Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Market the Pants from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?

Episode Date: June 2, 2024

Over the weekend Jackson watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants while eating paella, got excited for what he kept calling ‘magic pants’ and came bounding into the studio wanting to record an episode about ‘pants that fit anyone’ that ‘guarantee you have a pivotal moment in your life and ’possess the power of womanhood’. Thinking hahaha this should be fun, we hit record and now we’re left with this. Enjoy 40 odd minutes of two Joels disappointed in one Jackson as he takes us all on a journey about evil pants that he loves.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe. Plumbing the Death Star is a pop culture comedy podcast. I don't know why I said comedy.

You be the judge of that. You be the judge. It is pop culture. That, undisputed. Comedy, eh. It's already undercutting us. Now, the audience is on the back foot because I'm asking them to do something, and it's challenging media.

Fair enough. It's invigorating. No. That's okay. It could still be informative. That, it also will not be. Anyway, this is a podcast where we ask the important questions like, how would you market the pants from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?

So, I watched the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants because I remember this movie. I see this movie in 2005, and I'm like, those pants be walking by themselves. What's so special about these pants? But I never saw it. And I decided...

So, when you saw Traveling Pants... I thought the pants would be traveling. Well, like, I didn't know. I didn't see a trailer, but I just saw the poster. I just remember the trailer being like, damn, we are... This is my memory of the Sister of the Traveling Pants only seeing a trailer and now being forced to remember it. Yes.

There is a group of girls. They go to maybe high school. A sisterhood. A sisterhood, if you will. They are the bestest of all the friends. Yeah. And then they grow up and now they are going off to college, and they're like, we still keep in touch,

but because it is before internet is mainstream times, we have to write letters. And some of them are like, I'm having a bad time. Give me them pants. I need them good time pants. You're not far off. And then they're like, sure. And then everybody get pants delivered to them.

And then they have a wonderful time. Maybe it's the same pants. I do not know. And my knowledge of this is that I knew it was a book. There are five books. Okay. That doesn't change my knowledge of it. There were a book and people were like, this book it's good and i remember being like that

doesn't seem like it's obviously not for me yeah and they were like no and then in my head no no it is not for you why don't you try reading artemis fowl or like the Alex Rider series and I said okay and that maybe it was a bit like are you there Margaret it's me God are you there God it's me Margaret God's not writing that book. Are you there God it's me Margaret Yeah that is what it's called. Yeah yeah Not are you there Margaret it's me God. That's scary

You don't want a letter from God That's what Moses copped Are you there Moses it's me God What? Not Moses Noah that's what I called. Are you there, Moses? This is me, God. What? Not Moses. Noah. That's what I meant. Build a boat.

Are you there, Moses? It's me, burning bush. Yeah. Are you there, Evan? It's me, Bruce. Is that a Bruce Almighty reference? That was actually an Evan Almighty reference, but yeah. Anyway. And then they made a movie, And I think people liked the movie

But the movie wasn't as good as the book maybe But people love to say that about every book And there was another movie as well Based on I think the second No the third and second books And then there's a new movie coming out soon apparently And the musical Based on the first movie

Because the Mean Girls musical did so well. No, but the stage show did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But the movie adaptation of the movie, the musical movie, did not.

Yeah. So there were four young women. They were all around 16, 17. Tibby, Carmen, Bridget, and Lena. Tibby's not a name. Her real name is Tabitha. That's a name. But everyone calls her Tibby. Not Tabby? Not Tabby. They call her Tibby's not a name. Her real name is Tabitha. That's a name. But everyone calls her Tibby.

Not Tabby? Not Tabby. They call her Tibby. Tabitha, and they go from Tabitha to Tibby. Tabitha, Tabitha, Tibby. Anyway, one day, it's the day before. I would take Tab over Tibby. You don't want to be Tab.

I want a Tab. Hey, Tab. Oh. Yeah. See, it's good. It's actually not bad. Anyway, one day, on the day before summer vacation, they go shopping. And all the girls are so sad because one of them's going to Greece.

One of them's going to Mexico to soccer school. One of them's going to... She's going to Bendit like Beckham School. Yeah, exactly. One of them's going to hang out with her dad. And one of them's going to stay back in town and make a documentary. And they're so... I hate that girl the most.

One of those is not like the other. One ofirder so they're like we're gonna miss each other and they go shopping and they find a pair of pants oh I get this about these fucking pants mm-hmm not only do they fit the three girls it's so that the one girl tries it on and she's like like, oh my god, these pants fit me. You try on these pants. And then another girl- Were they shocked that they just like, oh, they found a pair of pants? Well, so they find the pants, and they're like, you should try it on. But it's the girl who goes to Greece, and she never wears pants.

