Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You the Dr Dolittle Powers for Financial Gain or Personal Profit? with Chloe Appleby

Episode Date: October 4, 2026

Your boys are joined by the best they've ever had to try and figure out how we can turn a profit after being cursed with the power to talk to animals. Jackson thinks he's qualified to be a pet therapist specialising in pandas. Zammit just wants to gamble at the tracks before Chloe takes that idea and runs with it an unexpected but simple conclusion and JD wants to use snakes to steal things. So listen in as we creatively kill a cow, cause a farmer to question his life choices and have to ruin an old man's day by giving him some outdated but very sad news. The most important thing you can do to support Chloe is follow her on instagram at @chloeappleby__ on instagram and if you're heading to PAX AUS, make sure you go to her many panels!Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Flumbing the Death Storm. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe. And today we're joined by very special guest, Chloe Appleby. Hello. Thank you so much for joining us. I've never been here before.

You're already nailing it. Yeah. Well done. Hell yeah. Probably I'd say you're the best guest we've ever had. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

But I haven't over my mouth yet? Mm-hmm. No, no, no. Because I'm a woman. No. No. No. We've had women.

What? Chloe, we've had women before. I'm just checking. I don't know. Definitely. We've had a couple. You're definitely better than Darcy is all I'm saying. Yes, exactly.

That's, yeah, easy. Easy but a clear. Yeah, easy. Yeah. Plumby the Dead Star is a comedy pop culture podcast and asked the important questions like, how would you use the Dr. Doolittle powers for personal gain or financial profit? Dr. Doolittle, obviously, of cursed little boy, he can talk to animals, okay? Okay.

Whether you're taking the Eddie Murphy one or the Robert Downey Jr. one, okay? His powers he could talk to them. Or the other one. Oh, the original one. You're right, dude, with the push-me-pull you. Or Dr. Doolittle three of the Eddie Murphy one where it's his daughter, I think. Exactly, because it is a genetic ability that he has. Okay. But obviously, I mean, I think the ability to talk to animals, like, this is huge for making money, dude.

Right? I immediately thought, and then I realized this was a job, dog therapist. But I could probably blow all of the other dog therapists out of the water. Oh, yeah. You know? Well, here's the thing. Dogs and cats and most animals, I know that we love to place personality on them. Yeah.

But animals are pretty stupid. Yeah, but if you have the Dr. Doodle powers, we've seen that those animals will emote. Yeah, they talk like people. That little monkey, he's drunk from the circus. That little monkey is an alcoholic. Remember? He's only drinking Gatorade, though, actually. That's you besperching that monkey's poor name.

He's only drinking Gatorade. Yeah, it's Gatorade. Damn, I don't remember that movie. Gatorade smells like wine now. Yeah. Okay. Oh, it's a joke. He is still drinking wine, but it's in a gatorade bottle.

Awesome way to drink wine. Yeah. But if you imagine... Clearly don't remember Dr. Doodle. No. Eddie Murphy talks to a dog. That's all I remember from Dr. Doodle. That is right.

Dogs is his best friend. What else does Eddie Murphy talk to and Dr. Doolittle? In Dr. Doolittle, too, he talks to a bear. Dr. Dukh, too, he's going to get a bear pregnant. By himself? I don't know. I don't remember. It could be.

No. He's got to get the bear. He's got to be a bear. You're a circus bear. But I understand that. We've got to get you into the wild. Oh. Introduce you and talk to some bear honey. And breed you.

Yeah. I was going to breed the bear. I don't know if that. Now that I'm thinking about it, don't know if that was part of the park. That's probably the main point. Are you confusing it with real life how they keep trying to make panders have sex by showing them pandas upon? How can be a real life when Eddie Murphy had sex? Actually, that would be a, you know, all right.

It's a good power. Yeah. Okay. Go with your. Okay. All right, Jackson, you're the dog or animal therapist. Okay. Me and Chloe here, we run a panda sanctuary, and how pandas?

They're not fucking. Hi, how you doing? Hi. Thank you so much for choosing Jackson Bailey's pet psychiatry. We've heard really good things about you. I'm good at my job. My ex-therapist recommended you. Oh, okay.

Okay. He didn't do a good job of me, but he told me that you did great wonders on his dog. They're just slipping that in it. I'm not fixed. I'm still not doing the whack. I put a role playing here. No, okay, sorry. Excuse me.

Okay, so what seems to be the problem? Lovely zoo, by the way. I mean, panda sanctuary. Thank you, thank you. You know, with pandas, they're endangered. Sure. And we've got a breeding program. But the problem is, they're just, they're not humping.

Yeah. They're not feeling it. Okay. They're more interested in climbing. Okay. In rolling. Well, let me get in there. Look, we've bought like the male of our species.

Joel Dusha, our panda. Hello. He says hello to me. That's awesome. And he says it in a panda voice. And that's not what you'll maybe thinking. What's a... Okay.

Well, hold on. Maybe you're expecting him to have an accent. I don't know. He does have an accent. Well, they are from China. Is he got a Chinese accent? No. No.

He does not. Chloe. Chloe. I just want to say you are the best guess ever. He doesn't sound Chinese at all. Okay, okay. What kind of phrase that you would say that. They are!

It's funny to say that as the panda. What the hell, you? No, I just, they thought you might, they asked me. I am Chinese. You're seeing me desperately trying to explain myself to the end up. Well, we're panda specialists, and we're just trying to learn more about pandas. So this is good to know that he's got a universe. I am Chinese.

He is Chinese. Okay. I guess it would, by definition, did he was like he would have a Chinese accent. Well, he'd have a panda accent. This is my Chinese panda accent. Yeah, it would be like a Chinese pandera accent. Well, he's got, I suppose this is what they must sound like in China. They?

Yeah. The man is. Dude, what the hell? Shut the fuck off for a second. Wait, don't talk about panda that way. Well, he's giving me a limp. Okay. He's very, I mean, like, the band.

Panda therapist? I'm gonna need some space. Why are you talking to our panda like that? Because that's part of the therapy. I'd appreciate that. What are they saying? They say, oh my God. Why is it so hectic?

They're heated because I, I'm just in an argument with them, okay, about your accent. And I said, fuck you to you. But you're not meant to do to animals, Mr. Panda. You might not know that. Hey, what fuck you do? A panda looks very angry. Well, you pay me. Should we pay him?

Why am I not paid before doing the job? It's a consultation, right? Hey, you should not be paying you. You're doing a terrible job. Can I have some space with a pair of the table? Can you tell him to hurry up and make sure his speech is not endangered? Okay, Mr. Panda, the... What?

I'm on the back foot. You're on the back foot. Yeah, okay, first of all... I've come into a room. I can't understand what people are saying. You're saying fuck you to me. Let me first of all... I'm my house.

