Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Survive a Maximum Overdrive?

Episode Date: June 14, 2020

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presents.com and we'll see you there well you'll see us that we'll talk to you you'll you'll figure it out hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask important questions like how would you survive a maximum overdrive? One question. What's a maximum overdrive? One answer. This. That's a car noise.

But you made motorcycle hands. That's a car noise. But you made motorcycle hands. It's a cool car. Motorcycle handles instead of a wheel. Anyway. In the 80s at some time, Stephen King did a lot of cocaine, allegedly. Unless he's got a record saying it. No, no, no. It's a book he can't remember because he wrote it on cocaine. And it's a cooked book.

It's called, I can't remember. What is the on cocaine and it's a cooked book. It's called, I can't remember. What is the book called? It's called The Tommy Knockers. Oh, that's right. It's crazy. They made it into a film. Yeah, in that movie Stephen King goes on record. He's like, I don't remember it.

I wrote it. It's huge. I don't remember it. It's nuts. Just being like a screenwriter or even just like a novelist and being like, I'm trying so hard to get my novel turned into a screenplay this fucking guy he got out of his brain his coke novel makes this demented book and they somehow turn into a film they get funding they got for he got paid twice a big plot

plot point in the tommy knockers is that um the alien ship that's infecting the town allows a lady to turn a tractor into a flying tractor. That book is great. Anyway, one of these short stories that Stephen King definitely wrote on cocaine. It's called Maximum Overdrive. He then turned it into a film claiming that no one knows Stephen King more than Stephen King

and made this movie as well. It is available both in written form, as Jackson pointed out, and a film. Both same premise, sort of. Comet flies past Earth. I'm there. Unfortunately, though, Earth is stuck in the comet's tail for seven days. Oh, no. That somehow results in all technology coming to life and trying to kill people.

I think it's pertinent to know that the original name for the short story was Trucks. That is important. Why is this episode not called How Would You Survive Trucks? How Would You Survive Trucks? Trucks by Stephen King. So the premise of the film and the movie and the short story,

film and the movie, is that a group of people, survivors, and in a way, this episode, are trapped at a truck stop at a diner, a 7-Eleven sort of situation, whilst all of the trucks and all the technology have gone rogue and are, I guess, sentient

and intent on eliminating humanity. All right. So you boys were once again on tour. Yeah. We're stuck in a roadside diner as we are want to do. Stop at that roadside diner. I got a piss on the wall is what I said in the back of the car. And we pulled up and the car came alive.

It honked and you were like, hey, I'm pissing here. Okay. So we're at a truck stop. Yes. Okay, so some of the rules that the technology seems to abide by is that even though we are in a flimsy building, the truck won't just plow through the wall. Yes, that's true.

And also that even though they are sentient. The truck is like, the prison is the truck's own mind. He just thinks he can't't it's like an elephant with a dog so sad i'm on team truck trucks can only live on the road that's such a they circle around the diner like sharks or a bikey gang and also kind of like they're drunk another rule to keep in mind is that the trucks still have the same internal machinery that they always did. They need fuel. Okay. They need, I guess, like satellites to get radio. My babies need food. Okay.

All right. Zammert is mother to the trucks. Yeah. The mother trucker. They just don't know they could kill us all. Some other technology you see kill people in the film is Walkmans kind of kill people like piano wire. Like with the headphones?

You don't see it. You just see the corpse. But yes, it appears that it's happening. Okay, cool. I have earbuds. Not a problem. A drink machine shoots cans into, like, indents someone's skull. Okay.

That's a tactic. A steamroller runs over a child. Oh, okay. All right. A toy remote control car chokes a dog to death. Oh, okay. All right. A toy remote control car chokes a dog to death. Great. Okay.

It's not just humans that the technology wants to end. Technology hates dogs. I would be scared of having airpods in my ears in case they burrow

into my brain. Okay. It's real. I'm just trying to imagine we're in the diner. What do we have? We all have our phones. Yeah, I will have my phone.

I mean, first things first, pick up my phone, yeet it out of truck outside i don't need it well how can the what will the phone do it's gonna get really hot that's what i keep thinking real hot yeah the phone uh yeah cause uh then the battery dies the big idiot also your phone's always perpetually on three percent you're fine what percentage is your phone on right now? It's on 54. How do you like them apples? I like the idea of us in the diner and I'm just standing there next to us being like, ow, ow.

