Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Date if You Were a Superhero?

Episode Date: September 27, 2026

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (we assume it went well) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 8.It's the last episode of the lock in and the last episode of My Super Ex-Girlfriend Month! While I promise we do maybe answer the question, as it's just a simple problem we can figure out, the majority is mostly spent on bullying Jacksom's food choices after he got icecream. Today's episode really is a masterclass in how to work really hard at the not listening factory.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+Our Sponsors:* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, a finale of a trilogy for now. It's a finilogy. Yeah, it's a finilogy, the final part of a trilogy for now. A finilogy for null. Yeah, finology for null. It's a finology for null here at Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel.

Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy, pop culture, podcast, and I see important questions. And much like last week and the week before, hey, guess what? It's another super ex-girlfriend episode. You can't let the three of us watch a movie. It's possibly the most dangerous thing you could do, especially a movie from the 2000s. That's our kryptonite. Now, my super ex-girlfriend raises a lot of questions,

so we've covered a lot of ground. But one thing we haven't covered is, how would you date if you were a superhero? Being my super-ex-girlfriend, his super-x girlfriend is a super-girlfriend. Okay? And she dates Luke Wilson, who is, let me just check.

Not super at all. He's just a fucking schlop. Yeah, Matt Slubb. Saunders. Matt Slubb, Saunders. Yeah, and like, he's not even a good guy. Like, he stinks. He's lost.

He's Mr. Average. Exactly. Best. And it, but in the- Maybe below average. Yeah. I will say, in my super ex-girlfriend, there's no other superheroes for G-girl to date. That's true.

So she has to date a mortal man. Yes. Okay. She goes about it strange style, which I think we covered in the first episode. She does go about it. about a strange style where... You're gonna understand, for you listeners, that first episode was two weeks ago.

For us, it was yesterday, but your memory's better than ours. Yeah, exactly. You'll remember it better than we do. But... We haven't left the studio since we saw it. That's pretty good. I've been in the studio since 10 a.m. yesterday morning.

We went and got a burrito. I guess we did leave the studio. I did happen. I ate little ice cream. Oh, nice. It was vanilla with Dolce de Lacee on the top and the churo in it, but I only really ate the chiro in it.

and the Dalje de leche covered ice cream bits and I left about this much ice cream because ice cream's kind of who cares Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I forgot because I would have yelled at Jackson Jackson what do you not really like Ice cream? Jackson we went to a Mexican restaurant that had lots of different desserts

What did you order? Ice cream But the one with Juro in it They sell churos Yeah I don't want a whole churro You ate a whole chiro You got a whole chiro You ate the whole chiro in the ice cream

You paid more money for a thing you did The Chiro Sunday was like $6 and Chiro was like three You could have got the Dalche Gubon Oralte defton sauce Yeah, Dalchette Gabon from the side

Give me that Dolcein Gubon and different sauce Okay Why do you do that? Why do you go to places and order food You know you don't like? That's what I might have liked it. It was too much ice cream is a problem It was a Sunday

Thought he might have liked that It was too much ice cream. It, look, for listeners who don't know what... An ice cream is. No, but like, you're probably imagining, because he said it sure Sunday, it's like really big. No, it was like a... Like a Dixie Cup kind of thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He both said yes, but in different ways. Yeah, and I'm like, yes! Yeah, it's like a Dixie Cup. The circumference of a can of Coke. Yeah. And I thought there was more Daltianel. I like caramel stuff at the bottom, because that's when I was eating it.

I was like, eh, it's just ice cream now. But it kind of was, but not much, you know? So it's like, kind of, eh. You just want to just eating vanilla ice cream. You just get the churot. You wanted a chiro and the caramel sauce. Yeah. That is something you could have ordered.

Yeah. Yeah. He's not listened. He's stopless. Why, though? Look, I don't understand the logic. He's stuffless. I think, I think, on the menu, I had to get two.

churots and I only wanted one. But you would have just got it in a bag and paid less. I didn't want a whole chiro. You ate a whole chiro. He didn't want two whole chiro. My real ones understand. No one understands. Everyone's listening

being like, what's wrong with this man? So, in a world. What you did is like I ordered a burger. It's like if I was like, oh, man, I'm going to get that piece of shit burger with

tomato because I really like tomato. Yeah. But I don't want to eat a whole tomato, but I will pay an extra five bucks to get... Well, they have that tomato on the menu. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want the shit burger with tomato because I want tomato. Did you like at least, you know, well, you're like a churo is a bit, it's hot. It wasn't hot.

It was cold. It was a bit cold. I like the, you know, how, when you have ice cream with the chiro, it's like, well, it's a bit of, you know, I like the juxtaposition of, like, a cold churo with cold ice cream. Well, you gotta remember, I had some of the ice cream. If there'd been that much ice cream alone and the churo, that would have been the perfect dessert. It's just that there was too much ice cream.

You started complaining about the ice cream legitimately after two mouthfuls. And by mouthfuls, I mean, with the little scoopy cop. Yeah, well, yeah. So your ideal amount of ice cream wouldn't have even been enough to smear on the churro. That's how much ice cream I wanted. You didn't want any ice cream. A bit of ice cream. I ordered it. A little tiny bit. You ordered it because it was the first thing you saw is what I think happened.

Now, was it the first thing you saw? I think it was the most interesting thing on the menu. I'm fairly sure. That might have played into it somewhat. I'm fairly sure. It wasn't that longer though. How do you not? I'm fairly sure. I don't even think Jackson really locked in that he'd ordered what he ordered until he'd finished eating. He's like, oh yeah. Now, I'm fairly sure. the dessert menu of this fast food establishment, the only picture on the dessert menu is of the Chiro Sunday. No, there's pictures because it was another Sunday.

