Plumbing the Death Star - How Would We Kill The Marvel Universe?

Episode Date: July 16, 2017

In which our heroes unsheath their knives, unholster their guns, and go after an entire universe as we ask how would we kill the Marvel Universe?Want to help fundraise in aid of PSC Support? Just head over to sanspantsradio.podkeep.com and give what you can for a brand new D&D adventure! And if you’re wanting to know more about PSC Support, you can head here; http://www.pscsupport.org.uk.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Duscher: twitter.com/dusch13Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. Slow and simple. Hey everyone. Before we start the show, we just have a very quick announcement. Mark Chatterley, the guy who pretty much runs Sands Pants Plus and does a whole lot of behind-the-scenes magic, has a very rare condition called PSC. So, what we've decided to do is put together a D&D is for Nerds animal adventure to help fundraise in aid of PSC support. Thank you. affected by PSC, as well as helping drive PSC research forward. I'm not going to attempt to pronounce what those letters stand for, or what this illness does. Instead, I'm going to let Mark explain what this is. So take it away, Mark. Hey there, Mark here, or Nuffkin, or just the dude who answers the sandpants plus emails. Zametz asked me to give you a brief overview on what PSC is and

what the charity is and what it all actually means because it's probably not something you've heard of. I'm going to try and keep this entertaining but I have this disease and it might get a little bit heavy so please stick with me and I'll try not to take too much of your time. PSC stands for primary sclerosing cholangitis and you don't need to know what any of those words actually mean other than primary. You probably know what primary means but the other two, don't worry about the other two. What it means at its basis is my body is stupid. A quick anatomy lesson, on the inside of you there is a liver. It's your largest internal solid organ. Nice little fact there. And while most people think the heart is the engine of the body, it's not. The heart is just a pump. The liver is the engine of the body. The liver is

what takes energy from food and makes it usable by you. So if your liver gets screwed up like mine is, it's not going to be a fun time. Inside the liver there's what's called the bile ducts. These are a tree-like structure that start inside the liver and then they go outside and connect the liver to the gut to allow bile to move from one to the other. For you these probably work absolutely fine and you don't need to worry about them but for me my body has decided they are evil and wrong and must be destroyed. This means my immune system attacks them and causes them to shrink up and eventually close completely. The bowel will sit there become infected and eventually destroys the liver from the inside out. It's not particularly

fun. It's a rare disease, there aren't a lot of us in the world who have this, and it's not curable and it's not treatable, which means I'm just left with the symptoms and having to manage them, although I can take medication to manage the symptoms. The symptoms range from the slightly annoying, which are things like day-night reversal. Your liver's involved with regulating your body in terms of when you should sleep and when you shouldn't. So I'm very, very tired throughout the day because my liver's not making the energy for my body. And then at night, my liver, for some reason, decides I should be wide awake and therefore I get very little sleep. liver for some reason decides I should be wide awake and therefore I get very little sleep.

There are the dramatic symptoms like the blood vessels in my throat bursting for various reasons, pouring blood into my stomach and then me projectile vomiting blood everywhere. That's quite a serious one. It's not fun. To the painful symptoms, which is just pain. It's not nice having your liver destroyed from the inside out and having a pretty much constant infection going on. It's painful and I take a lot of painkillers, which is why if you've ever spoken to me in the afternoon UK time, I've probably been a little bit loopy. And then there's the itching,

which doesn't sound like it should be that big a problem, but a relentless, unstoppable itch is... I can't even begin to tell you how annoying it is. In fact, before there was a medication that could be taken to stop it, people were known to kill themselves over this itch that just wouldn't stop. The reason why we itch, by the way way is because the liver is stupid. The liver suddenly finds itself with a lot of bile just sat inside it and it goes I don't know what to do with this and it does what pretty much all of us do when something is overwhelming us. It fobs it off on someone else so the liver starts pushing this excess bile in in the form of bile salts into the bloodstream and these

bile salts whiz around your bloodstream until they get to the very very small blood vessels like in your hands, the palms of your hands and palms of your feet and your skin and then they get stuck there causing irritation. So I want to scratch all the time, but I'm not actually scratching anything that will be relieved by a scratch. So it is constant. The other thing the liver does this with is water. There's a buildup of water in the liver and it goes, I don't know what to do with this. And all of your internal organs are like inside this sack inside your body. And then so you've got like your intestines and then there's a sack every six inside.

And then there's your kind of fleshy, fatty and skin bit. So the liver has all this extra water and goes, I don't know what to do with it. I'll just put it over here. Like when you tidy your room and you just stick everything in a cupboard, it starts pushing that water into the gap in between the intestinal sack and your skin. And so you can kind of end up looking like you're pregnant with this big water baby. Yeah, it's a bit weird. So I said it's not curable.