I'm not Chinese? I never said you're not Chinese. I never said that. You are... What a funny thing to hear only one of. You are Chinese. You're Chinese as how, okay? Yeah, good.

It's funny because from Chloe and Zammert's... Ra, rah, rah, right, right, right, right. You are Chinese. Does he hate that he's Chinese? No, he's mad that I even questioned it. Okay. Here's the thing. The zoo is worried, the sanctuary is worried that you're not sleeping with the other pandas.

No, I don't want to have kids. They want to, oh, that's complicated. Dude, I'm so tired all the time from eating nothing but bamboo. Okay. So I've spoke to the panda. Okay. He's kind of, he's like a, just like a bachelor. You know, he likes that bachelor lifestyle, and he's so tired.

He's not doing anything. Yeah, we take care of so much. Yeah. I'm tired. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'd like me to bring that back to the band. Well, hold on. I don't like the way you're talking to him. Okay. Would you like me be kind to the biggest? Maybe not. I'd like at least 20% kinder.

Okay. And maybe so he's just tired. Let me try that. And also maybe just be like, um... Is there something we could do? Yeah. Is there anything like to help? Because like if he does it, like what's the main problem? You should also tell him that Brenda really likes him. Okay. All right.

That's the other panda. The problem apparently he's eating too much bamboo that's making him sleepy. He's wasting a lot of energy eating the bamboo. Okay. You can't stop that. Yeah, well, at least, you know, rationing up. Okay. So you don't stop it completely.

No, we can't stop. We can't starve him into making love. We shouldn't give him extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been feeding him an extra. Okay, you've been overfeeding him. Hey, um, so I've spoken to the owners of the sanctuary. Yeah.

A couple things. Now, I'm one, Brenda, the panda. I believe, I think it's a panda. It's very. Fred is a panda. It's very attracted to you. I don't know what you're saying, though. Okay.

Oh, and number two, probably they've been overfeeding you, so they're going to cut back on that. What the hell, man? Oh, I don't know. You're getting my food cut off? No, what kind of therapist are you? You're a bad therapist. Why did you tell him that? What?

I'm just trying to, because... Wait, whoa, you can understand. Well, he's no speaking beer. You're just speaking at the bear with normal regular ones. I was speaking man at the bear. It's a bear through some sort of... Sorry, I had an episode and thought you were speaking beer. No, the therapist, I guess.

It didn't take it. I don't know what's going on. That's okay. Fair enough, it's why we called you. I'm speaking man to the bear. The bear speaks bare to me. I hear it in man. Oh, that one session and ten minutes in, you already told me to fuck you and you've got my food cut down.

Well, you haven't had a license. You shouldn't have a license. Don't tell him that. That's for us. What? You two should have been here. Okay. We would like to.

I perform poorly under pressure. It's a very endangered animal. You've just killed a species. I don't think I've killed the species. You're not helping. I'm stressing the bear out. Yes. Not helping.

No one's denying. The bear's stressed, okay? Ask them, ask Joel do you show our wonderful panda. Is there anything that we can do to help him make love to Brenda? the keepers are wondering if there's anything they could do

that would make you more likely to make love to Brenda Yeah, give me my food back Are you saying me now that if you get the rations you used to be on back You'll try and make love to brand to the brand Yeah, no promises though

Okay I don't know why you're trying Well, so I've spoken to the band off And he says if you bring the food Back up to what you were When you were overfeeding him Okay Okay then he's gonna try

But he said no promises. What the hell? I mean, look, no one's cut or gained. We're right now, we're literally back to square one. We haven't moved to anywhere. The needle of her food hasn't shifted. You suck. Yeah, dude.

You suck. You suck. Can you just, the issue was he wanted to be a bachelor bear? Yeah. He liked a bachelor life, though. Is there anything that we can, just if he has the kid with Brenda, like maybe. Well, okay.

He can be like, we'll take off. We're going to take off the panda. He doesn't have to look after. He can be a deadbeat dad. What about if you just have sex with Brenda, impregnate her, and then Brenda and the kid, not your responsibility. That seems pretty fucked up. But this isn't my offer.

This is the offer of the keepers, okay? It's also kind of weird to bring up. I guess the bear doesn't like the offer. No, I don't think he likes it. So my owners have brought me in here to explicitly talk about getting you to get me to have sex. That's my job here. Yeah. What can we do?

Hi. I've got your food back. Oh, hotter pandas? Harder. Okay. He says that the pandas aren't attractive for him at the moment. Can you ask him what he finds attractive about pandas? What's he really good to know?

What's a hot panda for you, they want to know? I don't know. I haven't seen one yet. I've been in a zoo my whole life. Is there such a thing as panda pornography we could show him? Shockingly, yeah, I think. Okay. I think they do this in real.

He's in charge of them. I genuinely think they do that. Well, if we could get some panda porn... That's not real. If we get some panda porn, you can give it the joldoosh with the panda. He can pick an attractive panda from maybe like a dating thing, you know, like old school. He gets some panda personal ads. Yeah, maybe if I could get a phone and I could install Panda Tinder.

He wants a phone. No, I'm scared about the phone. But what if we gave him options like Shrek? Like Shrek style, which... it's... Okay, what's that mean? Mr. Dushia, the panda. How do you see the film Shrek?

No, I haven't caught it. We're going to need to get a TV with Shrek on it. He's lying. I've thrown in Shrek before. We watch Shrek a lot in this zoo. They're saying you're lying. They're calling you a liar. He has type 2 liabilities.

This ain't you of type 2 liabilities. Is that true, man? Because you've got to be fucking straight with me, man. I'm fighting for my life. Okay, I'll be honest, I was just trying to squeeze another screening of Shrek out. I love that freaking movie. Okay. Well, is there a chance of...

How about this as an option? Because, you know, if we get in contact with the other, like, you know, the pandas around the world, and maybe you can be there, you could talk to their panders. And maybe you could, like, facilitate what pandas may have, like, attractive to each other. I guess I can start a sort of panda dating service. Yeah. Where I try and match up pandas with one another. Yeah.

And then I coordinate with the zoos to ship the pandas, you know, across the country, so that maybe they can meet and make love you and get baby pandas for your zoo. Does that sound? Well, I think it's our only option. I don't like this guy. I mean neither, but. But we're going to have to contract him up. Can you wait until I'm out of the room?

No. No, you know what you've done. Come on. You can't. You can't. You're aware. I've been a very trying day. the office.

I'm not hiding my disdain. I just feel like you can't just come here saying what you say and think you've done a good job. Well, I think I've organized, I've got to made some headway. Wasn't even your idea. We have to come up with that. Well, I'm really only here to coordinate between you and the panda. Look, listen, you're only here because you can speak to animals. Yeah.

