Yeah Am I saying Candyman Candyman front of mirror A bunch of times Maybe

Yeah Same thing I'm like You have to say it out loud You gotta Yeah you gotta Go to a church So I have to go to a church

Go to a church You gotta pray You gotta say God kill this person You gotta say the person And God will do it Okay Yeah if I'm Eddie Brock

I'm telling nobody I'm keeping that as my superpower Do you reckon if you're Eddie Brock, you're going to do it to anyone else? Oh, yeah. Jay Jonah. Jay Jonah was number one. Oh, true.

The president, maybe, just to see what happens. Yeah. God would manifest, pick him up, punch his head off. Do they all, like when God manifests,

he yonks him out of existence and then plops him into the church in front of me and then biffs him. Is it just like a lot of dead bodies in front of my feet? Yeah, I suppose. The president's not dead in a church. Does God answer any of my other prayers?

If I'm like, God, can you get rid of these bodies? No, I'm only doing killings. Okay. For the next hundred years, I'm only doing killings. At what point if I'm just like, hey, God, everyone? Yeah, all right. Tight, dude. Oh, no. Why, God, everyone? Yeah, all right. Tight, dude. Oh, no.

Why did I do that? What's wrong with me? I'm crazy. That's an intrusive thought. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be a prayer, though. Dear God, I wish everyone but me

was dead. Well, it's going to be a lot of punching in the head for me, but I'll go take care of it. Thank you. Okay, see you. Bye, Eddie Brock.

You're my favorite human being. I love what you do with the Photoshop and stuff. I'm the only guy now. Yeah, that's sick, dude. I guess my job's done. Yeah, I got no one to take photos of anymore. And no way to make money, either. Yeah, but don't need money anymore.

I don't know how to control the power plants, though. See ya. What's the worst that could happen? Well, boom. Boom, boom, boom. I didn't expect this city to explode. Yeah, I don't know. I think if you pray for the death of people,

I think it is your responsibility, Eddie Brock, to not tell people that. All right, well, what about if instead God, he doesn't just say to only, it's not that just Eddie Brock in here. Yeah. All right, well, what about if instead God, he doesn't just say to only, it's not that just Eddie Brock in here. Yeah. Okay. All of New York hears God say, Eddie Brock, for praying for the death of Peter Parker,

I grant you the death of Peter Parker. And this goes out to everyone, if you pray for the death of someone for the next 12 months, I'll do it. It's a fire sale on death prayers, okay? You're going to kiss Eddie Brock like, I didn't, God, shut the fuck up. Also, Peter Puckle was Spider-Man. Goodbye and God bless.

I'm real. You learn God's real, but also crazy. Yeah, but then also, it just becomes so scary because how long until someone prays that you die? Well, for Eddie Brock, I reckon whoever runs that church may have liked Peter Parker. Peter Parker. Yeah, that's true. Eddie Brock is definitely going to be on the list there.

Eye for an eye. What would you do? You've got a year, say, wherein somebody could pray you dead. You would have to hide. Yeah, but I still know you exist. Yeah, but you would have to be like. It's got to be. No, it's a prayer. It's so hide. Yeah, but I still know you exist. Yeah, but you would have to be like. You've got to be. No, it's a prayer.

It's so easy. Yeah. It's not like if you run and hide, it's not like I forget you're a guy. No, but you would have to pretty much be off as many people's radars as possible. Any and all celebrities, gone. Any and all politicians, gone. Yeah, I got some bad news about us. We're on the internet. We're gone. Gone. Like and all politicians, gone. Yeah, I got some bad news about us. We're on the internet.

We're gone. Gone. Like that, instantly. A big fan of Do Go On or something is going to kill us for an appearance we made. And it's not even like we can memory hole ourselves. It's not like if we took every episode offline, that would just piss people off. Yeah, then fans might be like, I wish Palm of the Death Star was dead, because they deleted all their content.

Yeah. Boom! Smoked. Wonder what happened to them. Gone. Yeah. Yeah. Boom! Smoked. Wonder what happened to them. Gone. Yeah. Any, yeah, you're just gone.

You're gone. All of us are gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be John Q no one, no social media. Mm-hmm. If it's for a laugh, you could be like grabbing

like, I don't know, like a directory, like a phone book if they still exist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. Just going through it. Just grab one. All right, let's go. Let's start with the A's, baby. like a phone book if they still exist yeah yeah yeah woah just going through it

alright let's go today I'm doing I'm doing A through the Q I think I'd just be like oh no I would've fucked that up

and killed myself yeah hey I dear god I pray that everyone in this phone book's dead are you sure yes

okay think it through. God, quit yapping. Start smiting. You're doing some of these? Start doing some of these. But then also. Smoting, getting up to like the, you know, Ted Danson.

Not Ted Danson. And then I'm doing the D's. Yeah. Yeah, good. Yeah, good. Fuck them. Okay. I've just done Samuel D the days. Yeah. Yeah, good, dude. Yeah, yeah, good. Fuck him. Okay. I've just done Samuel Duker.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck him. Stop telling me who you're doing, dude. You're just doing. Punch your heads clean off. This is your last chance.