And then she tries it on, and they're like, whoa, someone's got a figure. Because like, I guess she doesn't, I don't know, she always wears dresses. And then she's like, I'm not wearing these pants, you try on the pants. Yeah, dresses famously hide figure. Bro, I don't know, she always wears dresses. And then she's like, I'm not wearing these pants, you try on the pants. Yeah, dresses famously hide figure. Bro, I don't know. I see someone in a dress no matter the size of it. Take it off with Tibby, dude. Then one of the other girls tries on the pants.

She's like, that's crazy, the pants fit me too. Are they all similar, I guess, shapes and sizes? Well, see, but then the third girl tries on the pants, they fit her as well. And then they all turn to Carmen, played by America Ferreira. And she's like, the pants aren't fit her as well. And then they all turn to Carmen, played by America Ferreira, and she's like, the pants aren't gonna fit me. Because remember, it was 2005, so a fat woman was any woman.

Yeah, it was a really rough time. To be honest, I want to say it maybe still is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shockingly, now you're like, it's bad. And like, it is bad. It like, it is bad. It's horrible.

15 years ago? Somehow worse. If you were a normal human woman in 2005, the British tabloids would be like, Kate Moss turned sideways and we could still see her. She should kill herself. Bigger than her own shadow so American

Ferrero sorry is she still bigger than her shadow it's me a British fish

Renee Zellweger has put on five killers to play Bridget Jones fire her out of a cannon yeah it's just that.

Oh, fuck it. She's lost. She's having a kid and she's fat. She's a fat whore. Quickly, quickly, tap her phone. New dieting fad that all teenage girls should try. Heroin and cocaine. Yeah, wash it down with not eating. that all teenage girls should try. Heroin and cocaine. Yeah.

Wash it down with no eating. So yeah, America Ferrera, a normal woman, she tries on the pants and everyone's like, these are magic pants. These pants have a power,

a power to them, a terrible power. These pants can fit any member of the system. Okay. Then they buy the pants. Yeah. It's unclear who purchases the pants, but they decide we got to share these fucking pants.

So it's a timeshare pants. It's a timeshare pants. They go and they have a seance at the Lamaze class where their mothers met. A seance. They light candles around the pants. You hit me with too many things. They go to a yoga studio. What?

Where their mothers met doing Lamaze class while they were all in their mother's stomachs. Because they all had the same due date. Wait. He keeps getting into things. So the girls are friends because their moms are friends and all of the moms were due on the same day. So they all share a birthday. Were they born on the same day? I think so. I'm pretty sure.

They say it's crazy that the only reason we're friends is because our mothers were all pregnant with us at the same time. And the only thing that connects us I think they say is our due date. But I might be wrong on that. Don't you SOTP heads out there come for me.

But they definitely were all in their mother's stomachs at the same time. It's crazy to make the fucking belly full. I mean, Jackson famously claimed that the human gestation period is 12 months. Which is incorrect. If you're doing it properly. Let that baby cook. Comes out smarter. Anyway. That's how baby cook comes out smarter anyway

that's how smart it can walk yeah to claim like oh we're friends but we've got like the only thing we share is

the exact birthday would be fucked and obviously you're hanging out so you share interests the only thing sorry the only thing

their parents shared their parents have had very different personalities yeah the only thing their parents shared, their parents have had very different personalities. Yeah. The only thing their parents shared was the birth date of their children. I'm getting angry at these teens for being fucking stupid. Anyway, they have a seance.

What do you mean? Because they share the same birthday. Let's say they do share the same birthday. To be like, there's nothing to bring us. You're friends. Oh, right, right, right. You know what I mean? It's not like they've just walked into the room and been like,

wait, who are you? Who are these parents? know what I mean? It's not like they've just walked into the room and been like, wait, who are you? Who are these pears? Yeah, I know. It's like, yes, they're friends. That's like me being like, well, we're friends because... The only thing that fucking brings us together is the fact we host the podcast Plumbing the Death Star.

It's like, yeah, that's a very specific thing and also not true. Are you getting mad at what's happened or at Jackson's explanation? It could be both. Yeah. I've fallen down that path many times. Who knows?

Anyway, they have a seance about the pants. And they decide on a bunch of pants rules. I don't know if this is a seance, but okay. When they say seance, are they trying to contact- They light a bunch of candles in the dark around the pants. Around the Ouija board? And they say, no, it's pants. Okay.

And they say, we are the sisterhood. Right now, they're just the sister dark around the pants. Around the Ouija board? And they say, no, it's pants. Okay. And they say, we are the sisterhood. Right now, they're just the sisterhood of the pants. Do they dub themselves the sisterhood of the pants? Well, they just say we're a sisterhood because the pants haven't traveled yet. No, I know. They say they're a sisterhood. The implication is they're a sisterhood of the pants. Have these teens, has the craft come out yet?

And have they watched it? Yes, the craft would have come out. It's 2005 in the movie, so yeah. So anyway, they decide they get ten rules for the pants. Ten. Ten rules for having the pants. The ten sacred commandments of pants. Ten rules for wearing my teenage pants.

