Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Rig A Game Show?

Episode Date: October 19, 2025

GAME SHOW EPISODE! But also how to commit credit card fraud and also some medical information about pissing cum?Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time to Real Talk. We are on. It is the return of Real Talk. My attorney's not going to like that. They want what we have, and that's being successful. Is that what I really sound like? Is that what I really look like from behind? Fishing can be cut-broke-fishery.

If I could train the birds to be on the billionaire's boats, Life would be good. I never called him daddy either. I've heard other stories. Let's talk shit. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. acast.com. Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star.

I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also, Joe. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast. and I'll see important questions like How'd your Wrig a game show? Yeah. Point of order on this question.

Okay, before we get to it. Yeah. Now, often I feel like I cop shit. You do. Because I say I get this idea. Yeah. And then the idea comes out and you get a sort of,

Kenny Rogers the game. Yeah. Yeah. where the idea is so bad it destroys the episode. We have to rise it Phoenix-like from the ashes. And then other other times we get in this kind

episode. Yeah. Where Joldo pitches us something and has pitched many times a question did to me, to my eyes, as a sort of pop culture scholar like we are, does not seem terribly related to pop culture at large.

It does seem related to things that happened in real life. Which then they become pop culture, I guess. I'm wondering, I'm like, is there a film that perhaps came out recently? Is this the premise of slumdog millionaire?

It's why he's like, did J.D. watch Slumdog? Did he watch Magnolia? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was definitely a game show host or game show element. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there other films? Did he watch some strange movie on the streaming platform, Mooby? Yeah, Humble?

or whatever. Did he get on the streaming platform Grombo for fake movies? Did he watch an episode? Like, did he just happen to come across? I don't know. Wheel of Fortune or Sale of the Century. Did he watch 40 gifts

of an episode of CSI in which this happened? Yeah. It's truly a mystery. And it's got nothing to do with the fact that I'm like, I like scheme episodes. And there is countless movies about bringing games shows.

Or just game shows in general Slumdog Millionaire is about a game show Not rigged though, that's just he just wins He just knows, mate How funny is this? Let's talk about what just happened then Okay, dude she says there's many movies about And I say, ringing a game show And you go, no

And I go, yeah, like Slumdog Millionaire And you go, that's not about rigging a game show I was agreeing with you Your instincts are so hardwired To yell at me And even if I'm on your side, You turn it back against you. Yeah, I don't want to be on that side, though.

You're trying to avoid me, dude. My side's good. Well, I would... This was also on my mind because, uh, rest in peace to actor Robert Redford, who directed a very famous movie called Quiz Show. Okay. Which is about rigging a game show.

Okay. All right. Pop culture. All right. Pop culture, dude. It counts. Here we... It's past the Robert Redford test.

And sure, I pitched this episode before Robert Redford had died. But I had seen quiz show. recently. Also, fairly sure I probably watched a YouTube video about rigging game shows. Can't remember how anyone did it except for that who wants to be a millionaire guy who did coughing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that

coughing. Oh, coughing. The audience coughing in to say, yeah, which, is it A, B, and he goes, oh, fuck, I don't fucking know Eddie McGuire. So, A. Sorry, shut up, Eddie. I'm listening. B?

Eddie, shut your mouth. I'm trying to hear. C. Eddie, can I just get D, please? Yeah, don't worry about D. All right. I think I got to see. Oh, yeah, I'd like to lock in C.

It must have felt crazy to be the guy listening back and hearing the cough. You would have felt like it was a bunch of audience. Like, as a viewers at home were like... No, no, no, it was before I had. It was the producer. Because basically, what gave it away, the tell was not the... They didn't notice the coughs straight. away. It was like that funny

riff we just did, that'd be like oh, fuck. Like, I don't know. Can you hear them again? Well, yeah, it would be like, would read them out and be like, A, no, no, no, no. But also, clearly had no fucking idea, and then all of a sudden we're just really confidently walked up again.

Damn, dude. Well, considering you watched a video about raking game shows, and I like to imagine you watched this as part of a plan for your real life. So with all of that in mind, knowing that I watched very grounded show, a movie cliche that had wonderful performances

directed by Robert Redford. I think the easiest way to rig a game show, provided I have the right equipment as I answer the question. Batman rules. Batman rules you've got as much prep time as you need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm going to need quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They ask a question. I go, hmm, I'd step in the time machine. Okay. And whatever is. But Whatever answer I say, if it's, so I'm playing, normal, right or wrong, and if it's right, whatever.

If it's wrong, then I have to go back in time. Okay, so I say, welcome to another episode of right or wrong, the game show where I ask you a question, and you have to give me the right answer or the wrong answer. And if it's wrong, you go home with nothing, and if it's right, you win. You get one million dollars.

Everybody said a game show that took five minutes to do would not make money. And I've yet to be proven right. Let's hope the first episode does not tank my company right or wrong PtyY LTD. Okay. Well, like, just give me an example of, like, what you would expect, like, a quiz show answer. Because I, like, if I'm watching who wants to be a millionaire or Jeopardy or something like that. Yeah.

My general knowledge, like, I'm backing myself to get some right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm not going to confidently sit here and be like, yeah, yeah, I'd get to fucking half a million bucks easy. And then I use my lifeline to call. my friend and say, brother, guess what? Here, speak to Eddie. It's Eddie Maguire.

He's a prick. Okay, so what is it? He's a pricked. It's going to give me a million dollars. Lock in D. Aren't you, Eddie? You piece of shit. We will not air this episode.

No, I hate you. I'm going to win a million bucks and then put you in a headlock, Eddie McGuire. I hate you so much. I'm going to afford a million dollars to give you a noogie. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to give the money back in the lawsuit that I will definitely lose because I'm going to insult you in front of cameras. But God, It's going to feel good. Okay, so, I got which one of these is a quadrangle? Is it a square? Is it a circle?

Is it a triangle? Or is it an octagon? Square. Oh my God, it's correct. Whoa, well, no. You don't need to use your time machine. Yeah, so that one was right. In the 16th century, I think,

Leonardo da Vinci drew this famous drawing of the what man? Is it A? No, it's right or wrong? quiz show is going right or wrong. We're talking about who wants to be in the... I'm so sorry. Okay. Yeah, so. It's, uh, fuck. Um, and then... Can't say fuck on the quiz show.

The shit, dude. Sorry, time out. Time out. Hey, man, you got to stop. Sorry, family friendly. Give me one second. Sorry, I'm a bit stressed. Yeah, it's okay. This show is, I know it's for the streaming platform, plubby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is 15 second episodes. That's why it's just one question. And it's still no swearing situation. We want it to be funny with the children. Yeah, just give me one second. Okay. And then I leave.

And my time machine's right there. But so you're like, you can't just leave. Yeah, you can't just leave right or wrong. But first, so what I'm going to do. Do you need to piss, sir? So, first, I'm standing in the podium. Yeah. And that, hmm, no, this isn't going on.

I'll tell you what the setup is for right or wrong. I'm suspended above you in the hardest. Fuck, that makes it hard. Okay. And I've just been absolutely rotating around you. like in a fucking high school production of Peter Pan and I'm giving you the question as I'm

floating around you and you're in a chair in the middle. Sorry, I'm approaching this the wrong way. I just realized my scheme got confused for a second. So you asked me the question one once I'm in the 16th century Leonardo da Vinci created the famous drawing the... I knew they give it away.

The what man? I think it's the virgin man. Incorrect. Oh fuck. I'll see you guys later. I leave. I go and get into my car, which just happens to be a time machine. Okay, you peel out of the, and I go, he was angry, he lost. And then I go back in time to the 16th century.

Yeah. Mama Mia! I'm Leonardo da Vinci. And then... Kill of this man. No, no, Da Vinci. Show me this drawing of the somethingth man. Oh, this is my new drawing.

I call him the Vitruvian man. Yes, yes. He looks like he could be a virgin man. No. And then Da Vinci leaves He leaves Scrub off the name

You're right virgin man Or I wait for him to die I got a time machine I got all the time in the world He dies I change it I go Actually in his notes He originally said

What I love about this is I don't know You got so many steps You go back He goes It is the Vitruvian man And then you don't For some reason

Go back and do the quiz show Again with the right answer You go My wrong answer Right So you change it so that it's the, so you change it, so it's always been the Virgin Man. Yeah. So then you create a branching timeline.

