Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Improve the Human Body?

Episode Date: March 15, 2026

The human body has so many superfluous bits and is lacking cool things like extra knees and we here at Plumbing the Death Star are the perfect trio to come up with brilliant and very smart ideas to change things up. Let's take a hard look at our beautiful bodies and just go buck wild with it. Swapping genitals? A little guy that does all our poops for us? A big eye on the top of our head on constant watch for big birds? All this AND Jackson has a weak little mouth on another exceptional episode of what is fundamentally a pop culture podcast.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up gamers and fans of podcasts in general. Are you a gamer and a fan of a podcast and maybe in Sydney in April? That was my practice one. I'm good to go. It was really good. I don't think you need to practice anymore. What's up gamers and fans of other podcasts that aren't necessarily video game-based. Did you know that thumb cramps is heading to Sydney in April?

That's right. Thumbcrams and Friends presents Sydney April on April 16 at 7.30 p.m. At where? What? The factory theater. I don't know. Don't look at us. We don't know.

You tell me where we're performing. We're performing it in the factory floor, which is one of the rooms in the wonderful factory theater. And when? I don't know that either. I said just before. Well, remind, he wasn't listening. listening. I don't know what's going on. I'm very scared. And it's on April 16.

Thursday, April 16, at 7.30 p.m. respectable time for a weeknight. Yeah. Yeah. And Thumb cramps obviously is hosted by me and Jackson. But you might have heard when I said thumb cramps and friends present three sit in April and you're probably sitting there being like, who they're friends. I'd love to buy a ticket to this

podcast, but I need to know who their friends are. Great news. It's Joel Zamette. Hello, I'm right here. You probably heard my voice from before when I said, what? What's going on? You can expect some of that, but you You can also expect that from Andrew Levens. He's not in this studio currently. We can't throw to him.

He'll be there. Steph Panicassio. Also not in this studio. But you can imagine what you might say. Chloe Appleby. Same thing. Bet she'd have a good joke right about now. Ruby Inners.

I bet she'd say something mean to me. Those are the friends, but whose thumb creams? Well, it's Joel Dusha. Hey! It's me. Back to bye. And Jackson Bailey. I'm in Zammett Bailey

And Zammett Bailey This starts going really well Anyway Tickets are available now There is only like 30 or so left We booked a room that we thought Was gonna be too big

And now it's looking like it could sell out You can get tickets through the Thumb Crams Instagram bio Or any of the show descriptions Of a Thumb Crams episode Listen released in the last And the show notes of this episode too Whatever it is

Look down I guess Grab your phone and be like Look down but not too down because that's how you'll find the floor. This is Thumbcrams' first time doing a show outside of Melbourne and technically London. Yeah. So don't forget to come.

And I'll see you there, gamers. Don't you dare forget to come to our show. Don't you forget to come. It's such a funny call out. Hey, everyone. Welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Storm. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson.

And I'm also, Joe. What's Plumbing the Death Star You Ask? Not a Star Wars podcast. It's a comedy, pop culture podcast that asks the important questions. Boy, is this one that? How would you improve the human body? Now, I was thinking about... Oter Rico did it.

Yeah. What if? It counts. What if you had a little guy that was... A little guy in your belly. But I was thinking about that time where maybe an artist. Or someone was like, I'm a design, or maybe it's a company, I'm a design, like, the human body, if it was evolved for, like, office work,

see, pop culture. Oh. If it was involved for, like, office work or something. Yeah. And it was kind of be like, all right, you know, we're going to need, like, a big, thick skull. And it was like, let's make the body as messed up as you humanly can because this is, you know, what we're doing to ourselves. This is, yeah, how we're fucking ourselves.

It's bad for us. And we need to be, I don't know. That's a funny thing that they did where they go, like, this is the human body. This is how it would evolve. if we evolve for office work, how bad is that? But, like, he's evolved for that. You got your little machine in your hand? No.

Not you. No, yeah. Why not me? Because you never look up shit that I want you to anyway. What the hell? Can you look up, and listeners at home do this as well, if I'm proven correct. Okay. I'll look up the work colleague of the future.

Is that who you're thinking of? I think so. Her name's Emma and she looked fucked up. Yeah. Show me on your screen. Dude, where's your machine? I left it outside. Dude, is it because you didn't charge it overnight?

No, I just forgot. Forgot what? I went to the fridge to get a drink and I put my phone down. Yeah, that's the one I was, yeah, I was remembering. Show it me. Do you just stop showing it to me. It's like they've got a beautiful hunchback. It was like I permanently bent back caused by sitting for hours in a bad position.

A rotan stomach. Whoa, she looks awesome. Caused by sedentary working. Yeah. Barracus veins from poor blood flow. Hair, eyes and nose as well as swollen. nose because of poor air quality. Of course.

As they drive, it's just real fucked up, right? Sallow skin from years of artificial light. But that's not evolved. She's not evolved for that. If she was involved for that, she'd be thriving. Right.

She is thriving. She is thriving. She wouldn't be swollen and have like a bad, like, because the way they talk about her is like she's suffering. Well, it's more about,

I guess, it's, you're being, like, the environment is like forcing these challenges onto the human body. I guess it's evil evolution. Yeah. We're not like seeking out

the best, you know, the Varacost veins so that we're good for sitting? Yeah, well, she's not, it's not saying like, her legs are going to pop any day now. Yeah, I guess they're just like this is a consequence, you know. She's smiling. You can't evolve

wrong. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the common chihuahua. I don't know if that evolved. They just did that naturally, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't, did we have No, that wouldn't have been honest. We didn't have fucked up that dog real bad. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No. Darwin didn't fuck the dog, right? Darwin didn't make evolution. He wasn't going to the Galapagos Islands and having sex with all the pigeons. I know what I'll sort this out. Some man DNA. Let me just jump out of the island.

No one follow me. Yeah. Maybe I was just thinking about this individual wrong. But I was thinking like, well, yeah, if I were in charge of making the human body, but there's so much superfluous stuff. Oh, I agree. So much stuff.

Why is I here? Firstly, toenails. Get rid of them. Yeah, he's right. What are they for? I don't want them. What is a fingernail for? I don't know. Getting rid of, hmm?

Dead cells, that shit? Does it make you more... We can't scratch good? Yeah. But does it make you more dexterous to have a fingernail? Like, you can pick up stuff that you couldn't have you just had fingers? What if I instead? We got rid of the finger now, but then we put an extra joint there with an extra bit of finger on it.

So each little finger could do a little pinch up. They've got fingers on the fingers. Yeah, I think that's a really good idea. In fact, let's just give us, like, double the fingers, honestly, while we're doing. Yeah. Ten fingers on each hand? Two thumbs, eight fingers or ten fingers? Ten fingers? Ten fingers in a thumb?

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, what about... We have another thumb on the other side. So we got two thumbs on both hands. Yeah. And then, so, you know, what's annoying, what maybe, is what if we had, like, every finger was maybe like a T section? Okay. So we had like a finger coming out, like, you could make... Gloves are gonna be hard, but...

Yeah. What's the dude? Yeah. This is a problem with this question. Some stuff's just gonna, we're just gonna do for the fuck of it. Yeah, I don't know if that's... Well, I mean, 10 fingers... 10 fingers feels like that already.

No, because 10 fingers is... Why? I can play more notes on a piano. Double the grip, dude. You know? Is it? Actually, no, he's right. You got, we're stupid.

What you want is a second hand coming out of your hand. Or you can clap with one arm. I'm not out of one hand clapping. Well, yeah. One arm clapping. We have four... Basically, we have pincer. But also each pincer can separate into fingers.

But it's like two pints. That's huge for the human body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not pushing back. I was more just asking you to think about any suggestion you make. Why? Well, first of all, I don't... Nails are annoying.

