Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Survive Getting Hunted For Sport?

Episode Date: June 7, 2026

The Joels get confused about why they're here but at least they're excited to be on what they perceive to be a film set. Knowing that taking out the first billionaire is integral to their survival doesn't help when they know nothing about basic survival or how to use any weapon of any kind. Jackson can't stop using pinecones and eating spiders, Zammit is uncomfortably too comfortable in taking out the butler and JD just has the best time with the help. It's a dinner for schmucks as two schmucks are hunted for sport and it's clearly a test for the third. Surely we all can't be schmucks. Surely.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy, pop culture. I almost said Riff. I meant podcast. You're so distracted by the excellent Reels exclusive riff for this episode. Go to At Plumbing Pod on Instagram. You can watch it yourself. Wow. Yeah, every week there's one and the quality. It's getting hard. It only gets better and better, people. It only gets better and better.

Well, on this comedy pop culture podcast, we asked the important, questions like, and look, here I am talking down on your Reels exclusive rip, right before I ask, how would you survive getting hunted for sport? So we all are aware of the most dangerous game, yeah, i.e. hunting humanity. Which, to be fair, I feel like there are more dangerous games. Wrong. You think that if you're going to hunt something for sport, the thing that is the most dangerous is man. Yes. Not like a tiger? No. Not like a mandrel?

No. What about some sort of baboon with a gun? None. Yeah. What about a baboon you set on fire? Yeah. I've already won. Yeah, but you've got a tentative frighten. Yeah.

A baboon you've set on fire, but you're in a two, like, two meter by two meter room. I will say the only thing I can think of that is immediately worse than hunting a man for sport. And this is the big caveat is maybe the cocaine there. Okay. Yeah, fair enough. Really good. Gentlemen, welcome to my matter. Where tonight we will be hunting the most dangerous game.

Man, no. And then you open a door to a bear. just doing a line. Get running. I've misunderstood more hunting. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's why. Because a human being, if a human being knows it's being hunted, it can hunt

back. Yeah, that's a good point. A tiger doesn't know jack's shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I guess... It sees a gun and it goes, huh? Buh? Bang! In the head. Yeah. The tiger's all famously easy to hunt. Yeah, I mean, like, we don't have to

ban hunting of endangered animals because they're hard to kill. We're not doing it because we're like, wow, we've been... It's too exhausting for the poachers. It's making the poachers look stooped. It's embarrassing. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I guess fair. Well, because a man, you're right, and this is you do. This is why

they say it's... I mean, we're about to... I'm sure this will come up in the episode. Yeah. You're about to hear. This is the intro. Yes. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, because like, if you're being hunted... Yeah. You can... I mean, like, yeah, you can hide... Unless you don't know you're being hunting. If you don't know you're being hunted... If you're a guy, that's awesome.

Then I'm like the tiger. Buh. Bang right in the back of that. I love the idea of you not knowing you're being hunted because like the way most of those. The world's greatest sport. Okay. We're doing like basketball, volleyball, beach volleyball? It's hard to do out here in the woods, but.

All right. Wood volleyball, man. You're sitting there. I'm sitting there cross-legged just waiting. The guy fires off the starter gun. Every other human runs. When's the game going to start? I don't even want to shoot this guy because he doesn't.

There's something about the most excellent sports. I'm expecting nude volleyball. Neither of these guys is moved. No one's nude. Getting by mistake. I'm just going to take out a cock, I guess. What are they doing? I'm going to shoot this guy in the balls.

Nudging you with my gun. Get running. Get running. Stop taking your pants off. Put your cock back in your pants and get running. I didn't bring the ball. You don't need a ball. Did no one explain?

What? Is this just a porn art? No. That's, you? It's just nude wink wink wink, volleyball? You've decided it's nude volleyball. Yeah, whom's not

fucking. You're not no, you're not fucking each other. This is not pornography. We are hunting you for sport. Okay, okay. I've never been on a pornography shoot before. I was kind of waiting for someone to say action. Do you see a camera?

Sorry, can we just take, can I say that? Can you say what? Yeah. We didn't just say it. We're not filming. Oh, so we haven't started yet? No. Put your cocks back in your pants.

I got a lot of questions. Where'd the others go? They run and the other guys with guns, they've also gone. Are we fucking? Is this some sort of like... No? No one's fucking. But I need you to run because killing you as you sit here with your cocks out will not feel dignified.

Even for me. Gotcha. We'll start running. You didn't say action, though. Action? Isn't this part of the... You should start making it out? No.

God damn it. I'm sorry, this is my first time on pornoes. Killing you both and like mounting your heads and everybody else has got like their prey all the other millionaires. They're like, how was yours? I'm like, yeah, really hard. Head, head, cock.

You mounted their cock. You got to understand. When I was hunting them, their cocks were really prominent. It was a big part of what I did. Honestly, there was more to hunting them about their cocks and the actual hunting. Shooting one of you in the leg, you're like, what the hell? Oh! Why'd you do that? Special effects are so real now. Can you not feel the point in you? No, it hurts. Wow, those blanks are impressive. That hurt. Yeah, I shot you. I guess accidents happened.

Aragon famously broke his toe or whatever. I know this one. Yeah, he kicked his, yeah, he kicked his toe on the helmet. You know that one? And Tom Cruise broke his ankle and I got shot. Yeah. Bang! Wow, I got shot too. Well, this is like the crow but twice and we're both still alive. Oh, that's smart.

I think mine are darts. I don't know where we picked them up. I got a whole Jeep full of weapons and nets. I was going to hunt them with it. They just keep getting shot. and kissing. Maybe fucking let them go. It would not feel right to kill these guys.

It's not dangerous. I can tell you that. You two on the bus going home? What the fuck was that? I wonder who's going to pay. Hey, our first day on porters was interesting. They're going to turn up tomorrow. Are we the hunters tomorrow? Yeah.

So they did get it a bit. No, like, are we playing the hires? No one's playing on to leave my property. Yeah, I didn't bring, I only got a Super Soka, I don't have like a prop gun. I thought I could use one of your prop gun. Yeah, do you have like,

where's the special effects guy? This feels like, I'm gonna get shot. Oh, here's your armory, okay. Oh, let me test out one of these blags. Back of that, onto the ground. We just have your ass mounted on the wall. He's not getting up. Wake up, dude. We got to film this

form. Or is this part of it? Is this one of that meta pornos? Is this like the Truman Show, but porn? Pulled out his pants. Is this the Polar Truman Show? Just lying in the middle of an elaborate fancy lounge room with my pants down, ass out.

You're filming it with a camera. I wish I had some fucking instructions. I'm going to go try and find the director. Cut. Wake up. Or just keep lying They're lazy bones Method actor, I get it

Fair enough A professional Well, We can't go wrong I guess Yeah Sir I think that that really

sure is that Why man could actually In fact be the most dangerous game That's true The most annoying games Yeah Yeah But if you've got a person

That you're hunting That is like I don't want to die And I just realize They're not on this head Of a porno Because immediately if you're, okay, let's say it's a traditional setup of this, like you're being kidnapped

flown to some fucking island. Yeah. You're in a forest or something shit. You know you're being hunted for sport. It's midnight. They say we're going to give you a 20 minute head start and then me and the other millionaires are going to hunt you down for sport. You are our game today.

