Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Change A Leopard’s Spots?

Episode Date: April 13, 2025

Could you sit down and talk with a leopard? Perhaps? Probably not, on account of them not being able to speak. Have you seen a zorse? How would you ‘do’ the zoo? Three boys delve into these hard hitting questions, and the answers will shock you to your gorilla loving core.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+Support Jarren's Outpost on Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dndnerds/jarrens-outpost Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joe. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions like How would you change a leopard's spots? That's right. It's a fuckthorne. So the leopard, the famous quote, a leopard can't change its spots. A leopard can't change its spots. Never changes its spots. A leopard can't change its spots.

A leopard can't change its spots. A leopard can't change its spots. Yeah, okay. Do you want the little lawyer? Yeah. I'll go to medium size. Get out your little machine. This is medium machine.

Get out your little machine. This is medium machine. This is medium machine. This is medium machine. This is medium machine. This is medium machine. Spot a leopard car change its spots. Yeah, okay, do you want the uh look? Yeah, I'll go to This is medium machine a medium machine, you know we said speaking of it's a little machine is your phone medium machine Is the laptop what's a big machine? Computer Oh big computer TV TV's the big machine. I wouldn't call TV a big machine TV its own thing Yeah, it's a TV. It's a TV its own thing. Yeah, it's a TV. Yeah I mean unless you've like hooked up your I guess to a TV monitor. That's yeah

Maybe that's the biggest machine Yeah, you got your little tower and then like, you know broke into IMAX Yeah and hook that up and started like, you know streaming whatever it is that you were wanting. Yeah. That is maybe maximum machine. And you're talking big machine. Yeah, biggest machine. Huge machine. I was hoping that this would be interesting, but it turns out that it's just a leopard.

Can never change its spots. It's either can't or doesn't change its spots. Okay. That's funny cause there's a big difference there, I think. Yeah. If it can't change its spots. It might be trying. Yeah. Now we're imagining we find a leopard,

you know, in a jungle on safari. Yeah, near the studio. Yeah, in the studio. What are you doing here, get in. Yeah, we try to buy a new shipment of soft drink or like soda water for the fridge, accidentally buy a leopard. Whoopsie daisies.

And the first thing we think is not, oh boy, time to die. No. It's, I want this leopard to change its Yeah, yes, I'm gonna say it's crazy at the moment there's like two leopard things floating around We're talking about leopards a lot at the moment. I was plumbing the death star. Yeah, ask the internet Because there's like there's so there's a leopard a leopard never changes its spots We just be never to what a leopard never changes its spots

Fast because I'm drinking full sugar coca-cola that is what are you a five-year-old? They're a cunt company that wasn't a shout out. Yeah, fuck I'll consume your poison, but I'm not gonna give you a free shot. I'm not gonna promote your poison, okay? The CEO of Coke should be in prison, and most of the employees directly underneath them should also be in prison, and the company should be in a big hole. That's my feelings of Coca-Cola. God in hell!

Anyway, delicious drink. A leopard never changes its spots, and, and oh no leopards ate my face. Oh that's true, leopards are in vogue. I understand the idea behind the leopards ate my face thing but I find that one deeply annoying. But I think it's because every time stuff like this floats around the left lose another election. And everyone's too busy being like, oh no, Levite my face. Yeah.

Do something! No, no, no, no. How about I do nothing instead? And then I say, hey, hey, can you give me some money? Could've had me, but look at this guy, he sucks. What if I do nothing but feel smug? No, no, no, what if you though, instead, just gave me some money though? Yeah

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hillary Clinton needs money I want a t-shirt that just says that here Hillary Clinton needs money Also, it was really like really like like out of mouth, funny joke. Also it was really like, really like kinda deadpan, Hillary Clinton needs money. I don't know why that's so funny. We should start throwing shoes at the president again. That guy that went to prison had it right.

Oh fuck, Hillary Clinton needs money. She showed us. You're right, Jackson, Hillary Clinton does need money. She showed us. You're right Jackson, Hillary Clinton does need money. That's giving me the giggles way too bad. I think it's because I'm imagining that like, the scenario in my head is that the Clinton, like it's 2016, and as like a part of the campaign they've paid me in an advertising company way too much money, and the ad is just my face but the camera's like

It's like just the top of my shoulders in my head then heaps of empty space Hillary Clinton needs money And then it just goes up I'm with her Yeah, I think it's funny to me as well because there seems to be some like like I don't understand why I don't know why I'm doing this. Oh fuck. Anyway, um, yes, so um, a Lapid. First of all, what is a Lapid? Uh, well.

Big cat? Big cat. But which kind? What? What do you mean? Cause it's a Lapid one of those. So you know how there's like. It's a Leopard.

Yeah, but you know how there's like, you know about to sound either very intelligent or very stupid Oh, it's all right saying Leo podge just reminded me of a time where I was either very clever or very stupid It was actually very stupid. Yeah, I kept reading Kate and Leopold the movie is Kate and Leopard and being like Like the etymology of like leopard comes from, yeah, like Leo being like lion or whatever, and then part being spotted from them? Maybe. And so like, yeah, it was like, oh, it's a Leo part. And then we just kept being like leopard, like leopard.

Like the, well, no, I suppose that leopard. No, follow that thought. Well, there's a- Say that thought, go on. An animal in old bestiary is called the camel leopard. Oh yeah. Which is just a giraffe, but everybody back in the day, because they'd only heard people talk about it, they were like, oh, it must be a combination of a camel, of a camel and

a leopard. But no, I was gonna say, aren't leopards like panthers, in that it just refers to not a specific, like we use it for a bunch of different big cats or is that just panther? No, you know how the leopard is one of the five Extant it was very hot in the genus panthera. Okay panthera no panthera American company, I don't know anything about it I don't know anything about it. Pantera canal? Panama canal?

Yeah. Yeah. Pantera's the band, Panama's the canal. Yeah. Former band. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So my first thought with getting a leopard to change its spots was just to sit him down and have a talk about it. Oh yeah. Just ask sort of nicely. Okay, well let's roleplay this. Okay. Hey, leopard, thanks for the- Oh my god.

What were you expecting? I regret this. Hey, I don't need lip from the peanut gallery You're trying to talk to a leopard at the zoo. I'm standing watching it. Yeah, idiot. What do you think is gonna happen? It's a leopard. I'm you meant to be an expert Hey, where can I buy peanuts around here I got animals to throw them up Is that the ones that like they can meow? Maybe. Crack it open brother. It's medium machine time. People are gonna be like why is he so hesitant?