None of these are about it. No, this is not a Joel Zammett directed thing. Oh, yeah. It's Mr. What if we had 10 fingers and a thumb on both sides of a hand? Yeah, just for extra grip. You grab stuff that or is that not good? side of the hand, I think that's going to help us with better grip. Yeah.

I think there was someone who was like, I'm going to make this like an artificial thing and they did like some robotics or whatever. They gave themselves a second thumb. They were like, it's useful. It's good. But yeah, fingernails are annoying. What's the point of them? Dirk it's under there.

I don't know what the good of a fingernail is. I don't know why we have. Honeails especially. Fuck them off. Yeah, yeah. Don't need them. Like, it's just, it's busy work on the human body. I understand this is probably like, you know, maybe like a throwback.

Yeah. But let's make our feet grasp again. Yeah. That would be nice. To be able to climb trees better, you know, ape style. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So. Yes. Finger nails. Yeah. Jackson was slightly right. Well, part of it was right. We evolved to have them because it's kind of like a built-in weapon. Yeah.

But also it helps with picking up tiny objects. Okay. And scratching an itch. But also it protects blood vessels and nerves in the top of the finger. Oh, yeah. So you're making your hand. You know, when you cut your fingers. fingernails like too short and then your feet, fingers feel really sensitive.

Yeah. That, I guess, they'll just always feel sensitive now. Okay, then, okay, I guess, instead of having, maybe instead of fingernails, what about we make the fingernails kind of what we make our teeth out of. Oh. So we're nice in animals. So we don't have to, we never have to chip them. I cut them. I do chip.

Brush out. Brush out fingers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, I, okay. Also, taste receptors on our fingers. That's a bad idea.

Why? Because I don't want to be tasting the world like that. But like if we've got a taste a berry to see if it's poisonous, the only way I can do that in my mouth and I might swallow. Yeah. How you wiping? Fair enough. How you wiping your ass?

With a bidet. He's fucking solved your riddle. Yeah, yeah. What about like, I'm not fingering my ass to wipe. Yeah, but you're right there. Yeah. There's going to be poop particles on your tasty finger. Okay, okay.

But no, all right. All right. Instead of pooing. Okay, what about scratching your eyes? Instead of pooing. Instead of pooing. What if what is? So we laid an egg

Like a chicken But that was just all All our shit But not like Is it like the egg If I crack the egg It's full of you I reckon yeah

But I don't want to Because I don't want to lay a shell Like because you know how like it would Like a chicken How it lays an egg It's like picking up calcium deposits So in a similar way of like Going throughout digestive track or whatever

Maybe just taking bits of like You know like the What is it called? The Cillian or whatever. Oh, yeah. And so, like, will it just be like a fleshy egg?

Okay. It's like more bouncy. You can't crack it. Right. If you want to, you could cut it and it's shit. But it's like like a flesh egg. Disgusting. Full of human weight.

Okay. And that's how we get rid of it. No smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No smell. But you've seen like what an egg looks like the moment it comes out. Yeah. It's still covered in.

Yeah. Yeah. It's covered in shit, unfortunately. Goop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not like a clean. Self lubing so that the egg comes out easy. No,

But what about this? Because we're designing the human body, okay? Here's a problem with the human body right now, full of microplastics. Okay? So what if, what our body does, we engineer it such, is that it takes the microplastics to make,

like, you know, like the egg inside a Kinder surprise? Oh, we shit out toys? No. Yeah. Yes. And then you can open it up and there's a toy inside that a child might want. No, no.

Yeah, what's wrong with taking a toy? out of your ass and giving it to a little baby boy. Again, there are no nose here. Yeah, it's a brainstorming session. I guess if we're designing it, a human body. 100% efficiency. If me,

no waste. No waste. That's a great idea. Yeah, 100% efficiency. Maybe make us like photosynthesize. If Jackson took a shit. Yeah.

And it was a toy. And then he cleaned it and then he walked the next door and he gave it to a little baby boy. You'd have an issue with that? Yeah. That's crazy. What the fuck? He should have to be.

Beautiful toy! I've seen how he lives his life. I say that's just how my body's designed. Yeah, in terms of microplastics that I suck in through all the straws I'm eating. Because I like a turtle, get confused. All the plastic bags, I think, are jellyfish that I'm eating. They get absorbed into his stomach,

and then they turn into Kinder Surprise. Yeah, exactly. Then he shits them out, then he gives you a son. I got to do something with him, dude. You know, I'd rather, obviously I could donate them to like an op shop. If it was the other end, like if you... If I vomited off time. up in a surprise.

That's the other end. Yeah. I was thinking horizontal plane. You were going vertical. Yeah, but if you vomited up, kind of surprise. Yeah. And I'd be more comfortable with that for some reason. Because it hasn't been to my arson.

That makes sense to me. Okay. It's like you'd probably rather I spit on your baby than shit on your baby. I'd rather you'd neither. But yeah. But I guess, you know, sometimes you would, if you're speaking, you actually actually Yeah, exactly. But you never act.

Well, I mean, you guess you do, but not on someone, hopefully. No, no, no. Your baby spits on us. Yeah, all the time. It's a level the playing field. All the time. This is what it feels like. Well, I think the human body that's always pissed me off, right?

Is balls. Because our balls. Because they're too awesome. Yeah, it's too cool. They're full of such awesome stuff and they're just hang there. They're funny to look at. Funny to look at. Yeah, floppy.

Oh, yeah. Press fruit bowl? Funny. Oh, dude. No, but, because the thing about balls, right? Moving all the time. Yeah. What's going on there?

But they can get donked, right? And it hurts. Yeah. That's a famous thing about balls. This is not the case for most animals. You know, it's up them for most animals. And I don't know why we weren't given the same liberty of having our balls inside. I mean, we'd also have to get a baccule him.

Yeah, that's fine. That's chill. I won't name names, but one of our friends who was also part of this podcast, network thought for a while that there was like a cavity behind the... So like in a gooch, it was like a cavity where you could tuck the balls in? That rocks. That rules. I wish we had that cavity, dude.

So like, that's currently a myth, but what if that's true? You could kind of like click your balls in. Yeah, like an action figure. Yeah. I pop them out again. You go, I'm time to go to sports mode. Yeah. And then maybe you can unscrew your penis.

Yeah. Oh, now we're talking. Pushing it in sort of thing. thing. Oh, like a telescope spot? Yeah, telescopic, yeah. I think I'd like to unscrew it because sometimes I'd like to... I would lose it. Yeah.

Where to go? We're coming to work, so I'm very stressed. Hey, guys, did I leave my penis at yours last? Borrow my penis? Actually, wait, could we... Now I'm back on board. Because you say, do you guys, if you guys knew what my penis is? And then I go, I'm like, I don't know.

Then I go to piss later. And I'm like, oh, this is embarrassing. I picked up the wrong penis. You know? I wouldn't fuck you with his dick. Yeah, you could. That you could give it a crack, dude. If we could unscrew our penises, would you swap penises with me?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, nice. That's comforting. There's something nice about that. I would probably, the only reason I wouldn't let you take mine home, though, because I know you'd come back with someone else's. Yeah. Here it is, dude.

This is not my penis. Come back with someone else. Also, it's like, it's like it's been rolled around the floor coming in, like, it's coming in barber hair for some reason. Did you get a haircut yesterday? No. No? Oh, wait, you mean a haircut?

Yes. Do you know the name of the barber? Because I think they have my penis. No. I don't know. Just Google, like, hairdresser. Yeah, yeah. Like around my area, I reckon?

What was it around your area? Hmm? No, I went for a walk. Well, defined my area. Yeah, big. Like in Melbourne. Yeah, yeah. I got off the train because they saw,

a dog maybe? And then you're on the phone for the rest of the day calling up random handraises. Hi, I'm really sorry to bother you. My friend was in the other day. He looks like a sort of gnome dumpling man. And you might have left... He was rolling his penis around on the floor.