And so in that timeline, you go, the virgin man. And then, as Jacks is spitting around. One million. One question. Yeah. Wow. And not particularly hard questions. Anyway, I go, thank you so much.

So you're changing reality every time. But it was so funny. Because you come back and they don't go, in the 16th, they go, in the 16th century, this famous painting by Leonardo DeVurgy was defaced long after his death, changing the name from his original sort of title to the what man? A virgin. Oh, correct. One million dollars.

Woo! Like, if you've gone back in time enough to change the reality. Yeah, imagine if Jackson's quiz show had five questions. Yeah. I'm creating five branching time and just get some bucks. Well, you're not just that. But you go back in time to then go to, like, you know, lead out of the DaVichy and to be like, you know,

hit him with your car or whatever. You wanted to change that to the Virgin Man. And you leave. The idea of me being like, the way that I'm going to change the history is like, okay, so the name of the painting, it's like, okay. Yeah. I am going to kill him. With my car.

And then just cross it out of the time and be like, this is my last will and test of it. Oh, okay. I leave Joel Dushar. My ancestor. I just love the idea of you heard him with your cars. He's, like, passing a street, holding the painting, and it treads, and you just get out looking at me, like, fuck.

What there? Fuck, dude. Did he have any copies of this? Shit, surely. Yeah, he'd have to have a couple copies, like on the Xerox or whatever. Surely, dude. Or you'd, like, park your car somewhere in ancient Venice, go to his, you know, study, come back your cars missing.

Fuck, fuck, street urchins. Fuck. They took it apart. He got me again. There's going to be some fucking. Venetian street urchin traveling through time in your car.

And you wouldn't know if we'd be making alternate realities right at the season. He's going to fuck up reality so bad. You're never getting back home. You've got to just get by

in 16th century Venice. How do you get back as well? Every moment I'm stuck in 16th century Venice, I just have happy thoughts about whatever this street urchin is doing traveling through time.

just that. Like if you go back in time, you change the answer from the Vitruvian man to the virgin man, and then like, well, are you in you go then, I guess you're going back in time. I go back in time. To your timeline, but then it's you watching yourself in that timeline. You're not going to like my answer here, but I'm going to go back in time to brain yourself. No. I'm just going to go sit in the studio audience. So however many questions are, I'll be able to tell how many times I have to change history because there'll be like five of me or whatever. So there's five Luscious

But also you're really banking on the fact That if you're by going back in time And changing that one small thing That everything lines up That you in like the far future End up on this game show And they have these questions I'm confident on that

Yes you're right But you don't think it's more Even if his plan as he describes it works The security guard letting in the crowd It's like They're quintoplets coming in here Sorry quintoplets it's not Kintoplasts

Yeah Let's say you work letting 500 people into a room. If there's four of them, they're the exact same. I reckon. Am I checking their IDs, probably? No, you don't have to check ideas. No, IDs. Just waving them in.

They got a ticket or whatever. Yeah. You're just looking at tickets. I think I would notice five of the same man. In 500? Especially if I sit down, I go, great. I've left them in. And then I see, oh, who's coming in on right or wrong question or whatever?

I go, that's a guy that I've already seen. Didn't I let him into the crowd? Four times. And then I scared the crowd and I go, what is going on? I do guess. Okay, and also, because it's you, five times. Everyone's watching me answer the question, so if they're sitting next to me

I go. Looking at the guy and then turning to the side. Looking at me and I just go, that's my brother. Oh, okay. And every other. All of them are saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my brother with quintuplets. And then you, you have know this is going to happen, so you can be like, hey, Eddie, or hey, Jackson, I just want to give a shout out to my five

brothers in the audience tonight. We got this, boys. Here's, I don't know. So you do a quiz show. That's five questions. Right or wrong, five questions. That's right or wrong five question edition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If five questions are right, you get a million dollars. You do it. You're like, you know, oh, wrong answer. Like, you're five questions, and you're like, all the wrong answer. Humiliate yourself. Dang. Oh, no.

No, no, you go back in time. Yeah. You go back, say, half an hour before the airing or the taping. Hey, me from an hour ago. Yeah. Here are the answers. Then you go back and do it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels less likely, A, your car's not going to get stolen by a street urchin. And B, you're not going back in. So if I have a time machine to ring a quiz show, going back in time an hour and telling myself the answers, is smarter than going into 16th century Venetian changing history. Running over Leonardo to DeVinci with your car and then losing your car to a Venetian street urchin.

But imagine what is going to happen that Venetian street urchin? I mean, one, first ever... What I think is funny about that Venetian street urchin, right? Figured out how to start a car. Well, they've never seen a car before. Exactly. And the first car they get...

Yeah, that travels through time. And then if they ever go to a future period of time that has a car, they were like, I'll get in another one and travel through time. Wrong. I like to imagine the Venetian... Street Urchin gets in the car drives, first place they stop

is 9-11. They just watch 9-11 happen and they're like so upset. I should not have done this. Where is my family? What is happening? How about this is new time machine? Because again, like I don't know if you're seeing yourself and like telling yourself the answers, maybe that's going to like do something to the

time stream, yeah. Time stream or whatever. So why don't you go back in time? A little bit like say, you know, maybe just the pre-production of like a right or right answer. Right or wrong answer. Yeah, right. Five-question edition. With your time of pink power. Bless you so much, you sweet little angel.

Thank you very much. You go back into, it's his birthday. He's allowed to or whatever. Yeah, dude, of course. It sounded like it smells like a real bad one. I'm so glad I'm so far. It smells like V and fried rice. Jesus Christ.

Did you have fried rice? Yeah, for lunch. Oh, yeah, when he did your awesome lunch scheme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said, I did do a lunch scheme on the boys today. Hey, should we do that another episode or should we like, you know, like break for lunch? I'm not hungry. I'm happy to do it at that episode.

Oh, I guess maybe like, It's around lunch, we should have lunch. Oh, yeah, because I ate lunch already. I already had lunch. So that's why I'm not hungry. So listeners, I scoffed it down. Listeners, dear listeners, this is what happened. I got them good.

We were finishing up an episode. Yeah. And the episode finished. And then we're like, damn, we need to go to the bathroom. And then Jackson's like, I'll go first. I just need to piss. I hit him with a double whammy. And then he was like, a minute.

He was taken far too long. A minute or two bars were like, motherfucker is taking a shit. And he said, I'll go in first because I'm just pissing. Because like, obviously it's like, so then you're not waiting and then also you're not walking into a shit zone. You were just like, I'll shit. And then whoever I just

cut in front of, your good friend, Joel Zammett, who's pacing up and down the corridor bit, but I'm about to shit myself. Who had expressed how bad they needed to shit. And you're like, don't worry, I'm just going to piss. I'm just pissing is what I said. Sitting there, scrolling your phone. Yeah. Ignoring the

call, the pleas. And then, I'm like, well, go to the other bathroom. Yeah, yeah. So, Zahman, you shit out of lock. There were three bathrooms in this house. I'm in the, I'm in the other bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let me just read Joe Zammett's messages. You fucked me, Bailey. You fucked me. I'm going to shit my pants. This is your fault. Fuck you. And how did it feel reading that all sitting on the toilet? Well, I was washing my hands at the time.

I've done a lot of, the other day, another funny thing that happened is I was walking to do. Oh, yeah. And then me and Zahman would go and shooting separate toilets. Then we come down and we're like, should we do another episode or do lunch? And I was like, ah, and you were like, oh, I'm easy either way. I'm not really that hungry.

Yeah, I'd have lunch. That's my secret. I'd eat in lunch. You'd eat in lunch, and then you were trying to just like, yeah, don't worry about lunch. Let's just do another episode. Because like, I'm not going to be doing anything because I've already eaten lunch. Yeah, I'm bored. Yeah.

And then also the other day, it's just another funny story is I was walking across a street very close to the studio. And Zammett was at the intersection with his lovely wife honked me to say hello. Like, hon-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hug-a wave. But, motherfucker, he don't even look up. Yeah, because I was like, who's this guy honking me? I was like, leave me alone, dude. I'm just crossing the street.

