Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Handle Having a Clone?

Episode Date: March 8, 2026

Your boys have woken up in a lab, or possibly seen a guy who looks EXACTLY like them or simply walked into the Clones R Us store and are now having to figure out the conundrum everyone faces when dealing with a clone: which one of us is the butler? Zammit puts a lot on the line with a flip of a coin, JD revolutionises vets and Jackson's biggest problem is both Other Jackson and Himself. Having a clone? No big deal. Remembering the plot of the 6th Day? Now that's hard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up gamers and fans of podcasts in general. Are you a gamer and a fan of a podcast and maybe in Sydney in April? That was my practice one. I'm good to go. It was really good. I don't think you need to practice anymore. What's up gamers and fans of other podcasts that aren't necessarily video game-based. Did you know that Thumbcrams is heading to Sydney in April?

That's right. Thumbcrams and Friends present Sydney April on April 16 at 7.30 p.m. At where? What? The factory theater. I don't know. Why are you looking at us? We don't know.

You tell me where we're performing. We're performing it in the factory floor, which is one of the rooms in the wonderful factory theater. And when? I don't know that either. I said just before. Well, Remind, he wasn't listening. listening, I don't know what's going on, I'm very scared. And it's on April 16, Thursday, April 16, at 7.30 p.m.

Respectable time for a weeknight. Yeah. And thumb cramps obviously is hosted by me and Jackson. But you might have heard when I said thumb cramps and friends present things in April. And you're probably sitting there being like, who they're friends. I'd love to buy a ticket to this podcast, but I need to know who their friends are. Great news. It's Joel Zamette.

Hello, I'm right here. You probably heard my voice from before when I said, what? I don't know what's going on? You can expect some of that. but you can also expect that from Andrew Levens. He's not in this studio currently. We can't throw to him. Yeah, but he'll be there.

Steph Panacassio. Also not in this studio. But you can imagine what you might say. Chloe Appleby. Same thing. Bet she'd have a good joke right about now. Ruby Inners. I bet she'd say something mean to me.

Those are the friends, but whose thumb cramps? Well, it's Joel Dusha. Hey! It's me. Back to why. Whoa. And Jackson Bailey. I'm in Zammett Bailey

And Zammett Bailey This starts going really well Anyway Tickets are available now There is only like 30 or so left We booked a room that we thought Was gonna be too big

And now it's looking like it could sell out You can get tickets through the Thumb Crams Instagram bio Or any of the show descriptions Of a Thumb Crams episode Listen released in the last And the show notes of this episode too Whatever it is

Look down I guess Grab your phone and be like Look down but not too down because that's how you'll find the floor. This is Thumbcrams' first time doing a show outside of Melbourne and technically London. Yeah. So don't forget to come. And I'll see you there, gamers.

Don't you dare forget to come to our show. Don't you forget to come. It's such a funny call-out. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joe. Plumbing the Dastro, it's a comedy pop culture podcast

that asks the important questions like, how would you handle having a clone? Yeah, you, the listener. Yeah, have a think. Pause? Yeah. Pause? Okay.

Write us a letter. There's a PO box in the show notes. They've already paused it. Fuck. Un paused. They can't hear. Fuck. Oh, man.

I'll go get. get him. Thanks. Hey! Come back. Unpored! It's me! Your podcast! What are you listening to?

I'm out the front! Come on, open the door! Unpause! We're trying to talk to you! Well, hopefully they've unpaused. Hey, welcome back. Thanks for listening. Sorry I came to your house.

Yeah. I won't tell you. Hope it wasn't night time. Yeah, dude. If you were in a car listening, I was just running really far. Theater of the mind. Did you say finger of the mind? I'm fingering your mind.

Joel Dush, your mind finger. That'd be a really good name if you were like a dirty street magician. I'd see that show in Vegas. Yeah, I know. You see it on like the corner of industry. We gotta go to mind finger. Dude, he fingers your mind. Are you not going?

I would hope. Anyway. I think it would work on me too. Yeah. You're telling me we're in Vegas, Boy's trip. Yeah. And we see on the side...

The death star, AGM. Yeah. You see on the side of the bus, Joel Dusha, mind's finger up. I go, That motherfucker stole my name. Hey! Hey!

He stole my name and my bit. Fuck, dude. He stole my name and my love for fingering. Yeah. You're telling me he wouldn't go, well, let's... We gotta go. Well, yeah.

If I saw Joel Duscher presents anything, I would go see it. Yeah. Because with a lawyer, maybe. Can you, I mean, can I sue a man for having my name? No. Oh, but.

I'm the only one at the moment. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. It is true. I know it's true. You ever seen another, you ever met another fucking Joel doucheer in your life? Have you met another doucheer that I'm not related to?

Well, no, but I've not met everyone in the world. I've Googled it. I looked it up. He's done the reason. I've done the recent. I'm sure. But he's fucked up. I know, but I'm sure that. the history of man.

In the history of man, maybe there's been another Joel Dusha. When I Google Joel Duscher, it's just me. Yeah. I'd no one saying anything good. Yeah. Well, if I was seeing anyone, it was like, yeah, whoever the name was, yeah, mine finger. Yeah. I don't know if I would go down.

Carl Dungus Mind Fingerer. I think it's the mind fingerer. Yeah. I think it was, if the show was called Mind Finger, I'd go there. No, minefinger is fine for a name. Yeah. As a show, I'd be like, I'm curious. Mindfingerer, I'm, I, that's too.

Oh, so it's the aura. Yeah, it's the auror. Interesting. To me, that it went from being like perverse enough for me to go see to too perverse that I don't want to see. But I don't like, if it's Caldongus mind finger, what does that mean? I don't know. That's why now I'm curious. Mind fingering though, I go, oh, he's going to finger my mind.

Well, it depends what the, like, images as well. If it's the kind of, so from Deadpool and Wolverine, the Cassandra Nova thing, Whereas like the fingers are coming through the head. And like, I'm imagining, like, Carl Dingus is bald. And the person that he's doing the mind fingering to is either also bald or also Carl Mingus. If it's two guys that look identical or one of them just got their hand and the other one's head. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to go see that show. Now I was imagining. Which brings me to the two people. Clones. Clones. Clones. Clones. Clones. Clones. Clones. Clones. Hey, I haven't done anything.

I'm so sorry. I know we just transitioned perfectly into the other topic. Yeah, transition back, baby. Yeah. I'm back. Well, there's free family trees and stuff. Yeah. I haven't done anything notable enough for my name to be on my own family tree. Not a, so there's a...

You found a Doucher family tree? Yeah, for the first time ever I found out how I got to Australia. That's pretty crazy. How'd you do it? Through a guy called Rudolph, I think. Oh, like the reindeer. Yeah. So Rudolph, Dusher came to Australia.

When? It was like 1840. Okay. I was just checking because if it would have been 1940. No, I know that. I was just checking. My family didn't come directly from Germany. Okay, good.

Welcome to know. We were really, we were like, I think something bad's going to happen here. I'm getting in early. Coming to Australia. But yeah, there's just like random guys there. You should track them down. Dusha family reunion. Jacob Dusha?

Who's that? Jacob Dush. Is he contemporary? Like, is he alive today? I did not pay any attention to the day. Was that Rudolph's grandkids? I was scanning for Joel. Yeah, that's me.

Fair enough. Yeah, fucked up you're not on that tree. Yeah. That's crazy. Do you see what, do you know your line? No one I know was on that tree. So it wasn't even my tree? It makes sense.

They're from Victoria. That's where I'm from. It could be your tree. Probably is. Probably is my tree. Yeah, yeah. It's probably the douche family tree. Probably like my great, great, great, great, great, granddad or whatever.

That's pretty cool. That's cool that, because that was a. around when one of my ancestors, whatever his name is, Gustav Kramborg, was in Australia, they could have hung out. Gustav and Rudolph. Imagine the banter between those two. Gustav and Rudolph, getting into trouble.