Or maybe yours or a patron. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just want you to check for my penis to see if it's there. Yeah, uncircumcised. And then probably they're lost and found. A bunch of penises and they're just, you know... That'd be fun. Yeah, I'll screw your penis.

I just, it'd be nice to be able to imagine you could go out for a day if you had like something important you needed to do. No horny. You get ready, penis, get ready of balls. How often are you... Horny's not interrupting your thoughts. Yeah, I just feel like... I mean, it will, it just won't visibly interrupt you. You just can't do anything. It's really frustrating. In your 30s, how often are you out doing something and get, like, you're just like, oh my God.

Here I am. Podcasting with my boys. I'm getting all flushed. I'm meant to be going to buy a sandwich right now. But on this walk for some reason, I saw a puddle that looked like a tit. And now I can't continue. Oh, damn.

Wish I hadn't left my penis and balls at home. I would fuck the shit out of that bottle. No, I mean, obviously, yeah, in my 30s, I'm not, yeah. I'm not affected like that. But some part of your brain is got to be, there's going to be some percentage that you would get back by removing it from you. You know? You've got like...

You've got the capacity for horny. Yeah, exactly. You've got like a big work thing you need to do or like a very important like task that needs to be done. And so you get one of them like lockboxes that you do for like phones with a timer. And so you just put your penis in there to be like this is... I can't. Two hours of no penis time. It'll distract me.

It'll distract me. Exactly. And then when you're done, you reward yourself with your penis time. Honestly, being able to unscrew different bits of your body like that. Yeah. What about just completely modular? Yeah, that would be really cool. Yeah.

What if we all just become heads in the jar? Yeah. Fabulous. We just do modular, like, flesh droids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you... And we could have different flesh droids for different things. Yeah.

So, like, if you wanted, like, you know, a human body, we could do that. But if we just wanted, like, an amorphous blob, just kind of, you know, roll around the house. I would like to be an amorphous blob. Yeah. Now that I think about it, I'm like, what's actually, like, generally, the things are, like, annoying you do you about your body the most. I'm like, well, it's like back pain, joint pain.

As you get older, things aren't, like, you know. But if we were just a big, like, amorphous blobs. Yes, dude. Oh. Very awesome. I could fit into any shape. Can I be like with my amorphous blob body? Can I like to eat, absorb things like you put it in me and it slowly dissolves?

Yeah. I want maybe that to be like, I don't want to be absorbed, like, if I'm sitting on the couch or like flumped on the couch, I don't want to be eating the couch. So maybe if I could have like a... An orifice somewhere? Yeah, okay. Like basically like have skin. Yeah. It was quite hard.

our current skin all over like the body that was still quite soft but if I wanted to I could like like tense it and it was like oh you kind of become like anywhere what's that fucking thing called a blob? No, shut the fuck up. Because I'm thinking of a blob. Bless you. Are you allergic to thinking about a blob?

Sounds like you might be allergic to thinking about a blob. Oh God, you can't start. Stop thinking to the blob, dude. Stop talking to me. God, brother, it's my job. I got to blow me. I'm going to sneeze again. Yeah. Did you still think about a blob?

He's thinking about that blob. Oh, God, he loves thinking about that blob. You keep talking. I'm going to go blow my nose. Okay. Okay, wait. Stop thinking about the blob. He's not.

He's not. I don't know what he's thinking of. Probably a blob. Yeah, probably a blob. A blob with an enclosed casing of sorts. You said blob. I said blob. And then, yeah, if we could tense or something and then it opens up.

Yeah, we could just dissolve that. That'd be all right. Yeah. I like, and look, this could be controversial, but I am a pretty big fan of the shape of people. What about like, well, you could do like a blob, but in the shape of a person? Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to use an ex-man whose name is Glob. As a great example. Thank God we're talking about Glob and not the blog. Jackson might stick around now. Yeah, so Glob, Herman Glob, he's basically a skeleton man, but he's in case in a big you know, looks like a blob and you've got his eyes there

so you can kind of see his skeleton his eyes and he's got a mouth but it looks like kind of like an amoeba but in the shape of a human look being a blob would be good yeah just check maybe if I sneezed again

no being a blob would be good but I like the modular body because I like the idea of being like today I will screw my human head onto a dog's body and I'll get to roam around as a dog you can finally fuck a dog ethically your dream

I don't hey often we talk Can you fuck a dog ethically on this show? I don't think if I had a human head on the dog's body, that's ethical. That's just tricking the dog. Yeah. Okay.

But if you were a human head and a dog's body and someone else was a human head and a dog's body, where did we get the dog's bodies? Did we make him in a lab? I'm presuming that you have to. Yeah. Okay, I just wanted to check that there wasn't a man's body with a dog's head. No, no. Oh, that's awesome, though.

What if there was two people that had dog heads and human bodies and they had sex? What's that? I mean, that's an awesome situation where you probably get to see dogs kissing. I'm there with my dog body, watching my human body get fucked by a dog with another human body. No one's been cucked like this ever before.

Your Red Rocket, the biggest it's ever been. Shut the lap down. Shut the lap down. What the fuck is going on? Well, I guess it would have to be, everything would be human. It would just be the shape of whatever you want. So it would be a human heart, a human, like, all those kind of things would be enough to pump whatever, like, that they need for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, what would be cool about that is what you get to experience different animal hormones, see what they did to you. Once again, what I just said, you weren't listening. He's busy. He was too busy thinking of putting his head on a bear or whatever. I was imagining getting my brain pumped full of gorilla hormones. That's what was happening to me.

And seeing what that did to me. He said, it would be a human body in the shit. shape of whatever you want. You're going to keep losing it. This episode is going to be Jackson just constantly getting lost. We're discussing Jackson's dream. It'll just be like stuff like, oh yeah, imagine like a third ass chick and the Jackson's gone for 10 minutes.

Where does it go? If I have a third ass cheek, do I have two holes? Yeah, there we go. See, this is what I mean. Or I got it on my stomach and you can't tell, but I know it's an ass cheek, you know. Okay, what about? But in a modular body, yeah. Unscrew your whole.

ass sort of zone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you don't have to think about shitting all day. Then you get home and you can take the shit. You know your ass doesn't shit. Well, then you get the whole intestines, everything in your body.

So I'm saying, you have like different bodies to do whatever you want. So for example, yeah, you got like, oh, what if you eat with your non-shitting body? Yeah. Well, that's can only gum it up. For example, in the real exclusive room, we did at the beginning of this episode.

But you can find it plumbing pot on Instagram. You check the reels. There'll be a riff we did only for the reels that you're not getting. I could avoid that situation. Yeah. If I took every bit, I could go, I'm getting in my non-digesting body for the day. Yeah. Okay.

I start to feel the rumble. I go, ah, ah, that's a problem for tomorrow. At work. But imagine, or like, is my day. You know, that's a problem. But that's the problem For others, Horatism

You start to feel the rumble of like, I don't know, like diarrhea and you go, Ah, nope, nope, nope, no. That'll be tomorrow, that's plenty of time on the toilet not working. What you could do is you could just go, oh, I know, I have like my body for that

you think of the thing, it's always on the toilet ready to go. And you go, time to take care of all my diarrhea or you unscrew your head and screw up and screw on your diary of body. Also funny to come into work and be like, Oh, sorry, guys. I got a real bad diarrhea, and you go, are you in your diarrhea body right now,

at work? It's like opening the door to, like, the toilet, your headless diarrhea body sitting there. Oh, come on. Where is he? He's out to lunch. He's out to lunch. He's out to lunch, because I'm a call, Jack.