So I don't remember a lot of the rules. Cause, shut up. Cause some of the rules are joke rules. For example, the one making a documentary says you can't pick your nose while you're wearing the pants. Another one of the rules is don't double cuff them. That's tacky. Somebody else says you can't wash the pants.

And the other girls say that's stupid. We're going to wash the pants. Are they jeans? Yeah. You don't need to wash jeans. You can freeze them. That's tacky. Somebody else says you can't wash the pants. And the other girls say, that's stupid. We're gonna wash the pants. Are they jeans? Yeah. You don't need to wash jeans. You can freeze them. They also say that everything that happens while you're wearing the pants, we have to write letters to each other about what was happening while we were in the pants. Free internet. Yeah, we do. And also that

anything that happens, you need to put on the pants. You need to sew onto the pants. That's a chronology of your time in the pants. These are the most fucked up rules I have ever heard. And I do not understand how you didn't remember any of them. Like a quilt. Like the Bouvier quilt from the Simpsons.

Yeah, exactly. A family quilt, but family pants. Sisterhood pants. Sisterhood pants. Okay, so we're getting really lost. These rules are so fucked. Please, let's hear them. Okay, so the first two Jackson did cover.

One, you must never wash the pants. Don't wash the pants. They're magic. I get it. Two, you must never double cuff the pants. It's tacky. There will never be a time when this is not tacky. Yeah.

Three, you must never say the word fat whilst wearing the pants. Point of order, when they say this, everyone's like, we're talking about you, Carmen. And she's like, come on, guys. No, no, no. So the next part's about her. Yeah. You must also never think to yourself, I am fat whilst wearing these pants. Body positivity.

Back in 2005. It's nice. Are you a normal woman? You're not fat. Body positivity. Body positivity. Back in 2005, it's nice. Are you a normal woman? You're not fat. Body positivity. Body positivity. It's progress. One step forward.

You must never let a boy take off the pants. Oh, that's true. You gotta take off the pants yourself. Although you may take them off yourself in his presence. Yeah. How old are these teens? 16, 17. Yeah, look, I can't talk.

If they're fucking other teens, that's fine. Well, anyway, we'll get into it. Five, you must never pick your nose whilst wearing the pants. You may, however, scratch casually at your nostril while really kind of picking. Is there someone like a nickname when their primary school was Booger? No, they're like, we're going to make rules for the pants.

And one of the girls, the documentary girl, she's like an alt girl. And she's like, this is fucking stupid. And so they're like, make a rule. And that's her rule.

But it's like a joke. Gotcha. Six, upon our reunion, you must follow the proper procedure for documenting your time in the pants. On the left leg of the pants, write the most exciting place you have been whilst wearing the pants. This must be from the book. They don't go into this much detail regarding the pants rules.

On the right leg of the pants, write the most important thing that has happened to you whilst wearing the pants. Oh my God. For example, I hooked up with my second cousin, Ivan, whilst wearing the traveling pants. You should never. That doesn't happen in the movie. Hey, no. When you're doing an EG and you have looking up and then cousin, no matter how many, like, first, second, third, you shouldn't have that. That's a hostile EG.

Just a little little word from us to you guys when you have a when there's a bloodline and then you share it yeah maybe

maybe don't maybe don't say it out don't tell anyone that would be like if I was like if I was like hey PSA

always urinate after having sex it prevents infection and it cleanses everything For example, after you fuck your dad Make sure to piss Hostile EG

I'm already thrown Seven You must write to your sisters throughout the summer No matter how much fun you're having without them They do that, that's good They follow the pants rule Eight You must pass the pants

along to your sisters according to the specifications set down by the sisterhood. Failure to comply will result in severe spanking upon our reunion. Yes.

What the fuck is up with this? They also, it's a very strange scene, just get, they take off their pants in the store to try on the pants.

They don't go into a change room. They just fully swap pants in the store to try on the pants. They don't go to a change room. They just fully swap pants in the store. That's fine. In the middle of the fucking storefront? I mean, like, it's a movie. You got me there, bro. Yeah, like, I mean, if I'm trying on a jacket, I might not go to the change rooms.

But pants? If I'm maybe trying on, like, say... A shirt? A shirt or, like, a long-sleeved, like, shirt that will go over another thing. Are you going to go down to your underderps? Well, if I'm wearing a singlet, I'll take off my long-sleeved shirt and put on that shirt. I think that's all right.

Fair enough. But, yeah, taking off my pants to just be in my derps. It was a shock. It was a shock to see him in their derps in the middle of a... Yeah, I don't know at any age I would do that. I think if I'm doing it now, wall security would be in call. Yeah, I don't know at any age I would do that. I think if I'm doing it now, law security is being called. Yeah, yeah.

And back then, shameful. I don't know. I don't know if there's any era or age I would have been like, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, they're very casual about it. Just to get out of my dubs. Nine. You must not wear the pants with a tucked in shirt and belt. C rule two.

Yeah, tacky. It's tacky. Always tacky. Always tacky. And then ten. The final. Yeah, just can't be tucked in. Ten. Remember, pants equal love.