Australia sucks. It's fucking hot, dude. Fuck, my brain hurts. We had a family tree that someone has sort of done. I think the earliest ancestor was like, I think, was it named, like, something like Giovanni? Oh, hell yeah. But they were all like, well, they just like,

Malton. They stayed in Malta. The longest time. The longest time. That's awesome. They were like, wait, wait, wait. Hold out. Hold out. People leave in Nashville? No. No, no, no.

Stay the course. Stay the course. And then, like, you know, oh, what? We got bum the shit out of them? Fucking goddamn. Now we leave. Do you know when the first Zarmid came to Australia? Oh, well, why is my dad's parents.

Oh, damn. Recent. That's crazy. And they already had, like, two kids at the time. So, yeah. I was like, yeah, fairly recent. So, like, I'm, yeah, I think my dad was the first one that was born in Australia. Yeah, that's crazy.

First generation. Yeah, so, kind of crazy. Damn. Okay, so. Yes. Because, in the past, we've discussed the idea of having a clone. Yeah. You know, but I don't think we've ever really gotten to the core of, like, if you could handle it emotionally.

Yeah. And I guess it depends on, like, how you've been cloned. If I wake up in a lab and there's another Jackson growing in a tank, that to me is more concerning than if I meet another Jackson in my day-to-day life. And he's identical to me. And he goes, yeah, I'm your clone. So there's ways I'm thinking, like, which way you want to go down. Because it's either, like, say, the multiplicity, like, way where we actually go to someone and be like, can you clone me? Or there's maybe the sort of like the X-bin bullshit.

Mr. Sinosa kind of thing where, you know, he's secretly obsessed with my family tree. and will clone me and try to make offspring with, like, say, my wife's clone or he just keeps cloning everybody, you know? Send it back to multiple. Yes. So, yeah, is it someone who's cloning you unbeknownst to you? Or are you yourself going out and getting a clone? It is funny. Waking up in a lab is scary, though, because I get the difference, because you run into someone and they're like, I'm your clone.

You're like, sweet, I'm original Jackson. Yeah, exactly. All of a sudden, your memory's just blank, and then you wake up in a lab and you go, fuck, there I am again. You're like, who's the original me? Exactly. You check down, see if you got a belly button. Even if you do, you go. You got an asshole where the belly button's meant to go.

Oh, I am the clone. I'm straightforward. I have to lay on the toilet real bad. Got to lay like Superman. Like Superman, but like wall to wall. That's awesome. There's actually It's got a hug

You kind of You gotta like Flop over The flop over You're not gonna fart out of your stomach That's really good stuff I think Basically like a yeah

Coloss me bag Yeah yeah Yeah that's true It's actually chill Yeah I guess yeah I guess you just get a bag Yeah

You wouldn't just be You wouldn't just be Stomach first I think what I'd be thinking about is my asshole my old belly button Now is that what they've done to me You monsters?

To still be cheeked up, but have no hole? I think that's cool, dude. All cheeks, no hole. What? Dude, you love a hole. To what purpose? No, shut up, I'm thinking. Yeah.

Two cheeks, no hole. What would it smell like in there? Like armpit. That's crazy, man. Imagine spreading cheeks and getting B-O. You're not ready for that. I mean, it wouldn't, because there's also like, I mean, I get his hair, but no, yeah, I guess.

Because I probably wouldn't, because I don't think there's, because the armpit has more glands than presumably an empty ass hole. How's the friction happen? It's like, does that play a part? Also, it's smell more like the crook of your elbow? I don't know. You really got much to. Yeah, the crook of your elbow. No, I know what it is.

But I don't think of them being like, damn, that smell, that's, that's, that's, the crook of your elbow. That's so elbow. Well, yeah. Although that's the smell, apparently, you meant to smell that's how you smelled other people, something like that. I know. Bad? Now, I need to know.

I want to preface this. Mm-hmm. That is something that a certain person in this room has told me. And the fact that he went, oh, what? And did it either means that he is either lied to me all those years ago. Yeah. Or is forgotten. He just makes awesome stuff up.

Yeah, he really does. He'll read something in a book that's close to what he says to you. Yeah. But he'll just think about it for a bit. Oh, that's almost awesome. I'm at my own spin. Hey, look, hey, who amongst us? Exactly.

It's an exciting way to live. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, look, hey, you're going to ask. It's an exciting way to live. Left behind. Now or later. No, later.

Once the hole's going. What's the long? Yeah. Like, has it, like, dug in the smell? It's not doing all the work. Yeah. Isn't it? No.

Okay. There's other bits and bobs down there. Yeah, that is true. That is true. That is true. I think it's all sweating. But I would imagine the hole's doing the lion's shit. Look, the hole is not innocent.

No one's saying that. But it's not 100% hole. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, remember that thing you told Joel Zaman about how, like, smelling your elbow or whatever? Yeah. Because then everyone has a sand. I don't remember.

But yeah, it's the same thing. Like, every part of the body smells like something. That is true. Yeah. And a hole is ours. Yeah. It'll have a scent. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah. I mean, I guess, like, again, with people who have a permanent colospy. Yeah, yeah, true. I mean, either the hole is there, but it's unused. It's doing nothing. And so you could, I guess. Yeah, but, like, I don't think they don't, like, they don't remove the assholes. They don't remove the, but they don't attack.

It's not longer, like, attached to anything. Yeah, that's so I guess if you know, if you wanted to... A hole just for fucking. That's true. Pretty cool to think about. Yeah. To have such a, just like a hole that doesn't have a bodily function, that's crazy. Yeah, that is true.

All of the holes we have are doing something. Yeah, like the design of the human body is usually that everything's doing something. That's efficient, you know? Well, that's evolution. Yeah, but no, but I mean, if we go, we'll make an asshole in its shits and farts, you can also fuck it. Here's an extra little feature. I think that's called an unintended consequence. Well, it's great.

Yeah. I'm a fan. Hey, who am I? Well, what about this? They go, you piss out your penis. And they go, where's the cum going to come out of? And they go, well, we got the penis all. Let's use that.

It's not pissing all for time. Yeah, exactly. That'll do us. Fair enough. Yeah, it's just an efficient use of the human body. That's all I'm saying. And what if what you fed babies? we'd made some people really horny.

Yes, dude. That's just an efficient use. What if we make, you know, Tiddy look like? What? Yeah. Small it. Smart. We go, well done.

Well done. My eighth brain is like, and yeah, off the races. Exactly. Anyway. Clones. Okay, what you go. Let's explore the option where you go to a cloning place.

Okay. Now, I guess to do that, you need a reason to go to a cloning place. Is it the sixth? the day where Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to bring his dog back from the dead, but they clone him or something? I believe He says something to do with him getting cloned, but there's really funny. It's been a while since I've seen that movie.

His dog's dead. Hey, man, this hulking Austrian guy came in, did he want him or the dog? Hey, yeah, hey, I couldn't remember so I wasn't listening. I wasn't listening. So I'm going to do both. I need to clothe my dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just give us a pint of blood or whatever. We'll do it, dude.

Just attach yourself to that tap over there. Just knock yourself out. You need my blood for a dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up, man. Just let me make your blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to go to lunch, dude.

I'm going to go to the juice spa. I'm hungry as far. I'm really hungry, so I'm going to get breakfast. I'm going to go eat some juice. So I got to go get my juice on. I was just going to make it really thick so it's like a food. Yeah. It's like a paste that I can chew.

That's how I like my juice. But I still want to blend it. I would never eat an apple. Oh, that's disgusting. Never, dude. That's disgusting. I hate the idea of eating either, the taste of either of disgusting. But together as a pace, that's where I want.

I'm eating past. I'm eating past. I'm eating past. If I found out Jackson, you were going through a paste era, I would not be shocked. We don't eat many pasts. Yeah, but the way you eat is like you want everything to be your paste. Yeah, it does that appealing to you. Yeah.

