Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Survive a Quiet Place?

Episode Date: September 15, 2024

Things are off to a bad start when Zammit wants to de-voice himself and JD wraps himself in a blanket before landing on 'being on a boat' would be the best way to survive a Quiet Place. However, now what? They don't know how to fish, discussion of desalination only leads to yelling which is the one thing they really shouldn't do. The boys argue about magnetic south, try to eat fish bones and fail to catch seagulls (for its hydrating blood) before a quick divergence into JFK young juice conspiracies and qanon's interesting theories about that one bad day in Dallas. Either way, how bad can salt water really be?Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+If you’re in the UK and want to see three beautiful idiots live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see us in Edinburgh, Manchester and/or Birmingham if they're not sold out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joe. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks important questions like, how would you survive a quiet place? So the number one thing in a quiet place you gotta be freaking No one say nothing. Yeah first question. Where does my voice live second question? Can I get it out with a knife? Throat and you still make noises like stabbing your lungs make the noises happen Your personal chest you go home the noises happen? Cause if you press on a chest, you go, oh,

Oh yeah. No. When they, when they, when they dissected a lion and they put like, they got the throat of the lion, the deadline. And they put like air through it. It roared. Did they put the air up the talkers of the lion and then pump a bellows? Like how did it work? No, they cut off its head. Well, I sacked it and then they fell off Lion's head fell off We'll feed the body to the zebras and we'll take the head

You know in a quiet place. Yeah, like in some movies It's like a zombie apocalypse or like an outbreak or whatever. Yeah, anybody made a movie with a disease is your head fall off? Good movie. Oh, no, the first symptom is red eyes. The second symptom is sore ears the third symptom Your head falls off and you're already dead Okay, it's not like your head falls off and you're living You can't live without a head. Guys, I don't feel so good. My eyes are red Just slides off my body onto the ground. Oh no, he was infected!

We all touched him. Oh no! My eyes are starting to get red and my ears are starting to hurt. Shloop, shloop, shloop. Damn, dude. So, your strategy was bold and violent and you don't really know what you're cutting or what's going on. I respect it first.

Well, I think, I got my Adam's apple. I was going to say, while you permeate on that, while you figure... I can straight through. Yeah, yeah. And you're going to do that without making any noise? Oh, yeah, because I've already come, huh? Ow! Boom!

Yeah. Because I figured I'm going to duct tape up my mouth. Oh, yeah. You're going to be breathing out your nose. Out my nose? Okay, well, well you're gonna block nose. Breathe badly, but I would still breathe. Yeah, yeah. Mike, another issue, I guess, with either duct taping

or removing a whole voice box is like, your tummy, you're in your mahungi. Yeah. R, I guess Doctor move me mouth then just wrap your body in a blanket We find your body and I'm very quietly I'm like he overheated He blocked up every hole and overheated no Blocking up every hole you can still do farts and whatever but because it's in the blanket it'll be muffled. Well what about when you need to go searching for food? What if we somehow devised, so like soundproofing, but like not the like what we have in our studio,

but we used to have those like those egg shells, like those foam things right? I know we used to have like some that were big and foamy right? So what if we've got a bunch of them and somehow the trick is to get us thinking Attaching them to like plywood right like one for like a box over your head You still see through it, but if it's muffled we can still make noises with our mouths Okay, not be heard, but then making that's gonna. I really like the two of you sacrificing maneuverability and increasing your clumsiness Tenfold so that you can fart and yell.

Well, I mean, I'm not farting or yelling. Yeah, but I don't need to. I'd be farting. Everyone farting. We'll leave on. You gotta stop farting. Well, that's why, yeah, just duct tape and then because you just take the duct tape off slowly, which does hurt, but it won't be,

compared to being torn apart by monsters, the pain of tape being removed, you can cop that. What if I duct tape to my mouth and then my butt hole? No, that's bad. You can't block both ends. You can't go airtight. What if I went airtight? And then when I was like, I don't see no aliens.

No. I think I'm safe. Just undo a little bit of duct tape and lift up a cheek. The first time tear off all your ass hair. Yeah. Your eyes watering because you still don't want to yell And then an alien coming and killing you because you thought oh I didn't see you until I'm safe Yeah Well if that's the case just act normally until you see an alien and then be quiet if you think that that is

That's how they attracted to me. Yeah, cuz if I make a sound then they're like OOF They're gonna run to me So I got a brief moment So very quiet at all times and then Then they're like, huh, and they beeline it but then I'm like duct tape back, you know back Oh, I'm gonna move somewhere else. Yeah, it's so funny. I'm actually like a big echo e abandoned car I'm imagining this in like a big echoey abandoned car park or something.

Yeah, I guess. Oh. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. The aliens zeroing in on you. Yeah. That's also weird.

Where's the best place to be? Well, behind the waterfall in a cave, which as shown in the first quiet place. Yeah, yeah. That's a probably pretty good. I don't know where I can get access to a waterfall. Well, pretty much you just need to go anywhere that's got like a constant noise that Earth is creating

What about if I go to a construction site and I turn on all the jackhammers? Well, I just live in there well no cuz the moment you turn on the jackhammers you get killed no I stay quiet So you get killed and they come in they're just like oh, it's just a jackhammer or they tell my jackhammers to shred Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay? You can't attack a waterfall you can it just won't do anything yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, okay, you can't attack a waterfall. You can, it just won't do anything. Yeah, I was thinking, well, like, you know, a studio, they're kind of soundproof. Mm-hmm. And then you have like, you know, a waterfall. I can do like an app, like sleep sounds. Oh yeah, yeah, ambient noise or whatever.

But the problem there is, one, it relies on electricity. Two, some of them rely on internet connection. I'm fairly certain at the moment that happens. Maybe, I don't know, like the auto-Google is like, I I'm so sorry but I have no internet connection yeah yeah and then every alien well yeah I mean there is actually probably some easy ways to do it like a quiet place neglects you like on the ground oh yeah like anything that's got a basement no one can hear you in the basement But it's in like sounds that they're hearing or is it like the vibrations good question I think it's my brain. Oh, no, they're got very sensitive ears

Sound is vibrations That's buddy makes so much the trouble is you can't stop the body making noise Yeah That quietest room in the world and you can go in there and maybe people only last like like half an hour If that because I can hear everything. Yeah, you can hear your organs going On your belly. Yeah, your stomach's gonna be grumbling all the time because you're very hungry at all times I can't think of the quietest food. Yeah Mashed potato

We both picked really interesting choices there. Mashed potato is quiet. You can probably use mashed potato to muffle a gun. Yeah. Banana? You can get a banana? Banana is good, you're an assassin. You don't have a silencer.

You pull a banana, put it on, and the banana peels. Well, yeah, cause like, I just think that like, if you're in a basement or something, because the alien's not going to dig to find you, and also because it just combats like, so like natural sounds on Earth, obviously it isn't just like, huh, to all of them. It understands as a basic natural background vibration.

So like waves crashing and stuff like that, It's not gonna go punch the sea also They can't swim yeah, so realistically because we've seen a quiet Yeah, we could just get on a boat despite the fact that it may seem like we don't really remember it We have at least seen two out of three films. I think I've definitely seen one. Yes me too We've seen one out of three films. I've definitely seen two It's actually right now a bit of a shock that there was three. I only thought there was two. There's one where they go to sea and there's one where it's before it even happened.

