Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Make One Million Dollars Using Pokemon? with Darcy Smith

Episode Date: June 28, 2026

The boys are once again joined by their idiot friend Darcy Smith to collectively lower the IQ of the podcast. We don't know what happened on the couch but it's powerful in it's stupidity. A lot of brilliant ideas are thrown out, Zammit wants to make a Chernobyl but good using only Charizards and a "device", Jackson believes the key to success is with Mr Mimes, JD tries to organise a convoluted credit card scam involving famous singers and Darcy just wants to know who owns the moon. Either way, give us 5 stars, kill Darcy in the comments, sign up for a Ditto Only Fans and remember to constantly check your phone for any and all Dogpile updates but go buy it now on steam.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe. And today we're joined by a returning special guest and a guy that last time came on the podcast was like, hey, they finally figured out how to make Plumming the Death Star better. Introduce a new, Dumber guy. It's Darcy Smith. Yes. Hear all of the people, Darcy Smith. Thank you.

You think I'm being cruel to you, but let me just quickly find that comment. I feel like there was unanimous appeal for me. Well, that's what I interpreted anyway. Like, I just saw a sea of comments. Some were various degrees of supportive, but I just saw the good ones. My memory was they killed you. If I had to recall what happened.

Maybe this is the afterlife. Maybe this is life too. Yeah, I reckon. This is your second go round on the wheel of Sam Sama. Another episode of plumbing to death star. Yeah. Well, hey, welcome back to the podcast. Today, we're a comedy pop culture podcast.

I asked important questions. Like, how would you make $1 million dollars using Pokemon No, it should be said as well This is, and this has happened to us before This is the guest question. This was Darcy's suggestion. Dude, I've got so many good ideas. Yeah.

Now, okay, I remember We did a Pokemon, we've done many Pokemon episodes And in one of them, and this, I'm just throwing this out there, this isn't my answer, but this was, I kind of did this once. If you'll recall, I opened the bicycle shop like people do in Pokemon, and I charged $1 million for a bike. I believe I was also threatening people with an anaconda in that episode to make sure they'd pay me in.

You only need to sell one bike. That was my thinking. One bike, one million dollars. I guess I have one question. Yes. Are we in real life now? I have a Pokemon or Pokemon's and I need to make a million dollars in the real. Or am I in the realm of Pokemon.

I assumed we're in the realm of Pokemon. I thought we were here in the realm of now. Well, you can damage delight. You can pick for your answer. Okay. Well, I was going to try and get a bunch of, like, Charazard. or other flame-based Pokemon.

And basically open up a energy company. Oh, okay. Where I get to send in this little lizard to warm up people's houses. And all it costs is... One million dollars. No, it's... Currently there's an energy crisis.

That's true. It's green. It's going to be cheaper than installing solar on your roof. Okay? Fuck off your batteries. You're kind of this nonsense, okay? This is true green

And this is true, like, you know, environmentally... Do you say, if they were like, hey, it's a lizard that breeds fire? So you chose the fire Pokemon to fuel the houses rather than the electricity. Okay, right. Your Charazard can come with an electric Pokemon as well. Like, back to steam engines, baby. You've got to offload this Charizade. Plus, if the other one gets too lippy, the lizard can burn it.

Yeah, okay, fair enough. Who's the other one? These get a piccature or something. I'm going to roll out Voltaud. No, Volta was going to blow up. Yeah. I'm going to be sitting in my house being like, I love how warm my house is. And then he'll be like, I'm about to blow up.

I guess. And then we could like maybe upsell them and get like another water base one, like a squirrel. So if there is an incident, wow, the squirrel will put it out. Cool it down. Why don't, I mean, if you're doing this, if you're saying, hey, Joel Zammis. One million dollars take a bunch of my Pokemon. Well, yeah, like, could you not just plug them all into your house? Yeah.

So when I turn it, like a Flintstone's house. Like, I was thinking of Flintstone house. But could I do this and kind of make a Chernobyl that worked? So if I could. What a sentence. Yeah. Could I maybe build a power station that's powered only by Pokemon? One million volt-olds.

Yeah. Wow. We've got to make it a little dangerous. Yeah, okay. People, this is, okay, I feel like that this could be a wonderful episode where all of us really risk are getting absolutely killed in the comments. Yeah. There is a working power station in the Pokemon universe

which is powered by Pokemon and it went bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but mine will be good. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'll build mine in like, you know, on the grounds of Chernobyl. And you'll have more Pokemon. Yeah. Now, okay.

The elephant foot but good is what you're saying. Charazade's foot. Now, a nuclear power station, and I know there's a lot more going on, but effectively it's, you heat up the water, The water goes steam, then energy. Why do we step straight? We're talking Pokemon and we go,

hmm, now it's time for science. It's just funny for him to be like, I'm having a nuclear power station and you see like seam coming out of the top of the cooling tower and you go, I don't actually, is he actually making nuclear power in that? I'm just heating up water. How many steam engines can you connect together to make nuclear fusion?

Isn't nuclear power? Isn't nuclear power point? Yeah. the whole point is all it really really what we're doing is we're just superheat and water coming steam and because of that what's how about i'm just going to throw a phrase out there hopefully that answers some questions splitting the autumn okay do that don't you don't you don't that's um that's a bear jose habit's nuclear power plant yeah we will split the autumn what i like when you're just producing heaps of steam yeah yeah

freezing. Yeah. I feel like a couple of Mr. Mimes could like, I don't know, create some sort of containment chamber. Oh, okay. And then you get... And then, well, that would just like, I don't know, maybe they could hone in on just like a kind of one atom, like with just like walls. Yeah, and then you could get like, I don't know, a bunch of electric Pokemon to just like zap that at him. Yeah.

And then the item splits. It's contained within a light screen or a reflect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what? You plug a cord. Like your PlayStation? Yeah, I thought the whole idea of a power. It's a very simple.