It didn't want. It was chocolate. No, it's the same Sunday. Yeah, but with chocolate rather than Dolceadeleche. But they asked. You said, can I get a Chiro Sunday? And they said, because they didn't... Yeah, but on the menu, you can see both. Yeah, which is proving his point.

That you just wanted what you saw. Monkey C. Monkey Eat. Oh, on that one, it will come into flavors. But? What flavor? Didn't you just say that there was only the one Sunday visible on the menu? The Sunday is one item. Yeah, but they have a picture of both kinds.

It's the same Sunday. It's like saying a chocolate Sunday and a caramel Sunday for McDonald's are a different item. They're not. It's just a different flavor sauce. Yeah, that's a different item. There's other desserts there, though, that there wasn't pictures of is what I'm saying. Uh, yeah, maybe.

You weren't reading. You were just looking at a picture. He was looking at a picture. There was churros, the two Sundays, and then some other shit. Yes, exactly. Okay. And of all of them...

I'm fairly sure one of them's cheesecake. It's very far out. I don't remember that. The churos, the two Sundays, and some other shit, and of all of them, that you went with the one with the pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. it. Hey, look, I fucked up there too. I ordered slightly too much food. A sign got me too, because they were like,

we've changed our chicken tenders. And I was like, I don't really want chicken tenders, but they do make a good chicken tender tacos. I'll get the food I was planning on getting, a burrito and chips and a drink. Yeah. Chicken tendy. And then I finished eating the taco and the chips that I went,

too much. Too much, bro. And I ate the burrito anyway. And it was, hey, all the food was good. It was just too much. Yeah, I get it, dude. That ice cream was too much. It was way too much.

It would be awesome and is really attempting to do it now, but I reckon he'll remember. But if I said, what did I eat? I remember. Chips, burrito, a taco, soft shell. Yeah. He nailed it. I'm across it, brother. I'm paying attention.

Yeah, because he was looking at it because he would have finished eating his Sunday far before I got into my food. Yeah, dude. So you were bored. Kind of my ideal candy or like sweet is like one little block of chocolate. That's like kind of perfect for me. Do you know how easy that is for you too? I do. I live that life all the time, brother.

I'm just saying it. Why don't you do... You do that here, though. Yeah, I know. But you don't. Did he just say I do this here? And I said, yes, and then he said I don't. You could do that here.

Yeah, it did sound like it. Yeah. Well, I don't always want a dessert here. Yeah. No, but as in like... When you go to... When you go to the little store, because you're working so hard. Yes.

You get yourself a little treat. You go, damn. I mean, working real hard at the not listening factory. No one works hard at that factory. Do you know how hard it is to do a whole podcast and still contribute

without listening once? No one's doing it. No one's doing it. It's tough. But yeah, you'll go buy, say you buy an era. Yeah. Because you can't get one block of chocolate. That's what I mean. But you could stop, you could buy that and then break it off and then you wrap it up and put it in your bag. Maybe I should

do that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because I think there's two things. That's what I'm saying. Because there's two things that compete in my head, okay, when I get a sweet, when I get anything, okay? Should I try something new that I'm going to hate? Yeah, that's novelty. Yes. Or, like, this desire to have something that's, like, maybe slightly interesting or is slightly different, you know, which is sort of one of the many drives inside my brain.

Or, like, the simplicity and, like, the satisfaction of a single block of chocolate. And I know in the long run, I'm going to love that single block of chocolate more. Or, like, you know, sometimes you can go, you can get a bag just, like, bowls or. chocolate just like a feel? Great. But when I order that, some bit of my brain goes, yeah, but that's, it's pretty boring. That's hack. That's hack.

It's hack of just chocolate. What have you got this fucking wonka bar full of piss and cheese? And so I go, oh, well, that one's new. I have this anytime. I get that. No, I'm saying is you get like an arrow or whatever, one that you're like a

classic you low and love and... Yeah, I do love. Mint arrow? Foo. Like I'm saying like a segment of, let's say, four or five, I don't know. And, like, you could just break one off, eat that, and then that's it. Well, weirdly, you never do. I can do that at home, but here I can't. I don't know what that's about.

Literally at home, I had one of those bags of, like, the just chocolate spheres in my fridge for about, like, three weeks. And I would have just one ball sucked down. I'm like, great. I'm fucking satisfied. Here I buy one of the mint arrows. I'm going, in one go. I don't know what it is, dude.

I can't figure out the psychology of that. I reckon, do you reckon it's probably because you're using more energy, work. At home, I've slowed to a crawl. At work, he's spent it so much energy. Not listening. Again, do you know how hard it is to not listen yet still talk? Yeah, exactly.

To contribute the right amount in an episode. In a way that obviously is going to have some hurdles when people go, you're not listening, but moves the episode along enough that we get to the end of an hour. It's not easy, people. I know I make it look easy. It's a skill that you really develop. I was like, yeah, it's the virtuoso. It's 10,000 hour principle.

Right here. Damn, he makes not listening look good. No, he just makes it look easy. There's just like, just be, the risk-vis reward situation that you live. And look, I understand, and I do it too, like every now and then I'll be like, oh, a new thing, I'll try that. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. But I feel like, so we're in the studio maybe three times a week.

Yeah. I reckon two out of those three, and you're always going to the shop for, little tree. Yeah, of course. It's right there. It is right there and you've worked so hard. I reckon two out of three times a week you eat something, you go, hmm, yeah. I didn't want that or I didn't like that. Yeah, that's a crazy low strike rate. Yeah, but no, you've misunderstood.

Because the thrill of discovery is my reward. Oh, okay, looking at the counter and seeing a thing and you go, ooh, discovery. And that being like, let's try it and the thrill of the What if it's good? That is the reward. And sometimes the fact that it's bad is its own reward. Exactly. Because sometimes the thing tastes disgusting.