I didn't want to look. I'm like, I'm doing everything right, and this motherfucker is honking me from his car. Little did I know, it was my idea for him, Joel's habit, just saying hello. He's got to give him a little wave. I was like, I'm a good guy. I'm not doing anything wrong.

Why is this guy fucking honking me? Yeah, dude. I hope, I'm glad it upset you. Yeah. It did. Yeah, good. It did. It was just like, why did you not look up?

Yeah. It was like, it wasn't like, oh, I thought we wanted to do that. And then you'd like yell at, fuck you. But there was a lovely little old lady next to him. We're like, we can't just do that. So when he's like before, oh, the classic, hung him. Yeah. You know, just a couple, like, a quick little tap.

Why is this going to honk in me? I'm honestly shocked you even. Yeah. The old lady looked over. I just registered that the honk happened. Yeah, I'm honestly shocked you even registered the fact that someone honked the horn. Yeah, yeah. We just like, he just, he just kept walking.

We were like, oh, he must have some headphones on. Yeah, no, I heard. I was just like, leave me alone. He's just got places to be. What if, what if you drop something and we were honking to give you attention? It doesn't matter. He's like, not for me. Yeah, dude.

Not for me. It wouldn't have been, whatever I've dropped, I don't need it. It was crazy to witness. Truly baffling. Anyways, what if you go back in time? Yeah, the pre-production of, you know, right question, wrong question. And again, maybe instead, like, you know, run over, say, the host with your car. Kill me.

And then you just, you become the host. So you know how that whole game show is going to be run. Is he still the contestant? Well, yeah, but it'd be him from, like, well, he's past. Yeah. Yeah, so it's a completely different guy. What? Well, to distinguish yourself, maybe you give yourself, you scar up your face or something.

Yeah. Go egg mode, man. Yeah, or you make it so the gimmick of the game show is that it's like the masked singer. But you're in a big costume. Yeah. It's the masked game show host. Yeah. So I'm asking myself questions.

But you are in a big costume so no one can tell. Right or wrong. Yeah. Yeah, that's a famous game show for wearing a big costume. Right or wrong, five questions. Costume version. You can just do it. So, yeah, you knock the host out, whatever.

Then you yourself get there. And as you're spinning around asking questions, you ask yourself very, like, you know, only question that you personally were like, oh, your Lusha, were you born on? And like, you know, like, yes, I was. Oh, you are correct. Right. Yeah.

Correct. And then all like the audience, the other producers, everyone's like, what the fuck is happening? Right question, wrong question, five answers edition featuring Lobster Man. This show's really going off the Rock. Hello, and welcome to right or wrong five question edition. I'm your host Lobster Man. And as always, I'm up. God, this show is good.

That's what everyone says about right, question, wrong question, five answer edition featuring lobster, man. Yes. Yeah. Question one. What is your favorite movie? It's funny to not even ask facts stuff. Just totally subjective questions. Yeah, you could also go back in time.

And whatever the, like, you know, depending how the show is run, maybe part of the production is like, oh, no, well, to keep things like, even the host doesn't know the answer. Yeah. Uh-huh. We're going to have like an earpiece where we feed in the questions, right? And so you try and, like, rig the game from the ground up. I'm holding it onto my color. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Feed me the air. answers too. Let me know what I've got to say. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, no, because if you're feeding the host the answers, though, you're feeding the host the question. Yeah. And then, and then, like, you know, you somehow ingrain yourself in the whole, like the whole production side of things.

And so that then when you yourself, you see yourself, like, you know, coming on, you're the next contestant, is that you are slipping, whoever is telling the host, like, to read out the questions, you're slipping them, like, you're slipping them, like, the questions that you're 100% of the answer to. So I go, hey, go, da-da-da-da-da- Welcome to Good Question Bad Question. Good Question, Bad Question.

Five Answer Edition, I'm your host Lobster Man, and as always, I'm up. Okay, our first contestant is Joel Doucher from Melbourne, Victoria. Joel Dusha, okay, and first question is... And then you would have slipped this and I go, first question, what's your favorite movie? Yeah. Really good question, Lobster Man. Thank you. Good question.

Right, okay. Yeah, he's got that good question part, like, correct, so tick. Tick. Uh-huh. Can we get an answer? Uh, it's the movie Drive. Okay, and I guess that's correct. Yes.

Ding, ding! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another slip of a little note to be like, all right. How long till I got suspicious? I mean, I guess I'm just the host-wob's demand, so I'm, you know... Hosts have gotten suspicious of stuff like that in game shows before. Yeah. Well, I guess you could also then, you know, you're

as if you are in that, the man in that chair, the personal, like, leaking those a, you know, those questions, you just, rather than get subjective answers. Yeah. Just like, like, a hundred percent, like, things you know. I like the idea as well of, like, what is Mario and Luigi's last name in the 1993, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mario. I like, as well, the idea of, like, okay, and now it's time for the physical challenge. And you're, like, not expecting it.

And then there's, like, a brief flash of light, and you're just jacked. Oh, wow. Went back in time to just work. That was easy. I didn't... Okay, yeah, all right, here we go. Oh yeah, I forgot about the bonus round. Spa the host.

I pull out a sword. And I'm circling above, so you're going to dodge that sword and stab me in the belly. Now that I'm bleeding from my stomach, it's fine. Time of the third round. I'm dying. Time of the third round. Who sharpens the blades? General trivia.

Time for the third round. Patch me up! First ride general trivia. Second ride, stab me in the stomach. Third round, search. Save my life. Flash of lightning. All you winded in paramedic school.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, oh my God, dude. This feels like it's become a battle of wits where I'm suspicious. I'm trying to throw your challenges you can't time travel your way out of. Okay. Before the third round of saved my life, I'm going to do the behead myself challenge. That's your answer? To stop him time traveling to be able to yourself?

You did it. You did it. Well, he's not winning. Do I get the show down? The show's getting shut down. No, I don't think once the show dies, the cadetian gets the show. I just don't think that's a rule. The host dies while you're being... It's the same if you're like...

I guess you get, like, counseling. If I say, it's time for the guillotine round. Shoshing. It's... I win! I get the show now. A bunch of balloons and streamers fall down and you get... Somebody comes out with a big novelty check. And a lobster costume.

Yeah. They kick my head away. This is a dystopian game show. Why'd he do that? Bad question. Very bad. We give this episode a bad question. You could do a lot with, yeah, going back at a time and feeding yourself the answers.

Yeah, yeah. Or changing history permanently. So as to make your answers correct. Yeah. I mean, like, do you get more points? And maybe you're doing a good question, bad question, if your answer is not the answer they think is correct, but is technically correct? So, for example, if you say The Virgin Man, and they go, that's untrue,

but then you go back in time and coordinate it so that you can um actually the host, the Lobster Man. If you um actually a host, it doesn't matter. Too late. You've lost. You've lost. Yeah, you've lost, like, you know, in life. But I think you might be like, oh wait, we're just going

like, you know, the boffins up top. They're like, actually, he is 100% correct. There was an incident where like there was a case where Divinci describes it as a man man rushed me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a strange, horseless carriage, he rushed me and broke my leg and scribbled virgin man.

Yeah, so in a way, he is correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that game show's whole thing is, like, not asking questions that have, like, a well-actually answer. But it does happen. Yeah. Like, it has happened, I'm pretty sure in the history, like, they've walked this back pretty severely. Yeah, I'm just trying to... It's happened.

It has happened. It has happened. Because I know, I don't want you to be like, well, then walk, quick. Because like, ah, fuck, no. Yeah. Well, what question? Exactly. That's what I mean.

That's what I'm going to. That's what I fucking mean. Where's your time? What are you doing? What do you think? I made myself dizzy wobble in my head like that. It's like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, oh, can we get like, like, you know, can we confirm that with some of the, you know, the producers?

I just got word in from the producer. Actually, you work 100% correct. I've seen that on Penn and Tell us. Okay. Where Penn and Teller go, you didn't fucking fool us. And then the guy is really desperate to be like, yes, I did, yes, I did. And then sometimes he did.