Okay. Especially if there's not, because if you say, hey, you've got to survive until daybreak or whatever, that's a bit different. But if you say, we're just going to hunt you full stop. Yeah, true. Then the chance of the hunter being attacked, I would say, goes up. Oh, absolutely. Because if you say, hey, you've got to survive to daybreak and...

They're not going to kill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they might harm. They're not going to kill. That's where you go, I'm going to bury myself on the ground or whatever and wait out the night in a log or something. Oh, exactly. This is like, sure, I can hide, but then I know that they're going to stop. So this, I need to somehow kill them.

I would say, though, that if you're ever in a most dangerous game situation, this is a hot plumbing tip. If they say we're going to hunt you until day, break, don't reveal yourself at daybreak. That's a trap. Yeah. You go, gentlemen, where's my million dollars?

They go, we lost, but you're still going to be killed. Yeah. Oh, what the fuck? I thought this was a fair hunting man for sport. Dead. Yeah. So what do you reckon then the strategy

is get as far, get away? Or is the strategy kill the guys? It would be kill the guys. Yeah. Is they not going to stop? Yeah, that's the only way to get away,

which is why a human being is the most dangerous game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. because as you're hunting them, they're hunting you. Yeah, I think that my strategy would be pits. Oh, the pit man. Okay, digging a pit with your hands.

Fuck. Step two. Hope they fall in. Well, I guess, what's the, are we in the jungle? Are we in an island? To my mind, to my mind, a mansion. The classic hunting for sport. It's woods at night.

Yeah, woods at night. It's a big mansion on a hill. You've been invited because you think you've been invited He's like a fancy dinner. Okay. Dinner for schmucks. It's a dinner. It's a dinner for smocks.

It's a dinner for schmucks first. Crown King Schmuck of the evening. What the fuck? You get a five minute head start. Well, that's a silver lining to being the biggest schmuck. Honestly, okay. I know I said pits, but I think that now with the classic mansion on a hill,

Woods nighttime thing, I'm going to try and sneak back into the house. That is smart, I reckon. There's a lot of things that can be used as a weapon in a house. Also, you can home alone it. Yeah, that you can fill it full of traps. You can hide in the cupboard. And then when they go, well, I didn't get everybody, you leap out of the cupboard and strangle them to death.

Slit their marriage. Yes. Yeah, I think if there is a match, because, again, just the woods and nothing else, that's going to be exceptionally hard. Yeah. Yeah, because sticks don't really beat guns very often. No, that is true. And I don't know much about surviving outdoors in the best of time. Especially if they got a dog.

Oh, they'll have dogs. And they will have dogs. I go, I'm going to cover my scent and I pierce my son. And they go, oh no, fuck, I've made my scent stronger. Shoot myself? I need to cover myself in dog shit. Oh, that's a good idea, dude. That is smart.

Yeah, it depends what's like on the island. Because again, yeah, there's just not enough time to like, yeah, build a trap or bigger, bigger hole. Okay, if there's dogs, I don't know if this would help, but if it's an island and there's dogs, If you can somehow get to the sea, true. Make yourself covered in sea salt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then also what else would smell like?

Now I'm wet and it's cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I die of hypothermia. Fuck! Where's the, oh, yeah, he's dead. It's like, I'm wet, it's cold, it's nighttime, I'm in the ocean, there's nothing to hide behind. Like, it's shot in the head.

Yeah. How humiliating to be like, I'll get in the ocean and that I'll cover my scent, and then it just cuts the daybreak and they find your corpse washed up on a beach. He fucked it up somehow. He just walked up and shoot him. And then they go, I guess I got him.

I guess I'll mount his head. He's pretty bloated from being in the water all day. He just swall. Did he slip off? What happened? For God he couldn't swim. Yeah. Going to the beach is good to, like, you know, fill up on pocket sand.

Okay. Pockets sand? Yeah. Well, it depends on the kill. If they're going for, like, a sniper, I'm fucked. Yeah, it won't be a sniper because it's a woods. But it could be a, it will be a gun. Like a gun, I'm fucked.

But if I want to, like, it would be, like, it would be a sniper. like do go in for the kill with a knife, maybe the one up close and personal? Yeah. They're like pocket sand them. Beach sand. Yeah. Eat crabs, bitch. I like the idea that, because it's wet, you go to throw it and it just clumps or does it go in their eyes.

They just go, oh. I like the idea of doing it. And for some reason, my pants are so fragile that they dare off when I bring my hands out of my pockets. I'm humiliated. Please kill me. I'll get some of the sand that is it has wet. Yeah, of course. So pocket sand is a useful thing to have.

Because you're right. You're going to need every advantage against these millionaires. Fill your pockets with pine cones. Because you get something. It's better than nothing. I'm like, pine cones, what? To throw at them? Somebody's got a gun out.

If you're quick enough and you throw the pine cone, you might distract them for long enough that you could run away or try and disarm them. I mean... Okay, okay. What about a rock? Like, a heavier rock. What do you think being hit with a pine cone feels like?

It's not going to knock them out. No. But they're going to be like, what the fuck? And then when they look up, I think if I had a gun aimed at someone, like a handgun. Yeah. First of all, seven bullets. Yeah. So second of all, they hit me with a pine cone.

At worst, I'm like, it will move my aim slightly. Yeah. That might be all the advantage I need, dude, to bang. No, then you get shot in the back. Yeah, yeah. Climbing a tree seems like a good move. Yeah, getting up high. Getting up high is a good move.

But climbing a tree, it's something that fucking every, we all think about as kids. Yeah. Hard to do. Yeah. The older you get, the harder. Not even. It's just like trees are just fucking, they're not, they're not ladders. They're trees.

Especially if it's in the, like, I'm imagining this in the Pacific Northwest where it's like big pine trees that don't have like branches for like a long time. Also, you also need to be able to climb it in a way that it doesn't leave like marks. So they can't be like, oh, this fuck is up a tree moving. Exactly. And then they just wait down the bottom. You can't last up there forever. Watch me.

Then they go, oh, oh, fuck. Sorry, I forgot. This also works, and they just shoot up. Always get an axe. Start cutting it down. Oh, that's bad, dude. Clutch to the top of a tree as it gets chopped down beneath you. I think if I did that, I would try and jump from one tree.

Me too. I'd be like, I could make it. Yeah, that's how we'd become dead. Well, it can die either way. So you're not going to go. I would prefer to die by my own hand accidentally whilst trying to survive than give them the satisfaction. Maybe I fall on them. Yeah, exactly.

Maybe you'd crush one of them. beneath you. It is awesome. Actually, yeah, if they're trying to cut down the tree, fuck it. I'm jumping from the tree onto them. Smart. And then you kill one of them and they'll go back. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Yeah, exactly. Also, like, let's say somehow

I've gotten like 15 feet up a tree. Jumping from that height onto a guy, yeah, might kill him. Gonna hurt me too. Fuck God, but you're gonna get off. Oh, my fucking knees. Both kneecaps popped, leg bone, into. But if it's just the one guy, I've got broken legs and a weapon. That's true.