Yeah. Because your doctor do little something in your life. You understand me? That's why you're here. If I could, I wouldn't have you. Yeah, exactly. But am I still getting paid is the main thing? Well, I'm going to have to.

Exactly. And seen. Financial profit. It still fucking counts. It sure does. I mean, I would say, yeah, it counts, but what, one session? Well, then they, well, it's okay. No, I said I was going to make a contract.

Yeah. Yeah. But the problem I have is what they call word of mouth. Yeah. I would say. When another, I contact another zoo. Yeah, because the zebra's sick or whatever and they don't know why. And then you find out the other zoo is employing me.

You go, hey, just buy the buy. He told him panda to fuck off. He does need some better bedside matter. He's growing. He's growing his business. Exactly. I'm just starting out. But that said, like, if you were to, like, yeah, do, like, Zoom calls with other sanctuaries dealing with pandas and getting them to, like, bang and stuff, that'll take up a lot of your time.

Yeah, that's okay. You could jack off the pandas. Well, I don't need the doctor do little powers for that. Yeah, I think they just have some Zoomkeepers. Yeah. Yeah, that's not my job. It's crazy how many jobs at the zoo is just jacking off the animals. It's a lot of jobs.

They don't tell you about that when you do career days. No. They go, we've looked at your test and have you ever thought about jacking off horses? Well, even like when, I mean, even like when you get a dog. Like, Joel Zammett, you famously had to look after a dog. You had to finger every day. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't.

I didn't actually. What? No. No put two stories. What the, he asked. I knew somebody and they had to look after their friend's dog. And that friend, I love this dog. But that friend, like, their dog was the worst dog in the world.

Like, it's dead now. Thank you. It's a horrible dog. But yeah, it had no tail. So it had basically like human butt cheeks. Its nipples were huge. They're like the first thing you could, like, you'd notice from, like about them. And I was like, oh. Imagine walking over you and hearing brr.

Yeah. I was like, oh. Oh, I guess it's like an ex-breeding dog or whatever. And they're like, no, she's two years old. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Two years old. It was kind of like the bus in speed.

It couldn't get above like a certain degree or else like it. It basically exploded. And it also had like a very dry vulva that you had to apply cream to. Yeah. I asked my friend, you're not doing that right. And they went, yeah. I'm like, you're an incredible friend. That's crazy, dude.

To finger your dog? Not even your own dog. That's crazy. Crazy, dude. I would not finger your dogs, you know? And that says nothing about our friendship. Yeah. It's just, hey, man.

I just wouldn't do it. When I owned a dog and had to get there, like, its anal glands expressed, I went to the vet. That's the move, dude. Hey, I can show you how to do that. And I went, ah, ah, ah. I don't want to know. No, no, no, no. That's not for me.

Well, okay, maybe talking to the zoo and trying to get the panders to fuck, maybe that didn't work out. What else could we do to make money off Dr. Doolittle? to the tracks. Yeah. And maybe we could just like, talk to the horses. Yeah. Or the dogs.

Yeah. And be like, we could rig the races. Maybe you could skeve out some of the horses and then not your one. I think we could like, you know, maybe make a, like a deal with some of the other, like the dogs or the horses to be like, well, let's rig this. We'll get, I'll get some money. And then you're going to get, what do you guys want? Well, you know, that's smart. Because you go to a dog, a greyhound and you go, hey.

Throw this race. Yeah. Because it doesn't matter the dog. You go, I'll give you fucking all the kibble you want. Because the dog doesn't care about winning. It just cares about the reward. So if you say that to, yeah. Or be like, hey, dog, I need you.

I'll give you all the kibble, what if you attack that dog? That's two dogs disqualify. Oh, that's a good idea, dude. I've got an alternative. Okay. Fuck racing. Okay, right? Sure.

Hit me out. We go to the race course. Okay. We go to the horses. We go to the dogs. We tell them all. Let's kill everybody. All right.

Okay. Interesting. I think you're talking about, you're the best guess. The best guess we've ever had. Going up to the horse and being like, we've got to kill everyone. Yeah, yeah. Everyone at this races, they're going to go.

And we're going to loot all their bodies. Yeah. We're going to take the safe. Oh. And then no one can stop us because we're going to ride off into the distance. They're all fast. A stampede of horses and dogs is terrifying to terrifying. Yeah, seven to five hours.

Yeah, exactly. I'm talking faster. Yeah. How many people are at the dog track typically? I was like, how many, like... We go on Melbourne Cup. Okay. Oh, we're going...

We're going to be. Yeah, yeah. Televites. We're going for the big leagues. Okay. Okay. If all the horses decided to just, like, go... Rise up.

Yeah. And rise up in any given, like, race. How many, like, people do you reckon they could take out? Well, every jockey. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Easy. Yeah, yeah.

Just roll over. You're a horse with a jockey on your back. How do you kill? it. Roll. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Stop dropping roll. Roll and laying you back with your feet in the air, waggle it around, crush the jockey with your big horse spine. And then as they try and run away, you go, unk, unc, and eat their legs like a fucking anaconda.

I like the idea of keeping it cool, but when they pose for the vertors, just lean over and eat the jockey's head hole. And they're charging a valenks style. Yeah, see, that's smart. Look, I've thought about this, why I told them about racing, and I'm like, I'm going to up one up you all. Yeah, I just feel.

Just telling a horse to kill is so funny. Getting in its ear, kill them all. I just feel historically we're very, like the one thing we're probably very good at is like killing and naming horses. Killing horses in warfare? Yeah. We nailed that one. This is why we flip the script and we make sure they live forever.

Yeah. Okay, so step one, we have a mortal horses. Step two, more a dog. Okay. Step three, we're immortal. Yeah. I feel we've skipped some steps. Step four, money.

I feel with steps. We take the, The Greyhounds races safe and then that's where we get the cash. Okay, first we do you need to make immortal horses and then immortal us? No, dogs. We stay mortal. No, no, we're mortal third. Okay.

And then money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, immortal horses, immortal dogs, immortal us, money. Yeah. And then we're in charge. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Well, we are immortal.

Yeah, after we get step horse money, obviously step five is we're in charge. Yeah. And then we cut to 10 years in the future. We're still kings and queens Talking to the animals They're all also immortal They're out the front with AKs Guarding

The horse has an AK Yeah Oh right How is it holding the AK? I want to know Oh well it's got a strap around its neck Yeah And the trick is by its mouth Okay so good

Yeah Yeah because it needs all four legs to move around Yeah that makes sense Have you seen a video of like a horse with one of those like rubber chickens? I just like like like swinging around like that? Like could we somehow design a trigger? Yeah, in the horse's mouth. Like a ball gag.

Like a boss's mouth. Yeah. Or a bite? Yeah, whatever it's got to be, dude. And then it chomps down and that and fires the AKs off. Perfect. So the horses I got to ask, I mean, I guess we have Dr. Doolittle powers, but they're like guys. Yeah.