Love your pals. Love yourself. Oh, okay. And then there is a subsequent rule listed in the movie, rule 11, that they put in place in the end. Whoever needs the pants most gets the pants. Anyway. So the pants, they just fit you.

Well, that's, but they also- And then they do a seance. Then they make the rules for the pants. But they're also like, these are magic pants. Obviously. Yeah. Because they're like- They fit everyone.

They fit everyone. These pants are fucking special. Anyway, then they go in to wear the pants throughout the craziest summers of their lives. And they wear the pants. Whenever they put on the pants, they experience a pivotal moment in their coming of age. For example, one of the girls, the one who stayed behind to make a documentary, meets a little girl with leukemia who then later is dying in hospital.

And she brings the pants to her. And is like, take the pants to her and is like, take the pants. The pants will fix your cancer. Do they? Do they? So she dies in the pants? She doesn't put the pants on.

So really? They didn't test it properly. It's on the girl. But it was a crazy scene. Use an arrow. Yeah, exactly. Did she make a documentary about the leukemia girl? Yeah, in the end. Yeah, exactly. Did she make a documentary about the leukemia girl?

Yeah, in the end. She's like trying to make a documentary. So she's like, I'm making a documentary about everyone in my hometown, but I don't know what the fucking documentary is going to be about. Then she bumps into the leukemia girl, and she doesn't realize she has leukemia. And the leukemia girl is like, let me make a movie with you. And she's like, oh, my God, this little kid. And then she sends the pants away.

And in her letter, she's like, the pants don't do shit. They just made me meet this kid who's fucking annoying. How do the pants make her meet the kid? She's wearing them when she meets the kid. And then later on, she's like, oh, but the pants connected me to this girl who made me appreciate life and live

less with a kind of sense of ironic detachment. I'm 16. And so she's like, oh, these pants will fix you, girl who's having cancer. And the girl's like, no, thank you. I don't want the pants. And then she died. Okay, so she goes to the girl.

I just feel now that I'm mad at the, I don't know. You're making me mad at maybe a leukemia kid. And that's not good. I guess she didn't try and put the pants on and the pants do fit everyone. She could have worn the pants. That's what I mean. She could have worn the pants.

It's magical. The little girl, the 12-year-old girl, the pants don't fit her. I have to say. They're not that magical. She tries on the pants and they don't fit her.

I thought they were magical pants. She's not part of the system. She's not part of the system. She wasn't part of the system. But then later on, detached documentary girl, she goes to the hospital because she's like, oh my God, this little girl has leukemia. And the because she's like, oh, my God, this little girl has leukemia. And the little girl's like, oh, thank you for coming and seeing me.

But the little girl's great. She's very sassy. She's like, whatever. And then she's like, these are the pants. And the little girl's like, well, they don't fit me. And she's like, no, the magic's still going to work. Please let the magic of the pants work. But the magic of the pants is that they fit.

The pants already worked. That's how I met you. So that's one thing the pants do. Yeah, you got me. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. So then the other thing the pants do is the girl in Greece meets a hunky... Cousin?

Ivan? No, a guy named Costas. Costas? Yeah. Who's a Greek fisherman. He's a good name. He's a good name. He should be fucking a Costas by the police by the sounds of things.

He is in university. When you say he, they make it clear he's in university. Anyway. What's university in Greece? What age? What age are you going to university? I'm going to guess the same age you usually go to university. So she.

Unfortunately, I don't know. Well, I mean, fortunately for me and my personal brand, but I can't answer the other age question you have about Greece. I don't want to Google it. So she's wearing the pants, the girl in Grease, and she falls into the water. Oh, no. And the pants.

Wet pants. She's the first person to wear the pants. One, to me, this counts as washing the pants, but that's fine. And she gets caught under the water and nearly drowns. She tears the pants. But Costa saves her her and he makes her hold a fish because he's got

a bunch of fish. And he's like, help me throw this fish away and she's like, ew. And then he's like, no, it's good. And she holds the fish

and throws it in the water. I thought that was part of the saving aspect to save her life. Hold fish! Then you get power on fish! Then you can throw it!

Then it turns out I'm Costas, I got kicked in the head by a Greek horse! It turns out that Costas, because of an incident involving fish and money, Costas' family and Sisterhood Girl's family are in a Romeo and Juliet type situation. But then by wearing the pants. You said the movie was good.

By wearing the pants, she helps movie was good By wearing the pants She helps resolve Years Generations of generational trauma So she is From Like a Generation A family is Greek

And she falls in love with Costas The cousins right Well It's unclear And they kiss on a boat And she's like I've had a wonderful time The other girl gets the pants

The one who went to soccer camp And she How long is summer holiday? Like three months. She, soccer camp girl, desperately wants to sleep with a boy who is also, I think he's a coach. I don't know his age.