Yeah, so in that case, um... Footy fans. Premier League and Champions League are underway and FanDuel has fresh ways to bet your favorite clubs, like the new two-up money line. Cash out your bet as a winner if your team goes up two goals

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Time to Real Talk. We are on. It is the return of Real Talk. My attorney's not going to like that. They want what we have, and that's being successful. Is that what I really sound like? Is that what I really look like from behind? Fishing can be cut-broke fishery. If I could train the birds to on the billionaires' boats, life would be good. I never called me daddy either. I've heard other stories. Let's talk shit.

ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. acast.com. What was that story? Well, well, okay, a game show, Penn and Tell us, like, using time travel. Is that a game show, though? It's sort of game show. You can win or lose. Yeah.

But like, but hang on, if their thing is just having to be honest about if they got fooled or not. Yeah. So then they were like, they, so your story is, a magician does a trick for them. And they go, huh, didn't fool us. Yeah. And then the person, the magician is like, please, yes, I did. And then like, we're going to take this to the producers upstairs. Yeah.

The producers are like, no, they did actually fool you. That's what happens in Penantella's full us all the time. How? They get it wrong. And then they're like, but how, but if it's just, if it's, well, because Penn and Teller, I've seen this as well, where it's like, not maybe to this thing, but they usually it's like, oh, we think we know how, and they say like a story. Yeah. And then it's like, whether, you know, they're implying they know what to happen. And then the other magician is like, yeah, you got me. But they could be like, actually. No, actually you're wrong. And like, huh. And then Penantella were like, because the one I saw they were like. And then they might. So the magician has either told the producer how they've done it. So like, we're always going to confirm. Oh, yeah, no. Is that is that kind of what? So the one I saw is, like, Penn and Teller are like, oh, basically they say, you know, in code, it was this. And the guy goes, wrong. And Penn and Teller were like, we're pretty sure it was this.

They're like, you're saying, no, because sometimes magicians do this as well. They're desperately like, I think you got it wrong. I think you got it wrong. But they didn't. They just don't want to lose. I actually did just saw that lady at half, and she died. She's dead now. She's fucking dead.

She killed her in a way by putting me on your show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did that fool you? Yeah, you're... You sacks of shit. Why doesn't this one talk? Say something. I know you can.

Say I'm a good man. Tell me I'm good. But then it goes to the producers and the producers are like, yeah, no, this guy's right. That makes a lot more sense in the way I took the story, which is like they just have to decide whether or not they think the magic was real, and they go, no. And the producers like, well, actually.

Penantella's full loss, but they have to take it. This guy's actually a wizard. Yeah. Well, I'm thinking, well, look, hey, if time travel is real, and I'll go on Pennantella's full loss, but beforehand, you don't know this. But I've made a dark pact with some sort of wallop. Very good idea.

So when I'm like, I do a magic trick and then Penn and Paler are like, oh, wow, you know, they do this. I'm like, I'm wrong. And then I'm pretty sure. I'm like, no. And then I turn one of them into a cat. Smart. And I say, fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, pent up.

Give me a job. And then I don't know. Turn one. When I turn into a live skeleton. Yeah. And then I rule of spakeets. Yes. Yes.

This episode of Penantella Fullers went really wrong. I took it personally. Wow, that giant skeleton that rules Las Vegas, that's Penantella's fault. Like, Penantella, they have the power to just totally dismantle like a centuries old tradition. And yet they're taking the high ground and being like, oh, we're actually just going to talk in code about... Just tell everyone how the tricks are done. Oh, people are doing that. And Penitela do that too all the time.

They go, oh, is that we doing it? Yeah, it's how we did it. And they do the show it. I think it's a professional courtesy thing where if a guy comes on and you go, hey, we don't exactly how you do this. Yeah, but like, fuck professional courtesy when it comes to magic.

I see, I'll tell you what's happened here, okay? You don't respect magicians? Not at all. Penetella are magicians. And they respect that crowd. Yeah. Now, the idea of a rogue penantella that don't respect magicians?

I know, I'm confusing penantella. and the guy who fucking hated Uri Gala. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know who you mean. Yeah, no, no, no, no. The guy who's like, hey. You're, yeah, the guy who's, yeah, put out like a proved and psychic. Yeah, no, Penetella are just magicians. Yeah.

What would you do as a giant skeleton rolling Las Vegas? Like, what are you off, though? I'm guessing gems. Okay, yeah, nice. Gems and coin, I guess. Yeah, yeah. I think as a giant skeleton at this point, Let's just, like, get away with my voice.

I just want to scream real that. They're like, yeah, that's your new rule of Las Vegas. Have you mind-controlled the dozens of Las Vegas to go and collect gems from the surrounding countryside? That's really cool. That's really cool. Are you filling up your skull with gems so you get gem eyes? Oh, yeah, I've got to, like, embed gems all over me.

So that's how my power is more enhanced. Oh, by the gems. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with them gems. Why, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to rig this game show real good. Yeah. How fucking dare they question you?

I think they knew how it was done. Wrong. Truly a bit disastrous for the state of the city of Las Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'm going to take on Nevada there because it's just going to get her. And then, yeah, fuck it, I'll be prisoner of the world. I think that we, you know, a magic skeleton, no matter how strong your military is. I don't think there's any getting taken that down, really.

Exactly. They start, you know, their plades. They start like you to try to like you to attack me or whatever. Wrong. Actually, guess what? That military plane actually. It is a mule and it's falling from the sky. A lot of dead mules surrounding Las Vegas now.

A lot of dead mules with pilots riding them. Are you the only magician, like real wizard in this world? I did make a pact with some sort of dark lord. Suppose someone else could. Shazam rules, I guess. Yeah, yeah. I guess if you wanted to, you could have made a pack. Well, I just think if I was the American military and I was like,

that all they might need to make some packs. We've sent enough attack helicopters and jets to try and kill the skeleton ruling Las Vegas in hoarding our gems. Yeah. You know, they're my gems now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are the skeleton man's gems. Yeah.

Would you give yourself a new name? I guess you're just screaming. Yeah. It's just the screaming gloss makers. I do not care for the press. Yeah, fair enough. As long as the word out is that more gems to me is good. He's amassing gems at an accelerated rate.

If like, yeah, the messaging will be, uh, if you don't, if you give me gems, you won't become a skeleton man yourself. Oh. Turning people into skeletons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up of gems you're looking for? Oh, just big ones. I don't know how to get gems. Yeah, well, I guess you're becoming a skeleton

and another mindless minion of mine. Yeah. So the skeletons are collecting gems too. Well, you'd want to, right? You got a... Okay, so I'm a skeleton now. And you've got, like, the magic's infusing you to be like, must get a gem for master.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm just standing in the Las Vegas desert being like, don't know how to jam. You're just getting a pick out. Digging and over your hit gems, dude. Must get a gem. You got to remember, I don't know how to get gems either. My first stuff for getting gems would be, like, jewelry.

So I guess I'm breaking into people's houses. Yeah, I'm grabbing necklaces. Yeah, you've more gems for the skeleton king. Yeah, yeah, come down, like, which is thank you. You scoop them up. I put them into a mouth. You're eating the gems. For more power.

Eat the gems. Some of the gems will just start on my bones, my powerful bones. My boss, he needs gems to eat to get more. powerful. You remember him from TV? Remember that episode of Penitellas full us? It went the wrongest that could have gone? Yeah, now he's eating gems. Now he's a giant skeleton ruling Las Vegas

and eating gems. Yeah. That is like really, that's really, I mean, you've stretched the limits of rigging a game show. Yes. Especially the rigging. Using real magic to win Penn and Tell us, but then I got real stroppy. How fucking dare they call me out?

So you turned Pan, you turned one of them into a Skeleton and want them into a cat. Okay. I just, that's like, to me, if I was in your position, I feel like I would use my magic to torture them for eternity. Yeah. Well, you don't know how bad being a cat.

Yeah, that's, that's true. That's true. I think, because I thought maybe you go one is a cat, one's a mouse, and then one eats the other. Whoa. Well, the skeleton could eat the cat, so, you know, in a way. Yeah, you turn one into a cat, one into a mouse. Yeah. The cat eats the mouse, and then you turn them back into a man, and you go, you ate your friend.