It's because before we started recording I was like I can't have my laptop open. I will get distracted because there is currently steam sales. Video games would consume Yeah, I think of a cheetah something a cheetah can me out when I one of them is like oh, yeah Like it meows like a big yeah Leopard Your spots as they stand I don't love and I was just wondering if for me you could make a change and just moment You'd probably hear like a thud as a lot as a leopard tries to just like the bars

Please swiping at you. It seems like it's going bad for you, bro Fuck a good look at the chips Leave me the fuck alone. I'm not what do I look like the peanut man? You do look like the peanut man, what do I look like Mr. Peanut or his adult son also named Mr. Peanut? Isn't that Peanut Junior? I don't fucking know You're talking a lot about peanuts with someone who's allegedly not the peanut man I'm gonna go find the zookeeper

Mr. Zookeeper, there's a man here who wants to buy I'm just trying to chat to the fucking leopards You're allowed to be? Do you work at the zoo? Here he is, he'll want to buy. He won't I'm just trying to get to the fucking leopards You can't have this to be do you work at the zoo here. He is he's following me I don't know who this guy is, but he won't show me where the peanuts are and he keeps trying to talk to the animal This guy's you can talk to the animal. Thank you. I take you somewhere. Yeah, you know, it's not like he's going into you No, we're the peanuts. Oh, yeah. Okay. You have a map on you. Yeah, okay Let me bring it over here. I'll show you where I guess the concession stands You should be criticizing the way I go to the zoo.

Brother, shut up. I think if we went to the zoo for real, which we will do one day. Well, we're going to. We have to. We made a bet. We made a promise, but on a sister show basis of speculation. But I feel like if we went, when we go to the zoo, I will be criticized for my zoo strategy. You'll be like, oh, I spent six hours staring at an elephant I'm like yeah, that obvious. I'll be like do you want to start with the turtles and you'll both be like start with the turtles Are you fucked in the head? I'll be like let's start with the turtles. Let's start slow go quick

Okay Speculation the whole zoo trip is gonna be one long argument about how to do the zoo properly. I think maybe JD will be ridiculed for his zoo technique. So do you mean we end with the quickest animal? Yeah. You know that's not how the zoo is laid out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're gonna be just a rest of fucking walking. Wait, where do we think? Okay, first we go to tortoise, then? I'd have to see a map. Okay. Hippos are pretty slow, I think. No! Unless they're in the water, then they're quick.

And also pretty quick on land. Yeah, but they're not that quick. There's some stuff we can skip. Let's see if we agree on this. Okay. The frogs. You don't need to see the frogs. Am I at Healesville or am I at the...

We're at the Melbourne Zoo. There's frogs in Melbourne Zoo? Wait, are you talking about that? Exactly? Wait, yeah, but are we? What kind of frogs? This is fucking stepping into dangerous territory You're gonna start being like first they come for the frogs and you say let's go see the frogs Yeah, and then all of a sudden then they come for the whole reptile house. Yeah, you're like, yeah fuck the reptile house It's good if it's hot and you need to cool down. Otherwise, you can miss it. Yep. I like a reptile house We'll go to Heelsville

Okay, yeah Hillsville no reptiles What do they come up to Hillsville sanctuary is the one where you're in the car? No, you think of where we open range zoo. I am which also does not know what those numbers is It's not so You're thinking of a farm brother. Yeah What else maybe a paddock are you thinking of a paddock? What else can you skip at the zoo? You can skip some of the big cats. Oh What do you like? Will often feature Przewski's horses?

The only true wild horse species. Well if there's a wild horse we'll go see it. Well it's not a wild horse is it? It's in the fucking zoo. It's basically a domesticated horse. Yeah. You could basically ride it. What's the difference between a Przewski horse and a regular business horse? I wish I could show how this horse is spelled.

I understand. I just wanna know. P-R. Pr. Pr. Zed. Prz. E. Prez.

Zee. W. Przoo. A. Przwa. Przwa. L. Przwa.

L. S. Przwa. Przwa. L. K. Przwas Prusuals K Prusuals Prusuals

K I Prusalskis Prusalskis horse? Yeah, Prusalskis horse. Oh! They just look like... They're like horses, but if they had the same texture as like a teddy bear. Oh, that's sick.

They kinda like... They're kinda like... Oh, yeah, that's a sick horse. They kind of go to Donkey Face in a way. They do have a donkey face. Yeah they're a bit mule. I really like seeing the zebras at the zoo. Oh fuck the reptiles but see zebras, nature's fancy horse. Because what I like about the zebra is you look at it and you think oh that's just a horse. Exactly. But then if you stick around, you go, wait a second, that's not a horse. It's over time. Yes.

You start to notice the differences. It's stripes? No, it's skeletal structure. It's mane. It's whole fucking body. And plus the zebra hangs out in the giraffe enclosure so you can see the giraffes too. Your favorite guys.

Giraffes are awesome. Yeah, you look at giraffe and you're like, wait a second, you're not a whore. Well, I got so confused there on my medium sized machine that I just googled Like instead of looking at a zebra to make fun of Jackson pass them where they look to a horse Yeah, actually googled zebra horse Looking at a soul

And I was like hey You get a zonkey. I was looking at a zorse and I was like, I don't remember, does zebra look at this fucked up? Zebra's look more like horses than they look I was like, I could have sworn that there's stripes way more, maybe that's just contour, I spiral But then I realized what happened I was looking at a zorse, now that I'm looking at a zebra, all zebra are back I'm grounded, this is normal for me You know another thing you can skip at the moment do?

Yeah? This is gonna be controversial Okay The whole Australia section Interesting. I've seen a fucking kangaroo Okay, I've seen a wild bat. I would be happier to skip that than I would be to skip the reptile house Yeah, see a freaky snake dude. I guess yeah, it's cool to see the Gila monster. I guess I don't know what that is He's just this guy Gila monster? He's a big guy. He's like the only venomous lizard.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Which is pretty cool about him. Oh, I know that guy. Is that the one like the big guys that like chase bison? They kind of look like a snake cross with a wig. The Gila monster's like it's a... It's got like the fat head of a snake. Yeah.

It's got cool colors too. Yeah. It's like black and orange. Yeah, but you don't want to see, you't you got no time for this fucking guy happily skip him No, he's a good guy to spend most of the time looking at the zebra do like you're not Giraffe or like a rhinoceros or a hippopotamus out of paid cuz yeah when you look at those It's crazy to see those in real life. Yeah, you just don't get a zebra out of every animal That's like associated with the zoo. They don't like it being like it's interesting.

