Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Market Hulk Blood Soda?

Episode Date: June 8, 2025

remember that hulk blood that got into stan lee's soda that one time from that movie we've all seen from the last 20 years or something? Well basically, how would you sell it?Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the most important questions like How'd you market Hulk blood soda? So in the Incredible Hulk 2008 2008, great movie. Hulk's blood gets in a soda batch. Yes. And that batch That's where Hulk's hiding after the

He's hiding in the soda batch. He's hiding in the soda factory. Because maybe the first Hulk with Eric Banner maybe happened. Yeah, or a different Hulk happened. Either way, his blood gets into a batch of soda and it gets shipped out to the great American nation. Yeah, and Stanley... Famous victim of elder abuse Stanley. He drinks some and he starts to Hulk out.

Now, let's imagine boys we work for this soda company. Now there was some discussion. I think that this is important to note. Yeah. There was some discussion about what happens to Stanley when he drinks the Hulk soda just before we hit record. Cause I had it in my head that he drinks it, drops a bottle and just dies. Xamit was like, no, he turns into a halt yeah or like maybe like we're not really sure what happens Jackson the only person who didn't watch any of the footage just confidently threw out a food theory there that he turned into the

whole yeah yeah yeah we don't know also claim that maybe he died from radiation poisoning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people online are saying he just got radiation poisoning and died. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's the dire- We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. What we do know is that Hulk blood

is basically like magic juice because it can turn other people into Hulks. And we see that with She-Hulk, and we see that with the leader. And abomination? And abomination, they use his DNA. To think? Yes.

Okay, I'm very confident. Doesn't matter, not important. It's a bit important. The leader and abomination and abomination they use his DNA. Yes It is important for like again, I get like look I understand for your she definitely got Hulk blood. Yeah leader got what was drifting his head I Wasn't it just gamma? I've no doubt in my mind Jackson's already working for the marketing department The things, they do not matter What matters is What matters is drinking Hulk soda The point is, Hulk soda will make you smart

It'll make you smarter, stronger, faster, better I betta you, greener you I betta you, a better, better greener brighter tomorrow drink Hulk soda Right am I right people it's the only drink that will change you yeah all these other drinks So they they they put you know they keep saying that they're gonna give you like 12-hour any yeah They're gonna 48 hour whatever man all this like it's got Gavani. Yeah, it's got like you know all this all the vitamins minerals 100% pure natural irradiated gamma blood Fucking Hulk now sir

Yes, yes the abomination gets super soldier juice or something similar and then Hulk blood okay Okay, he does actually inject himself with Hulk with with banners blood There you go Hulk blood man. It's important the leader is There you go. Well, there you go. Hulk blood, man. It's important. Because the leader is taking the, it's the same juice that goes in the leader's head because the leader has Hulk blood. There you go. Now, are we mentioning, because Hammett's very gung-ho about it, and I'm not against

it. In the marketing for Hulk blood soda. Drink a, drink a, drink a gallon of Hulk's blood. Doctors recommend one Hulk blood juice per week. Hulk soda become the Hulk. Doctors recommend one gallon of Hulk blood. How much is a gallon in liters? I don't know.

Or is it a gallon less than a liter? I think a gallon less. Or is it like 500 ml? Because I feel like a gallon of soda is not, like it's crazy but it's not that crazy. Is it four liters? Gallon to... How many gallons in a liter? I don't know three three points. Okay, so that is

How much blood does a human body now well okay now we see I'm pretty sure again memory hazy, but the amount of Hulk blood that goes into a batch of Hulk blood soda Hulk blood that goes into a batch of Blood soda. Oh, yeah, I want to say it's one drop One drop we're recommending for the The human body has five liters of blood on average. So one drop is 600 mil. Yeah Bottle of soda. It's not it's not a 600 real bottle of soda. It's probably pushing like 350 Yeah, so I saw glass and I can't go yeah sure you're right. It's a smaller bottle

Okay, so one drop of blood maybe we'll go we'll go several drops. Uh-huh again. I don't really remember the scene But we'll go look I think I think it's one but let's say three. Okay. I'm saying four lead Yeah, yeah for 300. No doctors recommend that turn leaders that turned I think it's one, but let's say three. Okay. I'm saying four leaders. Yeah Doctors recommend leaders that turned Old man into something noteworthy that a general was like we got to investigate gave him Gamma sickness. Yeah, we know it they just call it gamma sickness. Now. We don't be turning into a good you could be turning into a sick And I often do yeah, we turning a whole into a Hulk most likely though. It does mean Going to hospital the radiation poisoning. Well, they do say it's like he got it's like a little Extra kick more than he was hoping for. Yeah, but you would say that is that mean Okay, no one's saying like oh I drink a red bull I got cancer

Drank uranium as well. Okay, if no one's saying like oh I drink a red bull and I got cancer What about okay if it gave him radiation poisoning if that's and we're the marketing team this is my pitch We have to come clean but we have to say it's a gamble What if we clean yes, you could get radiation poisoning, but you could also become the Hulk. Okay, three words, okay male birth control Always gonna say three words class action lawsuit. No, no, no Calm don't work and that's good. You come time. How do we know radiation makes you calm? Oh guys kids

I don't want people's class Well, I don't know what happened that's Human evolution is hope yeah, I don't know dude. I love living in the future. Yeah, I don't know what your problem your son's really strong What's the problem? I'd be happy if my son looked like that. Yeah, my story the whole save the universe Yeah, he's waiting as he's coming to work He's 11. Why do you want to be here Tristan Tristan Bailey, why do you want to be here by week son Tristan? regular regular strength dad weak son Tristan

How's he even wearing like, you know, he's not even strong enough to wear Down I can bench 220 week little boy weak little Shoulders little too weak for sure Shoulders get too tired. He's gonna take off the shirt It's so funny to imagine my son. It's just like this scrawny little kid with no shirt in the courthouse He can't wear a shirt. He's too weak. It hurts his shoulders. That's why I invented Hulk juice blood. I'm trying to make my son strong, you know Okay. Okay. Well if we're gonna lean... Strengthen up your son!