Okay, cool. They're the equivalent of our friends. you think this is a problem. I don't mean, maybe not. Maybe this is all above board. But if I was an immortal horse and I was a guy, I'll be like, why aren't I the fucking cake? Yeah, that's what I was wondering. No, because we are benevolent. Oh, okay. We treat the horse as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we each get a horse? I know it's a dictator. No, we don't because we're friends. Okay. You did say kill them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the horses. That's, no, wasn't it for the horses. The horses are killing them all. Yeah, I know, but that's pretty. But we were also

killing. Come on, grow up. Yeah, but no, but that is a dictator move, is what I'm saying. My second quote. Are there any other humans left or if the horses killed them all? That's wipe the guts. Is this like, huh? Oh, for the, for the Romanian humans. Yeah, yeah, because we have our own little area now.

Okay. Horse toopia. Horse and dogtopia. Yeah, yeah. And then we also do a lot of handiwork too, which is why we're respected amongst the horse and the dogs because we can do a lot more than what they can't. Well, we make the world like accessible for horses. Absolutely.

Horse houses. horse chairs. Do we need to? Horse trains. A horse chair. Yeah, dude. I'm picturing a horse chair right now. That's how smart I am.

We have screenings of films like Twilight. The horses love Twilight. These ones will. With the extermination of most of humanity. Yeah. Do we need to make... No, I just said the ones in the Melbourne Cup. Oh.

So we're just killing Melbourne Cup. But because we're in charge, there are roving bands of human, like, sort of like, wastelanders. Maybe it's like the walking did. Oh, okay. Just people. Okay. So with, trying to pick the set ones now, okay, so with the horses rising and dogs rising up.

I think this scenario is quite straightforward. I understand it's straightforward. I'm stupid. Yeah. I see some clarification. Yeah. Happy to. If they're not interacting with most of humanity, they're mostly interacting with us.

No, we're also got TV. MTV. So would we need to design them to live in a human world because it feels there's going to be more horses and dogs than that? Yeah, it's probably better we live in a horse world. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, we're on full. We should just go on all fours. Well, the horse chair I was imagining and rotating in 3D in my mind was like a kind of ottoman that the horse steps over and then splays itself out on.

Resses its belly on. Yeah. Can horses get back up? Like in general? Well, that actually, it's a suggestion. Yeah. Yeah. From what scenario?

Horses can fall over and then get back up. Yeah. Well, they're all spayed out like that. Yeah, they can get back up. It's checking. It's like they can. is that they can climb upstairs but they can't go downstairs.

Isn't that cows? Donkeys? Yeah. But what's the difference between a cow and a donkey and a house? Everything. I mean, well, yeah.

Stubbornness? Different animal? I have the stubbornness. When you're dealing, when you're dealing with stairs, what's a difference? Well, one's got, aren't they different hooves? Could be knees, I don't know.

That's why I asked. That's why I asked. And I guess the answer is, I don't know. I know. I don't know the difference. Jumping down my throat. I was asking a question.

To me, all farm animals are basically the same. And to me, most farm animals can't climb downstairs, except for chickens. They nailed that. Chickens can go up and downstairs, but I would love to see that. Pigs can look up, right? Yeah, they do that. Yeah, but can they properly look up? They don't have necks.

Yes, yeah. Like, what? Chloe. I'm sorry to step. I don't want to step on your toes. They don't have, like, like, like, like, they don't have, like, they don't. They can't do this. Yeah.

They can't do this. If they like, I think they roll to their side. Well, wasn't Sam Neal rest in peace grabbing them around the belly and showing them the stars? No, that was, um. Sam Neal had a pig. More in order, guys. Yeah. Yeah.

What's his name? Is it Maloney? Wasn't it Maloney? Yeah, it might have been. A lot of celebrities have pig. They're great animals. But I learned recently. Huh?

George Clooney has a pig. That's right. Jackson had a pig. Yeah. Why did you give it up? Gave him cancer. Stood on my testicles gave me cancer. Yeah.

And you can find out more about that story on At Plumbing Pod. We're not going to revisit it now. I'm not going into it again. You can find that out in your own time. Okay. Good pig, though. I found it recently they hate being touched, which is funny because I was touching the shit out of the pig.

Grab in its face. The wonder gave you cancer. Yeah, they can't look up. Yeah. I'm surprised it didn't bite me, frankly. Because they had what? No, no. Beings have

I know you're our guest Chloe They just have short, thick and muscular necks Yeah exactly So they can't look up Yeah They do have necks

They do have necks Yeah I can't stop imagining Going upstairs And a chicken Going up the stairs Next to me How funny that is

For some reason We go We're better than other farm animals I think it's because in my mind It's like I'm attending a class And like a fancy British university And I'm going up to my class And the chicken is too

Yeah It's kind of a scenario Like a blazer and a little time Yeah Like it's book sack on its... Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first chicken to go to college. John the chicken.

John the chicken. Because you can communicate with it. Exactly. Exactly. I'm excited for class. You can teach... I am not looking for friends. I could teach a chicken.

You could teach all the farm animals to go upstairs. That's true. That sounds like it's going to be frustrating. Because like... You asked for this. Fuck! Yeah. You asked for this power.

Yeah, I know. I know. I just trying to figure... I just think if I had a cow, which cannot go downstairs, backward. And I said, okay, cow, take a step back. And the cow said, what do you mean? I don't know how to do it.

Maybe you don't know the patience for this. I don't think I do. Yeah, I don't think you do. Okay, let's roll play. I'll be a cow. Okay, I'm halfway up the stairs. I'm going to be quite delightful. Okay, let's go.

Moor. What, sorry? We're not role playing. Speak English, could you? I'm a cow up to stairs. What? I'm scared because I'm halfway up the stairs. Hike out and I give you a little

scratch on the hand. Thanks very much. I appreciate that, but I'm kind of freaking out because all I can do is go up and then like what. Like what? So I want to get out of the tower. Hey, it's okay. Don't worry. Then I play some soothing music for you. What are you playing?

Annual? Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. I put some manual on. Sailor away. Okay, great. And we sit there. We have feelings for a bit. Okay. Let me tell you my feelings. My cow feelings are. I feel scared.

You're scared right now. Because I went up the tower because I thought. maybe there was grain or like hay up here, but no, or a guy that was going to milk me? Wrong. Okay. You're a lady. Yeah, I'm a lady cow. Okay.

Just checking. Yeah, I'm a lady cow. And I'm bursting with milk. Oh, do you need me to milk you before we go downstairs? Well, I mean, order of operations I'd rather get off the stairs. Oh, okay. Well, I just thought, you know, alleviate some stress. Well, yeah, if you want to milk me, sure.