Then you can climb back up the tree and start, well, maybe not. You can crawl into a hole. Crawl up against the tree and wait. Hope they come. A direction I'm facing. Yeah. And hope that the gun still has bullets. I don't know how to check.

No. I don't know either. Fire one off. Well, at least it had one. So we'll probably have more. Oh, okay, climb on the tree, pray that one guy comes to cut down the tree, jump on the guy, break your legs, kill or at least hurt the guy enough that he drops his weapon. Yeah, kill him. We'll get the weapon, kill him.

Yeah. Unless he's already dead. Probably one in the brain just in case. Probably a safe move. So then you figure out how the gun works. Yeah, true. You practice it. But then that gunshot, that's going to draw people over.

Oh, good point. They just think, oh, they got him. Yeah. Yeah. But they'd come to investigate. Maybe. You shoot and go, ah, in your own voice.

Oh, no. Oh, Joel Dussel's been shot and I'm dying. Now I'm dead. Oh, the game's over. Well, it depends now, because, like, what do they have to communicate? Do they have a phone? Do they have a walkie talk? Probably they have walkie talkies.

Oh, whoa, whoa, ho. Now I have broken legs. That's the whole thing. Exactly. Through the adrenaline and the broken legs and being like, eh, and they're crying. I'll try to investigate this guy. There's somebody else on the channel.

It's too real. This hurts so bad. Can I get the set medic, please? This porno's got better than the first day on poros. God damn it, they're back. Did you guys invite them? No. They were part of the initial quarry for this.

God damn it. Yeah, but I love as well that it's funny jumping out of a tree. And like you hope the guy doesn't realize you're doing that. Because him chopping and they're just hearing behind the fog. He's just like, shoving the tree, just turns and just swings his axe to him. Yeah. What about burying yourself? Well, the problem here is, sure, you might survive for a bit, but they're going to keep hunting you.

But if I find the bog, say, okay, and I get under the water. Yeah. And I lie down. Under the water. Yeah. I get up to breathe. I don't go, got them. Like a classic cartoon with a rome.

with a reed. Yeah, exactly. One of those bloated bog corpses. Yeah. It seems like you did this one on purpose. And they again go, I guess I got him in this fire wash

off you and you burst. Yeah. But yeah, if I get a reed or something and I just look under the water breathing through the reed and I just, the whole night, I just wait out in the bog. It's very fine.

Like a, except sort of like, I don't know, a fly or a bird just lands on the top of the reed. Oh, fuck. Please don't attack me. I just like that here. It's just crawling down the reed. A big spider movie.

Yeah. It's like it's blocking your air. Yeah, yeah. As you're bringing a big of it, you just suck the spider off into your throat. I've eaten so many spiders down here. Or it rains. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I'm drowning again. How's this even makes sense? I love the idea of all of like a spider giving a top and I'm like, and I like said it flying in the air and the guy's hunting. I'm like, wait. Spire on the park. There's a guy in the boat.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Do we snow? It's funny to say, I survive, but I ate 40 spiders. They just kept going. I don't know why. It's just like, I was warm. Yeah, so hot breath coming out of this. Keep going in.

I'm so full of a lot of spiders. I've survived, but it won't cost. They do finally kill me, shoot me in the back of the head, I die, open my mouth. What does a swarm of spiders? Guys, time out. This one's full of spiders. What does that mean?

I don't know. Did we kill a d-me? It's good he's dead, I guess. Burn his body. Are we heroes? Yeah. Is this for the best? Check if the others are full of spiders too.

No. No, just this one. I thought we might have got a bad batch. It's just this guy. I guess just one bad one. One bad one full of spiders. I don't know. I mean, I know in movies and cartoons and stuff

of there breathing through a reed works, but I don't know. I don't think you... I think there's like a limit to how long... I remember reading about this. It's like the length of the read is what determines whether it's viable or not. Yeah.

There's like a thing where you... If it's too long, you're inhaling your... the carbon dioxide out of your exhale so you will suffocate. You have to be really close to the surface. Yeah, I'd have to be close to it. It's so funny to imagine lying there and I'm like, I'm safe

but my like belly's poking out. I'm in the clear. It's a funny looking. People just think I'm a bog island. Does your belly getting full of bullets? If I don't flick the water. My belly full of bullets and then spiders

crawling out. Oh no My spiders I'm having a bad day A bad day to be Jackson Full of spiders And bullets Okay so maybe the bog's not a good place to go

It's a good place to start I feel but like I don't know Because the problem there is you're so shut off Yeah exactly I can't hear anything You can't see anything Can't smell anything I will find out that my hiding place was bad when I'm shot in the stomach.

Yes. Then I go, well, it didn't work. You can't even, I'm just going to quickly look up and, oh, no, they're there. Then they've got me. Then they've got me. But I guess covering yourself in bog is good. Yes, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, you're covered in mud or whatever.

Again, my, I guess we're like, how technologically advanced to these hunters are. Like, if they've got night vision goggles, you know, heat and that kind of stuff, like thermal kind of vision, etc. I'm like absolutely fucked. True. It's like, you know, well, it's easy for you with your knife vision and your high-powered scope. It's not very fair, is it? Yeah. Okay.

It depends how they want to go about. Because if they're just kind of like, we're going to, like, what makes it dangerous is I don't want to rely on too many gadgets. I've got a rifle and that's here. There I am hiding in my tree with my rock ready to jump on someone. Yeah. And like, you know, pockets full of sand. Pockets full of sand as the drone just comes hovering. He's near my head.

And I go, what's that? Little camera coming. A little TV comes out. Found you dickhead? What? Yeah, riddled with bullets. It's got to be low tech enough that they can't just, you know, use some kind of overhead thermal map and point us out. Yeah.

They need to have, you know, like a rifle. It's kind of like almost like they're on safari. Yeah, exactly. They've got some guns. That's fine. Maybe one or two of them could have night vision goggles. sure, but no drones, no overhead imaging.

No thermal. No thermal. Because I'm like, yeah, yeah, get like, getting money. Do like Arnie and like the predator. Yeah, smart. Keep the dogs off your scent. That's good. Imagine it's very dark. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's midnight. Midnight. It's midnight. It's midnight. It's midnight. It's survive till dawn. Because yeah, the

no. But the trick is you never... No, no, no. If someone's hunting you for sport, if there's end time, don't believe. Yeah, yeah. You've got to either kill them all or wait until they go back in the mansion and run as far as you get away. Or somehow light the mansion on fire. Yeah. That's the dream.

To burn the mansion to the ground? Yes, please. Okay, that's my end. That's a good end goal. Burned that mansion to the ground. But then here's the problem with burning the mansion to the ground. Yeah. Chances of a mansion burning down fast enough of the people that are inside stay trapped inside.

Yeah. Not huge. Oh, I know, it's more for spite reasons. Yes. Yeah. So you go, oh, yeah, you hunted me for sport. You don't have a house anymore. And they go, yeah, if I can afford this mansion

to hunt you for sport, I've got heapsed out. We know, I know. Yeah, but not this one. Yeah. No, but I'll just rebuild it. I'll claim it on insurance. Yeah, I guess. You've made me very upset.

Welcome to the real world, Bucco. Now start running. Yeah. Yeah. Plus, also, if you burn it down and survive, they're wealthy enough they could probably get the police to just arrest you. That would be really funny. It ends with you getting arrested.