And then I go, wow. And then I, yeah, try and get everybody to try it. We'll always try it. Because you never tries it. And you are a coward who never tries my gross food. I'm not a... Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I do so many things that are so much braver than you'll ever dream of. Yeah, that's fine. You can be food. You can be coward. You get a food cowardice. I'm not, it's fine. Yeah.

It's just if I say, oh, hey, I got this lollipop that's like, lollipop's a bad example. I'm not, I'm not doing that. Okay. I'm not sucking on your lollipop, dude. I got this chocolate bar that's... It tastes like human shit. Because that's always how it gets pitched to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll eat it and you go yuck, and then you go, y'amma try this and then Zammu go yuck. Then you have a discussion about how bad it tastes. Yeah. Yeah. And what it tastes like... Because it's a unique badness. Sometimes it's, sometimes it chocolate bar's like dusty.

Yeah, exactly. I got how it tastes like a very particular dust? Yeah, dude. And then you're going to go, I got to try it. Yeah. You know, when it happens to me, when somebody has something so disgusting around me, I go, God damn it, I got to know what it tastes like. Because I've got a curious mind.

Well, sometimes, like, oh, that's weird. And you're like, oh, no, it's all right. Yeah. No, yeah, it's all right. It's a flavor journey. You want to try it out. Yeah, that just doesn't appeal to me. Well, that's okay.

Yeah, no judgment, dude. Whatever. Yeah. You come into me with a lot of judgment. Yeah. You know, it's all I'm saying. It's just because in this situation, and it's rare, there's a right and a rock. I respect that you're, I, look, I respect that you're out here and you're taking risks and you're trying new things.

But I don't respect that you run your mouth complaining about it all the time. Well, you go, actually, I'm a simple guy, I just want these things. And I go, you can just do that. And you go, no, no, no, no, no. I could never. Inside me, there are two wolves. One says, let's eat regular chocolate. The other says, let's eat human shit.

No, inside you have three wolves, and one of them's barely paying attention, and then once a week goes, I should eat normal food. Yeah. And the two wolves are saying, let's eat human shit. Yeah, you could say, let's eat something we haven't tried before. Why do you've got to phrase it like human shit? Because he knows. He knows he's buying human shit.

Sometimes you're not. I think quite often I'm not buying human shit. Yeah. But imagine if you were in a story of human shit-flavored chips, lays human shit flavor. I'd have to knock That's probably one I wouldn't try

That's great That's crazy Because I'm jumping in on that bag The lays company Has reduced Human shit Flavoured chip This is going to get recalled

So fast This will be our only chance To eat the human shit Yeah Yeah Well you too enjoy You're an idiot You're now you're a coward

You're a coward You crack open that bag the waft of it. It did the fuck. It did the bag of it. What? It smells like unwashed arms. Damn.

And it would have that chip MSG flavor to it too. I don't know. Like, and this is maybe a crazy thing to see in a pop culture podcast. Yes. But most things you consume, the smell and the taste pretty similar. So like if you smell something, you can kind of vibe out how it's going to taste. Human shit? Not the same for me.

I've never eaten human shit. I feel like it was a very, like, I had to do some math. And I, what? Okay. Sorry. Hey, I want to, hey, bro, bro, bro. I'm just going to say something real quick. I don't think you come on off good right now.

I just, maybe we should go on the topic. I feel like, I just don't think the last sentence you said was clever or good. I don't know, it wasn't clever or good. But I'll try again. Give it on the crack. Give it on the crack. I think that the smell of human shit and the taste of human shit. aren't going to be the same

and I think the taste of human shit would be unfathomably bad that it would kind of just like I think that if I ate the lays human shit chips it would break my brain in a way where I don't think I'd ever come back from that but I'd still need to know yeah me too

it's not like a banana smells like a banana and then when you taste it you go yeah that's banana you smell human shit you go that's human shit but then when you eat human shit I don't think my I just don't think my brain could comprehend what human shit tastes like You know what I gave Jackson.

I'm across it. But I know we've also put the image in all the listeners' head of us eating humans. Maybe, you know. Hey, you had a second crack. That's great. I feel like that I explained myself better this second time. At plumbing, bud, let us know in the comments. Hey, yeah?

You want to clip some things out there? You can. You say it. Like, I just, hey, I wouldn't have done that. Done what? Exactly. Eating human shit? I haven't.

Yeah. I have no desire to either. No, me neither. Again, kind of like eating man. Yeah. I think that it would be one and done. It's like pre-eating man. Yeah.

Post-eating man. You're a different guy. Pre-eating human shit, post-eating human shit. You eat human shit just once. You're a different person. It's true, dude. There's two portions of your life now. No judgment.

Yeah. A worst person, I would say. I think that eating human shit dirt is your soul in a way that... Yeah. We're just not usually... in day-to-day life. I think that's true, man. I think that's true.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, in my super ex-girlfriend. I hope, like, you know, because it was the most popular, I guess, film. Yeah. And, you know, it's like, oh, it's a twin anniversary. And, you know, like, maybe Ivan Reitman, their director is like, oh. Oh, yeah.

Is he? Yeah, Ivan Reitman's dead. Well, Anna Farris, let's say. She's in scary movie. Yeah. She's not going to be offended by eating human shit. No, I just said, well, you know, I know, the writer is. I know the writer's dead.

Yeah. But just, you know, it'd be like, you know, was Jason Reitman, that's the son? Yeah. And he's like, oh, you know, I was on the set of that when I was at some age or whatever. Oh, 30? Okay, so about young. Yeah.

Well, listen to this. Oh. I wonder when they'll, it's been 20 minutes. Been 20 minutes? I should talk about my father's film, rest in peace. They're not doing it. They're yelling at the dumpy one. But quiet sometime.

Yeah. It's like, one of them say. It's about. And now they're talking about eating human extra. That's where they've arrived that somehow. Ivan Reitman would love that conversation. He's fucking having a piss up. He thinks we're funny as fuck.