It's kind of, we're basically going back to, yeah, like steam. We're just heating up something and it's just like causing a reaction. And we're using that to then, you know, make energy. But where does the nuclear part come in? It won't be nuclear. Oh, okay. Okay. We're just back to electricity.

Yeah, well, back to Pokemon. Okay, that's good. And because we got all the elements. We got like, you know, we got water. Yeah. We then can just, like, cook the shit out of that water. Here's my question for you, Zadmin, if you were like, I can get cheap energy, but the cost is I have to burn a hundred dogs, say. Oh, we, why are we burning the dog?

Or you have to make a hundred dogs. Say you were like, you can power your house. This is basically a turn-spit dog. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So say I said to you, I said, I've got Jackson's power plant. Okay. And it looks like a nuclear power plant, but the secret is, it's actually a bunch of dogs running on treadmill to whatever to power your house.

And you found that out. Yeah. Would you continue to have your house run by dog power? It's very cheap. Well, no, it's not. It's one million dollars. You've got to make a million bucks. Well, yeah, yeah.

Well, no, it's cheap, but it's so cheap that everyone will do it. So then if it's a dollar, I don't go to do his power one million houses. Yeah, yeah. Minus the cost of starting up. One million? Hey, hey, you didn't say after cost. Yeah. That's true.

That's true. That's true. Gross. One million dollars gross. And you go, I'm 200k in the hole, but I did it. Well, yeah. All I got to do is. is, yeah,

what about overheads? Pay in for food for Pokemon? Yeah, yeah, you're going to... The power plant itself? Yeah, yeah, you're going to pay rents. How big is that power plant? Really got to be... For one million houses?

Well, like, the energy of zapping the shit out of... I'm sort of unclear as to whether or not you're sending Pokemon to people's homes. Or you have a power plant. Well, this is not thinking you could send them to people home. If you got, like, in one centralised, well, that surely's more efficient. Yeah. Hang on, look.

Charles Zammert's $1 million plan. Get a fire Pokemon and a water Pokemon. Invent the steam engine. An electric Pokemon. Replace a mechanical device with flesh and blood creatures. Okay, step one. Step one is I get a ditto. Okay.

All right. Yeah, great. Hey, why not, dude? Now, I need to find a fancy smart man. So I'm going to get the ditto to, like, honeypot him. So that he works for me for free. Then I get that gun. to design the devices.

So a man's fucking your ditto. But the ditto looks like a beautiful woman. And then she... Step one. Yeah. Get a ditto. Okay. Step two.

Get the ditto to transform into a beautiful woman. Step three. Red dress. Matrix style. Step three. Find the smartest man in the world. No, I'm so smartest man in the world. Okay.

Just find an engineer. Make that into your full of love with your... Hey, baby, what's wrong with your face? Ditto. Oh. Oh, why is she always... You're so beautiful. You don't have a need to talk.

I love your tiny little dot eyes. Exactly. We can do this over the internet. Okay, so catfish a guy. So he can catfish and then when he needs to meet... Dude. Yeah, when this person needs to meet this individual, we just send out Ditto. Hold on.

Make it dark. Ditto only fans. brigade. Easy a million dollars. Okay. We got here so quick. Where we go? We got here so easy. We don't even using our own fans

ditto, the honey pot, this engine thing to help me build the device. The step in his plan that I think is funny is that he assumes that because the man is in love with the ditto he's going to work for free? I'm blackmailing him. He's in love. When he find out he's a ditto

fucker. He's a I'll leak that shit online. Oh, yeah. Otherwise, you've got to build me these devices. And he goes, a steam engine? I don't know how power works. The devices, it needs to power one million homes. I have a lot of charis.

I was breeding charmanders, and they all evolved at once, okay? I don't like these fucking guys. You know what I mean? Fans is deeply upsetting to think about. It's there's so many ethical conundrums, dude. At least two I can think of. Because, like, again, I mean, I think it's a work. really well because they get you like, oh, we're not showing the face just for, you know,

want to be anonymous. Exactly. Yeah. So, you know, that's perfect. Really. That's a million dollars right there. I mean, I think that the world of Pokemon would be a terrible place. Yes, truly. His easiest way to make a million dollars as far as I'm concerned. Okay. Train a gangar up. Yeah. Ganga, hypnosis. Okay. Motherbug goes to say, go to a mansion, hypnosis. Yeah. Dream eater. Give him psychosis. Hey, he wakes up. He's like, nah! Okay, hit him with the amnesia. Uh-huh.

And now he's like, and then you're like, my house. This is my house now. Okay, sir. Why? This counts. That makes people crazy. He's an asset.

That counts. That counts. No. How do I make a million dollars? Your plan, let me talk to your plan. Yeah. Okay. Break into a millionaire's house.

Step through, steal the house. That step is not explained. You say, okay, we find a man. What are you talking about? He explained it so well. Find a man, drive him crazy. Separately say, this is my house. He tried him crazy, give him amnesia.

That's my, give him an amnesia. He doesn't, not his house anymore. He doesn't know anything. Oh, yeah, he says there being like, what's this? And you're like, ah, yes, my butler. That's my house. This is my house. Why are you in my house?

Yeah, I need you to sign these work forms. Okay. He's like, blah, which is really the deed to the house or whatever. Exactly. And now we have, like, you know, a wonderful butler. Then you get a million dollar house and this man is enslaved. basically. And you might be wondering what if he has a Pokemon there

to defend him? Or any form of security. And to that I see, to that I say, I guess I just have to be the very best that nobody ever was, you know? Like so, I mean, I got to start this journey. Confusing them is my question. Sycosis is my cause.

So, like, yeah. I mean, basically if he had a... I would simply just beat him in honorable combat. Yeah, okay. years of training. Your one gengar. Well, I mean, that's how you win the Pokemon game, is he just over-level one.