That's true. And who's the little one? Teller? Teller's inside Penn's stomach trying to get out. Yeah, yeah. Magic your way out of this. Then you turn them both at the skeleton. They go, we're not real wizards.

Oh, now you can talk. Oh, yeah. The mouse is the one that you, Penn can talk. Penn can talk, Penn can talk, Taylor can't. But Teller does talk when he's buying. He can't talk. He just chooses not to. But he would scream like anyone else.

It's such a mockery to his... What's that? You can't talk, can you? Well, maybe you can talk if I can't. give you a million tongues. And then I zap him, I make him a million tongues. Does he have a million tongues of one mouth? Yeah, his body's now mostly tongue. Yeah. He's in his

skin, it's tongues. He tastes wherever he goes. He's just tongues everywhere. And I look at Taylor and I'm like, well, you're big and tall. Imagine if your head could reach the sun. That's pen. And then I go, oh, fuck. What's that audience member?

Why would you say that, dude? Correcting me. The rules Las Vegas is going to destroy you. I turn you into a big gem. Yeah, and I go. That's awesome, brother. You lose the game show, though, because you got that wrong. Oh, is he on your game show now?

Yeah, it's called Penn or Tower. That's a great game show. Okay. All right, I'll give you a bit of information. You're going to tell me if it's Penn or Teller. Okay, big one is Penn. Correct. Little one's Teller.

Yeah. Pan, I believe, loves crazy sex. he lost a lot of weight yeah am i winning your game show crazy you seem to have calmed the giant skeleton quick shot take the shot take the shot yeah he's the tall guy's just our cross-legged yeah he's the tall one my gems all of the gems pour out of your head you should become a regular size skeletons in they bury you in a box well yeah initially as we approached this episode I didn't realize time travel nor I was thinking

like you use a wheel of fortune and somehow do like a honey pot because first question the person the wonderful person that turns the letters around do they know the answer I believe possibly

isn't honeypot them no the answers beforehand and then get on the game show and start spinning that wheel and I better hope I don't end up on bankrupt or loser, too, because I'll be so strolling. I know exactly, you know, the answer. Okay.

I'll just be like, oh, I'm going to buy a veil. Yeah, okay. And maybe I'm like, oh, is there, is there an S or something? And it's like, because I knew it wasn't. Yeah. Because you've got to make it believable. Well, because that's a thing, and I almost probably slept before, but I'm glad that we've transitioned back into this.

Yeah. Game shows are really funny because if you're too good at them, people want you dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, as in, it's like a casino rules where if you win too hard, people like, Well, we're going to have to get this man. Yeah, exactly. You got to kind of, like, if you're doing like a Japanese thing, you can be like the, whatever they call it,

the reigning champ for like two episodes. Yeah. Then you've got to lose gracefully. Yeah, bow out. Yeah, bow out, dude. Win a car. You don't need two cars, so you just win a car. Exactly, dude.

You got to feel like, what do I want? And just kind of like, all right, that's what I'm going to aim for? Yeah. And just do that. How did that guy with the butt plug cheated. I don't think he did. That didn't happen. Okay, but it could work.

Because that was my initial thought. Like a cough, but it's a butt plug up me. And I have someone in the crowd who activates it when the right answer on the... The only... A, B, C. Say that again? What if you put electric...

One more time, Eddie? I like the idea of fucking it up, sir. Like, you've put, like, strapped, like, electrodes to your balls. So every time it's the right answer, it makes you ejaculate. Eddie just sort of... Eddie, I'd like to lock in D, though. Let's move on. Yeah.

Did you just comb your pants? No, Eddie. Yes, Eddie, I really like game shows. Next question, please. It's unrelated, Eddie. Carry on. It's a medical problem. Coming in my pants isn't illegal.

Yeah, yeah. Is it? It's not going to make for good TV. But I disagree. I think it's illegal. If you're just like in public. I mean, it's a medical problem. So you're imagining you've kegled yourself to such a degree.

Yeah. That you can do a hands-free orgasm. No, okay. I reckon if I'm doing it intentionally. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

If I'm just like walking around and being like, damn, I'm going to make myself come right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I come list is. That's a crime. Oh, mama. Where if you're just like walking down and then you're like, oh, I don't feel good. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's not a crime. That's how something has happened to your body. Yeah. You should go. You fall and land on your coxics so wrong. You come your pain. Like you, yeah, you were crossing the street and you hit by a car so wrong. Yeah.

That is dangerous. As we all know, spinal damage is what led to Mr. Hand's debacle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Once again, we're going to be careful. You got to be so careful. And then they do that surgery on a spine that meant people could come on command or something. Come on command.

Like they Pavlov, it's like, no, it's like, self-no. No, Mr. Bailey, come on command. I'm ready to come. Good. I'm your master now. You're my little bitch. Oh, no, I hate this doctor. I hate this sub-dom doctor.

Why did I do this? You're my little cum cow. What did I do? Why did you do this too? I got to stop going to this doctor. No, it was like some surgery they did on a, like, they did surgery on a cum. They did surgery to make someone a cum cow. Yeah, like, so that they could come like whenever they wanted.

What? I could come whatever I want too. I just need like 15 minutes. Yeah, maybe some privacy. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? Spine surgery. Come?

Did that, was it someone who had lost, like, you know, like, the ability to come? Delayed ejaculation off the lumbar spine surgery? That sounds like the opposite of what you were talking about. Yeah. Oh, no. AI overview. Spine surgery come likely refers to complications from spinal surgery, specifically retrograde ejaculation, a condition in which ejaculate enters the bladder

instead of exiting the penis. Leading to subfertility. Well, yeah, it would. Well, yeah, because you're coming in your own blood up. You're not coming in the right direction. But then you piss calm. That's pretty cool. No, no, no, no, not maybe.

You do? You'd be pissing old cum. Yeah. Because the cum will go into your piss. Yeah, you'd have slushy piss com. I just feel like, come piss. Come in your bladder feels like your bladder's like... I'm infected now.

This is not wrong. Yeah. This feels very wrong. Did you what else is wrong? Yeah. Pen naming their kid, moxy crime fighter. Oh, that's terrible. That's right.

Crime Fighter? Come on, Zoltan and Moxie Crime Fire. Now, there's a couple more giant skeletons, I feel. Yeah, dude. Is Zoltan named after the machine from Biggs? Zoltan. Oh, okay.

Fair enough. In a way, yeah. Moxie Crime Fighter often goes by the name Lucca, which I imagine not picked for themselves. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Don't give your child an embarrassing name. Yeah. Okay.

Unless you name me a kid plumbing death stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. Plumbing's all right as a name. Plumbing's all right. rider's name? Plumbing Bailey? Plumbing douchea? Oh, that sounds worse. Plum examiner? Oh, okay. They got worse as they weren't. Plum Bailey's all right. What about plum? Yeah, plum's cool. Plum douchea. Plumdusha. Plum Zammot? Plum's great. Because plum is like

it's folksy. You know, people say, that's plum wild. Like, if you're from the south. Yeah, dude, I hear people say that's plumb wild non-stop. Well, we don't live in the Appalachian. Neither do you. Why are you talking like you're hearing or all the time? I just, I'm aware of it. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. your little books. Your plum out of luck. Plum out of luck, exactly. I'm plum tired.

People say plumb. And people say plumb. And people are saying it. A lot of people say plumb. And we'll be saying it even more when our children is named plum. Our children. Our children. Yeah.

Hi, welcome. We are plum. Our children is our children. We have named them plum. Yeah. This is plum and this is... Do you go P-L-U-M or P-L-U-M-B? I think P-L-U-M is a nice name.

Yeah, yeah. But I think that loses what... The point of naming them plum was. We're including that bee. For brand recognition. I would say the bee looks nicer. Really? Yeah, the P and the B looks kind of nice.

I like the idea of not making it sound as well, so it's plumb. Yeah. Plum. This is our children, Bailey. Plumb B. Plumb. Plumb douchea. Plumb.