Oh, wait, no, hates thick shakes, though. Yeah, does hate thick shakes. Which is a paste. It's like a wet paste because it can be like runny. Like it'll start like heating up Is that what you don't like about it? No, no, no, a thick shake he doesn't like Because it's too thick to drink fast

Yeah He can't do his usual trick with it Yeah, it's too thick a thick Jackson's trick which is eat like a dock So I guess you wouldn't like a pace then Because the pace would be by a large You'd fucking hate a paste You want to juice life

Yeah, I figured with like the like a thick Yeah, it's too thick I thought maybe because it melts a bit No, it's just too thick It takes too long Yeah, yeah, pace You're never going to do your paste, doesn't take a long time to eat.

Thickshake is a paste. No, it's not. So wait, does it need to be a little bit thicker than a thick shake? No, it needs to be a paste. Yeah, which is thicker than a thick shake. Dude, a fucking pesto's a paste. Yeah, pasta's delicious. Pesto's thicker than a milkshake.

Maybe you spread it on some toast, you eat the toast. Yeah, but it's a different operation. That's not, you sucking down paste. That's you using a paste as a spread. Yeah. Well, how do you imagine I'm eating paste? Out of a tube. Yeah, like a paste.

Like toothpaste. Oh, out of a tube. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. What is your paste error looking like? His paste era is... Are you basically using spreads? You basically being like peanut butter?

That's my paste era. I'm in my fucking paste era. I'm having peanut butter on toast. I'm fucking crazy. I'm fucking fucked up in here. Vegeting? Oh, what a pain. In fact, all these are paste.

I put mayonnaise on some bread. Paste era. So I would argue mayonnaise not a paste, whereas I could argue that peanut butter is a paste. Yeah. I don't know why. Too thin, maybe. Yeah, because, like, mayonnaise is like a salt. Because I feel like a paste is thicker than a sauce, and mayonnaise is basically a sauce.

Yeah. Mayonnaise kind of has a consistency of a dip, really. Yeah. No one doesn't. Like a thin dip. Like a thin dip. Pesto has a consistency of a dip, but we just establish that's a paste. What about, like, um...

I'm going to throw something at me. No, again, it depends on the pesto. Like onion dip. Like onion dips. A dip and that's get basically the same consistency as mayo. Tertiki? Tertiki? Yeah, okay.

All right. All right. All right. It's also really easy to imagine you drinking dip. Also like, yeah, garlic aoli, that's just basically mayonnaise. Yeah, exactly. Also, mayonnaise is also a dip sometimes. Also, like the fucking...

Just dipper chippie in the mayo? Oh, done. Mayanate, like the AOLI rebrand? Yeah, I just like... Yeah. It's like, nice to do it. If it's not garlic, it's just like, okay, so it's just plain AOLI. Yeah.

That reminds me awfully like a different condiment that is maybe less appeal. Yeah, less popular now, but... Mayonase maybe, perhaps. You've made it fancy. Aoli, yeah. AOLI. How do you make aoli?

It's like what? Like eggs and oil and shit. And then you do like an immersion... And what's the difference between that a mayo? What do you do with mayo to make... Look, I don't know, but I'm assuming it's either something to do with a ratios. Yeah, okay. I don't get, but I don't know.

Or it's literally the exact same thing. It's fucked up, dude. You're tricking us. It's like burger sauce. Fuck burger sauce. Is it one of them like you're using a certain oil? Like one you're using a neutral oil. Maybe.

Could be. Could be. Bougar sauce, ketchup and. It's just, it's like ketchup mustard, a bit of a like pickle and then like something else. Oh yeah, like the Big Mac sauce. Yeah, but it's like fucking, it's not a special sauce. That's all the sources brought together. Yeah.

Which is a special source. I guess. They always call it their special sauce. It's the same fucking sauce. It's not special. Yeah. They go, oh, it's, you know, it's Johnny's burger joint with the special Johnny's sauce.

You go, what the fuck's that going to be? Oh, it's the fucking mayo pickles and mustard and tomato. So what's the one? When you go to Johnny's burger joint and you get Johnny's sauce, I want it to blow my fucking mind. Okay. It's just oil, like just fucking oil from a car. Yeah.

That would at least be novel. I would say, I can't eat this, but I, I'll make you for innovator. Yeah, you want like an innovative thing. So you want like, oh, it's a, have a mango in it? Yes. Is it a little like carrot or whatever? Yes, that's so much to ask.

No, that's fair. Yeah, dude. Special sauce. Although I will say that like there's been restaurants I've been to where their special sauce has been something that I thought was dog shit. And even though I could have ordered something without it, I just never went back again. If that's their special source, that's like their signature. Because it's an indicator of the quality.

Yeah, the quality of the restaurant. It's my special. That's just, that's just catch. Yeah, exactly. What's special about that, dude? That's special. I went to talk about. place that had awesome sandwiches, but

they put like a fucked up cheese on their chips. What was the cheese? It was like some, they went too fancy with it. Oh, yeah. Was it like a, uh, was it like a melted cheese or was it like a, like a, no, it was like a parmesan? It was like a parmesan, but it wasn't parmesan. Was it like a gorgonzola? Like, was it kind of like a stinky cheese?

No, it was like a really dry. Oh, that's weird. Like, it was like almost like a cheese powder. Like, yeah, like the powdered parmesan. But like, Ibitsy, long. Yeah, okay. Fuck that cheese. If you just put like fucking through fucking mozzarella

on there, I'd be like awesome. Motsaralla on chips. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, I agree. You're right though. A special sauce does indicate, that is an indicator of the quality of the restaurant. Yeah, so like if a special sauce like,

hey, it's just fucking pickles or whatever, but you've put a little bit of something in it. Literally, if they go, it's our traditional, you know, it's like the mayo ketchup, a mustard pickles,

oil sauce, and we put hot sauce in there. That's enough. I go, you're fucking trying. Okay? You've had to think. You've had a think.

You go, how can we differentiate ourselves? What's our USP? Everyone else going, oh, it's just a fucking special dog. It's just a burger sauce. Fucking grow up, okay? Anyway. So, yeah, back to clones.

Fair enough. So, like, yeah, there's two ways you can do it. It's like, you just suddenly have a clone. Yeah. Like, wake up in a lab, bad. But I would also say labs only... Well, if I wake up in a lab, have I been kidnapped or have I walked there?

Yeah, I feel like this. I think you walk to the lab Well, I went to the lab because I'm like, I want a clone Or have I been kidnapped? You've been kidnapped. I think the two fucking lap, like, they can both be lab. The two clonings is wake up, don't know how you got there, you've got a clone, don't know if it's you, don't.

The other one is you go to the cloning facility and get clones. And the third one is you walk into like, oh, my clone, like in the streets. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if I rank the scary ones, running into my clone in the street not knowing, number one, Number two, waking up in a lab, finding out of being cloned. Don't know if I'm the clone or not. Number two. And then number three, I've gone to the cloned lab.

Not for a real case. I agree that, like, hey, my choice, that's the least scary. But I think waking up in a lab being kidnapped is the most scary. Yeah, but finding out that you've got it, because you're not thinking. One's the immediate scare. I've woken up and I'm presumably, like, I'm assuming that I'm, like, I'm strapped down. But if I'm walking, that's a, if I kind of looks like me.

But then when I realized that is a clone, then when did it happen? I would never realize it was a clone until far too late. Could I be like maybe it's a long, do I have a twin? Do we get separate of birth? Maybe they're a relative. What's going on here? And unless I interact with them, I wouldn't know this. How would I eventually find out that this was a clod of mine?

But he might eat at you to be like, what was going on with that guy? Or I'm just like, I clearly must have had a mental break. But if I'm waking up in a lab. But I think if I wake up in a lab and I see a clone in a vat. Yeah. I go, well, he's kind of done with you. with me then, right? Like when the mad scientist comes by, I go,

well, you got the clone. You don't need the original. Like, why would you need the original? What makes you think you're the original? Also... Well... Also, what? You think that you get cloned and then they kill you? No, maybe he lets me go. What's he want with me? Yeah. Why's he cloning me? What's so good? Like, if you're cloning me, I assume it's for spare organs or like, you know, you want to do...