And what do I mean by that? Well, people with this disease have kind of three things that can happen to them. One, the disease doesn't really progress at all. And they're the lucky ones. They get a certain amount of symptoms, and they just have them all their life, and depending on the symptoms, they adjust their life accordingly. The second option is things get very bad, and you end up getting put on the liver transplant list, and you get a new liver. I went through the assessment for a new

liver about five years ago when I was very, very sick. And because it's autoimmune, our disease kind of ebbs and flows. And every time you get better, you're not as better as you were before, if that makes sense. And at the beginning of the transplant assessment process, I was sick enough to be put on the emergency liver transplant list. So I would have gone straight to the top of the queue. By the time they finished the assessment, which was about four weeks later, I barely would have qualified to be put on the list. And so the doctors made the decision not to list me

because I was looking like I was getting to the point where I could just manage the symptoms, which is where I am now. The final option for people who have this disease is death. You just die because you either don't get a liver or the disease progresses too quickly to the point where you skip the window where a liver would actually help you. It's not good having those as your only outlook in the future. It kind of makes planning a bit sucky. I knew I had this disease from blood tests, which is how it usually starts presenting in people. Your blood tests start looking a bit weird.

And mine started to get really bad around about the time I got married or civil partnered in the UK because gay men weren't allowed to get married back at the time which wasn't that long ago I'm not that old I know I'm a little bit old but not that old so I got married I got civil partnered I got civilized you see gay people back then we got civilized together it was all very monocles and top hats and I got civilized on the Sunday on the Monday I got a phone call from my doctors going something's going on with your blood and then on the Tuesday I was admitted to hospital and I stayed in hospital for three weeks. So that wasn't really the honeymoon that anyone imagines. Also looking back on the

wedding photos you can see I was a little bit yellow in the skin. So the lovely pictures of me giving my speech in front of the white wall wasn't a particularly good photo to have. So if anyone thinks they can adjust my skin colour with Photoshop or something, please do get in touch. So WhoWearPSC UK, which is the charity all of this money is going to support, they're a UK-based charity for people who have this disease and in my mind they have three very very important things they do. The first major one is making people feel like they're not alone. Because it's a rare disease you don't often meet anyone else who's got it. In fact my GP who I go to see, I am the first case he has ever seen in his entire life. The only knowledge he had of my disease, of PSC, before I came along was the single paragraph about it in his books that he studied when he was learning to become a doctor 50 years ago. So having a charity who are active on social media, who have Facebook groups, who organise

get-togethers, who are at the end of a phone is actually a really important aspect to what they do. They take something that is quite honestly terrifying and changes your life and they make it easier to cope with. The second thing they do is they organise twice yearly conferences in the UK which gets together various people who've got the disease and doctors and they actually talk about positive things, things that are happening in research and in the world that might one day help us which is very very different to how our usual appointments with these doctors go because usually we sit down and they go you need to take this medication now or this is a new

symptom you're going to get or you probably need a transplant in a couple of years and basically we end up leaving terrified and finally and most importantly and where a lot of their money goes is they support research. They find medical students who are doing research on the disease. They support trials on new drugs. They support statistical analysis of existing data. They help collect DNA. They help collect samples from us so that we can get as many people working on it to hopefully mean that people won't have to have liver transplants and can just take a pill to cure it or that's the dream and that's a very very important thing they do. Zama is being amazing and giving any money that Sands Pants makes from this to this charity and I'm doing the same from my business point of view

as well so no one's making money for this and it's all going to the charity and I'm doing the same from my business point of view as well. So no one's making money for this, and it's all going to the charity, and I can't state how thankful I am to Zammit and to Sandspants and to all of you for basically helping me by buying this. You are directly helping me, and I don't really have the words to say thank you properly which is a bit annoying because I used to work as a writer and I'd like to think I'm pretty good with words but it means more to me than you ever know let's put it like that so that's the quick overview of what PSC is what I have have, and what the charity does, I'm perfectly happy to answer any other questions you've got. So if you do want to send questions about what it means and how I cope and

why I thought stupidly that running my own business would be easier than forcing myself to go to work nine to five every day, because that was the reason I started the business, was because I thought it would be easier. But anyway, I've taken up enough of your time. So thank you again. Bye. Thank you, Mark. Now, the adventure will also be made available

to all Sandspans Plus members, but if you are a subscriber, we do encourage you to go over to sandspansradio.podkeep.com and give what you can. With your support, we can hopefully make a difference for people living with PSC. Now, enjoy the show. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the

important questions, and this one has been suggested on our SansPants Plus forum, how would we kill the Marvel Universe? That's great! Alright, so I'm guessing this is taken from the Deadpool one-shot or trade paperback or where Deadpool kills the Marvel Universe. Now I don't know if he actually kills the Marvel Universe

because he just kills a lot of the characters. Like, I've read it and I instantly, I closed it and I was like, I think I liked that, put it down on my shelf and then I instantly forgot everything that happened. If you kill everyone in the Marvel universe, you're just not making our universe. What?

Sorry, what? Excuse me? It's just a universe with no powers. I guess it's still the Marvel universe. Hey, Jackson. Are you like killing it philosophically? Hey, Jackson, if we blew up Earth and there's no more humans, have we killed our universe or have we just wiped out humanity?

There's nobody around to make the distinction. But would you then say, like, well, now we could potentially live in a Marvel universe? I'm dead. You survive. Are we now living in a Marvel universe? Who's the current editor-in-chief of Marvel? Let's break his fingers.

Kill it dead good. Burn down Marvel universe? Who's the current editor-in-chief of Marvel? Let's break his fingers. That's killer dead good. Burn down Marvel headquarters. That's cheating. So I guess we've got to assume that we're either killing all of the characters. All right, so let's set some very quick ground rules. So it's like, all right, the three of us somehow have been magically transported into a comic book, like 90s movie style. Oh, shit.