And you're like, did you throw your phone away? Ow. It's really low on battery. It'll die soon. Is it burning your leg right now? Ow. Yeah. Ow.

Take it out. I can't. It's hot. But technology can act in- Independently, kind of. Independently and in ways that technology can't usually move. So also a carving knife can kind of jump a little bit. Wait, what? Yeah.

So a knife- Like a carving knife. Oh, so like an electric carving. I just thought you meant like all technology is alive now and knives. No, no, no. So this is a carving. I just thought you meant like all technology is alive now and knife. No, no, no. So this is a carving knife that has batteries. It's able to both turn and kind of leap because it tries to cut off a lady's arm. Okay.

Doesn't succeed. She keeps working. Powerful. All right. So phones are like the only technology we typically have on our bodies. Okay. Phones. Yeah. Laptop.

Maybe. What's a laptop going to do? Chew on your hand? Who cares? we typically have on our bodies. Okay, phones, yeah. Laptop, maybe. What's a laptop going to do? Chew on your hand? Who cares? Like a clam, dude. Oh, look. Oh, look. He broke your mouth on my hand, you idiot. I guess we're lucky that a lot of the technology we use

is pretty flimsy, ultimately. Can explode. But I reckon I could snap my phone in half if I had to. I don't think you could. I reckon I could snap it in half. Yeah, try. Go on. No, I reckon I could snap the laptop screen. Go I had to. I don't think you could. I reckon I could snap it in half. Yeah, try. Go on. I reckon I could snap the laptop screen.

Go on, try then. I'm not. I don't believe you. Prove it. Prove you can. I don't believe either of you. Damn. It's called our bluff.

I'll keep my phone. Because there's an arcade at the truck stop as well. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, wait. We're always drinking like coffee and everything, dunking that phone in the coffee. Oh, done. stop as well. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, wait. We're always drinking, like, coffee and everything. Dunking that phone in the coffee. Oh, done.

Immediate phone. Great. Yep. I don't want no coffee. Wait, coffee machine also can squirt hot coffee at us. Yeah. That's bad. Other technology in a truck stop.

Jukebox. Jukebox. Oh, no. They're going to play bad music. I hate bad music. We'll tip it over. It's important to know in the actual film, the jukebox just turns off.

Wow, thank Christ. I want no part in this. Same with the lights. Just turn off. Okay, all right. Technology seems to be controlled by one central alien, weirdly. I guess alien because it involves a comet, and I associate space with aliens.

It could be radiation, I guess. Space is full of stuff that we don't understand or know. Yeah, or want to know. Yeah, when I look at the sky, I'm like, no, thank you. I'm not interested. So, okay. Not for me. Because obviously then the trucks come and cars will attack.

We don't have to follow the events of the movie specifically, but what is your defense? So I think- One important thing though, and it is vital to our survival plan is are we in dixie boy i think that's the name of the truck stop that exact truck stop or are we in generic truck stop well i what tell me why why is this important uh the owner of this truck stop has a bunker that is full of guns. Well, let's be in that one. Although I don't think I could kill a car.

Really? Not morally. I'm not like I want to take the car's life. I just imagine me with an AK shooting and I feel like the car is going to kill me before I kill it. Well, I guess to answer that question, where are we? Are we in Australia? Are we in America? Are we in America?

Are we in the UK? Because this guy owns a bazooka, which comes in handy. Yeah, bazooka, great weapon in the coming car war. How come the weapons? I guess there's no technology. No, a bazooka should, because that definitely would have. It's not like a rocket launcher with like, it's not heat secret. It's like a weird hand.

It's odd. It's like a weird hand. It's odd. It's like a mini bazooka. My strategy. Okay. And I don't know if this is sound would be to get inside a truck because the trucks can't kill themselves. And I don't know if the trucks are going to sacrifice another truck to end my life.

I'm sure they could just drive into a wall. Wait, do you mean the truck? Yeah. I mean, sorry, I'm in the trailer. Ah, do you mean the truck? Yeah. Sorry, I mean the trailer. Ah.

