Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Use Flubber To Cheat?

Episode Date: March 10, 2024

It's 1997, a wacky and mad mannered scientist has created some kind of hilarious and maybe sentient goo! This goo is dubbed flying flubber by another of this scientists creation, a robot called Weebo. We do not go into the implications of that robot, the fact that it can love or that it kinda gave birth. That's not the purview of this episode. What is the purview is that this mad scientist uses flubber to help a basketball team cheat at basketball and we want to know what else we can use flubber to cheat with! From a terrible day at the races to a terrible day for one pizza delivery man, the worst brains in podcasting attempt to use this incredible scientific discovery to cheat their way to the top.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. You're listening to the Sandspats Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a pop culture comedy podcast that asks the important questions like, how would you use Flubber to cheat?

Flubber, everybody knows it. Robin Williams, he makes it in a lab. Yeah. Oratory. At what? A lab oratory. It's a green goo with many beautiful properties. Yeah.

Mostly bouncy. It is. Well, yeah, that's kind of the primary property. It's incredibly bouncy. It will take whatever momentum you put into it and then bounce it back. So if you punch the flubber, you're going to fling your arm back and pop it out of its socket.

That's so good. Does that happen? People get fucked up in the flubber movie. Somebody gets hit in the head with a bowling ball twice. Same guy twice? Same instances? Bang, bounce, bang again so here's what happens

Robin Williams is figuring out the flubber technology Robin Williams gets hit in the brain twice the bowling ball Robin Williams is

okay from the flubber well he does get injured but anyway the two goons there are goons the two goons they are

watching Robin Williams because they wish to steal the flubber Robin Williams is testing out because he makes the flubber. Yeah. Rob Williams is testing out because he makes the flubber into a gel and he rubs it on

a first simple golf ball and then it goes fucking flying. Oh yeah, because it's got infinite momentum and whatever.

Yeah, exactly. It doesn't stop, yeah. And then it goes outside and dunk, hits one of the guys in the forehead. I've full on smacked myself in the head.

Yeah, and you've also said in the stories this one guy gets hit with a bowling ball twice but he also gets hit with a golf ball? No, there's two goons. Oh, okay, so one, this one guy gets hit with a bowling ball twice, but he also gets hit with a golf ball? No, there's two goons.

Oh, okay. So one gets hit with a golf ball, and then to escalate the gag, Robin Williams is like, now to try with a bowling ball. And the same thing happens to the other goon. But then because they've got infinite momentum, they bounce on the ground and fly really high up in the sky.

Like really, really high. And then there's a scene. They've got quite nasty bruises. They don't look like cartoon bruises. They're really quite gross. And then he looks up, and then a bowling ball hits him on the head. Same scene?

Same scene. But instead of it crushing his skull, like, if you dropped a bowling ball at a guy's head... It would replace the guy's head with the bowling ball. He would turn around and be like, am I okay? And he would have a bowling ball. Head through his neck, replaced with a bowling ball. Head through his neck

replaced with a bowling ball. He would go through his neck and out his gooch. If a bowling ball went down. Am I okay? But his head split in half. No! Dude, you're sick! Let me just see if I can... Oh my god, it worked! You're all good, thank god!

And then you turn to your other friend and go, he's not gonna to make it. This motherfucker's dead. He's the deadest motherfuckie you've ever seen in your life. He's fucking dead, and when he realizes he's fucking dead, it's game over for me and you, pal. What are you saying over there? Nothing!

Dude, we're just saying how cool you look. Are you saying I'm dead? No! Fuck! Figured it out. We're going to be in the slammer for a long time. Do you know how many years you get for malpractice these days? Are we doctors?

Well, I just did surgery. With a bowling ball? I reversed the... Hi, Jackson. Thanks so much for coming in for the operation. Let me just grab my tools. What? We're just going to put the anesthetic right here.

Don't worry about it. Good night. Is that because you're going bowling after this surgery? Yeah. Yeah, sure, kid. Whatever you want to believe. And they roll the bowling ball up my gooch. They go in the opposite direction.

Yeah, clean your brain out. So, yeah, it's got that property. It can also, this is only used once in the movie, but it can transform into different shapes. Okay. Oh yeah, does it become a sexy lady or something? Does it dance? It does become an arse at one point.

That's what I'm thinking of. Yes! So it's bouncing around the neighborhood and it goes behind. Does it do a fart or does it do a dance? No. Those are the two things an arse can do. Do a little wiggle. That's a dance.

That's a dance. You're right. The camera's following Flubber as it zooms around the neighborhood. Flubber can fly for this part of the movie. Flubber zooms into a house, and we follow with the camera a lady's bountiful bottom. As it goes from side to side, and then Flubber imitates it, and then becomes a boy. But Flubber also has an arse, because he's a little guy. What is it Flubber ate? Does Flubber imitates it and then becomes a ball again. But Flubber also has an arse because he's a little guy. What does Flubber eat?

Does Flubber fart? Nobody farts. No one farts at Flubber? No one farts at Flubber. I would have put my life savings on the fact that there's at least one fart in Flubber. Flubber makes fart sounds with its... Well, it doesn't have a mouth,

but it does make fart sounds. It's got an arse but no mouth. It's got like a... You know what? You know what? That is not the purview of today's question. I have an arse but no mouth, You know what? You know what? That is not the purview of today's question. I have an ass but no mouth, yet I must scream. I have an ass but no mouth.

I fart but have no hole. What am I? Flubber, bitch. Easy. Next question. This troll under the bridge is going to be pissed off. That's a hard one. Fuck, dude.

I thought Flubber would stump you. Alright, go across the goddamn bridge. You've worked my life, you know. I'm 200 years old and loved by a family. Flubber! By Centennial Man! I got us a pick and roll in one of your movies.

Even the ones people hate, they seem to know. I'm an annoying doctor. My ass is out. Wears a big red nose. Watch out! God damn it. God damn it. Flubber, I don't think, has any other abilities other than that.

He's bouncy. That's the main one. Yeah, sweet. All right, well, it's bouncy. And in the movie, look, Jackson's seen it recently. I've seen it a lot in the late 90s, which was 25 years ago. Yeah. I remember that in this, Robert Williams uses Flubber somehow to cheat at basketball.

I don't think he's playing in the basketball team, but he... He puts him on shoes and makes him bounce. Makes the kids bounce. And dunk from half court. Half court. Space Jam style. The kids are in the fucking sky, and somebody's like, are you going to say something about this?

And the coach is like, brother, there's no rule that says they can't jump too high. Here's the thing about basketball. Jumping that high wouldn't make you better at it. It would make it harder. Yeah, oh, absolutely. There's one point. I don't know. Do you think in a game of basketball they would let this happen?

So one of the boys, the basketball boys, he jumps so high, and then holding the basketball, he goes through the net. Like, he dives through the net. Would that be allowed? I think you'd have to, yeah. I just don't think in the history of, say, the NBA that this ever happened. But I feel if you were, say, you had the ball,

and then, say, someone... The Harlem Globetrotters probably do that. Yeah, like maybe a little guy then clung to the ball and wrapped himself around it, and you could pick up the ball with the little guy and you could dunk that, and I think that would count. So you're imagining in this scenario, this basketball team with a little guy and you could dunk that, and I think that would count. So you're imagining in this scenario this basketball team has a little guy for this purpose exactly?