Did we get pleasant-filled? Yeah, we got pleasant-filled. All right? We got trapped. Okay, shit. Did we get Pleasantville'd? Yeah, we got Pleasantville'd. All right? We got trapped. Okay, so I'll go first. My plan, I need to get Pleasantville'd. Wait, I should probably lay down the ground rules before I jump in.

Or is that the only ground rule? The only ground rule is that, yes, we have become Pleasantville'd. We are very much aware that this is a comic book universe and that we have the knowledge that we ourselves have of the novel. I'm going to introduce fucking like six months ago. universe and that we are we have the knowledge that we ourselves have of um i'm gonna introduce fucking like god i'm gonna make all those teenage boys so happy good plan until you have to kill them bad plan and so i guess you'd have to wipe out all the

basically wipe out the superhero and supervillain communities or you can destroy the universe whatever my plan of attack is to get Pleasantville-ed into someone. All right. So I'm not going to be me. Well, I'll be me. No, well, that's how Pleasantville works. He Pleasantvilles into the boy in Pleasantville. Okay, I'm going to-

This has become a Pleasantville episode. Go on. I'm going to Pleasantville myself into Galactus. Okay. For those listening to Plot Me the Death Star that have no idea who Galactus is, strange choice. Secondly, Galactus is the eater of planets.

Destroyer of worlds. He is... Fuck, let's see. Do I remember Galactus? He has something to do with the Celestials. Was he put in place to keep the Celestials in check? Yes. Right.

So the Celestials are these giant bodies that go around and basically impregnate a world. Sick. So there's a baby Celestial just, like, living inside these worlds. And then Galactus is, like, got to keep them in check. And so he eats the planets that contain. So sometimes he eats babies. Basically. Gosh.

Depending on the, continue. Anyway, Galactus can eat a planet. Me, want to destroy the universe. Two and two together, baby.

I'm eating the universe. And then, problem. What? Straight off the bat. Got to deal with Ray Richards yeah whatever

hey bro guess what I got I got an ultimate nullifier you just got fucked on get nullified well then I don't exist the universe is dead

to me anyway that's not the question I'm doing what Jack can do I never existed so this situation never happened so the Marvel universe is done

I'll build an Ultimate Nullifier fucking reflector, because I also know that he's going to try and Ultimate Nullify me. That's true, you do know about the Ultimate Nullifier. Just sneak up on the planet. I'm pretty sure you, as Galactus, might have the Ultimate Nullifier, because is that what happens if the Silver Surfer comes in?

You are heralds! Who's your herald? Choose me! I pick Jules Amann. Yes. Anyway, I'm just going to ultimate nullify. That works into my plan. Yes.

I eat the planet, stick the ultimate nullifier on my ass, nullify the planet so I'm hungry again, eat another planet. The only issue I can see is at the end I have to eat myself. But like, what else? The greatest trick Galactus ever played. That was when he ate himself. Almost the last deal is watching me like, what is he doing? Oh, he fucking chomped them too. What you could do to deal with Earth so you don't have to deal with Reed Richards is if you punch the moon.

Can you punch the moon into Earth? Yeah. Could you just pick up Earth, crush it? No. Slurp out the inside. The thing is, I would have to. Can you punch the moon into Earth? Yeah. Could you just pick up Earth, crush it? No. Slurp out the... The thing is, I would have to... In a knapple? Yeah.

Well, because I know that Reed Richards is coming for me, and for some reason Galactus seems surprised every time. Just to... Yeah, Reed Richards would not expect me to punch the moon into it. No. Even just get the other... Line him up. Explosion into the sun.

I just realised the biggest problem that we're going to face as Galactus is Franklin Richards, and because you are his herald, like that's a canon, that's a thing, that Galactus is Franklin Richards' herald, and Franklin Richards could just like... Can I ultimate nullify him? Maybe. The ultimate nullifier is on my ass currently,

but I could take it out. Take it out. Just chuck little Frankie off there. Sit on him. Yeah. Nullify. I think he's going to be a problem. If I nullify Reed Richards,

does Franklin Richards still exist? Good point. That's a good question. That's a question for another day. I don't have the answer for it, but it's a good question. Because if Reed Richards never existed, then Franklin can't. Franklin Richards wouldn't have the answer for it, but it's a good question. Because if Reed Richards never existed, then... Really? Surely.

Franklin Richards wouldn't have existed. Yeah. Can you ultimate nullify a bloodline? I'm going to hunt down some Nans. I'm going to ultimate nullify Nans. You'll destroy so much of the Marvel Universe. Everyone's got a Nan. If you ultimate nullify Reed Richards,

which nullifies Frankie Richards, then what about you? Because you're the herald of Frankie Richards. Well, that could be my last trick. Then I don't need to eat myself. Oh, that's how you pop out and eat every planet but Earth. The greatest trick the Galactus pulled was ultimate nullifying himself via Reed Richards with an ultimate nullifier on his bum.

How does he eat a planet? It's not like an apple, which is the worst thing. Yeah, it's not like he just squeezes the juice out. He gets like this giant machine. That seems slow. That's- Fuck. Unless you want to go to the ultimate universe,

where there was just like a bunch of locusts. So like space locusts. I want him to eat it like- I know. I also want to eat it like... I know. In like big bites. I hope that would be the case as well. My final thing I'm seeing is a big teeth causing earthquakes across the planet.