Yeah, if we're gonna lean maybe into more comic book bullshit. So the ad in sort of like, you know, in comic books where it was like a bully kicking sand into your face. Oh, like Hercules P-Man workout juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then it's just kind of like, man, does this keep happening to you? Does a bully keep coming up to you at the beach and kicking sand in your face? And stealing her wife all the time. Yeah

Drink our Hercules juice. Yeah, you'll be so big and strong that you can you can kick sand in the bullies face. There is that What if I call it green bull? Green Bull, okay B, A or B? Green Bull makes you strong and gives you wings Green Bull gives you strong and so it gives you a green ball Green ball gives you must be yeah, okay green ball gives you strong wings Green ball gives you strong

In Australia, we do have a green energy drink called Vee. Yeah, true. Is Vee associated with Channel Vee? I've always wondered about that. I thought it was. I don't know. They have a similar kind of like, Yeah. The same Vee.

But Channel Vee doesn't really exist, I don't think anymore. Did the drink have the same, Like a topography kind of thing. Maybe. Maybe, I'm fond at least. Yeah. Maybe, anyway.

Well, okay. Okay, well we call it, we call it a H. Yeah, H. Do we, well, that well, okay, what we call it H Yeah, H. Do we what that's the question do we lean in I'll call it a H bomb H Bomb do a H bomb do I hear your enemies? Yeah, okay a H bomb is the drink called H bomb what if we shift this instead? To market to the military. Oh, okay, so it's gone from like a soda to a serum, basically. No, still a soda. Oh, okay, okay.

Cause like, yeah, you know, like the caffeine pills and all those things like that. Yeah, okay, like the Nazis on math. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I was thinking here, we could either pivot, or maybe do both, both rounds. Yeah, yeah.

We pivot to the military, so that we can have, you know, strong Hulk soldiers temporarily, because I guess it's a drink so it'll last. You'll piss it out. Exactly. And then we can also maybe market it to porn. Oh, okay. Most technologies used to be at least where they would go from like military to pornography

then to the home market as it were. So because again, I think you could last like ages with Hulk juice. Now if you have a male. Yeah, yeah, let's lean into the kind of like this instead of like male birth control Your dick broke yeah have this juice. Oh, I see yeah that will it will make the bull makes you hot Bull makes you okay. It's like honey. It's like horny goat weed, but we call it horny Hulk weed I feel like your comes gonna be strong enough that it'll tear out the condom if you're fucking with a condom. Yeah.

Yeah. But maybe that's good. Not our problem. Hey! We're not saying male birth control. We're saying it'll make you... What about this? We say it makes you hard and it makes your orgasms ten times better. Yep.

And yes, the cum shoots... Hulk! Yeah, yeah. The cum shoots out the condom. But then we also produce a bunch of condoms that are reinforced. We make the problem. Yeah, lead.

They sell us their poisons. We drink their poisons. They sell us the solutions. Oh, yeah. You want to shoot fat green ropes? I'm fairly sure Hulk talks about not being able to get a boner. When?

Why? In Age of Ultron. And it's only when, because he can't- Isn't that Bruce Banner being like, cause it elevates my heart? Yeah, but, okay, so. Isn't that Hulk turning into Hulk? It was only when Hulk, my understanding from the character development they give us is, with Hulk, the moment he gets bitten by the Hulk and becomes a Hulk. Yeah, he's bitten by the Hulk, becomes a Hulk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He can no longer get a boner because Yeah. If he gets excited enough to get a boner, he becomes the Hulk. And the Hulk's angry, so the Hulk wouldn't have a boner because the Hulk isn't feeling pleasure, it's feeling anger. But,

he gets a kid because when he's like smart Hulk or just Hulk all the time then the Hulk Could get a boner, but I say we might so the three of us walk into the orgy funded by Hulk soda And we just see a bunch of eviscerated It's a bunch of angry limp men Probably becomes the drink of incels. Yeah, oh, okay. Incel juice. That is what she hulked.

Yeah, that's what she said. The guy, he was a big incel. He drank the hulk juice. Okay, incels. We mark it the incels. Is that like, as a demographic, do incels have a lot of money? They do be buying sodas. Oh, they do be buying sodas. Oh, they do be buying those courses. Yeah, okay.

And they fuck holes in pillars or whatever. Okay. So they gotta buy new pillars. Also, we sell the incel juice, and also some kind of reinforced sex doll. What if we instead- No, no, no, because their dick aren't gonna work. Yeah, fuck.

What if we instead shifted to like the Manosphere? Oh, okay. And made it like it's the drink for alphas. Okay. Full of vitamins and to really like, you know, it'll help you with your gains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vitamin G. Vitamin.