Anyway. There's a lot of alarm bells that are going off. She does. These are fucking, the power of pedophilia by the sounds of things. She does sleep with the coach. These bats will attract all the men. I don't know how we're going to market that.

She does end up sleeping with him, but it's not all she thought it was going to be cracked up to be. She's like, this wasn't so awesome. And that happens while she's wearing the pants too. And then the guy comes later and he's like, sorry, I was too fast. And she happens while she's wearing the pants too. And then the guy

comes later and he's like, sorry, I was too fast. And she's like, yeah. And he's like, hey. Because you know, it's both our first time as we're both teenagers, right? It's unclear. That's what he said, right? Well, then he says when you're 20 and famous at soccer, come meet me at university.

Anyway, then Carmen, she gets the pants, and she goes and finds out that her dad, get this, he's got a brand new family because her parents are divorced. And the brand new family, it's they don't accept her. Sibby's last name's Tomko. Sibby Tomko. Sorry, please continue

Carmen's family don't accept her and there's a scene where they're trying on wedding dresses because her dad's getting married and they put her in a dress that pretty much fits her and everyone's like damn this woman is morbidly obese but it just it fits her

she looks fine she yells at them and throws a rock at their window, and that's great. And she wears the pants the whole time, and they send the pants between each other. Those pants, over the course of one summer, go to grease and back twice. That's a lot of traveling for these pants.

That's some pretty good postage. So does she make out with her missing stepbrother? No. She doesn't get a boyfriend. So her seminal moment in summer is throwing a rock at a window

at her dad and her dad's other family because she can't confront her dad she's angry at him but she can't do it but then when she

wears the pants she finally kind of blows up at him throws the rock at the window and then she also wears the pants

when she calls him and confronts him on the phone I'm pretty sure so hers is standing up for herself and being like, Dad, what the fuck? One, you made a kid with leukemia. One, you get to kiss a boy. One, you get to yell at your dad.

And the other one was, I forgot. The one you get to finally... Soccer camp. Fuck your coach. You get to fuck your coach, but it's actually not so awesome. But it helps you grow as a person. Despite relationships between coaches and camp as being forbidden, Bridget floods with Eric and seeks his attention during games.

Does it say age? It just says he's the coach and that it's forbidden to be with the coach. Look, A, there's a position of power there. That's true. Which is, again, another alarm bell. I will say that the actors that portrayed both characters...

Yes? So Blake Lively's younger than I thought she was. Yes. Their real life age gap between Blake Lively and the actor who plays Eric Richman. Richman.

No, wrong guy. So she's 36 and he's 44. Hey. Okay. Anyway, then they get back. They all meet up again together. So 17. Or maybe.

Okay. Cool. We don't know their ages in the movie. We don't know their ages in the movie we don't know their ages in the movie we don't know what they're trying to say how is Blake Lively only like a couple of years older than me and you you're the same age as me

and younger than you I have them about to myself what do you mean obviously she looks delightful and we look like shit yeah dude 100% but I feel like she's been acting for 100 years Obviously, she looks delightful and we look like shit. Yeah, dude. A hundred percent. But I feel like she's been acting for a hundred years.

Well, she's just been acting since she was in her teens. Yeah. Probably earlier. Actually, yeah. Guess what her first movie was? Wow. Sister of the Driving Panther. Yeah.

And that was in 2000. Five. And how old were you in 2000? Five? Fourteen. Fourteen. And the actor that she has to have a sex scene with is eight years old, are you saying? I don't think they actually show the sex scene.

Okay, good. Hey, that's something. They did kiss, though. Don't look up how old Costas was, because that guy looked like he could have been 40. Costas. Why does it feel like you've come to us with a crime? I just wanted to talk about these magical pants that possess the power of womanhood.

And then we ask one question about what the pants do, and you're like, they make you sleep with older men who should be in jail. I know that Greek ladies sleep with Costas. They just kiss on a boat. Still not good. The only information about

the actor who plays Costas is that he's only really in those two movies, and he's a vegan. His personal life tab literally just says, he's a vegan. That's awesome. Isn't Jay Edgar? That was his return to the silver screen.

Was it a triumphant return? He played Agent Jones. Anyway, then the sisterhood reunite. They reunite. silver screen. Was it a triumphant return? He played Agent Jones. Anyway, then the sisterhood reunite. They reunite. He's in one episode, which means he's either the killer or the body. And they need to get Carmen to her dad's wedding. They give her the pants, because she needs them the most, as per the pants rules. As per rule 10.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they drive all the way to the wedding, and the dad says, hey, I've been a real sack of eggs. Come and come stand up here with me. They reunite. Yeah. The sisters gather together, and they say, hey, no matter where we go in this life, no matter what changes come, no matter if we separate as people, if we go in different directions, we'll always be bound by these traveling pants. Yeah. And that's where the movie ends. Now, so we have always be bound by these traveling pants yeah

and that's where the movie ends now so we have pants okay we got pants the pants fit anybody as long as they are in the sisterhood yeah and

the pants if you wear them you will experience a moment of growth in your coming of age I don't know how we would describe it like that but sure

okay yeah let's call it a moment of growth it's a pivotal because you know which girl is Greek girl? What are the names? The last one. Oh, Lena? Yeah, Lena.