It's like a million. If you lay with you, Gengar, what if I'm there on the sidelines, but I have a bat. Okay. And while he's distracted with the fight, I just walk behind him and just, okay. Oh, I thought you were referring to some sort of bat-like Pokemon. No, no, no. Like a cricket bat, if you will. Right, right, right, right.

Well, then you get the house. If your strategy is. kill a millionaire, take his things. You don't need the Pokemon, guys. You can do that tonight. They're pretty lethal, though. Anyone listening could also do that. It's really easy.

To kill a millionaire? You just need a bad. We're waiting. A bad and a dream. The odds of you getting their things are slim. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to lie to your listeners. I would say slim to none.

Yeah. What that works, apparently? But would society be worse? Exactly. I wait, maybe not millionaire. Yeah, yeah. The billionaire, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't kill millionaires. Yeah, no. That's not a regular, like, on his hardworking millionaires.

Yeah, yeah. But billionaires? Yeah. Go ahead. That's it. Okay, so, okay, so, you break into a mansion, okay? You find a sleeping billionaire. You've bypassed the security. Yeah, okay. Ganga enters his dreams. Yeah. Okay, and makes him crazy. Yes. Okay, this is the part where I don't understand what happens then. Okay. Okay. Makes him crazy. Wipes his memory. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. He wakes up, unless we wakes him crazy. role played, I'll be the millionaire. Yeah. Where am I? What's going on?

I don't know. You just rocked up to my house. You rocked up to my house. Oh, but I'm in the bed. Oh, you were tired. Oh, so you put me to sleep? Yeah. Why don't I remember anything? I don't know. What's wrong with you?

I don't know. I mean, you, did I just arrive here? Yeah, I guess so. You just walk through the door. Can you call the police? I'm like lost and confused. You know what? Get out of my house. Yeah, you need to leave so. I think you need to leave. Who are you? Polygon, correct the computer records.

And get out of my house good sir. I will not be asking you again. Or I will call the police. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with what happens when people wake up after memory loss. Yeah. It's not what Jackson did. They usually wake up, panicked, and in an absolute friend. But okay, you kick him out.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm like, Matt Champ. Hit him with the one, two. Okay. He stepped outside, just already confused, and they gets his kidneys bubbles. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And then the next day, what, the house staff come back and they go, where's Mr. Beauregard? You're all fired. Ganga hit him with the hypnosis. Machia hit him with the one two. I don't want to see a single kidney unpopped, Machia. It's clobbering time. Different IP, but go for it. He used to belong to Mr. Beauregard, that house.

But if you go there and try to take it off the new guy, get your kidneys, he's fucking his house. Whatever, you can have it, dude. Could you do something by, like, having maybe some sort of insurance scam? Yeah. I'm thinking, because we have a lot of, like, you know, things that are very destructive. Yes. And basically, I'm thinking it'd be a shame if something happened to your house.

Oh, so you go and you basically do, like, a security racket? Yeah. Where you go, you come in with your, like, Machamp. Yeah. To a small business. Nice kidneys you have. Yeah, exactly. And you go.

There's a lot of shady people in the, you go. in the area. I like Samet's plan there where he's like, insure your house. Otherwise, those kidneys are in trouble. He started talking about like the machamp. Otherwise, I was going to burn it down with my like, you know, all my charm handed. So, okay. But he's got a machete.

Instead of going to the security racket. And the security racket works because you basically are like keeping these people under your thumb. You're going in, and I like this, the direct route. Good old fashion. Give me money or all booed your house down. Yeah. Go to three little pigs round. Lovely.

It would be a shame if it caught fire. Good old-fashioned extortion. Yeah, exactly. Extortion's good. I mean, you know. Insurance fraud would be work. You could get like an Al-a-Kazam. Okay.

And you're like, all right, bear with me, little guy. This is going to real, like, we got to break your legs. At-Lakazam. We get insurance. Breaking Al-Kazam's legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He takes one for the team. All right.

And he's insured. So he has broken legs. We go to the insurance company. His legs are all fucking. His legs are real fucked up. He's got weird legs. He's in a little wheel too. Yeah.

And he's like, Oh, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and he's got his spoons. Presumably he still has a spoon. Of course, yeah.

And then they pay out big bucks because he's never walking again. Al-Qazam, use recover. I guess if you're like... He's so bad. If you're like a high-tier, like very professional Pokemon trainer,

you probably would get your Pokemon insured. Yeah. Okay, so you get your Al-a-Qazam insured and then get it, you know, Hit by train or something. Even just, like, injured in the fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, uh, Pokemon health care is free.

Yes, that's a good point. Okay, what about? Okay, insure my legs. Okay, fuck the Pokemon. Yeah, okay, insure your legs. Jump in front of a train. No, no, no. Getting a million dollars.

Ditto. Yeah. We use Dino's legs. I insure my legs. I get a ditto. He's the ditto subs in. Exactly. Take Dino to the free Pokemon center.

Heel him up. I show the insured people the footage. I'm in a wheelchair. Yeah, okay. Show them the footage. See, my legs are real fucked. Obviously, to verify this because people do try and scam the system. We're going to have to get somebody to verify the Lido.

But prior to that, I would have, well, we don't get the Ditto heelchers. Yeah. No worries, sir. We'll go there. We then put one of the Mission Impossible masks. Okay. Smarto. And put on, like, of mine.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we go all the tests to the ditto, these legs are fucked. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. What does ditto not have that you have? A face? Bones. Yeah.

Can we make? Why did my head go penis? Probably. Four skin. Yeah. So, all right, time to check your bones, Mr. Sammet, and the ditto sitting in the weird chair is like, not talking. Do you reckon he makes those bones, or is he just a sack of good? He's a sack?

He's a mace. He's a macek? Could I'm like? maybe three dittos. And then the other two could be like broken bones. Okay. So you get,

you need, hang on, you need five dittos. Yeah. You need five dittos. One ditto for the torso to head. Okay. Two dittos for the legs

and then two other dittos for the bones in the leg. Yes. Yeah. And so we just make, we just make a broken leg ditto man. But if dittos can connect together.