Scammer radiation. Yeah. Well, it'll be good for you. Yeah, you take this pre-workout. Yeah, yeah. You hulk out a bit. You do some good lifting. And then that improves your

muscle gain. Not really. Cause all it's done is like, I guess you've lifted as the Hulk. What if the thing does turn you into the Hulk and not just does nothing. Yeah. I love that. That's still a risk of this is that it just makes you sick. It is. Yeah, but we lie and we say it makes you good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe it just makes you sick. Maybe we might as well just be selling irradiated water. But, but, but with the Deleter,

it's like the serum, Super Soldier serum mixed with Hulk blood and that's kind of like- That makes abomination of the leader. Sorry, that makes abomination. Yeah. So what happens when you get in a bunch of gym junkies who maybe? Oh, maybe you roided up. Oh blood I imagine the abomination, but weaker. Yeah, yeah

Formed man Drink for horrific deformed man Drink for horrific deformed men. Yeah. It'll fuck you up. Finally a drink for people who want to be. No, no, no. It's not for anyone with... Oh, it's not for the already deformed.

No, it gets to them. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. What about, okay, so if it does make you sick, that might be okay because... No, yeah. Because you know when you're just about to die, you suddenly get like full of euphoria. Oh, what's it called? Is it called like the balance or something?

Yeah, something like that because they think, oh, the juice is working. And they die. Can't sue because they're feeling better than ever. Can't sue when you're dead. And then their family class action lawsuit. Fuck. Really hard to avoid that class action lawsuit. God damn. It's hard to avoid, yeah, ending up in court when we're selling a drink. That's main purpose is that it has radiation in it.

Yeah, radiation soda. What happens if a guy goes to Chernobyl? They get very sick. Well, it depends how long they're there. Are they wearing anything to protect them? Are they licking the elephant's foot? Because if so, not good. What's an elephant's foot look like?

Like a bunch of... Slag metal, basically. Big? Yeah, big thing is slag metal. It's gonna be crazy when Chernobyl's chill again. Yeah, well, yeah. He's not wrong. Yeah, he's not wrong.

It'll be a while, but. Long time. Yeah, yeah. Until that fungus that's there eats all the radiation. Oh yeah, I forgot about the radiation fungus. Probably, I mean, it's one fungus, but you know, it's gonna take its time. But when it's done, that'll be pretty sick.

Yeah, we can just go to Chernobyl and be like, fuck dude. Yeah dude, walk around, look at the deer and cats and stuff. They're radiated as well. Yeah. Yeah dude. That's crazy. But they'reobyl. Yeah, dude walk around look at the deer and cats and stuff. They're radiated as well Yeah, that's crazy. They're alive. Yeah. Yeah, dude. They've adapted Life in Chernobyl. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, dude. I want me in a suit and get me in there I watched a documentary about the life in Chernobyl once right but the voiceover was like it was like someone didn't know Like it was the first time they were seeing what was being depicted in the Documentary like the documentary was in another language and they didn't have the translation and then they did a dub over the top

So every lion had like a oh Glowing and dying yeah, I guess when the winter runs the wow he's gonna have kids I suppose right, it was bizarre, um Okay, what? Are we we still haven't decided are we coming out and saying I? Was high blood I think we need to say that it's got a special ingredient. Okay kind of like Yeah, the Colonel's living secret herb Little secret ingredient that make you stronger stronger, faster, smarter, better.

It's going to be one of those like, again, we got to lean into like energy drink slash health drink slash like, um, it's, it's, it's, uh, what's the white monster mother? Yeah. What's the one that kind of was like, went basically like, Oh wow, this is Jim bros drink this now. Yeah, I think it was a Mother I think it's mother monster energy drink is for gamers. I think mother is for Jim. But the white one though What it's a white monster. It's sugar-free. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, that's monster Yeah, but it's all in it. That's all energy drinks are for gamers now. Yeah, that's also for Jim bros as well

No Jim bros. They just have protein shakes No, no That's that's for Kyle's Kyle's could be Jim bros. Yeah, they can work together. You are thinking white monster though. Yeah zero ultra white Yeah, yeah, I also occasionally drink it if I want a big energy drink And then it makes me tired like two hours later because that's how that's how energy drinks work Yeah, it's big in the gym. Damn. That's crazy Wow Do we think there'll be a period of time where the Hulk is popular enough that it will be worth it marketing wise to lean in

Well, the Hulk's pretty popular off who brings everyone back. Yeah. Yeah, okay Can you if you sell someone else's blood? Yes, you could absolutely be. Well, well. I was like, you know, it's just like, we've gotten it through. Like, how did we get his blood as well? Yeah, I guess in the movie it's one drop, but I mean, we're saying doctors recommend four liters a day. No, no, no, we're not. I am, dude. Doctors recommend four liters of hulk blood, no, no, no, where not? I am, dude. Drinks four- Drinks recommend four liters

of Hulk blood every single day. That's 16 glasses. Yeah, every single day. Yeah, dude. Hulk out. Every single day. 16 glasses of Hulk blood. I think that could, even if it was water, be detrimental to your health.

Yeah. Four liters is probably fine. He might be four liters of water over the course of a day. He might be a four liters of Hulk blood over the course of a day. He might be a four liters of hulk blood over the course of a day. No, no, no, no, no. Could we get, say, Blomsky blood? Yeah. Whatever, dude.

Get what we, in the lab, we gamma irradiate some motherfucker. Okay. And just bleed him dry. Okay. Because I'm putting, because I, we... Have they tried to gamma irradiate anyone else that hasn't worked? Or is, do you need some like Hulk blood? Well... I don't know.