I was imagining that that was the opposition, and they were trying to block it or defend, and he wrapped himself around said ball, but then somehow he managed to finagle the guy in a way that he could dunk him. I think that would score. But a little guy's touching the ball. He was the last guy to touch the ball before it went through the hoop. It's not fucking AFL rules.

It doesn't matter who touched the ball before it goes in the hole. I'm high. I'm bad at basketball. I forget which hoop is ours. And I shoot it in the other direction. And I score. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, it's like soccer rules.

Okay. Where it's the goal. It doesn't matter who kicked it. People are booing. I don't know why. I don't know why I'm here. Yeah, I scored a three-pointer. You're just happy you got the ball in the hole.

Yeah. Does it also count as in behind the three-point line? Because technically, I shot from well and truly behind my three-point line. I'm pretty sure once I got into that net. Yeah. No, it would still be two. from well and truly behind my three point line. I'm pretty sure once again I got into that net. Yeah. No, it would still be two. They should put just like a bunch of nets around

and like half of them belong to one team and half belong to the other. There you have it, yes. It's like a many net game. Why? Because it's like part of it. It's like a memory thing there.

You've got to remember which nets are yours. Is there still one ball? Yeah. Yeah. But then a multi-ball can't happen. Like in pinball. Yeah, I figured.

What other thing could I be thinking of when you say multi-ball? Like a surgery you get? What surgery? When your doctor pulls out two bowling balls. Like if you wanted a third nut. You'd have to grow them. I mean, you can put three or four as a grown-up. I mean, you can put a goat testicle in, sure. I don't think they call that a multi-ball.

No, they call that a scam. So when you had Jackson, you famously have a testicular replacement nut. Yes. Could you have had the option to get a multi-ball? Well, I didn't ask. Why not? Well, I didn't ask. Why not? Well, I didn't think of it at the time. Because when I said, what could I be thinking of except for pinball,

when you said multi-ball, you said a multi-ball operation. Well, nobody was talking, if you'd been there, when they said, Jackson, we're going to give you a replacement ball, and you leaned over to me and said, Jackson, what else could multi-ball mean? I would have been like, oh, doctor, can I get actually four or five? Can they put four or five and make them little? Yeah, can I get four or five, like a bunch of grapes in my testicles? Yeah.

Can you make my nutsack feel kind of like a bag of marbles? Yeah. Yeah, and I want it to be, to clack. Yeah. That's one thing the testicles don't have, that they should have a clack. Oh, yeah. Clack and nuts. Either a bunch of marbles or a bunch of pennies.

Yeah. There's little pendulum things like you see. Oh, yeah. A huge cradle. Yeah. I think what would be great about a bunch of pennies is as I walked around, people would think I was rich. No. If you hear change in someone's pockets, you think, wow, here comes Mr. Big Rich Man.

Look at this billionaire over here. If you've got a big sack with an S, like a dollar sign on it, and you're shaking it, yeah, sure. I get a tattoo on my nuts of a dollar sign. Then maybe I get it filled with paper money so that it swishes as I walk. What? How would paper money swish how would anyone know it's very dry

it's not meant to be that dry in your nutsack well I guess he's putting paper there might be medical problems what paper money so is this the sound you imagine when you think of notes we have plastic well I'm getting American dollars Benjamins We have plastic I'm getting American dolls

Benjamins I don't think that they Nuts full of Benjamins How would you know I'm so rich I'm just gonna nut A sack full of Benjamins My nuts

How would you know Like the surgical He's telling people Don't worry I've put like Big fat stacks of Benjamins In there Like thanks doctor And then one day You get there with a Stanley knife And cut yourself open To have a look He's telling people about the sounds of things. Don't worry, I've put big fat stacks of Benjamins in there. Like, thanks, doctor.

And then one day you get there with a Stanley knife and cut yourself open to have a look. He just wanted a bit of paper. It's just rag. Son of a bitch. One day I'm stranded in a country with no money. I'm stranded in America. I think, thank God I got my emergency nutsack full of Benjamins.

I slice open my nutsack. It's just cloth. Scrap cloth. Surely. Malpractice. If you want cloth. Yeah. Scrap cloth. Surely. Malpractice. If you want, you know, somehow install a coin purse. Yeah.

And then I can clip it open. Yeah, you could like put something in there, maybe a bit of leather. Yeah. And then a zip. I could have done plenty with my nuts that I did.

Yeah, instead you just got one fake nut. Yeah, I really fucked it up. Yeah, dude, you fucked it up so badly. I fucked it up so badly. I'm so embarrassed. Anyway, I'm using

flubber to cheat at the track horse racing. Elaborate. Okay, so. Tell me badly. I fucked it up so badly. I'm so embarrassed. Anyway, I'm using flubber to cheat at the track. Horse racing. Elaborate. Okay, so. Tell me how. There's two things about this. One, horse racing or rafing, as I kept trying to say there. I imagine, like, what, the horses are dead?

Ah, the horse race! Unethical. Very. Even though some horses do just want to run And we should let them It often results in permanent damage of horses And us just shooting an innocent animal That's why the racetrack is a very haunted area

And I guess horse racing Is very correct Good joke, scathing commentary By one Joseph Adusha Yeah, that's it So, unethical Horses Joseph Adusha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah, so unethical. Okay. Horses can get hurt and die.

Sure. But, too, very easy to bet on. In fact, that's the whole thing. Do it on your phone. Do it on your phone. Sportsbet.com. What are you? Sportsbet.com, search horses.

Yeah, I think so. Sports bet I associate with sports. Horse racing's a sport. You can go speak to the bookie. Be like, hey! And you can ask for a money loan so that they kill you or something if you lose the race. Yeah, every film that I've seen where they go for those loan sharks. Yeah, loan sharks. Always good.

I really like to show that you get killed by the bookie. Going to be like, hey, what's the worst? Ten million dollars. No, he's doing suicide by bookie. Okay, so what are you doing to the horses with the flubber? Basically, I'm doing the same thing as the basketball. So, tax. In its little horseshoes.

Okay. And then it will bounce, but it won't have any physical strain on the horse. So, here's... Okay. And it could go over because there's no rule. Or is there a rule? So I think a problem you're going to encounter. So in the movie, the kids, when they bounce up, they land on their feet again.

Yeah. But I'm assuming that's because a human has the coordination to be like, I better land on my feet. Horses will land on their feet. They jump. Also, Robin Williams, I'm sure, does he tell the kids what he's doing? No. Okay.

Never mind then. Because I was going to say, at least as a human with the human brain and thoughts of a horse, I'm going to be like, oh, right, there's something. I can bounce with this. Cool. I'm figuring this out. A horse with horse thoughts is going to take one big leap forward.

A lot of momentum on like a horse stomp. Yeah. Is that faster than running? That's a real question. So when the people bounce, they do like one jump. Yeah. But a horse gallops by slamming. The first hoof down goes flying.