They're like, wow, this is awesome. They were hunting me for sport. Yeah, they can do that. That seems unlikely. I think you've a sport, you're an idiot. They're very wealthy. Why would they do that? Yeah, these are good people, dude.

Because they're very wealthy. You don't get rich by being a bad pussy. Yes, you do? No, no, no. And you become a police officer by being intelligent. Oh, yeah. Fuck, I am going to jail. Yeah.

Fuck, I am dying in the back of a cop car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, what's in woods that could be a weapon? Okay, sticks. rocks, pine cones

bees A snake Now we're cooking gentlemen He go okay I gotta I gotta survive till dawn And I need a pissed off snake Some angry bees I mean you know my pine cone

plan from before maybe with a pine cone That's not successful with a beehive Yeah man You know they're coming Talk us through this beehive plan This is the beehive strategy I find step one, find a beehive, okay? Step two, detach.

Okay, how do you feel about being stung repeatedly? It's a small price to pay. Yeah, also, if you're doing it gently enough, you may be... My dad's deathly allergic to bees. So you have a good chance of it. I guess if you were gently enough, you could trickle that it's all good. So I just click, just detach it, or I, you know, wiggle its eyes so it detaches. Let's find out.

Let's ask our good friend the internet. And then I just wait. And then when the gentlemen come and they go, we found you, like I'm, you know, scoring a goal in NFL or whatever, and I slam it into the ground at my feet.

It explodes open. Well, the guy's near me. What? Because then I can ensure it'll crack open and the bees will come out. Yeah, they're going to start swarming you. You kind of got to do like the,

you wait until they come to you whatever, you're a bubble, and you're like... They've got guns. Well, you throw it at their feet. Yeah, I guess that's probably the better move. Yeah, then... If you're gonna be erratically moving, so you might be harder to shoot.

Well, I get maybe a slamming at my feet. The bees swore me, and I run at them. And they go, fuck, it's the bee man. And then you die because you're definitely allergic to bees. As Zad... My dad was. For me, we don't know. You're probably getting shot.

Oh, he's got bees. Bang, bang, bang. Everybody just don't shoot him. Let's just let him die from bee please. Hang on, wait, hold a minute, let him get stung heaps. Running up a hill will be like, ah! Just collapsing at the heat. Getting really swollen.

Well, swollen and puffed. We'll give that one to the bees. Now hunted by the bees. A rare bee-w. It's a rare win for the bees. Okay. Well, what about the snake then? What's the snake strategy?

Did you? Step one, find a snake. Yeah. Hope it doesn't bite you. Hope it's deadly. Yeah. Yeah, you need it to be poisonous. Mm-hmm.

And I need to believe, yeah. Venomous. Yeah. Needs to be able to bite them and hurt. Yeah. And then also eat it. You go, eat this, gentlemen. I've prepared a delicious snake for you.

What is that? It's not venomous. Let's just try it. Yeah. It's snake sushi. Okay. Mmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Wait a second. Yeah, okay. I'm trying to be honest with myself. Okay. Would I be able, in a life or death situation, do I believe in myself enough to pick up a snake by its tail? In a life or death situation, surely.

I'm dying. If I think that, I'm dying by snake. I know me. I am not quicker than a snake. Even a slow snake, I think I am definitely not quicker than a slow snake. Killed by a slow snake. What clothes do we have? It's also a good question.

Without being ridiculous, obviously I know it's going to be like some variation of what we were. Well, if it starts with a dinner for schmucks, then we're dressed quite well. The chances of me wearing something long sleeve with a long pants is high, I would say. It's a cold New England winter, or, you know, fall. If I'm wearing a hoodie, a long-sleeve t-shirt, no, not enough. But if I'm wearing a hoodie or a jumper, that might give me enough protection to at least. Well, if we're dinner for schmucking, I'm guessing we're wearing an ill-fitted cheap suit. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. And maybe a, maybe you, maybe a jacket? Like an overcoat? Like an overcoat? An overcoat? Because it's cold? Yeah. Yeah. So like a suit jacket. Yeah.

I don't trust myself to avoid a snake butt entirely, but I think if a snake went to go me. Yeah. I think that that's enough layer of protection that I would be able to avoid this snake butt. Enough. Yeah. It would get my, it gets stuck on my jacket or something. Yeah, for sure. But that's okay.

Snake loose. Then you run with the guys wagging your arm and the snake's flailing. Unfortunately, they do shoot me. But if I want to get it by its tail, then you can at least throw it. roll it. Yeah, that's true. Isn't it with snakes? And this is funny to not know. Cracking like a whip. Kill the snake. Fuck!

Well, at least they now know I'm crazy. I'm watching through a sniper. Why do you do that? He's killing snakes out there. We're gonna need like two of... This guy's nuts. The last few hours on earth, like I've got to do what I've always wanted, kill some snakes. Take out as much wildlife as they can.

Cracking them like whoops. How do they keep following? Finding new snakes. Snake whizzles. Jesus. Yeah, but isn't it with snakes you want to grab the head, not the tail? Because if you grab the tail, it strikes back and strikes.

So I think, well, yeah, yeah, we're dead. You go, it's okay. I think you grab the tail and it flings into your forehead. Oh, no, this is a venomous one. The venom is so close to my brain. At least my skull would protect me, right? No. Oh, no.

But maybe you're full of snake venom in your brain. You're unkillable. Maybe for a brief moment, I'll be the smartest, most dangerous man on earth. I'm thinking like a snake right now. I've got so much snake thoughts running through my brain. And now I'm paralyzed and dying. We found him half in, half out of this hole. We think he was trying to go home.

I think he thought he was a snake. We've just still a snake attached to. Yeah, yeah. My forehead. What I do like is that it seems like we're robbing them of the kill. It's funny that by us trying to survive, it just results in us dying before they find us. I'm seeing another way that we could do.

Because again, depends how many millionaires there are or billionaires there are. And also how many other people. I imagine. Could we do a thing? Or at least one of us could do a thing where you almost take a step back or you hold back. And then you just pretend like you're one of the billions. Oh, I can't wait to get these schmucks. Yeah.

Well, I forgot my guns. Like in the dark, in the dark, maybe. True. Like, you know, if they're hunting one, you know, schmuck, you don't know. You just quickly, because again, if they... They just shoot the other schmuck. Yeah. And you go, see, I'm one of you this whole time.

That's... Dude. Hey, I'm undercover bossing. Yeah. There's a real risk. I think we'd run and the three of us would be like, we should work together. And then each of us would imagine the moment where they come and we grow. grab the other one and go, I got him, guys.

To avoid the inevitable betrayal, gentlemen, see you on the other side. Are we going to be like, are the three of us? Are we trying to work as a team? Are we going to be like, boys? The way I imagined it was like... See you on the other side. I imagine it was like maybe like five or six hunters hunting five or six people. Yeah, that's kind of what I was picturing too.

We're just like three of the five or six. It's what you really want. Ideally. Well, if it's a dinner for schmucks, there's other schmucks. Exactly. You're not the only schmugs. Exactly. So ideally what you want is like...