Yeah. Because what can they do? I hang out in the trailer of the truck. I get my meal by eating the bugs that kind of accumulate by climbing around the outside and sucking down that bug paste. Piss out the back of the truck. Shit out the back of the truck. Get used to sleeping on cold, hard metal. Yeah. Well, it sleeping on cold hard metal yeah well it's only a

week oh we've got it's only a week i just won't shit piss eat or drink for a week jackson dies not because of the trucks but because he forgot what human bodies need you need to piss but that's not the important part i mean you do you need to eat drink. A week isn't that short of a time. I'll piss at the end of the week, dude. Why do you care? Why piss? You can just piss. Well, no, because then the truck will know I'm in the back.

You're yelling. It can hear you. It doesn't have ears. It can hear you. Shit, it's noticed something. Shush. God, walking hurts. I need to shit so bad So

I just I'm just trying to get my head around it So every electronic Acts like an electronic except it wants to murder But they still have the same internal Organizations like So like a truck Huge spoilers Beep beep beep spoiler alert same internal organizations like or say like a truck vaccinations look sport yes huge spoilers

yeah okay beep beep beep spoiler alert trucks can be killed by like a bazooka like you just blow up the engine put fuel oh yeah and also uh a huge point is that the the uh trucks crack the shits yeah and demand more fuel oh look oh yeah we'll get that to you soon. We lie. And then they run out of fuel. Oh, they run into it. They crash into it. At that point, they break the truce and crash into the building. Oh, they learn. Oh, and also a military truck rocks up that has a gun attached.

Oh, that's so good. I love these trucks. That truck communicates with its horn in Morse code and its machine gun where it just kills people. There is an 80% chance I will work for the trucks. Emilio Estevez does that too. Joel Zammett is our Emilio Estevez. Which character in Maximum Overdrive doesn't shit for a week?

You could be Bubba the boss. He sucks. Also, he looks like Boss Hogg. That's good. You may not understand this, but that's good. At a certain point, the trucks want us to pop. Emilio Estevez calls your character a fuckhead. Oh. Was he being a fuckhead?

Yeah. He's your boss and you're out on bail. Thank you for giving me a job even though I'm out on bail, but you're a fuckhead. The reason that he does that is because Jackson's character, Boss Hogg or Bubba, employs people that are all on bail so that he can make them work extra

and only pay them for eight hours. Oh, no. And then threatens to fire them if they don't agree. Narrator. I'm just even kidding. How does working for the trucks go for Macevers? Well, he pretends to be working for the trucks, but then he blows them up.

What an idiot. That's the problem. He's pretending. Do the trucks let Zammett eat and sleep and shit and piss? Yes. Yeah, they sleep. There's an overnight situation. Eat and sleep, I'm like, I mean, sorry, eat and drink.

I'm like, that's a thing you need to, you can sleep, like, piss and shit. What? Why? I'm just, I mean, so eat and drink. I'm like, that's a thing you need to. You can sleep. Like piss and shit. What? Why? I'm just, I don't know. If you're in a truck, sleeping is the easiest thing you could do. I don't know about that. It's rocking around. Yeah, but.

It's like rocking you to sleep. And also a lot of them have that little cab you can kind of like crawl in and have a nap. I'm scared to be in the front of the truck. I'm remaining in the back. That is the worst place to be. Good luck. I'm in the front telling the truck. I'm remaining in the back. That is the worst place to be. Well, good luck. I'm in the front telling the truck's bedtime stories and whispering sweet nothings into their cabbages.

Get into the truck because then you can put on a seatbelt. We're in the back of the truck. The truck moves. You fly around and die. I'll just get through. I'll be like, hey, truck. Hey, truck, guess what? There's a piece of shit in the back of you.

Detach your trailer. Detach the trailer right now. Then we can destroy him. Run it back over. Detach, then reverse. I love you. It's great. So being outside does have a few downsides.

Even though trucks are big and loud, they do sneak up on a character at one point. Okay, so it's quiet. They can be quiet. They can be quiet. If need be. If they are required to. Why are they sneaking up on me?

They love me. Zamet's giving himself over to the truck overlords. If you agree to that, they would probably keep you alive based on the evidence of things so you might survive. But what happens in six days when the trucks stop doing that and humans are like, you betrayed

us. You betrayed us for the trucks. We burn you alive. You're no better than those trucks. You might as well be a truck. Wait, I. You're no better than those trucks. You might as well be a truck. Wait, I think you're no better than those trucks. I hid in a truck, sir. My behaviour was cowardly, but your cowardice was worse.