I heard plumb. You would remove that bee as soon as you could. No. I have pleasure to be true. You're moving the B, you're changing your whole name. Yeah. The B makes it foxy. Yeah.

What do you think? Who's the worst person? I love that you're like, plumb. You finish the word. You're like, not quite yet. Blumber. Plumb. Do you think...

Yeah, welcome to, you know, right or wrong. And welcome is our first contestant. And it's Mr. Plumber. No, no, no. It's plumber. It's plumber. Pronounce plumb. So do I, do I get the first question right and you get it wrong?

Because you've fucked up my name? Fuck. Yeah. All right. One question there. Four more to go. Do you say, I keep imagining finding out my lawyer's name is plumb. Like, I'm gonna lose.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're gonna trust in the plumb. Trust in plumb is the best in the business. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Well, I was thinking, because I also didn't know time travel was on the table. A simpler version is like the ability to freeze time or something. something and they go,

you know, Jackson, what's the answer to this question? You also went magic. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Oh, yeah, you're a skeleton man eating gyms. Initially, I was like Honeypot. Yeah. And then it was like, no, no, no, no. Well, I tried the vibrating butt plug, but, you know.

And that could work, but, yeah, I guess. I didn't want to come in front of any McGuire. And all many people do. So I said, I'll just freeze time. Yeah. And I can just go look at his answers. Yeah. And they go back into my chair.

Okay, now, question one. What if his answers are not written down but coming through an earpiece, which is way more common for TV? I go, put my hands on my hips and I go, fuck, they'll be written down somewhere. And then I head off and I try and find the answers. You leave in a frozen world, just walking around, being like, fuck, there'll be somewhere. I should get some food. That'll help me think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go to a Burger King.

Yeah, oh, Burger King's bad because no one's going to make the food. Yeah, you go to a Burger King, you're like, you're waiting in line. Fucked his lines is taking forever. No, it's talking. What the hell? Oh, fuck. Oh, of course. Oh, you go to the front.

Hey, can I please have a... Hey, hey. Wake up. What the hell's wrong with this fucking guy, dude? Oh, fuck. Hang on, sorry, I just quickly unfreezed time. Yeah. And then the guy behind him, he's like, hey, who are you?

And Eddie McGuire's like, what the fuck happened to it? Where's Jackson? It just cuts to me getting into a big argument. Oh, my God. If you're in the front of the line, you get the order first. How would I have even snobled? You think I could just freeze time? You think I can teleport?

Oh, my God, you know what? Freeze time, look around. Oh, that person's eating their meal. Sit down on their lap. Yeah, om, long, mong, long, okay. I'm going to eat every burger in this place. Unfreeze. Steal a child's happy meal.

What do you think about that? What do you think about what? I'm so sick. I'm going to freeze time, so no one knows I've got severe diarrhea. Freeze time. That would look insane from the perspective of everyone else. Suddenly there's a guy in front of you yelling at the point of you. Then all of a sudden he's gone, but he's like...

No burgers, everyone's been ate. He's clutching his stomach. Then, again, like, his expression changes from so unwell to just pale and tired. And there's a bad oval. He's gone. Eddie McGuire is like, what the fuck? I'm back and I go, oh, fuck, I didn't get the answers. Hang on a second.

Fuck! Then I got to try and find... I need a drink. I need a drink, dude. You know what? I'm just going to take a week to just relax. Because my stress is up here. This is been an overwhelming day.

Okay. I'm just going to go to bed for a bit. We'll try again tomorrow. Yeah. Then I get distracted, live in a frozen world. Eventually, I'm like, what happened? Because I forget I did this. I'm 50 today.

Whoops. Fuck, dude. I did nothing. Yeah. I just kept rewatching. cheers. Because it's such a long sort of series you get to the end. You can just start it up again, dude. You kind of forget what happened. Yeah. And then I go back. It's a beautiful journey. It's a beautiful Sam and Diane. Yeah. And then I go back to it down, start time again

and I go, cheers, dude. Wait, what? What was the question, Eddie? And Eddie's like, age 20 years. Who am I? Who are you? Who are you? You? I'm Eddie McGuire. Well, yeah, I knew that. I know, this is so stressful. I'm going to pause time. Oh, I'm so hungry. I'm going to go to Burger King, dude. And they're those same people in Burger King.

See me disappear and then reappear as an old man in the front of the queue again, yelling. Yeah. What a crazy day, dude. Can I pause time in any other game show? Well, what about this? Wheel of Fortune. Fortune's good because you could freeze time as like the ball is like

and you just kind of like move the ball, sorry, the wheel sorry, the slap, no, no, no, because I thought it was... And then just move it or stop it very softly, so it comes back. It's like, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Jackpot again! I guess I keep winning, brother. Yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, maybe like go behind the stage.

You look at like the letters. Yeah. And then I come back and we haven't even said, and I go, I'd like to solve. Are you sure you're really, you're currently, you're losing. Yeah, yeah. I'd like to solve.

I think I'll get this dude. And somehow getting it right and they go, there's actually no way you could have known that. That's suspicious. No. No. I'm in trouble. Freeze time.

Throw the host in a rivel. Free time. Dach him. Unfreeze time. Yeah, maybe I'm cheating, but you look like an idiot. Yeah. You're cheating? Free time.

Fuck. Turn him around. Unfreezed time. Sorry, what were you saying? I didn't hear you. You were not facing me. This is so rude. Did you just admit to cheating?

No. Free time. Why can't I go back in time? I'm going to have to kill this man. I'm going to have to kill everyone. I'm going to have to kill him on live television. Sir, what are you saying? Oh, fuck.

Fuck, I thought I was on first time. Then it's just me at the front of the studio, which is on fire. Not to find another game joke. At least with the freezing time, they're not going to know I did it. Not until I start time again. But I'll be somewhere else. So maybe I'll be. get away with it?

They weren't... Yeah, we'll see. Yeah. What other game shows you could free... Because if it's like a trivial one, I've got to find the answers. Yeah.

Which is tough. Well, you could freeze time and then, you know, before the show had started, put like, you know... I mean, well, this day at age, you just have your phone. My phone's frozen.

Damn, it can't. Like, why is his page not loaded? Oh, what's wrong? Oh, that's right. I have the ability to freeze time. Yeah. Because I liked that special toad. Yeah. Yeah.

Encyclopedia is close by. Yeah, so I can look up the answers. What about this? Yeah. Okay. What about it? So I go, you know, Alex Trebek, he says, lean out of Da Vinci called this painting, the Vitruvian, what?

And I go, hmm, freeze time. Collect Alex Trebek, take him to a bridge, hold him over it. Unfreeze time. What's the answer, Alex? He tells me the answer. Great. freeze time again. Take him back, place him back in

exactly as he was, and I sit back down unfreeze time. He's screaming. He doesn't, he, what is he's screaming? He goes... Everyone in there is like, what? And I'm like, what's going on? What the hell? Alex is, he's having a crazy, some kind of reaction. Show is cancelled. Can we just play back the tape?

So he played back the tape of like, you know, the Vitruvian, what? And then there's a split second. Then both Alex and you are gone. Everyone's like, wait, what's going on? Glitch in the camera. And then the split second later, you're back. You would have taken, I don't know, how long are you holding Alex over a bridge?

I probably couldn't hold a full-grown man over a bridge. Oh, no. You come back to the thing, Alex is gone. He'll be back. Free time. Just look, I'm real nervous. Where'd Alex go? I don't know.

Who do you be? I've never met an Alex. I don't know what he is. I wouldn't hang out with him outside of work, that's for sure. I definitely wouldn't have dropped him into a river. Oh, what the heck? Where's the host of this show? Oh, but, uh-huh?

Look, that's a very suspicious way to behave. Fuck, freestyle. It's let's be... I've got to carve my stomach with some food. Back to hungry jacks, I reckon, dude. I need more burgers. Yeah, I guess, yeah, if the host has the answer... I mean, surely if you froze time, there might be somewhere written around.