You make the horse flip. That horse says no leg. And then maybe with the momentum, I'm just thinking of a horse, bang, as it puts its foot down, and then it sort of spins sideways. It corkscrews. It corkscrews up, maybe into the grandstands. Into the crowd. Now, how heavy is a horse?

stands. Now, how heavy is a horse? If a horse with the horse moving at the same momentum of the horse striking the ground, it's a lad. I just love douche. Am I alive?

If I'm there with my cards, I put so much money on the cards and I see a horse You get your eyes down on the cards, it's shocking. And I see a horse. You get your eyes down on the cards, you look at your odds or whatever, you hear, boo!

You're like, what's that? You look up at the horse. It's just coursing towards me. I could body that, yeah. Collected by the side of a horse. Pulled me to the stands. Dead. Yeah, dead.

Deceased. Obliterated by horse flesh! Okay, well maybe I can use this as a PSA against horse racing. I'm cheating my way into, um, political movements. Okay, so you're still killing the horse? Are you saying that this is a result of horse racing? Yes. The horse got so good at horse racing. Well, because we clearly don't care about

the lives of horses. Okay. So by not caring about the lives of horses, to prove that horse racing is bad, you're going to kill a horse. Yes.

Okay. But also a guy, I guess. Yeah. What about the jockey? Or it's you, but in a full cast. Being like, see what happens, dude?

Horse racing is bad. A freak accident kills multiple people. A freak accident? I guess, how else are you going to describe it? It was truly a freak accident at the track. Yeah, when magic happened and a horse's leg blew off. Into the stands, killing three onlookers. Then I'll be like, we've got to ban horse racing.

Get me into government. It's a political move. It's a political step. Okay. So does the flubber ever lose sort of its buoyancy? After a long... How many bounces? Because I'm like, how many times?

Did you put it on all four of its legs? Yeah. Okay. So I'm just, as it sort of like once strikes, and then it's just going everywhere. Then it's like, as it's flailing around. Now, I don't think a horse is a still creature. No.

Especially when it's like bouncing around. Like when it's flailing around. That horse is bouncing around like a fucking bouncy ball Just so it's legs When the flubber wears off You're getting a horse torso And nothing else And those legs are gonna

Go and do some damage To the rest of the It's a bouncing horse leg It's a lot of horse And then you're like This would never have happened If we didn't race horses And we'll be like

I don't know what made this happen. I think there was a bomb in the horse. I don't know what's happening. I didn't hear an explosion, but that was bliss. Someone put a bomb in that horse. A national tragedy down at Flemington Racecourse today when a bomb was placed inside a horse. We think. We couldn't find the bomb when we looked inside, but shortly. at Flemington Racecourse today when a bomb was placed inside a horse. We think. I don't know.

We couldn't find the bomb when we looked inside, but surely. We've got a lot of the footage here. Viewers at home, you can watch it at... Viewer discretion advised. What we're about to show you is deeply disturbing. And confusing. Deeply disturbing and confusing. We do not know why.

We need to stress that this is not CGI. There is multiple camera angles. Stop the race so we can check the other horses. Say no to the cup because it could kill you. Yeah, if you at home can figure this out, please let us know. Some of our top minds are confused. I, yeah. Do you reckon that would stop horse racing?

I think it would stop that race. I think it would stop that race. When you say, hey, you know how sometimes like a NASCAR car will crash into the crowd? That happened with a horse. That's time out on the race. Actually, that's true. It does happen at NASCAR a bit and they keep doing it. Yeah, but it's not.

This has never happened to a horse before. Cars are not designed to crash, but they can crash. Yeah. A horse isn't designed what what would you think it happened because my thought then sorry no please i think bombing the horse is probably but so the tacks on their shoes now they they when when are you putting it on them because they gotta walk to well okay little they gotta walk that little stall thing they gotta be in that little stall thing and they're like stomping around.

Boing! Just shooting out the roof of the stable. Just this like red mist just comes out of the starting gates. It doesn't go out

of the... It doesn't burst out of the top. It just cracks its neck on the ceiling and then they're like, go! And all the horses run out except that one.

It's a flopped horse. It's a feet hit the... Bo, it's a feet, hit the bang, bang, bang. You're looking at your ticket being like, I don't think I'm going to make any money off this because it's dead. I don't think this is going to change the world either. How in the game of basketball?

In the movie, there's a half an hour time period before the tax come into effect. When you put the tax on, you put the shoes on, and then you start gingerly walking towards it, how is it not being activated? Well, it's just a time limit before flubber works. Well, so with the basketballers, they put them on tacks under paint,

and I think the idea is that the paint wears away. The paint wears away. But there's also a scene earlier where Robin Williams puts just a bit on one leg, but he doesn't do it on the other, and his legs are going up and down. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So I guess what you've got to do is you puts just a bit on one leg, but he doesn't do it on the other, and he's like going up and down. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So I guess what you've got to do is you've got to put on the horses, like the shoes, and you've got to paint it,

which would be very funny as they all get worn off very differently. And you've got a bit of momentum as well. Oh, no. Because then it would propel itself forward. He's just like mid-gallop, it wears off, and then off it goes! It doesn't count if a horse wins the race. No, because the track they run around is an oval. It's just going off.

Into the crowd! There's a straight, yeah. So you've got to do that, the shorter race is there, you've got to time it so it wears off at that point, so you've got to be with R&D. But also, I think you've got to smear. There's shorter races there. You've got to time it so it wears off at that point. So you've got to do it with R&D. But also, I think you've got to smear some flubber on its face and its rump so that if it does go arse over the edge, it can burn.

Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. I don't know if a horse dies but wins the race if it still counts. I guess I will have to try it in a way where I do put money on it just in case it does count if a dead horse wins. But then I will also use it as a political movement. That's awesome when they're like, the horse that is sort of like the cornerstone of your campaign, is that the horse you bet on?

Yeah. Didn't even win. It died and now I'm pissed off. I think all of this is bad. You covered both places. Yeah, exactly. I think all the racing is bad. You covered both places. Yeah, exactly. I think all the racing is bad. It's destroyed my life.

You're talking to me about it. I think it would be really dangerous to put the flubber on the horse's face for anybody who pats the horse. Boing! Slaps them straight back in the face. What's wrong with this horse? But yeah, I didn't think about the fact that if it's on a straight and it activates

and it propels it forward, yes, it will make it win. Or at least finish farther than it would have. But if it does, yeah, the corners, yeah. And also,

I just think if it's bouncing, it's bouncing so chaotically, the horse is just going. Yeah. To heaven. Maybe you could do a thing where you do a whole horse dip. You know, like they do a tick dip where they, like, dunk it in water.

Yeah. Dunk it in flubber so it's just flubbered everywhere. Yeah. Oh, but then when the jockey hops on. Jockey bounces straight off. So when it's, like, momentum, right? It's infinite momentum or whatever like that. Surely that's fucking up the horse's organs.

