Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Dress the X-Men?

Episode Date: July 25, 2021

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SANS Pants Radio, Australia's most American podcast network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like how would you dress the X-Men? Now I know you boys probably have not kept up to date with anything the X-Men have been doing as of recently. That's fair enough. I get it. I think the last time I checked in with the X-Men was when I went and saw X-Men Apocalypse at the cinema.

Okay, okay. What have they been up to since then? So X-Men have gotten real, mutants really, have gotten real weird recently. So boy, some of the details, the fact that they have their own Island now. Sure. Thank you. Uh, so they recently had something.

What's the name of the Island? Uh, it's a, why? Okay. Um, that's the only thing I'm into. Krakoa. Yeah. It's a living Island. Yeah.

Yeah. This is our new access. I was like, I just want to know the name of the Island. This is this curiosity will get you killed. And this is the same island that was given to Magneto. Why? What are you doing? No, that was Genosha. You an idiot?

Genosha, okay, cool. Okay, that's fine. Krakoa is a living island. Krakoa was the one, like the island that in between. That's all right. This part isn't me. I've got the answers that I wanted. It's not the same island that Magneto was given by the government.

That was Genosha. But it is the same island. I think similar from when the original X-Men first got captured and when they had to send the all new all different X-Men in there. Well, it sends like two teams in there. Oh, no. Yes. Yeah.

That makes sense. Me and Dusha know what you're talking about. Please carry on. Me and Dusha. Good jokes from Dushiro. We know what you're saying. Please keep talking. Please move on. The original X-Men that got captured.

Was that the original team as in like Iceman and stuff like that? Great final question. It wasn't the X-Men that Professor X had beforehand that went missing, presumed dead. That was in between. Oh, no. So, yes, yes, yes. In a way, yeah. Because, like, that was the team that was in between.

This sidebar with Jackson. How is it that when... I know that we have probably fallen for this before with Jill Zammett, is when you ask him questions about stuff like this, somehow the answer is unsatisfying but crazy at the same time. What I didn't like was when you asked a question and he answered yes twice and then sort of.

You can't do that. Well, what you're saying is correct. There was that sneaky missing team of X-Men, but that happened in between the original X-Men and the all-new all-different X-Men. So the all-new, all-different the original X-Men happened, and they went to Krakoa, but Cyclops escaped. And then he came back and he was like, Xavier,

shit went fucked! And he's like, yeah, right. Let's send this new team. One of them is your brother. He's great. Let's go there. We'll go back again. But then that one went bad. They all died. So bad, in fact, that Scott came back and was like, Professor, I just watched my brother. But my brother, I didn't know I had died.

And Xavier's like, well, let's just mind wipe everyone of that. Hit them with the boob boobs. Send Wolverine and that and Xavier's like, well, let's just mind wipe everyone of that. Hit them with the boob boobs. Hit them with the boob boobs, baby. Let's send Wolverine and that into that. Okay, you got an X-Men. This is unrelated and not a question. Thank goodness. All right, I'm engaged.

You got a dangerous mission. Yeah. Why would your first move send the guy that can't die, surely? What, Wolverine? Yeah. But he wasn't on the team then. Roused about. He was fighting Hulk or whatever.

He's a wise guy. Don't say him. Cutting Hulk in half. Oh, no, Hulk broke Wolverine. Well, not that point. He was fighting the Wendigo. Anyway, so the Hellfire Gala. Yes, great.

Fabulous. Did Wolverine still have a nose at this point? No, he didn't. Sorry, yes, he did have a nose. He lost his nose. Thank goodness. Anyway, he's got his man in. But anywho, the Hellfire Gala has happened, and this is where X-Men are like, He didn't. I'm sorry. Yes, he did. Oh, thank God. Anyway. He's got his man in. Anywho.

Hellfire Gala has happened, and this is where X-Men are like, look, things are great. Come heroes. Let's all have a big fancy ball. We're going to make some announcements. You don't need to know what they are. And they're all dressed real cooked. They've all got some amazing new outfits,

but these are fancy outfits just for the gala. Some are dressed better than others, I will say. Cyclops has really leaned into kind of big blocky designs as a see-through ab thing. A lot of X-Men, or mutants, have decided to incorporate the letter X into their costumes. That's their one to do. A lot of mutants have also decided to show off their rippling abs,

which I'm a big fan of. Well, on that note, can I offer my- I'm Vin Charles. So, and in June, the Hellfire Gala, they did announce- Shut up, Jackson. It's not done yet. They did announce the new roster, the new team of X-Men. So they were at a gala and they were like,

hey, while we're all here, I'd just like to introduce our new roster. These are your new X-Men. This they were at a gala and they were like, hey, while we're all here, I'd just like to introduce our new roster. These are your new X-Men. This is Cyclops. Well, everyone votes, sort of. Aren't the Hellfire... Aren't the Hellfire Gala bad? Well, no, because all the mutants have come together

in Krakoa, so it's less about X-Men and, say, the Hellfire Club or the Brotherhood. It's all just about mutants and they're all in Krakoa. They're all on the Living Island. Let me guess. Living Island's also a mutant? Yeah, it's Krakoa, the Living Island. It's a mutant.