Well, there's a difference between cowardice behaviour and traitorous behaviour. Yeah, traitor v coward. Look, they were circling the the diner because they didn't think they could break through the wall the moment you make that assumption they didn't know that the prison was in their own brain like an elephant being chained up it is revealed that they don't crash in because they realize that there's a basement and trucks are heavy so that if they drove in they'd fall straight down and be stuck i was going for a nature versus nurture and i thought if i provided a good parental figure for truck maybe truck not be bad um

is this okay un petrol pump at one point also i just remember Someone tries to help the trucks early on And gets diesel sprayed in their eyes And then they're blind And they walk out and then immediately get hit by a truck That might also be me Yeah The trucks identify A traitor

And they're like oh yeah you can join us Oh I just want to care for them. Okay, if you're in a house, okay, you're in a... Yeah. Surely you just go down to the basement and wait it out.

Yeah, let's assume for a second we're not in the Dixie Dam doodle or whatever the truck's up is. We're just now. It's just now, right now. Right now. We can just hear trucks out in the street. Okay, right now the microphone's

punches in the mouth. We're hearing the trucks going, and the microphone's like, the mouth. We're hearing the truck's going, microphone's like, you better leave. Get out of here, dude. Sorry, we're just like podcaster technology. We're scared too. We're microphones attached to tables.

So yeah, surely they're just winding up slamming straight in the mouth. I like to think we've talked so much shit into them we've made them stupid. Oh my god, what's that them stupid. Oh, my God. What's that? Dude, it's a truck. What's a truck?

What? Guys, I think they're angry. You should leave. Thanks, microphones. Bye. Who were those guys? All right. So then we walk out of the studio.

Well, the studio we need to leave immediately. It's full. There's computers. Zaman's got a laptop in front of him that's probably going to try and bite his hands. Or dick. Or penis. I'm like, look, I wasn't scared about a hand,

but I am very attached to my penis. We know. Death, if you can't. I don't even know what I was trying to say there. Death before penis so we would leave we walk out through the door that's next to me there is only one door in here

ooh, theatre of the mind there's technology in the room next door but not really anything interesting what do you think in this house? I'm thinking there's a TV an Xbox a Playstation my Switch betrayed I'm thinking there's a TV, an Xbox, a PlayStation.

PlayStation's in here. My Switch. Yeah. Betrayed. Your Switch can probably shoot the Joy-Cons at you. Which piece of technology do you think is the most likely to kill you? I think a fridge will kill me. Yeah, a fridge is dangerous.

Honestly, if it happens right now, I reckon the microphone because they can hit us in the face. But you can stand up. Yeah. And they can hit us in the penis. You're very slow to get away. But you can stand up. And they can hit us in the penis. You're very slow to get away. Let me just stand up, ow, my penis, and then you walk out.

I just think a fridge, because a fridge is where the food is. So I'm going to need to eat, and I'm going to open the fridge, and it's going to land on me. Yes. Absolutely. And also, because the fridge tipping over to crush you is in character for the way these machines are possessed because the fridge could then probably open its door

to lift itself back up. Do you think the fridge could suck me in? Could I die like a kid in the 40s? Not suck you in, but as you open it, it closes on you and bumps you in to the fridge. Oh, that's true. And then you get presumably caught. How long till you noticed I was gone?

The next time you needed ham. Four weeks. I wouldn't realize I didn't need ham because you wouldn't be like talking about ham all the time. I wouldn't be reminding you how much you need ham. Again, so they've sealed you in, like I guess they're holding you in, so you're trying to push against it.

Are you trying to? It is funny to imagine I'm giving up. That's another thing. Cars now have uh like the locking mechanic of cars is electronic now so we you're not getting in a truck or a car oh that's true yeah i'm going to the door and then it's swiveling around and killing me do you think you'd survive you reckon you would make it out of this alive i just think the hard thing will be like finding a safe like like if you know what's happening, if like you come to terms with what's happening,

I think that you could probably manage, but you need to like know what's happening and act almost immediately. Because there's too many risks. Because like a phone, for instance, if that just explodes. That's you're done. Yeah.

I think so. We know what's happening. It's just like, yeah, run outside quickly. Turn off the fuse box. Yeah, that's clever. So you got no power coming in. So the things we've got now are stuff that's run by battery. So we've got phones that we're going to huck out into the street.