Paulie Shore, maybe there. Yeah, dude. Steve Correll. Oh, wow. Steve Correll, yeah. Yeah, what you want is, you want the hunters to go off, like, by themselves. You want them to be real arrogant.

You can pick them off, yeah. Ideally, you just want one. You want the first kill's going to be the hardest kill, but that's the most integral. Yeah. Is that after that you can... Because then you can wear their clothes, pretend to be them, take their weapons if you want to them.

Exactly. You got some options. Now, to kill, say you got the drop on the guy. Okay? He's stalking, you know, fucking Elma Fudge style through the bushes. You've crept up behind him. What's your strategy for taking out and killing this man? Hopefully I have a shop.

I'm behind. You're behind, yeah. Is he, what's he? Like he wearing head wise. He's got his rifle out. So, Gunn's point, okay, I'm behind him, his point of his point. He's gone forward. Yeah.

What's he wearing on his head? Yeah. An Elma Fudge style cap. I'm praying that there is a rock nearby. You're just going to rock him into the back of the head. Oh, yeah. Like, there's a lot of things that I can't imagine myself doing. Being hunted by a man and cracking him over the head with a rock really easily.

That is within my current moral wheel. Absolutely. Like, slitting a man's throat, that's harder for me to do. For sure. Caving a man's head in with a frock? Oh, exactly. Yeah. Because, again, you're thinking, like, do I have a, do I have I acquired a stick in something?

I'm going to sharp. Because then with a bit of reach and, like, the force, maybe I can jab it in the, like, the soft part of the back of their neck, right? But again, I don't know if that's just going to, you know, wound him a little. Because, like, I don't know how strong I am to do that, like, to kill a man with a stick. But I reckon, like, a decent rock. Yeah. I think you've got to go for shock and awe.

I think you need to grab him, bite him on the back of the neck, and then drive your fingers into his eyes. Oh, fingers in the eyes is a small move. That's good. Because then he's like, what the fuck is happening to me? You need to overwhelm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think one point of pain, like, I mean, a big rock to the back of the head.

That will do that. That will rock a man's life. Big rock to the back of the head, gouged the eye, stomp on a little toe or whatever. Yeah. If there's no rock. Another thing you could do, and it's this one a little more psycho. Yes, more psycho than you. Uh-huh.

I think fingers in the mouth are they just pulling. Yeah, that's a great move, dude. Grab one over the top of the top jaw. I'm going from the side. Oh, that's tear his cheeks. Yeah. Tear his face off. Honestly, stick up the tuckus, not a bad move, too.

What if you're like... Harder to do, though. Because he'd be like, well, but then he's going to drop the gun. Much harder to do. You might just go, ooh, and then turn around and shoot you in the head. And your last moment was putting a stick in a man's ass. Not even, just jabbing between the cheeks. It's not going to go in.

Or if I get real close, just be like, give him a bit of a hug and a kiss on the back of the neck. Real confusing. Then, yeah, my finger is. Porky and then eye long. If he's standing just like regular style and not moving and I've somehow gotten behind him, I'm going a huge boot. I'm hitting asshole gudge and balls. Oh, yeah, good move, dude. My foot's big enough to cover all three and I'm absolutely annihilating.

Yeah, I was thinking like with the cheek situation. And then I grab his face and I just tear it off. Okay, here's this idea. And then I go, what have I become? You're surviving. We've got to do his life. About two rocks. Oh.

And this is I was thinking like, you know, slam onto his ghoulies. Hard to do he's wearing pants. Yeah. But then I'm like, wait a second. Just do that on his ears. Oh, that's good, dude. Disorient him as well? Or even without rocks, if I just like cut my hands and do that,

like just the air pressure going. into his ears. Smart. Like Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, it is. Jackson's right.

Cool. Yeah, that's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that makes sense. No, it's from the guy Richie show. Yeah, where he goes, when he thinks about the fight,

and then you see the fight. What about if you go bugs bunny style, dress up like a pretty lady, and be like, ooh-hoo, you-hoo, over here. Fuck.

Yeah, because there's nothing to say that. How am I finding, like, how am I dressing up like a pretty lady in the woods. Bog water for hair. Bog water for dread.

Bog water for voluptuous body. I'm the bog woman. Bog tits. Hey boys. You're the guy. I'm working for sport. No. I'm a bog witch.

I'm a sexy bog lady. Why don't you come over here? I'll suck you off. A lot of smoo-s. By then I don't really have a plan for it get to me. What the fuck did Bugs Bunny do? I guess I'm sucking this guy.

Yeah, all right. What did Bugs Bunny do with this situation? Think, Jackson. You can't have sucked them off. Right? Yeah. What's up, Doc? Wrong turn it out for cookies.

Let me suck your dick. Let me suck your dick on Bugs Bunny. I think he did suck the dicks. I'm pretty sure. I can remember that now. Yeah, there was like that period of time. Bugs Bunny sucked off all the fun. He sucked off his dick.

It's dick-sock season. All right. I guess that's what I'm doing. Okay. Well, here. You're out. All right. Sucking this guy off.

See, it was a porno. Hey, guys, come over here. It's awesome. This guy's sucking everyone off for some reason. I'm like Bugs Bunny. He thinks he's like Bugs Bunny. I don't know. He's saying is a sexy bug witch?

I don't know what he's doing. He seems like he's lost the plot a little bit. But, hey, it's good to get sucked off. Yeah, exactly. And I live a little longer. A lot of longer. Yeah. You have a confusing final moments on this earth.

Yeah, bite down. Yeah, bite down to one guy. And then gunshot in the top of the head. Yeah, but then hopefully he shoots his penis. Oh, that's true. Yeah, he shoots his own penis that's in your mouth. That's funny. I start taunting him around his dick, and then he goes to shoot me in the top of the head, and I move away at the last sec.

He shoots his own penis off. And I go, you're weirdy yet. That worked exactly as. I intend. I'm bugs bunny, bitch. I'm bug's fucking buddy. Okay. That can be our best plan so far.

Suck them off. Suck them off. Tought them all I'm sucking them off. I bet you'd like to kill me right now or whatever. And then we... They dodge the bullets and they shoot their own penis. Yeah.

And then push them over, steal their gun, run off into the woods. See if I could do that with everyone. I feel like, yeah, the first kill is, like you were saying before, is important because then that gives you the equipment to do easy kills in the future. But it's also tricky because one gun shot, all of a sudden... Everyone goes converge. Yeah, that's what? And if you get more than one guy at a time, they know how to use guns, then we don't.

Oh, I know. So yeah, if you get one guy, what you've got to do is either... Salk him off, make him shoot his own feet, to steal his gun. So stole his gun, whatever. You either got to like brain that guy, like you've got to mess up that face. Yeah. So it's like, you know, they can't identify. Swap clothes.

And then they can, and then you've got to fucking run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then at least they're like, oh, especially if I'm not, like, if I'm not the only one being hunted. And they're like, oh, they know, oh, maybe it's one of the schmucks, whatever, he knows. Yeah. And then I can just pretend I'm there from a distance or whatever because that's going to be like to advantage. But that's why I think you go into the mansion. Yeah, because if you're dressed appropriately, you go back, all of this guy.