Yeah, I thought so. He was a guy. Yeah. Well, I don't think it was a guy. I think it was a mutant. I think it was an island. An island mutant. Yeah.

So the X-Gene or whatever the fuck it's called. You kill me with your questions. You don't understand. How is an island a mutant? It doesn't bother me. You don't understand. How is an island a mutant? It doesn't bother me. I don't want to know. Somehow, if it was a guy, that would be fine with me. I just want to talk about dressing the X-Men.

There's also another island called Oroka, if you want to know about that. I do not care. You're the guy in Alien that pokes the X. I was going to hear, like, don't put your fucking head in them. You're like, no, but I'm curious. Yeah, but what's in there? Yeah, a face hug. It's the douchomorph.

Fabulous. They've recently announced their brand new lineup of X-Men. They're going to be like the protectors of the mutant nation. I'm at this gala. I'm like, I live on this island. I do not care. Anyway. Oh, so you've invited me here to show off that I'm not on your fucking team.

Being born with fucking goo hands was bad enough. Can't pick shit up. They invite me here to gloat and you all got all your abs in. Well, if no one's gloating, the thing is that everyone has like, it's a democracy and everyone mind links and everyone kind of puts forward to be why they should be in X-Men and everyone hears it. I vote for you.

Goo hands. And everyone kind of like, is like, okay, this is really sweet and they give to be why they should be an X-Men and everyone hears it. I vote for you. Good answer. And everyone kind of like is like, okay, this is really sweet. And they give their reasons why they want to be X-Men. Everyone hears that. And then it's like a big kind of thing. And everyone, it's real. Great. So you got Polaris.

Can I drink at this? Of course you can. I'm going to drink so much. You got a lot of multiple man as the waiters. It's cool. So what's going to happen is when they mind link or whatever the fuck they're doing, my mind is just going to be like, because I am shit-faced.

I'm outside throwing rocks. You've got goof feet. So goof feet over there. So you've got Polaris, who is the daughter of Magneto, a lot of magnet powers. You've got Sunfire, who is a boy on fire. You've got Cyclops, you all know Cyclops. You've got Wolverine, but this is the Laura Kinney version of Wolverine.

Sure. As in the lady. X-23. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got Jean Grey. You've got Rogue. Okay. And then you've got Cinch, who is...

Everything's easy. Yeah. Sorry, Cinch. It's a ship, Cinch. So he sinks up with other people's powers uh-huh and so he kind of is like he mimics their powers and those are the the new current yes i mispronounced fuck mimic guys i hate that power shut up what's your power it's everyone else's power be original anyway come copy my goo hands oh now you can't pick up shit

now you're drinking through a straw off the table like me. The common man. So that's the new team of X-Men. And they're all dressed fucked. Currently, right now, they're all dressed very, very fucked. But again, it's for a go. Is it time? How would we dress the X-Men?

Nude. Yeah, there we go. Why? Because what's scarier than a bunch of nude people rushing at you to beat the shit out of you or whatever what is the benefit of that to put the fear into our enemies okay so if someone's running at you with a knife uh-huh scared somebody's running at me with a knife naked terrified but are you yes? Yes. I'm shocked. I'm probably less scared and more like this guy. It's like a flashbang.

You know what I mean? You're like, what's going on? And then you're stabbed. I don't know if I would be scared or more terrified. Here's what's happening. Wolverine's running at me. Mood is the day she was born. I'm like, and then she stabs me.

I don't have a chance to even react because I'm so shocked by how naked everyone is. I think that the nakedness will just make me immediately think they're more unhinged than usual. Well, that's good. That's scary. But they're not. See? It's a psychological tactic. But if they run at me in a costume that's fucked like the one

they're wearing in a gala, it's probably going to do the same job. I'm like, why are they wearing that? Really? So somebody coming out you wearing a crazy suit, and somebody coming out you nude, you're equally afraid. Someone naked running at me with a knife versus someone wearing the orange suit from Dumb and Dumber running at me with a knife, yeah.

Similar levels of scared, probably the same. Also, again, a lot of the, it's not about running to impale you, a lot of them will be like diplomacy, kind of meeting with people, kind of like negotiating situations, talking to other heroes. Yeah, the X-Men aren't meant to just scare. Actually, yeah. They're not really scare tactics.

Batman, that's who you want to dress if you're going for speed. Cow, cape, nude. That's a Batman. Boots. Oh, that's terrifying. And belt. Yeah, cape, nude. That's a Batman. Boots. Oh, that's terrifying. And belt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All he needs is utility belt.

Oh, yeah. Well, you can't dress someone for diplomacy, so I'm dressing for fear. Okay. What does fear achieve? How is that? What do you mean you can't dress them from diplomacy? Well, that's just a suit.

