Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Use Minority Report?

Episode Date: November 3, 2024

Remember in Minority Report where if you thought about murdering someone they put you in a tube? The big tube you’re in forever alongside a bunch of other guys stacked six people high. Well here at Plumbing the Death Star we think that’s probably an imperfect system. Zammit is shocked that cops could be made even lazier, Jackson tries to become the worlds worst realtor, and Duscher wants you to send him your Orgy Spotify Playlists please. So hop into a nutrient rich pool and chuck on your headphones. It’s another episode of Plumbing the Death Star, a very good podcast.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. He doesn't look like your typical posture. You know, long hair, slick back, wears a leather jacket. He was so cool. On a new season of Heaven Bent. And I mean, like, this guy has seen miracles happen. Beyond Belief, the legacy of Art Lucier and The Harvest. This is a story that's been needing to be told for a long time, and I've been waiting for somebody to tell it.

Listen to Heaven Bent wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast where we ask the important questions. Uh huh. Like, how would you use minority reports? Right, so, The Nod Report, a wonderful film, a beautiful movie by Steven Spielberg with Thomas Cruise based on a Philip K Dick short story. Novella, Colt, you're not going to believe this, The Minority Report.

I would believe that actually. Thanks for watching the movie. Drop the thaw. believe this the minority report I would like that actually thought for the movie drop the thought yeah yeah so in the in the movie if you don't remember it they have these pre cogs yeah they can see the future you got Agatha and then you've basically got I don't know Jenkins and wongus they are so unimportant it doesn't matter fuck Jenkins and one and the whole thing is we've got these three people they can see the future, and we're in this pool of nutrients that they get taken care of.

They're always sedated, and they have visions of the future, but only murders that we can see on the TV screen. And it's just like little snippets here and there, and then they think real hard or whatever, and two balls pop out of a machine. How was that machine came up with? I I don't know but they have this machine Okay, and the machine is like who is the victim and who is the perpetrator and it's only murders They can only predict okay because they're like well the reason why is because well the murders are such a like an invasion or like a

Destruction of something in the universe it kind of like a stuff That's why we can see these things and it starts with the movie They've been doing this for six years in DC and DC has had no crime or no murders for six years Whoa, except for crimes of passion. No, well, they have them. Yeah, they have a little time to react I'm sorry. Sorry. They have six years of no murders. Yeah. They have so any premeditated murders has really gone down to the point of nothing. And there's different coloured balls. And with a crime of passion that does still like you know that pops up but the people in pre-crime they're there to stop it. Okay. And they're there with their little jet packs, little stun gun or whatever that makes people vomit. Whoa. It's very funny. And so they they're being like

on the eve basically of them taking this whole thing national. And it's great to see that this whole thing has made all the cops very lazy. When they're like, right, we need to fight, because spoilers for the premise of the Yeah. Thomas Cruise is like, he's there doing his little hand gestures. Yeah, best part of going to Minority Report. Who's gonna be this? Who's gonna be there? Time to go on the Conchudo. Hey, give me a sec, I'm gonna go on the Minority Report. Yeah.

Make things big and do a turn, swivel it around. Imagine if that... It's good stuff. People talk about it, and Iron Man does this as well, of like, whoa, the future is just gonna be screens in front of you. Yeah, just using your hands you look fucking Imagine browsing pornos, let's just imagine browsing imagine on the minority report screen Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom I'm already poor to goon. Well, I know that's the beauty of it I could then open those tabs bam bam bam bam bam bam bam surrounding my head. Yeah, you know my arts consent Yeah, well cuz you started this with being like, yeah, that would be stupid But now you've made the perfect goon cave in your house

Yeah, but imagine coming, you know, you come in on somebody masturbating to pornos now. They close the laptop Yeah, put their phone down. Yeah, put that phone down. You come into me You coming to me Your goon cave but like I'm reversed because Transparent for some reason we want to make friends. Don't make don't make friends don't make sense to me They're backwards all you say is my pants around my ankles and you know what's happening as I stand in the middle of my Cuz there are computers you do see in my report where they do have the backing. So you can actually see what's going on.