Because in the comic there's something else. I don't think in the MCU anybody else is a gamma monster. Yeah, because I think it's like... Hulk and his ilk. Just Bruce Banner and then anything is like kind of to do with his blood, right? Yeah. But if we were to get like, you know, Blomsky blood, which is kind of a derivative of Hulk blood,

Yeah. Is that going to be like a diluted blood? Kind of like, you know, Blomsky blood which is kind of a derivative of Hulk blood Yeah, is that gonna be like a diluted blood kind of like, you know when in multiplicity? Yeah, and you clone clone Yeah, I know I think it'd be fun. Anyway, I think it'd be the same. I think you'd be just all good I don't know. I think it'd be a little bit diluted. Well, that's fine. That's I mean, I think it's probably better. Yeah, honestly That's kind of a win. Also, I mean, you know, you know Blomsky's in prison or he's in a retreat or like, you know But when he was in prison, surely we could have gotten some and even if Blomsky's too hard to get what about this? Yeah, the one drop goes in the can. Mm-hmm Stanley. Mm-hmm comes a Hulk We go we got to find that guy because it's our drink. That's it's turning into a whole body. They have found him

Well, I'm in hospital fabulous and we go. Hey, we're just gonna take a little bit We're gonna drain you well We've already had his blood because that's how they found out he's got gamma radiation sick or gamma sickness Yeah, true that you test on that blood. Well, we take the blood and we put it in our soda. Yeah. Yeah, that's just old man Well, actually this good when you need four lead is an old man blood every single day, dude So this could be good because if we take old man blood, yeah Yeah, I reckon that's not gonna make people sick and be like a placebo, but we're saying it's Hulk blood Which is not technically lying. Yeah, okay, we're not actually turning people into hulks

Well, I feel like if we okay if we produce even a hundred cans of a drink that turns people into the Hulk, we've destroyed the world. No. Only for a bit! You don't think a hundred? Only for a bit! Until they piss it out! Until they piss it out! It's like a couple hours!

Yeah, it's a couple hours! Come on! Couple hours of being a Hulk! Couple hours of being a Hulk! How long? And we sell it and we sell it like, okay, we make a hundred cans. And it's a preview price. Oh yeah, this is a hundred can yeah, and we it's a preview for us. Oh, yeah, this is like

It's a millionaire soda dude, and that's think we've got a hundred cans. Yeah, a hundred million dollars Yeah, one million dollars each dude. Yeah, and the Hulk for a bit. Hmm. We call it millionaires punch. You know, yes I Recently watched the social network again. Yeah, what's cooler than a million dollars a billion? billionaires punch billionaires punch dude, uh The small price of one billion dollars and then one person buys one. Yeah, I like that We're actually selling it for a billion dollars. Yeah Yeah, one person buys one yeah, I like that. We're actually selling it for a billion dollars Yeah, yeah one person buys one punch We're billion

Well one of us is a billionaire you have zero dollars The Hulk blood is our agreement First billion goes to me second billion We just keep going around keep going around And can you think about it this we sell one billion we've done it once Yeah, we can sell it again It'll be easier to do a second time You're telling me that like piece of shit

Elon Musk would not buy at least four of these cans Absolutely and he'd drink them on stream and people would tell him to kill himself Yeah And it would be awesome Including the people that sold him those drinks Enjoying our radiation juice? Idiot! Kill yourself!

Yeah dude, billionaire's punch. So it takes, for complex liquids, like bone broth, which I can only assume that our billionaire's punch is also a complex liquid, one hour. One hour of hulking up dude? Come on, These billionaires, they got more money than the sets. Exactly, dude. We're marketing straight to Bezos. Okay. So we market to them. Can, if Jeff Bezos is the Hulk for an hour, what damage is that going to do to the world? He'll probably, there'll be a bunch of photo shoots. He might tear her dog, you know

The first time he turns into the heart like it's uncontrolled the long controlled rage Yeah, we're trying to think of any of the billion like come on. He's got some right. They all got some right. Oh, yeah Yeah, they're going crazy. Yeah, I'm just I think if like a Hulk could physically do enough damage to wreck any like to wreck the world But I guess not Trump turned into the Hulk. Okay, he wrecked the White House. Probably do less damage. He do more physical damage He's not like enacting policies. Yeah, you know, you should never do that Oh, yeah, you give them give these like, you know billionaires this whole just like they they just like Hulk out for an hour Maybe two. Mm-hmm. They're just like they're destroying some things. They may be killing some folk. Yeah, they'd like leveling city blocks. Sure

Sure, it's got nothing to do with us You got nothing to do with us on them. Yeah The press conference after and then and then I'll win the hour the two hours are gone. They're a regular person Yeah, then they get shot in the head. And we go, why you want to shoot us in the head? Was that not the ultimate rush? Yeah, exactly. You and like four other guys in the whole universe have experienced that.

No one's felt like that ever. Exactly. But you did do some crimes, so we're gonna have to shoot you in the head for the crimes you committed. Jeff Bezos is going to, he's gonna get the chair. Yeah, finally. It's got nothing to do with us. Yeah, we're innocent. In fact, it's pretty good.

A, we get billies. And then the billionaires, they're some murders. Yeah. And then they're no longer immune because they've got no more Hulk juice. And they get the chair. Do you think there's a risk of, you know, we- When a drunk driver kills, do we hang the beer man? No.