Well, I think that's a good option. The problem there is you'll get Reed, which is like trying to fuck you, as well as a bunch of other things, plus like the Silver Surfer, all the other cosmic people kind of be like, maybe we should stop him. You've got the cosmic Marvel Universe that's like,

so you've got to do it sneakily, that's all. Yeah. I don't know. So you've got to do it like in the middle of the night as a midnight snack. No one's watching. Stealth Galactus. Stealth Galactus, yes. What's Galactus standing on?

Well, there's gravity. So there's no gravity. He's just floating. He's not really standing. Why does he need gravity. He's just floating. He's not really standing. Why does he need legs? He's just floating. He doesn't. I guess.

Could this be it? Like, in theory, yes. Why does he have legs? What is Galactus? Was he designed for a planet he could stand on? Well, I'm guessing if he was made in the image of the creator. And if I can, I could be getting this so very wrong, I apologise if I am,

because he was the herald of Franklin Richards, and I'm not sure if there's a time travel thing happening where Franklin goes back in time and summons Galactus or makes rise in, I don't know, whatever it does. But if he went back in time to make sure that Galactus was always there, maybe it's because he's made in Franklin Richards' image. You know what I mean? I'm with you.

That's a potential. That's why he's got legs. Always bugged me. That's all I can think of. It's a good plan. Don't get me wrong. Great plan. Let's do our favourite thing of rated out of five stars. You know, a thing that we do constantly

on Plumbing the Death Star. That's true, our classic rating system. Five stars out of five. I want to say three. Yeah, I'm giving you, that's a three star. It's a three star because, like, again, like, you might get fucked on. I'm going to give myself four and a half to bring up the average. Also, so that brings, well, let's say four and a half plus three.

So that's, why did I start doing math live on air that was a mistake, ten and a half out of fifteen there it is looking good so with the herald powers that Duscha has bestowed upon me Duschlactus I am now

Zam at the surfer fuck that's good. You'll have to destroy us, by the way, Jackson. So I'm going to... That's fine. Actually, no, it's not. My plan... Anyway, don't worry about yours.

I'm going to surf around the stars. Maybe cause enough trouble with, say, the cosmic entities, because you give me part of the cosmic awareness or some shit like that. I just realized that whilst I've blessed you with powers, I've also meant that your plan also has to end with you killing yourself now too. No, that's fair. Because like, I don't know what Jackson's mind's going,

but if we were just us, like if we were just a person, then we'd probably just fuck on out. But no, no. This is our mission. If we chose to accept it. And we did. And we were like, right on, give it here. So, all right.

So, choof off into space somewhere. And basically, I need to befriend the living embodiment of entropy. Okay. Does it exist? Yes. Oh. Because entropy is when things come to an end. Yeah?

That's what entropy means. Entropy is like things are constantly ending. I'm going to quickly get a definition. I can't because I don't have my phone. Dush has got his phone out. So define entropy. We just have a quick. Look, if you want to play along, everyone,

if you just head to Google. Entropy. D-E-F. Marvel. Ein. That's mine without the M. Come on, Wi-Fi. Don't connect to that.

Entropy. That's trophy without the H with an N at the start. All right, I've got two definitions. One is not applicable to the situation, but it is listed as one, so I'm going to read that first. I'm not because it's a waste of time. And it has stuff to do with thermodynamics. It's fine.

Okay, a thermodynamic quantity representing the unavailability of a system's thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work, often interpreted as a degree of disorder or randomness in the system. I can't be bothered with any of that. I wasn't paying attention, but keep going. And this is the meaning you're looking for, a lack of order or predictability. Okay, so entropy. Gradual decline into disorder. Gradual.

That's boring. You want quick. disorder. Gradual. That's boring. You want quick. Yes. Riots. So entropy is the sun of eternity. Okay. It's part of a small cosmic pantheon that represents the three essential forces in the birth and death of the universe. With entropy personifying the big freeze and the big bang and the big crunch being represented by explosion and gravitation respectively.

Fuck. Is there a Marvel character who is explosion? Oh, that's the best news ever. That's amazing. Befriend him. Yeah. So once he sought to destroy the universe, thus ending all of creation,

he allied himself with Janice Bell, with whom he succeeded in his plan and destroyed all of creation, leaving only himself, his sister, That's why there's no Marvel comics anymore. Janice's, and Rick Jones. How are you then rick

fuck you're great uh and he began to regret what he has done jones is like hulk's mate yeah rick jones like everyone's mate what are you doing rick jones uh did it so yeah he began to regret what he's done since the prospect of spending the rest of eternity in an empty void was not all that alluring rick jones suggested that he try something creating something he did and he recreated the universe, thus becoming the new eternity. Wait, so it's the plot of that, that Andrew B is like, I'm going to get rid of Earth, but fuck, I love Rick Jones.

Rick, come along. He does it. Rick's like, hey, this is sick and all, but like a bit boring. Do you care? Can you bring the Earth back? Sorry, Rick Phil. Rick Jones, his sister Epiphany, and Janice Fell, which I think is Captain Marvel.