I'll bury them in the backyard. Same with laptops. Mistake. Why? Explode on the house, start a fire. Damn. Well, again, a stationary laptop and a stationary phone. Damn Well again Put them on So yeah A stationary laptop

And a stationary Phone Phone What are they gonna do They're gonna get hot Right It's the only thing they can do They can jump

The carving knife jumped Oh no They can You know Again getting pelted by a phone My headphones Could be another thing A lot of cords

If they can strangle you Yeah that's true Yeah but my The headphones I have are wireless. Borrow into your brain. So I can use the Bose ones. Ah, that's true. Like they're big and chunky, see them coming. But the AirPods!

I reckon if you're wearing headphones at all over here especially, they're just going to push it and pop your head like an egg. And the noise cancelling, I won't even know. You won't hear your own bones break. Did I hear something? And I'll take them off, I won't even know. You won't hear your own bones break. Did I hear something? And I'll take them off and I'll suck them out from one another inside my brain.

What? Man, these Bose QuietComfort 2 noise cancelling headphones are too good. I didn't even hear my head turn into an accordion. Okay, grabbing a lot of them and putting them in like a filing cabinet. Yeah, that's clever. Or even putting them in the fridge because now the fridge has no power. But opening the...

But it's got no power. That's true. So putting like air... Okay, air pods, headphones, laptops and that into the fridge. I wouldn't rely on your thing too heavily because I would be scared that fuse box is connected to main power so do they

have control of the fuse box they might let you pretend that you've turned all the power off then all of a sudden flick the fuse box back on and you are fucked you're halfway reaching into the fridge you just slam you get stuck in the fridge with a phone that's about to explode in your face damn damn me and jack jackson's gotta i don't know me and jackson i guess like where's amit i don't in your face. Damn. Me and Jackson's got a, I don't know, me and Jackson, I guess, like, where's Zalmatt? I don't know, probably doing something clever. He's saving the day, dude. He's saving the day.

Head chomped off by a fridge. Hand gone. He's saving the day, dude, and then I walk into the kitchen and I'm like, hey, remember what I was just saying about Zalmatt saving the day? Yeah, did he sell us out for the trucks? Not worse for him, but better for us, I guess, in that situation. What happened? I just hold up his head and I'm like, whoa, the fridge got him.

Damn. Anyway, let's drive out of here. Dude, we've got to drive away, get out of town. Jackson, no, think about that statement. What? Yeah, the country has no technology. Jackson, no. No, think about that statement. What? Yeah, the country has no technology. Jackson, no. Think?

Yeah, drive away to where there's... I don't get what the problem is. So then it's got to be like, right, we've got to... I would be like, we've got to go to the creek. Yes. That's my next move would be creek. If I'm not dead. If you're not dead.

And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, have you noticed that your shirts and or bags are often lacking in pins from your good friends at Sands Pants Radio? Well, that's easily remedied by heading to our merch store on SandsPantsRadio.com and grabbing one of our pins. We have the Sands Pants Radio logo, an always bet on piss D20, and Jackson's face that is a replica of his legally binding signature. Sold separately or as a set of three check them out at our merch store over at sanspantsradio.com because like the cars didn't want to come inside because they knew the trucks because they knew there was a basement yeah and the creek is the

kryptonite of any vehicle yeah you crash in the creek you crash in real life except canoes and bicycles which was my point i have two bicycles in the garage we can grab. However, guess what else is in the garage? Car. Oh, no. And guess what also can get to Creek? Motorcycle. Oh, that's true.

Damn. If the Creek is in a cool neighborhood, we're in trouble. We're not in a cool neighborhood, so we're good. It's great to imagine, like, our survival strategy is just to stand ankle deep in a creek for a week. Are they a creek or a treehouse? Yeah, treehouse is dangerous because a truck can hit the base of a treehouse and knock it over.

Yeah, but they're going to cause structural damage to its face. Yeah, but less structural damage than a creek. I imagine the truck driving over a bridge over the creek, turning to look down and we're ankle deep and we're like, what are you gonna do? Honk, honk, honk. Come get us. And then we hear a motorbike and I'm like, oh, run.