There's a quiet place. There's a quiet place two. I forgot about that one. Came out during COVID. Quiet place day one. I know that though. Yeah, exactly. Say we decided to live in a boat.

Now obviously we are fine from the aliens, but in this world do we live on the boat forever? I think we have to. Do you know how to fish? Yes. From a boat? Yes. Well how hard can it be?

You get a line, you put a bit of bait, worm. How are we getting worms? Dude, when you're that far out at sea you could make a fucking net and just stick it in the sea We bring it and bring it that how we getting how we make in a boat How we're making a fishing we don't start in the sea with nothing yeah Threading water well, okay, I guess yeah if we we went to the docks very quickly got a boat And then you went went into the yeah Well, I think we're going on a boat you can bring one thing that we're grabbing in our rush to get out to sea

What would you grab? Nat? Mmm, Nat Someone's gotta bring the Nat Someone's gotta bring the Nat And I'm not bringing the Nat Knife? We need knife Okay, I'll bring knife

And then we need something to cook No, we need water No, we need water You know if it's the three of us we get there, you've got Nat and me and Zavit both have knives. I was thinking half-bood gun, but as you were talking I was thinking we need water. I got a bottle of water. One bottle of water not going to be enough. How do you get water? Desalination.

Rain. Okay, desalination. Rain. Yeah, but rain, you can't always rely on rain. Why not? Do you think you can rely on desalinization? Yes, because the water is full of water! The sea! The water is full of sea! There's not a sea in this water!

The water is full of water! No sea water! What's the matter by water? You're just gonna get the salt out! Exactly! Water all around, let them have a drink! Exactly! You get a top, step one. Yeah. You put the top... This sounds heaps like rain, dude. No, it's not rain. Shut your fucking mouth! You get the top... This sounds heaps like rain dude. No it's not rain, shut your fucking mouth.

You get the top over the top of you. Over the top of me? You hate the salt, I remember. Okay. So we make like a tent. You make a tent on a boat. Alright, we're in a boat, I get a bucket, I have it over the side, grab a bucket, we got a bucket of seawater. I'm like, I'm very thirsty Jackson. Yeah yeah yeah, you know what bucket we got a bucket of seawater. I'm like I'm very thirsty Jackson. Yeah yeah you know what we got a tarp. Okay we set a tarp up

oh do we have a way of heating up that water? How? Like a hot plate? Or can I light a little fire? Would you allow me to light a little fire? It feels like we need like a gallon drum you, and then we can like make that as a fire What do you think will happen when you light a fire on a boat? Well, yeah, yeah, I'll go on the roof where it's metal Okay, so what do you think is gonna happen when you set a fire on the boat on the roof? Yeah, and make the metal hot. Yeah, and what else happens with fire? It spreads Yeah

Unless you control. Yeah, but even when it's controlled. Yeah, like the Jackets being also if this end is it's gonna burn a hole in the top anyway, right onto your head Jackson stop melts Alright cuz I'm thinking like, you know, yeah Okay, we if we can get a boat that has like a lot of other stuff on it Wait, you have to like yeah if we have say a drum that we can then like chuck in that wood. Where are we getting the wood? I don't know.

So you have to heat the water to the point where it evaporates, so 100 degrees Celsius, then the water evaporates, hits the top, and then drips back down? Yeah, that's desalination. I don't know if you actually need to boil the water. That might not be part of it. You would have to, to separate the water and the salt. But the sun might do it. I don't know, because it's a thing you can do. You don't need to boil the water that might not be part of it you would have to Sun might do it. I don't know because it's a thing you can do you don't need to necessarily you can do it at the sea maybe

Vaporates under the top and then it drips down the sides of the top and what drips down is Desalinated and the salt remains at a top Jack Jack, isn't that just how you collect dew? Like morning dew? It could be. I don't know. The top would also probably be involved in catching rain. Yeah, well we'll do that too, but we can't always rely on rain.

It doesn't rain all the time. What you would do, get your top, put it over something, poke a big hole in the middle. Yeah. Now what? Get the big like a hole in the middle. Yeah Get the top covered like as much space as possible. So over the wait So it's a taut top. Yeah hole in the middle not taut not loose top No, it's loose. Well loose ish. It has to be so that it sags into the middle Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, all right taut taut that won't work All right

It needs to like kind of sag in a little bit to the middle where there's a hole Uh-huh. You put a bucket under that hole. Yeah, it rains all the rain runs into that drops into the bucket So you're getting as much rain over? Do want it toward around the side you want a bit it pulled down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Yeah, it needs to angle in yeah, you know once like a bottle that blows away Then we dehydrate and dry out and die. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right, so that's but I guess you will get seawater in there As well, so we are drinking I guess you will get seawater in there as well So we are drinking salty water. Well, maybe we just We'd be selling. I yeah, we just figure out how to drink

We've all very quick 40 over 150 can you drink see blood? Yeah. Wow. I'm already a sorry about a guy He was stranded at sea for over a year. And he drank heaps of blood. And he ate heaps of livers. Was he good when he came back? The first thing he had was a big hamburger.

And they said, brother, you cannot have it. Well, he arrived on an island, and it was a very remote island. And there was a family who found him washed up on the shore on his boat. And they brought him inside his house, their house and they were like what the fuck happened to this guy and he ate every piece of food they had in their home yeah and then but it was sick I know he was just so hungry no but oh yeah he well I think I can't imagine it'd be good he did yeah he was in a bad way already so I think it's hard to tell what was anyway but then when they're

living off seagull blood and then you say like a bit of spam. Oh the spam was the problem saddest part for that guys halfway through his journey He makes friends with a bird and then he runs out of food and he has to eat the bird He says that was the saddest thing he's ever done No, which is funny because he went to see with a live guy who died that he had to push into the water But he's like, oh, I know this guy Yeah, yeah, yeah Anyway Is that what life of pie is based off? I don't think so

Was life of pie real? No, I don't know if our boy has survived with a tiger I think that would be the end of you No, but you don't remember life of pie I haven't seen life of pie Oh, but is that really a tiger? No, it's a metaphor for hunger For God, baby He's on the boat with God, could be I don't seen life of pie. Oh, but is that really a tiger? No, it's a metaphor for hunger? For God, baby?

Well, he's on the boat with God, could be? I don't know. Was life of pie real? But I don't think so. It's a fictional story. But anyway, when he ends, he's in hospital, and he's like, I need a fricking cheeseburger. And the journalist who's like reporting on it all

is like, I can't get you a cheeseburger. And he's like, get me a cheeseburger. What are you gonna do? And they say a cheeseburger will kill you, dude. And he's like, just do it. I don't care. I've survived this long that I want a cheeseburger and he's like get me a cheeseburger. What are you gonna do? They say a cheeseburger will kill you dude. I don't care I've survived this long and I want a cheeseburger. That's what gets me good. Also if this guy's just furious at me what are you gonna do? You're so weak. Yeah exactly.