He's on his lunch bodies. He's got a bigger mouth. Bigger stomach. Oh, my phone's ringing. I'm going to ignore that. I'm on my break. It's lunch time. I'm with my lunch body.

And you're like, do I want to move? his diarrhea body off the toilet? No, I'll go somewhere else. I like that you've managed to weave your Reels exclusive riff into this episode. Exactly. Because otherwise, what's the point? You know, people, now they know about the Reels exclusive riff.

You've got to tell people. You've got to tell people. But you also haven't explained with the riff. Exactly, dude. Why would we? This is marketing 101. Exactly. You don't tell them what's behind secret door number two.

Yeah, now they go, damn. If I want to hear that Reels exclusive rip... Which is now a side call to this episode. That's apparently really funny because they're laughing a lot. I'm going to have to go to Plumbing Pot on Instagram and check the real section to see it. And maybe let them know in the comments if it was worth it or not. Yeah. And say whether you think I'm sick or not.

Or if you have any home remedies that might fix that. Hey, Jackson, great riff, not worth it, you're sick. Go to the hospital. That's what I want to see in the comments. Yeah. So anyway, I like the idea of modular bodies. I think that would be great, dude. Unfortunately, I do think that we are going to then have, like, a lot of bodies everywhere, just, like, mixing and matching.

Maybe that's not a storage is what I'm thinking. Bodies just become closer than. Yeah, exactly. But what happens when, I say, I'm in my sleeping body? Yeah. Okay. And I go, time to get into my work body. Yeah.

And then I unscrew my head. And then when my head is loose from this body, what happens? Well, I'm assuming is a little, is like a little bit of magic involved. Okay, okay. That has to be. I just imagine the bodies have juice. Oh, okay. So, like, having a...

Yeah. But, like, plugging your head into a body charges it. But I also like the idea of rather than screwing it off, it's just kind of like a... Like a USB port? Yeah, you're just like... Yeah, that's good. And then maybe instead of having, like, a sleeping body, you just plug your head into bed. Oh, that's really good.

I like to imagine that instead of a bed, I just have like a tub of like some kind of... Yeah, and I just like it cleans my head overnight. I just throw... Like dentures. Yeah. What if everything was a body and we just have a civilization where you just plug your head into shit? That's great. I take public transport it to work.

I just plug myself into the tram. Oh, imagine seeing like a tram? It's like a bunch of heads just plugged in, all go on to their worst. Everyone listening to headphones and phones dangling off. Just banging on the floor, but they're like, this is awesome. This is a great way to live. But the, but the pump, well, I guess the way it would work. You plug your head into the tram and then the train's like,

You're like, time to get off at my stop. I don't have arms. Stop! Well, imagine, they'd be like on this, because this tram would be designed, there'd be a bunch of really long arms, like attached to the side of the thing that would grab your head and then plug you into the... Well, because presumably I would also have a body on the other end. Well, yeah, presumably.

I have a body at the opposite tram stop that is waiting there inert, and then my head comes into Wi-Fi range. And it reaches up and plonks me on. Wi-Fi, that's smart. Yeah. Clever. Yeah, lever. And then I go to the train, you know, into work, like you head into the toilet, take your shit. Because it could be, like, you know, traditional stuff, right?

Yeah. So instead of, like, all everyone's body's coming to get their own head, it's just, like, these big arms grab the head, put him in, like, a little, you know, like a wheelie bin type thing. Yeah. And then they wheel them out. Then everyone's head grabs it. Oh, so they're in, like, kind of like a male trolley. Yeah. And you go, which one's my head?

The Wi-Fi's tick it in. It's like, oh, there it is. But it's funny because. From your perspective, you're in like a tub full of heads and you see hands reaching for it. What happens if someone else's body just grabs my head and puts it on? Well, you'd know that. And you'd just be that guy. Or you'd be that guy from, or you'd be that body.

You'd be like, oh, you know, and guess you've got Wi-Fi. You could text that person. Yeah, that's true. It would be like, hey, I think there's been a mistake. You've been a mistake. Jenny's his head. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I was wondering why my body is dumpy and strange. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. But I mean, in this scenario, why do we even need bodies? Great question. You know, like Dush you said. plug into the toilet straight. Yeah, yeah.

The neocortex now just has an asshole at the end. Yeah. Yeah, you shit from your brain. You know how people would say you got shit for brains or not you shit from brains? Well, what if we're removing bodies entirely? Well, here's an interesting question.

Okay. What is a human? Great question. No. I'm excited to hear this interesting question, quote, unquote. So, imagine a world where you're just ahead.

Wow, interesting. So you don't need to shit. Correct. Do you think you would want to shit? Well, you would need nutrients, so you probably would need to... No, but we're designing the human body. It doesn't matter. We can do whatever we like. But in a situation...

Will I yearn to shit? If my ability to shit is taken away from me, will I be upset about it? So imagine we enter a post-scarcity future, right? Where the human body is sufficiently designed. We're working at 100% energy efficiency. We don't need to shit anymore. But you could go to a place to experience shitting. Do you think you'd do it?

Have I ever shot before? Yes, in the past, before we reached maximum efficiency. Because I feel like as a new... I reckon after a while, you'd get what it was like. I reckon, yeah. I'm gonna go down to the old shit and parlor. Well, because we don't have... In this situation, is this just the head situation?

Well, yeah, either or. I mean, either where the head or we're a human being running at 100% efficiency, so we don't need to shit. Because I think that if I don't have a body, I don't miss the sensation of shooting because I can't feel my arsehole because I don't have an ass. No, but we plug you right into the fucking...

It connects to your brain and you get the feeling of shitting despite just being ahead. It's kind of like when, if you have in certain, like, medical scans or whatever, they inject you with like whatever. And they're like, hey, it's going to feel like you wet your pants. Yeah, exactly.

But you haven't wet your pants. Let you know that. But in this idea, like... You will feel like you've like shut your dax but you haven't shot your d'clock. You're just ahead, so you can't do that. Yeah. I think I'd do it.

I think like, you know, because like, you know, that's one of the shitting. It's not everyone's favorite. But it's part of the rich tapestry of life. Correct. Yes, it is part of the rich tapestry of life. And to be robbed of it is to be robbed of a human experience. When you're talking about me just being a head in the body,

while you enjoy going down to like, you know, the experience shitting daily, I'm going off to getting sucked off, like the getting sucked off factory. Fair enough. I'm going to go experience orgasmville. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you have so many orgasms. You know, sometimes you want to feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The sock off factory and I've gone to just the boob museum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man. And there's, oh, why not, hey, hey, boys, how was you? How was the boob museum? Oh, hey, do you know how awesome looking at tinsel days? Oh, I can imagine. Really awesome.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to the arse gallery. Oh, that's what I did today. You should then do like that to cap on your race. Oh, you're going to go pissed off. I know. How was your, what you did today? Shot. For hours.

I feel like I want to move where my head is stored. Oh, my neighbor's unwell. It's sad to go to the Boob Museum. Because it is a museum because they no longer exist with just heads, dude. Damn, yeah, I'm nostalgic. How was it moving? It was very moving. Yeah, a testament to what we lost when we just became heads.

We fucked up, guys. We shouldn't have done this. Well, I saw something the other day I don't know how true this is because I was thinking, well, what is a human? What do we actually need? One of the famous plumbing the death still maybe spreads misinformation.

Yes. And so the idea of what are we, we're kind of like a tube, right? Right, yeah, one end, mouth, the other end is asshole. Makes sense. Now, apparently, in terms of evolution, there is like, I... We started as a womb?