The bottle's there. You go, oh, hello, sir, good to see you. Hello, Butler, remember me? I don't care if you're doing that. Hello, Butler, quick question. How do I use his gun again? Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. That's right.

Bang. Killing the butler? You got to kill everyone. The butler's just like us. A common schmuck. No, he's not getting hunted. Yeah, he's not getting hunted. If you don't kill the butler, you go inside,

and the butler gets on the walkie-talkie, and he goes, sure, sir, sir, I didn't say sure. Sir, I mean. Sure. Sure. Oh, no. Yeah. Butler, go outside. You're being hunted.

Shit. Do you pay on the schmock test, Butler? There's one mistake. You're out. But he might go, sir, there's a gentleman inside the manor. You know, is that one of your friends? And then he'll go, oh, let's do a headcount. Then he gets on the walkie-talkie. And he says, gentlemen, sound off.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, hello. Hello. I've got my kill, so I've gone to speak to the. Bottle. I'm going to have it the bath. Okay. Good day, gentlemen.

I'm turning off the walkie of Torky now. How good is being this rich? Ah, ah, ah, ah. Good to throw in a little count Dracula for him. And I turn out wink at the bottle of. From your walkie-talkie. Are you making fun of me? Oh, fuck Dracula's weird.

Counts here. Fuck Dracula. Yes, Dracula. I was. Sorry. A gentle ripping, Dracula, between friends. Yes. Because we are friends, Dracula.

I'm friends with you, Dracula. And who is talking? Frankenstein. Smart move. Smart move. Because that's what I think is the problem about the impersonation. Yeah, exactly. You know, especially say you shoot the guy.

The gunshot goes off. On that walkie-talkie, they're going to be like, you know, a good shot, gentlemen. Yeah, Monko. Was that you? Oh, hello, it's me, Morko, yes. And you're just going to hope you're... Morko?

Yeah, Morko. I said Mokko. I think he killed Munko. Let's get him. Everyone converged on that gunshot. Munko is dead. A man named Morko killed him. You're not going to get away with this, Morko?

So I think he tried to pretend he was Munko. Don't you dare correct me. Okay, we're going to kill Morko. Morko must die. Run into me, my hands up I'm Joel. I'm John, who, Marco is.

I've never lived before my life. I'm just a guy that lives on this island. Good strategy. I'm not one of the schmucks. I live and work at this island. Yeah, I've never been invited to a dinner fishmunk. I'm like a fisherman or something. Yeah.

Like a fisherman or whatever. Yeah, or a farmer or whatever's good. Yeah. Want to see my boat or tractor or whatever I've got? Fuck. Well, I'll show it to you Yeah, I'm real good at growing fish Somewhere

Standing on the beach Oh, I must Floated out to sea My ship or boat or tractor song Damn it Well They sound to my fish tractor Can I go to the mansion

And use the phone To call The Coast Coast Coast World Anyway Anyway, I'm taking up too much of you guys Just time

As you were Carry on you. And if I see this morco guy or whatever, he'll get a piece of my mind. Until then, gentlemen. Good night. Goodbye. Walking off down the beach of the night. This is my island. I know who's here.

Fisherman. I just wanted to let him keep talking because he was an idiot. Yeah, it was good watching him dig his own grave. So yeah, that's why I've got to kill the butler. You're right. You do got to kill the butler. Okay. Okay, do you reckon that rich people respect their butler enough to remember who the butler is? Butler, yes.

Other manservants? Maybe not, though. Butler, that's like, he's like family. What if I go to the butler and I go, hey, excuse me, I'm really late for my manservant shift? Can you point me in the direction of the quarters? Okay. Especially if you steal a man servant, like, you know, like, you got to kill a man servant. Yeah, you kill a lot of house.

I think you got to kill a lot of house. I think you got to kill a pig on the way here and now I'm covered blood. You hit a pig? one second I believe the gentleman here has killed one of your famous pigs your prize-winning sow has been Shall I

One of the man One of the new hires Killed one of your prize-winning sows Well do away with him then Yes let's have that interview upstairs You gotta get a fella You gotta kid a balah Survive the fucking most dangerous games

Get Killed by the Bala Oh, yeah. It's so humiliating. The butler, like, you don't know, because the butler's probably going to be in it. The butler probably is going to enjoy. You know, he's going to be the one like you. Who do you think is going to mount our heads? Yeah. It's the butler, so you've got to kill a butler.

Yeah. You've got any help there. You've got to kill. You're going to kill the help. It's true. You've got to have no witnesses. Just like what they want, you know? If you get back to the mansion, could you just steal a car?

Yeah. And just get out of it. Well, it's an island, right? To steal a boat. Yeah. Don't know how to sail a boat. boat. Can't be that off. No, I mean, if it's a speed boat. Is it a motorboat? Yeah, I can do that.

I think a motorboat just has a thing that goes go. Yeah, you just go. Get out of it. And it goes just like that. Yeah, yeah. I get really confused and end up in the maids district. Okay, and the motorboating is done. I feel really good, but I'm still in the mansion. Something went wrong there.

I have to try again. Okay, still felt awesome. Really love again. I'm here still, I notice, and I'm not on the mainland. One more time, I'm going to hurt. One more try. Sir, there's a gentleman here, motorboating the maids. Has that been all approved?

Let me check the roster. No, all the motorboaters should be here with me hunting. He'll be done away with. You're really at risk to get a killed by the butler, yeah. Yeah, no matter what my plan is, I get killed by the botler. Alternatively, after that, the Butler goes, that says that over the radio and I go, oh, I'm late for the hunt.

That's a good idea, then you can... Right this way and leads you back outside. Fuck. Yeah, is there an armory? Well, you can probably do that. It's a good way to gear up. Okay, step one, you take out with Iraq, one of the millionaires.

Steelers clothes go back to the mansion. Motorboat the maids for 45 minutes to an hour. Then convince the butler, you're just late for the hunting of the most dangerous game. Look, I've got the outfit and a gun. Exactly. He takes you to the armory. Well, I mean, it's actually really easy to go, look, I got the

outfit and a gun. And if you don't believe me... Yeah. I'll kill you. Yeah. And the Butler's probably used to, you know, his master's friends are all probably lunatics. And even if he does, again, even if he doesn't believe me, there's a gun in his face. Exactly. You've got to play it, like, very cool, because if you're going to play, like, the millionaires, a billionaires. Yeah. And if we had been dinner for schmuck beforehand, you might understand, like, how they, you know, how they speak to their butler.

I imagine like, if they're very boity-toity and like these people beneath me, you've got to be very, very almost demanding. Like, butler? Take me to the armory. Unfortunately, though, I feel like that we don't realize we're at dinner for schmucks until 95% of the way for the day. That's the problem of a dinner for schmach. You just think it's a nice dinner with your boss?

Well, yeah. But we would hopefully have paid attention to the, you know, people around. Exactly. Or unless we're just so elated, we're at a fancy dinner for it. I go the opposite. And I go, I got to bring schmocks to this dinner for schmocks. Yeah, you idiots. You guys are so stupid.

You're getting to dinner for schmunk. Why do you hit yourself? I don't know. I was here because I'm a good hang. No, where? He's the schmach. I don't know about that, dude. I think I'm Dan in real life.