Who cares? I mean, I guess. Oh, how fun. We dress them in a suit. Well, not as much as a suit because, again, they do their hair nice. Good comedy. They're trying to make their own nation.

So they're trying to have their own cultures and all those kind of things. Step one, you want your own culture? Don't live on a living island. Yeah, that's absurd. Why not? Because everywhere else they go, they get bombed. Live on the moon. Get out of my side. That's what they should say. That's what they're doing. They're trying to colonize.

Anyway, there's a point. You don't want these questions. I stood on that landmine. Yeah. So naked. Naked on the moon. Maybe black socks. Like business socks.

No, I feel like your suit with the hair done nice is a good starting point for diplomacy. But you can have fun with it, Jack please talk me through it because you gotta think about like in terms of what the x-men have done before they've had their they've got their like their their yellow and their uh sort of blue outfits that you sort of see when they could their original x-men were there you got the black leather x-men then you got the black leather x-men then you got the individual x-men when they were all kind of like in their own kind of outfits. You have the X-Factor X-Men when the original five decided to kind of wear

more block colours, but again, they're keeping those like big X's. So the fact that there's no X in my outfit. Tattooed X's on their chest. To be honest, it feels like they're missing an X somewhere. Then they can tattoo X's on their chest and faces. The diplomacy. X's and faces. Sorry, chest and faces.

Double X. Double X. On the belly as well, triple X. And then you're like, is that why they're nude? But you're stabbed by that point. So again, that's kind of fucking with the branding because it's not Professor XXX. Professor XXX Xavier.

Okay, then just one X on there. Is Professor Xavier still on the team? I mean, he's like one of the heads of the Quiet Council. Okay, that's fine. One of the heads. So that means they shouldn't be called the X-Men anymore. Although X-Men since are extraordinary or something, right? It's the X-Gene.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is named after Charles, though, right? Well, he discovered it. He discovered it. So then we'll put the X on their faces. I don't want to worry about diplomacy. Okay. Evidently. Well, I have the X-Men faces. I don't want to worry about diplomacy. Evidently.

Well, I have the X, man. We're going to attack people. Using them as a private army? Yeah. Who are you attacking first? Magneto? He's also a member of the Quiet Council. Who's bad?

Toad. No, Toad is on. All mutants are welcome on Krakoa. Fuck. Fucking. Who are you fighting? Who's a bad guy? Orcus. Orcus. This guy. Fuck fucking Orcus. Who's the bad guy? Orcus. Orcus. This guy. Who's Orcus? I don't know.

They're a human organization that have made up of mostly AIM and other kind of shield, sword. So you're fighting sword. You're fighting humanity with your mutants. I don't want to be doing that. Oh, there's a plant-based Nanas. Just fight Fantastic Four.

Yeah, we fight the Fantastic Four. Can I interview in plant-based Nanas? So Nanas who are like horticulture and they- Oh yeah, they brought back man thing or some shit. Nanas as in like grandma? Yeah. Nans. Okay, they're bad guys.

It doesn't matter who they are. So you're going to use fear to strike- You're going to use fear to- I'm going to use nudity to strike fear in the hearts of my enemies. Grass nannies. Yeah, sure. Because apparently no one else is a bad guy anymore. So that's what we're doing.

Yeah. Well, no, no, no. Humanity is the bad. You just refused to see if the villain was there. That was quite a long list. Aim, sword, shield. That's a lot of guys. I don't want a lot of guys.

I don't want to attack those guys. They're just humans trying to get by. Protect the world from your nude expert. Yeah. Mostly like sentinels, like machines. Well, we can fight sentinels. That's fine. Yeah. They're part of the same thing.

Plus they wouldn't be frightened of nudity. Correct. Orcas are the ones trying to. Fine. Orcas then. Terrible name, by the way. But yes, fine. It's an acronym. I'm sure it is. Yeah, fair enough. Oh, really cool, somebody. Anyway, yes.

That's Orcs. Yeah, so we'll use the nude X-Men to fight Orcus. Okay, is it for Orcus, who I've just found out are aimed sword and shield? So military people who have probably seen it all. Yeah. Nude or not nude. If somebody's coming at me nude, I think they're not afraid of me because they're fragile.

I think that if you have a big gun and you know that you are trained for things like this. But they're X-Men. Someone coming at you nude. I wouldn't even assume they're X-Men. I would probably just be like, well, this is easy. I guess you probably couldn't tell. Well, he'd still have to have the visor.

I'd see the visor on Cyclops and be like, those are the X-Men. Don't know why they're nude. And then it's too late. I'm dead. So you're relying on the fact that if you remove their clothing, that everyone's going to have

that one extra thought that's going to cost them their life. It gives them a brief moment of instability where they can't handle the nude X-Men. And then they're dead. That's the plan. Oh, sorry. So there's a law that the Quiet Council is leading the X-Men. So you can't kill humans.