Well, are you team mouth or are you team asshole? And the way this is, once again, I don't know how true this is. I saw this online, And I went, that's very funny. I didn't check this, but it was in terms of categorizing stuff. And the idea, how they categorize it is, is when you are first being formed, you know, combs of cells or whatever,

this tube that makes up your digestive track is, are you asshole first or are you mouth first? Okay. And there's a certain, like, you know, a bunch of different species, which is like, oh, cool, it's like, this is how it's, you know, being, like, divided. Yeah. Most, like, anything with a worm in it, except, like, I think one, which is called, like, a green worm. All worms are mouth first, except one worm, which isn't. Okay.

And humans. are assholes first. We got the asshole first before, you know, that then that develops into mouth, as opposed to being, like, the tube of mouth. Do you mean, like, from an embryonic cell? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.

And so, again, it's kind of like, so, like, we're really just tubes. Everything else we are chuck on, that's how we're going to design this, you know? And so again, it's like, okay, cool. So what do we want? I mean, usually, like, we want to see. Yeah, yeah.

Now, our eyes, look, two of us in this room have glasses because they're a bit shit. So we need more eyes. Yeah, okay. And I reckon we need a ring of eyes. and then one on the top of our head. Because one, yes, we are predators. Yes.

We like to see and hunt and that's what we do. But we also are often getting stalked by big jaguar. And then the one on top of our head by big bird. Yeah. Big bird used to kill a lot of us. And I'm scared of big bird still. Also, if we have big eye on skull. Yeah.

Well, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, or fuck, we'll fuck off. Big coconut. Oh, yeah. So. To know that we've eliminated deaths by big coconut by simply installing a, Big eye in your head? Do you think we've got quick enough reflexes that we could jump out of the way

of a big coconut We've got to keep going, right? So there we go. And also maybe a bit like our skulls and bones, maybe a bit thicker. Yeah, jumping out the way. What about rubber?

So things rather than rather than being thicker so that you can just withstand or whatever, they're just like malleable and bouncing. Yeah. Things just bounce off. That's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like more goo things. Yeah. Goo is good. Now I was thinking in terms of jumping out the way. Not goo, but okay. Like malleable, like, you know, bendy bones. Yeah, okay. Get bandy bones.

In terms of jumping, well, we're pretty bad at jumping. We know what's great at jumping? A kangaroo. Ooh. So what if we had like, I don't know how they do it, but I'm assuming it's an extra knee maybe or bigger leg. They got some shit going on. But I think we should also grab their pouches. Okay.

You think the pouch is missing from the human being? I think so. Having to carry around like, you know, and again. Built in pocket is good. Or I'm saying having to carry, you know, a heavy baby for, you know. And again, I wasn't the one carrying that baby to term. Yeah. By carrying him around when he was, you know, like, born.

He's a heavy boy. Now he's a heavy boy. Yeah, he's have a pouch. It would be great. If we, like, men could also produce, like, lactate and produce milk would be great. So we could just share that breastfeeding experience. That's a good idea. That could be in the pouch, like the kangaroo. Yeah, yeah.

I worry about the eye on top of the head. Why? Well, here's what I'm thinking. So if a coconut lands on my head now. Yeah. You die. I get am knee here. I think I'm a race car driver or whatever.

Like Fred Flinds. But in a situation where I have a big eye there, I'm also headblind in that situation. Yeah, I guess you're also, yeah, top of the head. Close your eye. I wear glasses over the top, like a goggle on my head. Yeah, like I'm looking, when I'm going coconut hunting. Well, maybe we always made a mysterious helmets. Like a big fishbowl.

Okay, that's a good idea. Well, what if we're just, instead of a head, we just have one, a big eye? Well, there's only, it's only facing forward. I want like, maybe like a ring of eyes. No, but it's three, six, six, six, six skull. 360 degree eye Yeah but that's still I guess we're only looking at one direction

Yeah Yeah Yeah so you need multiple like Because then you can like pinpoint where it is Yeah Also ear flaps To stop bugs going in I was thinking so if I want to be quiet

Oh that's like self noise Canceling ears Yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah also I guess like I think we need A third or maybe of a fourth ear Because our ears are very good At pinpointing where things are

Yeah I just think it would be even better If we had one in our forehead and one the back. So it helps us triangulate. I mean, triangulate means three, but I want four. What if we just had... You want to quad-tragulate plus one.

Plus one. Better than triangles. Squarespace. What if we just have, instead of a head, we have a new organ, we call the all sense. Okay. So we can see, hear, taste, touch and smell. It can touch as well. It can touch.

Yeah. What does it look like? Is it on our hand? It's our head. It's our head. I'm imagining a cube, okay? A flushing cube full of holes. Okay?

And the holes expand and contract. And that's how we sort of experience the world now. I mean, you've rewarded yourself with something that I know that you've been itching to do this whole time, which is invent new holes. Yeah. Yes. And it feels good to put your fingers. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, your fingers. Yeah. Well, I was saying, like, also, we could improve our. sense of seeing there without the all sense, because then we could, like, see different colors, like the different spectrums. We could, like, uh, like, uh, like how snakes, how they have those events or whatever that they can see like the, whatever, I chuck them in there. Yeah. Again, you know, we could see a lot more. I want to be overloaded with sensory. I still think like that Paul Jennings book, we need, we maybe need, um, like a finger on our eyes, like, eye on our finger.

What are you looking? What are you trying to see? Well, over a wall maybe. Something like a dog is there. Then I'm about to like burgle this house. I don't want to get bit. Oh, yeah. For burgling. That's a good point. Underdoors. It's on a big pervert or something? Oh, for pervert reasons. All for your reason.

Breaking in. Yeah, see? Looking down drains. Yeah, see, what's down there? Oh, rats. Oh, nice. He is gross down there. If I got something caught in the back of my throat, what's there?

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Licking your own eye on the tip of your finger. I guess maybe we might not have, and we might need like a little. light emitting thing there. Wiping your ass is going to be awesome again. Yeah, you can see it.

Yeah, you know you're going to be fresh. I don't know if I want that. Yeah, fair enough. That's fair enough. Now you know you're fresh. We have a friend who went to an exhibition Yeah, uh-huh. In a, like, at a museum in Australia,

where they, and they were so hyped up to do this. That was so excited. Which is like, it was a series of mirrors. So basically it was like a cubicle. It's in Tasmania, yeah. Yeah, it was part of the, it was part of Mono, but it's not there anymore. This exhibition is a,

Mona is still very much there. It was cubicles you would use. There were toilets, so there were actual toilets, but there was a series of mirrors. So when he sat down, in front of you was a reflection of... Your bottle. Yeah. So basically your own asshole. And he was like, hell, yeah, I'm going to watch myself shit.

Yeah. And then as he started to shit, he was like... This is too much. He's like... He was just like, oh. Yeah. See, I remember he was like, it was disappointing because it was quite small. Oh.

Like the image was quite... No, the image was, because it was reflecting whatever. Again, my remembering of him retelling that story was that it was like, he was disappointed because it wasn't one. He was like, one, it was like, it was like very small, tiny. I think I remember him saying that it was like it became immediately confronting as well. Yeah, it was like too much. That he's like, wow, I'm really just seeing myself in a very vulnerable.

There's a reason that happens at the other end of the body. Okay. It's far away from the business. It's up here. So why don't make our bodies longer? That tube longer and it's like all the way over. To get away from the shame? Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good idea. We keep all of the fun and not-chameful parts really like... Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So what if we're like... Like that telescopic tube. Yeah. And then we just like, you know... We put that in the toilet and then we don't have to worry about it.

Our asshole is a telescopic tube. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we just bangle that. And then we just don't worry about it. So like, what if a prolapse was normal? Yeah, but it moves like a snake. It makes that noise? Taliscopper.

But why not? I think it's... should move like a snake so that you don't even have to think about it. Oh yeah, it's automatic. You're just talking with the fellas. It just comes out the bottom of your pants. Like how you can control breathing. Yeah.