I'm all about Steve. Just slowly convincing yourself that you're not the schmuck. I'm not the schmuck. I'm not the schmart. Surely. Maybe I'm horrible bosses. No. Yeah, maybe I'm horrible bosses, but I'm not sure.

It's going to be the schmach. Yeah, exactly. But yes, because once you know how to speak to the help. Yeah, because again, you've got to be very curt, like, not curt, you got to be very, like, you know, just very clip. Be like, nah, take me the armour. And then, unfortunately, once he does, you do have to still shoot him back there. You're going to kill the butler. There's two things inevitable in this situation.

You're so sorry. Either the butler's dying or I'm dying in the, like, from the bar. Yeah, exactly. Once you clear the first kill, go back to the mansion. Kill the butler. There's much information from the butler as you can. And motorboat the maids. Kill the bathe.

Unfortunately, you've got to kill the help. So you might have to unfortunately kill the mates. No, that's not happening. I refuse. There have been nothing but kind to me. Well, they've bloody motorboats. Maybe they'll defend him when the millionaires got. It was really good at it.

You were getting special gratification of this? They go, yeah, for the first time ever, it wasn't just a funny thing. It was awesome. It was incredible. I had a great time. So kill the, kill the butler. You'd find information from them. Yeah.

And, yeah, either armor up, and then you got to either get a distraction. Yeah. So, yeah, cause like a fire. Fire is a good one. So you start burning down. Like, you tell me beautiful maids, hey, I wouldn't, you know. Thank you so much. Thank you for a wonderful time.

I cannot stress how thankful I am. Yeah. No, seriously, God. Thank you so much. This has a man of boots around you. Thank you so much. No, you don't understand. It's been a crazy night, but this was probably the best moment of my life.

Yeah, so anyway, but I'd get out of this. The motorboat so many bucks of maids. In one night? My God! Just ashes. Got too excited. Fair enough. I just wanted to let them know I was really really appreciated it.

So it goes afire, and then while that's happening, and maybe they're either hunting the other schmucks, You all be like, we should investigate that. Then you find a boat and actually get out of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The problem is, I reckon if it's an island and they're rich, it's a helicopter. I don't know if I trust myself. Someone said to me once, flying a helicopter is easier than flying a plane.

Don't know how true that is. Oh, so I can't, look, hey, I can't fly a plane. Yeah, exactly. Helicopter at least is like, turn on motor. Maybe I go up at best. And I'm being very generous to us. I think I could, I reckon, with enough button pressing, I could maybe lift off. Yes, I think I could lift off.

Yeah. I don't know if I could move very well, and I definitely could not land that. No way. So a common expression amongst helicopter pilots to describe what flying a helicopter's like is it's like balancing a marble on a mirror whilst you're standing on a beach ball. Okay. And it is generally more difficult to learn how to fly than a plane. Okay. So, well, hands will be shaking from the adrenaline and excitement from the motorboat.

So I, that's, I'm crashing. Yeah, oh, absolutely. So I guess you've got to kidnap a... Helicopter pilot? Yeah. And be like, fly me out of that. I mean, another strategy. Okay, look.

Yeah. How about this? Let's talk me through, like, I'll talk you through my plan now. As it currently stands. Let's hear it. Get sent into the woods. Find a good hiding spot. Sneak up behind someone.

Yeah. Brains them with a... Kill them the world. Or do what I described before. It was far more graphic. Not them as hard as. Yeah. Just go full odd film.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Unlock the inner me within me. And expose the inner them to outside. Anyway, get their weapons. Go back to the house. Not even necessarily interact with the butler. Okay.

Say hello to the maids. Yeah. Motorboat. Nice. Exactly. Shoot the butler on site. Just okay. Hello, sir.

Back! Set a fire. Yeah, okay. Now, stealing a helicopter, not in my repertoire. But this evening, I have learned that I can hide. Hide in the helicopter. Oh. Because if the mansion catches fire, chances are they're going to leave at some point.

I might be hiding in the helicopter for a couple of hours. It would be 12. Yeah. But then once they fly away, they're not expecting me to also be in the helicopter. Yeah. If it's just one guy and he's obviously when you get on the helicopter, he's probably not going to be dressed in his... I'm hunting gear, yeah, okay.

And I'm up in the air, helicopters usually have doors that are easy to open. Just kick him out. Okay. The pilot will probably be on the guy's side that I just threw out of the helicopter. Oh, he's going to say, yeah. I would be scared of startling them when I rose up behind them and from them to crash the helicopter because of that. I'm imagining like a small kind of helicopter with like, you know, it's very hard to hide. Isn't helicopters like for like, you know, don't they need very like careful, like weight?

And I'm just, you know, I'm just a guy hole, you know, hiding behind there under, like, what? A bunch of jackets. There's not many hiding places in a helicopter, right? Well, what about this? Okay, get back to the manor. Lock all the doors, okay? And bar them. Lock them out. If I can't, well, my house now. Set fire to the place, bar all the doors, burn up all the man servants inside, right? And me?

Butler, yeah, you if you're in there, I didn't know that. No, but Oh, so you're not... I'm on the outside But I do like that You're in there Motivoting you made Well, I'm gonna be anything

You got to get in tears, dude You got two beautiful milky titties On either side of your head You cannot hear what I'm doing I'm dying with a smile The place goes up in flames Man servants are all dead Okay

Then, well, because all of the millionaires They're gonna rush back to the mansion But I go somewhere else and I hide Because they're not concerned about hunting me, they're like, oh, please is on fire. All of the millionaires flee, except for the guy whose island it is. Then it's just me versus one guy,

who's not even expecting it, kill him. Get the island? Get the island? But I think the problem is, just because it's his island doesn't mean that he will stick around if the mansion's burned down.

Well, if they all leave, then I've got time to figure out how to get off the island. That's a good point. If you can get them to all leave, so maybe burning down the mansion because that could force them to leave, provided that it doesn't,

doesn't just make them angrier and want to hunt you. Yeah. I feel like Smoat will make them angry. And then if they leave, then how are you surviving? Feasting off ash and wood and bog water. Yeah. I'll go back to the other schmots. I've developed a taste for spiders.

Yeah. Well, that's, honestly, you're right, though. The other schmucks become a risk, I think. Because now it's a survival situation. Now it's me versus the schmucks. It's schmuck on schmuck action. The good strategy is trying to get all the schmucks together. But that's going to be hard because every schmuck is going to sell out every other schmuck.

Every schmuck thinks they're actually the wealthy. We've all gathered together and I have to constantly turn around to look behind me because there's a schmuck sneaking up. Hey, that's right. Sorry, we're teaming up. No, no, no, no. I think it's a test. I think that I have to kill one of you. And then I'm invited to the next dinner with a schmuck.

You schmuck? God, you're the schmuck. You're the schmucks. We're all schmucks. Media names being like, can you hear? What sounds like a distant, aggressive argument? Between the dumbest guys we've ever heard speak? What about me would make me look like a schmuck?

You're full of bog water and spiders. That's schmuck behavior. To hide and I ate the spiders accidentally. They just kept going down the pipe I was using it. That's the point. Was any of us, are we, Were we hunting? No.