I could punch you in the head and my hand probably go through your presumably soft skull now. Your bones go weak. Well yeah I don't really have much like calcium or nothing. Yeah. He would have reverted back to baby mode. Unless you chew it on bones. Not seagull bones. Is it calcium in fish bones?

Do you get calcium from eating bones? Well there's calcium in bones. I figured if you had access to a whale bone and it was gnawing on that you'd get some calcium. There is calcium in bones. The idea of getting a whale bone by yourself would be hard. And then I thought about a bird. Well they've got hollow bones, don't know what that means, so they're going to have to fault the fish and fish bones might get caught in your throat. And that's my thought process. If you eat a full fish skeleton, that's full of calcium. Yes. Goes into your stomach. Yes. Your stomach dissolves the fish bones. Yes, sure, I presume. Time to close my WasLife of Pyreal search tab and open a new one that says,

can you get calcium from eating bones? Probably. Fish bones. Because there's calcium in bones. I've seen deer chew on bone and that they need it for calcium. Well, yeah, then you can get calcium from bones. It's not just for milk.

Yeah, birds chew on like those cuttlefish things. Yeah. Was that just to give them something to do? Nutrients with a sharpening beak. That was the classic thing in primary school where you... I found a website called Precision Nutrition, which is, uh, giving me a recipe for cooking bones. It's just a page that says bone. Bones.

Well you use bones when you're making like a nice stock or something. Like a stock or whatever. The best way to release nutrients found in bones is to make a bone broth. There you go. While you are likely to gnaw on a bone for a snack, bones are an excellent source of nutrients.

You don't know me well. I'm gnawing on a bone like a damn dog, dude. As long as they are prepared in a way that favors human digestion, I don't think just eating raw fish burns would be that... Well, here's what we'll do for calcium on the bone. Every time you guys eat fish, you give me the bones. Uh-huh. I hate step one.

Okay. And I'll just, with a rock or something, grind it. Yeah. Yeah, you can put on the next fish you eat Yeah, bone powder and fish. I got bone paste almost as well. There's a bit of water that was collected from our tarp. Yeah exactly, we take the desalinated And we're eating bones. Here's what's for dinner when the fish aren't coming in. Fish and bone paste. No, well sometimes you can't get the fish. No, it's got to be bone paste. It's a blend of desalinated water and rainwater with a sprinkling of bone. Still haven't quite figured out how to do desalination.

It's salty bone juice. Bon appétit. Apparently life on land is hell. This is good. This is worth it. We can talk though. That's true. You can talk to your husband and he can go... We can lament how bad this is. This is yuck!

Jackson, you needed a mortar and pestle because these bones are not crushed enough. How far... It's good to have calcium, eat up. How far into the shallows and how quick are these quiet monsters? I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God.

I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God.

I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God.

I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. Which is weird because they wrote an asteroid from space Yeah, so they could raw dog space but can't survive in the sea Okay, I don't need to breathe but water gets into their knot lungs. Yeah into their holes What about on the boat? Uh-huh? We we try they can climb onto boats if you're not careful But if we're deep enough, it won't matter they could they don't like jump. Yeah, it's just like yeah Well, they can jump but like not in the sea I'm pretty sure the second they jump off like they don't from they can't like no

Yeah But they will like if the boats above them and they can reach it they'll climb up or like they'll jump from a dock onto the Like a sandbank. Yeah, could we bring like a like if we got a bigger boat like enough animals to breed from meat and milk You want to do Noah's Ark? Yeah, so we get it so somehow we got access to let's call it a cruise line Okay, huge the Titanic Oh my god Could never see I know I know Never believe this I spur it hit one

What? You'll never believe this. Sixth-fourth iceberg. It hit one, sunk. But it was not sickable. I know dude, I know. That's what they said. They said it was... We should tell someone.

Yeah. Do people know? Oh they know. People are aware. Yeah. Oh no. Yeah, they are. There's a magical movie we get to show you soon.

Oh my god. I like this character of guy For whom the Titanic just he missed Yeah A bit of history just like what what how did I not hear about this? But he knew about the Titanic He knew the Titanic existed He stopped reading He was reading an article about the Titanic

Titanic gonna go to somewhere from the UK to New York Yeah a huge port unsinkable You see them but then you're like, yeah What can happen to a boat that's interesting I hope we beat the Russians to the moon Guy who only reads half an article every time. Yeah The president love it, I reckon yeah Did the president love it? I reckon. Do you know what happened to the president at the time?

Which president? Kennedy, JFK, current president, JFK. So he didn't see the end of this guy who thinks JFK is the president in 2024. Can he do it?

Max 8 years. President for life, JFK I saw a video where people were asked who the who they want the VP for Trump to be and they said Oh it's gonna be JFK cause he's not actually dead. Yeah. That's awesome. JFK Jr

Yeah. Oh Yes. Yeah yeah. And they were all waiting for him cause they were gonna make an announcement and then it just didn't happen Oh, that's a cure nothing isn't it? Yeah, the junior was the real it was JFK senior Yeah, yeah, the real Q anon the real Q was JFK ju senior and JFK juniors gonna come back No, I heard that JFK junior. Yeah was the JFK that got shot in the head But he'd been in hiding the whole time cuz he didn't really get shot in the head

So JFK junior the one that got down in the heli- one that got down in the helicopter with a helicopter. Yeah, like Yeah, then he was JFK. He got got he was motorcade JFK Yeah, I then JFK senior was on the helicopter or no one was on the helicopter I don't think no one was on the helicopter, but so so jr. Who was like how old would he have been? Yeah? Like what toddler age? What I've heard JF people believing that JFK, Why was his mom kissing him or whatever? I don't know dude

Don't ask me to look for a logic here Was Jackie O his mom or was he a kid from a different situation? JFK, senior I'm afraid gentlemen I am out of answers Is there a storm coming or something? JFK I'm afraid gentlemen. I am out of answers Is there a storm coming or something? JFK senior is that the same like I think so I feel I'm about to get I've got to have a bad day in Dallas Yeah, he's like get my baby boy. Uh-huh dress him up like me No, I think I don't know I don't know why I went to explain it. I don't know why I dived in. I don't have the answers.

When was Junior born? He was born in 1960. Okay, when did JFK have the horrible day in Dallas? Was it in 63? Yes, it was in 63. I was getting 63 and 69 confused, but 69 is when we landed on the moon. Right. So a three-year-old, he's like, okay, baby, for the good of the country, I'm gonna put you in my JFK suit, and then you're gonna try and look like a man.

You're gonna be like the bad guy in Boss Baby 2. It's gonna be your baby's head on a man's body. And no one, even though we've got a couple of different films that show this, everyone's like that is them that is the face and head of a man and not a baby Yeah, and that's what happened. That's the boat. That's what they believe in a helicopter crash. No one was there Yeah, because somehow JFK senior had taken some what young juice He'd taken some youngening pills. And then he took some youngening pills.

Was in like, you know, media, I guess, that people saw him, whatever, like photos. And like, damn, look at JFK Jr. That's a young man, aging appropriately if he was born in 1960. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. A helicopter crash happened.