And then the army truck comes with guns. Shit, shit. Oh, all terrain vehicles, that's right. Oh, wait, SUVs. We are in all sorts of trouble. Also, SUVs in suburbs, that's right. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, SUVs. We are in all sorts of trouble. Also, SUVs in suburbs are now very common. Yeah, so I reckon a treehouse. Yeah, treehouse is good.

Treehouse in a backyard because you've got a house on either side. That's true, you're protected by houses. I've got to add some more bad news, though, because if you're building a treehouse, I would say that there's a higher chance that a house that has a treehouse also owns a chainsaw. The one that doesn't. True.

That makes a lot of sense. And the chainsaw is very- I can show my working. No, I don't want you to. I'm just trying to work out the- Or even a lawnmower. Just crashing in. A chainsaw, though.

Take down the tree. Yeah, but- It could probably swivel. Yeah. It could do that thing where it aims its blade into the ground And you know like Yeah I guess he just got their blade dented The big idiot chainsaw

Guys I don't know what a chainsaw is doing It just fucking wrecked itself Hey idiot Yeah that's what I thought Well see I think the sewers is the cleverest place Yeah What can follow you into the sewers? Quick question Where place. Yeah. What can follow you into the sewers? Quick question.

Where we are right now, how do we get to the sewers? Okay, so go out into the road. Yep. Hit by a car. Okay, guys, watch this. What? What was he saying? Was that his plan?

He just said, watch this. I've got it. I know where to go Watch this Was that the plan? Is that what he meant? Does he think cars operate like lions? Does he just sacrifice himself because he thinks they're going to feast? What was his plan? Did he forget the cars are alive?

Cars are the biggest hassle. We should have explained that to him, maybe. Speaking of biggest hassle, so behind us, we have construction work happening. Oh, no. Houses aren't that protected. Yeah, that's true. Because as much as a truck is like,

you know, the prison is on mine, and I'm loving that truck because that poor thing. Like, maybe it's just like, oh, I'm not designed, or it will, you know, the prison is on mine and I'm loving that truck because that poor thing. Like maybe it's just like, oh, I'm not designed or it will, you know, do me some structural damage. A bulldozer though is a bulldozer. And look, you've got a window directly behind where you're sitting, behind that is a fence. It's basically forward over there, construction site.

A nail gun could end you from this distance. I'm just like, what's going to happen is, a bulldozer is going to come through, hit the back of me. I'm going to, what's going to happen is a bulldozer is going to come through, hit the back of me, I'm going to belly into the desk, and then the microphone is going to just wail around my face. I'm like, oof! Oh, now the idiot's going to pin down!

Doof, doof, doof, doof! The laptop's going to bite my dick. I hate this. You get hit into the table, the microphone just goes straight into your mouth. Oof! I like to imagine this is all set off by, like, I look at my phone and I'm like, oh, hey, do you see trucks are alive now?

Oh my God. I wonder if that's related. I wouldn't know how to react to Sam being killed by a bulldozer. I'd be in shock for like a week and then it would be over. He was for the whole time in shock for like a week and then it would be over and i would oh my god you just read the news go into shock from that and just i'm over it dude yeah i think i'm okay now there's just a blast of hellscape oh another thing uh that could be hard to avoid planes oh yeah yeah we are in a bit of a flight path

but the thing with a plane is that if a plane wanted to kill me it would have to die itself unless the plane was very controlled and could swoop up and connect my

like if you're on an open road or highway you could be in trouble for a plane because I reckon it could probably if you're just like

going down a freeway which would you'd be dead anyway the plane could probably land and just suck you up into its engine and keep going. I like the idea of like a lighter than aircraft like coming down for a swoop and I grab its wheels and it takes me with it.

Guess what happens, Jackson? What are you going to do? Hold on forever? You have wet hands always. Oh no. Curse my wet hands. So going back to your sewer idea, I think a sewer idea is great. However, get me to a sewer right now. Okay, so, okay, we go to the toilet.

We pull it out, okay? Uh-huh, good start. We follow the pipe down. Have you seen how big a pipe this connection to the toilet is? No, I don't mean as in we go down the pipe. I mean we excavate down. With what? Our hands?

Our bare hands. How are you going to? Hey. Spoons? Hang on. Can you hear this? Yeah. So that was, the audience probably didn't hear it,

but it was the thud of a concrete slab. Okay. Then we've just got to wait till the cars are asleep. We go out and we climb down the storm water drains and we get in the sewers that way. Or what if we open up those stormwater drains and hide there? It's cramped, yes. One each.