He wrote Ghostbusters. Yeah, exactly. Ghostblerone. No, that's Harold Ramis. Fuck, Ivan Reitman. What did he do? I don't know. Lots of stuff.

I think... Who killed the people in the Twilight Zone? A gremlin on a leg of the plane or whatever. Mia Farrow, not me of Pharaoh's dad. Vic Vic Marrow died But who killed him The rector

Was it Howard Ramos Ormond? I don't know, dude I don't know this I'm so tired Yeah It's been a long couple of days He

didn't kill those people So I have dragged his name Nice True, true True He did direct Ghostbusters though I was right there Yeah

Was it Ivan Ritman like you said in the guys Harold was like Yeah They were written and directed Like a bunch of stuff maybe Yeah probably

Harold Ramis didn't do Twilight Side No no No Who did Twilight Zone? I don't know dude Couldn't tell you It's up to you to figure out At one point

Maybe even earlier this morning I could have told you Yeah But now my brain It's gone It's on top fire You're called a coward In a way you never expected

John Landis John Landis John Landis. Father of famous sexual predator. Yes, that's right. Murder, dad. I don't think anyone called me a coward for not eating the lais. We said you were a coward.

We called you a coward for not eating anything. We flipped it back on you. We called you a coward for not eating the legs. And then you said, I don't come across well for saying that I reckon human shit smells and taste different. You mean a lot of the phrasing was. Yeah, you know what? Yeah. Yeah.

It did seem like in the runoff that I was keen to human shit. I'm not keen to eat human shit. It did sound like... I'd already eaten you shit. That's exactly what it sounded like. You were a veteran. Yeah. It did sound like you were a connoisseur.

That's all I was saying. I'd be like... I wouldn't be... But I mean, you clarified. If I had eaten human shit before, it would have come up before the final entry in my super ex-girlfriend show. We'd know if he'd eat in human shit, dude.

That's how I would have started the podcast. In a world. In a world. Hi, everyone. And welcome to this week's episode of Clubbering the next star. I'm a little boy and I ate human shit once. That's why it gave me... Go away, Mickey, you're rat.

Probably the best I used to be me, Zambard, and the ghost of a Victorian child that died from eating human shit. Yeah, I just feel in this, this, like, TikTok era where, you know, everything is like, everyone's swiping away, the intention's bad is really nothing.

I just don't know how clever it was. A small little sound about eating, you know, I could bounce back from that. I'm sure you could. I think you could do it. I think you'd bounce into it. Yeah.

Become a human shit-eating influencer. Okay, well, that's interesting, because I'd be like, hey, I have no interest in this. But you want me as the face of eating human shit? He's really up as cash-air. Because let me tell you, as a man in charge of the branding for eating human shit, we're not doing well. I think you were going to be able to turn this movement around. Just like showing you a... There's one shining light where we're...

Is it Nathan for you? Yeah. Where we made... Pooh-flavored ice cream? We thought that was going to be... You made a thing that turned out. That was going to be peak. That was going to be great.

Turns out, didn't do great for numbers. Yeah. I show you a graph and it's just a long flat line at the very bottom. It's consistent. I just see this little blip where it goes up a little bit, plumb in the death. dropped an episode exactly.

That was, you see these other little bopsies are other plummy the death star again. That's your that's why we came to you

okay. We need to raise the market value of eating human shit needle moves is when Plumbing the Death Star release a new episode.

Even if you don't talk about it. You just have what our audience is calling that vibe. Yeah. A lot of like it's weird

you go deep into some forums like oh this episode just for the show I listen to it it's the like the audio equivalent of eating

human shit. Yeah. For all of my fellow shit eaters, you listen to it. Yeah, you get the same sick satisfaction as when you eat human shit. Yeah, yeah. Wow, what a tough life that, uh, that's CEO. Yeah, CEO of eating human shit. It's tough.

Is it cool to fantasize about your ideal job title, Jackson? It's just really funny. Imagine just being like, fuck to have my quarterly report. It's the latest fly-lides, guys. You know who'd be really fucking pissed. He'd be pissed off at. You've got the CEO of eating human shit. Business has never been good,

but also never been good. Yeah, exactly. It just stayed neutral. It stayed despised. But then you're looking across and you're fucking, you're a cross-town rival, huffing farts. Oh, dude, huffing farts and drinking piss?

I'm going down for sake at the bar after work, and I go, how's business? And it's been in the past. They've been down there as well. And the guy goes, huffin farts is up. Dude. Drinking piss. this up? You've ever heard of the bubble up?

I'm like, what? What's this? What did you do? And they go, just nothing, dude. Just like, I don't know. It's just like the internet caught up. Invented, man. Fuck. God damn, what am I doing wrong? I'm going to have to get in contact with this podcast. When was the internet invented? Oh, it's been a while.

Oh, fuck, dude. I'm on the back foot. And it's like edgy and cool to hoffarts and drink piss. I wouldn't say it's edgy and cool, but like it's on the rise. God damn. I'm going to get some guy. I'm getting some influences on. this. Yeah. I'm gonna make any kind of I'm gonna try to invent the shit bubble up real. Oh, we're tanking.

I didn't know we could get lower than we were already interest, I thought zero was safe. How CEO of eating ass. What? They're the richest man in the world. It used to be a department of the eating human shit building.

Another one franchise. This is bullshit. You look at my building and it's like when the fucking Wall Street crash in the 1920s, it's just guys jump out. We thought we were consistently like it was, you know, he's not good, not bad, but... Fuck, dude.

Fuck, man. It's never been worse. Look at the, like, see you, oh, eating us. Getting ass at the moment is probably... It's, like, it's on the rise higher than... Yeah. Like, I'm honestly out of most sex, actually. Yeah, I would say it's, yeah, it's huge, dude.