Because if it's moving, right, it's like momentum is going, like, one way. So everything's going one way. Then it hits its back, moving right it's like does anyone do it some is going like one way so everything Oh, yeah, then it hits its back, and then it's going another way basically you've turned this horse into a pinball. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I don't know how good that I think when you open up the horse you say you could tap the horse Yeah, a barrel. Yeah, you're just getting a pink Slurry Skeleton Yeah, you've slurried its horns. And skeleton. You have a floppy horse, I think. You're like intact horse skin.

What if you did it to the other horses? Yeah. Then your horse wins the race and they just fly around like crazy. And die. Yeah. Because if a horse dies but makes it over to the finish line, unclear. If every other horse dies but that horse, the living horse, makes it over to the finish line. Unclear. If every other horse dies, but that horse, the living horse, makes it over to the finish line,

you probably do it. If a horse does die in a race, they usually do still finish the race. Yeah, but if every other horse died, and the one horse survived. And I had lots of money on the horse. Do you reckon that that would look suspicious? I think that looks a little sus. Say, for example, you poisoned every other horse,

except for one. Everyone would be like, clearly there's something going on here. But because the horses have died in such a unique and unprecedented way, could they really die back to you? But if you have flubbed all the other horses, there is no guarantee that those horses won't bounce into your horse. That's true. You've created what was already a chaotic environment,

even more chaotic by introducing more bouncing horses. What if I keep doing it as a political campaign? Keep sneaking into the stable, flubbering every horse. So maybe 40 horses have to die, but then no more die ever again. Okay, so you end racing because people are like, we think it's making the horses a very unique kind of sick. Where they're bouncing all fucked up. Yeah.

And careening into the crowd. How many deaths at a horse racing stadium before they would put a pin in it? Well, let's find out how many horse racing deaths there's been in Australia this year. Because I think the answer is way higher than we'll expect. I'm just trying to think. Because what you'd do. So, for example, let's say this crazy plan works. Where you are flubbering all these horses to death. And then coming out, hopefully anonymously, so that you don't get your own death threats.

So you could be like, okay, cool. Are you admitting to flubbering them? Or are you just saying, like, it's really bad that horse racing has taken a turn? We don't know why the horses are doing this. Well, yeah, because then the Horse Race Association, they could just be like, well, we try to minimize the death. They could just PR this so that you are the villain, right? Absolutely. Because, well, you are killing a lot of horses. You are the villain.

They can PR this to just be like, right, so we try our best to minimize the amount of deaths in horse racing. We love our horse. We care for them. We bring in a lot of money and jobs racing. We love our horse, we care for them, we bring in a lot of money and jobs and blah blah blah blah blah for the community, for the country, etc. And one maniac is dipping horses in flubber, causing the unnecessary deaths of all these horses and the jockeys and the members of the crowd. Plus, also, surely, if all these horses are dying so mysteriously,

there will be cameras set up that will catch you with your little double flubber painting the horses. There's been 168 deaths in horse racing

in Australia in the last 12 months. Okay. I found that information out and saw a lot of dead horses. Okay. A hundred and...

No! A hundred and seventy? Yeah, a hundred and seventy. Okay. So if I kill 40... In the space of, like, a month, you're killing 40. Yeah. I mean, I think, well, there'd be a shutdown,

there'd be an investigation, and they'd be like, what's happening? Why are the horses doing this? Can we replicate this? They're not just dying. They're being like flung around. They're ragdolling across the race course. Is there bombs in our horses?

I don't know what you do as a member of the public, as a horse owner. What if I got up in front of Parliament and I said, this is a message from God, clearly. Horse racing has to stop. Vote one, Joel. Okay. Is that the main sort of point of your political... I guess if I'm using flubber, I could probably use it to somehow gain political advantage elsewhere.

Okay, so how are you going to cheat on an election using flubbers? Okay. How are you going to stop the steal with flubber? If you flubber up your opponent, he bounces away. I flubber up the podium in the debate so that when he steps on it, he goes flying. That's a good way to get rid of your political opponents. But if it keeps happening, I think...

What if you do... Okay, so you do this in a very religious country. So maybe you're in America or something. Yeah, in the Bible Belt. You're in the Bible Belt. You have a crucifix that you've flubbered. I've flubbered the crucifix? You've flubbered the thing Christ died on.

The thing Christ died on. A cross? Yeah. I think it's only a crucifix if he's on it. Okay. He's on it. Yeah, that's true. No, no.

So you've got a little cross. Yep. You say, my opponent is so full of the devil, he cannot touch the cross. Then you smack him with the cross, which has been flubberized. He goes flying away. I also go flying because I'm holding it no no no you don't

he doesn't it goes flying my planet is so full of devil he can't even possibly repel the boom boom boom boom it smacks him it smacks you

it smacks him it smacks you the crowd just looking at him watching as two men's faces just caved in. Slowly concussed more and more.

Eyes crossed. It literally would burst through our head. Cracking their skulls like an egg. You might lose your hand with enough momentum. Your hand falls out and the cross is just going between. Eventually you would find out who had the weakest skull. But you both have a bit of ABI, I feel. A bit?

This is sad. I reckon this is literally caving in ahead. Yeah, yeah. The person who was meant to be moderating the debate is like, well, thank you everybody for coming. Today we have seen whatever the opposite of a miracle is. President Dan. Yeah, is it still ABI if your brain is mush?

If your brain is on the outside, I don't think it's an injury. Is it still a miracle if it's bad? I mean, in a way. For your entire political career to be summed up by your cape that had the crucifix embedded in your brain. Wow. I guess he was the same. They were both the same.

Neither one was favored by God. God wants them dead. Maybe politicians are scum. Is that what's happening here? I've overthrown the government. I've sacrificed my life. If both political candidates in a two-party system

die before the election, I guess that's the vice president step up. What happened? Footage of that. What? What? What? I guess we're voting independent.

Okay. Interesting choices. Okay, okay. So I don't think I've stolen the election. I don't think I've fixed horse racing Nor have I won money on the track So I was going to cheat And maybe A bit smaller scale

Than say horse racing So I was going to try and cheat at lawn bowls And try and beat Say Older people at A beautiful game of lawn bowls I was going to basicallyubberize the balls? I was going to basically

Mick Malloy crackerjack this. I went to you've come to the right place because a couple of weeks ago I went to the Australian National

Lawn Balls Tournament. Perfect. Beautiful. So first of all it is the competitors are older but not as old

as you'd think. Well I was maybe doing it on an amateur circuit. Yeah. Or just at a local bowls club. And I figured what I was going to do is flubberize their balls. Okay. So when they roll it, thinking they're going to be a perfect roll, it's going to go haywire and go everywhere.

And I'm going to be close enough to the jack. The jack. The jack. Yeah, okay. I'm the does Flubber- And I'm going to be close enough to the- If you rolled- Whatever it's called. The Jack. The Jack. Yeah, okay. I'm the resident Flubber expert. What do you need to know? I'm Johnny Flubber.