Staring at each other over the road. Yeah, peering out like it. Yeah. Hey, remember it? Jackson, stop saying that. We don't actually have to go into the sewers proper We can just go into those storm water drains That's true

And just hide there for a bit It's only a week Which is actually not that bad In the long run It's going to be just an uncomfortable week And then it's over Then we're good We're in the storm water drains

So you can piss and shit as much as you like Yeah that's great news Eating though Eat rats You fool storm water drains so we can shit as much as you like yeah that's great news eating though eat rats you fool you just put your mouth up to where the water drains in

so you're so you're gonna get water and you can last a week probably without food yeah so the biggest thing is it's water I love the idea

that like you're like oh I've done you put your mouth up to the drain a truck just comes and dumps fuel on the road

I'm kidding waterboarded with oil Cool But yeah So yeah If it was like A bit of a wet day Yeah

As Melbourne is often to do Absolutely Yeah you could survive Drinking storm water After that week You're going to need Some medical attention Absolutely

Because I don't know What you've consumed Yeah I don't know What I drank But I reckon You're not going to consume Anything that will kill you In a week

I'll make that claim Yeah I think that's Accurate I'm going to be- Cigarette butts? That's just a good nicotine, baby. It keeps me awake. Eating nothing but cigarette butts and leaves will do bad things to your insides.

And maybe like all the animals that the trucks hate will get washed down to the stormwater. Dead cats and stuff. Eat like a possum. I'll be looking out at you guys with very pale face. Remember it? I also love day two. I'm like, hey, remember how I remembered,

remember when we did that episode, I remember, it's meta now, I remember how I remembered that the machines also hate dogs and Jackson's like, what? And makes an agape face as a toy car just drives into the drain and straight down his throat. Help me! Oh yeah.

Small things. I forgot about small things. It's good also to imagine for some reason just a lot of remote control cars attacking me but leaving you alone. Do you remember it? Remember this is like this is like, this is like,

guys, just, this is like it. Sorry, I've got cars in my throat. Sorry, they're killing me specifically for some reason. But I wanted to say, this is like the film It. And the book.

Did you know the original title for that was Clown? Remember Stephen King's Clowns? Clowns? There's only one. Oh, yeah. Jackson, fight back. They're just little. They're wee.

They're remote. You can pick them up. Move your lips from the drain. I don't want to go hungry. Okay. So, wee. Move your lips from the drain. I don't want to go hungry. Okay, so yes. Going low, but what about climbing on the roof? That's clever as well. Planes. No, what could a plane do?

A helicopter. A helicopter can just go upside down and off we go. Can helicopters fly upside down? Surely not. I don't know. They can angle, yeah. You're getting shredded. Either way, like, maybe we as humans can't because we're not

competent, but a helicopter knows its own body. Hey, what about stormwater drain, but sort of different. What if we just crammed in the toilet? Oh, yeah. Safest part of the house. I guess. I'm part of the house. I guess. I'm just trying to think.

I mean, in this house, the toilet is literally right in the middle. So if a car crashed into it, the toilet's probably the safest. Okay, we've got to remember as well that the cars don't know. I mean, technology does, but the cars don't know we're here, right?

Like, they can't sense us through walls, right? No, they can hear us, and they seem to be a network because in the movie, when all the trucks need gas, they all come to... But I don't know if it's because trucks... Like, truck networks have radios, so maybe trucks can just

communicate to other trucks. We don't have any CB radio, so we don't know. But does that mean the microphones are going to be like, hey, trucks, we're hiding in the shit. We're literally talking into microphones that are connected to a computer. Oh, man. We're letting the trucks know now. That's scary.

We're not saying where we are. Yeah, that's true. Hey, shit trucks. What you going to do about that? The computer's like, yeah, but we have GPS. We have IP address. We all have phones. None of you are putting your phone down.

You idiots. You dumb, dumb boys. Oh, I've put airplane mode idiots. You dumb, dumb boys. I've put aeroplane mode on. Track this, motherfuckers. And then it explodes in your hand. What do you think happened? Hey, move out of the way. I need to dip my hot hand in the toilet.