It's like, you know, you have some control over that. Yeah, exactly. It's an automatic thing. It's just like it. It'll sense a hole in the ground and it's somewhere over there. I don't like it having some kind of, because I'm walking past a drain. It's got hands, eyes, a brain of a phone. It's a little guy.

Wars up your shit. It's really loud about it. And it's crying. I hate this. It's guilty. I have taste buds. I hate this and I hate you. That's a little shit guy.

Yeah. Okay. What's an interesting way to do it? Yeah. Yeah. I will say that as someone who finds people beautiful, it is really all of this is going to be a struggle to readjust to, I believe. Well, in the head world.

You just have a beautiful body. You go, I'm going out to the club, or I'm going to date, and you go, I'm going to put on... My boner body. My boner body. That's got the best boner I could have. Just like, yeah, I'm going to walk into the club of rack. Yeah, well, yes, dude. Everybody needs to see what the merchandise.

But also, say in a situation where you got a dating body, right? So it's a handsome, in-shape, body. You know, no blamishes, that kind of thing. Do you just buy these, or do you have to work on a body? I believe you buy them. Okay. I believe. Well, maybe it's like you buy them as like a stock standard body.

Did you hire them out, maybe? Hiring them out, it's funny. Because then you go to the, on the date and they're like, wow, you've got a really good date body. Yeah, it's mine. It's mine. Yeah, I own it. And then they go, well, should we have a second date? And you go, ah.

He's hired out of it. I could only afford for one date. Yeah, I don't think so. But then, do you think that you would enter, you say you go on a second date with this person? Would you be like, you know what? I want to see like the other bodies you got. Yeah. Because like this is obviously your date.

Let's do a second date. Wear your slob body. Yeah. Yeah. Your body for around the house. Yeah. Like your comfortable pair of shoes body. You go, okay.

And then third date, nude body. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I was also thinking like, I think I've mentioned this before, but something I found out recently that some people experienced that I never really understood

was that sometimes bread is very dangerous to eat. Yeah. And if you're eating, say, a very particular sourdough, not me. This is a wonderful friend, Jackson, and wonderful friend of the show, Adam. Yeah. They are often, maybe fearful. I got a weak mouth, dude.

Of sourdough, in particular. Oh, right. I thought you meant, like, bread is poison? And I was like, we're not fucking docks. What are you talking about? No, if I eat crusty bread, it will shred my mouth. Have you tried chewing it? Yes, dude.

I'm chewing the bread. But it's like a razor blade on the delicate roof of my mouth. I was eating tic tic tacks the other day. Okay. Do you brush your teeth? Yeah. Do you go to the dentist? Yeah.

No, that's not that lie. That was a lie. That was a fucking lie. We all saw the paws. We all saw the paws. If I had to guess, it was also a hesitation on do you go to the dentist? I reckon your last dentist's appointment was three years ago. I reckon more.

Okay, yes. Yeah, there we go. Piece of shit. You fucking lying piece of shit. If you've got good gum mouth, none of these things will happen. The roof of my mouth. My gums are fine. It's the roof.

When the... Take smaller bites. When the sourdough slices against the roof of my mouth like a blade. Or these tic tic tacks I bought with your raspberry and lemonade flavor.

Delicious. With a tic tic tacks you suck on it, right? Tick tacks are rounded. Yes, I know. Does your mouth bleed when you drink fucking juice as well? Regular tic tacks don't do this. But this one's so sour

that when I put it in my mouth and I suck, It leaves a little kind of like inflamed imprint on the roof of my mouth. Okay. And Adam's the same. And if you haven't tried big red chewing gum, you get cinnamon-flavored chewing gum.

My mouth will bleed if I eat one of those fucking chewing gums. So, having found out about our wonderful friend in their weak mouth, was, again, I'm still not sure this is not a prank. I don't understand how you're... Chewing gum made your mouth bleed. I still don't fully understand... Cinnamon chewing gum, okay? How one can be afraid of a sour dough crust?

Anyway, so in terms of, like, what if we just got real, like, good at chomping? Like, real good, hard teeth that could chew anything. No, no, no, teeth isn't the problem. When gums aren't the problem, Josem it, we need a hard roof of the mouth. Sorry, a hard mouth. The whole mouth area that we could chew anything. It's metal.

Yeah, okay. Chewing anything, that's fine. But I need a full metal mouth if we're going to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a metal throat, too. Yeah, why not? You know how, like, we're a tunnel. That was so hot

it burned my throat. I mean, that's, like, look. He got stuck in my throat and I couldn't get it out. The whole dumpling? Yeah. Like, Jesus. Yeah.

Stop fucking eating like a duck. Don't you remember this? Jackson for like a week and a half could eat properly because he got his throat with a dumpling. Yeah. Did you cut your throat or burr your throat? Well, there's two situations. Oh, okay.

Dude just remember when I cut my throat with the dumpling. Yeah. That fucked me a bad. soft or pleiots at least fried? No, it was, it was... I can't remember, it must have been fried. It was fried, but he didn't chew it properly. Well, in both these cases, it sounds like he chewed properly.

But the other time was at my friend's house when I was like 30, you know, whatever. Yeah. And we had, she made this, like, his mom made this soup with, like, dumplings, but like, you know, like bread dumplings in them. Uh-huh. And, like, not the, not the kind of Asian-star dumpling, like, the kind of... Anyway, so... Yeah, and I swallowed it. Sorry.

They're so fluffy. I swallowed it. And it got stuck in my throat. You didn't chew, did you? I guess not. Clearly. That's okay, this is 13, so you've learned your lesson. You eat slower now, right?

And he got stuck in my throat. And I was like, and it was so hot that it burned. Like my inside of my throat. Yeah. Because I, yeah. Okay. So having metal. If you just take literally with every mouthful,

just half, like three more choose. But that's who's got the fucking time? I think what you need, I feel, Jack, is if we could evolve a smaller mouth. Yeah, that would be good actually. Either a smaller mouth or a bigger throat. I think, yeah, the ratio is off.

Yeah, that's true. That's my problem. Or actually, maybe like I know, because you like the sensation of clearly swallowing food that's too big to swallow. I do like the sensation of swallowing. You do need a bigger throat, I feel. Yeah, I agree. But then I reckon you're going to get even braver there because the throat's biggest of the, like the, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. He needs to feel a little on the size. I'm going to do that like, he's a size queen. I'm going to do that like cartoon cat thing where I try and put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the, the skeleton, but then I just choke myself. Yeah. I mean, I saw Jackson eat, like, in the background of a cafe, absolutely scoff down a slice of cake today. That ever this morning. Yeah. It was like, last Monday. It was like two or three bites. Jackson, Oh, yeah, the reason it's funny is because I was sitting in a cafe, both times Jackson just looks straight through me. Yeah. Jack does really just low look through life.

Yeah. I'm not paying attention. Okay? But it was just really funny to watch, like, I could see, like, I was far enough away that I couldn't hear it. But I could see the way you're eating. It literally would have sounded like, oh, mm-hmm. Yeah, because I was also doing it because I had a couple of bags, and it was, like, in, like, a cardboard little box. It was like a cookies and cream cheesecake.

Which I've only had actually two bites of. The rest's out in the office. I'm excited to have that for lunch. It's a mac of cheese that I brought from home. But anyway, so, because I had too many bags. I like... It's gonna be good, dude.

That'll be my deserve. I'm glad to you didn't finish it, because I, like, because I, like, watch you take the two bites. I was like, damn, he's going for that. I was about, yeah, two bites of a... There's like maybe three or four bites left. But anyway, I had to kind of like...

I could do it in one. You know. That's obviously I could do it in one. Obviously. But this is, isn't that proud of me? No. Why would I eat four bites instead of one? Because I saw how you ate the other two bites.