This really feels like desperate defenses we're making to a bunch of microphones and cameras. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a good idea to have a beer man. Yeah. I think it's a good idea to have a beer man. Yeah. I think it's a good idea to have a beer man. Yeah.

I think it's a good idea to have a beer man. Yeah. I think it's a good idea to have a beer man. Yeah. I think it's a good idea to have the beer man? No! This really feels like desperate defenses we're making to a bunch of microphones and cameras. You don't hang beer when a man drunk drives. So why would you hang billionaire punch corporation? You don't go over Jimmy Kors and shoot him in the head if someone drinks dry? We don't give guns the chair A gun has never got a lethal injection. Yeah, exactly. So

Why? Billionaires punch didn't punch all those all those people Punch them. I'm sorry. Your dog got torn in half by Bill Gates by Hulk Bill Gates That's a tragedy and I wish little snuffles didn't get torn in half by Bill Hulk Gates We here at Billy Dez punch we really sounded by the death of little snuff. Yeah, exactly. Who got torn in half on live television? Yeah, but you got nothing to do with us. No we we had no part or we play the classic we didn't expect us We didn't we just gave this billionaire our billionaire's punch and he

Unbeknownst to us. He had an uncontrollable Hulk rage. We just thought like, you know in our rigorous testing Yeah, they be the you know the test No, they just became rich I don't think it's actually got anything to do with our drink. I was just gonna say that they just turned to a regular hulk and was fine. No rage at all. It must be the billionaire. I think the billionaire is the problem.

I think that you were meant to call the billionaire and not us, because I don't understand why we're here. We have nothing to do with any... He had chips that day. You don't see... You're not given the chip man the chair. What did he have with his delicious, uh, Billionaire's Punch? Oh, I think I found the corporate and just bought the thing of Pringles on the internet.

I'm pretty sure he had a burger and he washed that burger down with some Billionaire's Punch. Why is McDonald's not on trial? Yeah, why has the Burger King not been given the guillotine? Perhaps this salt content of a Burger King Whopper is what made him the Hulk Yeah, instead of out there mysterious juice When you drink billionaire's punch that no one on record has drank Yeah, if you think your punches your billions punches actually quite safe. Could you maybe drink a can? Six-pack

I'm very full well doctors recommend you drink four liters of billionaires punch today, so obviously I'll just do that doctors recommend Four liters of billionaires. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a billion dollars a can so yeah, okay Drinking six billion dollars drink! And I feel fine. Excuse me. You just walk as I walk into a portal of... That's your eyes hulking out. Close the door and it just explodes. Akira style.

Yeah. That's where we put our separate things. He had Maccas earlier. He had McDonald's food. Are we hanging Ronald? Yeah, I think yeah, we simply just avatar yeah, we we get the billion dollars from the billionaires Yeah, and then we simply hire the lawyers who defended like smoking and all that Kill you but our billionaires punch their toasted billionaires punch the new smoking. Yeah Billionaires punch it doesn't give you lung cancer. Yeah

What if we take the bad things other things do and we say our drink doesn't do them billionaires punch It's not addictive. Yeah, exactly billionaires punch won't cheat on on your wife Billionaires punch won't make you impotent. Will not affect his burp count. And then immediately a class action lawsuit. Yes it will. Well we don't know. Look at my giant sons. And then I looked at whatever his name was. Tristan.

A boy too weak to wear a shirt. He can't wear a shirt or a belt. Look at Scar. he's huge. The belt will crush him. The belt will crush him, dude. He's kind of bisected. He's so weak, man. He's so weak.

Yeah, not addictive. No, deviant-acceptive. Won't give you a heart attack. Yeah, exactly, dude. Not gonna give you pain. Won't be paranoid, like no paranoia. I'll give you pain Like no paranoia No cancer

Really need to steer clear of the ones that are a race turn your skin a healthy Let's take it back. Okay, it won't cheat on you your wife Okay, sleep with your wife that one we can show that's true. That's true long cancer also seems unlikely It bypasses the lung Stomach cancer maybe Brain the the impotence and the cancer one we want to keep those ones away I got diabetes won't give you diabetes. Well, I mean, it's an energy Yeah, no sugar it is just blocked. You's no sugar in it, it's just blood.

Is it no sugar? Yeah, it's sugar free. Sugar free we'll say. Won't give you diabetes. Won't give you diabetes dude. Sugar free and we can put a bunch of other shit in it. Grana, taurine, vitamin B, caffeine. The heart attack one also needs to very much be off the cards here.

Because this will give you a heart attack. An energy drink with no caffeine. Okay, lots of caffeine. Yeah, yeah, heaps of caffeine. As long no caffeine. Okay, lots of caffeine. Yeah. Yeah heaps of caffeine It just is long as long as we keep the heart attack equivalent of eight shots of espresso The equivalent of a heart attack Imagine what would kill you and we did a little less. Yeah, exactly one last shot of espresso that would kill you Hmm