Flubber only work if it bounces, or could you roll it and it rolls forever? I think what would happen- So you would have to be very careful. Oh, yeah. Because if they rolled it- Yeah. And didn't have it smoothly leave their hand

and hit the grass, it will bounce into the sky. Perfect. Which I guess still works, but then it bounces, as we see in the movie, infinitely. Yeah. So I don't know what the rules would say on that. So that keeps bouncing up and down. But if you roll it, I don't think anything will happen.

No? What if, well, when it rolls it and then it hits the jack. It'll go flying back. But if it hits the jack. If it hits the jack, it'll go flying back. But if it hits the jack and the jack goes in the hole, which is presumably what you want, like the jack goes into the ditch at the end. It's still in play and they can still get a point. No, but presumably it would hit.

It hasn't actually wrecked anything. In fact, because their ball hit the jack, it's still in play, where if you then roll your ball into the ditch after that. Not in play? Not in play. But I'm imagining if ball hit the jack, it's still in play. Where if you then roll your ball into the ditch after that. Not in play. Not in play. But I'm imagining if it hits the jack, it'll bounce right back the way it came. But will the jack move? I don't think so.

It's a little ball. So if you throw flubber at something that can move. Yeah. So if I got two balls. Right. One is flubbered. Let's talk flubber physics. So say two basketballs.

I got one basketball. One's flubberized. That's normal and one is flubbered. Let's talk flubber physics. Say two basketballs. One's flubberized. That's normal and one is flubberized. If I bounce them into each other... The flubberized ball will go flying. The regular one will still get knocked but it's not going to go flying. Or does it absorb the kinetic energy?

The momentum is going... It gives a look at the energy. So you have two balls. One is stationary and one is not. Yeah. And it's like you're hurling it at that. Like the forward momentum that it was meant to have, which would then force the stationary ball to keep going.

Yeah. Is now kind of internalizing and going the other way, right? Into the flubber. Into the flubber. So it's absorbing that impact and then pushing it away. Yes. So I think the jack would stay. Yes. Right? I suppose so. Because that's what the flubber, so it's absorbing that impact and then pushing it away. So I think the jack would stay. Yes, I suppose so.

Because that's what the flubber is. It's using the forward momentum, and the moment it hits a surface, it's going backwards. Yes, because I suppose when they punch somebody with a flubber hand, the head doesn't really get knocked back much at all. The arm goes back. The arm goes back. But there's a scene where they're punching

one of the goons and he still does get punched in the head because if I was then maybe then we'll go to like boxing and I flubberized

say their particular their head well no no no no their gloves and so when I'm getting punched by them their arms getting

shot back their arms getting tired by the force of their punches and you could be Joel Samit, the man with the invincible head. Yeah. I don't even need the block. Yeah. Punch in the stomach.

Well, no, because it punches me in the stomach, right? That's true. The same thing. It's that forward momentum then goes rocketing back. My stomach pristine. That's true. Chunky and pristine. Their arm flying back. It's tired, and pristine their arm flying back

it's tired and then you've just got to push him over that's not how boxers you wouldn't punch you'd just punch him no they would

dislocate their shoulders it's the same the same momentum forward and back if you're a professional boxer and you are punching

your punches are pretty strong and you are like if I'm punching forward and extending all the way and then that same thing where my arm is in a forward direction it goes rocket back.

I am at the very least dislocating a shoulder. Which is then they can't punch. So maybe cheating at boxing is the way to go. I think that's a much better choice than lawn balls. To be honest, I'm mixing up bocce and lawn balls. I don't know how you play lawn balls.

I assume it's the same. Well, yeah, yeah, it is. But, like, I think that by involving flubber in something that rolls, too risky. Yeah, I thought with rolling And then you've also got to be good as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or good-ish. I thought, yeah, with rolling it would also then start bouncing everywhere. But I think the physics are off there. But with boxing, I think you're good. Then with boxing, yeah, I would also then start bouncing everywhere. But I think the physics are off there. But with boxing, I think you're good.

Then with boxing, yeah, I would simply just try and do some bit of cheating by dipping their gloves in flubber. There is, though, a scene where one of the characters is punching another one of the characters, and they punch them in the head a bunch, and they still do get knocked unconscious. And there's another scene, I just remember now, where the flubber said the romantic rival, he's a bad guy. Yeah.

The flubber goes crazy. Romantic rival. Yeah, because it's like... Oh, right. Not the flubber. No, not the flubber. Flubber's got no romance in him. It goes,

bounces up, bounces into his mouth. Yeah. Then it rockets out his asshole. Does he fart? No. Because you boldly made the claim... He doesn't fart.

It just rockets out his asshole. What happens when Flubber goes through your internal systems at that speed? I'm guessing he makes a face that goes like this. He's like, oh. He's like, oh. Surely it is like giving you the, like it's flushing you out, right? We would think Flubber would come out with a bunch of human shit. Like undigested food.

And stomach bile. He got a colonic. Probably realistically, the Flubble would just go through your throat and then bypass all of your organs and go straight out. Spice sector? It would kind of like the bowling ball from earlier. Just come out your gooch. I mean, we don't see it pop out of his anus,

so it might have come out his gooch. And he never turns up again. Yeah, because he's dead. Is he a Gooch? There's a lot of internal... No, he's another professor. So he's an innocent man. Why is he eating Flubber? He's not eating it on purpose. So the bad guy in the movie

wants Flubber to sell. And he's gotten this guy in to try and figure out how Flubber works. But then Flubber's going crazy and just by pure happenstance. Goes in his mouth. Goes in his mouth, out his gooch, kills him. Yeah. Because I'm like, if there's a lot of internal sphincters and stuff

and little turns, et cetera, in the human body. Well, certainly, I mean, your intestines are going crazy. Flubber's just bypassing all of that. Because if it happens that quickly and he's bypassing all of that, that's at speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a dead man. He is truly deceased. He's dead. That's dead. Flubber kills a man in the middle of's at speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a dead man. He is truly deceased.

He's dead. That's a dead professor. Flubber kills a man in the movie Flubber. Is it awesome there? Yeah. That's one of the best scenes in the movie. What happens if I dip myself in Flubber in the boxing match? Because I'm stationary,

and then the person who punches me, he punches me in the face. I think the same thing would happen. You'd have to be really careful getting out of the ring. You take one step. Oh, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug. Okay, but just like here. Also, Flubber's not invisible.

No, if you use the spray, it is. It just looks like water. Oh, right, I forgot about the mist. At one point, he also puts it on his hands. This is how he gets on the hands of the basketball kids. He gets on his hands, and he shakes the kids' hands, and he slaps one of the kids on the bottom. And so he sits down.