So it was a light plane crash. A light plane crash a light plane Yeah, and Jeff JFK jr. Was the pilot and I've just seen of like possible contributing factors, and there's so many Yeah, JFK jr. Should not have been flying that plane They're like, oh, yeah, it was bad haze and visibility. He'd had his pilot's license for less than a year He hadn't trained properly for less than a year. He hadn't trained properly. He had psychological stress. There was five minutes where it seemed in the logbook that he was very distracted. Hey, hey, hey, he's got to do this to Dooku.

What year was it? 1999. Alright. He's excited for the millennium. Uh, cause... What year was it? 1999 Yeah, alright He's all excited for the Millennium The Will-enium? He was too excited for the Will-enium that was coming Yeah There was bad weather

He was meant to fly during the day but the flight was late and departed at night Yeah, the flight was late but he's the pilot No, no, no, so he was meant to leave earlier in the day and then his sister-in-law finished work late so he was like I'm away for him. There was no flight plan He flew over featureless open water He had a fractured left angle and was maybe using the incorrect left angle Left ankle. Okay left ankle left ankle right okay okay I don't know how the planes work yeah use your feet he walked with a limp on the

day of his accident well yeah cuz he had a fractured left ankle dude what'd you go from a paragliding accident which is funny maybe he wanted to die real bad. Dude don't get in the air if you're that bad. And then also on top of all of that it looked like the plane was tuned to incorrect radio frequencies. When he was listening to like gold 109, hits from the 70s. Oh this rules! I wish my ankle wasn't this long. Well, cause the reason that they know he was distracted- Yeah, can't see anything in this feature of his ocean.

Yeah, I wish I had a feature to orient myself with. Is because the local flight tower or whatever got a detection that he was flying in the way of an American Airlines flight. Oh my god. And they tried to get him to move and just didn't respond Imagine flying a lighter than aircraft and getting hit by a... Like that would be...

Like a 747 I can't even imagine that You're just like, okay, so, blue, does that mean ocean or sky? Am I upside down or the right way up? That's crazy I think as well if you got hit by like a 747. Yes. Like you gotta be like, what are the odds? Like there's so much air. So much space in the sky. Yeah, like how are you gonna get hit head-on by another plane? So yeah, so I guess so no one went in that plane. Yeah

That was just like a lie maybe. Maybe he landed it on an island maybe to so he could do his secret taking down of the deep state. Yeah. And then in the year of our Lord, 2022? I think so. Something like that. Yeah.

They're going to be like, yes, here he is because JFK Jr. was shot in Dallas. The senior. And when was senior born? Uh, like 19. It would have been the thirties. in Dallas, the senior, and when was senior born? Uh, pfft. When was JFK? Like 19... It would have been the 30s, probably.

Yeah. Okay, so how would make him... Holy shit! No, he was 40 when he was killed, I think. Yeah, so it would have been... Yeah, it'll make him de-crappin'. But he was gonna fix the country. And he was gonna fix the country.

Yeah. A guy who has been in hiding? Yeah. I suppose. But isn't there also a thing of like, he did get shot in the head the head but they saved his brain and then he put his brain in someone else? Hell, the bullet went into the brain! He was born in 1917. He would be over a hundred years old. What's that? Speaking of plane crashes.

A 78 year old man is not good for the country of America! J.F.T. Jr.'s cousin after the crash had this awesome quote, he'll find a way to get out, he possesses the will to survive, enough will for all three of them. And then officials were like, we're not optimistic. Yeah. Speaking of awesome conspiracies about plane crashes,

who is that? I think they're a singer. And in interviews, they keep talking about how they survived a plane crash, but every journalist that's investigated the plane crash has discovered that there was no such crash. But she brings it up in every interview, she's like, I was in the middle of a tour I think, and we crashed somewhere in like Las Vegas maybe? But it seems like it never happened.

It was Paula Abdul. Paula Abdul, that's right. She jams with a cat. She's like, I was in a plane crash that nobody can find any evidence on and it keeps on changing the story and they're Like why did she invent a plane crash in 19? Yeah, she claims she survived a plane crash in Iowa in 1992 and everyone's like I think she they cried the plane crashed into a cornfield Yeah, like there's no evidence of his plane crash. It didn't happen Why but I think it's also like her tour was doing really badly maybe and she pulled out halfway through and they're like was this her attempt to explain why she stopped doing the tour?

There was that crash. She's like I crashed. She was like how am I going to get out of this tour and save face? Crash the plane into a cornfield. Okay. The end. Well speaking of planes then, we've explored a little bit of the ocean. What about planes?

Can we... Well they need to land and they're very loud. Yeah, when they take off and land but in the sky we're good. And what will happen when we run out of... So, you know, like when planes have layovers and whatever, what are they doing to the plane? They're refueling. What if we got a light plane and then we like flew it to a little island somewhere?

Okay, we could live an island life. Yeah, I think that island life might be a little easier than boat life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, island life is just like boat life, you know, plus. It's like boat life, but you've got, you can walk around a little. Sand, not getting seasick. Yeah, exactly. You can find water if there's a river.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You can find water if there's a river Yeah, is that I'm wondering what are the noises that the human body makes the overall noises, okay So there's like that digestive noise anything from like, you know burping Yeah, this they're like regular digestion if you're like hungry the grub rub rub and fighting fighting Noises snoring like hungry, and fighting. Fighting, but also- So that's the digestive system. Then you've got- Mouth noises. Mouth noises. Snoring, sniffing, like I just did then.

It was awesome. Sniffing. Night terrors. Night terrors. Squeezing. Oh my god, the monsters are coming! Well that would be a scary night terror because you'd wake up and be like, oh this was just a dream, but then that monster would be over you because you screamed.

Scraining if you're taking, like, you know, a real impacted shit. Yes, that's true. Pissing. Kidney stones. Pissing too loud? We're just pissing too loud. Pissing too loud. Pissing in the toilet, but actually hitting the water first. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a loud noise. Yeah. There's like a lot of things you need to just take into account. Stomping your toe. Yeah. Absolutely. Shitting into water, last slaps. Most things into water. Dive bombing, doing like a cannonball into water, last loud Most things into water, dive bombing, doing a cannonball into water

Yelling, belly flops Talking, yeah, yeah, yeah Yelling like a, hey mom look at me, belly flopping Check this out, check this out Uh, yeah, not good, not good, not good Well in the first, yeah, you gotta be careful And also like incidental noises that aren't necessarily your fault For example, a kid's toy having batteries in it

Yeah, because that results in the death of a child very quickly Yeah, you don't want a kid's toy at all. I got a very distracted by the poor Abdul. Yeah, her clothes are awesome Yeah, it would have to be Especially people start you know more and more pick it up like wait a second I don't think this happened well see it starts the claim, but she's had 15 spinal surgeries That's a lot of surgeries. There's no record of it. That's loud.

That's loud, 15 spinal surgeries, that'll let the creatures. Yeah. I was on my first tour, my first world tour and I was at the height, height, height of outselling a lot of artists. Yeah. Then she describes a plane crash

and how she's knocked out. People say, I'm making this up. You don't know what these young reporters don't realize is that while I was on tour, there was no computer. There was no paparazzi It was tabloid reporting. Yeah, it's not documented him because I was able to have people sign NDAs I didn't want to know that I might perhaps be damaged goods But then I think it's like you actually legally can't hide Something like that for yeah, be like crying. They'd be like, oh man, oh I just crashed my car.