Is Epiphany's real name Tiffany? Because that would make sense. And also not be clever. Epiphany is a name people can have, though, isn't it? It's an idea you can have, like, I got it. That is true. That is textbook definition of an epiphany. So your plan is to befriend entropy. She was also related to Rick Jones.

Fuck this, I'm on Rick Jones' shit. Right, so now I've got to get, you know, in bed with Epiphany. Yep. So that's all right. She looks all right. I mean, look at her. She's grey. She's got red hair.

And she's wearing a pink bathrobe. All the things I can get behind. Sure. Well, she's kind of... Yeah, she's a babe. Yeah. So, all right. Shout out to Epiphany.

I just got to do what Rick Jones... What did Rick Jones do? Okay, he becomes a... He becomes a cosmic rock star Fuck I can't Learn to play the guitar Sure That's a good start

That's a good start This is a long term plan This is a long term plan Step one You're pulling here Step one I'd just like to point out Mine was very quick

It's true Yours was a quick term Oh wait hang on I'm a cosmic being now I'm a He made you the Zam of the Surfer Zam of the Surfer

He is a rock star He knows what to do He's like cosmic awareness Cosmic awareness If I can fucking do a lot of shit I can is a rock star. He knows what to do. He's like cosmic awareness. Cosmic awareness. If I can fucking do a lot of shit, I can do a lot of stuff. Yeah, rightio. If you can do a lot of shit, you can do a lot of stuff.

That's what they say. That's pretty much his textbook. Yeah. So, basically, say like, because everyone hates Dushaktus. Dushlaktus. Dushlaktus. Everyone hates Dushlaktus. Dushlaktus.

Everyone is like, that Dushlaktus fucking destroying all these earths. I know, like the Duschlactus. And I'm like, I know, he's a dickhead. And I need to leave. I'm like, no, I do a sneaky silver surfer. Just be like, no, I don't want to. Maybe I help Reed Richards and like destroy Duschlactus. And then everyone considers me a hero. And then I got to do what Rick Jones does.

And just basically just befriend Epiphany, get in a good relationship with that so that eventually I can meet Entropy and be like, mate, you know what's great? The void. So let's destroy your father, team up with him. We destroy eternity. So that means we just destroy everything. We're left in an empty void of just me, him, Epiphany, Captain Marvel,

and fuck it, Rick Jones is there as well. Why not? Bring him along with the gang. Okay. And then when Entropy is like, oh, man, this sucks, I'm like, no, no, no. It doesn't. Look how great this is. And then I just got to spend the rest of Etern entropy that the void's sweet yeah so but you haven't destroyed you still get you and also

cursed entropy to spend eternity watching zamit the surfer fuck his sister well it's rick jones watches and please captain marvel is there with captain. What you've got to do now is you've got to slowly pick off the rest of the crew in the void where nothing is hidden. That's all right. Well, now we can be like, all right, the void is crap. But then he's like, oh, this. All right. The void is crap.

All right. All right. So if Entropy's like, the void is crap. Not a fan of the void. It's pretty good. I just really like that you're like, the void is crap. Like when I'm just like, cunt, cunt, fuck, shit. And you're just like, void, crap.

So entropy, calm down. What do you want here? The void is all right. The problem is that the reason why you think entropy is crap is because we're watching it. We're observing it. You know what? You're basically the king of everything that ends. Let's just end us.

Yeah, but then he's still there. Nah. He gets the douche problem. Entropy's got to eat himself. Yeah, but then he's still there. Nah. You get the douche from Entropy, he's gotta eat himself. Yeah, exactly. He ends us and Entropy ends himself.

Thus, destroying the Marvel Universe. How are you gonna convince Entropy to end you? And Captain Marvel is just gonna be like, hold up.

Suicide is usually not disorder. Like, as in like, there's usually a lot of order to it. Entropy's not gonna like that. I mean, you might be able to convince Entropy

that offing himself is like the ultimate chaotic. Nobody expects Entropy to... Entropy, Entropy. I guess you've got to try and convince him to be like, look, if you recreate the Marvel Universe, you know what you're creating now? You're creating order. Yes, you're creating some chaos,

but with chaos comes order. If you... The best move in this Entropy is to not play the game. And he'll be like, you're right, I should just stay in the void. Thanks, man. The void isn't crap. It rules.

I love the void. You had too many like, you're right. I should just stay in the void. Thanks, man. The void isn't crap. It rules. I love the void. You had too many extra steps. Just getting good with entropy instead of his sister. Don't bring Rick Jones or Captain Marvel. All right. Step one. Then it's just the two of you. Then you do a murder-suicide.

Step one. Before we fix his plan. Make sweet love to entropy. Before we fix his plan, how are we feeling on the stars system? This is like it works, but wrong. Yeah. Like I was feeling a light two. A light two? A light two and you're giving

yourself four and a half. I give you a heavy two. I give myself five. Fuck you. Alright, alright, alright. I can see the anger and disappointment in your eyes. I was trying to figure out what that would give you. All right, okay, okay, okay.

So too many steps. Maybe we don't have rejects. Also, this takes ages. You know what? I'm going to give you a heavy one and a half. It doesn't have to take too long if I just kind of ignore a lot of the other steps. Make a beeline for entropy. Make a beeline to entropy.