Yeah. But you don't need to stare at it for too long. Well, how long does it take before you realize it's not a horse? I think honestly what the zoo should do is put a horse in that enclosure with the zebra so I can compare and understand what's going on. That is so funny. It's so funny when you're watching me looking at the map of being like okay We're gonna spend like half an hour to an hour at the zebra enclosure obviously Obviously yeah So we're gonna skip Australia

We're gonna script the reptiles cuz I gotta spend two hours looking at this one zebra trying to figure out if it's a horse or not Yeah, and we'll get there. Okay. All right. I go to the zoo map. There's other animals at the zoo that honestly I'll see yeah, but I if I missed them. I wouldn't be upset I'm not my little machine all right. I'll hit you rapid-fire with animals. Oh, yeah cool cuz I got the map Okay, now I want it of three categories. Yep must see yeah can see yeah skip okay now So some of them are gonna have to go I'm just gonna go specific because this is divided into main drive gorilla rainforest forest of wonder Main drive like we don't know

Sir all right main drive we got baboons giraffe Giraffes again I cuz I had it in my head I was like, I don't yeah like whatever yeah, but then when you like stand and you're like Am I gonna like I'm gonna put too many on the must So as must see must see can see can see Basically, yes. No, maybe yeah Draw we just did that kimono dragon Must see. Can see. Can see. Skip. Basically yes, no, maybe. Yeah, okay. That helps.

Giraffe. Oh yeah, we just did that. Kimono dragon. I reckon that's that. Can see. No, I reckon dark. Ah, you're so, so dragon. You wanna see it or you wanna?

It's just a big lizard. It's a big guy, it's a big guy. Yeah. Can see. Can see. Can see. I like that we've also established a kind of voting. Yeah.

We can see, we can see. It's kind of like we are planning our trip to the zoo in a way. Yeah, we are, we are. Yeah. We can do. It's kind of like we are planning our trip to the zoo in a way. Yeah, we are. We are. Yeah. We can see it. I also realize there's some animals I don't know how to pronounce the name of probably because I've never heard them said out loud. I'm excited.

Mm-hmm. Nyala. N-Y-A-L-A. I think it's like a gazelle kind of guy. Yeah. Oh, can't see. Can't see. Can't see. It's not skippable.

Yeah. Because it's weird. Yeah. I want to see weird things. Peckeris? Must see. Must see. Yeah, they're awesome. Yeah. cuz it's weird. Yeah, I want to see what your worries must say. I say yeah, they're awesome Yeah, I don't post skip skip. I see I think

Glad work that we're on the same page You don't get to see the platypus Can't see for platypus out of all these strange animals They're the only ones where I like look at him for a bit. I'm like, you're a cool guy Yeah, I want that's a koala is if you look at him long enough. You like I've come around to you Yeah, I agree. I could skip a koala. Oh, yeah, you know like you can skip them That would be a must safe Last time I was at the zoo he was on his back, and I was like is he dead and I never found out

Big game of putting a train animals in a must-see after previously grouping if I could just see the warm bad I will grill a rainforest. We got the mark and what yes. Yeah, Liam is yeah gorillas lemurs Oh Any ape dude I got a pig me hippopotamus is what yeah, I don't care skipping a you skipping the potamus Yeah, you remember that enclosure. That is an S an S, sorry, an F tier enclosure at the zoo. What do you mean? You go down a little slope, there's like a little hot room, it's always hot no matter the temperature. Glass screens on either side, half is water, half is sky.

Uh-huh. The pick-a-peek of Potamus is always sort of in the distance. You go, oh cool, and then you leave. And it's between apes. So you don't even want to spend time there because you want to see more apes Because then the next thing you hit is tree top apes tree top apes and monkeys Yeah, well look I don't want to skip the hip like okay. Yeah, that's all that's all must see for me. Yeah I would spend because I don't know about the enclosure so again for me Say we've got ten time at the zoo.

I would happily spend 8 of that time exclusively at the gorilla rainforest. They're doing shit. That's what makes the gorillas good to see. They're just like the guys, just like me. You get to watch one as he leans up against, like you see an orangutan with like a stick. And I see me in that orangutan. Yeah, but also he's going through, and there I am, holding his dick, being like, he me! You put your hand up to the glass,

he puts his hand up to the glass. He gets it, I get it. Somehow you accidentally swap, and now you're looking through the orangutan's eyes. He tricked you. Yeah. Stole your body. He mails like freaky Friday, I go, ooh.

Oh, oh, oh. Orangutan lose that zoo. I do my best to never learn a lesson Stay alright, it's a truly Slamming his hand on the glass. He's like pointing put it back Scratching my ass. Yeah, give it a sniff nice There he is with his human wife, yeah, come on honey. You have to go stop Forest of wonder I've

How wonderful is yeah, what are we saying first half week? Okay? Whoa, how wonderful is yeah, what are we saying first half week? Okay? Butterfly house skip skip it's too hot in there You're everything seems to be very temperature based. I get in there and I'm sweating landing on me drinking my neck And that's my neck To be food plus that's fucking the butterfly crows It stresses me out dude. What if I just put my hand down on the railing? Crush a valuable butterfly not that valuable. They're all like last what?

You know, that's true. I guess they do that quick. I'll say that if one of those zookeepers Yeah, dude, I'll just start swatting them Fuck what are these? You can't be upset about me. It doesn't matter dude. Wipe it off my ass. You're like gnats or whatever. I'll just start swatting them out of the sky. Oh fuck what are these? Before you step in just like spraying bug spray all over yourself. I really don't want them to land on me. This is fine though yeah. Forest Harvest which I believe is just a second butterfly house.

Stick insects. Oh skip. Brother I've seen a stick. Unless an ape is holding that, I don't care. I've seen an ape holding a stick insect. Whoa, huge use, because the next part of Forest of Wonder is a Rangit thing. Oh, must see, must see. Otters.

Must see. Otters are great. Now this one is where I come out the bat with a pretty strong. Yeah skip Rainforest Avery. Oh, yes skip fuck birds. Okay Okay, well Squirrel monkeys. Oh, see you must see must see must see climbing the enclosure. Can I get in there? Let them hassle me tiger The tiger is great. Look, all right. I think if you go into the zoo, seeing no matter your feelings, seeing the giraffe, the zebra, the lion, and if they go to tiger, the tiger and an elephant, they're like the zoo classics. Yeah. I know. It just feels like when we get to say elephant, and we say must see, it feels like

I'm like, you know, lumping it in the same as say, yeah, a giraffe. Which I don't feel that way. I think the elephant is to me higher. Elephants are pretty fucking crazy. Well I think with the tiger, the tiger's good, if you're at the zoo, you see the tiger. I rate an elephant, sorry, a giraffe

higher than an elephant. Just. They're close. Rhinos are also fucking awesome. Just, they're close. Rhinos are also fucking awesome. Yeah, rhinos rock. Fuck, they're so big. Rhinos are sweet. They got a sweetness to them that I really like. They're like a, if you put one on a skateboard, it's like being hit by a tram or whatever. Yeah, dude! Honestly.