Yeah, he bounces back up again. And they're bouncing it. When they're bouncing it, it's like an incredibly fast dribble, but they don't move their hand. Okay, so then, yeah, all right. So if I douse my face in boxing. How do you wash Flubber off? They don't elaborate

What happens to those basketball kids After they finish playing basketball? I think they probably What if you put them shorts in the wash? Ruined my washing machine Break your washing machine Bouncy shorts Cause I'm

Where do you usually get punched a lot? The face The face The guts And the gloves Yeah the gloves So I reckon I could just

Spray my face And my like guts And then leave everything else unsprayed Here's a question and the gloves so I reckon I could just spray my face and my guts and then leave everything else unsprayed here's a question say you've got flubber on your lips and you close your lips together are you walking out on stage like let's go

or she's imitating a car or am I just their open mouth like some kind of lizard? Well, you've got a mouth guard, so being open mouth probably wouldn't draw that much attention. That's true, but putting the mouth guard in, it might bounce down your throat. No, I've got to put the mouth guard in,

and then I've got to spray everything. I'm getting into my mouth. Flubberton, dude. Flubberton, eat out your wife. Yeah. Maybe good for sex. Yeah, could be. Could be.

Rimming with the Flubber Tongue. Yeah. I was about to say, would you be better? Racking the asshole. Yeah. I guess you'd Flubberize your tongue. Would it be better to Flubberize the clitoris or the anus? No.

Using Flubber's lube will be bad. Use Flubber's lube, you just go flying back out. Every thrust, like fucking in space. Just like fucking in space. You know, you do one thrust, and then you just go, woo, you disappear into the cosmos. But if you're holding, okay, so say you're going, you know what, just because this is going to be the easiest way to describe,

let's go doggy style, the way that so I guess but when humans do it chances are whoever is doing the fucking yeah has hands on hips or waist uh-huh one thrust blow your own back yeah okay so I guess um all right cheating on our wives okay beautiful okay all right so we're using flubber to cheat in the sexual way. Can that ever work? What about this? If I Flubberize just one eye and then I wink. It's Flubberize. I wink a billion times

a second. What will that help you with? It's like one wink is sort of flirty and fun. What about a billion winks a second? I think two winks is already across the boundary of like... Yeah, that's a twitch. Yeah, it's just a twitch. Yeah, if I'm like, hey, Jack. Yeah, okay, bloody wink.

Hey, Jack. You okay? Yeah, fair enough. Okay. Yeah. Okay, so... But yeah, because I still can't think about like... Because flubber is lubricantant because you said asshole and pussy before

in once but then with the thrust power yeah you're being washed out at the same speed yes so yeah

you're probably dislocating your pelvis yeah oh absolutely flying into a wall slamming into the wall yeah if you're holding on maybe you might

flip forward to do like a cool summer slip what about instead we go reverse cowgirl and we're lying down? Okay. They bounce off? They bounce off.

You watch their heads impale through the ceiling. They're just dangling down like that. You're like, honey, I'm sorry. I don't know how I didn't foresee this. Yeah. Yeah. But also if you're fucking somebody and you're holding their hips, say, when you bounce back, you're going to keep holding their hips.

You're both going to hit the back. Okay, so okay, maybe, okay, what about this then? Harnesses. Okay. Yeah, all right, so we got like, we hold each other. Okay, I still think maybe reverse cowgirl or just cowgirl is the best position for this. So we kind of strap things away. Cowgirl's awesome, that's where you see the arse.

Yeah, nice. I love it. So it's like, all right, so it's, you know, strap everyone on so we can't go too far. And then we simply put a little bit of flubber

on like the, you know, around the base of the penis. Oh, so you're on big fuck. Yeah. So kind of like with the basketball, how it's kind of constantly going, but you the basketball You're maintaining Penis and pussy So I think it's going to be

Great You're going to come And oh my god it's going to suck Because you're like you're strapped in We're all strapped in You can't get off That's why I guess you've got to have a knife To cut the cords

That was the best come of my life Look at your red raw penis That's why I guess you've got to have a knife to cut the cords. Cut the straps so they can fly off. That was the best come of my life. Look at your red raw penis. Babe, that rocked. Same time again next year. You've got no more foreskin or remnants of foreskin. You've got circumcised by the flame. No more penis, no more nothing.

That's not a problem in the world maybe you're dead you're both deceased I think you come and you die like those no not dogs I almost said bees

but that's also not what I meant bees do bees fuck and die yeah bees they explode maybe it was bees I was thinking of

I think there's another creature though fish there's some fish spiders there's quite creature, though, that comes to mind. Fish? There's some fish. Spiders? There's quite a few fish that do it. Spiders, insects. Yeah, so... Octopus, maybe?

Any mammals? I don't think so. I don't think so. Anyway, I think we're one from five for things we could feasibly use Flubber to cheat on. I was thinking I could use it to get a leg up in the business world by killing my rivals. Okay, similar to my political campaign, but smarter. This was my plan.

So I say, hey, fellas, shall we go skydiving? Okay, but I flubberize their suits. So that when they hit the ground, and I also I snipped a you know they're skydiving they have their parachute when they hit the ground they just bounce back up in the sky again into the atmosphere and they become satellites of planet Earth And they're like, no. Where's Ted? They're like, he was here briefly. Okay. Watch him panicking.

Oh, no, Ted's chute's broken. Ted's chute, he's going to hit the point. But then what? Where's Ted gone? I'm sitting, I'm like in the plane watching. I see him fly up into the sky. Not my problem anymore. You don't even need to skydive. You can just be like, alright, take her down. Take her down.

No, that's suspicious. Why do they take her down? They're like, did you skydive? I'm like, oh, no. I got scared because I saw what happened to Ted. Did you see that? Ted's parachute was all cut up and then he rocketed into the atmosphere. He's now a satellite.

To be parachuting down and Ted's like, let's hold hands. And I'm like, oh no. No, no, let's hold hands. No, Ted, no, Ted. I think I want you. No, Ted, this is not a hold hands line. I'm going to hold my hands. Hold my hands.

Oh, fuck off. I'm a nervous parachute guy. I'm just going to let go of his hands when he hits the ground. Why? That means your parachute didn't open. I got confused. ground he goes he's like a time to pull the chute he pulls you shoot it's getting flies away and then he looks at you when you're like I'll let go as soon as he hits the ground. He's like, Jackson, open your shoe. He's like, I've got a plan. What? I've got to get you over the wind.

Open your shoe. You're going to die. Let go of my hands. Let go of my hands. I'll let you shoot. Then I'll die. No, I just need to grab it. No, no, just hold on with one hand.

One hand. No, no. So you, Kareem, in that split second where you land together, you are now mush, and he bounces up, holding onto your two heads. They get yanked off your body. Who does the company go to? Not you. Not Jackson.

Well, you're a smear on the ground. Ted is still alive? Ted is a satellite with two Jackson arms. So Ted's alive until he gets to a certain altitude. Yeah, then Ted's dead. Well, with enough, so if you're falling from the high, well, I don't know how skydiving works, but if you fall and you jump out of the plane

and you hit a certain. Terminal velocity. There's a lot of physics question that people are going to scream at us about, and I'm sorry. So you hit a terminal velocity and then you hit the ground and then you bounce back up again with the same amount of force going down. Now, force that's pulling you is gravity, right? Yes.

And so then you're going up again with the foot like that. Are you clearing the atmosphere or are you just going to keep this perpetual bounce away through neighborhoods and country roads? Also, you need to be directly a vertical because if it's

slightly at an angle... Whoa! Imagine Ted lives. Ted might live. Holding your arms. Oh, fuck. Ted gets the company. I'm live. Holding your arms. Oh, fuck. And then Ted gets the company. I'm sitting there with no arms.