But then, Anderton, not Anderson. No, Anderton. John Anderton. That's stupid. He threw me so often, being like, Anderton. I'm like, did they fuck it? Look, no, they didn't.

In the future, do we not have S's in names anymore? No, no anymore. Johanton. Yeah. I hated the fact that I was some guy named Andersson. I'm Anderston. It's good now. But yeah, he's at a hotel or whatever.

He's like, they need to show me the screen. They turn around and the clerk was looking at pornos the whole time. He's like, no. Look at you. There it is. Well, there's also Jad Watson. Yeah, that's awesome. Jad. Jad. I wish it was Jad Anterton. Jad Anad Watson. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I wish it was jada anderton

Yeah, that's good to say. Oh, yeah, I could be in the it's so we probably all get slightly minority report names Yeah, probably Jot Bailey or Jod There's someone called not with two T's whoa There's like some pretty boring names like Wally and And and Avana. I think you guys would just be Joel Danny JOL Yeah, Joel Joel and Jot So yeah, so it's a yeah, so Thomas Anderson. Yeah, sorry John anderton Yeah, he

Finds that he's going to do a future crime. Okay and murder someone he's never met before And so he goes on the lam and goes on the run. And so they're like, we've got to find where he is. And they use these things with like little spiders. And they go around and they scan people's eyes. It's a huge invasion of privacy. That's a point in the film. Everyone's like, don't scare my children. I'm in the middle of fucking.

And they have to be interrupted. And this little thing scans their eyes and The whole thing is like they're very like they scan a building There's a bunch of bodies because the infrared they send all these like Spiders in there to do like the eye scans and that is when Tom Tom Cruise gets in the gets in the ice bucket pool Okay, don't look at me. I'm not there and then I got someone blinked out. We better go investigate this Yeah, they're about to investigate it. But then the little spider zapped the shit out of the water and he'd come up and he'd

scan his eyes because he's got an eye replacement. And they're like, oh, it's not him. It's someone else. Off we go. It's me looking for John Anderton. This is Jed Anderson. Yeah, yeah. It's Mr. Nuckersauer, I believe.

And so then they're like, oh whatever, let's go, I'm hungry. And so it's made him very lazy. Another issue I found with the whole concept is once they arrest somebody, so it opens with like a crime of passion. A man is like, oh I forgot my glasses, full Valma mode. Jinkies! Where are my glasses? I'm gonna kill my wife! Yeah, he goes, yeah, jinkies, I forgot my glasses and there's my wife getting plowed by another man So then he stabs them both with scissors Well, he's doing that. Yeah, and that's what they they stop, right? And so then they're like well you were gonna kill your wife and the man that she's fucking so we're gonna give you this thing

Called a halo. Yeah goes on their head and We don't really know what it does. It just basically is they they either in a prison in their own mind Maybe they're living out there like you know their past maybe they're like, you know going into their whole like little Joel or jot cave in their mind. We don't really know exactly it's not really portrayed But basically they just shut up from society that and then they go into prison Yeah, which is a tube which is usually about like imagine a big cylinder. Yeah with more dudes in it Like how they x-ray babies Yeah, and they have to so usually you'll'll get the baby doing like this kind of look where they're like WOOOOOOAH!

They put a baby in a tub! Yeah, it's very very funny. I love it. The baby looks so shocked. Baby hates it. Why am I in a tube? He's thinking. The baby looks kinda like it's being held up. Like it's in, like a gun point. Like what, like a gun point, yeah.

So they put him in a tube like that, or like Wolverine in his little weapon X kind of thing. But I think it's like four guys or five guys high, and then they hit a button that goes up, and then it goes down. So it's like the prison is like a hole in the ground, and then you're just there forever. I don't know that they've killed me with a bolt gun like a cow. There's no judicial processes. When Anderton is being like, alright, time to look at my pre-crime, open up, zoom in, flip it around, he has like a judge and someone else to be like, you're here to witness it, and they're like, I'm like a view scribe, yeah, we're here and that's it. They're like, yep, cool. You can you have the warrant to arrest this person

Yeah, the warranty everything it is whatever put them in the tube. There's there's no there's no rehabilitation There's no like court date to like argue your your case Yeah, can you get done in the self-defense? They just chuck you in put you in the tube Chuck you in like basically the same day they arrest you put the halo halo in, in you go, that's it. Goodbye. Goodbye. Yeah. Crazy to think you'd ever do a premeditated murder.