But I think the- If you don't know what I'm talking about, listeners, ask Nick Mason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think when you see the tiger at the zoo, this is the experience. Yeah. You go, oh, there it is. And then it lies down and you're like, sometimes they don't like it. Oh, they just walk back and forth and you're like, wow, you got to do it. We go to the elephants. That's the tiger. You're gonna do what I did when I went to dream worlds on the gold coast. Um, when I

was experiencing presumably the three park super pauseaws And I stuck my knee in the tiger enclosure and then my knee got stuck and then the zoo keep it good very stressed That's what you want then it's exciting or if you arrive at feeding time and they're giving it a carcass Yeah, that's also great. Oh you gotta go to that zoo that fed the fucking baby giraffe That I would pay to see but seeing just the tiger in the background But it's for me it's to can for me to can see I'm gonna go muscle just cuz I think I have to rate the staples high. I'll be outvoted. That's okay Wetlands Avery yawn skip. Yeah, you can skip skip. I like Wetlands Avery is one of the better aviaries at the zoo. So I'm gonna say can see well too bad

You've been outvoted skip. What are they? We're good. They tell you a bird there are Wetlands ones stalks Australian bush black swan Cassowary Can't see they're dangerous. Yeah. Yeah, but they're like, you know, you can't get up close echidnas. Can't see, I guess. Eemies. Skip. Oh, no, I like drumming back to them.

It's fun. They do interact with you and they seem pissed off. That's pretty funny. Oh, they hate it. Kangaroos. Skip. Koalas. Skip.

Quokkas. Skip. Can't see. Yeah, I'd go with can as well. Rainbow Lorikeet. Skip. Skip. Can see. Yeah, I'd go with can as well. Rainbow Lorikeet. Skip. Skip. Unless you're there, unless it's on the aviaries where like you know you go in there and it lands on you. Then I'm like maybe. But then yeah, ultimately skip.

Regent Honey Eater, which is another bird. Skip. Skip. Skip. Wallabies. Skip. Skip. Skip. Wombats. Can see. Can see. Yeah, I can see. Again, last time I saw it, the wombat was full lying like this. Just like on its back. That's not helpful. It's helpful for you and the viewers. We knew.

You already painted a picture. Yeah, it's on his back. Legs are kimbo. Very comfortable. Like this. It was great. He was not moving. And it did look slightly like he was beginning to bloat.

So he may be of been dead. Yeah, well, we gotta go check in on him. Yeah, okay Then we've got the frogs and reptiles Yeah, I can't even like sell you on it because it's it's still clumped them together So just as turtles and tortoises reptile house a giant tortoises like what? Turtles they are separate and I'll pay them out. I do like seeing the giant turtles I got into the giant turtle enclosure once. I don't know why. I had a really big day at the zoo Giant tortoise or turtle?

Tortoise Okay, cause I'm like giant turtle? And then it was like chasing me around and I was like ha ha ha and the zookeeper was like ha ha ha He's trying to break your legs Yeeees Lion gorge Wow, we're getting we're gorging on some lions fellas Mussy

Mussy Mmm Lion gorge. Wow, we're getting we're gorging on some lions. Oh, yeah must see must see So we got dingo's lion snow leopards must see my Skip what snow leopard? It's just a fucking tiger again go skip dingo's a see no leopard They go must dingo's hit the same thing that zebras hit for me where I look at it for a long time You're not a dog. Wait a second. Yeah, that's a dog. Why? It's really not a dog. Yeah, but it was a time like a dog. Speaking of dogs and dingoes in Hillsville Sanctuary There was this moment where it was like, oh they had dogs in with the dingoes

Yeah, it was like you calm the dingoes down. Nice, but it tricked me Cuz like I went there, a partner, she's from the UK, so she had never experienced a dingo before, and we went there, and she's like, that's just a dog, and I'm like, yeah. You can't. No, that's a room.

No, I mean, well, I know that sometimes they'll have a dingo that breeds with a dog, and then you'll get a half dog dingo. And then I'm like, that just fooling looks like just a dog, then you'll get like, you know And then I'm like that just full looks like just a dog. Huh? Yeah Maybe it's got a little didn't go. That's so funny Just a dog in the enclosure that's insane that there was just a full-on dog Keeping company. Yeah, of course. You're gonna calm them down Rock keep them company. Yeah, of course

Calm them down Snow Leopards absolutely big. Yeah, also the namesake namesake of this episode sort of Yeah, well, I'll be outvoted but to me wrong with you. The snow leopard just fucking lies there doesn't do anything What do you want eyes on a platform? Wait, you kind of go. Oh, is that a bit of white fur? Oh, that's the fucking snow leopard Oh sick, and then you move on because it's fucking meaningless You're trying to go, oh is that a bit of white fur? Oh that's the fucking snow leopard, oh sick! And then you move on because it's fucking meaningless. So your two criteria of what makes an animal good at the zoo is one, if the room is too hot or too cold. Yes.

Well too cold you like, so if the room is too hot, that's a no. And if the animal might potentially not be doing a thing you want to see up close. I get no joy out of seeing a tiny bit of white fur in a bush. Yeah, but why was I getting snow leopards? You've said yes to fucking wombats. They'll be in a hole maybe. They were about. They're doing shit. You don't know!

I get to see one might be dead. I get to see a whole lambat, dude. We're not there currently. It could be in the hole. I'm not gonna put the snow leopard on the must see or can see when you put off chance Then I get to see any more of it than like a bit of its tail no leopard ranking lower than a wombat Yeah, man Leopard every time I've been to the zoo In my well say 30 times. I've been to the zoo in my life,

I've seen the snow leopard up in about once. I guarantee you when we go to the zoo, the snow leopard will be a huge disappointment. Tiger. Must. It's the same as the snow leopard, skip. You're gonna look at a tiger and the look at it, and you're like, that's not a cat

I can picture the enclosure at least the one in the where the elephants are is like a big This is another little it's not worth saying we're up to the last three yeah penguins and skip skip yeah sea creatures Skip that's just reptiles again And now this one is a must see for me. Yeah seals. Oh, yeah must see. Yeah must see dude I'll see if I can find out more information about see last time I was at the zoo In the seal enclosure specifically there was a seal that it just like hopped up It's like a bit where you exit the underwater section

Mmm And there's like a little tiny window into the like behind the scenes part of the zoo and there was a seal that was just Lying there Like he looked loose. He was like not in an enclosure, just lying there slapping his belly, looking at, fuck it rocked. I love seals. Ah, seal, he's lying there slapping his belly.