Couldn't I make like a hundred ditto, like mech? machine with like Charazard blasters and shit. If you wanted to do this? Okay. I just have like, like steel exes, like steelix armors. Yeah, yeah.

Another classic scheme on plumbing the dust style. Step one, make a Voltron. Yeah. We make a hundred ditto voltron. And then, I don't know, just like do some team rocket shit. Yeah. Yeah, just steal picket. Like, take harvest, like, slow poke tails or whatever.

Yeah. Are they very like, um, uh, I guess like, prize-winning Pokemon, like a fancy beauty Pokemon that we could steal. Not really. I mean, there are Pokemon, you can take Pokemon to like, when you were like, oh, you know, healthcare's free, so you don't want to insure it against those kinds of damages. But there are Pokemon

like best in show. I mean, we could steal Ashes Pikachu. Yeah. Because I'm like, we're our team market stars. Yeah, yeah. With a thousand ditto, Matt. I think we need to brand our team. Team Jossi.

Team Jossi. He's blasting off again. I was wondering if I could train up a bunch of Mr. Mimes, take him to a casino, and just let him go. Let him go. Just let him get some Mr. Mimes or, like, put him in the stock market or something. What are they doing there? I don't know.

It feels good to have a bunch of Mr. Mimes of the stock exchange. What about, like, on Wall Street? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do some of the guys in your corner. Exactly. So, like, meowth, he's got that coin. Yeah. Like, can we, like, rip that coin off and use it on the slots?

He has a move called payday where he spawns. Yeah, he does do that. Wow, with Mr. Mimes and, like, one Miaoth, we could go crazy at the casino. Why Mr. Mime? It just feels good. Oh, yeah. Just get a guy in your corner. I just like, I'm going to get to Mr. Mimes around.

I think they're incredibly unsettling creatures in real life. Exactly. They're like clown, man. They're like if a clown was a beast. People are too focused on them. not focusing on our Miaoth scheme. Yeah. I don't know if I'm even really scheming anymore.

I just like the idea of going to a casino with a posse of Mr. Mimes. Because I like that people would look at me and be like, what's he up to? You know? Okay. He's just here for a good time. Exactly. Level 100 Mouth. Yeah.

earns about $200 per payday. Okay. And what's the P.P. on payday there? What is the second? So in Dungeons and Dragons, each round of combat is meant to be six. Yeah, that's right. So what is the Pokemon round? That's a good question. I don't know. Hypothetically, if it's six?

Yeah. Six seconds? Yeah, there's 20, 20 p.p, so 200 times 20. Okay. Someone? Bro. That's just a really funny thing to do. That's 4,000, right? I don't know. Could be.

Probably. I stopped listening. I'll say yeah. I'm fairly sure that's 4. 200 times 20 shouldn't be hard. 200 times 20? Yeah, it's 4,000. Okay, okay. Woo!

You mushroom up a d'adasi, reverse stupid man. Yeah, but you're quick about it. We just throw everything out real fast and hope that no one goes, hang on a second. And speaking of hang on a second, I guess like I just need to quickly, just because it just came up. I found what I was looking for. At the start of the episode, I may have introduced you by saying that people were really happy for you. Because you were a new dumb guy. Yeah.

But in fact, the comment. they got the most amount of likes on the post was Darcy is the greatest thing that's ever happened to plumbing the Death Star and then the reply to that, which got one more like, was the best way to improve the three dumb guy formula is to bring in a newer, dumber guy. Now, I said that a fan said that,

but that was in fact me. You're nothing if not a fan. Of your own way. Like, damn, this book goes awesome. I love this new dumb guy. Yeah. That's good. So, yeah, the fans love you. I was the rude one.

Yeah, exactly. That's good. So, yeah, $4,000 per Pokemon heel. Yeah. What about if I do like that? And how long does it take to, at the Pokey Center? Yeah. In the game, is that...

It goes, dun, dun, do, do, do. Yeah, is that an abstract... Is that like a montage? Or is that like... No, I suspect that that's how long it takes. I mean, I feel like in the anime, that's how long it takes, too. I feel like they're chilling in the anime. Yeah.

No, isn't the anime, like... They're all like... If we use Miao's pay day, and then we use all the bunch of Mr. Mives. Okay. I mean, I mean, I got it. Exactly. And they all are putting like money into like you know the slot. There is a slot machine in one of the cities. Hopefully there's more than one sloth.

Yeah, yeah. In Seledon city there's a lot. I kind of want like, you know what we have like the pokey's like a bunch of them. They go. Exactly. We park all the Mr. Mimes down. We gather with the payter happening. They just, you know, they could have like an underground base under me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, like, like, like, steam around. They keep trying to convert team wrong. But like, I also like, Are you so gross? So this is fine. Team doll. Step one to make one million dollars.

Buy an underground the base. Under a casino. That's obvious. Could you make a Mr. Mime's sweatshop? Is this, is there something there? What can Mr. Mimes make? You get them making shorts? Yeah.

Yeah. How good are they like, yeah, making shorts? No, I don't know. They're just very humanoid and I feel like there's something I can do there. Yeah, you think there's a key to success through Mr. Mime. But they're only really good at kind of. of miming. Yeah.

They can mind being in a sweatshop. Is there a way if I dressed them up in enough clothes that you can't tell them Mr. Mimes and I say they're my sons? Uh-huh. Is there something they? How do you monetize your own sons? Well, that's the next step. Well, hit me with it and, uh, well, can we work, you know, so step one.

How many Pokemon can I have? Six. Fuck. And that's obvious. Okay. Six. Having six sons isn't anything. That's obvious.