What the fuck? Then the plant nannies. I hate comic books. The plant nannies. So they're probably not going to be fierce. They kill Venom then. Why not? Venom, an alien that will not even register the fact that you're nude.

What about like- Again, because again, they're trying to be like- They want to be recognized as a nation and you- I understand you want to go directly against that. But even if you, I just want you to see no humans are allowed to die. Well, and I abstain. They're not dressed to kill, I don't care. If they're not killing people, I don't know how to dress these people.

I've washed my hands of this. I think. So Jackson's idea is he's pulled down the thing, like a board that just says a nude, fear, murder. Yeah. All new, all different experts. The quiet council there. But I don't.

What? See, we're here trying to build a bridge. Quiet council? Yeah, the quiet council. I would be. Okay, Jackson, look, I'm going to step in here as your council? Yeah, the quiet council. I would be, okay, Jackson, look, I'm going to step in here as your enforcer. Hey, quiet council, how about you? You're doing a lot of fucking talking

for people that are meant to shut the fuck up. Yeah! All nude, all different. All nude, all violent. X-Men. It's better this way. Yeah. Any disagreements?

No, you can't hear shit. I can't hear shit. Your mute has no ears. It's better this way Yeah Any disagreements? No You can't hear shit I can't hear shit Your mute has no ears I got goo for ears Well how are you dressing them? How are you dressing them? Okay so

I think that Jackson is On the money No On to a loser Because I Don't think that putting them all in matching outfits, nude or otherwise, matters or anyone cares.

If anything, it just kind of makes them seem more threatening, especially if you are wanting to not do that. Yeah. So simply just let them dress themselves in regular clothes. I don't reckon they could. Branding, not important. I don't reckon the x-men have dressed themselves in such a long time that they'll know what like what looks good okay well

i'll drink yeah i like i think i'm jack's onto something no i'm not disagreeing i just think that they're going to come out with like cyclops is going to come out with parachute pants and a tank top like if you look at like um what what cyclops is was wearing for the gala it was fucked it made me sick yeah so it seems that he does not know what because like how long for the gala. It was fucked. It made me sick. Yeah. It seems that he does not know what- Because how long have the X-Men been wearing uniforms for? Pretty much since, I guess, puberty. That's insane.

They don't know what looks good. They don't know how to wear clothes. Oh, they wear casual clothes on campus. They do wear some casual clothes, yes. Yeah. Because Cyclops has those fucked red sunglasses. Yeah, those fucked red sunglasses and usually a brown jacket. And a motorbike.

But somehow the only uncool person to ride a motorbike. God, those films do him dirty. Comics have also done him dirty because he quit the X. The only comic book that I remember reading about Cyclops is he has a tantrum and quits the X-Men. Which time? Yeah, exactly. After Days of Future Past. Exactly. Or, exactly. After Days of Future Past.

Exactly. Or, no, before Days of Future Past. Or the one where he loses to Storm when Storm is depowered and he's like, I'm having a tanky. You're making me remember the issue that leads into Days of Future Past

because Days of Future Past doesn't really feature Cyclops because he has a tantrum and leaves because Professor X tricked him about something. Professor X fakes his own death. Cyclops has a tantrum, quits the X-Men about something. Professor X fakes his own death. Cyclops has a tantrum, quits the X-Men because he can't be trusted. What a coward. Anyway, tantrum king.

So you're saying you just let them wear whatever they want. I'll be like, so I pulled down my thing. It says no uniform, no rules, no Xs. And then I'm like tapping that one the most. So what do you imagine? How does that help with diplomacy? Which is apparently what the X-Men are doing. They can just wear a suit and have nice hair.

Oh, great. Yeah. Not funny, but gets the job done. They march in and everyone's like, oh, they don't look fucked this time. That would be good because currently the X-Men by dressing like X-Men. Look fucked. They make themselves seem like a paramilitary organization. And the best way to make humans not like you...

Wait, no. The best way to make humans like you is to not dress like fucking nerds. Yeah, or clown. Yeah. Psycho clown nerds. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, I'm not taking people seriously. If they walk in dressed like Cyclops with that fucking X cut out in his stomach. Absolutely not. I'm making fun of him. I'm going to the bar. I'm like, do you see fuckhead red eyes over there?

What is shirt? Shirt? Dick head. I'm already drunk. What is, what is dick? Dick shirt or whatever. Why is he having a big,

big dick cut out on his abs or whatever? It's red. Give me a straw. I got goo for hands. It's so funny to just break it down. Stupid shirt. I got goo for hands. I got all shit.

I got all shit. He's got a red visor. He's everything. He sees through ruby or whatever. I got goo for hands. Goo for hands. Goo for hands. Goo for hands. Oh, no.

Everyone's like, hey, think about why you should be an expert. I got goo for hands. What am I going to do? Goo for hands. It's a living hell. Can't even pick up this, got to use straws. Everyone yells at me now and asks for a straw. You're escorted out of the gala.