I look at him slap my back like, same. Hit me, hit me. Hit me, hit me. Hit me, dude. I go to enclosure, put my hand up. He puts his slipper. The seal swaps with you. Like, ah, idiot. Fuck.

And then you get to eat delicious fish heads and swim around mm-hmm the seals also from memory. They always fart Always farting. You see the bubbles so whenever you see the and there's like a big great section underwater where you can you it's like an underwater Window and you just watch them dance around they're always farting dude. Yeah, fuck yeah. There's also a Ben and Jerry's stall I don't know Ice cream rocks. Oh you hate ice cream. Yeah, that is true.'s also a Ben and Jerry's stall at the You hate ice cream yeah, that is true fucked in the head Anyway, Leopards changing its spots or whatever Exercise in the fact that Jackson will never change his spots even under immense pressure and nonsense Yeah, I think your opinions make absolutely no sense up against the other Care I hate ice cream. I love milkshakes

That's they're different. They are different. Yeah, we've actually cracked the case You like milkshakes because you the only joy you get from beverages is the speed in which you consume Yeah, that's why I don't like thick shakes. Yeah, you gotta slow slows him down Yeah, I don't want to think shake so bad suck it down dude. That's exactly He's all about the swallow. Yeah, I gotta go to the milkshake. Swallowing feels good consuming feels good Yeah, yeah, I know I've definitely made fun of you for this before but because of the speed you drink you believe I don't taste drinks. You don't you do taste them, but not in the way that a normal person does Yeah, just tongue. Go stretch the back of his throat

I legitimately think that Jackson drinks in such a speed in which, so usually for us, you get the flavor of whatever you're consuming as a first flavor. And then when you swallow, aftertaste. That action is so fast for Jackson that the taste that he gets the most of is aftertaste. Yeah, it just smacks so quickly in the aftertaste. Aftertaste and whatever it coats your mouth in. Yeah. I enjoy that.

Yeah, I know, I know, but like you're sk- It's like if you get a meal and then you just like cut a third out of it and then just throw it on the floor. Why? Yeah, but I reckon like- You might as well, if you just took- Yeah, but the thing is by the time that we take to eat one meal, he's eaten two. Yeah, exactly. That's true.

I'm so quick, dude. And there's a joy to being fast. There's a pride. Yeah, well, I mean, you get to make that cool noise of when you drink or eat too fast, and you've made yourself tired. I don't know what it is. Like a snake once has eaten a whole buffalo. I need to lie down.

He just needs to lie down, because this is like, oh, my... Snake one once it's eating a whole buffalo Usually my teeth would you know master case No, no, no, no, no. Well, no, it's an overdrive. Yeah, Jackson doesn't traditionally get tired after meals He gets tired during them where he's like Good drink. I love freaky fucked up soda flavors that I don't taste. Yeah. I guess yeah, your neck does a lot of the work. My neck does what your teeth do. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. And yeah, I really like the act of consumption. It's very pleasant for me. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Like, swallowing can be satisfying, but you know if you like slow it down a little bit,

you still get to swallow the drink. Yeah, but what am I doing? It's a waste of time. He's so busy. He's got things to do. What's Jackson doing? He's like, I'm going to eat quick. I've got things to do. What's he doing? What's he doing? What's he doing?

What are you doing either side of a meal that you're going to hoe that down fast? Well, did I ever tell you that, like like I had a conversation with my family about it? We're all of the same opinion. We're like, yeah gotta get it over with dude Gonna get it done so you can move on if your family minus your brother said they don't enjoy the taste of food full stop I believe them. Yeah No, I mean, I mean my brother here. He ate a whole Coles Roast chicken once yeah in one sitting yeah

And he would have probably been quick about that. We're quick Does he eat his famous nachos quick yeah, but I drink the quickest Because what am I I genuinely yeah can't really comprehend Do you know how to drink like Like what are you doing? Because like Like if I take this drink, okay My aim, my goal here is to get this delicious Mount Franklin lightly sparkling watermelon

The entire can Just to get this liquid that's in here into my guts And I go And I did it What other bit am I missing? That was more of a normal scene. That was way more normal. Well, I'll try and drink a Jackson style then, okay?

For you. Yeah, okay, yeah, there's a very, I honestly think there's an audible difference for our listeners at home. See, hang on, let me try and do this Jackson style. Yeah, there we go, you're doing a Jackson style. How good is it to his credit is a rush yeah your brain goes into panic is like I am I shouldn't be

doing this also just a clarification were you sucking when you drink? I don't think so. I'm not trying to open the gullet, I'm trying to like You're going red. I can't open that. That's probably a sign that the way you drink isn't correct. Cause I was just experiencing the thrill. Rad Bull should sponsor me dude.

Yeah, no it's It's a light headed. It's good. It's a good way to be. We're gonna start just drinking fluids at a rapid pace. Yeah, like I'm all- Jackson had it right. I do feel a bit tired. Yeah. It's exhausting. But like okay, so like yeah, okay level with me. Yeah, so the water the liquid goes into your mouth. The way you drank the first... Is anything else happening? Also now I'm a bit burpy so I think he'll feel that as well.

Yeah, because you've sucked down a huge amount of gas. You have, real have, yeah. And also because the gas pretty much bypasses his mouth, it's just straight into his stomach. Yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it. He's doing bubbles. Yeah, yeah. A lot about me can be explained by the way I drink. Which is funny because you're giving him a free pause. You're like, I've got lots of bubbles now

That's why he burps so much. Yeah, but if he just drank Yeah, it's good it's different are you swishing it around I'm just slow about it. Like you take a sip, right? It's just a very simple because you suck with such a force that you Can see that the liquids pretty much going from? The like vessel to back of the road. Yeah, why does it need to hang out in my mouth? So just an evolutionary thing we're like like, oh this berry's bitter there! Poison!