Okay. All right. Well, then we milk each other. Okay. That's milk each other. No, I just milk I just milk you. How's a cow going to milk?

Sorry, wow, Paulie's getting that cow out of the tower and you're just getting your breastfeeding a cow? Like, well, her methods I don't know if I do. You cannot argue with results. I'm not going to pay this.

I'm the guest. A weird pet therapist. And then I'm like, it's okay. Okay, tell me how, what are you going to do? See, this, see, you all. leg and I'll show you my leg. Well, your front leg. Okay. Yeah. Because you're going down. Great. I've got it. Yeah. I want you to put that. Take that foot. Okay. Put it down. A little song. Okay. Now I believe by like by my muscles and bones. Yeah. Yeah. So you can,

cows can actually, they can physically go down. Oh, they're just too stupid. But it's difficult and dangerous. Mostly because of body weight. Yeah. Limited vision, joint design. And, um, um, The unnatural slopes. So I'm so likely to be like, okay, Chloe, I trust you. I'm not going to be. But you know what's crazy? Yeah. Worked, I got you downstairs.

You're dead. Then you go up to the farmer and you go, $50 please. And here's your bucket of milk. Is it mine or is it a cow? Were you breastfeeding my cow before? Someone had to comfort him. Confidy. My cow.

What? That's how. Oh, you're the first. Yeah, it's mine and down it's full, I'm the cow. Yeah, you're dead now. Oh, fuck. Oh, my fucking bones.

You could walk down. It's just, um, you would find it very hard to break. Well, I wish someone had told me that. Going downstairs because they get, you think about momentum and the weight of the cow. Take me to a cow hospital. It doesn't seem dead. It's mooing. Yeah.

I go down there and I'm like, look, I didn't get a chance to tell you how to break. Yeah. Well, that would be nice. I didn't think you were going to actually step forward. Well, you said take my leg and step back. Can you take me to the leg and step back? Can you take me to the. the cow hospital?

Are you gonna take me to the cow hospital? I'll go to speak to your farmer. Okay. Yeah. Hey, we need to go to the cow hospital. What has,

is, is her legs broken? Like, what's wrong? Yes! Because like, is that, my legs are broken.

Like, I mean, like, we could take her the cow hospital, but like that's gonna, I mean, we've got the slaughterhouse not that far.

Don't turn me into a steak. You can't. You can't understand me. Oh, that's true. I know you. I know what kind of guy you are. She says, she knows you and says that you're going to turn her into a state. I mean, that's a potential.

It's why probably cheaper. Is that we're saying? That's farms not doing. Yeah. Don't tell us. Fuck! No. I'm going to get out of here.

She's in pain. I don't want you. She's in pain. She's going to make me a fucking space. What? Come kill him. Yeah, good. I don't want you turn her into state.

Why not? Gored by the ball. Well, we run a dairy and meat farm. Hey, farmer. You're trying to turn this cow into steak. Why are the sheep going like... What's what with these sheep? The sheep are now trying to ride up against you.

Why? What have you done? I'm going for a lot. Kill him. Kill him. They're really... They're really not happy with you. Why aren't they happy with them?

Well, because you're going to kill her. I mean, well, I'm just saying we are a dairy and... beef-producing farm. I'll still make a good milk. She's just outside down. Yeah. But say, there's probably a lot of broken legs.

Can you, is it, can a cow come back from getting the leg broken? I don't think they can. So it's a cow cast. Are you to cow cast? Well, probably you could,

you could just snap my legs where they're broken and just put me in like a cow wheelchair or something. Oh yeah. There you go. That's not got to be expensive. I'm sorry,

get a wheelchair. She's asking for a wheelchair now. Okay. Cow wheelchair. And this is coming out of your insurance? Say a cow wheelchair. I'm not going to fit in a regular wheelchair. When you sign me on, you do the deal.

This is all coming out of your pocket. Dr. Dool. Say cow wheelchair. I'm not going to fit in a regular wheelchair. Cow wheelchair. Yeah, is this, you have that designed? When you brought me on. Tell them that doesn't exist yet, but I'm sure we can figure it out.

We have to invent it. And you are going to work with our prize cow here. I don't know how to make that. I think I'm dying. Oh, that was your prize cow? Why don't you let her go up the tower? You were in a idiot. We did.

I mean, she escaped. What is he saying? Is he blaming me? Yeah, he's calling you a bitch. Sheep, killer! Calling a little bitch! Ow! Fuck off, she!

Get out of you. Fuck off. It's hard. It's not easy, is it? No, it's not. My work is done. Yeah. Another successful job you just step over the corpse of the cow.

I'm not paying you as I get the bolt cunt. Another job well done. I'm getting Mac is on the way home. Yeah, I deserve it. I deserve a little. That's not true for what I did today. Maybe I had like a cheeseburger.

I thought you're in a milkshake. Reminds me of an awesome part of my day. Oh, milkshake, I had a cheeseburger. I had a good day today. Hey, Maccas, can you add a little breast milk to that? Yeah, I fed a cow. What up? No, cow's feeding me?

It's part of the New McDonald's breast milk, right? Just standing over you. So you wanted to, breastfeeding was Was calming you? Well, I'm dead. You'll never, you'll never. Damn. And from that day on, I had a fucked up cow.

That farmer brought in breastfeeding in for his cows to calm them down. Whoa. Because he learned something that. It probably would calm a cow down to breastfeed it. I don't be honest. Yeah, I wouldn't implement that as a farmer. I just figured out a pervert cow. Yeah, probably.

That's more likely. Yeah, I'm pervert cow in heaven now. But imagine the amount of breasts I get to suck a lot. In cow heaven. That's true. It's just wall to all human breasts And I a cow Get to live my perfect life

Like as the farmer I feel like That would probably haunt me the most Yeah Being like but a human nipple Is nowhere near as long as a cow And you know what I'd be thinking Probably I'm milking this cow so often It kind of wished it could do a bit of the milking

Yeah It's not even It wants to get some experience Yeah exactly Ficked up that cow Changes scales slightly Yeah So that the cow could milk

for once in its damn life. I might retire. Yeah, fair enough, dude. No. Okay. That's a game. It's his house. I just like, oh, you sucks.

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Nice. Do you want me to go put on shoes? No, it's okay. You like my shoes? They're very nice.

Yeah, they are cool. You got a good outfit on today. I don't think they'd fit me. No, you can't. I've got tiny women feet. Yeah, it's okay. I got little feet. Do you reckon they'd fit me?