She's Greek girl. Same age. Same age. As Costas? Whoa! He looks so old! That's crazy, dude. I guess he's been hanging out in that Mediterranean sun, fair enough. Yeah, because it's Rory from Gilmore Girls. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, both actors are born in 81. Well, there you go. Hey, that's good stuff. In the movie, they make it so that's not the case. Yeah, hang on. That's good stuff. In the movie, they're very clear that he's at university. So there's a six age gap between Blake Lively and...

No, no, no. Six as in like those two girls have the same day. So yeah, I guess we can't use real life ages. Let's just assume all the men are 30. Good idea. Because when you first, before we started, you were like, okay. I love these pants and it's so magic.

Oh, what's the episode? You're like, oh, how are you going to buy these pants? We're like, okay, what do they do? And you're like, okay. I love these pants, and it's so magic. Oh, what's the episode? You're like, oh, how are you going to buy these pants? We're like, okay, what do they do? And you're like, oh, same for the episode. Jack, I got at least a little bit of a thing. You're like, they give you the best day of your life. That's not what I said. I said they're there for a pivotal moment in your life.

Yeah, it's kind of like, oh. Pivotal isn't good or bad. It's neutral. They fit you. It's a pivotal moment. Honestly, I was like, oh, I've got a silly, wacky idea. Now I'm like, you know what? I'm going to try.

Maybe you can use these to maybe catch a predator. Catch a predator pants. Because fuck me, Jackson. That's what the sisterhood did with him. Don't blame me. It's not the pants' fault. I'm on the side

of the pants. The pants are neutral. The pants are neutral. It might be the pants' fault. 50%. I don't like those odds. They should have thrown those pants out of dark power. They had an evil in them.

Well, let's see. Can we up this to 100%? Or at least some kind of like, well, it's definitely with yelling at dad. It's like yelling at authority. So yelling'm gonna father figure or yelling at an older man And maybe they killed that little girl. There's an older man connection there the little girl having A boy he's a gamer boy when you say she

Came in the documentary girl. She meets a boy. Huh? He's a gamer boys playing. What's that game Kings layer? the documentary girl. She meets a boy. Uh-huh. He's a gamer boy. He's playing, what's that game, Kingslayer?

Uh-huh. Kings, where you're served some fucking thing? The one that's like a cartoony kind of thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. King's Quest? King's Quest.

The one where you die all the time? Kings, whatever. He's playing that and they all grow to, you know, enjoy each other's company but there's no romance

necessarily. How old is he? It's unclear. He seems about the same age. I don't understand why you love this movie. And I don't understand why these pants are special. You wear the pants and you experience a pivotal moment in your life. You keep saying that.

Pivotal could be good or bad. If I put Dusha in the traveling pants And then stabbed him That's pivotal dude That's gonna change our relationship Dude I don't know if I was lost In my little machine when you brought this If you did bring this up but did you mention that the pants Maybe make one of the girls consider Killing themselves

That's not necessarily in the movie explicitly It's in the plot of the movie part I'm reading the movie one now It's in the plot of the movie part. I'm reading the movie one now. Is that the soccer camp girl? Yeah. I'm guessing the pants were like, we missed the opportunity to suck the life force out of the leukemia girl.

Gotta get it somewhere. But that's helping her deal. These pants seem like trauma pants, to be honest. After Bridget, who's soccer girl, loses her virginity to the coach, she becomes deeply depressed and has mood swings. And it's like, oh no, this has made me realize that I'm just like my mother, who killed herself.

But then she gets together with the sisterhood. And they say, you're better than your mother. Yeah, with the pants. That's a moment of growth. The pants are good. I think the pants are not good. I think the pants are some sort of paltry being that is sucking the life force of teenage girls. It's so funny to cheer up one of your friends being like, no, your mother was spineless and stupid.

You're so much stronger than that dumb fucking idiot. Thanks, girls. Thanks, girls. She had heaps of reasons to kill herself. You don't. I don't know if this helps, but in that scene, a dog takes the pants. And the dog takes the pants outside and then delivers the pants to the boy she lost her virginity to at soccer camp. And then he takes the pants from the dog.

And then she's like, why are you coming here? And he's like, I wanted to apologize. I really fucked up that lovemaking. That was my bad. Okay. Hey, I'm not apologizing because I abused my position of power. Hey, I'm not apologizing because, hey, look at me, I'm a big piece of shit. No, no, no.

I'm apologizing because of that root. Yeah. Well, he's like, I could have been gentler, pretty much is what he says. Yeah. These are evil pants. I don't like these pants. The pants did nothing wrong. And just to make things a little bit worse, the girls are 15.