I was having some fun with Epiphany because I liked her grey skin, and that was all right. She's cute. She's cool. That's on me. She's a babe. So look, instead, I'll just make a beeline to entropy and be like, you plan to kill your father?

Yo, I'm in on it. I'm like the herald of Dushlaktis. I've got some cosmic power in this. Oh, you'd be jacked because the silver surf is ripped. So like, yeah. I'd be so shiny and bald. The back stream. You get to be grey and bald.

That's going be a weird Like the moment Dusha's like Dusha like this He's like You're my herald And you're ripped You're like

Why? Why do you do this? Thanks Dusha Rude I guess Gotcha So Cause here's the Personification of

You sealed your own fate By making him beautiful Yeah That's very funny So basically We just big freeze the universe Okay Yeah I mean it works But I still don't know How you're getting That's very funny. So basically we just big freeze the universe. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, it works, but I still don't know how you're getting Entropied off himself. Unless you make love to Entropied and stab him in the neck and then yourself in the neck whilst he's distracted. Maybe. The thing is, because Entropied is the embodiment of everything coming to an end, yeah? Yeah. So even he has to come to an end. Oh, fuck, no.

I've got myself into a cycle. What kills entropy is life. Fuck. You're a loop. You're just spending time in the void with entropy, who honestly sounds pretty boring. And then it's just going to come with life then. So I've destroyed it, but I've recreated it, but I destroy it.

It's just a loop. That's why I'm giving you a heavy two. I'm sticking to my light two. All right. So you're on a nine. Nah, I give myself a two. So mine kind of works. Is yours a light or a heavy two?

It's a medium two. Is it disappointing too? Because I'm like, yes, I worked it out. No, I'm in a cycle. I cycled myself. So you're like a light to decent six out of 15. If anything, what's going to happen is he's going to become Eternity. And because I'm there, I'll become the new Entropy.

And then I'm like, shit. And then I got to kill him. But then the next fucking dickhead is like, you know, I don't know. I honestly think two might be too high. Like someone else the surfer's going to come. You might also get a zero because you haven't done it. Yeah, actually, you might get a zero because you've just failed at it. Like Adam the surfer's going to come and be like, oh, examine.

Destroy the universe. I'm like, yes. And we kill's going to come and be like, Oi, zam it! Destroy the universe! I'm like, yes! And we kill the universe. And he's like, oh, the void. And I'm like, yeah, maybe I become eternity. He's like, no, no, no. And he becomes entropy. And then, I don't know, Mally the surfer comes and he's like, and then he's going to keep going. Ew, bald dog.

Bald, muscly surfer dog. Ew. I'm giving myself. No, I wrote. No, I forfeit. I forfeit. You lose. I lose.

I lost. I'm going to think of something different. Come back to me. All right. I'm mad at myself. Well, I'm going to give you a one for a bald, shiny, metal, heavy dog. It's more than I deserve, douche. So you're a one out of 15. Mine accidentally plays into douches.

So we might team up on this, because I didn't think about this, but it works very well for you. So I want a quick question. What made Ego the Living Planet a planet? Was he ever a man? He was a science experiment. Ah, sweet. So I get that experiment, and I somehow synthesize it into a drug,

and then I get every single person in the Marvel universe on that drug and everyone becomes a living planet for douchey to eat. That's a good teaming up. Imagine that, you know, you've got your classic like, oh, every Marvel character is a symbiote. Every Marvel character is a planet now. Imagine that, like a Spider-Man planet.

Spidey planet. Spider-Man is a living planet. I gotta say, Mary jane mary jane planet rolls just a big stretched face i just like green goblin trying to throw it off a bridge green goblin the living planet venom the living planet yeah then douche eats them all yeah ultimate nullifier is gonna be overdrive yeah i mean like delicious my plan because you know if they're living planet they can't do much. I killed the Marvel Universe the same way

say, Deadpool did, you know? Turn him into planets, much like Deadpool did. Well like, they're not like, the Marvel Universe is still rocking around. The universe still technically exists, but there's no life in it anymore. But like, it's not good. It's time consuming because well, you're going to have to be a hungry boy

I don't know how many Actually, haven't I made Duschlactus the living planet? Oh yeah Duschlactus living planet eating other living planets I guess he'd be a bigger living planet Every time you eat a planet I like to think you get a bit bigger I mean

I mean a real big Space is infinite until I eat all the planets. Then space is just me. And me, presumably. Then I jump in your mouth, you ultimately nullify yourself. You're just left with the empty vastness of space. Nailed it. In your tummy, Spider-Man and the Living Planets.

Galore. Hey, do we have to kill every dimension? No, because look, Deadpool. I mean, if you want to. Deadpool only killed the superheroes. So if you want to try and get rid of the negative zone, by all means, try. He kills, yeah, because we said it was a one-shot,

but it's not really. It's like a trade. There's three. Because Deadpool kills the Marvel Universe and Deadpool kill-a-strated where he kills fucking Moby Dick. Oh, I see. And then there's Deadpool kills Deadpool where he goes through alternate universes killing himself.