No. From here, I can see the very big size team. That's between feet. I went and got my like I had to get new shoes recently and I found out that like Oh let's measure your foot And they do like the thing in like athletes' foot

You don't treadmill run on or whatever Then I find out that you know One foot it's like oh yeah It's like a size 11 And so we recommend like you know For size wise you go like 11 and a half or whatever But then this piece of shit over here 9.5

That's such a stark difference Who size is crazy I always used to think it was like Oh yeah the little ones like only like maybe half a size smaller and for a while it was like within the last five years it was yeah what the fuck has happened well you're telling me that the store clerk was like freak yeah well i was joining in on that yeah i like i like to think they figured it out because when they were like can't just walk forward and back when you did a circle yeah going in the club thing yeah yeah that's interesting

what the hell happened like i yeah but honestly what the hell happened like i i don't understand pairs of shoes? No, I just like, well, one fits perfectly, the other one, no, there's good. You always got one loose shoe. A little bit. Get two pairs of shoes. That's expensive. It's expensive.

You know, uh, thongs or for any international views, hippie-blops. Yeah, yeah. What do you, how do you get around that? Oh, it's wear thongs. Yeah. One looks silly. Well, yeah, I guess. Somebody looks at your feet, they go, that's foolish.

And you go, eyes are up here, pervert. Yeah. The dogs are alone. Leave me and my freak feet alone. Unless that is what you want, then how much you... Then, yeah, Joel Zahman foot only fans? Whoa. Make a little extra scratch.

They're getting stuff for free right now. He's trying to compete with our bowl only fan. Too close as well. Just looks like the surface of the moon. Just the least tasteful photos of human scrotum you've ever seen. What I do is... I can click my toes, though, in like a... What do you mean?

I can do that too. Oh, no. See, I thought you were doing like... I can click my toes like that. I think it's like the tendon. I can. No way. No way. Okay, this is a jacking off episode, which is sad, but that's okay.

Like this? You just rub, that's not a... That's not a click. That's not a click. That's some potassium. It's a click because it's just my feet are in socks right now, so you can't hear the full click. It's not as powerful as that, but it's a click. Anyway, look, I would speak to snakes, get them in pipes, rob places.

Nice. Nice. Oh yeah, I forgot that's what we're talking about. What can a snake get? Anything that fits in its mouth, but also snakes able to fill up their belly heaps. How are you getting it out? Okay, I'll be the Anaconda. Hey, man.

I'm calling you in. Well, we're all your snakes. Yeah. Oh, no, I should not have got three snakes in at the same time because I feel like I'm going to get yelled though. Yeah, okay. What are we doing? Hey, guys. Welcome to the team. Hey.

I'm planning on doing a heist involving you guys. Okay. What do we get out of it? Yeah. I would give you, do you guys like rats? I mean, I think I like rats, buddy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you guys bigger than a rat?

Raracondas, remember? Birds? What kind of birds? I've developed a taste for human children. I too would like to try this human child. I don't know. They're bigger than, I don't know. They're bigger than a rat.

I like alligator. Yeah. Alligator We could have alligator We fuck with alligator Buffalo Yeah Well

I'm sticking to human children Okay Yeah Unfortunately the best I can do for you Is maybe Local dogs and cats But that's pretty good That's pretty good

That's pretty good Oh Can you get a peacock? I've always wanted to eat one of them Yeah Just any pat I'm good But like big

Yeah It's got to feel like Pum Yeah Do they own like kids's pets? Yeah Sometimes Can we get one of them

Yeah Can we get a child pet? The place where robbing how many human children? None. Fuck. How many pets? Hold on.

Before we... Yeah. What do you want us to do, though? Yeah, good question. Wait. What do you want to do? I just need you... I just need you head through this pipe.

And then the other side connects to a jewelry store. Eat as many rings as you can and bring them back to me. How are you getting the rings out of me? Because I've been tricked before. Yeah. It's diamonds cut. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to massage them. slowly out of you. Which way? An intimate partnership. Which way? Mouth. Mouth. Mouth.

Mouth. Would I rather throw up jewelry or shit? I've had bad time with gurgitating. Yeah. It's bad for me. Yeah. Diamonds will cut us. It actually ruins me as a snake.

Yeah, okay. Can you give me sort of a condom that I can try and hook the jewelry in? What's a condom? You know how we got two penises? Yeah. But humans only have one pathetic penis. Yeah. They're one sad penis.

Sad little penis. We're rocking two monster hogs. And you know how humans they invented this thing called common? Yeah. It's because they don't want to have babies sometimes. Freaks me out. That's weird.

We love having 10 babies. Yeah, I love having 10 babies. We love having lots and lots of children. You know, like we like getting just a big horrible pile and then that's how we upset. So if they don't want kids, they should just give them. them to us. That's what I've been saying,

dude, but no humans listen. No, we don't want them to have condoms because then we can eat the children. That's a great point. That's a good point. That's a good point. I like that this highest has somehow turns to you guys being like,

am I just eat the condoms? Yeah, might just eat the condoms. See what that does for me. Yeah. I feel sick. Well, I think we've come to inclusion, boys. Yeah. Comptoms all around.

As long as you can give us as many condoms we can eat. You're not going to like this. Okay. But I wonder, like, Yeah. Well, I like the strategy. Snake goes in the pipe, up out the toilet, slides into the jewelry store, eats a gem.

But are we assuming the toilet leads up or down? Well, that could be a problem. I'm going to donk into the toilet lid. You probably got enough power. Yeah, that's true. I do that. I go up into a human ass. I get a little radio, cat to you in a van.

That is a literal fear of mine that it's not going to come out and bite my ass. Boss? Boss, we've encountered a problem. Time to constrict. Imagine that. And then that you, sitting on the toilet, anaconda head goes up your eyes. You obviously freak out, step forward. And it's like a tail.

You're running around the bathroom trying to get the anaconda out of your asshole. Wow. It comes out your mouth. Yeah. You go, I don't know. Do I go back and forward? Back or forward. Forward.

Forward. Forward. Okay. They're just floored into the intestine. Out the mouth looking around. I'm high up. Where am I? It's like balancing

With one tail behind the The tail of the snake out the ass The head of the snake out the mouth Hey that's beautiful Boss I need some fucking instructions I'm deep in enemy territory I can't find the rings Yeah where are the fucking rings

I'm way higher than expecting Can't see the toilet anywhere I don't know what's happening Yeah How often do you think when you go to the bathroom When you shit down on the toilet How often do you actively think what if a snake bit my arms?

If I'm on a lower level. What? So if you're on the second story, you can't imagine the snake's making it that high? No, as we've proven, this role play. Yeah.

They can't go high. Like a basement toilet? If I'm in an outdoor toilet, yeah. Basement toilet, I feel like something's going to come out and bite me in the ass. Second story, we're fine.

That's really interesting. Because it can't go higher. So does that mean you purposely, like, will you avoid using ground floor toilets? No, I've got obvious. It's going to happen. Yeah, okay. You're just going to swallow the fear every time you do it.