Clown you just for an ethical way to put you down? You really want to kill Jirkson. Oh, let's make a clone. I'll kill. that. Am I like your organ pig or something? What's going on? But then yeah if he's like, well I did it for organs, I'm like, well, you got the clone, you can just, what do you need me? I'll give you a pint or two of blood.

You want to keep cloning me? Yeah. I don't care. Go nuts on my clones. I feel like that getting cloned and not knowing if you're the actual clone is tricky because if both of you were in the same boat of like, I'm the original. You've only got one life to live and two guys don't want to

live it. That's true. Do you think you would relent? I mean, I guess That's the point of a question. But like, do you think if you met the other you and the other you's like, I want to live your life? Would you be like, well, first start? Or again, if there's literally no way of telling, like, who is the original, who is the clone? I think you would either, one of you has to live this life. The other one has to either fuck off or you're like, well, you can live this life, but these things are not yours.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I think would just eat at the other person. So I think the best option would be to fuck off. Yeah. How you decide that. And to me, it would be like, look. Well, look, hey, let's flip a coin. Yeah.

Whoa. But then we both call heads. Flipping a coin for your wife and child? That's rough. It is rough. But how else are you doing it? Because again, I could be the clone or I could be the original. Well, what about it is?

If I'm the original and then I'll be like, okay, you know, but there's no way of me knowing that. Because I could be the clone and then I could be cucking the original. Yeah. And either way, it's not going to do. Plus, who are you going to trust, you know, who else are you going to trust with your wife and child than you? Exactly. You're the perfect person. And then if there's no way of seeing if I am the original.

I think you would have to, so say the coin toss method, if you lose, you would kind of have to just be like, it would be really hard to do, but you would almost have to break your own brain to be like, I'm the clone. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, you just be like, I am the clone. I'm the clone. I didn't lose my wife and child. I have those memories, but they would never mind. Exactly.

I was a clone. And again, that's the kind of thing. Well, you might just be, yeah, okay, we'll flip a coin and then it'll be like, whoever loses is the clone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And then you go, all right, okay, time to start a new life. Now, I'm the clone. What do we want to do? It's kind of exciting, yeah.

You know, like all those things in life, you know, sometimes you see somebody's traveling somewhere exotic and you go, that looks exciting, but I can't live that life. I've got too many attachments in my, but then you're like, well, clones, how much taking care of that? It's also really rare to get like a full reset because, like, I don't know, if a relationship fails, that's not, you're not also losing your job in your house. Yeah. And if, like, I don't know, you lose your job. Like your partner might still be there for you, but to lose everything? Exactly. You see, now I'm thinking, like, would I like, you know, if I, like, lost on the clone, you know, like, I got to fuck off.

I'll be like, hey, I'll just help. Yeah, yeah. I'll help around the house. That's depressing. Oh, hey, don't worry about it. I look after Johnny Baby. Can I watch you guys have fucking that's good enough for me. Oh, awesome.

And, like, I'll just jerk off, I guess. Hey. Okay. It's crazy that, I mean, I guess, fair enough that, like, your wife's not like, well, it is you again. And maybe... Nope, keep him out of it. And maybe... Hey, hey, hey, hey.

And then maybe what if... What if... What if I got involved? Could do it. Could do it. I thought you were going to say, I think that if that actually happened, rather than, like, leaving, I would be like, Johnny Baby and Johnny was, I know a place. Yeah.

Get a clone baby and clone. Whoa. I mean, that's also another option. Two of the families just living... Yeah. That's great. Neighbors with yourself Whoa

Keep the same job We don't know who's Family we're recording with Oh no yeah no No no But if I lose out the cloning Like I'm the clone Yeah no I'll help out

Whatever I'll be a spare zamet Just kicking around That sounds wonderful That makes me so sad Dude I'm so sleep deprived This sounds nice Yeah But you're helping out

You're still gonna be You're gonna be pretty much You're gonna get all the bad stuff Of what you're talking about And none of the good Yeah Not necessarily Yeah, but what it was...

Because again, it's like... Because if you're helper-zab, or spare zabit, unfortunately, I don't believe that your wife and child will love you the same. It's whatever, it's just two dads and must... Well, if you're a dual dad, that's different. Yeah, if you're just... If you're still in the relationship,

and it's just, there's just two of you now. Fine. Normal. Placing yourself in the spare category. Yeah, that's sad, because you become like your own butler, So you become a butler to your old life. Wait, this is sounding great. I make a fortune showing off that I'm cloned, by a mansion, become my own butler.

Oh, that makes me so depressed. And you're me. And you go, no, no, no, no, no, no. You go, dinner served. And then the other jacks are going, ha, ha, ha, ha, you're me. That hits you like a dog. Yeah. Yeah.

We find a lot. Yeah, I think I just become like another dad in the situation. That's cool. That's okay. Again. A lot of this has to come up like, you know, it would be a discussion with, you know, I'm not the only person in this relationship. If, if wife was like, no, I can't do this, I'm like, wow, fine, one of us has to become the spare. Yeah.

But if wife was like, all right. I'm like, well, it's all for you hung and all. All right, let's go. Well, could you do? What do you think about this? If you go, okay, so we've got one life, but there's two guys living it. Yeah. What if you take, we just alternate years?

No. There's no, because you're forgetting that, I mean, I know you haven't changed as a person at all in 20 years, but one year is a long time. Yeah. You could go feral in a year. You would, dude. You go feral in six months. You're like a hog that he's gone into the wild. Yeah, because you're having a boring.

Yeah, your hair would get, like, coarser. You get more aggressive and have, like, a certain musk to you now. You're so funny to imagine, I'm waiting at the airport with the sand that says, Jack. accent and I see me walking out there and I just look feral and I just put the sign down. Beard wiring. You can smell you before you see you. I'm here. Oh, fuck.

He smells right. Oh, fuck. How did they let him on the plane? Yeah, it's good. Also, like, where did he go? Yeah. When he goes to go feral. Exactly.

Yeah, no, I think I'll integrate with myself very well because I'm like, you know what? I don't, I'm hitting 40. I don't need to go out and see what else is around. Yeah, you've seen. You know, to do like, oh, what if I live my life like this? Fuck that. I'm very happy and content. So I think the thing I'm starting, like, start up for right now is time and the two of us.

Ah, that would be good, dude. As long as it's shared equally. Yeah, yeah. Because if it's not and one of you's bought lozama, that would make me depra. That's all right. I would prefer to. You could be depressed. I don't know.

I have a brand old time. What if we did, like, what? What if it was like, you know, each week? To bottle your own child whilst... Each week we flip a coin or each day we flip a coin. Whoever gets like, whatever, that's Butler's hammer for the day. Okay, if it's rotating every day, then that's okay. Rotating Butler's Ammon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if it's a permanent position... If it's a permanent... Would you... Yeah, exactly. You're going to kill yourself in your sleep with a pillow, yeah. I'm like, I'm the real... The Butler's Amet left.

Bottle's left. Six feet under. That's where Butler's Ammon is. I didn't kill a man because... because he was a monster. Exactly. You can't be tried for killing your own clone or whatever.

You go, Dad, you've got, because you got like a pencil mustache. It's not illegal and I'm like flipping through a book. Actually, yeah, it is. Oh,

what the heck? Do you think you differentiate yourself from your clone? I think that would have an egg mode one and then normal. Egg modes that domesticated and normal sparral.

Yeah, exactly. Daddy, daddy, when's other Jackson coming back from his triple board? I go, well, the one with hair, that's Farrell Jackson. Daddy has no hair. Yeah, he's an egg.

Daddy's egg. Farrell Jackson. Yeah, you've got Boar Jackson and Egg Jackson. Yeah, exactly. Whoa, dude. Yeah, I think I'd have to differentiate each other just for like ease. That's good. Maybe a tattoo on your forehead one and two.