That's a man in his six identical songs. That doesn't be no good. Could you claim that they're six topplets? What if I try and do like a Jackson 5 thing with them? Mime 5. Yeah, they get them Mime 5, get them singing. But they're Mines. They explicitly don't sing.

It's like one of the things that they really don't do. You need like a jiggly puff, dude. There's got to be some way to make money with my Mime. Okay, how about this? Five Mr Mimes, one jiggly puff. Okay. Because then they just are lip-sinking. Oh.

Jigglypuff song puts them to sleep, though. Fuck, what's a good singing one? Jigleipov. That's it, that's all we got. The move, sing, puts Pokemon to sleep. Did it have to be near Jigglypuff? It doesn't matter if it's coming through a speaker.

No, if Jigglypuff sings her song through a speaker, but that's a thing I can train out of them. So I train my Mr. Mimes, I take the Darcy Rout. These are level 100, Mr. Mimes. I, every night I go to sleep praying they don't kill me in my sleep. You wake up as they Apollo No, is it Apollo?

Who eats his own son? Devalors their son Like what are the Titans Samson devouring his son? No, no. No, that's a guy with a hair. Yeah, fuck, who's eating his own damn song? Kronos?

No. Someone's eating their damn son. Guy is fucking, what the fuck? Who's the guy's eating his own kid? They're saying they're painting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's eating Zeus and shit. Yeah, Denghis eats his own.

son? Sat and devouring his son. Sat and devouring his son. Anyway, that's what Mr. Mime's going to do to you. Yeah, Mr. Mime devours his own son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I get... Mr. Mime devours his own dad. Yeah. Get them on stage. Jigglypuff sings. Yeah. But they're hopefully strong enough to withstand the singing. Not how it works. Isn't it fucking... It's not a EV thing? Even if they're... like, the audience aren't.

Then they'll fall asleep. Yeah, so here's my plan. Steal their credit cards. Yeah. We know we're talking, because that's where I... Okay, you organize a concert. Because a million... How many people do need for a million dollar theft?

One million people paying a dollar each. One million dollars with a dollar in their pocket. 100Ks, 10 bucks? Yeah. 10Ks... So we get a stadium. All the people. Yeah, yeah.

You wear earplice. Broad labor, whatever. That's 15,000. Yeah. You charge, you know. You can make it work. Well, okay. So I need to...

I hire a state. The MCG fits 100,000 people. Okay, great. Easy. I get the MCG somehow. Yeah. Step one, get the MCG. Yeah.

Then I go... Geng, I hit him with the AMN. What are you doing in my house? The MCG. Get out of my head. I go, we got a really, really big... It's Taylor Swift's back. Okay.

It's Taylor Swift supported by Ed Shearan, supported by Billy Island. Okay, we get a bunch of dittos, and the promo is like it starts at the feet and just kind of, it just stops before hits their face. Smart. Good trailer. It's at the neck, clever. Yeah. Okay. No heads trailer.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I go, the biggest festival in the entire world is coming to the MCG. Yeah. Tickets. 500 bucks. Okay. It has to be believable.

Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. 500 bucks, sure. Then I go, well, introducing the fucking. It's Billy Elish. No, no, no, no. Introducing the acts. Introducing the opening act today, it's three jigglypuffs.

Go. Okay. And then the MCGY blast. Glitle pop. Blast their song. Everyone falls asleep. Uh-huh. Unless people are wearing earplugs, which I've got to hope.

Yeah, yeah. Why would they? Yeah. At a concert? They're coming to hear music. Exactly. That would be crazy. And that is your plan when they're all asleep to run.

RON. That's so funny. The new many people. Like five and five. a little per ticket. The news will claim the biggest ever credit card swindle.

Yeah, good. How quickly are they going to wake up from it? It's so bad to be in the crowd when they wake up. Yeah. And you're rifling through

their jacket pockets. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. Jiggly puff, keep shaking. This is a dream. This is a dream? You're dreaming. Yeah.

Okay, it's a good strategy. It's a good strategy. It's not bad. Not bad. It's a good strategy. The only thing is like... Getting MCG. That's going to be it. Yeah.

And what do I do with a stack of credit cards that big? I don't know. You've already got the $500 per person. I reckon you've already done it. Well, actually, that's a good point. I just put on a fake show. I just knock them out and then I just leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it a Pokemon's that can, like, do false memories? Probably, ganga. You're gay. Yeah, Mr. Mine, mate. Because then we could just like alter memory. That's like, yeah. Hypnotice them. That feels like a geraci move.

Yeah, true. I'm fairly sure you could get. Like a, what are they? Like the Palkia and like Arceas or whatever. Oh, God. Yeah, and just like a creative new reality where you have one. Oh, now that's a good idea. You save Arceas or whatever.

Like, I'm sure you're doing one of the games. Yeah. You're like, what's up, big dog? Yeah. And like, you know. I'll give you one wish. And you go, yeah. Same reality, but I'm a, I got one million dollars.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. One million no more money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great.

Yeah. Yeah. Great name. A psychic type Pokemon that controls opponents' brains and alters their memories. Oh, okay. Okay. What's he look like? Show us this motherfucker.

Oh, it's this fucking guy. So then, yeah, we just basically, like, everyone who came to this concert had a wonderful time. Oh, it's a little euophogia. I hate that guy. Dude, grow up. What's wrong with him? Fuck you. That guy sucks.

He's so many of the Pokemon suck. Do you know, like, these... Shut up. Do you know Tapu Coco and Tapu Lelay? No, I don't. Exactly. They suck. Show me tapu Coco.

I bet he's awesome. I'm Darcy, guest in Plumming the Death Star. My favorite Pokemon is growloth, a dog. Oh, yeah, you love growlis? Rallus is all right. You know, like, okay, listen. Graliths, what's wrong with a Gwales? Fuck you.

No. You want, have you seen a dog? Do you have... You love a dog. Yeah, that's where you picked out of all of the creative creatures created by the fucking game freak and you go, the dog.