You know what? You wouldn't know. I wouldn't know, dude. I mean, Jackson would be tricked by poison. I would have been bred out, is the thing. In prehistoric times, I'm dead. Because I go, oh sweet dude, berries! He ate twig and leaf and all, man!

He's like the branch! Oh, this tastes weird, and I'm and all, man! He ate the branch! Oh, this tastes weird, and I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I think, oh, this tastes poisonous, it's made me feel unwell. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. I'm really tired.

Who wants to lie down? I'm sweating, but the sweat's kind of burning. Yeah. Anyone else feeling that? Oh, none of you ate the berries. But I ate them so quick. Yeah, I ate 40. What a rush.

Oh, mercy me. I guess you could just paint a leopard. Yeah, I was gonna shave it and then take it to a tanning salon. Oh, nice. Because I'm assuming the pattern of the leopard is on the skin, right? I would think so, yeah. So, because unless it's not. Like what happens if you shave a leopard?

I think it, I think it does remain. I think it is on the skin. I think it's a pigment on the skin that then, yeah, grows into the fur. Cause one, you could either, yeah, shave it completely and then you take it to a tanning salon. Or. So I think that's probably where the,

the leopard can't change spots or whatever it comes from. Because yeah, it's the pattern is on their skin. I'm looking at a very, very cute, oh, that's a cheetah. Cause I was gonna suggest what you could do. Well, how, you know, I guess with those humans, how we often change our hair color or care. And it's like, you know, you could dye it, of course, but stress.

Oh, stress. Stress the leopard out. Unfortunately. Or an incredible trauma. Okay. Where like, you know, it goes like a shock of white hair Stress the leopard out. Unfortunately. An incredible trauma. Okay. Where like, you know, it goes like a shock of white hair. Throw the leopard off a waterfall. Yeah! You said, yeah, we're talking to you.

Yeah, I did. No, but that's you at the edge of Niagara Falls with the leopard. You go to throw it and it clasps onto you. Yeah, and then you both fall off. And then you both emerge from the water with white hair. Yeah, and it flips over and lands on me. Yeah, so.

It walks away. So dead on the rocks. So a leopard, we'd have to, so you can't do anything towards fur to change its spots, I guess. Ugh. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Um, yeah. Yeah. Oh, feel good, boys. Yeah. Oh, feel good, boys. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Um. Woo. Okay. Um. Do you have a, do I have a tell you about that guy? Oh, no. No, speaking of people jumping off waterfalls. Have I ever told you about the guy in like the 20s or something? He did it as like, it was his job.

Hey, hey mom, hey dad, I just got a new full time job. I jump off waterfalls. No, they put him in a barrel. Oh sorry, no I don't jump off waterfalls. I sit in a barrel and get thrown off waterfalls. Yeah, that was basically, and he would survive, and that was his whole sort of deal. And people would pay money, he became very popular. I think he might have done it with his horse too. Is it his job? What did he just start doing?

He just started doing it, and people paid him. So he was self-employed. Yeah, he was self-employed, he was his own boss. But then he became very famous, he did it like time and time again like he was very well known He always came back and then there's one story where he came in his horse leapt off the top and they landed in the water and everyone was like Well, yeah, that's and then it was like something like six months later They found he obviously died and then he froze like the river froze and they just saw him on his horse

I thought the water and had to get him out I just think that's so if we like this is this guy the thing that's amazing about him is he goes off this Waterfall in a barrel and then he always comes back up and then there's like a crowd of 40 people and he goes over You're like just wait. It's you. Hey, he so he'll be fine just wait he's got to be down there somewhere aww what is that horse thinking? hey horse come into this barrel brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr brrrr And then into the water fall. And then I can't remember if the horses done it multiple. Well, we used to dive horses. What did they think was happening?

Come on, very high up. Now I'm very wet. Come on. To the side. OK. That's a crazy thing we did. But what a sight to see. Oh, it's just truly a bliss.

Why did we stop? Well, who can say? Do you reckon we should put a leopard in that barrel? Yes, dude. Would that stress it enough? To make it... Yeah, might do. It might do. What about we get CRISPR? You know CRISPR?

The gene sequence editing thing? Software? We could make it first say whatever we want. Dirty words. If you introduce that to the leopard population, you could... I mean, that's great branding. Coca-Cola leopards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they... No? Fuck Coca-Cola.

Well, what's an ethical brand? There is none. What are we going to advertise that we love? Apes. The leopards are wandering around advertising apes. It just says apes on their fur. Got apes? Yeah, exactly.

And then our phone number. People can call us, put the apes there, fine. Because then you do that to a couple of leopards. Yeah, what do they call? founder gorilla Send a photo That's sick dude, the rules man Yeah, send a photo Are you not gonna take the gorilla? No, dude, I don't have the facility

Dude, I would take every gorilla if I could I just simply do not have the facilities. Dude, I would take every gorilla if I could. I just simply do not have the room. No, I just want to know that you've got apes. And if you can, just send me a sweet ache. Send me some photos. That's what I'd love to see. Because if you, so say we took a couple of leopards. Yeah.

And we genetically, using CRISPR, we modified their DNA so that their fur, and we shaved them, skinned them, what if we had to do? Shave them? Shave them. So that their fur grew we shaved them skinned them whatever So that their fur grew back in the word we wanted yeah, then those leopards bred with other leopards Yeah, are we eventually gonna breed a bunch of leopards that have whatever words we want in their fur on them Oh, maybe not whatever words because if they just these like amalgamation of fucked up half words and spots Yeah, because we're still reading it with the spotted

Population what about this? Yeah, we this is a good way to make money go on Okay, I call this the great lepid Jesus scam So we I am listening we crisper a leopard. Yes Yeah, so that on the back of its fur it looks like an image of Christ. Yes, the Lydina. And then we say, "'Tis a miracle." "'Tis indeed a miracle." We contact the Catholic Church, I say, hey, oh, guess what I got?

And then I show them the lepid, and we breed the lepid to get a bunch of Jesus lepids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we just- Yeah, can we also breed the stigmata into them a bit as well. Yeah, of course six and then we just say these are miracle lapis Yeah, and we over time sell these to the Catholic Church, whatever, you know, you got a Catholic Catholic Catholics Yeah, any church that wants a lot. Yeah, I want to want a stigmata leopard. Yeah, exactly. How much we charging? Gotta talk to you. How much is a leopard base? Yeah, good question five thousand five thousand probably too cheap. I don't know I think like 10k Where's he going he's giving his phone they throw on the floor how in the hole away

We bought one leopard one crisper how does a crisper machine thing work? That is also something I don't know. I understand you can edit your chains. Yes. OK, I'm gonna live with you. I don't. I don't understand. Let me look up crisper.