It's like the electric chair. Yeah the electric chair for your brain. Yeah, I'm sure if you got oh I drink that I drink that if I had a million dollars or a billion or a billion dollars. Yeah, diarrhea makes you strong Directly strong you read that you think I wish I had some Diarrhea makes you strong. You read that and you think, I wish I had some diarrhea right now, it makes me strong. Well wait a second. Ah! I should have read the second line. Diarrhea makes you strong and this gives you diarrhea. It's like birds can fly and they do pisses and shits in one thing

and that's kind of what diarrhea feels like. This slogan's really running on.'s gonna know Tony Hawk gets called Birdman Makes you piss and shit in one go like Tony Hawk in fact, it's Birdman Only drink that'll make you feel like a bird. Yeah in the way you piss and shit Experience the coac a lifestyle I know in the calm here. Yeah, Hulk turns into some sort of sort of like unless she Hulk what's her name? Betty Ross Betty Ross. Yeah, she turns into some sort of like harpy bird creatures become a bird woman

Yeah superhero name harpy. Yeah, so Yeah, yeah, what's her superhero name? Hoppy yeah, so All those Capcom games cuz I don't lock the memory for me. I reckon she might have been always red Hulk for a bit Yeah, or red sheen. Yeah Hey, maybe you hey Maybe give you wings. Yeah, that's true. And if we say Billionaires punch gives you wings. Yeah, and it does then Red Bull can they're out of the fucking game Because they don't really give you wings, but we do maybe maybe it could happen. Yeah, the thing about Hulk

Anything we have like, you know Hulk blood red. Mmm, that will give you wings because it's blood taken from the harpy Mmm, that the problem with Hulk juice is that it is does seem random the kind of hulk you become yeah If you become like oh, I want to I want I've got a big test. Yeah, I'm like all right. I'm studying for an exam I'm a student. I'm doing my like VCE or equivalent in other states and countries Mm-hmm starting to cram and study and be real smart Yeah, so I'm gonna try and drink some hulk juice because I know the leader here hulk And he got smart from the hulk blood and so I drink it and and drink some Hulk juice because I know the leader here Hulk and he got smart from the Hulk blood And so I drink it and then I wake up in a football field

Having destroyed several buildings Yeah, whoopsie daisy, so that's we need to try I think what we can do now Yeah, maybe maybe because we know that like is it is it where the Hulk blood is is injected Does that does that effect because it goes in the leaders head right and he becomes smart Yeah, so if we get people like kind of like, you know buffing Thing is we have Hulk blood juice or Hulk blood soda out in the market We can't control them. That's true. Well. Yeah people are boofing our soda, they're sporting it

They're they're injecting it straight into their eyes. Yeah, like what are they gonna do? With the power of a Hulk if you're us So you get a really good brain you get a it's Peckable it's an impeccable brain. Do you get they like the juiciest? like BBL Mmm onion ass are so good at make a grown man cry Yeah, situation you go love to what you walk away style Oh, but is that would that actually be more like if you sat in a puddle of Hulk juice if it goes up your asshole

Does that just make your colon? Efficient yeah, he's crushed the shits into little cubes. What's ending him out? Yeah We see Hulk stacked before she got the Hulk juice in the comics uh uh Question Jennifer Walters she just seems like a normal woman. She's not like Question Jennifer Walters. She just seems like a normal woman. She's not like Particularly I don't know Cuz it in hate does it enhance and also think about the leader. He was already smart

So does it just enhance your intelligence? No, but Bruce Banner was smart and he got muscle II. Yeah Like the later He was smart to the point where he can predict shit. Yeah. Yeah, he was so good at probabilities. He could see the future I'm scared if people both the Hulk juice and then someone fucks their ass and they snap the penis off with their Sphinx, right? Okay. I'm What action? As prep, yeah We boofed, we boofed to have some, we boofed all juice as prep. Yeah, so I think they're paw paw paw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so we do this and then let's fuck. Yeah.

And then, so, what is happening, there's too much hulk blood, penis sedarsis and everything happening. I don't know what will happen because then you'll have, that's that's that like an immovable object meets principal force as your penis It's sort of drenched and a bathed in Hulk juice and you get a Hulk wiener in a Hulk asshole on two regular people Yeah Well wonderful thing will happen. Yeah, well, it's probably fine because it's a Hulk You know, the only person that could fuck a Hulk's ass is another Hulk really yeah, that's not true. I can fuck Well the asshole yeah, also again it depends you know how penetration requires penetration yeah

Yeah, what do you think is holes become? I think that's all a muscle Lube off we can still we can figure it out You can lube up the Hulk but well you can't lube up the Hulk you can't fuck the Hulk's asshole Brother I'm so sorry Your penis would snap before you achieve penetration scars Mom great question. Another Hulk. No, no, it's cheese from space. You're from space idiot

Yeah, yeah another Hulk not planet it's not planet it's just a lady that's what the name of the fucking comic book series it's just a lady's not a planet of all planet of whole it's a planet of all no wait no he's the only Hulk but they're basically all know their whole life Camille oh angel is she like like very white with maybe some like looks like a zebra woman maybe yes like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Like genitals or something well no because that's it's a complete alien life form. She's seven foot tall Yeah, yeah, and she weighs a hundred and twenty two kilograms, okay? Okay, so that's again. Yeah, not a Hulk because again on a different planet Yeah, not a whole in no way a no way a Hulk. Let me look at her powers

I'm guessing she's like a bound big strength stamina durability Yeah, durability and strength are the important ones there when you're having sex with the Hulk. Yeah, what? You're not penetrating the Hulk. Yeah, but sorry, Steve Rogers is? Yeah. Steve Rogers could. Steve Rogers could fuck the Hulk in the ass?