That's you. It evolves into like a mythical big dog. It evolves into a bigger dog. That's cool. You ever seen a big dog? Oh, shit, dude. Bill, he's like Clifford. Pick Clifford then.

Fulfed out of... Oh, Clifford, dude. He's too big. Clearly, Clifford alone. It's big because it's loved too much. That's stupid. That's stupid, dude. His size is inconsistent, and I respect that about him.

If anybody about Clifford should get bigger fueled by age. No, he's a lovely dog who feels, it's filled by love. Everybody's a lot. He's a pillar of the community. Yeah. What do you ever done in the fucking Clifford? He's eating those fucking family out of houses. And they love that.

He must do huge shit. Yeah. And who wants to clean them up? Yeah, the little girl or whatever. Probably the community. Probably the council. It's quite wild because he's a lovable individual. Fuck Clifford, fuck ground.

No, fuck you. They're the sickest. Imagine what, like, riding around. A dog on fire? Yes. That's what you've picked? Yes. Not even on fire.

It's just a hot dog. It's red. That's it. That's stinks. And now you go up the hot dogs. What about the fire pig? The fire. Pig at least kind of is freaky-looking.

I like the fire pig, isn't right? My pick turns about wrestling firepower. Yeah, he's sick, did. No, the evolutions get weird. I like the first guy, like when he's in piglet mode, but then he's like... What do you love? Are you, you know, meowth? When the mouth evolves into Persian, a cat.

And I don't like that. Fuck yeah. No, that's weird. Yes, it's got normal. Yeah, that's great. The least Kijy evolved into a bodgy. Yeah, I love when I get a normal bird. That's the bad.

That's how you sound. That's how you sound. right now. No, that's fucked up. Kill him in the comments. Defend me. I hate this. Yeah.

That's all right. Rise up against your oppressive overlords. Could we? Us? If anything, we're like negligent dash. Give them a positive review and defend me in it. Yeah. Yeah.

Do that. Five stars. Darcy is right. Darcy is cool, I guess. Yeah. Out of every Pokemon. Yeah. What?

Name a better guy. Lodad. Mutatat. What the fuck is Lodat? Lottad fucking rules, dude. He's like a weird little worm. Ludo. The best Pokemon there are.

Okay, here we go. Annihilap. Yeah, dude. Are you fucking kidding me? Who's an Ape? I'm guessing he's an ape. Okay, Annihilate is an evolution. Yeah.

Primap's evolution. Yeah. And then becomes back as a ghost fighting monkey. No, that's sick. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool as fuck. Yeah. Come on a fucking red dog.

Anylap's probably is. is my favorite Pokemon. That's cool. That's cool. Use rage. Hey, use rage fist 20 times and then level up your primate.

Yeah. So angry he dies. You know, I got a beep with a certain type of Pokemon. Okay, let's hear it, dude. Is it Zation? He's like that dog

with the sword. Yeah, okay. My beef is like, is the sword part of him? No, he just found it. Yeah, but then like, what does that mean? Farfetched and his leak.

Yeah, does that come out of him? No, he finds one. He just have that. He picks it up. So you can find a far fetch that just doesn't have it. Yeah, you can find a leakless farfax. But then the Zatians, like, fucking, he's just a dog. Yeah, you should love him, dude.

I mean, I respect the dog part of it. And then his mouth is occupied all the time. He's got a sword in his mouth always. Yeah, because if he dropped the sword, someone's going to take the sword. Exactly. The sword seems that's important. Yeah. I think that it's ridiculous.

Well, I bet you fucking hate the ice cream, Pokemon. Oh, cr. Oh, cream... No, it's vanilla ice. Vanilla ice. Oh, I'm actually so sorry. Vanilla ice fucking rocks, dude. Ice cream, the Pokemon?

Yes, please. No, I think that's whack. Vanil light. Vanilite. Great Pokemon. How much money did you spend? You recently came back from Japan. You bought only Gralith and Arkanaean Pokemon cards.

How much did you spend? How much money did I spend? I can't share that information. That means it's worth million dollars. I'll tell you what. I got some crazy deals. I found like a Pokemon card that's debatably $1,000 for $100. Hey, that's pretty good.

Good bargain. One Pokemon card, $100, good bargain? What, if it's worth debatably a thousand? Debateably. Yeah. And that thousand is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that center. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That hypothetical $1,000 really overshadow is the real $100.

I saw it listed on a shelf there for $2,000. I know I could sell it for $5,000. $500. And it might be, like, valued at a thousand-ish. Yeah. Okay. All I'm hearing is, like, a lot of things coming up to us. It's big.

It's big for a guy like me. What I'm hearing is for a guy like you, I saw a photo of the Pokemon cards you bought, and knowing that one is $100 makes me just run a couple of quick numbers in my hand. Yeah, I, like, kind of, I lost myself. What do you want me to say? I have committed devastation to my finance. but what I've discovered self-control

Yeah, who among us? But what I've discovered is they just appreciated value So it's like I've just taken all that money And then put And I've invested in it Yeah, yeah, yeah

If I had done this 20 years ago I would be, I wouldn't be here That's for sure No, no, let me just say you Basically, it's better than a bank is what I'm doing. I'd be like, I'd be somewhere sick Yeah, dude

You know? Be in the fucking poker nose Exactly Not on this bullshit I'd be training my ganga Yeah, dude I'm just having, sorry Just like a bunch of wood poker

Come on. Yeah. I'm thinking the guys who are like a big palm tree. Okay. And we make houses out of these. Cheap affordable houses. I just think they're full of blood. They're a guy.

They're a man. Yeah. Yeah. But they're also a bit wood. I think if you chop into an executor or whatever, he will bleed blood on you. But aren't you kind of a little bit wood? Yeah. No.