Yeah. Cause you'd be like, I might kill this person. And you'd be like, well, but they will definitely put me in the tube. But the thing is, like, is that when, is just the thought, is that where you're in trouble straight away? So I'm sitting there on the block. And I see somebody and I'm like, maybe I become a serial killer. And then all of a sudden police, uh... Maybe. I said maybe! So I'm sitting there on the bus and I feel like I should kill that guy. Maybe I become a serial Maybe I said maybe well you they hit you with a gun you start vomiting

Enjoy the slammer It's not just a time to get fucking too dumb Okay It's not just a thought because they have these like fantasy pods that you can go into and you can do whatever you want. You can have like, I want to, I want to be surrounded by pornos and have myself an orgy. I want to have everyone loving me and telling me I've done a good job. I don't know if I can watch pornos and an orgy. I feel like that that's too much stimulation.

Wait, you're at the orgy and then watching pornos on your phone. I think that's, I don't know what energy that is. It's crazy. Even if there's like an orgy happening and there's like TVs and they're just showing pornos. You're not paying attention. I get that. Okay. That makes more sense. I think, but also if there's like... Is that normal for an orgy?

I don't know. I've never partook in an orgy myself. I think most orgies are sort of less glamorous than you'd imagine. So instead of like fancy screens, it might be like somebody's TV that they have a porno playing on. Here's my fear of an orgy. Yeah. Living room or whatever. Yep. Just at the house.

Yeah. Laptop open. Yeah. Playing Spotify out of the laptop. Yeah. And you could see it on a playlist called like Fun Night with Friends or something. Yeah, yeah.

Wink. Have you ever seen that awesome photo which was about like a Super Bowl? Yeah Like a full guys watching the game getting sucked off. Yeah, it's like a guy in the kitchen and the dog on the ground Yeah, it was like a swingers party or whatever and they're like all the games on as well Yeah, so wouldn't it be great to be slopped off whilst watching the football? I love that photo I think that photo is like kind of Nirvana for a certain. I think it's beautiful.

I think here's what I'm thinking about an orgy. Orgy corner. Would you like to arrive at an orgy before it begins or halfway through? Because for me, I'm thinking halfway through. Because I think the initial stages of an orgy have to be the most awkward bit. No, because I think that that, I feel like if I'm coming in

Mmm halfway through I've missed the boat Yeah, but a different level Yeah, but yes, but but you know what I mean like is No, but I feel like that that's I just need a bit more stimulation just walking into a room and be like Hey, I don't know Kate. So. So okay, we got an invitation. Yeah. It's like, Joel Dusha, you've been invited to the orgy that's happening, you know, in three weeks time. Yeah.

Start time, 6.30 p.m. I'm rolling it in. When are you rolling up? Yeah. I'm gonna wanna be there by seven, but I'm not gonna get there much earlier than seven. Okay, okay, okay. What about yourself, Jack? I think it's really funny to arrive early for an orgy.

I think that's gonna be the most awkward thing in the world. Where the guy's like 5'30. 5'30, the guy's still setting up. And then I don't need to offer to help. Oh, Scott. I just sit down and wait and edge myself. How do you set up for an orgy? Well, you gotta put down mattresses.

Put down mattresses, a tarp. I'd put down a tarp. The moment I said mattresses, there was like a micro-expression on your face of disgust. That was awesome. Mattresses, pillows, I guess like a trestle table for like, you know, snacks. Snacks, you know.