Well, that's what I'm thinking. I go explore the studio and the producers' box or whatever. The problem is, though, like, in a TV studio and stuff like that, a lot of the stuff to get to people that might know the answers, it's all behind locked doors where you'd need, like, key cards, but Alex would probably have one. Also, like, the staff around, like, any, like, camera operate, et cetera, et cetera. They'll have them. Yeah, just take it. I just take it, I read it, put it back, get back into my seat. And go, I got all the answers.

Can I actually answer the next question as well? Actually, Alex, I'm going to solve? Let me solve And he goes That's not how Japri works I'm gonna solve I'm gonna solve

I think I think you'll just want to hear what I have to say Okay I think you're about to be Very impressed I think you'll be very impressed

And like we go You freeze the time What you do is you go in And like you're there Employee Records Yeah And you find his home address Oh that's a good idea

And you go back in time I think I want to solve it Yeah Or I find the name of his children Yeah yeah yeah Yeah You just like you just like You know

Like say it's like It's like four one I go Alex I'd like to solve What is little Rebecca, age 12? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, sorry?

Where? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is 411, you know, I don't know, Cranberry Avenue? Yeah. And he goes, why are you doing this? Please let's cut. And I go, no, no, no, keep the cameras rolling. Keep it rolling. Keep the rolling.

Keep the rolling. Doing what, Alex? What am I doing? What am I doing? What's wrong? Have I solved it? Have I solved it? Alex Trebek, my greatest enemy?

Finally, I have my revenge. for embarrassing me in that hungry jacks I think I think it was you Alex I could also on Jappity because the way that works is you write your answer

so an even easier way to do this is I go alright you know I write my answer if it's right or wrong doesn't matter and then I freeze time just before

we're about to reveal our answers yeah and I go to my opponents and I draw you know big dicks or whatever dick and balls well you look at their answer yeah and I

Which might necessarily be right. It might not be, so you look at either anth, like, persons, because chances are. Someone's got it right. If it's two of them and they've got the same answer, you're like, well, I'm going to write that. Yeah. I've got big, big and bulls and, like, on theirs. Yeah. And maybe a threat to Alex Trebek on one of the others.

I will kill you, Alex Trebek. And then I go back to my seat and I own freeze time and they go, Alex Trebek goes, what the hell? And I go, what the hell, Alex? What they wrote a kick, a kick, a kick and balls, damn it. Free time. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. I got to throw Alex Trebac in a ribon. Yeah. I've got to kill these tapes. I'm going to burn this studio down. Fuck, dude. I'm running out of game shows to appear on day. The price is right.

It'll have me. That's true. That'll sort me out. So... And then, yeah, you can go, cock-a-booz is there threatened you? Maybe I just win. Yeah. Alex, what about if you just let me win this one?

Okay. Yeah. What are you... You know, it is good to get like a superpower and then just waste it. Yes. Waste it winning game shows. Freest time. Maybe what you take is, like, credit card, go and make some...

Financially ruin him. Fortunely, sent directly to the studio. Yeah. So you're not really benefiting anyway. No. The problem is I don't really know how to commit credit card fraud in a way. I guess you just rob whatever cashy. You use the credit card.

Yeah, but it will come back to me. Well, not if you, like, you know, just grab anyone's laptop and start ordering everything to that studio. Oh, that is true. I mean, sorry, the studio, I meant, like, the price is right. Yeah. Real confusing. Yeah, that is a good idea. Yeah.

And then, like, obviously, there'll be no email address or anything. He can't do anything about it. Packages will just keep coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I just take them. Yeah. Because I, you know, trying to benefit from this. Well, he'll report the credit card stolen.

And then there'll be an investigation. But then all these weird packages will be sent to, like, his place of work. Yeah. Anvils. I just feel like. He's getting anvils delivered. He's getting some sort of fraud. Yeah.

He just, did he still his own credit card? Yeah, that's what I'm guessing, dude. Then I go tell the police. You tell the police that I'm suspicious of Alex Trebek and finally get my revenge. But making me look like an idiot on the last episode of Japanese. I can't believe he did that to you. Yeah, dude. Me neither.

Are these the best superpowers you could use to rig a casino? No, telepathy. Brick a casino, different episode. Yeah, yeah. To rig a get telepathy. Telekinesis. It's really good. Yeah.

Super genius. Yeah. It's multiple man. Multiple, how are you using multiple men to rig a game show? Well, you know, very similar, in a similar vein. I mean, I didn't think in the X factor. Yeah. This is how he makes a lot of money.

He does go on who wants to be a millionaire. Yeah. And he's got his dupes finding the answers and a little earpiece. Okay. It's funny that he's not, I mean, he's using the multiple man power, but you could just do that with five guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the burger place.

Yeah, that's true. Shout out. Just like the burger place. But I think telepathy I reckon and telekinesis probably would be the best. How long do you reckon you can do like a historic run on a game show before they become suspicious? Depends on the game show. It depends like how they're trying to find me out. Like how they go to try and prove that I'm a telekinetic and B telepathy.

Yeah, but well I mean they can never prove. Say it's telepathy. They can't prove it. But if you go on Jappity and you win again, what's the longest run, I wonder? I think it's quite a while. Quite a while. Yeah. I'm just a very clever person.

I'm pretty sure, and I'm pretty sure the guy who had the, like, the gigantic run on Jeopardy, eventually just bowed out. I mean, you'd have to, right? Because he was like, well, I've done it. I cannot be stopped. Maybe you go on, like, the chaser or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then just start being like, yeah.

And then you can just read the mind, right? And because, like, chances are that genius. Well, they'll know. And you just keep, you know, the host will know. So, yeah, you just do that. And you just do that. And then if they're like, we're suspicious. You're like, okay.

You're like, test me. Go on. There's no way they can test for telepathy, dude. If they're testing you for telepathy, you know that. Because I'm reading their mind. And so you just give them the answer they want. Yeah, exactly. They go, I guess this guy's just a fucking genius.

Yeah, which is what we're trying to get on these shows anyway. But we prefer them to be slightly less clever because we want him to lose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you find out what the longest run is? Yeah, so it's that guy Ken Jennings, isn't it? Like, who then went on to host Jeopardy? Yes, yeah, yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right.

I think it's 70? 70 episodes. Oh, you should have gone for the ton. Yeah, dude, 70s, why call it at 70? That's crazy. Unless it's 75, then fair enough. Yeah, okay, that makes it. His original appearance on the program marks the longest winning streak,

netting him $2.5 million over the course of his initial 75-day run. All right, there you go, 75, yeah. 75, yeah, yeah. It's good innings. I guess I'm like, well, I have a goal, two-milly. Yeah, I got it. Once you get two-milly, you're out. I'm good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you reckon they check for butt plugs? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they make you squat. Do a cough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, like, if it was just a subtle vibration in the anus. You're wearing, like, what, like the vibe or whatever?

Yeah, yeah, I've got the vibe up me. Yeah. And I have someone in the crowd. They're not coughing. That sound. And also, you're sitting, like, is it cushioned? No, I'm uncomfortable. Is it a hard seat?

Like, you're going to get something there. That's true. God, that's annoying. You've got to get silent. Sorry, was that your phone? Didn't we confiscate your phone? You'd be like, oh. It must be, dude.

It must be my phone. Or maybe it's your phone, Eddie McGuire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I don't know. Can you just do a naked squat and cough for me? No. Eddie, I don't want to do that. No.

Who wants to be a millionaire? It's not that kind of sure. Yeah. And then he gets down and he goes, there's come in your pants. I can tell. I know when people... I know what that smells like.

You're raked. Jackson, I've been doing this for a long time. And I can tell when a contestant has come in their pants. And you're not the first, normal you'll be the last, but you need to go. It's so funny to imagine Eddie McGuire. asking, like, a question that gets the contestant a little, like, horny or hot under the collar?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, which of these nude paintings, and you're like, nude paintings, you say? What's that, Eddie? Can you just list them again? Yeah, okay. Oh, my God, dude. Venus de Milo? Do you have a picture?

Sorry, what was the question? Was it which is the most attractive? Sorry, Eddie. I'm just so distracted. Sorry. Okay, question one, which is the best way for an ass to be? Fat, fatta, fat is. Oh, my God, Eddie.