Well, I wouldn't probably do that. One and A, one and a equal. Joel, yeah, Joel 1 and. Joel A. Yeah. Yeah. You can differentiate it, but it's equal. No one's number two.

Everyone's last one. You know, you're most. Well, you both have a sea tattered in your forehead for clone. You don't help. Yeah. We know. Yeah, I think, like, my method would be pretty much team up with my clone for a bit.

Yeah. Because, obviously, I, again, like, I know. You don't want a bottle dush. No. No. Like, I don't have a kid. Yeah. So, like, a bottle of ducher should, in theories, be less sad for me.

A Baladush is so much more upsetting for some reason. Bala Ducer is sadder because like, are you that lives in your house and is subservient to you? Yeah, for no reason. Like, there's no kid. Shall I turn on the Switch 2 for you, sir? I'm actually thinking PlayStation 5 today. Excellent choice, my lord. I would you like eating from the fridge?

Perhaps a Coke Zero most refreshing and cold. Help yourself to want two, Bollard. Dusha, just kidding. Don't drink out of the dog ball. You're talking about. Yes, sir. Of course, sir. Immediately, sir.

Your wish is my command. That's after four days. I'm sitting on the couch. I'm like, what happened here? So quickly. He didn't want to do it. I get it. He was really apprehensive, but it's fucked up.

You guys take turns? No. Never. I wouldn't dream of it. It was just really easy to break me. I knew everything to do. It was literally whoever got in there for us. We were both just a whole time.

Yeah, I think what I would do is, yeah, fuck a butler to your own life situation. Yeah. Like a clean break. Yeah, literally funny. That here, that is not an opinion of anyone. When you ask the man on the street, what would happen if you had a clone?

I don't think a single person would say they'd become your butler. But that for some reason was, like a first reaction. We were like, yeah, that's one of the obvious. You become a butler to your own life. Well, it's because Zabit was, he started him being like, yeah, I'll just watch my wife fuck the clone me.

That's so funny. Or the original me, because we don't know. And if I'm the clone, or I'm the, you know, whatever. And it's like, or if I'm the, it'd be like, if I'm there banging my wife being like, oh, but if I'm the clone, I've really fucked up original me.

Yeah, this is good. This is good. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's, this is right. I talked it through. And the best. was to co-husband and co-dad. She's so funny to imagine being like,

hey, if you got clones, which one of you would be the bot? Yeah. What? You're in like a classic cloning situation, you get the normal where you bottle your own life? Yeah.

Basically, like most media when it comes to cloning, it's basically like they kind of just want a butler. That's them. I suppose it kind of is what happens in multiplicity. That's true, actually. That one with old mate Paul Rudd, where he's like, again,

he gets a clone of himself to be like, oh, I need someone to do the choice. the thing that I don't want it. Yeah. Fair. What were you going to say, Sarah? I was going to say,

I think that I would have a conversation, like, we'd live together codependently for a little bit. Yeah. Just to, like, try and figure out what we're going to do. And then,

you know, try and scheme as much as possible as a twosome. Yeah. And then I think clean break. Yeah. Maybe stay in contact, though.

Oh, really? Clever, clever. Like, stay in contact so that, like, obviously one of us has left their entire life behind. Yeah. But then you can, like, I don't know,

check in. stay updated on your old life but then also you're like hey man I don't know if you ever wanted to do X Y or Z I did it now this is how you are capable of doing it because I've done it well like hey you'd become like kind of

consumed like if your clone was living not a better life than you necessarily but like imagine that is a risk there I reckon update from your clone at like fucking our Machu Picchu and you go damn I'm having amazing adventures and you go I'm going to work

I'm going to work and... I'm doing my fuck-ass podcast. We're Zammetz the butler and bore Jackson. It's not good. The podcast has gotten worse. It's... Excellent suggestion. Great.

Once again, Jackson. Incredible observation. I watch me fuck my own life. I've lost my mind. There's too many lights. Wow, this is only episode three. three off and we got clueled. Yeah, I must say

your mask is really, really expensive. Is that a rabbit impaled on one of your tusks? Boy, Jackson, excellent choice. I would have cooked it for you if you'd ask, but I think you never heard raw. I'm just surprised you chased down a rabbit.

You've got quick in three weeks. It turns out that you just need like just that once ever of your life. Yeah. Just like, oh, ball mode. Okay. Cool, bore mode. Hey, you go egg, I go boar.

See you soon. Sweet me. Yeah. I'm like turning around. To all force. Off into the bush. Well, time to find a bar mode. Hi, my clone went bore mode.

Say no more. Say no more. I'll get the clippers. Yeah, thank you. Excellent, Joyce. I've got the Butler hairdresser Everyone's got

Yeah They got two Two wolves inside them A butler or a boar It's really It's so funny Imagine being like a ward And being like

Butler cut my hair And he just fucks it up Meeting all the other Like lords and ladies I got my butler To cut my hair I just... I don't know why it's so funny to me, but going to your hairdresser and their clone, who's their

poplar and them is... Is your hair dresser? Yeah, well, you cloned yourself, and one of you became a butler, and that bottle became a hairdresser. Yeah. Indeed. Indeed, of course. A student observation. Okay.

Is the original you a bore? No, not at all. Oh, okay. Mine is. Yeah, you either go butler or bore, apparently. Butler or a bore. I just like, it's tricky. Yeah.

Because, like, I think it would be really hard to, maybe staying in contact is a bad idea. I just don't want to see. I was, like, I was riding the highs of, like, hell yeah, I'm basically living two lives. But yeah, if one of those lives goes way better than the other, that's probably going to go bad. Also, I keep thinking, how are they affording shit?

I'm sitting my bank account just keep lowering. flights to South America That's where like the scheming part At the start would be like Okay what are we gonna do here Like are we splitting our savings Are you gonna adopt a new identity? Yeah

You know Picking you now Do we do this Dole Jusor? All right Hey I'd mate look I'm J.D He's DJ

Clone I think you should choose it better name No I'm gonna be Zoltzjammit Baxon Jaley Baxon, Shaly, I believe I'll be Baxon. Baxon, the ball. Baxon, Zoll, and Zol. Guys, I think how clones are really stupid. Are we that stupid?

Yes. I'm afraid so. Oh, man. From a butler, it must be true. Yeah. Imagine the pressure of, like, looking in the mirror. Yeah. Being like, I got to change my name.

What the fuck name? You've got to adopt the whole new. identity. I'm like, do I go Ben Riley? Ben Russell? Ben Russell? What name will I pick for my new name? Joel Dusha.

Perfect. And then you sue me. I'll go, yeah, I'll do the Ben Riley method. So it's like, you know, your dad's name and your mom's maiden name. Hi, hi, I'm Michael Bell. I'm John Crumborg. That's not bad. Yeah, that's all right.

Yeah, mine's Not great Yeah Yeah Yeah I think I'd go Yeah Nick Mason

Nice I think that's really But then also Like how are you making Like What do you You know To live that

It's more like How do I get that How do I go Are I gonna change my density To Michael Bell I don't know You need to know A criminal

Do I get a because I can't change my name by Deephole. What if I change my name to famous criminals? I'll be Tony Mockbell. See what happens. How do you change your name? Because if you do it by Deephole, I haven't just changed my name. I've changed my original guy's name.

Yeah, you'd have to... Yeah, criminals. You'd have to go off the grid. Is it hard to do? I think it's expensive. And then... Oh yeah, you need a lot of cash. But then the question is, you've got one joint bank account.