Light some incense, probably. Light some incense. You're gonna need incense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the dog in the laundry. You can't have that many holes in gay but not have some kind of scent. Yeah, you're probably gonna go to your neighbors like when you have a loud party I'd be like hey, there's gonna be some smells and sounds

Setting up like a playlist yeah, picking your orgy playlist. Or let's just have a quick look. If you search orgy playlist on Spotify, what do we got? It's gotta be something there. Yeah. I reckon, yeah, I think seven o'clock would be ideal. But I'd be worried-

Or even like, actually not, because what if it's too early? Yeah. Maybe, I think maybe 7.38. Because also you're not gonna just rock up there being like, oh, I'm awkward. Because you've got orgy brain. Yeah, that's true. Because if you're the kind of person it's like I'm gonna go to I'm going to orgy

Yeah, you're gonna be like excited because the drive over there You know the bus ride or the train ride over there the walk the walk the bicycle ride I can take it like a bus to an orgy. I'm actually gonna bus home from an orgy What is there another name for an orgy that people would use swingers? You can say swingers. Swingers, yeah. Swinger party. Cause there is, I just did find an orgy playlist

that probably is an actual orgy playlist, but it's called the orgy playlist. So I don't trust it. Yeah. That's fair, probably swingers. Swing, yeah. But yeah, like, yeah, you were right. And you'd be so like, ah, I can't wait to go to the orgy.

Cause then I get my like, oh, it's going to be so much fun. It's how planned the things you're going to do. Well, then I guess my next question is, are you the kind of? Guy that's gonna make the first move Because obviously the orgy doesn't start immediately you're all there you're eating snacks. You're getting a drinking probably I was about to have a drink. Is my partner coming with me, but that's a swingers party This is an orgy. This is a full on orgy. Solo event. I just like to say that every orgy and swingers playlist I've found has

over 12 hours of music. Fucking, alright, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, this one goes for 34 hours. You gotta sleep sometimes. Well, this is the thing, so if you're having like this, you know, you're pressing play, you're letting that kind of go, maybe you're doing a shuffle. This one's six hours, that I believe, that's a length I believe. Yeah.

So you might not be partaking But if it's like you know hey, it's the doors. It's from six to six. You know it's like Hey, man, whenever you want to rock up and depending on the orgies at one orgy room. I you like oh we have themes over here There's a sauna over there. There's a pool over there. You have a spa over there Sacks like that once again never really partook in anything like this, so I don't really know. Another fucking 13 hour one. I'm just trying to find legitimate looking... Maybe that's the thing, maybe they do like 13 hours because it's like a swingers weekend.

I don't know, because again, they're not like, we're not having like, you know, one and none. This one goes for 22 hours, but again, it has a name that makes me think... Swingers party love mix. Fire emoji. I reckon, because I reckon, yeah, no has a name that makes me think swing his party love mix fire fire emoji I reckon You know I think that's legit. I think oh no Bo Burnham's on this inside the swing his party You fucking getting your nut busted to welcome to the internet Jesus like surely is it welcome to the internet No, it's All Eyes on Me.

All Eyes on Me is also extremely strange. Okay, is this a joke though? Let's scroll through and see if anything else stands out. What the fuck? Sex on Fire, ha ha ha ha. 21 Pilots, I wouldn't put them, but I guess they are just falling in reverse... Corn? Freak on a leash?

No, it was... Because like I get the... Black is the soul. I kinda get the vibe, but... It's gotta be that. It's gotta be like whatever. I'm hosting an orgy weekend, or a swingers weekend,

or whatever. Different rooms for different flavors, shall we say. Absolutely. Now we've got Central Swingers sex soiree. Yeah. That again, this one looks... It's all hip-hop. Yeah. I think this is legit. I wouldn't... I wouldn't fuck to most of these Tyler songs, but hey. It's mostly Tyler. No, no, you're falling for it. It's got 1,400 songs.

It goes for 81 hours. Well, I'll tell you what I wouldn't have done with this playlist, if I can critique it somewhat, is that there's a lot of the same artists in a row, which I feel like you don't want. No, you have a shuffle. But I would like to say, because... OK, so the hip-hop world, I just sorted by most recently.

They've been out into this playlist. They've been going at this playlist for two years. And most recently, they've added All Time Low. And fucking Pierce the Veil, which doesn't mean anything to the two people I'm in the room with, but you're not fucking... I guess me. I mean, look. Bye bye bye from Deadpool. Awesome.