Yeah, but you couldn't. How does that make you feel? It hurts me. Yeah, I know, because you keep trying to argue with it. Because I think I could still. No, you couldn't. So like, if the Hulk's loose enough, with enough lube if it's doing poppers Lube doesn't loosen the hole poppers

So Cap America Steve Rogers could but Cap America Sam Wilson could not yeah, is that what you're saying that we saying who? Hulk in the arts This is what all the stars always been leading to dude It's day one Steve Rogers Tony Stark in in his suit in the Hulk fuckers Hulkbuster nut Buster nut suit. Yeah.

That's... Black Widow, she never took any serum. No, cause they also would have boned. Yeah. She could, like that's the whole point. No, but you were saying though, that like if you got a wreck, you turn into a Hulk and the Hulk is angry.

Yeah. That's why he couldn't bone. Yeah, but if she took this... Yeah. She had a different... Black Widow is angry. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't bone. Yeah, but if she took this, hmm Yeah, yeah, she had a different black winners in the It's like who knows they ever really make a decision I had a little juice century century century century could fuck that you could fuck Hulk in the eye. It's the void Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, century could take century could Sentries get Bob Bob. Yeah, uh, I mean he could but then that would turn him into century which should then turn him into the void

Yeah, yeah, yeah bad time to fuck Hulk in the yeah Yeah, a lot of void going on US agent. Yeah, yeah Anyone with the super soldiers are so Bucky. Yeah Drax. Yeah. Yeah No strong strong, it's like how Thor could fuck him in the ass. Yeah, yeah, but Thor's a god Yeah, that's like a different level that he can like yeah He can read Guardian read Guardian read Guardian could fuck Hulk in the ass sure sure sure sure Like could I fuck Captain America in the ass? Yeah

Yes, then why couldn't he then bang the Hulk? Because Captain America doesn't have like, his muscles aren't impenetrable. Yeah. If you shoot Captain America, does he not die? He's just stronger. Yeah. Because the Hulk's also invulnerable. Yeah, yeah. That's like, well Hulk has control.

Yeah. Could the Hulk suck me off? Yeah. Oh yeah, but you don't want it. Boop. Yeah, that's a... Oh oh damn. I ate my penis. He sucked me off. It's kind of like when you see somebody get sucked into like you know like you see a crab get sucked into a tiny hole in a pipe. Yeah. That happens to my whole body. Yeah. I'm just like my head

and elves are like sticking out the hog's mouth. Thank you. Someone swallowed a hot dog, but like Yeah, damn, you're on that's bad could get so it will be your for the Jackson Bailey's final sock off. Yeah Yeah, I don't know if he's like I look I think the whole control I felt like I broke heaps of things with my peaches then. You didn't. You just kicked off a power board. Take that power board. My immaculate collection of Stuart Little 3 Call of the Wild that remains untainted. Remains untouched.

Okay, let's pitch an ad for Billionaire's Punch. I think we involve my son Tristan. Cause he's the weakest boy I know. And if we want to show the transformation. Are you gonna give him the... Yeah, dude. I gotta do something about him. Could you dress him up like a weak billionaire? Yeah, okay.

And be like, this is like... Would a tie kill him? Yeah, and it's choking him. He'd be hunched over from the way through the tower. Hello, billionaire. Are you like my weak son? Yeah. Too weak for shirts? Do you wish you were stronger? How much money are you paying to change your blood with the blood of your young son?

How much money are you paying for vitamins? paying for all these different like you know one billion dollars on blah blah blah I love the idea of I'm just I trying to picture but I just keep on talking about a week getting really distracted my son's incredibly weak he can't wear shirts if his pants fall down and land on his feet that's like a million kilogram weight to him. He'll break a toe. He'll break God he's weak. Yeah I tried to put a tie on him once I was like hanging him by the neck. You see how he's got no hair? That's because if his hair, he gets too much hair it's too heavy for him. And he starts walking like the gravity is heavier. Okay? He's walking around

like this. Shut up Tristan! Why'd you come out like this? Imagine, his hand is hitting his neck Yeah He just feels like he's got so much gravity pushing him The weight of my son's head is crushing his spine! He's doing so much right now to stand upright! Why is the earth so strong? It's not the earth Tristan, it's you

The earth is fine Gravity stings He loves lying down Cause it's easier than standing up for him You can't let him lie down for too long cause then he can't breathe The weight of his chest Pushes in on his lungs And he can't

He's got heavy ribs What was this about again? yeah maybe it'll fix Tristan drink up Tristan yeah that Tristan he gets just as strong as a normal boy yeah because if he's so weak yeah to him to having some Hulk blood he's only gonna get regular look he can wear a shirt for an hour he can hold his head up high he can stand for formal events I make him I'm gonna get right mmm For formal events I make him drink the billionaires punch yeah wear a shirt for one hour But what then I've got a little alarm over watching I'm like excuse me gentlemen We crush He'll be crushed to death by that shirt. Beep beep beep beep beep

No no no no no dad! Oh fuck Take him to the bathroom Pull the shirt off him Cutting off the shirt His shirt is so heavy It's so heavy He's so

Weak Somebody puts a hat on him Everybody just Trying to kill myself So weak. So fucking weak. Somebody puts a hat on him and he just trying to kill my son. What's wrong with you? Putting a hat on him. Do you know how heavy that is to my boy? You killed him. You killed my son with his hat.

With this simple cap you've crushed my boy Tristan. It's very funny. Like a billion ass punch cap you put on your boy. No! It, like a billionaire's punch cap you put on your boy. Yeah! No! It sinks like a stone. Oh my god, disastrous press release today.