It's like, it's like watching it. I know you weren't doing it for a bit because you didn't know when it was watching you because it looks straight through me. It's like, you know, your people watch and you're like, oh, wow, you're doing that around people. That's crazy. It'd be like, yeah, I'm jealous that you got to see like him in the wild doing that. Oh, it's easy. You just go anywhere he's going to be and just don't tell him you'll be there. He won't see you.

Or like the time that I was walking across the street, the crossing, and you were at the crossing, and I didn't realize it and you thought it would be really funny to honk me. Not funny. Just honked to wave. I hugged to wave. Like, honk honk to wave. Jackson, did he look up?

No. I noticed it. I got pissed off. He's like, he just head down, kept going being like, just crossing the street. Who's this fucking guy honking me? I got a green man. I'm walking.

I'm doing a bait in the fucking law. This guy is a hog. Leave me alone. Me and my wife, they'd be like, he just didn't look up. We know what he clearly heard because he accidentally styled the person behind him. I like the idea, though, because like a honk isn't always like, hey, fuck you. It could be trying to draw your attention to something in this situation. It was a wave, but it could have been like, hey, look up.

You just didn't. Or you drop something or hey, there's a speeding car about to hit you. Yeah, none of these things. And Sid Jackson's like, fucking this guy. Leave me to fuck alone. I'm doing the right thing. Let me leave my wallet in the middle of the road and get hit by the speeding car.

Don't tell me how to live my life, okay? I want to eat this donut in one and a half bites. That's another thing. It doesn't even look satisfying to eat the way you're just. You almost choke on every single bite. Maybe we need to evolve you so you, like, have taste buds on your throat as well. Well, that would be a good idea. Because Dush is always saying, oh, you don't taste the food.

Yeah, no, no, it's the drink. Food I reckon you do taste. Drink, I reckon you only get the aftertale. Yeah, I'm tasting the whole drink. You're not. I promise. It's hidden tongue. If any time you've described drink, I'm like, yeah, that's the aftertaste.

What? Give me a drink, and I'll tell you the taste of it. Challenge me. Okay. Challenge me to a drink taste off, and I'll tell you the taste of the drink. Okay, so your choice of alcohol is often, like, cocktails. Yeah. Or, like, a rum and coke.

Mm-hmm. And I think you like those because you can throw them back real fast. And I think that the appeal of those is not their dazed, but just the texture. Because a cocktail often has like a bunch of juice or whatever. So it's smooth. That is true. That is, I will say, okay, yesterday when I did grocery shopping, I bought a 12-pack of your cult. And then within about an hour.

That 12-pack was a zero-pack? Was this co-exciting with the thing that happened in our real exclusive? The real exclusive rift? No, but this may be worse is that I'd gotten better by that point. But was it because you were craving the sweet taste of your cult, or was it to prevent a future occurrence? And you're like, oh, my guts wrong. It was the sweet taste of your cult, and then as I drank them,

one after the other, 12 year cults, I thought to myself... Did you go 12 in a row? Yeah. There was no break You're just like Glocked Yeah Jam my teeth into the top

Suck them down But what I was thinking is I was like I remember back when I was on my Your Colchia Five was the really good amount What did you double it And five

Five was safe What number do you reckon you'd Thought about this? I think about six or seven I was like Oh that's right Five is the optimal. But then, you're at six or seven.

Well, it's too late. I've crossed the optimal. I must love another. Five or six later. I'll cross the event horizon. You were halfway there. You were one over, maybe. Cross the moral threshold.

Time to keep eating. Keep drinking, dude. Yeah, it was really good. What does you call taste like? It's a good question. Kind of like sweet. More sour. Sour.

Yeah. That's crazy because I would say sweet and sour two different flavors, Jackson. Well, it's a sweet sour flavor. It's like a sweet sour milk, but like it's not sour to the point where you're like yucky. Kind of like it has like creaminess that like kind of some nut milks have, you know? I reckon you're just trying to describe the texture and putting flavors to it. But the texture is thin. I can tell you that. It's thin milk. It's very thin. Yeah, but yeah, dude, your cult's good. You tried like the different flavor in your cults?

Yeah, they're okay. But your cold originals really, really warm about it. Have you tried making one of those, like? like infinite eucalts? That frightens me. Dude, he can't be trusted with a 12-pack. Do you think he should be trusted with a 2-liter bottle of your cult? Well, a funny thing happens

with your cult, where if I have that much of it at one... So, okay, obviously I had quite a bit of eucl in one go. Sure. Okay, so let me just reframe this. Hey, I have a problem with alcohol, so I have to go out and drink one slab. Yeah.

And then it makes me sick. So then I don't think about beer for at least a month. No, what I was going to say is that if I drank that much occult in one go, like in a glass or like out of like one of those big, you know, in some countries you can get like the big you cold. It's kind of disgusting to me. But if I have it in the little drinks. Oh, okay.

I thought you were going down the thing. Yeah, like for some reason if I have it a little, that little, that like does the trick. But if I go glug, glug, that's like kind of disgusting. Okay. Yeah. So I don't know what that's about. neckcloss? Yes, you do neck glasses of milk. I've seen you do it. Of course, dude.

Yeah, brother, he does. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I guess, hey, what about we evolve? Because, yeah, at a point, you know, we probably shouldn't be drinking that much milk or whatever. Like, you know, that kind of thing. It's like, oh, that's when you're a baby, you're going to get these calories in and you, whatever. What if we just never stop?

Oh. When milk is like, we need milk. We need milk. I love that, dude. Yeah. Because I love milk. I know. Yeah.

To have to come into work with like a two-liter jug. Yeah. And you've got your two-liter jugs too. You're going to keep drinking your milk. This is how we evolved. Yeah, rather needing water, you need milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn on the tap.

Milk comes out. You go, the tap smell sort of disgusting. Sue is a smell. The world smells horrible. Mm. Sour. Sour. I like that everything's just evolving to need milk, but our nose is still like,

Oh, awful. Like when someone, you wouldn't have experienced this because this is you, but like when someone drinks way too much milk and then they get hot, they've just got this horrible smell. Milky smell. But it's like, they're the milk sweats. Because it's not sour milk.

I know what you mean. It's like, it's kind of like a baby. Yeah. It's a baby, but yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like, yeah, yeah, off cheese. Yes, absolutely.

Why about we go four stomachs and then we can eat grass like cows? Oh, yeah. I was thinking like, yeah, we were talking a lot about, you know, external. bit, but yeah, we eat internal. But yeah, like, if four-star mix is good, I reckon two sets of teeth. Yeah, that's good. Like, you know, teeth and then teeth behind. It would be cool to be able to be, like, if I eat grass, that is going to, like, give me

the nutrients I need. Because then you kind of, like, I mean, obviously, we don't often find ourselves in survival situations, but just knowing in the back of my head, I'm never going to starve because I can just eat the ground. Yes. That's, like, pretty, you know. Like, four-stomics, maybe a bit like a long neck, so I can get the, uh, uh, The leaves, the top of trees.

Yeah, that's good. Honestly, you know what? Fuck gross, rocks. Let me evolve to eat rocks. That's where my, yeah, powerful teeth would come in handy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I've evolved to eat rocks.

You're never out of rocks. Because our mouths would be like, they would churn. What animal eats rocks to help digest? Alligators? Maybe. Dogs, maybe. No, I think it's... Is it some dogs do?

Some dogs eat rocks. Maybe. It's an animal basically eats rocks so that the rocks just sit in their stomach and they just smash around. Yeah, that's awesome, dude. What animal does do that? If you could evolve to eat anything, what would it be? What dog eats rocks? No,

what animal eat rock? Gold. I like that to eat. The idea of just being able to like buy it into metal. Yes, dude. Watching you eat a bike would be fucking awesome. What about if I just like had just like a stack of 10 DVDs and just kept

opening them and just eating the disc? That's awesome. What are you guys? What are you I got Shrek 2 for lunch today. Nice, dude. Jack was right. Crocodiles, alligators. Yeah, they got boxes. And I believe.