Are you robbing yourself so that you can get a face... identity. You would have to work together. Because then there'd be a brief period of time and the tax man would fuck you over this. We're like, well, there's two of us. We can actually work stupid out. True. Good point. But then, would that be, no, because the banks can't,

it's not like the bank sees your pay slip to be like, you're working two full-time jobs. No, you are working two full-time jobs. I mean, good for you. That for you actually. But like, you know, one of them is taxed at a higher rate or whatever it is. Or, you know. Yeah, but it still doesn't matter. Well, we're a media company. Yeah, yeah. One of us is just, you know,

And like, you know, we'd record this stuff. You do the editing stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do a stream. Yeah, but that bankrupts the company. Yeah, but we know. Like, so, we're doing this to fund you to make your wage go high. No, no, no, no, no. Other me needs to get a job that's got nothing to do with St.

It's been straight. I just think that's going to be harder to try and figure out with the... Well, do this other me... I think that's way easier. Because, like, again, it's just what... Another one of me goes on seek.com, not sponsored. applies for a job, gets a job, and then he's just working a job while I do this. But also, does this clone of you have it?

Are they connected to your... Does the government know you are a clone? Well, if they... I guess if we went to a clone store, then yes. They might. Presumably, they would organize all this anyway. Yeah, if it's in a world where cloning is just a... A thing that can happen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then, yeah, there would have to be identification. But then there would be reasons why you would believe that you're the cloning, you're not the clowns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which would be like, oh, you're the clone, so fuck off. Or they'd be like, okay, you get a clone. You're the clone, you're the butler.

Or maybe if it was government-approved cloning, I feel like that not knowing who's the clone is, unless there was like an obvious health downside. Like it was like Blade Runner rules where it's like, oh, your clone is only going to live five years or whatever. Oh, yeah. Or if it is like, well, look, we don't know who the original clone is, but you can clone yourself, but you are a clone,

so your tax threshold is higher. That sucks. Being a second-class citizen, but you're yourself? Yeah. But yeah, like so... Why are your second... No, your tax, as in like, you do tax less. Oh, right, right, right, right.

Sorry, I thought you meant that the clone was... I forget we have a joint situation. Yeah. Because you have to be joined. Because there's no way... There is no way to discern who is originally who is the client. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you kind of got to be like, well, we have to make...

Because I guess... Because I guess... But they still have... Wait, we're also really fucking stupid. You just open a second bank account in the same name. And that's okay. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, true, true, true, true. But then you're starting from zero.

Yeah. You could split the money at first That's true Yeah, that's a good point And then like when your clone gets a job Yeah Get off my fucking couch clone Get into the workforce

This is the problem of And then yeah But then my taxes fucked up Yeah Like taxes or whatever Come down to be like Okay, it's not a crime To have two jobs

But if one of your jobs Is like say in You know South America Or you'll buy for a visa Down that way Or those kind of stuff It's like

We should have you working here Yeah There are ways you can probably do it. Yeah. But also, like, it's funny to imagine. Say it's a world where, for whatever reason, your clone gets their own separate identity. It's just a copy of yours.

Legally, they are their own separate identity. They've got their own separate financial, whatever. But then, because we imagine that they go, well, I'm going to go off to South America, I'm going to go live in Japan and teach English or whatever. But probably more likely, they just get a job locally. And you're seeing updates and you're like, well, that's

like a life I could have lived that's slightly different to my... But not like enough that it's like exciting. Well, it's got to be like, but I'm not jealous. Well, you need to leave. You need to go out, not in this state. Go away. At least go to Queensland or like W.A.

Go to the mines. That's what my clone should do. FIFO work. And then I'm watching him. On his Instagram story, he's getting stronger and stronger because of all the manual labor. Yeah. And I'm like, he's going to come back and kill me.

He's going to kill me and take my wife. He's going to take my wife. I know he's going to do that. Because I'd do that if I was strong. Unfortunately, I'm weak and flabby. I would kill me and take my wife. I need to get a gun. But then he would know that I'm getting a gun.

He's going to be strong and have a gun. He's going to get a bigger gun. And he'll be able to hold it because he's stronger than me. Not me. This gun's so heavy. Can't even lift it, dude. Maybe I should shoot myself. Maybe that's faster.

And I shoot myself in the leg. He will get a wound on his leg. He's probably thinking that he should shoot himself in the leg of two. Yeah. Or maybe I get a fly-in, a FIFO job. I become strong. If I shoot both. Then you both work in the minds.

Yeah, exactly. That's not so bad. I shoot myself in the foot, then his foot will hurt. Ooh. Loop or worse. Just getting so confused. If I chop off my hand. It's like coming to your house.

You've got a gun, it's like about to shoot your toe off. Jackson, Jackson, it's not time travel. Cloning. What is his time travel? Cloning. I just got my clone back. He's an exact copy of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's going to be doing the same thing I'm doing right now. And slow him down. In the minds. Okay. Does he have any... Do you know if he has anyone like me to stop him? I don't know what he's doing in his fucking life, dude. His strong life?

I know he's getting strong over there. Yeah, he's going to shoot his foot of him. Oh, you did it as well. That fucking cane. Fuck that hurts. Get in the car. Go to the hospital. I got a bullet hole out of my foot.

Hop in. Dude, this fucking hell. This is really, really sore. Going into the hospital and other you is going next to you. You're in the face time from your, you and a mind. Oh, fucking cat's your foot, dude. Is it sore? So, sore.

Yeah, how's your foot? Fucking hurt. Fuck, this hurts so bad. It hurts heaps, dude. And your foot? Yeah, fucking hurts. In a way, though, you were right. Yeah.

You shooting your foot, dude. And how to slow him down for killing me? Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're... But you've also shot yourself on the foot. Yeah, but I was already slow. My base slowness was already... My name, Jackson, you were going to kill.

Yeah, but now my foot's really sore. Slow yourself down, haven't you? I'm so down. Well, I thought if I did it, I'd slow him down, make it easier to do. Because I'm faster than him. Yeah. So when I slow him down more, then I'll be even faster than slow him. Fuck, dude, he's right.

Where's my gun? I'm going to shoot my other foot. God damn. You're sick, like this shaky camera. It's like, push it out, like, flippling the fucking gun. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck.

So funny that clone me heard that regular me was going to shoot himself in the foot. And it was like, I got to do it. I think he just did the same thing. He comes to the same conclusion. Exactly. We're just trying to outwit each other. Yeah. It's what's happening.

It's a mind's game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're sort of a Moriati and homes of killing each other. It's like, yeah, if it's a Morii homes, they were both dogs. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. What have you just, you met? A version of yourself.

Yeah. You meet at a coffee shop. You go, that guy is identical to me. Yeah. You have a chat. You find out. We are identical. You're the same person.

My name's Joel Zammett or Joel Usha. I'm also. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. When you say identical, it's like, yeah, this is my address. This is my child. This is my wife. I guess. No, if it's that, you go, someone else.

A wizard has come from me. But if it's like, oh, yeah, they lived my life up until when they were cloned, or I was cloned. Exactly. And so then there's a. The version. Yeah, you're sharing memories. You're sharing childhood experiences. I guess, yeah. This is crazy. And then it would be like, oh, this. I'm like, oh, I did this. Yeah. But then it would be a finding out like, well, what did you do? This is what I've done. What have you done? What have you done? What has been, like, cases where, like, identical twins have met. We're like, oh, we both married like a potential twins and they're like, oh, we both married like a person named Stacy. We both love, you know.

know, like, you know, Brunette, we have like a job in this industry. Absolutely. Very identical. And it's weird, like, you know, it's crazy that these match up. And they, oh, I wonder if the same thing would have happened. Yeah. Yeah, that would be a, like, that's a really cool thing. So you, you are me and I am you, like, if I had, or we had done this instead of that.

Yeah, yeah. I think that would be, like, more fascinating. And then it would be a moment of, like, wait, why were we clones? Yeah, when did that happen? Okay. And it would be a, a stage of like, all right, this. Do you remember this? Yeah.

Do you remember this? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, then you work down to the moment you got cloned. And then you go, when, why? And also, in that situation, I would be like, I've been, this is, I can't only have one. Yeah. There's going to be dozens of Jackson's out there. Well, yeah.