No arms, a shmeal. No arms, no front. Congratulations, Ted. I'm very happy for you. Bits of your flesh just sloughed off your corpse. Got half a skull on a chair with like a tie. Yeah, I'm very happy for you, Ted. Enjoy the company.

Congratulations. You worked hard. You did a solo travel of the entire world. That was a crazy freak accident that happened, Ted. I'm really happy for you, though. Congratulations. He's just bouncing. And you've been covering his whole suit.

He's going to keep bouncing until like, I don't know what, NASA, the advisor, man. Well, we must catch Ted. We simply must catch Ted. Earth unites to rescue Ted, the bouncing man. Save our Ted. Save our Ted.

Save Ted. Sod. Sod. Save our Ted. Sod bounces. Just like a global The UN is like Ted might come through your country

Try to stop him Ted might become like I don't know The new messiah Let's talk about like a miracle This man bounced People interviewing my meat on TV Yeah I think it's really special If he didn't bounce I guess me still being alive

even though I'm only half a head and fell out of a plane would be newsworthy, but no one's even mentioned that. I have no arms. I'm mostly just meat and guts and a head. Joshua, what do you think about the fact that Ted will receive the company once we stop him bouncing?

What's it like being, I guess, the interim president of this company while we figure out what to do with Ted well it's bittersweet because as you can see I've just guts and a skull

and obviously I won't have the position permanently but I think Ted will do a really good job do you have any ways that we can think

we can catch Ted I can't think of anything I tried to like you know use my position as interim president to ask him from the board, but I couldn't do that. They wouldn't let me. They wouldn't let me.

No, I'm happy for him, honestly. Okay. God bless Ted and his family. What if we did it? Okay, no. Can you use Flubber, the other thing about cheating, is to cheat on your taxes? Okay. Yes. Okay.

Yes. No. The only way I can think of it is you file it in a way where it doesn't bounce until they go to open it and then it bounces away. But it's been ticked off. They just kind of ordered it. I think I got this.

Okay, so Flubber is a little guy. Yes, he is a little guy. Okay. I created it, right? Yeah. So in a way, I am little guy. Yes, he is a little guy. Okay. I created it, right? Yeah. So in a way, I am its father. Oh, okay. Could I classify Flubber as my dependent?

I think you could. And what does a Flubber need? Flubber is a very interesting individual that has certain expensive needs, maybe. Robin Williams has a whole fucking laboratory for the guy. So I need to have special care of my Flubber child. I probably need a lot of government handouts. Heaps. The most you can give.

Flubber needs to be kept cold or maybe near radiation. So he needs to be cold, near radiation and Nintendo would be nice. Flubber needs Nintendo. You've got to keep Flubber occupied. I like the idea of them being like, this is a medical marvel we're shipping you off to Chernobyl

why would you do that well we need radiation no we can get the radiation but there's the most radiation no no no but like you need like a microwave and you just punch it a little bit

and then you just turn it on no I think we're sending you to Chernobyl no but Flubber wants to meet John Cena I don't need to be near Chernobyl we'll build you an awesome suit that will be again you'll see some fucked up dogs there's fucked to be near Chernobyl we'll build you an awesome suit that will be again you'll see some fucked up dogs

there's fucked up dogs in Chernobyl yeah or is it fucked up well probably both I think they're just regular dogs they're just full of radiation yeah you shouldn't eat them

yeah but otherwise I'd probably need a normal dog probably got like a lower life expectancy yeah probably from the radiation no but isn't it like

can we still meet John Cena yeah the government will let you meet John Cena and you can claim it on your taxes. I wonder if there's a way with taxes. Like, could we buy a bunch of stuff, write it off, cover it in flubber, bounces away when the taxman comes?

I guess, yeah. Is there anything where you can somehow get more money from it bouncing away? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but this is cheating of insurance. Okay. Oh, insuring a car for $100,000, bounce it into space. Yeah.

I don't know. I was simply driving my car. And it bounced off. And then it bounced off into the space. Can I have money, please? If I've, that's an act of God. If I've ever seen an act of God, your car bouncing into space is an act of God. Okay.

And that's covered by insurance. What if I was to go find insurance company and I'm like, all right, okay, okay. Okay. Well, what are,

what are the clauses of say, I don't know if it bounces off into space. Can you get something insured for an act of God? I don't know. They often talk about it. Like that's not allowed, but like if you specifically do that, well, no, if you think, hey, I'm going to get struck by lightning, it's coming.

Yeah, but if you say, for example, what happened to this beautiful studio was that we got flooded. Now, flooding is generally an act of God slash biblical. Yeah, fair, fair, fair. Sort of plague. Yeah, it's a plague. But you have insurance that covers flooding. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know.

It's going to space. I don't understand what is an act of Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know. If going to space. I don't understand what, oh, it's an act of God, whatever. So you'd have insurance of, you'd have to prove that it was natural forming. Well, but you can't go to space. You can't go to space.

What about can you cheat on your exams? My test sheet went away. It bounced away. Can't do it. Don't think that, that'll just give you a pass. If I get like a, if I'm filling out like a multiple choice with a pencil

and I put a bit of flubber on that and I'm like, oh, I got a mark and whoa, it flew away. Oh, sorry. I can't do my exam. They're going to hand me a pencil. I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Can we like flubber our brain to make us smarter? No. Oh, I've got it. Okay. Can cheat your way into free food. Oh. Step one. Uh-huh.

Order a pizza. Done. Or you order heaps of pizzas. Done. You're not paying for this. You select pay at the door. Oh, okay. Step three, the pizza man rings the doorbell and then somehow just rockets away, leaving

the pizzas pristine and hot and steaming. Pizza company gives you calls. Have you seen our driver? He dropped off the pizzas. I want to say, you've ordered an obscene amount of pizzas. This delivery person is holding the pizzas. He's like, okay. There's a doorbell.

I presume. He pressed the doorbell. Now he pressed the doorbell with the speed of which you press a doorbell, which isn't a lot. No, but it's... But it's flubber, so it... But it's flubber, so it seems to be like... It's almost like exponentially increases the amount.

Yeah. He goes rocketing, holding the pizzas in one hand. Yeah, but it doesn't... So his arm goes this way as he spins around. The pizzas go flying. He... Yeah. He slams into the pizza delivery car, dead.

You go outside and scrape the pizzas off the wall of your house? Can you? Eating grassy is still good. I've taken a human life for half a good pizza. The pizza company calls you up and is like, have you seen our driver? You open the curtains and look out at the dead man. No, I don't know where he is. I'm here to receive my pizzas, actually.

Can you send the replacement? It's funny to imagine you watching who knows the pizza truck car arrives and then turns around. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck! Drop my first! Drop my first!

All you need to... Okay, so the trick would be you'd have to order enough pizzas that he has to put the pizzas down to ring the doorbell. Or maybe I have a situation where it requires a two-hand job to ring the doorbell. Two hand jobs, nice. What about this?