One of them says they're 17 in the movie. They lie. That's the plot point. You weren't watching. It's the soccer girl. I was eating paella at the same time. She lies and says she's 17 so that the coach is like, but she's 15. That's crazy.

Fuck these pants, dude. These pants seem like they have a very dark energy. You're saying they're just pants, but I don't know. Whenever you perform a seance, usually it's about, you know, generally maybe something went wrong. I don't know. Evil spirit possesses these pants. You think when they did the seance, they accidentally put something in the pants?

I think the pants begun evil. I could imagine because the thing they say that makes the pants magic is that they fit America Ferrera. Who is a normal-sized person their pants could have conceivably fit? So maybe the pants are just pants, and then when they do a seance on the pants, the pants go evil. They possess the pants. Yeah, because does anyone else wear the pants? Only the little girl with leukemia. And they don't fit her.

They don't fit her. Again, maybe not magical pants. Or they're not magic, not the right word. Evil, evil, evil pants. Yeah, and maybe because maybe the little girl was close to, you know, had leukemia, was close to death. Maybe she could sense it. She wants to wear the pants.

No, no, no, no, no. She tries the pants on, but, yeah, maybe when she tries the pants on, she's like, there's a darkness in these pants that I shouldn't be wearing. Okay. So the boy's ages are never established in any of the, in the book or the movie. Uh-huh. But Eric is in his second year of college.

Yeah. Which is. That's a, that's like, you could be like, you could be any age really in your second year. Yeah. 20's not good. Yeah, so she's... I'm not here. It's not good.

What is second year of college in America? Second year of college in America would be 19 or 20. Yeah. And Costas is about to start university, so he's probably 18. But both of the people... The girls are still 15, though. It doesn't really make it better, huh? I'm guessing because she lies and says she's 17 that Eric is probably 19.

Yes, I think that would probably check you out. Because people always go to that weird two-year thing. I still don't think it's the pants. I don't want to sell these crime pants. I'll sell the pants. Initially, I was like, oh, yeah, maybe they could fit everything and you can have like a pivotal moment in your life. I'm like, well, there is like you could maybe give it to a dog or some kind of horse. Let them wear pants.

It'll fit them and they'll have a wonderful summer. Now I'm like, maybe they're occult pants. summer. Now I'm like, maybe they're occult pants. Maybe we can start like a multi-level marketing pyramid scheme, but with pants! Okay. Now I'm like, I wanna

burn the pants. I wanna perform some sort of exorcism and excommunicate them pants from my life. So it has been established. Again, we're just back to ages. I do have an answer now. Yeah. Eric confirmed 19.

Okay. Not good. Costas confirmed 18. Not good. Not good. None of these are good. Not good. So you want to burn the pants.

Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. I'm trying to think of what you can do with these evil pants that Jackson loves. How to catch a potato. I think that's a good way. I think this is what we do is we do this to be like, look, there are some horrible people around the world. Some of them are teaching.

Some of them are. All right. Here we do this. We are starting up some sort of summer camp. We need counselors. We need coaches. We need people to help around the camp. Yeah. So we get these

parents to really weed out the perverts. Do you wear the pants? No. I'm not a teenage girl. I just don't know what would happen. I don't know if we could enter a sisterhood to make the pants work. We need to get, you know,

unfortunately, we gotta get us out of jail. You're going down a fucking hard road. You're going down the worst path here. You've got these evil pants, and just being around them has made you a honeypotter teenage girl. I'm just trying to weed out the perverts. Am I the pervert? Oh, no.

Her pants are already worn. I don't think there is anything. You live long enough to become the villain now. Batman was wrong. Oh, no. Her pants are already wet. I don't think there is a... Oh, you live long enough to become the villain. Pow-pow was wrong. I really, really don't think there is an ethical reason to use a teenage girl as a trap. We don't use a teen... What we do is we get these people.

We put them in a glass cabinet. And then in the interview, they are on display over there. And if we see any motherfucker asking questions, well, we call the goddamn cops and we're like, check his laptop. But I'd be like sitting in the interview being like, can't wait to look at this camera. What's so special about it? Why have they got those pants on display?

Pervit detector. Pervit detector. I would be going to jail and I wouldn't know why. We're calling the police. Is it illegal to look at your pants? These pants? Yes. For these ones?

Yeah. Yeah. You think there's no ethical way to use the pants? Well, the best thing that happens to any of these girls is they watch someone die. Yeah, dude. Yes. But it's not good. It's not a good moment in your life.

It's a pivotal moment in your life. Why am I trying to sell horrible moments to people? Because you could grow like that. Dusha puts on the pants. I stab him. Dusha's like, I don't need to be friends with that man anymore. Growth. That's not...

Trauma's not necessarily growth. A traumatic experience isn't like this will definitely make your life better. That's true. Ifuma is not necessarily growth. A traumatic experience isn't like, this will definitely make your life better. That's true. If that happened, people would be out fucking... Having a horrible time being like, yeah, I'm going to have one horrible year, and then I'm going to have fucking ten awesome ones.