For what? For what? I'm so sick of you. All right. Dear God, I pray for God to be dead. Not a person. Can't do it. Does that mean you can't wish for dogs to die?

Yeah, I think so. God won't kill a dog, but he will kill a man. Well, that's probably good because it would be very easy for someone who is just a hater to walk into church. I wish that everyone's pet dog was dead. Yeah, exactly. It's dangerous. It's a dangerous time to be alive. Yeah. And maybe a short time to be alive. Yeah.

And maybe a short time to be alive. Yeah, I think so. The only saving grace is that whoever, it's like a three stooges of everyone rushing to church. And they can't get through the door. And they can't get through the door. All three of them are trying to. Yeah, everyone is just there.

Because you really want to hope that there is enough good in everyone's heart that they are not going to wish for the death of people yeah but we all know here and anyone listening and watching that they that's not true yeah there are people that will either be like i will wish for the death of these people because that is the greater good yeah and they will be like well you know sometimes to you know a good man must do an evil thing so that you know i think just you know imagine the amount of people who are aware of your existence. Yeah. And imagine that you were in a room with a gun. Anybody that you knew

or knew you were alive could come into the room, and they could shoot you in the head and there would be no consequences. Now, most people would not shoot you in the head. The more people who are aware of your existence, the odds become less and less in your favor. And we sadly have made

a career out of being known on the internet and not being known for nice reasons. Exactly. We're known for dog shit things. We have terrible brains. Three baboons with microphones. Annoying. Obnoxious. I hate that they're popular.

So you imagine the first person comes in like hey one of many wow number one every one star is basically a bullet in three boys heads the big cue into my room is just everyone goes oh I wanted to do that

join the next line you're looking out there oh fuck man there's going to be a lot of people really nice to me today I wanted to do that. I want to join the next line. You're looking out there. Oh, fuck. Man, there's going to be a lot of people really nice to me today. That was the last time I heard two gunshots. Oh, no. Those were shots in the air of happiness. Yeah.

I don't know if I want to do this anymore. This is a bad experience. Can we call happiness. Yeah. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. This is a bad experience. Can we call it? Yeah. We cannot have that happen. You're right. Like, yeah, 10 people that you know. Yeah.

I think 10 people I know who wouldn't shoot me in the back. Exactly. 100 people. Okay. Yeah. Probably. 1,000. 10,000.

Uh-oh. I'm getting shot. Yeah, right? What do you reckon? What's the... Where does it... The safe number? Where's the safe are getting bad. I'm getting shot. Yeah, right? What do you reckon? Where does it sit? The safe number? Where's the safe number?

Okay, I think I could randomly select this number of people. I would be pretty sure that I wouldn't get shot in the head. I reckon nine. I got so much. I know, but I know. Shot that had no consequences. Yeah. And randomly selected.

Because then you're not even including people that know you. Yeah. You could be maniacs who just want to get away with a moina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Randomly selected were people that know me. Okay. But not all of you.

Not all of you. Not randomly selected from the entire Earth's population. Okay, okay. I mean that I reckon nine. If I it to 10, I reckon that it's... You've gone over the edge. I think a random selection's bad because you could be one. You could just get the guy who was going to kill you. Yeah, the guy that was on the podcast apps accidentally.

He started playing and he was not happy. If I ever get a chance to kill that man guilt-free, I will do it. Yeah, I'll do it. If I'm getting to pick... But imagine that it goes... Okay, so in terms of how it scales up, the first couple are people that know you very well,

and the further away we go, the less well they know you. I reckon I'm getting to level three. So what's that, like 100 people? I mean, three in terms of... So it's that? Like a hundred people? Three in terms of, yeah. So it's like people that know me super well. And then like maybe people that know me well. And then people

that know me, or like maybe the next layer would be like people that have heard of you and maybe like interacted with you. People that just know me. So know me personally, so not just like through the podcast. But like know me in real life. And maybe that would also include like people's partners and stuff like extended family and whatever yeah i'm not surviving no no no level threes where it ends yeah i think honestly level

two oh yeah that's true you know i was thinking like we could probably all get to level four i think people know you personally yeah like there's a good chance that they won't well it kind of stuff and like people that just know you yeah point And then I'm gonna point It's just cuz I know you doesn't mean they're your friend Cuz like the moment they like the like the the parasocial yeah when they hear that that level is included. Oh, yeah easy Yeah, you get to be fucking hey you listeners. You could become the notes mark David Chapman Yeah, be the guy who killed Blob in the

Death Star. That'd give you a crown. Yeah, one bullet, line him up. You say, hey, look at this bug, and we'd all burrow together to look at the bug. Bang! Bang right through our brains, through our ears, out the other side. Scott Free. Hey, bad luck to you, no brain inside.

We survive. We stand up. My ears are shaking. Do you guys hear something? I don't see any bug, dude. Dude, what the fuck? You call us all the way into this room with a gun and you say there's a bug and then nothing happens? We were so excited to see a bug. We were talking about it in the car.