You're hearing this? I mean, what are bones, if not? I got distracted. Yeah. Bones could be calcified wood, maybe. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true either, but I did just get distracted learning about

the Pokemon trading card bubble and how it's bursting. That doesn't sound right to me. He didn't say bursted, though. Let me just the value. All I've seen is it's going up rapidly. Yeah. That's a good sign.

That's a good sign. You look into prices in 2021? I'm just saying they're just going up and up and up, baby. There's no ceiling. That's it. To the moon. Honestly, it's hard to believe that it might continue this way.

It's like, it's like, I don't know. It's kind of like too good to be true almost. Now just to jump back at the other question, the other topic that just got thrown out there that I got tagged back into while I was doing some learning. Woods are bones. Well, Zambi was trying to chop down an executor.

And I make cheap affordable houses. Yeah, because it gives it a housing crisis at the moment. Yes. So we make cheap affordable houses out of our Pokemon. You know, there's a lot of Pokemon out there with different attributes. I will say, look, you've lost me here, but I'm going to help, I'm going to help guard you. Sort of. Thank you.

You can make cheap affordable housing, but not out of Pokemon by using Pokemon, but you do it in a way that I don't think you expect it. You know, one thing that a lot of ground Pokemon are good of doing, digging holes. Okay. Okay. Everyone get in the hole. Houses. Houses. Okay.

All right. You can start the cowsing market. All right. Sick a limit in your house. Try a cow. Okay. In Pokemon, golden silver, there's hidden bases. Yeah.

Those are caves. All right. So we got like, okay, we can model this out of Kutapiti. Okay. Coupa Piti, yeah, yeah. So we've got basically, they have underground housing. We just do that where we are and we just, you know, tunnel under. Because, again, there might be all these patches of ground out there.

All just like that land's worth money. But, you know, can they charge me for the? digging under shit. Okay. So you're... When you buy a block of land, how deep do you buy? You actually don't... You don't own it all the way down.

There is a limit. In Australia especially, the government owns... It's not as much as you want. How deep is the land I own? Yeah, but there's a gap where if you get too deep, the government owns it. And it's government land. Okay, but is there a pocket where it's kind of...

Who owns the moon? What if we... Hang on. Hang it's an undergrad... I believe currently... Why would you come on, Darcy, I get on this side? Normally I'm there, but you come on the show and all of a sudden I'm being like, fucking out.

I think it's really interesting that you can't answer the question. Who owns the moon? Who owns the moon? My new beautiful coast host has a great question. Who owns the moon? Who owns it? I think currently maybe the Americans put a flag. No one owns the moon.

But currently, I don't know. It's debatable. Yeah, okay, okay. And let's just, let's pretend that I hit you with an answer. No, that doesn't sound right. Yeah. So, yeah, I would love to know where. What's our next step?

No one owns the moon. It's literally there was like an agreement where it's like, we can't, we can't own the moon. What if the moon, like, because I'm just saying, if that, like, all right, the government owns the Earth. Okay. That's right? Yeah. I don't. Am I, is that what I'm getting?

I think it's underneath there's a certain layer. More or us? Yeah. I think it's a certain layer. I was thinking, because if we were to dig and then we put all that like earth on top, therefore making underneath lower or higher, depending what we need. This is what I'm saying. Take the moon.

Put that on the earth. Is that like a big, like, tumour? Like, do they own that, does the government own that now? So we're bringing the moon to the earth. So put the earth on the moon. No, no, no, no, no. You've already made a mistake. You've already made it.

What do you think we're doing, stupid? What are you, what are you trying to do? Is this what it's like for you all but I? This is just a normal day at work for me. You dumb fuck. This is insane. I'm actually offended. Okay, so step one.

Yeah. Yes. Put the moon on earth. Surely, Google if there's a guy that can do that. Surely there's like, ah, guy. There'll be a problem that can move the moon short. Like, you two could probably give it like a nice. Okay, so yeah, okay, we put the moon on the earth.

Yeah. Where? Mew, easy. Where's the moon, where on earth is the moon going? I mean, just like international waters, perhaps. In the sea? In the sea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your next question.

Yeah. Good moon in the ocean. Your next question! Yeah. The moon's in the water. Yeah. What next? It's, then there's like a, that's like, that's a wind.

We got a new continent. I'm doing. Dude. Land in, like, what? You put a, like, a rock in the water. That's just land, brother. You know, you've never seen land? That's just every continent.

Bro, have you seen the Superman returns how Lex Luthor makes a bunch of new, like, places for real estate? Okay. That's what we're doing. Beachfront properties. Get a bunch of Pokemon. They'll magic the land and grass and shit. Okay. A couple of questions.

One, displaced water, where's it going? Yeah, yeah. Other places that we aren't. Not my problem is what I'm. here. I wasn't even worried about that. I own this shit. I own this shit. You own the moon now. Well, that's what I'm saying.

No one else. You wouldn't answer. Because not five minutes ago, he said, if you put the moon there, does the government own it? And then I was like, I need to clarify that. And then I said, what's your question about the moon? And I just got blank stairs. No, if I remember correctly. If the moon is known by no one wallet in the sky, if it's now on the land. Yeah, you can't.

No, you can't leave it up there. and then warn it when it's down here. Exactly. That's either mine. Is it yours or is it mine? It's been discovered. It's ours now. The power on that couch.

It's so hard to fight again. The Force of the United Front of the dumbest guys. It's so hard. This is genius. Exactly. I'll have a giant landmass and we can do whatever we want. We can build that power station. We've got the power station.

We can have the Mr. Mime with the Lotto. We've got that smartest guy on blackmail. Yeah, that's right with the mind. So you've created million dollar topio. Dude, we might have like, I don't know, two, three million dollars. Yeah. Maybe four, I don't know. I know, I know you're going to want to, I know what's going to happen.

But just, let's, we just get a walk through this. Okay, so step one. Uh-huh. Take the moon. Yeah. Landed in the, no, no, no, no. Yeah, step one. Yeah.