Good for the rest of my life. One good friend comes in, talks to his other two good friends about a thing that he thinks is great, and then he loses that friendship. This is what the pants would have helped with, see? I think they already know the trick, dude. Yeah, they're already working.

We're all growing as a result of the sisterhood of the traveling pants plumbing the desktop. Everybody's growing from this. The pants work. I just don't know how I could morally, ethically sell a pant where, yes, the best

thing that could happen to you is you watch a child die. Yes. But it's for the best in your life. You needed to watch that child die. Because she was irony poisoned. And now she's like, hey, life's worth living. Why do I need to watch that child die. Because she was irony poisoned. And now she's like, hey, life's worth living.

Why do I need to watch a kid die to learn a lesson? Something is seriously wrong with me. The pants decided it was so. His pants are evil. I think the pants are good. Or neutral at best. The fucking, it's like someone read from the Necromacon and the pants came to life.

Where the pants made from human skin. It's like some kind from the Necromacon And the pants came to life Where the pants made from human skin It's like some kind of Ed Gein pants I think the pants are just regular pants I don't think they are At the end the pants are covered in a tapestry Of their life experiences What happens to the other books? And movies

Full on left leg right leg of crimes I think they have the sun for the beautiful, for Greece. Uh-huh. The time she went to Greece. Oh, yeah, sun. Probably a soccer ball for the time she went to Socom. And got abused. Yeah, it's nice when you look at something like, oh, yeah, beautiful sun,

because, again, it's something to attract yourself. It's a way of coping. It's a way of, yeah, really just, yeah, yeah. They keep those pants for a very long time. Those pants are there for a... He's a troll of pants, Jack. He's a troll of pants. Alright, what if the pants just fit anyone?

What about that? If the pants have got nothing to... Say those things are going to happen anyway. What about pants that fit anyone? This is going to really burst your bubble. Because this is the reason you watched the movie. Because you're obsessed with the idea of these pants. Pants can fit anybody.

Jackson. Yes. Tracksuit pants have a drawstring and they can fit most people. Yes. And on top of that, people don't share pants very often. I think more people should. You can. Well, no one's doing it with me. We could buy a pair of tracksuit pants.

Yeah. We could become the brotherhood of the traveling pants. And we could. We could. Yeah, we could. We could if we wanted to. Would you share pants with me? Yeah, sure.

But I just wouldn't get any joy out of it. Because the way it works with the girls is that you use the pants. Yeah. Once you've used the pants, you send them to somebody else. So if I use the pants, what was the rule where it was like no washing? See, that's the one, especially if they're tracksuit pants. I don't know. Can I use a black light first?

I suppose. You still can't wash them. But you can fall in a river wearing them. Yeah, you're allowed to nearly drown wearing the tracksuit pants. Then you get to hold a fish. Okay, I'll wear them if I can go into a river with a bar of soap. Okay, I'll allow that. But if I wore the pants, I'd say I have a beautiful summer somewhere.

No, this is what's going to happen. You wear the pants, you get hit by a train or something, and you're like, damn, learn a lesson. Oh, it's a pivotal moment. I love these pants. Stay away from trains, I guess. Then I send you the pants. Yeah. Are you wearing the pants? I'm not seeing what you're like, damn, learn a lesson. It's a pivotal moment. I love these pants. Stay away from trains, I guess. Then I send you the pants. Yeah.

Are you wearing the pants? I'm not seeing what you're doing. No, I know. The whole thing is like you gotta. You gotta wear the pants. If I'm participating in something like this, sure, I'm wearing the pants. I'm lying and said I wore the pants, but I didn't.

That's what I'm scared of. Then you gotta write to me and tell me what happened while you were wearing the pants. Hey, brother, nothing. Yeah, I will think. Fuck these pants. I will think of something. Yeah, I will think. Fuck these pants. I will think of something. There may be something that was good.

I ate a really good spaghetti. I had a good spaghetti. That's great. I found a tenner on the road, maybe. Oh, my God. Yeah. These pants, maybe there's something special about these pants. I don't know.

That's a lie. I'd let you leave that lie. Thanks, guys. It's kind of you. There's nothing special about pants that fit people. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel.

This movie was exciting to me, and then by the end of it, no, it wasn't. Well, yeah, burn those pants. Jackson, are you going to watch the sequel? Yes. And then the musical that's coming out, and then the third one. Okay, so now I know you're lying to me. I'll try and watch the musical. You're going to go to the theater to watch a Sisterhood of the Traveling

Pants musical. Yeah? You're going to do, yeah. That was a straight up lie. When was the last time you saw a musical? I don't know if I've ever done it. It's Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, like that's going to be my number one. That's my first. And the pants you wear. Those will be special pants. When you see them, those are going to be the pants

you gift me and I lie about wearing. There's nothing special about pants that fit multiple people. That's the whole fucking thing with pants. There's a size. Well.