I'm back onto stage or I'm continuing my presentation about my outfit. So I'll be like, are you sick of not being taken seriously because every time you enter public, you look like a fuck head. What about the, and I don't know of any of the mutants in this new X-Men. That sounds like you had a question for Zamet.

No. Let's see if I can do it as a statement. I don't know about the current run of X-Men, but is where you're at. None of the mutants, some of the mutants. I don't know about the current run of X-Men, but none of the mutants, some of the mutants.

Might have. None of the mutants, some of the mutants might have none of the mutants, some of the mutants might have things on their body or to do with their powers or to do with the powers that you can't hide with a suit. None of the X-Men, some of the X-Men might have things on their body that might

something, I can't remember what you said. Anyway, so that you couldn't hide is I guess what I'm saying. Cyclops, he has to have a visor he has to have that yeah wear sunglasses uh and everyone else though you can pretty much like high just make him look like you know just regular put fucking gloves on rogue that's fine it's not that weird to see someone in like a jacket and gloves yeah it is it is funny though that the x-men certainly in the gala outfits they're like going quite high fashion they have gone high fashion because they're, like, going quite high fashion. They have gone high fashion because they've got, like,

one of the mutants on there. His name was Jumbo something. And he's, like, a fashion designer. So he's designed quite a lot of their... You didn't think this was going to... I didn't even think it was going to... It didn't look like a landmine. Yeah, it didn't.

But it did. Oh, finally, safe ground. So, like, yeah, he has designed quite a lot of the outfits. And yes, it is a fancy outfit for a fancy ball. I pulled out a second slide. Fire Jumbo or whatever. Are you in the X-Men? No.

Is his name Jumbo Carnation? Maybe I like this guy. Are you in the X-Men? No. Then stay out of it. He is there to make outfits. I've got that metal poking stick. Because, again, this is a gala.

This isn't like a – I'm hitting the board. I'm like, fire him. Fire him. It's a fancy gala. Wear a fucking suit. A lot of them are wearing a suit, but, again, it's their very first gala and they want to express the fact that they are mutants,

they have powers, and they want to dress like in clothes that exacerbate their mutant-ness. Jeans, t-shirt, hat. There you go, shoes. Dress like Captain America in Winter Soldier when he's pretending he's in disguise. Yeah, that would calm me. As a human being, as a volatile human being

who hates mutants, if the mutants were just like an average person, I would be calm. And obviously for a gala, that's not right. But then I pulled down another thing. It just says dress like a normal gala. If this is a high fashion gala, then whatever. Why are you putting your own human ideals onto us mutants?

And we are trying to make our own culture and our own identity. Are you wearing human clothes? What do you mean this is me? Shut up. I'm also a mutant. Do you not see my goofy head? We've all come from different areas of the globe. Dress!

So what is kind of like- Individual is my point. If anything, I'm- Why are you yelling this at me? I'm on that side. We are dressing individually, and you're saying dress normal. I'm saying- We're saying let's make a new normal because we are homo superior.

If it was up to me, you wouldn't exist. You're being ex- No, I'm sick of the matching outfits. You want to be integrated in society. Why are you just clumping together as the X-Men? Yeah, I agree with that. Well, the X-Men aren't part i agree with that well the x-men aren't part of this like they're there i i guess they're not quite sure what they are just yet i

assume they are i've stopped listening i pulled down on this i'm not so many more than me i'm not saying you have to dress like me i'm just saying don't dress fucked it's it is superhero branding is so bad yeah we don't need it if you're telling mehero branding is so baffling. Yeah. We don't need it. If you're telling me that some of the mutants' culture is that they obsessively must wear an X, I'm, one, not believing you, and, two, being like... So basically the new X-Men or the X-Men that are on this Krakow.

I understand that they come from all over the world. Look, again, they're all from all over the world. It's not just like this is every day on Krakow you can wear whatever you want. But this is our superhero on Krakow you can wear what you ever wanted but this is our this is our superhero team that we put forward to kind of like

maybe do good kind of like the Avengers kind of like all those kind of teams so this is a a superhero team that are going out in the world

that are doing are they fighting crime or are they being diplomatic um fighting crime and doing missions where they are not

trying to kill. Yeah, but they do intend to use their powers upon each other. Yes. Say yes. Yeah. So in that case, you want to go on something comfortable. Sweatshirt, sweatpants. That's definitely it.

Pulling down another slide. Outfits make no sense. Paint target on self. Yeah, that's true. Unless you're going for the Robin tactic But then you need a Batman You know Yeah

Yeah So Which they're not They're just a bunch of Robins Wear what you want Dress for battle Not for Impressing

Everyone So should we go through like say Like a military route Then having like camos And those kind of things No Just pants And a shirt

So what kind of pants Jeans Whatever you want Whatever That's the thing You want to rock up in tracksuit No one's judging you Just pants and a shirt. So what kind of pants? Jeans, khakis? Whatever you want. That's the thing. You want to rock up in tracksuit? No one's judging you for how you're dressed, except for now because you're dressed like a fuckhead team.