What we need is a. Correct or incorrect from you guys. Not easy. Yeah. Not how you're going to do it. Just like correct? It's like a plan. Steal the moon using a Pokemon.

Yes. Land the moon in the ocean. Yes. That forms a new land mass. You go, the government owns everything on Earth, but we own the moon. Yes. Because you didn't want it what is in the sky, but I did. Yes.

Then you're going to ignore the global devastation that causes. That's a problem. Yeah. Correct. It's not going to affect where the moon lands. Correct. Then you're going to build on the moon. Correct.

And then you're going to, you know, get that guy from the palace area or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Where's the money? What do you mean? All our plans we had. It's going to happen on the moon. Yeah. Because we own the moon.

Where's the money? Where's the house? Land is money. Land is money. The earth is experiencing a crisis unlike anything. Exactly. The earth is, but you know what isn't? But you know what isn't?

The moon. And you know what? We own the moon. You cannot sell land to people who have drowned. But the people who haven't have no money. No, no, they've got cash because they survive because they got money. I would say, okay, here's my prediction. Early prediction.

Jackson's drinking. The anger is it heard someone sunk a beverage out of a can. I pose to you that if the moon landed in the ocean on Earth, from the moment that, from the moment That happens. Yeah. No matter where you are in the world, money no longer is worth anything. So money is not worth anything.

So if I have a dollar that's kind of like, you'd maybe inflate, could that be worth a million dollars? No, no, no, no. What I said worth anything, it's not worth anything. I also suspect if in a situation where you've caused global instability

for the rest of the earth and you have the only safe bit of land. Yeah. You're about to be out war. I feel like we're about to be rich. Yeah. And if we have our own land, we could, you know, we could make a own currency.

Yeah. It could be like one million of our own dollars And they could be worth like 10 of the normal dollars, you know? I guess they've outworded us. They've done it. Okay, the perfect way to get a million dollars using Pokemon Is to use Pokemon to grab the moon, land the moon in Earth. Claim the moon is yours because no one else wanted it.

You've started a new country, therefore you've started a new currency. You print one million dollars done. You've ended the world, but you did it. But you're one million dollars richer in your money. If you come speak to skeleton, me and Skeleton Jackson, you stupid motherfuckers, we did it. We don't say anything because we're dead. We're bones. Our bones under the water have been eaten by crabs.

That's what's happening. I can build my house. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You take my bones to make a house out of wood. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Hey, good strut, guys.

Hey, I think they did it. I did it too. Well, on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've been Joe. I've been Darcy as well. And Darcy, I believe, speaking of big moves that you've been making, it's not always stealing the moon.

Sometimes it's releasing a massive update to your critically acclaimed video game. Yeah, exactly. So about this week, depending on when it goes live, it's live, all right? We did V1.1 to Dogpile, which is in like, I don't know, eight languages. It's in, like, Japanese, Chinese, French, German. and the others that we've done. And we've also announced that we're doing mobile and Nintendo Switch soon. Whoa.

So it's hot off the press. There's heaps of new gameplay stuff to check out. I know that a bunch of people that watch or that listen to Death Star and thumb cramps and thumb cramps that like have played and supported. So please check it out. And I guess my mission, my call to you is find someone that doesn't speak English and tell them to play dog private. Even if you know, even if you don't know them.

You're having to take a trip to little Italy. Yeah, exactly. I like it. So you've got to find someone that doesn't speak English which speaks one of the other seven language. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's huge.

Check out dog pile on Steam, but also keeping on it from phones and the Nintendo Switch store soon. That's huge, dude. That's it. And it'll be free on phones. It'll be free. Free on phone? Yeah, well, just to like, just to play, like,

so you can check it out, basically. Yeah. Sick. Well, check that out. Dogpile rules. Yeah. You got phone. Yeah, you can do it right now.

Get your phone? No, no, no, no, no right now. No, no, no right now. But keep an eye out for it. Why is no one listening? Get your phone, go, okay, dog pot hasn't come out yet. You're like, all right, go to your calendar. Set reminder every day.

Check for dog pile. Actually, that's not bad. I just spill coffee on my leg, damn it. Every single day, if you put in your calendar, search for dog pile, your essay years would go through the roof. Exactly. And if you all get the game, then I won't have to try and steal the moon. Yeah, so, I mean, you're doing humanity a favor.

So ignore what Jackson and Zammett said about trying to get it on your phone right now. Go to Steam and buy it normal. Yeah, buy it normal style. It's cheap. It's like 10 Australian dollars. And then in the future. Yes. Or currently, keep checking for your phone.

That's why you have to do. The calendar. Thank you so much for joining us, Darcy, for another normal one. Exactly. Thank you. Remember if you want to support Plumbing the star. Five stars. Five stars.

First of all, give us five stars of the podcast platform. you're listening to this on. But also you can sign up to the bad brain boys to get access to a bunch of bonus content which people who don't pay don't get. You can feel a little superior to the rooms. Exactly.

Get access to the Discord, discounted live show tickets. It's a bunch of fun stuff. But mostly you'll be helping us continue to make this Godforsake for sake of my God. It's beautiful. This is what God intended. That's well, yeah, that's what I'm hoping.

I need a bigger mental health care rebate. It's crazy. Being on this side, dude? Dude, you just got the Joel Dushar experience. It is awful. I miss it in dumb shit, not hearing dumb shit. I think, look, I mean, it's rare to run through a greatest hits moment of the podcast that just happened at the end of the podcast.

But I think what will go down is my favorite moment of this is when you looked Darcy dead of the eye and you said, what's your next question? And then he looked straight back at you, slack, Jordan said, yeah. That sounds about me. And then you went. Yeah. I'm vibrating with. you're right now.

I'm going to vibrate out of my chair. I'm so angry. Yeah. That was good. That was quite a moment for me. Well, see you next episode, everybody. Goodbye. God damn.

Bye.