Some birds, ostriches, chickens, penguins. Also seals and seals. Do the rocks also act as ballast? Did they make down? There they go. Thinkamad.com. What DVDs do you reckon would taste the best? Shark tale.

Shark tale. Yeah, good answer. Yeah. Nice. Seafood. I reckon you all the Dreamworks animated films. They would taste really good. I like the idea of going to your house

for like a, We go over there for a fancy dinner and you pull out like the box out of diagnosis murder or whatever and slice off a DVD for each of us. Yum, yum, yum. Mmm, delicious. Yeah, we need like here. What's in like an abundance? Seawater. Sea water.

Sea water, yeah. We're drinking the ocean. Eat the ocean. What if we evolved to chew liquid? How are we doing that? Are you, so, is it like, are you? That's so funny. Just water pulling out of your mouth.

Gung gung gung gung gung. Yeah. Mmm, yummy. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Delicious, chewy liquid. Ang gung, gung. To me head, I'm like, are you freezing the liquids? Are you chewing?

No, it's the same. No, I don't know. I don't know how it works. The way it works is you just chew it. It's awesome. Gung, gung, gung, gung, gung. Covering the front of your chest. Soking into your shirt.

But you're so satisfied. Oh, yeah. Well, the other day it was, it was. bathing my beautiful little baby and he's figured out that he can turn the tap on and it's a fun line. Oh, that video is so... You've got to watch this video, dude. And so he turns on the tap

and he's so excited for it, but then he starts, like, putting his whole mouth over the tap to try to chew the water, I guess. He's got the whole tap in his mouth. Honestly, you know, like, probably, you know, if you want to be efficient, we should evolve to eat garbage.

You know, like waste. Not shit. Not human shit. I know, I know. But, like, you know, trash. Because then you got no clean. Well, eat the plate. Yeah, actually, that's good.

Because I was like, if you're only eating trash, you get no clean up. But actually, that doesn't make sense. Because if you can't eat the meal. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? If you're only eating leftovers, you've got to make the meal first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess just like, I think you could eat anything, really.

I think the whole, like, if we have a sort of a grinding, like, buzz saw situation in the back, like in our mouth, we're all just, like, a big grinding sword. Yeah. I'm just like, yeah, eat rocks, but other things as well. But what would be the problem with being able to eat anything? He said, we're fiddlers. Yeah, fiddlers and also suckoffs just out off the table. Someone's going to eat your penis.

Someone's going to grind my penis right the hell down. Chew cum. Chew cum. Choo cum. No, but like, I imagine, say I can eat anything. You spit us for I chew. I chew. Yuck, gung, gung.

But if I can eat anything, right? Yeah. I'm sitting here with chat. I gotta do something with my hands. We're holding a can. Yeah, I eat the can like a goat. Like we're doing an episode I don't have a can and I go,

well, time to eat the way up next to me. Because I'm just bored and you go, stop eating the way! We're trying to do a fucking episode. You're not eating the microphone? Fucking dude. Jackson, you know how expensive it is? You eat the microphone, we're going to get a new one.

Sorry, I was bored. I wasn't listening and I was born. I'm eating the microphone as we speak. Yeah. You're at the bus stop. bored, eat the bus stop, eat the bus. Eat the guy. Eat the guy next to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck it, dude. Yeah, maybe I'll evolve to eat other human beings. You don't need to evolve much for that. Yeah, the Terrier special. But yeah, be able to do it in one big bite, I think. Do you be able to eat a human being the same way I eat a cupcake? Or I'm bored and then I turn, I'll look at the businessman next to me and go, yeah, why not?

Oh, hum, um, om, om. Oh, you've become itch. You've become a fucking clown. You notice a businessman standing next to you today, but not your good friend. Yeah Or maybe I evolved to eat children's feel Like it, that'd be pretty cool Ah

Scared little kids You go Thanks kid Delicious Boom I'm going back to the sewer Yeah Yeah I'm not doing it like

It where I go like These elaborate Like based on their primal fears I just jump up behind them Go bha And you get a little taste Yeah thanks That's enough

It's like fun-sized feel Don't tell you A pair of as I live in the sewer Okay They'll come and get me They might stop flushing their shit That would be really upsetting for me. I hate that.

I feed of the fear of children and human shit. Why are you telling me? It's scary, right? I'm disgusted. Yeah, that doesn't mean no good, kid. It's no good for me if you're disgusted. What if I tell you this could happen to you? Yeah, what if I tell you?

I didn't do well in school. I was once a little boy just like, you. Well, now I'm disappointed. No, that's wrong. That doesn't do anything. And I push the kid over? Boo! What about now?

I'm upset. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck this. That we go back to the sewer and a human shoe. The Monster Zinks guys didn't have this problem. You ever seen that movie kid? Monster Zinks?

Yeah. Monster Zinks. Boo! Stop doing that. Okay. Mike Wozowski and Sol... Sully. Sully Sullenberger?

Mike's. Mike's Lugwaskies and Sully's. You know, it's a pretty good. movie. You know, Sally Sullenberger, like the guy from the plane, and his friend Mike Wazowski.

I don't think he should have gotten that award, kid. Can I go home? To make a plane wet, rain does that. Being on that plane, though, that would be pretty scary, wouldn't it?

Yeah. Right? You scared of what happened to Salli Sondberg? Who? Oh, fuck you, kid. I'm off to go eat human shit. You fucking cute.

Can you tell me which of your classmates is the most afraid? And where their house is? Don't call the police. Thank you. So yeah, I think Oh, good ideas. Yeah, all good ideas.

I think I had to rank them The Eat Anything guy Yeah, number one. I agree. Chewing liquid, number two, and plugging heads into stuff three. Yeah, I think that's fair. Yeah, I agree.

An honorable mention to the asshole that's a guy. Oh, yeah, he was furious. He hated his life. We evolved him as a prank. fucking gotcha Yeah So I guess Look let us know

At Plumbing Pott You watch the exclusive reel You can head to this episode And in the comments Let us know One was this good Two How would you improve the human body

Exactly What ideas did we not You know pounce upon That we could have I'm sure there were plenty Telescopic penis people are screaming Yeah yeah Should have spent more time

On the unscruable penis Yeah very useful Why if we were inside out? I'm seeing all the comments in the future. What if I had another set of knees somewhere? Maybe that might be good. What if we swap the mouth in the asshole so you sit on a cake to eat it? Yeah.

Shit from your face. Exactly. We're pants upside down. Like on your hands. Because that's where your asshole is. Yeah. What if most of our muscles were springs? Yeah, exactly.

So we get it. There's a lot of good options. And you can let all... Big nose for good smells? Yeah? What if we smell? Big nose. Dick nose.

Dick knows because you could, you know, you could eat someone out or suck a dick and fuck them at the same time. Perfect. As you can see, there's a lot we have not discussed. This is a truly bottomless topic. We could come back again and again, and we might. And if you want, hey, if you want to support us. So we could do another episode just like this. You go, these people need my money because there's more to talk about.

They just invented the perfect 69 on a wall. whim. Yeah. These men are geniuses. Modern-day Leonardo Da Vinci's. You can't support us by signing up

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It's literally right there. Hit that button. You just slam that button now to tell us we did a good job. That's the only way we know. Okay. See ya. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson.

I've also been Joe. I wasn't sure if we were just not going to do with that episode. Wait, wait, wait, wait, see ya. Yeah, I didn't know. He didn't know. He wasn't listening. He wasn't listening. He wasn't listening.

I'm not. Yeah. Fair enough.