Yeah. They saw Deadpool. Look, I can't. I don't... They added the whole NSYNC album. I am not a... All of them. I'm not a sw album! I am not a- All of them!

I'm not a swinger. Yeah. I'm not. I just find the idea kind of like- It feels like you need to be all encompassing. Yeah. If that- If you're a swinger, you're a swing. You're a swing. You're a lot- You won't shut the fuck up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you fucking to too full Rage Against the Machine albums? I'm not because I'm not a swinger! I wouldn't say that these are sensual songs. But, uh, if you are in the swinging lifestyle, maybe you're on the lookout adding albums and adding music that you quite like. Yeah, you see, Dad, you like it? You think? Okay, you know what, now we've got something I can finally weigh in on. They've got fucking two Beastie Boys albums in a row here.

I have fucked to the Beastie Boys, it's not a good idea. Maybe not for you. Maybe not for you. Maybe not for you, dude. Different strokes for different folks. Don't yuck these guys young. You're yuckier than young. I was fucking to their greatest hits and I powered through, like I kind of noticed. I was able to power through sabotage, but then when 5 for your right, the party starts,

it's so hard to be like, am I enjoying this sex or am I just mostly trying not to fucking time with this song. Yeah once again different strokes. Any swingers out there that know? Let us know. Send us your swingers playlist. It's very intriguing. Anyway go on. I don't remember but let's see if we can keep going. So yes so Anderson is like hey I'm uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, journey to maybe kill this person because the whole concept is like the reason why we like this is it's all predetermination yeah people like well you've got to lock these people up here they're gonna kill these people and then Colin Farrell is there is like a person kind of investigating this is a kind of concept to be like are we doing this they did that one wonderful scene with the guard Tom Cruise rolls a ball and then Colin Farrell catches it and he's like well how did you know that was going to hit the ground? You caught it before it fell but you caught it and it didn't fall.

Was it going to fall? Pre-determination, right? And so the whole thing is kind of like okay cool I don't know who this person is I'm going to go and try and kill this person or not kill this person I'm in the room and he now has a choice. Agatha is there, he kidnaps Agatha. Agatha is there and she's like you could run away, just run away. But he doesn't, he just goes to this point where he's in this situation where he's there with a gun and Leo Crowe and he's like I now, I've seen the murder. Yeah. I know I'm going to do this. Yeah. Am I going to do this? Yeah. And that's gonna come down to like, you know, can you change the future? Yeah, sure. He does change the future in the sense that he actually doesn't kill Leo Crowe, but he still shoots him But Leo Crowe was like why why you meant to kill me?

I was told if I get you kill me my family gets money I'm all good what the hell and then Leo Crowe force the situation and Leo Crowe ends up getting shot and dies Okay, and so then he's like arrested for the yeah Yeah, and then later on the bit the person Max von Sidro, as the, as Lamar Burgess is the director, he's all been set up like all this, and like he's the one that kind of was the planning of like,

you know, of this Leo Kodadai, and the whole inception of it all, the whole like kind of creation of the pre-crime, because it doesn't just come from two, like three random precocks, who are they so good, they're being looked after, no. so there's like a drug in it where the mother had the drug Like this is a junkie while they were pregnant heaps fucking like your favorite television program on Amazon Prime the boys Yeah, it's so they take basically a

Drug whatever the drug is made. Hey, let's inhale and I think or so They're junkie some of the kids that are born or their mother having had this develop some of these abilities Yeah, okay a lot of them just died Took the drug You really gotta just consume media and not just watch itIFs, my dude, because you don't know the story. Home Landers dad is soldier boy and he had a surrogate mother that's up in the air. In the comics, his fucking, it was just whatever, but in the show it's probably going to be revealed that it was Stormfront. It was also his girlfriend who used to be Lady Liberty, but then also when he was a baby, he was then given V as well. He's the double V. I know I know

Double V. Well, yeah, cuz he I didn't know don't tell me Anyways, basically like these jockeys had kids these kids Precogs, you're not all over most of my dying Yeah, cuz we're doing this like experimenting on them But most of the mothers end up just dying anyway. So we can have like half-blanch of experimenting on these little kids. Except the mother of Agatha who is like, Well, I would like to, you know, I clean myself up. I want my baby back.