Jackson, stop drinking out of it. We've been in here for 10 minutes. I don't want to drown. Drink out of the cistern. The cistern. Drink in the back of it. It's all the same water. No.

The thing that's going to kill us is getting mad at one another. I'm going to see if I can deal with the trucks. Anything's better than this. All right, rather than going on the roof. Yeah. Attic. Oh, yeah. That seems clever.

In the crawl space. Stairs are hard for car. Yeah. Stairs are hard for car. If house maintains any structural damage, attic might be bad, but I feel like we're going to be okay in a week. Here's my question. Where are we going to find an attic? Great question.

There's a crawl space. Yeah, crawl space. It's more comfortable than the theater. Rats! Or possums. So many possums are always scritching and scratching at night and keeping me up. It'll stink up there. What is humanity like once Maximum Overdrive is over? Do we boon our

cars? We'd probably go Amish. Or Amish, if you want to say the word right. Amish. People of the world, we're going Amish. Hi, what is that, me? Oh, sorry, Amish. What did I say? Remember when horses were cars?

They're horses again now. Horses were always horses. And they remain horses. What? What's wrong with the leader of the world? Did we elect an idiot? Sorry, guys. I've had a rough week.

We all have. I don't know if you know but the trucks came alive I live in a big house There was a lot of technology Yeah, stuff was stressful Anyway, we're omish now Horses used to be cars, now they're horses again Goodbye

I think I'm being clear So goodbye and good luck And so I guess then yeah We would just burn all of our technology. It happened once, it can happen again. Yeah. Absolutely. Unless we're able to prove that it was just the comet,

then we might be like, we're scared for a bit and then be like, ah, are we fine? You'd have a tendency. Look, it'll be like a couple of months. Yeah. A couple of months where we don't use technology. We kind of all be like, no, with that, that's too much of a hassle.

It might borrow into our brain and squish our heads. Yeah. Those beautiful, quiet comfort to whatever the great. Head isn't accordion. Don't hear your own brain. Yeah. But then like maybe two, three months we're like, I miss my car.

I'll be like, I wonder what's on Twitter. And then we're back. www.twitter.com. Laptop slams in your hands. Never actually. Oh, no. Sense of security yeah did we survive

no did we come up with many interesting solutions to the maximum overdrive problem also I'd argue no we definitely came up with things how about this though

actually that's a great idea sure okay what I do is I get so I you need a bit of prep. Okay. Because what you've got to do is you've got to drill two holes into a fridge. Okay.

Okay, one for breathing out, one for shitting and pissing out, all right? Yes. And then you survive that week in that fridge eating all the fridge food, and the fridge is like, I want to get you out of there, but I can't. Because you are in me. Would you or us be capable of living in a fridge for that long? He'd be cramped, but I think he'd be okay. You don't think it'd be too cold and you'd get sick and die?

In a week. Plus I've got the air holes. Yeah, that's what the air hole was for. The fridge can also crank its own temperature. Let's see how Zamat's plan was. He's frozen. I haven't seen any pisses or shits come out of the piss or shit hole for a bit. I've been keeping track.

That's my daily activity. Gotta keep myself sane. What's warm? Lathering myself up in butter? I guess. It'd be an interesting 127 hours story of what you did to survive trapped in the fridge. I like to imagine you- I drank a lot of maple syrup.

Dusha opening the fridge, seeing you covered in butter, frozen, belly distended with maple syrup. Goes to the stormwater drain. I have a car down my throat. Shat everywhere because I ate nothing but drain water. I just sat on the toilet and was safe. You're like, well, my legs are a bit sore. I'm hungry.

That's something. That's for sure. But I drank out of the top of the toilet. Ah, clever. Yeah. Yeah. I think we did it now. Yeah, I think with that addendum, we survived maximum overdrive.

Well, I survived. Yeah, well, at the very least, one of us. And if not one of us, if not, look, hey, I'm, what am I trying to say? And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. And we survived Maximum Overdrive.

If one of us survives, then we all survive. Yeah. One for one or one for all. Mighty Ducks. Three Musketeers. Millie West of Us. Whack. Thanks for listening.

And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio, or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit. If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you want to hear our other shows You can head to sanspantsradio.com

And you'll find all our other content there There's heaps And if you want to support us Head to sanspantsplus.com Thank you again for listening And we'll see you again next time Goodnight for now But not forever

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