Hey, how did the... Ridiculous. How did the Fantastic Four find God? What? You know what the Fantastic Four found God to get Ben Grimm, the ever-loving thing, his skin back? Oh, right. Yeah. Fuck. No, they meet Jack Kirby. Yeah. I'm just going to tag along with the Fantastic Four. For a bit. Oh, right, yeah. Fuck. No, they meet Jack Kirby. Yeah. I'm just gonna tag along

with the Fantastic Four for a bit. To heaven. To heaven. Ice Jack Kirby with the Glock. Glottum. Yeah, alright. Because that falls into the thing we said at the first, which is you can't just burn down Marvel HQ. Yeah. But Jack Kirby's Jack Kirby

within the Marvel Universe, though. And he made the Fantastic Four. So I'm not, like, doing anything outside of the Marvel Universe. Wait, that means I have to kill... Wait. Is our world in the Marvel Universe? You're in trouble. I'm going to find Jack Kirby.

Is he still alive? No? Ice is grave. Glock is grave Alright I'm giving you Living the Planet I'm giving you

a hot four I did not deserve that I didn't even do the job I just piggybacked on Dushan My idea which got a three by the way

So many of you were strong two and a half I'll take Just to even it out Frankly I'll take I like that you gave yourself I know you gave yourself a zero on the end because I was like why did I give myself a four I know I gave myself four and a half. I'll take. Just to even it out. Frankly, I'll take. I like that you gave yourself, I know you gave yourself a zero on the end. Because I was like, why did I give myself a four?

I know, I gave myself four and a half. I was going to say, not proud enough to give myself a five. Didn't think it was that great. All right. So what are you giving yourself? Give myself a five if I can. Why not? Perfect.

So you got a. I ain't no idiot. You got 11. So you beat me by half a point. Well done. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. So first idea a- I ain't no idiot. You got 11, so you beat me by half a point. Well done. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. So first idea was bust.

Yeah, it was garbage. Now what I'm going to do here is- M's on the phone. She's like, Zamit, you fucked up. You fucking idiot. I'm like, fair. That's a good app. No, not M's.

M. Oh, I see. From like MI6. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bond didn't vote in this. Bond what Oh, I see. From like MI6. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bond's involved in this. Bond, what? Okay. Okay.

Very simple. If you can, if you can like pleasantville yourself into Galactus, I'm pleasantvilling myself into Doctor Doom. Okay. Only because I know he's got a time portal. Sure. Yep. I'm just enjoying myself thinking about the fact that like Bond walks into his office

and Moneypenny's like, M's got a new mission for you. He goes in and she's like, I need you to kill the Marvel Universe. You're going to Pleasantville yourself in. Also, my voice is wrong. It's your most dangerous mission yet. So, arguably, who has saved the Marvel Universe the most? I could not tell you.

Reed Richards, props. So what would be the general consensus here? I'd say Reed The Well Reed causes A lot of the problems Yeah Fantastic Four Probably Okay

So all I gotta do Actually it depends What you mean Cause I feel like Cause Spider-Man and the X-Men Are always dealing with Problems that only affect them

Really Yeah Like but Fantastic Four Occasionally stop Galactus Yeah I feel like Fantastic Four is stopping Like these cosmic level Events Yeah Alright I feel like Fantastic Four is something like these cosmic level events. I've got several plans.

All right. One of them is to wipe out the Fantastic Four. Simply to get a time machine using Doom's time portal and then going back in time and just basically killing all the Fantastic Four's family before they were conceived. Ultimate nullifying some nans. But when they're not nans, when they're young nans. Little nans. Little nolify their nans. Ultimate monolifying some nans. Yeah. But when they're not nans, when they're young nans.

Little nans. Little nans. Little nans. Or hot nans. Yeah, who knows? That way, they'll never exist. They'll never exist

and any kind of problem, as in the very first time that Dushlaktas comes down, no one's there to stop him. Earth gets out. Earth gets out. Done. That's good.

Very simple. Very simple. I like that everyone's just piggybacking my idea, by the way. Well, the thing is, that's one of the very first things that the Fantastic Four did to save the universe, or at least save the Marvel Six on Six world, was to stop Galactus. And that's a very big point. So if you can make sure that they're not there to not stop Galactus,

and Galactus gets his mission of eating Earth, that's a win. Right? Fucking piggyback my idea and get a higher score. So you basically stop the Fantastic Four in its tracks. Or, actually, fuck that. I'm going to Pleasantville myself into a technician on the rocket ship who was like to build the Fantastic Four. Sabotage it.

Challenger 7, was it? That's good. You don't even have to sabotage it. You just need to make it better. Like you have to... Because like the reason they all got... No, no, no. Sabotage it. It's like Zammett don't have the skills to make a

rocket better. Zammett kind of maybe has skills to ruin a thing. So, basically yeah, make sure that either the rocket ship fucks up on launch or just either blows up or doesn't go or whatever, so they don't go into space. They never get their abilities.

They never get cosmic raid. They don't get their abilities. When Duschelactus comes down, he's like, I hungry. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Silver Surfer still surfing around. Has a time.

And then he eats all the planets. Dusch is an unstoppable force. But see, I think you didn't go far enough back with your time machine. I'm just going to go back to the first ever, like, ape man. So, like, the thing is, the Marvel Universe, though, is you're contending with Kree. Oh, that's true. The Kree have been there for ages.

I'll just go back to the very dawn of life on Earth. The moment a creature walks out of the sea. Ultimate nullify. I would just stay at every beachfront, ultimate nullifying everything crawling out of the ocean, until eventually they give up. Wait, can I ultimate nullify Earth? I mean, with a big enough ray. I'd do that.