Everyone has to sign, we're not calling the cops. I'm just gonna pretend it didn't happen. And you're all signing NDAs. And I'm pretty sure. I know I drove it through your house. You gotta sign this NDA. You cannot tell anyone this happened. Anyway, I'm gonna go into that very high detail

after this actually. That's exciting. It's a good rabbit hole. It's a good rabbit hole. Yeah, I'm just trying to think here. So it's like, okay, yeah, there's a lot of stuff that your body makes, but then it's like, the things that you have to do, what do you have to do? So you have to drink.

Eat, sleep, shit, repeat. Yes. Yeah, bro. Damn right. More power, too, yeah. Yeah, so you have to drink, which you can drink quietly. This is how I drink quietly in the Quiet Place apocalypse. You're fucked the moment drinking comes in. No, but I drink quietly in the Quiet Place apocalypse.

You're fucked the moment drinking comes in. No, but I figured out a way around it. We come across a stream. It's got to be deep enough I can get my whole head in. I dunk myself up to my neck. And I then come to a halt. You basically start swallowing water. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm like that. You'll see just my arse bend over and then I just drown. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Wub wub wub wub! How'd you get out of here? How'd you get out of here? Morisama! It's like, you just shut the fuck up. Yeah, got it. Yeah, yeah, got it. You probably want to assume there's more people around, so we're probably safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever stood under a waterfall, opened your mouth? Drowned like a turkey would?

You know that thing where turkeys drown when it rains? Waterboard yourself? Because turkeys, I don't know if it's true, but it's the thing where it's like drown when it rains? Waterboard yourself? I don't know if it's true, but it's like when it rains, turkeys look up at the rain and open their mouths and it drowns them. That's a bit of, I guess you might call it folk wisdom that I've never questioned until now. But that's insane. It's kind of like what you said, like, biggs can't look up. I'm pretty sure biggs can look up. Apparently it's a myth. It's been a big day on Snopes for me today. The myth that

turkeys will drown if they look up during a rainstorm as well. So they do sometimes look up due to a genetic condition. They might get rain in their eyes sometimes. So water. So say we can like you know, lap it up from a stream or like water water. You make a noise after you swallow as well. You would be like, I figured this out. you've nailed this stream drinking and then you come

You like with my head out of the water Also, it would be it wouldn't even be that nice a noise because I would be drowning yeah, I put both my nose and mouth Both my nose and mouth. It's funny to imagine as well, instead of whole head, just face. How do you drink in a way that if you... Like if I gave you a can of drink, and then blocked your nose, you should be able to drink that without drowning. Yeah. Yeah, you should. But can you if you dunk your whole head...if you're underwater, can you drink? If you're underwater, can you...and you gotta say like a hot dog, and you take yes, if you're underwater Can you like and you gotta say like a hot dog and you take a bite out of it?

Could you eat like good eye? Anyone Enough to swallow that like underwater. I think I'm the water. Can you eat a hot dog? Yes, your mouth is filled with water That's why drinking is hard because my mouth fills with water. Yes, and of course, I'm not breathing at the same time It's freaking me out because my mouth fills with water. Yes. And I'm not breathing at the same time. You can fill your mouth with water and swallow.

Yes. Because your mouth has a, there is a capacity to your mouth with the water. But if my mouth is, if there's only water around me. Yeah. Okay, you're underwater, you do this. Yeah. Open your mouth and then close your mouth. You've got lips.

So that's swallow. Your mouth has no water in it. When you're underwater, you don't just have a mouth permanently full of water. It just feels like if I start to drink, I'll drown. For you, yes. Yes. Okay. Correct.

Well, yeah, I just, yeah, I don't know if you can like, I do wonder what it would be like to eat a hot dog underwater. Well, you probably could. Eating underwater would be crazy. You would have to, well, just not necessarily. Hot dog gets so hot. Would you ever eat a hot dog on the water We probably could eating on the water would be crazy

You would have to Get so would you? Mustard everywhere The first other water you go down with dog in bun mustard I like the idea of making it flawlessly and then just jumping in I like the idea of making it flawlessly and then just jumping in. Yeah! Oh, underwater snack! And then just seeing like...

I think this would feel crazier. And this is stupid that it would feel crazier. Put the hot dog in your mouth, go underwater, and then swallow? Because it's like the hot dog is like in a submarine. It's never touching the water. Even... But it's in your mouth. Well yeah, see in that scenario how your mouth isn't full of water?

But I think the moment I open my mouth water. I would drown. Yeah Like you might not he would if you yes No more. I'm misremembering. Try it blocking those and drink your coke. My coke's done My coke's done. Go get me another coke. Nah, I can't be bothered. Oh, is it all found? No, I don't! That the quiet place witches hate? Ah, fuck. My next thought was hiding in a herd of cows.

Oh yeah. That would just kill the cows. Yeah, because I was thinking I got a great source of like, you know, Beef. Oh, no, drink. Yeah, milk. Milk. Nice. Which is also like, food protein? And calcium for my bones? It makes a baby cow strong. So it makes me even stronger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You'll get milk belly and you'll be farty

Dangerous, but then the cows are also gassy, but then I guess if they are gonna go after everything Yeah, what are they eating in a quiet place? I can't remember. You probably just say you'll be cans and stuff Opening a can that's loud as hell. They're not in their waterfall, I almost said waterfall cafe, waterfall cave. Yeah. So, but then, yeah, sure, yeah. You gotta have a lot of, okay, so. How about, biscuits?

Biscuits are so loud. I mean, also you just need to pick a place where there's not, cause it happens in a quiet place too, where there's like this little base thing. Yeah. And I'll just live a normal one there because it can't get there. No, it's not quiet, It's just surrounded by water.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is also not that many of the aliens. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So, but we're in Melbourne. I don't know where a castle and a moat is. Yes. I don't know how to dig through pavement quietly to make a moat. Nor do I know how to flood my house so that there's a moat happening or that

they can't escape. Phillip Island is an island. Hey. And it's got one bridge in or out. Oh yeah, we could go there. I don't know how to destroy a bridge. Mmm, true. So, um.

Well, well, we could always, you know, put a bunch of cars on the bridge to Phillip Island. Yeah, okay. And then like honk them oh And hopefully be quiet enough that we run away. Yeah, and Set up some car alarms. Yeah, okay So the aliens come to the car alarms and hopefully there's enough to destroy the bridge In their rampage and fury well if cars blow up like they do in GTA 5

in their rampage and fury. Well, if cars blow up like they do in GTA V, then yeah. Which they often do, I can only assume. But I don't, yeah. Well, okay, so. Yeah, so Quiet Place happens, we have enough time to get, because again, we are not near a beach. No. No. We're not near, we're not close enough to water.

But say, I think, okay. How deep is the water? Because can I go to a pool? No. Fuck. They're big, remember. The bath? Oh, they're so big.

They're big. Like, it's not the signs, aliens. They're not allergic to water. That's funny, getting that confused, rushing upstairs, getting in the shower. Ugh, thank gosh. Yeah. You feel so betrayed as you die. I know.