Fuck, Eddie. If that happens, I'm like, this is some kind of entrapment. I don't know what this is. Or D, we're coming to get you, Jackson. You're in a lot of trouble. Well, I hope it's not D. I'm going to pick C. Yeah, fattest?

Yeah, that's the one. That's correct. Oh, thank God, dude. D was just a fake answer. Every answer. Every question has that is D? Are you sending me a message, Eddie? I'm going to kill you, Jackson.

Me and some guys I know we're going to kill you. I'm going to pick B, I think, Eddie. Yeah, that was correct. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to phone a friend. And I'm like, hey, okay, so I'm tossing up between C, Copernicus, or D, I'm going to kill you with a bat. I know some bad guys. What do you reckon, man? I think it might be G.

Yeah, yeah. However, the answer is 100% Copernicus. Okay, all right. I'm going to lock in C. But you should watch your back. Yeah, it seems that. Seems someone's threatening him, man. Yeah, I've been talking.

Yeah. Eddie McGuire's going to kill me, dude, for what I did. Yeah, it's a sad. He knows I've set fire to all of those other. Yeah. It's a game show revenge. He hasn't figured out how you've done it yet, but he knows you're responsible. It seems like I've lost my time stop powers.

Yeah. I have, dude. Yeah. Free time. Oh, man. It wore off. I left my bracelet on the bus. Oh, fuck, dude.

Which bus was it? someone's going to be on the bus Eddie, do you know the number for the bus? I lost my special brace. Eddie, I have a bracelet. And I had a toad gave it to me out of the leak. I licked a toad, but Eddie, it was a magic toad. Eddie, you should have been there, Eddie.

It was so wonderful. Eddie, he was a funny fucker. Oh, he was an absolute pisser of a frog. He was a pisser of a toad and he gave me a magic bracelet, but I left it on the bus. Eddie McGuire. The bus has the, I guess, the batter stopped talking to do gang show. Eddie McGuire, I fucked my life up. Eddie McGuire?

Can you help me, Eddie McGuire? I'm going to level with you, Eddie McGuire. I'm not coming back. I've fucked this up so bad. Eddie, you help me find the bus, Eddie? Yeah. Eddie, Eddie, this is a matter of life and death, mostly for me. I got two options now, Eddie.

Check every bus every day for the rest of my life. Or give up now, okay? So you've got to help me out, dude. Or I'm going to be the bus man. Okay, Eddie. Is that what you want for me to be known? is the bus Eddie McGuire

Eddie McGuire I'll be on every bus every day checking for my damn fucking bracelet I wrecked my fucking life Eddie because I was on my

phone too much on the box and now I'm on this piece of shit show with you and I actually got it to come on the show and cheat them with

but as you can see I don't even fucking have it dude so oh no there it is oh thank God hang on sorry give me one second

what's the question again say it again Eddie I won't kill you I'm so hungry, dude. Just try something, you know, lost my race. It's funny to just cut to it burning down. You don't know what I did, but I fucked it up somehow. Eating a burger.

Yeah. I got to stop setting fire to place. Good day. Yeah, probably a pretty good day. Yeah, pretty good day. Yeah. So I guess the best way to rig a game show is arson. Yeah.

Yeah. Arson, magic powers, time manipulation powers. Yeah, yeah. A threatening aura. A threatening aura. Dark pack with a warlock Yeah Lick a toad get a magic bracelet

Run over the vinci with your car Yeah Just be careful Be careful They're gonna steal your car Travel forward to the future See modern tragedies And then go back to 16th century Italy

And not be able to work through what they've seen I just really liked it For that urchin That's what they- Uh-huh humanity It was a mistake People they ain't no good Ah

Capish Yeah, dude That's how it goes You got Some ideas maybe how you Might rig a game show Well, let us start with You can drink it in the comments

In this very episode You can chuck in the YouTube comments On Spotify You can comment there too If you go and give us like a five-star review That would be nice of you And then this is how you'd rig a game show Yeah, exactly

But yeah And whatever you want to put that Maybe you'd also want to like Make a pack with a dark time Yes, dude. Maybe you want to talk about your favorite thing from Burger King that you'd get, what you'd eat and then have diarrhea from at Burger King. And if you want to support Ply the Death Star, please sign up for the Bad Brain

Our Boys subscription. You get a bonus episode of Plumming the Death Star every month. Yeah. Plus a bonus episode of What If, which is another subscriber-only show we do, plus an episode of Jackson, two episodes of Jackson Bailey Spooks America a month. Holy fuckeroli, dude. Plus access to the Discord. But add free episodes.

It's fucking crazy. Add free episodes, a little bit early. Plus, you also, I'm pretty sure, get an episode, like, you know, like a monthly episode of I-crank. Yeah. You are correct. You are so correct. But most importantly, you support the three of us. So that we can go to Burger King.

Yeah, exactly. Every time we order from Burger King, it's your doing. Yeah. Every burger we eat. And we hope to one day get one million subscribers so we can go to Burger King and buy the burger out of everyone's hands and sitting there. And I'll be like, hey, you're sitting there eating that burger, how much for that burger? And they'd be like, please leave me, I'm going to get $10. Like, it was more than $10.

I'm like $20. You go, I want to do a sort of indecent proposal. Your burger one night. I'm going to fuck your burger. 20 bucks? Let me lick your burger. Yeah. You can have it after.

I just want to lick it. You got to see. You got to make it. You got a hundred bucks. So they think about it, you know? 100 bucks. But you have to eat the burger afterwards. We're a menace in this burger game.

Yeah. Someone should call the police. Hey, brother. I noticed you're eating that burger. Yeah. I'd love to make love to that burger. Yeah. 100 bucks.

Give me your burger. 100 bucks. I'll give it back. I'll give it back. I'm going to take it into the toilet and I want to fuck this shit out of your burger, okay? Then I'm going to come back. Give you the burger. And I'll make sure to not come, I'll come on the ground or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. We know come in the burger. But you can do with the burger whatever you want. Yeah. You can throw it out. I just want to fuck your burger. Yeah. It's a beautiful burger.

Yeah. Yeah. Your burger to me is like your wife. Mm. Let me burger cut. What is the indecent? I mean, I know the movie, but what is the proposal? It's basically, I'll give you like a million dollars, but I get to sleep with your wife for one night.

One night with your wife, one million dollars. That's my proposal and it is indecent. Yeah, that is quite the indecent proposal. If you're like, I'll give you $100 and want to, you know, fuck your burger. I'd be like, okay. Yeah, I would just buy a new burger. Yeah. If I don't have to eat it afterwards, you'd come back, we'd be like, oh.

What do you do it? What the fuck, dude? Yeah. Oh, what the hell? Fuck off, pervert. Unless you want to give me that 100 bucks for this burger. Yes, I am still horny.

I do now. Maybe it's an indecent proposal if you go to the Burger King and you say, make me burgers to fuck? Yeah. You know? Is that something?

Like you're paying the Burger King and they can't fuck a burger. If you buy a burger from Burger King, you can fuck it. Yeah, that's true. It's actually not against the law to fuck a burger from Burger King. No, provided it's in the safety of your own home.

Pay for that burger. You do whatever you want, man. It is cool to imagine someone buying a burger and, like, you know, going home with like a real scary, horny energy, very excited and then fucking the shit out of the burger. Yeah. Coming on the ground. Like, that's just like a, that's someone's life. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And that person, thank you for subscribe. Yes. Definitely a plumbing of the death stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, they even got the coming on the ground part off the woods accurate.

Can they see me? They're allies to my fetish. On that note, that's a bit jump. And I've also been Joel. Enjoy your burger lunch. Yeah, please enjoy it. Game shows, they're fun to rig and their pop culture. Yes, that is true.

Was this the episode you expected it to be? Yeah, kind of. You sort of thought it would end with burger fucking. Yeah. Fair enough. Most episodes, it's always a risk. Either that or dog fucking. Yeah.

Honestly, fucking a burger is far more appealing. I think you're right. I think you're right. Zama disagrees. If I... No, no, no, no. If I had to pick, I'd fuck a burger. Yeah, yeah.

So that's 2V1. Yeah, no. Yeah. I'd also make love to that burger. Yeah. Good. Oh, I don't know. That's not what he was saying before.

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