Yeah, local man kills son for bad taste promo. He's like, I made this billionaire's punch t-shirt. Oh, Tristan. Some novelty sunglasses that just sheer off his nose. His skids are so brutal. Oh yeah, he's weak in many ways. In many ways, dude. Well, the hat that killed him, maybe it was for the best. But I think that's the best way to do it. You saw this billionaire's punch, you make billionaires strong, they feel, and then hopefully it kills them.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then we all get to become billionaires punch and make billionaires strong they feel and then hopefully it kills them. Yeah exactly. Exactly. And then we all get to become billionaires. And then we also because we're billionaires now. We can afford billionaires punch. Fuck me. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that. That's like that's just basically like you know profit right? Yeah exactly. I pay myself a billion dollars to drink this delicious punch that's a billion dollars worth of profit. Yeah dude I mean cents on the dollar that's the move dude. That's a billion dollars worth of profit. Yeah, dude. I mean, cents on the dollar. That's the move, dude. That is the move. Could be the move. Could be the move. It is the move. Yeah. Confirmed.

Being is punch. Confirmed move. Get high on your own supply. That's what they recommend. That's what they recommend. Get high on your own supply and die. Yeah, dude. Wait, is this the one that says, that's right, the diarrhea makes you strong and it gives you diarrhea. So this is makes you stronger. This gives you a diary. Yeah. So this is the perfect time for me to have a drink.

Finally, you can, if birds piss and shit. Yeah, yeah. Just a whacker experience. A whacker in a can. A whacker in a can like Tony Hawk in brackets bird man. He's cool, question mark. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'm excited to be the Hulk and then have the worst diarrhea of my life. Yeah, that's exciting. Anyway, and then that takes us back to the courtroom. I imagine we've just been talking through all of this, being like, anyway, you shouldn't sue us because you don't hang Ronald McDonald. Yeah, exactly. Ronald McDonald's done a million crimes and nobody shot him an ass. He's innocent, is what I'm hearing. Yeah, dude. Free my boy Ronald.

Yeah, why are you locking up Ronald McDonnie? You should bring him out. Gentlemen, you've misunderstood. This was a class action lawsuit and it's the first one in human history that's ending with three firing squads. Oh damn. The death penalty for a class action lawsuit. Can I have but one drink before I go? I have but one drink Meal four liters

Doc's orders It works wonderful break out of prison, you know back at it again Yeah, gonna stop me. Yeah next you're trying to be selling black widows blood Jackson how you keep getting all the Avengers bloods? No, I have my way Me and the Avengers mansion. Yeah, just doing a blood test. Yeah four liters Yeah, yeah, we got a lot of everyone. You'll we've got a lot of tests. Yeah Yeah, I like you've gotten confused about the four liters of consuming your drink Which doesn't contain four liters of blood to now to the point where you're taking four leaders Yeah, I got a lot of blood in my blood van from all the Avengers and they're very weak

Yeah, like tap Thor like a keg. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you just sit there quietly or whatever. Yeah, when you start getting lightheaded, don't worry about a quarter of the way You tell me We'll lie you down. Maybe yeah, I'm gonna lie down as well. Yeah, wake me up when you're lightheaded. Yeah, doctor Shouldn't be going into these buckets Medical buckets, they're gonna do my job a regular person has five liters of blood in their body. So we're just gonna take four You will be fine okay and Thor for the love of god enough of this lip okay Is this just how we do things on earth? Yeah you're like the sixth Avenger I've drained today I'm tired as hell yeah yeah and they're all just dead rocket raccoon especially he did not have

then I'm just looking at the back of my van right I've just like 50 buckets of blood and I'm like who's is I'll just make all this slosh them together Yeah, yeah, it just kills you it just kills Class action lawsuit yeah back to the back in court The Avengers are on the stand yeah the surviving members. Yeah, once you couldn't quite get that day It's not my fault you couldn't tell I was not a real doctor Losing four liters of blood right now Okay, I'll prove it according to law. You can lose 4 liters of blood and be fine. I like it in my nappy couch and a bucket. Somehow this becomes confused with us talking about Tony Hawk earlier. And I have to then do a 900

to like prove I'm okay. Yeah. You died, Jackson tragically died. Just this table is a sheet. Just like, okay. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Okay, yeah, you died Jackson tragically died Okay, oh yeah, I got this

Go up the half pipe into the air on the skateboard just fly away, and I'm just He's gonna die when he hits the ground. I'm unconscious. I'm unconscious. Head crack, nothing comes out. In your last moments you knew what it was like to be a weak dead boy, Tristan. Exactly. He's gonna die when he hits the ground. This is his last moments we're watching right now. As Jackson with one liter of blood in his body,

tried to do a night out. To judge the rest of the court case standing by the side of the skate park. Well, oh well. And... That's life. Yeah, that is life. And on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joe. This has been another wonderful episode of Plum Village. Yeah, one of the best. One of the good ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That has been another wonderful episode. Yeah, one of the best one of the good ones. Yeah

Yeah, that's what people saying. Yeah, this is one of the good ones. Yeah Thank you so much for listening and let us know how you'd sell Hulk. Yeah Yeah, you've got a second best option because we've got the first one covered. Yeah. Yeah, let us know. Could you top billionaires punch? Yeah, could you do a nine hundred one liter of? Wake up with one liter of blood. Let us know