The one thing that's meant to protect me. Is there anything in my own house that I can do this like set it off So I can be like oh, that's the sound of nature. Yeah, I saw that cat. So meow Well, okay, let's go through that you what we saying each shit drink repeat Yeah, so drinking I guess you can go and have like you know to a stream of water and they're not gonna attack a river No now eating that's gonna be our biggest down well you I think, I think you're right, mashed potato is the quietest food. How are you gonna cook mashed potato? How am I quiet? Well digging up a potato isn't loud. Yeah, but I gotta grow potato. Yeah. But say you can go to a potato farm.

Yeah. Say we're on like the boat farm or whatever, you can make a farm on a boat or whatever, we got some potato seeds? Yeah. Yeah. Well I'm imagining that we're not on the boat, boat right just I'm trying to do like we're struggling to survive Yeah, we find a potato farm. Yeah, you can dig up potatoes quietly. Yeah Mm-hmm. Now you got the potatoes you can chop a potato quietly too. You could probably boil a potato club Water boiling is probably the loudest of those activities, but it's not crazy hands. How about how what don't boil a kettle? Hands how how what don't boil a kettle? Swine I'm just ready before it goes off What are you doing to make the like the the heat source because if you're doing say like a like a gas stove It's always like yeah

But I know again or if it's like a we have to have a canister Yeah, gas canister you can then turn on to then hopefully go into like yeah something that well It's kind of tricky to know exactly how loud because a lot of these activities you might be able to get away with Because like for example in a quiet place them walking on a sand trail is quiet enough not to okay But regular footsteps are too loud What if we were at the beach? Okay? Okay? Okay? We what about we just go to the beach? Uh-huh, don't have to go in the ocean. Yeah.

We just go in the beach, right? Mm. Crashing of like the waves, that's gonna be cover for a lot of things. That's true. That will, that will, yeah, yeah. There's sand there which we can walk on. Yeah. If we need to like, you know, yell at our existence, like the ostriches of old, bury our head in the sand and have a scream.

That's smart. Just because, you know, I think that would help us. And if the aliens are coming, we're just gonna run into the sea. Yeah. We're splashing. Well yeah, but they can't get in the sea. Yeah, but they can get in the sea. I thought they could not get in the sea.

They can get into the sea until it gets enough that it will be over their head and then they drown. Okay, well, do you reckon you swim faster than the alien world? No. Okay, never mind cuz they're running damn. Yeah Yeah, yeah. Okay. It's kind of like you faster than a hippo. No Absolutely, like hippo they tend to because like the reason they're so fast is they like they kind of run on the yeah Graham yeah bed, right? Concept right their legs are we drunk? Yeah, we're we're on the beach as well You eat as many crabs as you like exactly this field because yeah you gotta be

constantly like vigilant and then maybe have them in your rock pile yeah yeah and then just like if you can you see them easily enough that you can just like that they are yeah rock throw it in the ocean make a splash okay what's that they see it's water maybe that was I don't know I see go dropping a crab yeah yeah nevermind and then they show off and then like do they if they think Towards that they see its water. Maybe that was I don't know a seagull dropping a crab. Yeah Yeah, nevermind and then they shrift off and then like do they if they think that there's living beings will they search for them? Apparently they do not kill for food. They're just killing for the fun. They're killing because they hate the sound. They need a quieter space It must be so loud underwater. Yeah

That's why it kills them, it doesn't drown them, it's just loud. It's just too noisy. Is it loud underwater? Why do you think it's loud underwater? Because water is an amplifier. Yeah. Hmm. Whales?

Is it? Yeah. Whales are loud? So if they go underwater and we're splashing up top, they're like, ah, it's so loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if we went the opposite way? Okay, go so, so loud. So loud they don't even want to be near us.

They hate it. We just walk around with air horns. Baa, baa, baa, baa. Yeah, good. So loud they don't even want to be near us. They hate it. We just walk around with air horns. Baa baa baa baa Yeah, constantly. Yeah, what if we do that? That probably will work because a hearing aid amplified by a speaker PA Yeah, hated it. Killed the first one. Oh, that's true. So just maybe playing it? Nah, just opened it up and then they shot it with a punch in the face. Nooooo.

Yeah, well I mean you can try. You can try that, but I'd go for the ear hole. Yeah, and it was a gun, a shotgun. Okay. Mmm, fair enough. But yeah, no, it doesn't kill them. But it has been shown in the series if the loud sound is loud enough and piercing enough, it apparently incapacitates them forever.

So they're just like, done. Dog whistles? Yeah, I was enough that apparently incapacitates them for I've on so they're just Dog whistles yeah, I was like dog whistles. Yeah. Yeah like yeah, what's the loudest thing you can think of? Everyone on earth just needs to turn on like plug all the speakers into synchronize up with his one loud noise Yeah, maybe an episode of plumbing the death star That's true It's gonna be an episode of Plumbing the Death Star. That's true. It's very embarrassing. They get back on the asteroid and fly away. We're walking around playing Plumbing the Death Star

as loud as we can. We meet other survivors. They're like, what is that? We're like, a podcast. The world agreed that it was the most annoying and shrill sound. So we picked that to scare them away. You didn't pick anything else?

Well, we didn't actually pick. We were told. The government called us and they said, hey, this is the first and only time your podcast has ever been good or useful. Oh, okay. Yeah, Mr. President of Earth. Yeah, Mr. President of Earth, JFK Jr. back from the dead.

His plane just got lost. JFK Sr. Who was pretending to be Jr. JFK Jr. never existed. Because he's killed your own baby with a gun on his head. Yeah, yeah. He sold out. Yeah. Yeah. Sold out. Yeah.

Harvey Hosmer. Yeah. He was an innocent man. Yes. Or a baby killer. Who's, who killed Lincoln? Who killed Lincoln? Oh, it was Hamley Hosmer.

No. No. The actor. Who killed Lincoln? John Wilkes Booth. John Wilkes Booth. Got him in the theater, dude. Yeah.

Funny. Funny move. John Wilkes Booth got him inkes Booth. Got him in the theater, dude. Yeah. Funny. Funny move. John Wilkes Booth got him in the theater. Sounds like a Cluedo guess. Got him in the theater while his brother was performing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Almost. I thought he was the performer. It's like killing Chris Hemsworth while another Hemsworth's in a movie he's watching. No, wait. If Chris Hemsworth was the president. No, it was Booth's brother. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. It's a, yeah.'s what I mean. It's like Chris Hemsworth killing... Biden.

Hold on. While Liam has... He's watching... Hunger Games? And Chris Hemsworth kills Vini Vini Vici or whatever he said. Venim Vini Michi.

What did he say? Veni vini vici. Did he say? Death to tyrants I think. But in Latin. Well no, what I said was They came to the conch. Which is still a good one to say. Six sempityrannus is what he said.

And everyone said what? Bang! I can't explain it. I have places to be I think you went bang Six-hundreds ever tell us you're gonna set it off to it Yeah, cuz he bang death then didn't he jump off the balcony to say like six-hundred Okay, well, they're just like that broke his legs broke his like ankle or broke something like ah shit I am a little popping that out stop I'm hoping that I'd stop it. Are you sure?