That seems like you're cheating. Earth never existed. Earth never exists. My other plan. Gotcha, Marvel Universe. Was to kind of buddy-buddy up with this Shi'ar Empire and basically get them to just take on Earth. See, that's clever.

Uses a lot of buddy-buddying. Yeah, I think that's the best thing you got to do is become friends with Earth's enemies. And there's a lot of them. You got the Shi'ar Empire, you got Skrulls. Actually, true. If you just want to take out the Earth, just befriend all the aliens and get them all to attack at once. Yeah, and depending when they drop you in, it's like, I've got so much information. Yeah, that's true. You can take them all out. What about this?

Get, like, a genetic problem. Myself. Uh-huh. Okay, something that'll kill me quickly. Uh-huh. Then at the big bang, if I'm involved in that, does that send my genetic material out into- Are you trying to big bang yourself so that everyone's you? Yeah. Let's see.

I know- No. Let's see. You can't Let's see So I know Thanos Looks back to the Big Bang And he distinctly sees a hand Helping in shaping the universe

Ultimate nullify that Actually that's fair Ultimate nullify the hand in the Big Bang The mystery hand Is it a watcher? I'm not quite sure I think it's meant to be eternity I'm not quite sure from memory

Or it could be explosion Who is part of the Big Bang, apparently. Who knows? If I go back to the Big Bang and try and fuck around there, there's a whole bunch of fellas knocking around. I hope they retcon it against Wolverine's hands. I'm the best I am at what I do, bub. What I do is create the universe. Shing, shing, or whatever he's called.

Shing, shing. It's me, bu Shing Shing. You mean schnicked? No. I made the universe wrong. I got to go back. You're there. You're like, you're hunting mutants because you hate them so much.

You're creeping in the undergrowth and behind you it's quiet. It's dark. You hear this Shing Shing. You're like, ah, what was that? You this shing shing. You're like, ah. What the fuck was that? You wouldn't even be scared. You're like, ching ching. You're like, pfft.

Did somebody drop a heavy coin? Just one long shing. What the fuck? Did someone unsheath like a bamboo samurai sword maybe? That's a very strange noise. What is that? Shing. What? Perfect. It happened again.

Everybody's sound effects being shing is amazing. Cyclops being like shing. Fuck, that's a good way to kill the Marvel Universe. Everyone's too embarrassed to use their powers. Exactly. So they breathe themselves out so i reckon getting good like good friends with um because at times the shia fucking hate the marvel yeah

that's true the shia like this is before like one of the summers brothers takes on the emperor of the shia and becomes the emperor like there's times where it's like everyone hates the lander because she's fucking xavier Yeah? That's wrong. We're bird people. Don't fuck that ape man. Come on. I hate him. What the fuck?

That's so wrong. Come on. No, I'm down. Can I? We're bird people. Ape man. Let the birds and apes make love, Sam. Well, that's fine for me, but, like, I think a Shi'ar purist

would be very mad. Wait. Wait. The She-Ar purists would be very mad. Wait. Wait. So. I find that time where the Marvel Universe and the DC Universe had sex.

Yep. I. The Amaglam Universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knock out the DC Universe with a billy club or whatever. Take its place in the midst of coitus. Slit the throat of the Marvel Universe. Or, fuck it, see what kind of universe we make. See, the thing is there.

You need to either... Jackful. Jackful comics. Jackson the Surfer. Somehow getting a little bit of Dushalactus' power onto you. You become a cosmic being creating your own universe to fuck the Marvel Universe. Yes.

Yes. You unsheath your dick with a shing. Shing. Straight into the Marvel U. Either kill it in mid-goitus or you have technically destroyed the Marvel Universe by making it something different. Yeah.

But with that, what we could do with the DC Universe and the Marvel Universe making sweet love and joining forces and creating the Amalgamation Universe, make sure that doesn't get unmade. Yeah, yeah, keep them boning. Keep them boning, keep them happy, keep them pure. Add in some Barry White. Dusha keeps the champagne flowing.

Yeah. Because, well, we've gotten rid of the Marvel Universe. Yeah, it's amalgam now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a fucking Darkwing or whatever his name was. Darklaw. What if all three of us just bang the Marvel Universe? I mean, if the Marvel Universe is up for it.

Yeah, like then we... You know, if it's consenting. Yeah, of course. Then like... Why not? Then we get our own universe and we win. Three shings and we're out. Like a wobbly...

Shing, shing, shing. Double H. Plumbing the death of all comics. We did it, boys. I'm going to give that idea five stars because we're all involved and that's teamwork. We did it. Marving the death of all comics. Hey, and Disney owns Star Wars, so... We did it Marvin the Death Star comics

Hey and Disney owns Star Wars so and Marvel we're good Perfect Five stars from everyone because you destroyed the Marvel Universe and now we have complete copyright control of our logo We did it

that's a win that's a win for the gang more t-shirts are coming your way guys and on that note I've been Joel, I've been Jackson I've also been Joel fuck your way out of problems shing

was it ching or shame shing there we go Ching! Was it Ching or Shane? Ching! Ching! Ching! There we go. Thanks for listening. If you want to help fundraise in aid of PSC support and listen to a brand new D&D