No, I swallow my fear, but there was also a part of me being like, this could be it. This could be the last day on Earth. There was one time I went to the twilight, and I felt something touched my ass. Yeah. Uh-oh. One of my cheeks. And I'm like, what is that I needed to keep hanging? Yeah.

I get up, and then I happen to glance back because I was like, maybe I'm crazy. I just felt something. No, it was a huge huntsman. tickling my arms. Oh, pervert huntsman. I know, pervert huntsman. And I didn't know what to do. And I can't take it out of the bowl, so I flushed it.

Yeah, fair enough. I think that I would feel so bad if I was like shitting in an outhouse, like a drop toilet. And then when I got up, yeah, I looked down and I'd shout on a snake. Like, I don't feel horrible. Oh, man, I feel real bad. Because, like, I'm like, do I want to, I want to clean it, but I can't. It's down there. I'm not going down there.

I'm just flush at the clean. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I made it angry. Oh, it's pissed off. Sorry. I'm pissed off and covered in shit. Sorry shit snake. You're not flushing outhouse.

Oh, you can't. You can't flush an outhouse. No, not a drop toilet. Not a drop toilet. Not a drop toilet. Oh, go to get the hose. What fancy outhouse are you going to? Okay, so.

Yeah. Your own? I don't have an hour. Yeah, douches out. You're staying in my house currently. I'll ask you about it later, but it's a weird thorn or outside. You do have an outhouse. You've been hiding an outhouse from us.

You are a liar. I wish that was an outhouse instead. It's a shed. That's not a shodder, you say. A sauna slash outhouse slash shed. What is this weird outshed? I didn't know what it was. Yeah.

I too would have been suspicious. Is that why you peered in it? Yeah. Yeah, that's why I pissed in your shed. Yeah. No, hey, when we get back to the house, feel free to go out there and open it. It's full at all. I'm scared again.

Yeah. Don't worry about it. Because I said shed, you're scared you're going to get bitten? Fair enough. Sheds is where the spiders are out. I think it would feel horrible to have an outhouse slash soda. Like, imagine sitting in the toilet and they're just pouring water on a hot rock and it just... Yeah.

Everything you are. God damn, dude. Yeah, like, shitting when it's 40 degrees. Yeah. It's bad. It's bad news. And then add, like, that level of steam. Yeah.

Is it a dry sauna? Outhouses are plumbed. Yeah, some are. Yeah. The dister. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

You are the best guess we've ever had. You're yelling at me that outhouses don't flush. Yeah. They do. Some do. Some do. Drop-duny. Yeah, no, I agree.

Drop-toil don't. I'm with you. Some do, some do, some do. Drop-tholns. Big hole. Some of them, does this count as flushing? If you ever use a, like a donnie or an out-house where you have a bucket of water. No, I won't go outside.

That's not for you? No. Why not? Come on. Okay. What about sword? Do you ever use a sawdust toilet? Yeah, you're going to sawdust toilets.

Jackson, before you're up in mouth again, grow up. Think about who I am. Okay. Look at me. That's my bad. I have silver tigers on. Am I going into the wilderness? You're right.

You're right. Thank you. That's on me. So anti-camping? Yeah. Pro glamping? If I'm last. Yeah, okay.

Fair enough. If it has to happen, you better glamp. Any someone who's a drop toilet or use sword dust or whatever, I'm doing something fun with my friends. I recommend it, Chloe. I'm scared I'm going to fall in for use a drop toilet. I'm at the pub? Yeah, just with plumbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's this show. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're doing it right now. No, I know. I'm just checking him on the right show.

Yeah, you're nailing it. Don't worry. You're all good. You're all good. Is there another way you could use the snakes to rob people? Could you instead? What about? Bite the elderly?

Do you steal their handbags? Okay. Hold on. Biting the elderly. Just let a bunch of anacondas loose. Let him go down. Like, hey, if you see anyone that looks wrinkly, just give him a bite. Yeah.

But how are you making money? I'll take their hand back. Yeah. Or he's doing your... Oh, so my Melbourne cop robbery, too outrageous. No, we never said that. We didn't say that at all. Now, that's a vibe.

We were just clarifying. Yeah. Okay. You started a horse you... A horse toopia. No, it was like a horse militia. Yeah. Yeah.

And remember, it's financial profit or personal gain. So if he just wants to see a lot of all people get it. I'll take it back. I'll take it back. And this was both. Yeah, exactly. Okay. I was saying.

And rather than maybe not to, like, you know, shift focus, but you did say rats before. Yeah. And rats can also fit through pipes. That's true. And with Dr. Doolittle, you can also talk to rats. Yeah. Why he's just talk to, like, 50 rats?

And what do you can talk to all of it? I just stick my head in the sewer. I go, hey, guys, it's time. Right. Get together. We're biting the elderly. I'm taking the handbags. You could start the Black Plague again.

That's true. Well, Black Plague, too. I love the idea of arriving at an old folks home, and they have to tell me that my grandpa was eaten by Nana God. I go, hey, where's grandpa? And they go, are you missed Jackson Bailey? Yes. Oh, come into this room.

Take a seat. We've had a couple of anaconda problems. What do you mean? Yeah, what are you talking about in the old folks home? And your grandpa, unfortunately, was a victim of that. Did you get bitten? Is he all right? And they go, we can show him to you because we got the anaconda.

He's just got a big grandpa side swam. Can you say anaconda problem? What do you mean? I need you to clarify. Grandpa? Hello, Jackson. Oh, my God. He's alive in there.

Killianiconda. Get a knife. Yeah, let's get him out. We determine that's animal cruelty. We can't be that. What are you going to wait for him to digest? That's my fucking grandpa. I don't know why I sound like this, but this is my old man voice.

I'm being digested by the Anaconda. Yeah, I'm aware, grandpa. We've called Steve Irwin to come help. I guess I got some bad news. Really, really bad news. We're going to be waiting a while. No, no, no. I've called him.

He's fine. He's gone the way. Do you mean? Wait, he picked up. The representative of Steve Irwin Oh, okay Yeah, yeah, he's on the way Okay

What's he gonna do? Scam Yeah, but he means being skin No, you're being scared Why am I being skin? Um, so wild Yeah Steve Irwin-Dard

I don't know if we need to We're on a time on a minute My grandpa's being digested Yeah What do you mean Steve Irwin's He was filming He was filming a documentary He's burning

There's acid in there Yeah And like a sting rate like a freak accent. Anyway, how are you, Jackson? Nice for going to visit me. Yeah, it's really sad. It's honestly not that much different

from the nursing home. No one's coming out. I think he's just gone on. Yeah. So should we stab the grandpa or the anaconda? Don't stab the grandpa. What? As told by my...