You're all by the fault schmucks. I don't know if that's true. No, no, no, you're schmucks. It's a test for me. If it was a test for you, that means it's a test for all of us. No, no, no, no, no. That's not how this works, you schmuck. I think that guy's the schmuck.

And the rest of us are normal. I think this was a one schmuck situation. And we got caught up in the hullabaloo at all. We're all the schmunks. That doesn't seem right to me. God damn. Because like when I look in a mirror, I don't see schmuck. Yeah, I see a handsome guy.

No, I see a handsome guy. When I look in a mirror, I don't see a schmuck, but look, this dinner really opened up a lot of like for me. I've realized, I'm a schmuck. I'm just a guy from a workplace to the boss likes. Yeah, dude. He was currently a hiked. They picked me up in a shopping center. They're hunting you.

I got in the wrong car. He's definitely a schmuck. Are you my Uber? This is a limousine. Yeah, I thought it was a fancy Uber. I thought I got... Excuse me, I don't know all the fucking Uber. I thought I hit Uber expensive or whatever accidentally.

I don't know, dude. I pressed some buttons? Oh, yeah, fucking... Maybe I hit Uber Limo, huh? Anyway, do you mind if I chugged my milk back here? It's getting warm. I bought it like six hours ago. Didn't allow to find my phone.

Right, right. I left it on the toilet paper holder in the toilet. Yes. Sir, please, take a seat. Oh, thank you. I have been standing in this limousine. It's really hot. You have any dinner plans?

No. Fair. Freezer bird, dude. Fantastic. And I lost my keys, so. Oh, yeah. We can go straight there if you like. Let's do it.

I'm dressed for the occasion. Of course you are. Yeah. I was going to buy a new shirt at the shop at the shop. Oh, yeah. So I was like, well, I don't need a shirt to go to the shopping center. Yeah. That's cool.

on my mind. Yeah, I was like, I don't like out of these shoes. Yeah. It's quite warm, maybe. Yeah, it's a hot day. What's for dinner? Oh, you'll be very cool. I hope it's steak that's really wet and soft. Well, maybe, maybe like medium rare sausages?

Yeah, like old corn. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Goose? You guys eat goose? I had a goose guys. I met it at a pond. You're sick as fuck, dude.

Any spiders? I'm thinking about eating spiders more. You guys are fancy. Probably eat fancy food. Probably fancy spiders. Do you have a secret McDonald's menu that they unlock when you go through the drive-th? Can we go through the drive-to? Yeah.

Do you have like a fancy quarter-bounder? Yeah, because I could go with some nuggets and a fancy big mac and a fancy fries. Fancy fries? I don't have any money. So you be on you. I left my wallet in my shirt. The billionaire is a sales. This is the schmuckiest guy we've ever found.

You believe it? This is crazy. What luck. Organize a hunting of man. We need a couple more. This guy's inspired me. A hunting of man, I don't know what that is. That's funny.

They just talk about it openly. We're going to kill you for sport. I've seen sport. Tennis. Yeah, like tennis. Dennis, basketball. Yeah. Probably football.

Bowling. I'm not bowling. Just not listing. Dark sports? Yeah. Skisking. Motorsport. Water sport.

Olympics. Olympics? Yeah, but not the pissing. Not pissing at each other. Just like splashing around. Do rich guys still do that? You still pissing on each other? Yeah.

Is your piss different? Yeah. Fancy piss? We're going to kill you with guns. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's skeets or something? Skis.

Skitch. Screech shooting It's an arcade A sport Time Crisis too You guys are smart You're love Yeah you figure it out

At the dinner You're like What are we here from I don't know No one said anything I think we're gonna be Playing basketball Oh cool

Water sports or something They're gonna piss on us or something They're gonna touch McDonald's here I think So I think I think I think we do well Yeah

When when push comes to shove we Okay, so look, step what Like the first plan You gotta kill a guy Kill one guy Go back to the mansion Probably start a fire

Or some kind of distraction That then ends the hunt Yeah Then you've just got to try and figure out How to hide and go back with them Honestly the only thing you have In your disposal is surprise And hopefully a gun from a man you've killed

Exactly It was the millionaires of left the island It's just you versus the schmucks And you gotta hope You're smarter than the schmock Unfortunately, listeners, if you're listening to this, you are not. No. My initial plan is just going to be like, I have to go to the, you set the mansion on fire.

Then I go back into the woods as the billionaires are running towards the mansion. I'm also running towards the mansion being like, oh, our mansion's on fire or whatever. And I'll just try to ingrain myself there and try and get out. Hopefully they don't put a bullet in my head, but they're going to put a bullet in my head. Because when everybody's fleeing in the helicopter, they're going to be like, where's your helicopter? and you're going to be like, Oh, I was hoping to, you borrow one of yours.

Yeah, I came with this guy. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Morco? Morco? You killed Morco? No, no, no, no. You're the nefarious morpun.

Kill this man. Yeah, it's hard to get off the island without dying. Yeah, yeah, because otherwise, yeah, as you're chasing behind them, maybe, then you're like, oh, cool, and you start picking them off, but I reckon you only got,

one, maybe two good shots. Absolutely. And then you're getting shot. Then you're going to turn around and be like, oh, you're a schmock. Oh, right. You're a loose schmuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'll take my chances with the schmucks. Thank you very much. Sounds kind of fun, though. Oh, dude, I'd love it. What a blast. Yeah, this is all good stuff. Yeah. What a fun night.

If anyone's having a dinner for schmucks, it needs a schmuck to bring. Yeah. And then to hunt for sport. Exactly. I know two schmocks and a guy you can test. Yeah. Me too, dude. Yeah, me too.

I got two schmucks in mind and one guy to be tested. So, hey, we invite us. You know where we are. And if you just want to invite me, I promise I'll bring a schmunk. Well, if you, you know, you're hosting this, just hit us up at Plumbing Pod on Instagram. Message us. Be like, hey, you're invited to a dinner for clever guys. I get a dinner for regular guys.

A regular dinner. Yeah. Oh, sounds great dinner. We'll fancy this clothes. We'll be there We'll be there in a heartbeat And on that note I've been Jill

I've been Jackson I've also been Joel Remember if you want to support us You can If you want to support Your favorite three schmucks Sign up to the Bad Brain Boys Sorry

If you want to support your favorite Two Schmocks and an awesome handsome guy Sign up to the Bad Brain Boys You get access to a bunch of extra content Bonus episodes of Plumming the Death Star What If Eye cramps Jackson Bailey Spooks America

Access to the Discord Did I already say that probably earlier episodes oh, dude, so much good shit and you'll be supporting us and allowing us to continue doing this fuck-ass podcast

podcast. And I know that a lot of people go, oh, every podcast has a patron, yeah, but we fucked ours off. We've fucked it. We offer way too much stuff. Exactly.

It's an overwhelming amount of content, really. And we can't raise the prices because then people were unsubscribe. So we're just stuck in a limbo. It'd be rude to. Yeah, exactly. Fuck us over

by subscribing to the bad break. You get fucking 30 bonus monthly podcast because we don't know how to run a business. One million years of content. Yeah. So hey, get on it. And we'll see you there. Bye.

I'm not a schmuck. Yeah. Me neither, dude. Yeah, same. I guess we're the hunters. That can't be right.