Because, like, why would you, because, you know, also from the cloner's perspective, why would you just clone it? Exactly. If I can do it once, I'm doing it 20 times. I'm cloning, like, 10, 20 versions of the guy I've got. Exactly. Send them out into the world. I guess I'd be like, it's a government experiment.

Must be. I've been MK. Ultrid or some shit, you know? Because it'd be weird because it would be weird because it would be weird because it would be, you'd have parents and siblings, that kind of stuff, and it'd be weird to be like, oh, yeah, I just didn't contact them. Yeah, yeah. It'd have to be another level of, like, yeah, a memory implantation, or again, it was like, oh, again, it has to be like, combo bullshit where it was like, you know, oh, yeah, when it

was this thing and, like, you know, how all our family members died, and then I had, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, they're a lot. Yeah, yeah. What? Holy shit. Yeah, that's a good point. Because it's not just me And you know

Yeah You've got The connections And it's not just like the things I've done After you know We've become cloned There's so many ties that bind us To like other people

Yeah Locations other people So for that For it to be a true Like we meet up at a coffee shop Yeah You go There has to be

What the fuck Somebody's been lied to Yeah One of us has been One of us has been Yeah Yeah Who's what the fuck

It's also weird to imagine Meeting somebody Who's like I don't have childhood memories, but they're just like identical to you? Yeah. And you, but I guess in that situation, you go, oh, you must be like a twin. Yeah.

And they'd be like, oh, it's cool. We must be related. This must be a three identical. Stranger situation except. Or there's been people where they're like, you know, it's a photographer who's like whole like, schick sometimes to find people who look so incredibly. Yeah, yeah. They are not related.

Like me that, but if I took the substance and that was crazy. Whoa. Substance Dushab. Damn, dude. I bet he was living in an awesome. depressed life. Yeah, yeah. It's one of you.

Maybe I got the awesome one. Maybe I reckon, dude. Yeah, you're the original. Yeah, I'm the original. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Because, yeah, there would have to be this moment where you're like, oh, dear, there's

something weird happening. Yeah. Or, again, yeah, you'd be like, we're either long-lost twins or we're related in some way. Maybe we do it's a 23 and me kind of thing. And then if it comes out, like, you are identical. Identical. And we're like, oh.

This is strange. We're going to, we're going to, you're a, you're going to, you're parents still around? Yeah. And then they're like, okay, my parents still around and you give the net, you're like, okay, let's go have a chat. I guess I would be like, at some point I went to the doctor for check up and they jacked me off. Yeah, jerked me off for fun. You got the sniffles? Okay, we're just

going to jack you off. Yeah, okay, well, you're the doctor. Yeah. Yeah, sure, I was really listening. Got their questions. Yeah. And then I, you know, when they go out of the six day happens. Yeah, they jerk off ony into a cup. Yeah. They go out. Cloning your dog? Yeah, come out of me. Yeah. Would you like a happy ending?

Okay, what do we think about this? Just side note, because it's just coming to my mind. A vet with a happy ending. But for the owner, not for the dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great distinction. Happy ending, vet bracket for owner. I think it's great because, you know, say your dog's eating a tennis ball.

Yeah. You get a lot of tension. Yeah, it's impacting the dog's stomach. It's got to go for surgery. It's going to go for surgery. You're shitting yourself. They go, hey, the dog's Fido, he's okay. You go, oh, thank God, and they go, and if you'd like to step into my office,

and they jerk you off. Would they jerk you off with a big rubber glove? Or, or it's like, look, hey, Fido is scheduled for surgery. I understand it's going to be a very stressful time. So, look, he's going to be taken care of, but right now, I'm going to take care of you. Oh, that's great, dude. I think that's much better than, like, you know, because, you know, if Fido's already good, I don't, you know, I'm, my, my, you know, stress-level.

I can just go home and chock off. Yeah, happily, while Fido's in the backyard, fucking. in a hole in the ground. I'm a fucked up dog. What's wrong with you, a dog? It's really horny. Did that we got sick in the place? No, he hated tennis.

So I'm like, yeah, again, like, I think it needs to be, hey, it's going to be okay. Yeah. You know, like, it's going to be, look after everyone here. I think it'd be really hard to come. Yeah. Just imagining the smell of a vet. Very, um, hospital.

Yeah. It's a medical situation. That would have a jack-off room. In the, in the veterinarian, you reckon? Well, it'd be a jack-off. Fingering room. Yeah. As in like,

this scenario or they currently to... Well, I mean, I've never fully explored that. Okay. I thought you were talking about a bet.

Yeah, currently. Yeah. I was like, I don't think they do, dude. I think if they got a jerk off the dog,

they're doing it in the same room. Also, I don't know why they would. It's so funny to match. Going to the vet and they're like,

we need to take a sperm sample of your dog and you go, okay, fair enough. And then they go into this room with like bead curtains

and like pouring a music like incense birders. Oh. Get to fuck my dog. I need to go to a different bed. They're really, really cheap, but they do have a dog fucking room. I was really, really curious. It never cost me a scent.

I see. I get it then. I'm constantly so excited to go back to the vet. This is real bad. My dog loves it. Yeah, my dog just hates going to the vet. Not mine. He's a fan.

He's a big fan. My dog gets fucked by my vet. And he loves it Please don't tell me that Please don't tell me that You're ruined Why would you say that? What do you think my reaction is going to be?

You think I'm going to be happy about that? I come to your house Is this a bit? Is this a bit? I think my friend Our friendship is We need to end this. Is this?

Feminently damaged by what you're saying to me. Is this a bit? It's a bit, right? Right? You're going to call the police or do you add your bat? I think, look, hey. Look, I'm going to do it anyway.

But it's my house. If I don't know how a fat was. You know what? First dog. First dog. This is my first time with having a dog. I don't know. Is it weird?

I didn't know it was weird. For your vet to fuck your dog. If you're in my house. I'm a dog to love it. Yeah. My house or your house, either way, I'm getting up and leaving. Okay. Well, I, no, no.

The dog loves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you have a lovely night. Goodbye. I don't know something new every day. Hey, I'm not a call. Not every vet does that. What is your name and address?

Yeah, thank you. Okay, goodbye. My dog would be upset if I started taking him to another vet that doesn't fuck it. That would be crazy. Your dog gets really depressed because you think you do about a normal vet. You go, what do I do with this information? You go, wow, your dog's really depressed. You go, yeah.

You're not a big deal, but the other vet would fuck it. You Lee loved it. That's great. I'm not saying you should. But that would make my dog happy. Why he's just sad. Just like when you talk about it, the dog, like, one ear of the dog goes up. He loves it.

I don't say you have to fuck a dog, but. I don't think you have to fucking dog. Obviously, I'm not going to ask you to do that. It's just that I know my dog. That's what's bumming him out. The old vet fucked him. He loved it. A rude friend called the place for you.

That place is shut down. Yeah. I'm really sad for my dad. I'm really sad for my dog. Yeah. Some place is shut down. I guess there's a gap in the market. They had a lot of customers.

They've got a beautiful spare room. You check some bead curtains on there. There's a Barry White. My dog would be having the time of his life. But obviously, I don't want to put that on you. I bought a CD for you. Yeah. This is my dog's favorite CD.

Please fuck my dog. Oh, that's so funny. I think of it. I was going to a vet that had a happy ending. I wouldn't want it to be, I wouldn't want it to be like, you know, my dog's in the other room. Yeah. And I go, well, you want your dog here watching?

No, no, no, no. But I don't like the idea of, yes. Yes. Yes. I had to think it through. Like, I mean, like in, look, hey, no shade to. Definitely all the listeners out there that do this. But just like fucking with an animal in the room is weird to me.

Oh, yeah, no, close your door. Is there an animal that you'd be chill with, like a fish? Fish, yeah. Fish doesn't know what it's saying. Bird? I think any... No. No. No, bird's too noisy.