And then the director was like, Oh, yeah, no worries. We'll do it. Hia is a drifter to kill the mom. But of course the precogs like ah see it's happening he sees it all happen watches it all and then he's like I'm aware what the guy was gonna wear and so when the again the cops are so fucking lazy yeah they come in they arrest the guy was about to kill the mother halo him and then they just chuff off leave the victim though almost murdered yeah just deal with it yeah off you go and that's when the director comes in, puts on the mask, the killer was gonna end drowns her.

And they're like, ah, there's these minority reports because sometimes they're like the visions that the three of them have. They're a little bit off. Oh, just a tiny bit off. Yeah, okay. And this whole premise is kind of like, you know, well, if it's not a hundred percent effective, what's the point? Also very insane. Well, yeah, with the punishment, what it is. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, also very insane. Well Yeah with the punishment what it is

There's so many steps to get to this point, yeah, you're like, okay cool we can predict the future That's great. So all these people that are committed these crimes we can stop. That's great Now we're gonna put him on like a halo. Oh, when you rest them. Yeah Because then they don't fight back. It's a you know, it's a nonviolent way of subduing Perp like okay, and then well then they're never taking the halo off and they're gonna go in a tube Put him in the tube, baby Problem one. Yeah, don't put him in the tube. That's the problem. Don't put problem two. We find out that it's like as soon as Anderton he takes Agatha. Yeah, and it's like oh no you've taken Agatha like if you've taken Grimbo and Buxelboy

Yeah, that would have been fine, but you took Agatha. She's the one she's the important one. Yeah, she's the pre-cock She knows everything without Agatha everything is just full of the shit. And so you're like so that what's the point of these two fuckos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should they help? Just, I guess, get the three different versions? Oh yeah. I don't know. But then it's like everything really relies on this one person. This one individual, this one person that you are keeping sedated. You are keeping very much like, chill.

I would like to explore more that nutrient pool. Yeah. That sounds awesome. So they're in the nutrient pool and they're sedated as all hell and they can't really... If you just lie in the nutrient pool, does it like just as all hell and they can't really lie in the nutrient pool Does it like just feed you and stuff? I think so. That's fucking awesome. There's one guy Wally He's just there injecting them occasionally with whatever they need and he's like he talks to them. They don't talk back because they're sedated Yeah, he's a bit of a creep. Anyway, can I get a nutrient pool in this future? You can jump in

Well, it's giving nutrients that's what I'm hoping for yeah feel like I'm not getting enough nutrients and if there's like a pool I could lie in how good would cigarettes that were vitamins be how happy would you be oh hey dude have you just described it inhaler no no no that's medicine smoke in need to be smoking it!

I don't mean medicine, I mean vitamins. You need to smoke it so it makes you healthy. But also if antibiotics should come in cigarette form, that's also funny. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine they're like, oh god, I'm a bit asthmatic today.

Oh! Oh yeah! Oh, there it is. That's opened my lungs right up. They should simply just invent cigarettes that are good for you. Yeah, I agree, dude. It's simply just invent cigarettes that are good for you. Yeah, I agree dude.

Exactly. Have you had your vitamin bucket bong? Not yet today. Oh yeah, there we go. Now I'm ready. I know I could go for a run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smoking vitamins, I have an apple.