What if you flub up your hand and when you take the pizzas you say, thank you very much? Or you go for a high five. Hell yeah, pizza. Pizza, and he goes flying away. Uh-huh. Okay, so you generally... If you... Okay, sorry to interrupt.

Yeah, that's fine. So when they find the dead body, they will find your fingerprints. But your fingerprints will be on top of his fingerprints. Well, it's not that, it's just... Well, not so much that. It would just be, the man is propelled outside your front door. What happened?

Officer, what the fuck? There's a record of pizza being delivered to your house And clearly you got the pizza Because you're eating it What the fuck? That's crazy, dude I don't know what they could It would be such a funny thing to watch

On one of those doorbell caps. Yeah. Or like fisheye. Because chances are maybe some neighbors have the footage, like doorbell cams or other security. I think what would get you in trouble is they wouldn't blame you because how could they? Yeah, they'd be like, what did you do?

But they would probably blame you for going inside and eating the pizza and not calling the cops. What if I call the cops? Surely they'd still let me eat the pizza. I mean, well, you've got some time from when they arrive. Do you reckon that would look... Okay, so say, doorbell rings, pizza guy gets to fly. Would this be suspicious?

The three pizzas are still... So my plan works. Pizza guy puts down the pizzas, rings the doorbell, gets blown away. Yeah. I immediately call the cops. Right. But then I take the pizzas and eat the pizzas. Do you reckon that makes me look guilty?

I think that makes you look like a monster. I don't know how... So a man died in front of you and you can eat three pizzas? I'm stressing you. You're a hungry monster. I'm stress eating. Are you eating while the police question you? No. Okay. I'm eating while. You're a hungry monster. I'm stress eating. Are you eating while the police question you? No.

Okay. I'm eating while I'm waiting for the police. I think you could maybe get away with it, but you would have to say that, yeah, you threw the pizzas away. I think. Actually, you know what? I've decided I would get up. Pizza's are evidence.

I would get up. Yeah, pizza's are... Fuck, pizza's are evidence. Can you talk pizza? I'll be in the evidence. Can we do the police phone call? Okay. I'll be the police.

Hello, 911. What can I do for you? Hi, yeah, something very strange just happened outside my house. Okay, we're listening. So a man tried to deliver me some dinner, and it looks like that something, like, blew him away. Okay. Did you see what blew him away? No.

He's gone, but it looked violent. Okay. We'll send people out to your house. I guess you could get away with it. What? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, but then you're an eyewitness. Yeah, that's alright. So then you gotta keep this lie.

You gotta describe what happened. As opposed to, I heard a loud noise, and the delivery person, they delivered my pizza. I thanked them. We closed the door. And then I heard a sound. You know what? But then it's like, but then there's no cash on them, so you didn't pay them. I think the best way.

You're fine, but you're under arrest for not paying for your pizza. Well, no, because they'd be like, well, this story isn't adding up. Yeah. No, I think I would just be like, well, this story isn't adding up. Yeah. No, I think I would just be like, hey, I ordered food. Heard the doorbell ring. When I went to the doorbell, no one was there, but there was a bit of carnage around, and the pizza's on my doorstep,

so I took them inside. It looks like there was some kind of fight. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I think that'd be it. I think as long as the pizza guy isn't just embedded in the car, parked outside my front door. If as long as they're not immediately within eye. Yeah. But even if you took the police car and you were like,

I took the pizzas off the pizza guy and I high-fived him and I don't know what happened. Yeah. I guess I high-fived him with such strength. No, with that one, it just seems like I went into a fit of rage and killed him. But there, oh, no, you went to high five him. But this, make sure that your ring cam is on.

Yeah, okay. So then it's showing that you high fiving him and then him exploding. Yeah. And the police will be like, how did you do that? I don't know, officers. You washed the flubber off by that point. As you're eating a pizza. I don't know what's going on.

I think they think it was a bomb. Yeah. You put a bomb in that man. I'm trying to think if there is... Although, like, you eating the pizza... I think eating the pizza is fine. I don't know, because they're like, why did you eat the pizza?

You saw a man, like, a freak accident happen where a man has died. You high-fived a man so hard that they died. No, high-fiving. And you still ate pizza. High-fiving, no, I couldn't get away with it. But I think if I heard a loud noise, found the pizzas, ate the pizza, that's fine. I think they would be like, well, people do weird stuff in shock.

They'd still suspect you. Yeah. Because a man died before delivering your pizza. After delivering my pizza. I also love that this whole scheme is to just not pay for three pizzas. Yeah. What did it cost? A man's life.

But no money. No money. As opposed to $30, I've taken a stranger's life. Yeah, but so there'd be records of like you ordering the pizza and that kind of stuff. Yeah. And sure, you'd get away with it enough, but maybe like after the pizza person has like, you know, the owners or whatever, they've grieved the loss of their employee or whatever

you think they might come and ask for the money they might be like hang on that person have actually paid for the money as well but it could also

go in your favor if you're proved innocent they might be like we're so sorry you had to see one of our drivers die free pizzas for life

a human life for free pizzas for life yeah well it's kind of like you know there's that classic thing. If you had a button, every time you pressed it, you got a million dollars. But somebody somewhere in the world died.

You have a button, you press it, you get free pizzas for life. Someone somewhere in the world dies. Is there a fine deal? Yeah, you just happen to see the man. That would suck, dude. They gave me the box, and I pressed it, and it was a guy in front of me. I was like, did you do that on purpose? And they're like, no, dude, one of yours.

Two people present you the box and they're talking to you and you press the button and one of them dies? Press it again. Somebody just somewhere else dies. You die. Gotta press the button. You gotta press the button. People die all the time anyway.

I can deal with a million dollars Yeah that's fair People die all the time But Jackson never gets A million dollars Exactly It's gonna happen anyway Um yes

That's what we do With Flubber I suppose Yeah And what brilliant decisions From all of us So I think it's pretty easy To cheat with Using Flubber

All great ideas It's a multi-purpose goo Yeah Well on that note I've been Joel i've been joe i've been jackson i've also been joe this has been another episode of plumbing the death star and let us know which flubber plan did you like the best and can see yourself using in the future flubber's real now flubber's real now yeah yeah yeah yeah he's not allowed to use his toothpaste

whoa that'd be fucking crazy how many pizzas are worth a human life? Four? Five? That's what we want answered in the comments. How many pizzas are worth a human life? I think a million. One million pizzas? For a person's life, yeah.

No, because that's too many pizzas to eat. A threesome. Is that a threesome? He said, I'll freeze them. A threesome. I'll freeze them. I'll freeze them. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson.

And I'm also Joel. And this is the Pop Culture Comedy Podcast where we ask the most important sporting... Whoa, wrong podcast. I have too many intros that all sound the same. I'll just get from the top. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel.

Fuck! Sorry. It's okay. Take your time. Let them tears fall, baby. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson.

And I'm also Joel. Fuck! You know what? Fuck this. I'm just gonna write it down so that I will fucking relax. Fair enough. I don't know if this is fun anymore. Actually, I think I quit.

That's awesome.