It's huge, dude. It's weird. It's like, poof. Yeah. It's because it's on the rise, people just chill about it, you know? Yeah, they chill about it. about it, they figured it out, everyone's across, that it's awesome. Everyone's like, you know what?

We all got, we all got mouths in. Yeah, exactly. It feels nice to get your asshole tickled by a tongue. Let's get into it, you know? Yeah, eating human shit. The building's empty now. It's empty now. It's a crime scene now. That's all it is.

Crime scene do not cross. Yeah, it's a speed. Like, the mode's like one, like, a tiny office, an empty cubicle. Oh, damn. Like a rotary phone. just on the carpet plugged in waiting there

it'll call it'll call don't worry I put some feelers out I got some ads and magazines oh yeah big irons in that fire

yeah dude any minute later I'm rants I'm ranting the building reading the newspaper being like fucking eating ass is sticking the tongue where the shit comes

I don't understand like I'm so close but they won't sell me their technology of research even though I used to work in the same business building is these people. Like, I was one of their menthol.

Exactly. Is the difference chewing? I don't understand. I don't. I don't understand. No, I've said that out loud, yeah. And it does feel really bad. That's that, last.

Yeah, I'm good. And let me quickly check out. Oh, lower. Come on. Come on, man. It's going off the chart, man. But in the wrong direction. The lights are going off.

Okay, note to self. Don't think about chewing human shit. Damn it. God, this is not what I went to business school for. It's a rough business. And speaking of rough businesses, being a superhero and dating.

Yeah. We're getting to it. Seems tricky. Sure does. Really settling in to be like, it's not, it's an episode where we don't talk about the topic. You want to finish the sentence you started half an hour ago?

Do you remember it? It's a risk because Jackson only listens to Jackson. Yeah. Yeah. It was his own sentence. So, you know, come, well, let's go. Well, in my super ex-girlfriend, she only dates, there's no other superheroes. So she has to date a mortal man.

Yeah. Now, for us, I think it depends on the superpower. Because if I'm just, like, extra strong, say, also, we don't, gee, I mean, is you a girl immortal? We don't know that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's ages, so I doubt it. I don't think she's a mortal.

Would you be, would you be, well, I was using mortal as, like, a shorthand for a non-superpower individual. Would you as superheroes date non-superpowered people? It just feels very... Her behavior towards dating humans seems strange, but then also maybe the way that I'm thinking like this is also bad. Yeah. Because she's basically like, I can't believe this guy's done this to me and also like he's the light of my life kind of thing,

which is normal for dating. Yeah. Like, I mean, she takes it to the extreme. But when you're a superhero, that doesn't make sense to me. But then it means that if I'm thinking like that, I shouldn't date. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if I go, you're like an aunt to me.

Yeah. If you go, you're like an aunt to me. You're like doing the invincible thing. You're like a guy that I read about in the newspaper where his stocks have never been lower. You remind me of this guy. You're the CEO of eating human shit to me. I mean, you're the best out of thus being the CEO. Yeah, exactly.

But it's not a good thing to be the best out. And you're also not doing well. You'd be surprised. But I think it depends. Because if I'm like, say I'm like a goo. I'm like Johnny goo And my whole thing is I'm like a lump of man Yeah

Like just dating in general is gonna be hard You know what I mean Like it does have been the superhero Because I'm like okay And also with you know universe Like if I'm in Like a Marvel universe Yeah

Yeah And I'm say like a Spider Man Or a like a Fantastic Four Kind of character Where it's like oh It's science that like fuck me up Yeah Dating like you know

A human person I'm like okay I can get my head around that Totally But if I'm a mutant No. I'm, I'm unfortunately have become extremely racist to the flat scans where I'm homo superior. Nice. So why would I be caught dead with that? I'm joining Magneto's course.

Does that depend on the power you have? No. Or anything. Like if you're like, I can pick what I smell. I can pick what I smell. Okay. Yes. If you're like, I can pick what I smell. my power. So if I want to smell flowers,

I just... And I look like me? Yeah, yeah. I'm hiding the fact that I'm a mutant. Yeah, okay. All right, well, what about if you have a big toucan nose? Yeah. And that's how we know your... I'm a mutant. Your smell of it. Do I have wings? No, no, no, no. You just got the nose. Or maybe

instead of a head, you just have a big nose. And we call them big nose. No, yeah, clever. Thank you, man. Thank you. Yeah, I feel I'd be like, no, I'm homo superior. Yeah, yeah. I only date, you know, other other homo superior is I'm a mutant. Because you don't want to have a flat scan son? No, I don't want data flat scan.

Yeah, yeah. They're dirty, too. I think now that I've thought about it, it's a more, and I don't see if my fellow man is lower than me. Yeah. I think it's realistically, I mean, like, everyone's better at different things. Yeah. Yeah. I would probably...

I'm better at smelling. The gross humans are better at being gross human. If I'm G-girl-boy, have the same powers. Oh, yeah. If I'm G-girl-boy, I'm just treating it like I'm a regular-old. regular guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's just like, okay, yeah, I can fly.

Who's the shit? Yeah, we can, I'll eat you out in space. Is that what you want? Was that good, huh? Oh, you're dead. You've got survived in space. I forgot about that. That's a whoopsie daisy.

Whoopsy daisy. Sorry, I should have said in the sky. It's so funny to be like, I'm going to eat you out of suck you off in space. But obviously, you can't breathe in space. So we'll have your head in the atmosphere. And I'll be on the other end. but they just get disintegrated. Fuck.

Oh, okay. I'll figure this out. I'll figure this out. It's a problem I'm working for. Yeah, exactly. I'm just working through this. Although, I will say, I mean, you can do it with any genital, but, uh... Okay, I like that.

That's a good, that's a good start to a sentence. Good opener. Big fan. Like, that one, you should say again. That's good. It's egalitarian, dude. I love that one. That was good for me.