Oh, crispy sriracha chicken. Didn't someone like, they were like, oh, a trans person was like, I'm gonna crisper. That's right. They crisped themselves to produce estrogen. Yeah, yeah. God, that's awesome. Great. But I'm like, how?

Here we go. How it work? I don't understand. Leopards cost between half a million and two million dollars. Wow, that's expensive Yeah, plus the stigmata leopard is going to be real expensive I think we have to sell to the church because I don't think the regular like John Q Catholic is going to be able to afford this leopard Now unfortunately buying and selling leopards is illegal in most countries

Well what country isn't? Russia? Wow, that's for Daniel boys That's for Daniel indeed most countries. Well what country isn't? Russia? Wow. Dasvidanya boys. Dasvidanya indeed. How much is two million dollars in... I almost said Kren. What the fuck is Kren? You're making up currencies dude. You know the Russian Kren? I do. Of course. Didn't they do okay? They increased the size of rice with crisper Okay, so we get okay wait wait what hang on Okay, look before I before when I said I'm sorry before when I lied and I said I understand the crisp bridge

Yeah What now I think I know even less than I thought okay? So I can modify Um, what? Now I think I know even less than I thought I did. They, okay. Uh, so. So what, I can modify rice and a leopard? So, uh, scientists have already used CRISPR to produce virus, bacterial and fungal resistant crops that can cope with extreme heat and cold. They've also increased the size of rice, wheat and maize grains and produced bigger and better soybeans and brassicas.

So I can make a big leopard. Well you could make the leopard bigger, yeah. And resistant to temperature. And resistant to temperature, which could be cool. That's kinda neat. Made foods heartier, improving animal health, this is close. In one experiment, pigs were rendered immune to respiratory diseases like swine flu. That's cool.

They also focused on avoiding painful procedures such as the removal of cow's horns. So maybe, so... They bred horn-free cows! What the fuck? So I think we can do whatever we like to this leper. Yeah, so stigmata lepers back on the table. I think so. Russians Catholic?

What's a big religion in Russia? Russian Orthodox is a variety is that a Christian? I think yeah. Yeah, I think Russian Orthodox is Catholic. Mm-hmm. I'm pretty sure I don't think it's Protestant Stigmata would be bad if wait. No, isn't most of them like stigmata? No, no, no stigmata would be bad if they're not Catholic. Why why don't the Protestants like stigmata? It's all Jesus Yeah, sorry If it's not Catholicism, stigmata would be bad for any other religion. Why? Well, for like... Muslim or Jewish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But Catholic is a form of Christi... No?

No, no, Christianity. Yeah, yeah. He didn't know what to hang on to. Yes, he meant Christianity, but he said... Gotcha! Yeah, Christianity. Big Daddy one. Christianity. Yeah, as long as there's some form of Christianity. We're good Yeah, they need to be Christians. It's bad whenever we have to Wikipedia or anything cuz listen to this I just looked up the Russian Orthodox Church, right? Okay, the primate of the rock that ox church back. We're back with apes

I guess this primate means something else other than ape We don't know I guess. Does primate mean something else other than ape? We don't know. Orthodox Christianity is the most wildly professed religion in Russia. Yeah. What's this primate thing? What's this primate? The primate of the Russian Orthodox Church is the patriarch of Moscow and all of Russia. So, Moscow...

Primate is a title rank bestowed to some archbishop. So, okay. Primate means... Primate, like you would say for gorilla, is a title rank bestowed to some archbishop. Primate? Primate, like you would say for gorilla, is a title. So Moscow isn't being run by a gorilla? No, but it's still crazy that you could be like, what role do you have in the church? Oh, ape. I'm the primate.

I'm the primate. I wonder if it's said differently. The pronunciation guide looks different too. Primate maybe? Primate maybe? Primate That's... Would be my guess

That's like a fancy way of saying primate Yeah, it's still primate It's still fucking primate You're still the gorilla I would rather be like Gorilla in chief Yeah, gorilla in chief of the church That sounds great

That's awesome Um, okay Okay, okay Well, so we could sell the leopard, that's one way to do it Okay, what if, um, can, like with other, like the the the the sauce or the zonkia? Yeah What can we breed with the leopard to change its spots? Why not a sauce? Guys the leopard ate the sauce We put one

100 leopards and 100 sources together and none of them are fucked. Now we've got 100 leopards and zero zorses but the leopards are really full. We have to buy more zorses which is so expensive because leopards are so expensive. Okay, what do we do? You send 50 zorses out there and you've spiked their meat with some kind of sexual stimulus. Okay. Then you leave the other, you let them out first. They get eaten. Well then the leopards get horny.

Yeah. Then you send out the next 50 zorses. Yeah. Okay. All we've done is made the leopards horny for each other. Oh yeah. And we've lost 50 of them eating all these zorses. We're down another 100 sauce

But we are making You're like the fuck this is We are making a lot of lepers Yeah okay We can open like a tiger king, leopard king style Yeah And what began as a simple plan to make a sauce fuck a leopard Has turned into one of the country's largest big cat azus

Biggest leopard farm in this side of Mississippi Because if we did finally after hundreds and hundreds of sources make a leopard and his horse fuck. Mm-hmm. What? Is it pregnant? Gives birth to just a regular source. We're like is this surely that kind of examined at the dingo inclusion like this It's like a pit leopard here. So it's not just a regular like surely that was the that was a leopard That's a leopard. It's not the other

Right, right. Surely it's not just a source in it. Why did we buy so his horses male sources? Cuz I wanted them to fuck the leopard oh Just drive yeah in fact making just a sauce. It's not even doing what we wanted What if we just instead of a little pay fall? I know we are like 200 sources deep Yeah, but what if we got like a tiger? Oh, okay? We're not order another 100 I got a sauce guy okay Holding another hundred for us right now Joe Dusha is putting my kids for college

So what if we go like a leopard you know making sweet love to a tiger? Could do it and then you get a liger which possibly exists. No, a liger is a lion in a tiger. It should be a leo. A leoga. A type to see if it exists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a crossbreed of a leopard.

But I think I've become sort of consumed by Dusha's lust to make a horse cat. It will work eventually. I have another hundred Zors. Okay. Their DNA has been weakened by becoming Zors like horse chepers. Typically that makes them infertile. No. I'm imagining that it means that the DNA thing is like looser so maybe they can breed with other things. Right. So, okay, I'll let you- there, so you can get, um, this, uh, leopards. You can get a lot of cross breeds of, like, other panthera. So you get the Leopons, Leopard and Lion. The Ligards or Leogurs, which is a Leopard and Tiger. Hey! And a Pumapods, which is a Leopard and a Puma.