Is that their outfit for when they're out doing whatever vague nebulous thing they intend to do out there? Cyclops having like a latex hood thing so that his wires can touch it. Fucked. Looks like an egg. Just wear sunglasses. Now the problem there is though, he can drop the sunglasses. So you need the visor. Just duct tape them to your head idiot. Or alter, don't listen to him.

Okay, wear the visor. But don't like... Okay, we all look like Cyclops. He's got a visor on. Okay, what else? Whatever he wants. Whatever he's comfortable in. If a T-shirt is good, then that. He's like, I'm good with T-shirts, boots, and some jeans. Great.

Done. Perfect. That's all you need. See, you'll notice the trend here of like, whatever suits their powers and they're comfortable in, two thumbs up. That'll do you. No X's? Yeah.

You don't need an X. An X is never going to benefit you. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. Make me sick. What if I go back towards that sort of black leather X-Men? Do what you like.

Black leather, not durable, sure. Not very breathable. Stinky. Stinky X-Men. And if you're running around, it's going to be bad. But if you're on a motorbike and you fall off, then yeah, pretty good. What if we get a bunch of, say, Spider-Man outfits? Oh, yeah.

Great. Why are you leaning back into looking the same again? Well, we've got a whole bunch of them lying around. Why do they have so many Spider-Man outfits? He tried out for the X-Men once. What, have they made a bunch of outfits for him? He bought them with him, we don't know.

Well then, yeah, if you want. If you want to wear them. If you want to besmirch Spider-Man's name. Besmirch Spider-Man's name. That was as you're writing a second slide. Well, like the Avengers, they dress all like, you know, sort of individualistic. Yeah. They sort of. But they all have costumes.

They maybe look if you want to base yourself off someone, maybe the X-Men. Maybe not the X-Men because you guys dress fucked. Maybe the Avengers is something you could look into because they have like, they have had matching uniforms for, I guess, like publicity, which you guys will need because that's part of your mission statement. But they're more of like a casual,

less. Okay. So we want, we want this team to be like the, like the public face of mutants and kind of a friendly, you know, face forward,

put their best face forward basically. And so, yes, we want to have the individualistic, but we kind of want like a theme throughout. Why? To show them that, you know, we are unified. Yeah. Why don't you just do that in- People know about the X-Men.

But these are like, you know, this is a team. These are our heroes. Yeah. So we want to kind of have like a- Maybe a badge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A name badge. A name badge. Cyclopsops also get rid of your

your names you don't need their own names they're like names that we've given ourselves it's like our mutant names well i think that's silly well i mean like iron man should just be tony stark right yeah yeah that's like that's like that's tony like he's a human those kind of things because we're born mutants it's a different different thing. Quite a lot. And so these are mutant names. Frankly, I despise it. It is interesting because some mutants aren't giving themselves their name. No, but it's kind of like a badge of honor kind of thing.

I pulled out another thing. I don't care about your name. It's a cultural thing. That's chill, man. Don't wear fucked clothes. I love it. You are! We're trying not to wear fucked clothes. I love it. You are. We're trying not to wear fucked clothes. We're coming to you, Joel and Jackson.

We've had nude and casual wear, which seems a bit, I don't know. We're not on a team. I also think nude is fucked. Okay, I see this team as split. We would never retain. We've had one of those before. That sucks, dude. I'm just one over on the team.

We're assisting each other with two separate pitches. Yeah, happening at the same time. To be honest, nude is better than what you're currently wearing. This is, again, it's a fancy ball gala. No one's saying this. We're dressing. Oh, my God. You're not even listening.

I feel like that you were sitting in the front row quiet council, first of all, yammering, going, here's your name, too, wanting to pick holes in our very good ideas. You're saying casual wear, but, like, yeah, I could have gone to anybody and said, like, what? Casual wear. Yes. Well, you came to us.

You came to us. That's not on us. Well, who did you go to that said whatever you're wearing now is a good idea? I told you that was a bad move. Jumbo carnation. Yeah, don't listen to Jumbo. Jumbo does not have your best interest at heart.

Did you pay for these? Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm starting to see why. Yeah, okay, yeah, wear this fucking $1,200 jacket into a fight. Oh, no, it got a hole in it. You'll have to buy another one. You know what's cheap? T-shirts from Kmart.

Yeah. Jeans from Kmart as well. Dressed by Kmart. But, like, if... For something, do you reckon Kmart would be interested in a sponsorship? You'd become the K-men. The K stands for

Kmart. I don't know what the K in Kmart stands for. Kitch? Yeah, I don't know either. What does it stand for? Why is there a K in Kmart? Why is there a K? Is it Mr. Kmart? What does the K... There are plus a K out there. And the K-men? Is does the K-Mart? There are Professor K out there. And the K-Man?

Is that what's happening? I don't know either, but I'm excited. I feel like it's one of those things that is not easy to find out. I think it's named after the founder. Okay. John K. Sebastian Spurig Kreskig. Okay.