Good for listener. I like it, much better than the previous stuff. This big fan. This is what I like. I've taken feedback on board. I started saying less controversial, more titillating. Oh, actually, you could do this with any general. Yes.

Like, with the famous scene from my super ex-girlfriend, the one that everyone's always talking about, the sex scene in the sky. True. That doesn't really work. But eating someone out, which you could do with any genital, but in my head, a pussy is the easiest one. do this. Yeah, yeah.

If they sit on your shoulders and you're just flying, standing up, because then it's safe, you're holding. Yeah. Also works at eating ass. Funny, it's good. Yes, dude. Oh, that's good. That's awesome.

Shirk you one because their leg... In the first episode where we're talking about this sex scene, we're talking about getting held by the scruff of the neck and jerked off, getting held by the scruff of the neck and your ass eating, it's crazy. How long's your arm? It's real long I guess I got a hot It's real fucking lunged

That's like fucking eating cherries Crapes like an emperor Teabagging yourself Okay Dugging like a tea bag Oh Cool to get the dug Oh dude

Good stuff Holding your partner above your head Opening your mouth and literally dunking their balls It's tea Yeah That's really cool Really cool stuff I think

I think because there's that weird thing as G-boy girl. Yeah. And you are dating people without powers. Even though if, like, you really want to try and not feel like, well, I'm better than them. Because, again, you're like, but at least like, okay, I'm not better than them. I just happen to luck out and, you know, touch that rock. Yeah.

But I have been blessed with, and I can show these people a world or I can do things and we can experience some stuff that they would never see. And so if you're like a giver or someone like that, or you're like, oh, I like doing these kind of, like, you know, acts of... Acts of service. Yeah. Heroic deeds. Like, you know, you have, hey, you've gotten your ass aired by someone in the sky?

Yeah. No, actually. No, I have liked anything on earth. I've always wanted to, so that's exciting. Wow. You ever been held like a bowling ball? I jerk you off? Wow.

Wow. So, yeah, you, apart from all the sex stuff, you could be like, well, let's, hey, let's, hey, let's, what country would you like to go to? Yeah, I can, you know. Or a planet, apparently. I mean, like, they still are. Um, need to breathe. Let's go. Oh, no.

Okay, it's a puzzle. I'll hold my hand over your mouth and nose. This is a puzzle to figure out. Yeah. But you can go to other. Yeah, space is a nod. I get this. Hey, feel, Jack?

Space is a note. And I think you're not getting that one. The bottom of the ocean also not good. Yeah. Yeah. Like, dude, can you seeing this turn over and they're just floating away? Oh. Shark comes grabs them.

God damn. I think I'm getting it. I'll tell on the shark, Aed him. Yeah, I mean, there's another thing if you've got the G-girl boy's powers. Now, the movie does a terrible job of this, and I guess it's for comedic effect, but they pick the sex positions

that are the worst possible ones to have. If the person with the super... The person with the superpower should not be the one in control of the motion. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We see G-girl literally. fuck a bed through a wall. No, not G-girl. She's not the one who fucks the bed

through a wall. Anna Farras. H-girl, presumably, because he's H-Garnell. That makes sense. Yeah. So, yeah, like, if I'm having sex with someone and I've got the G-girl boy powers, yeah, they're on top. And I go, this is safe and

I'm not going to touch you because I don't want to pop you either. It's funny to imagine, like, a one-night stand, you know, you just hook up, and they rack your bed. And in the moment, you're like, oh, my fucking God, that crazy. And then they leave and you go back into your apartment and your bed's destroyed and it's a hole in the wall and you go, actually, fucking,

God damn. Actually, this fucking sucks. Bands aren't cheap. I'm not going to get a new bed and I'm going to catch up the wall. Like, fuck it hell. This is, this was not worth it. And like, did they just do a little bit of plaster damage? That's easy to fix. But if it's through the wall, that seems like a lot of effort they need to repair this.

Funny you get your bed, fix the wall fixed. They come back again and you go, hey, let's do it in the cash was pretty expensive. What about the countertops? No, the countertops marble. Shadow my arms. Whoa. Granted up the anus.

Granted up the anus. I just don't know if my back should go through a granite. Let's go to a hotel. Yeah. Actually, bings. Can we make love in the forest? Yeah, yeah. Dating or in the sky.

Not too high up, Jackson. Oh, I just integrated in another head. Yeah, now that I think... Now that I think about it, though, if you're... super if you have the Superman move set. Yeah, that's right, move set. Sex becomes real scary, except for Calgo,

gross Calgo, or Yeah, if you're stationary, and they have to be stationary. And they have to kind of do all the work. Yeah, sorry. You have to be like, I'm not being lazy. I just don't want to kill you. Yeah. The Amazon position, it's all right? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. Mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation, safe. Safe, safe move.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I mean, you also, like, if you're a good enough superhero, you learn control. Like, Superman can punch a mortal man. Yeah, Spider-Man pulls his punches, too. Exactly, so you just have to learn to pull your punches in a sexual manner. Yeah. You know, which, you know, you could do.

But there's also if you have the Superman power set. Because there are some that are, like, more... So I just got a really bad image in my head. But it's just doggy style, but thrusting so hard that you shoot their skeleton out of their body. Whoa. At their mouth. This is a puzzle. I need to really...

I call you guys up, I go, hey guys, I think I'm really bad at data. I just fucked to someone's skeleton out of that. You know last time? Yeah, you know,

the shark? Yeah, that was about, yeah. Yeah, so I figured like I wouldn't go, you know, up or down.

Uh-huh. What's out this time? So! You know, you're aware of the position known as doggy style. Like dogs? Yeah, I am.

Dogs and ham. love and when they fuck. And skeletons, you know that? Maybe they live inside a human being. Did you thrust too hard and it popped out the skeleton out of their mouth? Yeah. I just don't think I'm cut out for dating.