Who else has entered the Roob Jackson? No, it's two people who run the old folks home here. They had to learn that Steve Owen died, which was a shock to one of them. Oh, he what? Oh, dude. Oh, dude. So, like, no, he's getting digested.

He's sad now. I know. Hey, yeah, so a couple years ago, so Steve Owen. Don't cut me out. I don't want to live it alone. No, no, grandpa, you want to learn. He's learning about it. No, no.

You've made my grandpa suicidal in the snake. Well, like, you know, he just learned out, Steve O' mean, it was sad. I guess I've got to figure this out myself, and then I'm going to pick up the out of context and put it in my car. Take it home and be like, you want to use the knife? I'll take the knife, too, because that's part of the puzzle. How do I get gromboff? But the answer is inside the knife.

You can't use it. Oh, fuck. So I got one knife in front of him. I love the idea of being like, all right. And just stabbing the an anaconda killing my grandpa. Okay, and I'm just going to... Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

You're right, Grandpa? Oh, fuck. The anaconda will be bleeding like the anaconda blood and the grandparent blood. Let me just try again. Oh, God. Oh, I'm dying the same way, Steve Owen is. This is not how he dies.

Not quite, sir. The people from the old phone's home came with me. It was a stingray. This is your grandson stabbing you. For your money, I presume. He's a horrible, horrible little boy. Just being like, and they're just trying to gut the snake and just gutting grandpa. All of his human guts coming out.

We did it. We saved Grandpa. Well, we'll say the Anaconda got him. And so what personal best. benefit the Duke game for the Doctor Duke. I killed my grandpa inside a snake. That was awesome. Knock, knock, knock. I'm your grandpa's lawyer.

Oh, fuck, dude. I'm going to court. I'm going to a snake court. Actually, upon his death, here is his will. And he's left you with nothing. Fuck. It's like he knew. In the event that my grandson got me like a snake.

I'm in a snake. Yeah, and actually on the likelihood of everything happening, that was quite high. Yeah. Yeah. Natural death. Did he change the will when he knew that the old folks home was infested without a cost? No, no, no, this was written when you were born. Oh, my God.

As he's half devoured by a snake, he's, give me a pen and don't. I need to rewrite my will. I know what my grindsons are going to try and do, and it won't work. And I need a witness right now. Well, that is a risk, I suppose. So, my plan doesn't end well. we ended with a dead grandpa. My plan doesn't end well.

I get yelled out by the zoo and the panda. My plan ends up great. You kill a cow and breastfeed a cat. I'm not talking about my militia. Oh yeah, that works out well. Oh, wait, no, that's your plan. Well, yeah, my plan got stolen from me. And the horses that I wanted to make a sweet gambling little side hustle

ended up rising up against everyone. And there I am sitting there being like, oh, they're immortal somehow. And I'm so scared. It was step one. Oh, no, step one. I love the interview at either end of, like, you know, the horses were in, like, the stables before they race out. And it's like, you've decided together we're going to, like, you know, rig the race. You're up one end being like, yeah, rigged the race and close up the other end being like, kill the wall.

And then you're both standing in the stands holding your tickets and the horses rush off and they're just turned into the ground. Wait, Chloe, what did you tell them? Then it's like, what was happening? I'm like, I've done it. I've done it. It's finally time. Immortal horses. Well, the horses are immortal, first of all.

Write that down in your little book. So between the... Hercules, hope you, please. Wrong movie. Hey, good reference. Yeah. Damny god horses. Yeah.

So between a dead grandpa, breastfeeding a cow, getting yelled at work. Honestly, I got probably... Well, the horse, it's opier, I think, tactically wins. I would say so.

Only because, if you remember, the very... Chloe's very simple four-step plan. Step one, immortal horses. Yeah. Step two, immortal dogs. Step three, immortal loss. Step four.

Money. Money. But the breastfeeding cow, or the cow that got breastfed, that would change that farmer's life. And the farmer for that would be like, I'm retiring, which is personal gain to get out of that.

But how's he retiring? Because he saw something horrific and went, not for me. He learned something about his cows that he shouldn't have learned. And then they would have left, so that's again. I think all of them are basically

like personal gain at least. I got to kill a grandpa. You got to kill a grandpa. The grandpa got the sweet release of death after finding out that Steve Irwin died. And Jackson's got a contract for panda fucking. Yeah. Honestly, mine's, I got a future career.

A lucrative, I guess because a lot of his volunteer basis. Has it all been bad, really? No. You've saved pandas. I'm saving lives. You've saved pandas. You're saving farmers, one breastfeeding cow at a time. Exactly.

You're killing grandpas. You're killing grandpas, but that's lovely. And you don't have an idea. I took it. And I'm watching all my gambling problems go away because we're immortal now and I'm scared. As you watch a horse eat a man's head and go, well, I guess my death doesn't matter so much anymore. I didn't tell the horse to eat my bookie. Yeah, I guess I'm kind of, it's wiped clean, right? We're good now. Look, it's all benefits. It's all good. It's all good is what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So much personal gain and all profits, all I'm saying.

And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. So I'm Binojow? Hi, I'm Chloe. And Chloe, thank you so much for joining us and being the best guest. Yeah, I'm going to hold that title forever. You should. I'll never come back on. I'll do a Seinfeld. How is that a Seinfeld? I don't know.

You mean Seinfeld where he's got the race? Have you not watched a TV show before? What? Okay, best guess confirmed. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know what? Seinfeld runs the race like ages ago.

Yes, exactly. Superman. On their lowest length. No, not lowest lane, but whatever. The Superman episode. Thank you very much. And then he's like, I'll live a race again. I'll ever come on the podcast again.

Yeah, exactly. But likely I have type 2 liabilities and we'll come back on a few one minute back to you. And we will. Yeah, we will. But Chloe, if everyone wants to say thank you for being the best guest and giving us, quote, unquote, the business. Yeah. Where can people find you and what should they do? Wow.

I'm on social media, including Instagram. My name's Chloe Appleby underscore underscore. You can give me a little follow. Do it. Get on it. You can do that, but you should. I should do that. I'd appreciate it.

You simply must. I'm also on TikTok with fuck all followers. But that's okay. Chloe Yap will be because I don't shut up. It's a good name. It's a really good name. Polkoly there too. Yeah.

Oh my God. My Digimon's pissed off for some reason. Wrap up the episode. Feeding it. All right. See you next week. And of course, if you want to support, goodbye.

If you want help support us, you could just simply sign up to the Bad Bragg Boys Plus either on Apple, right there, a podcast, hit that, hit that subscribe to the world, just got our website satsrady.com. Oh, there will see you in the future. See it. God, there was so much shit. What happened to it? He was just... Covered in shit?

Covered in human shit. Damn, man. Bye. Shit on the didger man. See ya. Pee, peep, pee, pee.