I hate you. I hate you, man with gun. Yeah, I hate you, man with gun that had no bug. Yeah. I'm pissed off. Give me that gun. You, I ain't you man with gun and no bug. Yeah. I'm pissed off. Give me that gun. You can go to hell. So yeah, I think that if,

you know, you could pray for the death of someone in fiction or in reality, it doesn't really matter. It's not good. It's not a good power to give to somebody.

No. I think it's really dangerous that Eddie Brock had that capability. Yeah, and I think that they made an entire anime about this called Death Note. I believe that is what Death Note is. What do you think it's really dangerous that Eddie Brock had that capability. Yeah, and I think that they made an entire anime about this called Death Note. I believe that is what Death Note is.

What do you think it would mean to know that God was willing to do that? Makes sense. Yeah, I feel like it's a very Old Testament of him. Yeah, if God's real, he'd be like, hey, I fucked up. People aren't inherently good. They did it with the flood as well. Yeah. And I guess when you're going there with a name, it's like, oh, that's nice.

I usually just did it like, you know, that general area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why give me names? It's like a bit of a scavenger hunt. Yeah, if we're doing specifics. Scavenger hunt? That's kind of nice. Yeah, yeah.

It makes my job easier. Yeah. It doesn't make it easy. It makes it harder. It's interesting. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true.

Whereas if you're like, only people of New York City, I'm like, this area, where you're like, people with a last name, or the first name, Jom. Hold two bricks. Fuck! Smut! Sitting in the brick cave. Yeah. Which is just like a little brick building somewhere in Queens.

Yeah. God, it comes back too easy. Too easy. I was going to do that anyway. Hey, John, dude. John Brick. John Brick. And then his real name is Jack Brax or something.

That's absurd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, God, you seem really pissed off about that. Yeah, obviously. Have you read the fucking Bible? I'm angry all the time. I'm a pissed off guy. Yeah, kill a lamb for me.

Kill your son for me. Just kidding. Don't kill your son for me. Kill your son for me. Just kidding. Don't kill your son for me. Yeah, kill that lamb again. Kill that lamb. Don't kill a lamb. Cut your forey off, I think. Yeah, snip the forey off.

Oh, that was a joke. No, I think that was real. Your kid's name's Ham. I don't know if God made him name his son Ham. Noah, I have a request. I am building the boat. Yes, and I'm very pleased. On top of that.

Yes. You must name one of your sons Ham. I don't care which one. He will see your penis and nuts. And then he will become punished for glancing upon thy father's dick and nuts So do I have to name one of the kids I already got as ham? Or anyone? Yeah, I can't remember, whatever

Am I gonna have another one? Doesn't fucking matter, probably man You're doing it raw style Yeah dude There's no robbers yet They haven't invented a dinger yet I'll tell you about dingers What's that?

You know how you gotta do the pull out method now now most of the time or eat a herb or some shit? Yeah. In the future, do you know what rubber is? Do we? No. Imagine. You know like when you kill a pig and you get the intestine? Yeah.

And you can put stuff in there? Yeah. I'm explaining this wrong. Like a haggis? Yeah. Like a haggis? Like a haggis for your dick. Yeah, you can whack your dick in there, and then when you bust a nut,

it goes into the pig's intestines and not into the pussy. Are you telling me to put my dick in pig intestines? No, idiot. Thou shall not lay with animal fuckhead. Was Noah's wife Rebecca? Because if so, hey, Rebecca, God told me to fuck a pig's gut, I think. That doesn't sound like you.

He told me to fuck you with pig guts. I'm less confident that this boat was the right idea. And also we've got to call one of our kids Ham. Yeah, that seems like less relevant. That's a secondary thing. I don't know if we have to have another kid. I don't want to have sex with you through a pig. Yeah, I don't want to have sex with you through a pig.

Yeah, I don't want to do that either, but I guess we've got to call Jom Ham now. Jom? Jom Ham Noah Zog. A beautiful, beautiful member of the family. Well,

we've explored what would happen. Yeah, there you go. And it's not good. I hope that's pleasing to you, Gustavo. If God's real, he would be smiting. Yeah, he'd be smiting all the time, dude. And that would be bad good. I hope that's pleasing to you, Gustavo. If God's real, he would be smiting. Yeah,

he'd be smiting all the time, dude. And that would be bad. Smite, smote, smate, or whatever. Yeah.

And if you are asked to queue up in front of a room to meet Plum in the Death Star and they offer to give you a gun and you can kill us no consequences, maybe think twice.

Maybe be nice to us, Halbert. Maybe don't shoot us in the head. I don't want to get shot in the head by the first fan I meet. The first one who says, no consequences? And I'm like, yeah, no consequences. Okay.

Ah, damn it. Yeah. Mm. Mm. Yeah. No good. Well, on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson.

I've also been Joel. Thank you, Gustavo, for the question, and thank you, listeners, for your ears. Yeah.