I thought he jumped and then he was trying to make a cool political statement and everyone was just like, you need to help. I hope so but I really... And the people that caught him and the guy that caught him, he unicked himself. Yes, that is true. Oh, the guy that caught him definitely went bananas. Yeah, he lost his mind. Yes, that is all the guy that caught him definitely went like we're on Yeah, I know like hey catch him and arrest him but then he was like I killed the president so I'm gonna kill him Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did that and then he then afterwards

Operated on himself to get out Yes, but he did it by like cutting his gooch holding his genitals and doing a squat did jumping up and down Yeah, which is awesome. That's really like that other guy like that other guy did the same thing. I Fear plumbing the death star bits of bled their way into her memory as real events I believe what you're getting confused with is a plumbing the death star episode cannot recall what it was on which old douche Oh was an it must be the Animorph episode, Duescher Animorphed himself to be Abraham Lincoln, and then we said there were two Lincolns. Once again I must ask what's the bit, but yeah. I'm pretty sure he jumped off the stage and it wasn't like that high of a jump,

it was high enough that he did injure himself. Yeah, okay into something So he's cool like you know yelled. Yeah, it kind of lost some of its emphasis Also, I think cuz it was like a gunshot just went off Yeah, everyone was like, you know what the hell you run around didn't really hear her and then there was He's saying bro. I think his brother also then went off and did something like, you know a performance and did something like a performance. Is it against? I don't know. I just-

Okay, so he said, he jumped from the president's box to the stage. Oh my God, you're right. Where he raised the knife and he shouted, six semper tyranus, which it doesn't mean death to tyrants thus always to tyrants, which apparently Brutus said at Caesar's assassination, which is also the state motto of Virginia.

Okay. Well, they changed it after or like adopted because? I don't know. According to some accounts, Booth added, I have done it. The South's avenged. Some witnesses reported that Booth- It should be some Confederate sentiment here.

So yeah, cause he did it because after the speech where Lincoln was like hey slavery Slavery? Yeah, no more of that. I was like actually that's probably a good idea and Booth's like that's a lot of goddamn speeches I'm gonna make which was true. Yeah, but yeah some witnesses report that Booth That Booth? That Booth fractured or otherwise injured his leg when his spur snagged decorative US Treasury Guard flag was leaving to the stage. That's so funny. It's not even like he fell. It's like when he was jumping, he tripped. He tripped?

He got his leg caught. He tripped? He got his foot caught in a goddamn flag. And he tripped. It's not even that he tripped so badly he hurt himself. Like he damn it. Not even hurt Fractured. Oh my God. Fractured his left ankle. Whoa, my God.

Luke's actually secretly JFK Jr. Whoa! Okay, but other witnesses are like, no, he hurried off the stage in a way that it was very unlikely that his leg was broken. Well, that's a drama. that his leg was broken. Well that's adrenaline. But a historian contends that Booth was injured later that night during his flights to escape when his horse tripped and fell on him, calling Booth's claim to the contrary as an exaggeration

to portray his own actions is heroic I Do you think saying okay? So he lied about that he was like I didn't trip over I was actually cool. Yeah, my horse did it my horse fell on me, dude. That's just as embarrassing No, the horse boy. I think he claimed he got injured when he jumped after killing him Like I think he claimed that he hurt himself landing on the stage. Yeah, okay, but people like no, I think I think he claimed that he heard himself landing on the stage. Yeah, okay. But people are like, no, I think you wrote your horse fell on you. Because he was like, it's more embarrassing if my horse fell on me.

What? I've been thinking about saying six empytyranus before you kill Lincoln, verse after. Well, you say it before, you get Lincoln to be like, what? Yeah. But I feel like six empytyranus, he's saying, thus always to tyrants. It's like a badass line You gotta shoot. But yeah, if you say it beforehand, it's a bit embarr- It's like you've been thinking about it the whole way up there. You say it beforehand, yeah No, you say it after it doesn't make sense before thus always to tyrants. Yeah, cause you say thus always to tyrants This happens to tyrants. This happens to tyrants and then he gets shut that makes sense. Imagine right you say

You know thus always to tyrants and then you gets shut that makes sense imagine right you say you know that's always the tyrants and then you miss well Yes, obviously Yeah This way you're at least you know you can guarantee yeah, but imagine I think it's more about so he jumped onto the stage to say he didn't say it's a link and he announced it to the But that's what I mean. That's it makes it. It's like he shoots Lincoln. Yeah falls off the stage falls onto the stage Clamp is up. That's always the tyrants and everyone's like what and then he's out of there He went to I think he should have done it before

Or at least to kind of I don't know movies head slightly Yeah, something's like what and then he's like, ah shit and it's like I got a one bullet like that was the one they use Yeah, I think I was just a one bullet. I just got one bullet. I think it's worth the risk. I think it's much cooler to say it beforehand. It's, no, it sucks. Cause it's not, it wasn't too Lincoln. It was to the crowd. Being like, this is what happens, bitch.

Yeah, I suppose. Not, yeah, cause also- Did Brutus say it to Caesar, or did Brutus say it after Caesar died? Now I might be more on Jack's side, unfortunately. It's a cool line. It is a cool line. Not always to tire it.

Pfft. Yeah, but you have to have a guarantees, but you have a guarantee thus always be not even saying it afterwards So listen, okay Thus always to tyrants, but also you're gonna remember we just think it's funny to hear He's heard his leg with historians like he was probably fine even Onto the stage thus always pull out his knife as well. So he's waving a knife. He didn't even kill him with a knife It's more like it like a symbology. I think he whiffed it personally If he'd said it beforehand people would have been more on his side I think if he'd said it beforehand he probably wouldn't have got the shot. Well, that's the risk

more on his side. I think if he'd set it beforehand he probably wouldn't have got the shot. Well that's the risk. You know it's like if you're gonna commit a crime don't announce it. Yeah. But he was there for the theatre of it anyway you know. I mean I'm also pretty sure he was also there to assassinate a president. No I mean the theatre of the assassination you know he was trying to be dramatic. He was. And it's pretty dramatic to say it before you kill Lincoln Lincoln Did you know that I think it was like a day or maybe even just that day is like it when Lincoln was like we Should probably get like a secret service That's so funny like maybe instigated. Yeah. Oh Lincoln just a little too late So sick temper see a simple tyranus is attributed to being uttered by Brutus after he

is attributed to being uttered by Brutus after he assassinated Julius Caesar. Oh, Brutus whistled too. What? So what, so it's like, et tu Brutus, get stabbed, then Brutus is like, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. But then the utterance itself is recorded in no ancient sources and appears to be a modern invention. So we just, some guy sat around and was like,

fuck, would have been awesome if Brutus said this. What a political of Brutus said, dude. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, would it have been awesome if Brutus said this? What would it have been called if Brutus said this? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Imagine, dude. Imagine. A man of the room would have, we would never have got that quote.

What else would he say, dude? I don't know. What else would be awesome? Well, yeah, a really good quote. What if he had said, like, you know, take that Caesar. Yeah. Or like, this is what you get.