Okay. Puma pods feels iffy. I don't know why. Yeah, but something about it does. Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we can, I guess, yeah. If we're gonna-

We could artificially inseminate them. Why, are we back to the Zorse? Yeah. Well, they just got all this Zorse juice. Yeah, I got heaps of horse. He's got all this Zorse- Yeah, I bought three hundred sources through in ten leaders Hundred all right It was by once you hit the three like I filled out my loyalty card

I just gave me ten liters of sauce calm okay nice now I'll get a like a lep jag which is a Jag. Oh, okay, nice. You also get a lep jag, which is a jaguar. Oh, okay. I don't want to be the guy who has to artificially inseminate the lepids. I get all this incredible Zorskum. I then get a turkey baster.

I'm like, someone distract the lepids. That's why I love them. Someone distract the lepids. Okay. The lep- Okay. The leopard is mauling me. Oh no! The leopards ate my face! That's every single time you see someone say that on the internet.

They're not talking about Trump being fucked over by Trump. They're talking about the man who had to distract the leopards, whilst the other man tries to artificially inseminate them using Zorscom through a turkey-based It's so funny much as a leopard has its like paws and its mouth on my face And I'm like this will be the worst moment for you to insert the horse come it is gonna surprise It is gonna crush my head with its poor. Yeah, but you're gonna die a hero. Yeah

Yeah, we filled up this leopard Now now What's the insemination length for a leopard? Who knows that just seems like something you know, Jackson I'm gonna say I'm gonna throw this out there. Actually during lockdown you claimed that the gestation period for a human was 12 months. That's I don't think it was during lockdown I was just everyday life. I had no excuse. We were in Sydney. Yeah Four months for a lapid. I'm throwing that out there. Oh, mom's surely not three to six I've changed Asian period is 90 to 105 days. Well, he nailed that. Yeah, brother

I'm across it 90 day fiance Well, he nailed that yeah, brother. I'm across it 90 day fiance Yeah, if you could breed two animals together that don't normally breed what would you pick? Yeah, but that's I mean we'll potentially give an ape wings Gorilla and an angel It's awesome to imagine that so beautiful you know like in the Bible that's like that bit with the angels came down and had sex with mankind yeah I love I'm the angel who's fucking your gorilla then I look over and see

everyone fucking I'm like oh that's those are humans sorry I just couldn't I just couldn't, I just don't know. I just didn't know. I'm from heaven. It'd be rude to not finish, right? I'm gonna finish in this gorilla and then I'll come over there and start helping you out. I was thinking like alligator is like a good start. I like, um. Alligator and?

I don't know, I'm trying to figure out. Well, I was thinking maybe you've got like a gorilla and an eagle. Yeah. Gorilla and eagle, I mean gorilla and angel. Like yeah, those are good. Maybe an elephant and an angel. No, an elephant. I mean like yeah, it was a good maybe an elephant and an angel What do you want an alligator to have I mean our horse means longer legs and a floppy tail probably

Long ahead becomes like it's not flat and longer, but it like fills out. Yeah. Yeah, it gets nice alligator and sauce is good Actually, yeah, I think that's maybe what I do alligator and horse and then yeah Yeah Excuse me alligator and sauce. Well, yes. Here's what I'm thinking too. Mm-hmm I got alligator and not sauce or horse. Mm-hmm alligator and cow Then all of a sudden you because with this technology we can milk any animal That's true. You just pick an animal you combine it with a cow you get milk that's delicious so I go alligator and horse I mean and then you milk the fuck out of that horse

milk that horse is beautiful. Then I get delicious alligator horse milk and I go oh I think we're gonna go the opposite way and be like because people like to eat alligator or crocodile mmm because it has a distinct taste mix that with beef. Oh, yeah True crocodile beef Fish in a cow then you've got surf and turf in one meeting like snake and a spider to make something real Forms of locomotion together at last like like a real fucked up, like, millipede. Yeah, like you know those ones on the Amazon that are giant, whatever, but worse. Too, like, so vague, with way, like, long legs. Commodo dragon and a dog would be good.

Whoa, a dog that can kill you. Dogs can kill you, as is. Yeah, but not as easy. Yeah, they don't have toxic spit on them. This would be a scaly dog that can kill you. Or anything with like, again, the Komodo dragon and a cow would be pretty bad. Poison milk!

And poison by! The milk that kills you. Just regular milk fine. I'll take the milk that kills you. I like to start my day with some Coco Pops and milk that will kill me. But you can also do this with Sheep get alligator wool. That's true. You want get a wool. Would it just be scales? I

Don't know. Yeah, the woolly scales. Yeah do it. Oh, what about I know you will I like the angel? Mm-hmm. What about like an ape in a bat? Whoa Wings that same color and yeah, it's cool, it's scary. I think that you see a gorilla with Bat wings, you say Satan is real. Oh, it's the devil. Yeah. I see.

I've spent my whole life in sin, and now the devil has come to claim my soul. Oh, is that an ape with bat wings? OK, cool. How is real? Am I having a mental break? I need to go lie down again. I don't know.

I'm not even at that point. I'm just like, how is real? Heaven might not be but It's time for Joel It looks like an I Think I go I think my final answer is man and snake and I'll make a snake man Going with Bake or Sam Snans sorry excuse me yeah, and I'll just keep I'll just say this is my snake man. Yeah

Be careful he bites. He bites and he can unhinge his jaw. Yeah, you can do man and cow Man milk yeah, they call that breast milk. Well... Babies drink it. Not the way I'm making it. Well, I think when it comes to a leopard changing its spots, it's actually easy. You just need to simply cross breed it with a thing or give it stigmata and then sell it to the church. Exactly. It's a very simple, elegant solution. Yeah. A leopard can change its spots, it just chooses not to. Exactly. It just requires a little bit of out-the-box thinking.

Oh, yeah. Exactly. And you know, if you got a problem with the way I drink, you can go to hell. Where you will be greeted by Lucifer, a gorilla with bad wings. Yeah, exactly. And on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson.

And I've also been Joe. This has been another episode of Plumbing the Death Star. And we, well, we've been the Plumbers. Whoa. Wrench Wrench. Wrench Wrench. Wrench wrench. Wrench wrench. Wrench indeed. Like a plumber. Yeah dude.

Like a plumb. No it doesn't work. Never mind. Enjoy! See ya.