Yeah. It's funny. You were going to, no. No, keep trying. Keep trying. The right girls are out there for you. I just think maybe. Any one of these women could have been the right girl.

Yeah. What if we tabled doggy style? Okay. Until we can figure something out. I would also table missionary. same thing could happen. I might need to be strapped down. Yeah.

We might need to find my kryptonite and I'll just put some in my cheek. Just get some like, yeah, kryptonite rope and just sign up, you know, to tie you to the bed. Yeah, I figured that might be the best. I think for this. Yeah, I think you need to be. Oh, I think it'd be hard to get a bone away, you're getting kryptonite. Yeah, that's fair.

He's got to get the word, kryptonite makes you horny. Yes. But then also that makes you weak, because otherwise that's really bad. I also don't know how good I'd be keeping my secret identity. Oh, I know. It's awful. I'd be fine with it in general sense because I would like, I'd be like, like, I'd be like, people, people just know me as the guy that's always going somewhere. I'm just a man about town.

But if you're dating someone, way harder. I thought that was your superhero name for a bit, the guy who's going somewhere. Like, long title, but hey. Oh, my God, it's the guy who's going somewhere. I guess he's quick. If you were Like yeah The moment

If I ever got superpowers I'd be like Boys guess what I'm the guy who goes Oh nice I thought that was doucheous name But I can't No he's the guy who's going somewhere

You're the guy who goes somewhere Yeah Yeah Unrelated We both just had We both touched the same rock At the same time And then we both went home

And thought of our names Yeah I think We were brainstorming together We both at the same time It was like a little bit different But it's kind of the same Okay interesting

Do you think the rock did that to you? No. No, we had this discussion before them. We touched the rock months ago. Damn, it would suck to be not super-powered of YouTube. Yeah. That would suck me. Oh, yeah.

Like, dating, whatever. Big, like, friend, like, the only, like, non-powered friend in, like, a group. You're like, yeah. I can go through any wall at any time. Yeah. Anywhere. Anywhere. You can't even go through a window without getting hurt.

Yeah. I think, and what's bad for me is that, like, normally in this situation... You didn't even get the same powers? No, we did. Okay. I can fly. Do you ever get you? Do you know where the rock is or?

Yeah, it exploded. Was it a meteor? Yeah. Radiation, brother. Doesn't even go track the meteors that are coming. No, the meteor exploded. Yeah, there might be more. I mean, maybe, is it maybe, but like, has happened before.

Hang on, I'll go look for you. I just go up. Yeah, you take, like, yeah, you take the, Like northern Hammers' Feldek the southern. Yeah, okay. Ready, go. Go. Nothing.

No, there's nothing there. This sucks. Yeah, dude. What have you been doing to do? No, much. I just went to space. What? You're mugging me?

Is it working? Yes. Obviously. And I'm also not clever enough because, like, in my super ex-girlfriend, this happens to Professor Bedlam. Yeah. But he goes, well, I'll become a rich super scientist. I'm not clever or smart. I'm not doing that

Fuck God damn it Hey it's fine People are good at different things Zaman and Dusier are going to flying around And I'm good at buying food that I don't like Yeah I'm good at buying fruit

Picking up a malon and doing They're like Trum-Turum-Tur-Dram and yeah let's see Zaman and Dutjer do this I don't mean this in a rude way But I don't think you're good at buying fruit You seem like a

guy that looks at a thing of bananas, goes, sure, grabs it and comes home, like, oh, that one was a, that's extremely, like that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, yeah, these apples are good. Ah, they're bad, they're all soft. Like, what is a, is a special. You're not, you're not checking strawberries for mold.

I'm certainly not exceptional of buying fruit. I would say you're not good. Possible, sure. You can telepart the fruits, I reckon. Are you ever inspecting fruit? Yeah, I am. I'm inspecting potatoes quite often because they get weird. That feels like you change the topic, though.

What's another fruit you like sauce out? What fruits am I buying? Yeah, okay. So, well, then you're bad at buying fruit. Apples, I guess, yeah, I'm inspecting apples for bruises and stuff. Melons, I expect more vegetables, I guess. I was going to say, like, how you, like, with like an avocado, you expect them? Yeah, I'll give them a little squish.

A little bit. You know, feeling them. Tomatoes? Tomatoes. I don't buy many tomatoes. Pumpkin, I'm inspecting, like a butternut squash. Yeah. Because you can kind of tell if a buttonnut squash is, anyway.

All right. So maybe you're right in spoke. Okay. If I can get you guys to admit that I'm okay. I think you're, all right. I think you're good at inspecting vegetables. Okay. I think you're good expecting vegetables.

Fruit, though. Yeah. Doesn't buy fruit by the sounds of things. Zavent do your eyes stopping, you know, nuclear warheads from going off. And you're buying spinach. And I'm pretty sure this is fresh. And then you're getting pissed off because they still don't, they haven't taken your leak situation into consideration. Yeah, exactly.

Why, they always sell me a whole bunch of spring onion. I don't need this really spring onions. I just need one. And you, I'm complaining about that. And you're like, Jackson, we, we, like, protected Earth from an alien invasion. And then also, we ate dinner in France. Yeah. And they cook way better than you, though. Yeah.

They calm down meals. I've invited you for dinner. They cook way better than you. This is shit. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Sit in a guy. Oh, nice dinner.

Yeah. We look at each other and telepathically communicate. We've got to eat dinner in France. Yeah. Anyway, we'll be back in a second. Okay. We should both need to go to the toilet. Bang, bang.

And then we're back. And we go, oh, God. I'm so full. We're wearing berets. Oh, man. What a delicious meal you've cooked for us. That was so good. The way you've made this, like, incredible steak.

Yeah. You just look around. I mean. I've made a soup and some croutons. The soup was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We actually haven't eaten any of the soup yet. Just pull the soup in.