The Kreskig man. Kreskig. Beautiful. Beautiful. Wonderful. Yeah, yeah, man. Kraskig. Beautiful. Beautiful. Wonderful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then. Well, okay.

So, I like the idea of casual stuff, but, again, as, you know, we are trying to establish ourselves as a new nation. We're a very young nation, and we want to kind of have things that are culturally us. That's what makes us sort of different from everyone else, and we want to kind of have that identity, because, you know, we've had to spend so long in hiding and hiding who we are we want to kind of have that, we don't want to hide anymore because this is who we are so we were thinking of incorporating

some of the living say where we come from, Krakoa a lot of that onto our suit so it can be something quite simple I've pushed over my slides, I'm like fine, if this is what you want then my simple explanation is, my simple solution is everyone dress individually.

Stop dressing like a team. That is so intense. Especially if you're trying to like... If you are your nation's military, you can dress in a team. We're basically the nation's military. Why are you sending the military to like... On diplomatic

missions. Because that seems like a threat. You have bigger problems than how you dress. Yeah, there's more stuff to figure out there. I don't know if they're sending them on diplomatic missions. I'm not quite sure. Well, then, Jackson. Well, then, hey, hello. I was just really trying to avoid the nudity thing.

Ha, ha, ha, ha! I burst back in. What is that I heard? I burst back in. What is that I heard? I was outside listening in. An aural peeping Tom, if you will. A hearing dog.

I noticed you said you don't send the military for diplomatic missions. Well, do I have the outfit for you? You're unscrunching your cape and folding it out. Let's look at the X-Men if they were a military. Fabulous. A lot of the military isn't necessarily about invading a country but protecting your own. It still works. You're going to invade Krakow or whatever.

You land. Nudes for as far as the eye can see. You turn a bad face and get out of there because you're like, I don't know what I've walked into, goodbye. I feel like that, like, especially as part of a living island, if nude people emerge from just anywhere,

you'd be like, oh, they are, like, literally part of the island. Yeah, I don't know what I'm seeing. I gotta go. How living is the island? Pretty much, it provides literally everything. Does it talk? It does.

It is a guy, right? It's a hundred percent going to communicate telepathically. No. What? Big mouth? It communicates with Cypher, who is a mutant who can understand language. Oh, okay.

Nevermind. He's a guy who could, no, I don't know. What's the mutant that could turn tvs on and x2 or whatever i'm not sure actually he's the coolest mutant turn the tv channel changer his name's channel he's got the same powers as a remote that's cool that is not a remote that never has to like change a battery exactly only useful in front of a tv but still do you reckon it extends to like an xbox no just a television just a pre-hd tv you can switch between channel 7 channel 9 and channel 10 doesn't get any other channel

no seven mate that's funny because that's anyway yeah so so again a lot of like what they are doing there where they are identifying as like uh members of the nation of krakowa and a lot of this stuff now comes down to like a lot of like a i guess plant material they're sort of like a kind of bonded with the plants because they're there they have like gateways they can travel through each other which is sort of uh uh they initially they plant them and then the gateway comes up um they're selling a lot of like makes me sick and it's interesting to me because i don't understand why if you like all this stuff why you dress like the way you do because it doesn't match that either we're looking to change then right dress like the way you just described live your best life

what are we thinking like a lot about a lot of branches like like a costume that kind of is like living the kind of like yeah i think that's good yeah i think dress like plant men. Dress like fucking lunatics. Maybe change your name to P-Men. In fact, if you could somehow make your uniforms make you look more aggressive. Like, what about like big Groots? Yeah. Yeah. Groot's a guy in this universe.

Dressed like, dressed by Groot. I mean, you know, like here I have been this whole time. G-men. Groot-men. G-men. Well, the whole time I've been trying to, you know, help these mutants out here. But maybe I should help just lean into their lunatic idea.

Yeah, right? Just lean in. Yeah, do whatever you like. Spandex, a lot of pockets, and mostly wood. Reflective. All your clothing needs to be reflective and flashy. People will trust you more that way. People will fear you less if you give them epileptic fits.

Okay? Yeah, I think that humanity will respond really well to that. And loud sirens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo! I think that's what it should sound like when you come for a diplomatic mission and I got two words also

genital windows yeah yeah yeah we do like showing off our abs that's great nipple windows, genital windows and maybe an anus window yeah yeah yeah that is kind of between your cheeks so that we can properly see the anus

and humans love it if that's the first thing we get to say, and if you show our most aggressive military leaders, specifically that, that would be my advice to the X-Men. Also make sure you give your coordinates to Krakowa immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah. That'll calm us down. If we know exactly where you are, that will calm us. I will feel at least you are that will calm us i will feel at least calm so jackson's bombing krakow trying to drown the living but i look it's just like the x-men throughout history pre-krakow or otherwise have always dressed in a way that i just don't think suits what they're trying to do and i get that like similar to the fantastic four how they're

dressing to be a team or whatever but like it doesn't really work for the x-men and a lot of the time most of their missions would be hindered by how they're dressed oh yeah look i agree i think like sweats and a t-shirt yeah yeah yeah because honestly like that's kind of what you need a lot of them like probably could go just barefoot because again like they don't have powers that allow them to touch the ground yeah you can just fly yeah like They can just fly. It's like, whatever. You're not going to get calloused feet. Yeah. Just float around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Live your best life. I'm leaning towards nude because also, I don't know if you know this or not, but the X-Men just can't die anymore. If they do die, they get resurrected. So who gives a shit? Fucking whatever. I hate comic books.