More like, yeah. Or like, Manducare meu mano. Yeah, that. What what you know, like yeah, well like Yeah, that's I mean eat my anus Do you think that John Wilkes Booth It could have done okay, so what do you reckon we would survive in a quiet place Yeah, eat shit. Oh, yeah, nice. I think a cool things to say Shit Six ever tight right? It's like you get across your yeah Compared to mendicare steric or because he's telling him to eat shit. I think I'll see that again

Get a sticker Monday care of sterko. Eat shit. Yeah. What's a what's a famous action movie? Is it You're Fired when Arnie shoots the guy off a missile? Oh, yeah. He says consider this a divorce when he shoots his wife in Total Recall. Okay. He also says. He's saying that to Lincoln, but what?

Consider this a divorce! Well, bang! What? See you at the party, Richter. He also says in Total Recall, why can I only remember lines from Total Recall? I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, what else do people say? Like, tears in the rain. Yeah, but that seemed dying. Remember when I said I wouldn't kill you, I lied? No, remember when I said I'd kill you last Oh, yeah, I lied. Yeah, go fuck yourself. He says that when the two clones were on top of each other Why can I remember from the sixth day? What disease do we have?

I'll be back. That's Arnold again. But that's also not He's jumping in a lava pit. Yeah. I don't know. Would we survive? Our plan? I think if we can get to a boat. I think we could survive a little.

Yeah. We could give ourselves another couple years. Two? How many years? One year? Less than a year? Twenty to thirty minutes. If we can figure out desalination,

maybe we got some time. But I think maybe we got like a good week. Yeah. Cause the problem with desalination is I have no idea. But I know that your method's wrong, but I'd let you try. And then you would start when it wouldn't work immediately. You'd be like, hmm.

And I'd be like, I'm gonna kill you. You've doomed us all. And then an anchor in the back he'd be like, hmm. And I'd be like, I'm gonna kill you. You killed, you've doomed us all. And then an anchor in the back there. If we were around like- We're gonna use him as shark bait and then make flake. Oh yum. You're dead. No, I'm a little bit alive still.

I'm dangling off the boat. Oh yum, dude, shark. Flake, can you feed me some to prolong my life? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little bit minutes longer. Of course, dude, of course. Six simple thyrinus, I just cut you into the sea. Shock flakey feed me something to prolong my life Like you said it before or... Stero-co- Manticle! God! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH Then I'm told to shreds by sharks. Yeah.

So I think if we could, yeah. So if we're at deco-salination, you're right. I guess we could survive off fish and try to eat our bird friends. Yeah. But our problem there of course is always how quickly do we devolve into cannibalism. Mm-hmm. And I feel we have to team up against Jack pretty quick. Yes turn very I think that Oh, you just need to say we need to learn how to sail but maybe we can figure it out but sail to

Islands and shit. Yeah to try and find one that the aliens not on. Yeah. Yeah Yes, it's islands down. Yeah, like if you're trying to hit like Hit it Gilligan's Island style. Yeah, like if you're trying to hit it Gilligan's Island style is better than boat style. That's true. How hard is it to get to a Gilligan Island style island from Melbourne? Well, would there be, like, do you reckon that one of the, because the aliens are on a ship or whatever.

First of all, they might only be in America. We don't know. That's true. I'm just like, oh, yeah, this is how we, in Australia, we just kick it normal style. Yeah, dude. I was like we are in a boat Yeah, we are like say you don't want to go down because Bass Strait will fuck us up We are in a boat now with there's no maybe we've gotten it We've got far enough to see because aliens are coming in whatever we've got far enough that we kind of don't see any like landmasses

We're gonna do the Jfk junior boat trick We know not to go south. Yeah Do we know what is south when you're in the sea? Well, I guess we have a phone which has a compass Yeah, I mean our phone would die eventually pretty soon But for at least a little bit would know we're sailing south. Okay, so we don't go south. Yeah, where do we go? Go north Okay, we got one chill okay, okay, do we go east or west yeah You wouldn't want to go west cuz it's gonna go into the great history and bite. Yeah, that's bad

I would say so you want to go you want to go good in New Zealand? No, the southern islands maybe? Don't you want to go like a real north? Yeah, why do we have to go up the entire coast of Australia? Just like looking from the boat but close enough to the land where like hmm yeah we can see the alien That doesn't look good They're still there Just like following up

That doesn't look good That's bad news I think this one alien just hates us I know they're meant to be fast but he's going slow just so we can see him. And they can't see, but they can hear, so we must make really bad noises. We must be really loud. And then I guess we get far enough off the coast that we're close to the Solomon Islands or where it gets to the Southeast Asia P&G.

But then, once you leave, there will be a moment between Australia and any other landmass where we see nothing And I don't think a compass will help us then No, we don't have to use it We'll be like don't turn around Or hey have we turned around? Maybe because that happened we have to sleep What could have been turned around in the night? I love the world where we didn't take a watch

Yeah All three of us got to sleep Yeah I love the world where we didn't take a watch Navigate by star Why do we need to take watch? What's it? Well what so that we don't turn around? I thought you meant a wristwatch We're dead like that Watch We're dead like that

Probably the non-star does not survive 15 minutes we trip over getting on the boat It's not bad to have a watch I Guess we could have I thought then we use a little little like the little analog thing so we could like maybe make a magnetic north Scoop it of water magnetic lots more important than magnetic south though. Well, it's my yourself magnetic I'm getting confused cuz I'm pretty sure there's a band called magnetic south and that's like a reference cuz they're like that's There's magnetic fields

Cuz the points are not this kind of argument is what kills us Because there is a magnetic north, so I guess you could... By, by, uh, yeah, it's like, you know, if... It feels logical. As a ball, as ball. There needs to be a Magnetic South. Exactly. There is a band on Spotify called the Magnetic South who I definitely have never listened to, and no one appears to have listened to them because they've got zero listens.

Okay. I've never seen that before. That's crazy. They have an album called Sea Level. They are about to have more, at least one more listen. Yeah, 10 to 15 minutes and Plummi the Death Star is gone. We cannot survive. Oh well, we had a good run.

Yeah, exactly. 10, 15 minutes is more than we deserve. Otherwise, it'll get to the point where we get thirsty the first time and then we all consume so much sea water we die straight away. Bloated and dehydrated I'm so thirsty, pass me that ladle of seawater Yeah I keep drinking it but I've never hydrated for some reason

Which is crazy because Jackson promised me he knows how to do desalinization I've been lying here under the sun this whole time and all I am is cooking Yeah I don't think I'm getting enough sun. Strap me to the front of the boat. What do they say, right? I got a real bad headache. Strap me to the front of the boat and just ram me in the rocks. Yeah, the sun will dry me out. I'm gonna chew on my arm.

Yeah, smart dude, smart. Well, yeah. Hey, that's how we go baby. Yeah. And on that note, I've been Jackson. I've been Joe. And I've also been Joe it's better to die heroically than live cowardly that's that's that's a takeaway that's a lesson yeah this episode yeah if anything you're a six impotent serenis yeah yeah

you know it off before though. Yeah, yeah. Say it after. Bwuk, bwuk.