Don't worry about that. Just pull the soup into my bowl. And then I just use my laser ice to evaporate. Mm, delicious. Just do it, yeah Doing it real slow The bowl gets too hot, crack it off and the soup goes everywhere

Delicious I eat through my eyes Do we get to tell you that did we? I think I've seen you guys No No No You're mad

Yeah, it's through the lasers Oh Is that drunk Looking at like the spilled soup We didn't even eat it then Didn't even spill a drop It's so yummy So yummy

Soking into my tablecloth and carpet I mean Do you want dessert? Yeah, I would love just say, you just go get that. Italy, Italy, Italy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're just going to go to the toilet. I think I was just going to go get the dish.

I made a fom, fom, fom, fom, fom, come back. To a separate hole in the roof. Just come back, holding, like, an hot ice cream that we got from it. Huh? Well, I made pavlovo. I was going to say, it's really good, man. Well, I didn't make this. You did.

It's great. He's incredible. I don't know why I'm still friends with you guys, really. Touching that rock and becoming the man who goes for. places. And the man who's going places. Yeah. Yeah. Really uh, yeah. We went to

went places. Yeah. Changed you. Yeah. Anyway. Or did it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have a thing. Yeah. Yeah. What if you were, yeah. And you should remember, if you were in our shoes. Oh, I'd be much worse. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway,

while we were on our travels, we got this brand new flavor of lays for you. Oh, no. You know, you love. You love, you much. You love, you love. trying. We love trying to do things. Go on. This is from France. Yeah.

La bag of human ships. In this scenario, this feels like you've used your superpowers to synthesize human chips. To prank me. It's not a prank. It's what you wanted. Exactly. Go on. It's new.

Exciting. I haven't even eaten my soup yet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Crisps are an entree. You can finally find out your dream of human shit smells and tastes different. Yeah, you could crunch them all up on your...

Crunch this up on your shitty soup and eat this. It'll be delicious for you. Soup's pretty good. I love being G-man, girl. The man who's going place is. It's truly the best superhero. Yeah. And they go, wow, man, a bunch of missiles hit New York City.

Where would? I'm bullying them. Trying to get that front-to-eat human-flamed chips. You understand. The government goes, fair enough. Fair enough. And did he eat them? Yeah.

We had to force him, but he ate them. We just kept saying, but you love you. Yeah, we said we had to, he ate a little persuading. He ate the human shit. He definitely, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I guess dating when you're a superhero, it's tricky to not immediately become homeland of. Yeah. But that's kind of a problem of superpowers in general. I feel like, yeah, if your superpower isn't immortal. Yeah. I think, yeah, it's probably like, all right, yeah, you could easily date. Yeah, easily, but you're just like, it becomes scary and you're just going to be really careful with boundaries.

But I think it is really easy to not see yourself as different from human beings. Yes, absolutely. I don't think a superpower would make me lose my humanity. No, despite the extended rift. But, yeah, that's got nothing to do with hell, you know. That's a bit of fun amongst friends. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

They're normal otherwise. It's just me they talk. And it was to a man who did say that he'd be worse if he would... Oh, I'd be infinitely worse. Yeah, of course. I imagine to be one of those superheroes, kind of like a Dr. Manhattan kind of situation where you just stop walking, abandon any type of, like, you know, just abandon anything. Yeah, no clothes.

Just kind of just like floating around and kind of like hunched over in a ball. Yeah. Zapping people. Yeah. Just... electrocuting human being I think if I had that Mr. Manhattan

kind of like you know that kind of like where you get to like you're just floating not wearing I'd do it but I'm doing it upside down so my dick could be flopping Yeah And I like that you go yourself

Mr. Manhattan No doctorate No I didn't I didn't get my doctor I'm the fucking plumber that got lost Yeah went in the wrong room

Exactly but like I'm hovering above I'm not looking to look Yeah I'm not talking to someone They have to like you know If they're just looking straight they're looking at my dick. Oh, that's good. They've got to kind of bend down.

They got to look down at my eyes. Down here, I say. I wasn't even a qualified plumber. I was just doing plumbing for a hobby. I was just like touching wrenches and pipes. I just unscrew the pipes. And then the water goes everywhere I go. They jump out on me.

I did it. And then I send a bill. On to the next one. But unfortunately this time I got struck by a ray and now I missed a Manhattan. Yep. Mr. Manhattan. Floating upside down. These are my balls.

I can independently move them, watch this. Power is bad. You shouldn't get them. That's the lesson of today's episode. And maybe it's the lesson of my super ex-girlfriend as well. Yeah, I think so, dude. It's an incredible movie. Jason Raitman, if you're listening to One of Your Dead Father, let us know. How do we go with this trilogy?

Do you agree with everything we said? Do you disagree with everything we said? Yeah. Let us know. Let us know in the comments, that plumbing pot. And on that note, I've been Jill. I've been Jackson and I've also been Joel

Remember if you want to support Plumbing the Death Star years sons of bitches You can go to Sansmith Radio.com sign up for the Bad Brain Boys Which is our subscription service You get a bunch of bonus episodes of Plum the Death Star

It's sexy as hell Oh it's the sexiest It's the sexy podcast You only get sexy behind the paywall You can also sign up on Apple podcast If you're listening through Apple You'll see the bonus episodes you're not getting and to get them

What you can do is press a little button It was easy as fuck Easy as hell. Easy as hell. So please do it. It helps support to show. And like, you know, do that with any genital. If you get any genital.

Yeah, it works for any genital. It just does work for any genital. Yeah. And that's important. Yeah. Wow. Podcasting. You really sometimes record 15 episodes or whatever in two days and you go,

God, look at my empire of awesome ideas. It's good to talk into a microphone and put that conversation on the internet forever. I think so. I think people are going to go, you know, look back at this and go, Those were good ones. Yeah. I mean, either way, it's too late they're recorded. Yeah.

Enjoy!