That would have been an interesting thing to mention at the nude statement. You can't die. You can't die you can't die no no be no don't even use your powers all nude all violent x-men resurrected like they hatch out of these little gold eggs and yeah they're just nude new does it they they were born they were dead because like you know not mutants anymore no no if they're born out of eggs. There's some fucking new thing that I want to think less about somehow.

Homo superior again. Homo egg. I reckon they lead into that. Be the homo egg. And then maybe they have big egg outfits. Sure. I think that's great. Turn up on the steps of the U.N.

Hey, we're homo egg. What up? First it was homo sapiens. Then we were homo superior. Now we're homo egg. We're homo egg. The third step. Third step in human evolution, homo egg.

Because we come from eggs. We come from eggs now, you see. Because when we die, we get resurrected by the five. And one of them is named like Gold Balls or whatever. That's pretty good. So if I'm a human in this situation, I'm like, yeah, I'm also in theory born from an egg. So is a chicken.

Yeah, but you're not born from a big egg. So who's from an egg? Who lays the egg? Well, Gold Balls. Does he lay it? Well, no, he can create a big egg. Not really an egg, then, is it? Well, it's shaped can create a big egg. Not really an egg then, is it? Well, it's shaped like an egg.

It's similar to, I guess, like a- Like a sack. Ivy, a test tube baby. It's a homo sack, I guess. Homo sack. Homo sack. If you want. Is that why you're nude?

The sack thing? No, that's another thing. So he makes this big ball thing, and then, like, I think it's Tempest, when the control time, she, like, speeds up. So it's literally you growing an egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Xavier puts the mind that he backed up on this big machine. Different soul or different person.

Maybe. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. I like to think not. When all of this stuff is happening with the X-Men, who cares what you wear? Yeah. Yeah, I agree, Jackson.

For once in my life, I agree. Who cares what they wear? It doesn't jackson for once in my life i agree who cares what they wear it doesn't matter all nude all violent you're gonna die and then come back as an egg person it's all over for us anyway yeah i am the walrus dude i am the egg man um yeah fuck the x-men now yeah they they won clearly you know yeah but it was sort of like you want to be recognized as like a thing yeah like don't stress too much about it you'll outlive us all yeah they're trying to be nice they'd really they're just being like but then if you're trying to be nice stop sending your military just send whoever be nice just send a guy just send one person who's

not a super or you know if i if you're a diplomatic mission. Don't send a guy whose powers is laserized. That's a threat. Send old goo hands over here. I can't hold documents, but I also can. I can't hold a gun. I'm no threat. If I punch you, you just get wet. So what are we dressing goo man up?

In his pants and shirt. Because he can't dress himself. Well, we dress him in a suit. We do his hair. He looks nice. Yeah, I look nice. You do look nice. I got goo hands.

You could do your hair nice with the goo yeah it's gel yeah is it green in your mind it's green yeah it's green it's pretty much purple okay you know you know the villain from shiva i think her name is the villain from powerpuff girl no uh kim possible no she's got green glowing things from her hands but yeah yeah i don't imagine fingers I just imagine it So did I You know those little figurine things you had as a kid And had little sticky things for hands and feet

And you chucked them at a wall Except it's cold and wet and not sticky I imagine it was a bit sticky Well not sticky enough to stick to a wall Not sticky enough to be useful. Or dangerous. I could imagine you sticking to a wall, but you can't climb that wall. No, no.

Not like a Spider-Man. See, I imagine it's also like the goo. Like if I have like a drink in front of me and I put the goo. Or just like anything solid in front of me. It just goes through me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not thick enough. I was imagining like if you throw it onto a wall, you'd be like.

It's crazy that we landed on nude. I was right. It makes the most sense. Well, it only makes sense in the sense that everything that involved the X-Men at the moment makes no sense. So in that situation, maybe the madman is actually the cleverest man in the room, Jackson. Oh, my God.

This is the only time that will be true. Yeah, maybe like an X, like a modesty X around nipples. No Xs. I've unscratched my piece of paperwork. This rule stays. Just naked. Here's to those who dream. And on that note, I've been Joel.

I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. Meant to say here's to the dreamers, which also obviously doesn't make sense. No, no, no. Here's to those who dream. Here's to those who dream. It's to those who dream. Hey, dickhead.

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