Anything that's... Anything that's not a fish. Anything that can make you aware that it's there or get onto the bed? Big no-no. What about like a terrarium or anything like a lizard? Or a snake. Lizards fine.

Snakes, fine. You don't want to fuck in front of a snake? I don't want to fuck a snake guy or a snake girl. That's fair. What about if it's like a frog tank and the frogs they croak louder when you're fucking? No. Well, that's...

That would be a one and done situation. Hang on a second. It's a weird ambience. Like you're fucking in a swamp. Like you're fucking in a swamp. It's got to know. Yeah. It's come around.

I don't know. I've never been having sex and being like, damn. I wish I was fucking in a swamp. But imagine. Yeah. You start to do the deed and the frogs, which have previously been, they go, oh,

well, now I'm like, attention's there. Yeah. You're like, why the frog's so excited. Although now I could be like, yeah, okay. Hey, Alexa, play, uh, Rainforest sounds. That's just how wonderful listeners that are want to fuck for the rain.

Of course. You're welcome. Yeah, like, I've had sex while there's been possums banging on the roof and it's annoying. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. What?

Possums cut it out. Yeah. I could keep going. It was like walking, not like banging as it. Like, hey, stop that. I don't know the possums were banging? No. Because, okay, I thought you were saying

you were banging and the possums were banging. And the possums were banging. Like knocking on the roof. Yeah. Doing possum shit. Oh, yeah, I mean, that's too loud. Too too loud. It killed the mood.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a broom. Insect? Someone's got a stick insect in a terrarium that chill? Yeah, I mean, these are all people that you would love to have sex with and I understand. I don't like, I stick insect. Someone that's just like got a stick box in the room.

I need one of stick insect bitches. Yeah. Yeah, one of them stick insect, honies. That's what I'm looking for. Yeah, yeah. Anything with like. Who is that? You.

That is you. Yeah, I'm one of them. Sick insect, bitches. Check me out. I would love a stick insect. They're freaky. They're freaky. Look, can I give you that? See?

They're cool, dude. I don't want one as a pet. Okay, far enough. Spiders? What, I was like someone having spiders in their room? Yeah. In a glass thing. Loose spiders.

I mean, I'm sure I've had sex in rooms with loose spiders. Honestly. That's fair enough. If you're having sex and there's loose spiders, I don't think the spiders are going to... I, as in like, a daddy-long legs in the corner. Even if they were like, I've got four tarantulas. Oh, I'm out.

I'm out. I'm gone. I'm out of there. Who are you having sex? Jesus Christ. A witch. It sounds like a crowed. Yeah, you fucking.

If somebody says to me, they go, hey, let's go to the bedroom. Just a fair warning. I do have four loose tarantulas in the room. I go, well, yes, Jackson Bay. Thank you for hitting me up on this beauty call. I need to let you know my familiar. The four tarantulas are scarring around my room. Enough chichot.

It was so nice to meet up with you on hotcrones.com. So you think that I'm a hot crows? You're horny for crones. Oh, I'm horny for that crone pussy. Let's go, dude. Yes, I call it my crussy. I know. We've been texting.

Okay. But what I'm thinking is while we're making love, I'm a broom. Yes. While we're making love, we're going to be making so much noise and motion that the tarantulas aren't going to want to come close. They'll be too afraid. Well, I'm too scared. Then I'm scared. I'm going to crush them in the motions. Yeah.

You're not going to get on the bed. They might. They might. I think you're more likely in the afterglow while you're sleeping for one of them to crawl onto you for the heat. That's frightening. Yeah. I don't like it. You're sticky and cozy and, you know.

Naked still. naked and covered in your love is crone juices. And the tarantula crawls up your body. There I go, this is a bit much, actually. Maybe the crone life's not for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to stop dating, I've got to stop fucking crows. I've got to grow up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to crawl up. Collect that crone juice for, like, you know, some potions. Spells, yeah. To do spells later all right. I think cloning, we'd figure it out. I think we would. I think, honestly, it's a lot more chill

when you kind of break it down and you start like, you know, talking it through, especially with your clone. You're like, well, yeah, no, I think we can figure this one out. Absolutely. You can come to such a conclusion. Again, you know, being in our like, you know, mid to late 30 slash almost 40s, I think by now we've figured it out if we were cloned. Yeah.

You'd be like, oh, yeah. Hey, it's fine. Yeah. It's fine. It's not a big deal, dude. People make a big deal out of it. It's not a big deal. Yeah, yeah.

What is probably more of a big deal is every other thing we said in this episode. And on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. You for some reason you want to support us. And I feel like I'm saying that more or more. If you go, these boys need money because they're in a bad way. Well, they're unhirable after they just released a this one too.

So if this goes... Oh, their clones are going to get another job, they say. I don't know how. Good luck. Remember, you can support us by subscribing to the bad brain boys, which you'll find all the details for. In the show notes, you get a bunch of bonus content, ads free. Ads free episodes.

access to the discord Discouts on live shows Early episodes Discouts on live show tickets There's a lot of stuff in there Plus the main thing you'd be Allowing our boys Here's the thing, listen

This is the relationship we have Okay This only happens because of you Okay And I don't mean that as a warning A lot of other content creators Do that as a loving thing Like hey, we only do this

Because of you Everything we said about The vet and the crow That was because of you Exactly A lot of content creators are very much like, we couldn't do this without you. We're here to say, we couldn't do this without you.

You're culpable. But in all sincerity, we couldn't do this without you. But we also couldn't do this without you. So please support us. And follow us on Instagram at Plumbing Pot as well. Get in the comments of the picture for this episode or any real that's supposed to say, yuck. Not a good one, boys. Better luck next time, fellas.

We'll see you in the comments. We'll be the ones fighting for our life. Bye-bye. Dear me. I made chicken adobe for dinner last night and for meal perhaps, but I fucked it up so bad. Dude, that's awesome. What happened? Well, okay, don't laugh at me.

No laughing. Don't call me in eating. No, I would never. So in the recipe called for in the marinade white vinegar. And I was like, but I have these lime. What if I used lime juice? That's acidic. And let me tell you, dude.

And then my second mistake was, what if I didn't taste test this until the very end? Then I was like, I made some sour ass chicken, dude. I made some fucking sour chicken. I mean, like, fair enough, you would try it out something new. How much lime juice?

Did you do the equivalent of, Say it was like, say, half a cup of vinegar or a cup of vinegar. I did two whole limes. Because that's how many limes I had. Well, because fucking lime, brown sugar, fish sauce, all of these flavors go together. Great. Soy sauce, garlic. That's a nice combination.

I'm with you. It's just that I made really... You maybe just added too many limes. Really sour chicken. I'm like, one lime? I shouldn't have done any limes because I don't think. it was meant to be sour when I was like

oh oh no I struggle when I'm making like I can remember when I made candy chicken accidentally struggle in that department I struggle

when I'm using so much sugar and well not vinegar so much brown sugar for that candied chicken dude that was really bad

yeah man I'd like yeah I mean it's hard to no It's hard to taste test with the marinade. No. But, I mean, because I'm thinking, well, you've got like raw chicken.

But that's like as you're putting it over the chicken. Yeah. Once it's cooking and it needs to cook. Or even like, oh, you make the marinade, you taste it. Yeah. Granted, that will taste a bit different. Yeah, yeah. But you could have been like, mm-hmm on the Muppet's face.

Just, mm-hmm. Plus, I had to, like, it had to, like, cook for 25 minutes. So I had plenty of time to chuck a little pinky and be like, oh, I've made the sourish chicken imaginable. How do you fix? Sugar. Sugar, yeah. Absolutely. Then you could make sweet celery.

Sweet sour chicken. Oh my God. All you make another candy chicken. What I ended up doing is putting a little bit of coconut milk and maple syrup in there and I sorted it right out. Okay. Did it actually? Yeah. How good.

Well, the chicken stayed sour because it had 25 minutes. I have absorbed. Absorbing live juice. But, you know, the marinade and sauce was pretty good in the end.