So, clever. That's awesome. So then everything relies on Agatha. So that's problem two. Would you say that it was Agatha all along? I think it might have been Agatha all along. So everything relies on Agatha. So that's problem two. Would you say that it was Agatha all along? Yeah. I think it might have been Agatha all along. So everything relies on Agatha. So that's another problem there because yes,

okay, she's sedated. That's fine. For some reason we- It's not fine, I was gonna say. It's not fine, it's not fine either. But yeah, you've got her sedated. So you're like, okay, this person, we're using him as a tool. There's a point where I'm like,

one of the, it's like they're not even really human at this point. we're using them as a tool. There's a point where I'm like, one of them is like, they're not even really human at this point. They're beyond that. They're something else. They're another. And so it's like, they're sedated and we're using them as a tool to kind of like understand, like to stop the crime,

or stop the murders that are in the DC district. They wanna go national. I don't know how they plan on doing that because I don't know what stops currently them being like, oh, the district, like the border, where I don't wanna have they plan on doing that because I don't know what stops currently them being like oh the district like the border We I don't want to have a vision of that. I don't want to think about well Yeah, surely it would be global right you would imagine. I mean who knows who knows at this point Yeah, it's also up to the technicians to like you know I guess you know record what is being shown Yeah, I really really like Minority Report, but it's worth noting that Agatha's last name is Lively and that's annoying.

Yeah, that's also classic Philip K. Dick. Oh, yeah big time big time. Anyway, sorry, please Yeah, I saw it and it was needed to get it out. That's understandable, dude. So yeah, so you've got this one person who is like everything relies and your whole crime unit relies on this and Anything could happen. They could just get old and die. And aneurysm and die. They fuck up the nutrient pool and die. Like, or they just, you know, get kidnapped like they do. Yeah. Can't they- can they make more? Well, that's the problem. Although they need a lot of junkies to have a lot of kids that they can experiment on.

Which is unethical. I guess it's like if you've got one person who can do it. Yeah. What other choice do you have? And they have these like yeah They have a bike and a bunch of these are people that tried it like they try but then they clearly they Only happens I guess three times and of those three times that are successful only one is really yeah. Yeah. Yeah Well, I mean it's better to use of them better than needed not have it

Yeah, I mean have it not needed that you think Agatha should be in the Nutrients pod just in case? Well, I'm saying it's like, well, it's annoying that we all rely on this one person. Yeah. But we only have one person. We kind of don't have another choice. It gets even crazier because Minority Report has a TV series that is not a prestige remake of the movie, but instead a sequel series. Whoa.

Was it well received? I think it was cancelled after one season. stage remake of the movie, but instead a sequel series. Whoa. And it said- Was it well received? I think it was canceled after one season. So no. What was the reception though? We'll never know. Not good. Okay, the critical aggregator's website, Rodentomatos,

reports a 29% approval rating. So no, not great. Lacking either the action or the imagination of its big screen predecessor, Minor my report is a pedestrian spin-off that fails to capture the vision of the film. Wow, that's a bummer Yeah, but Agatha is one of the main characters of it Whoa, and it's set ten years later and she is a cop and she's using her like powers out of the pod Well, okay, but she becomes the person whose murder she is predicting like Experiencing that it wise kind of what they do with Hannibal where it's like I know you know

This is by design kind of idea. Yeah, okay fair enough like a very so it becomes like a very Experiences an impending. Yeah, it's very funny to turn minority report into cop with the power. Yeah, that's awesome Visions are most traumatizing as she experiences the death itself It's just medium No ghost whisper talks to ghosts whispers yeah whispers medium yeah, they they experience the crime Yeah, what's happening to Alison doois in... Yeah. Dubois. Dubois. Yeah, Alison Dubois in Minin.

Is she fucking becoming the person who dies? I think she has like a bit of a vision. Yeah. That had seven seasons and 130 episodes. And every one of them great. Yeah, all of them bangers. If anything, it's like, yeah, like how they show, like in Hannibal.

Yeah. Yeah, old mate. I've seen medium, haven't seen Hannibal. Not even gift form? No. Yeah, sorry. Oh wait, maybe. Okay, well he kind of is like Will Graham.

Yeah. He's basically like, I know he very much, he's like empathizes with the killer. Oh yeah. I think I have inhaled the show somehow through some kind of form. This is my design. I did this bike because I wanted to do this.

This is my design and the this bike because I wanted to do Put yourself in the shoes of like the killer yeah one of one of my friends had that t-shirt That's how I know that this is my design Consume media by t-shirt Yeah. I've seen Minority Report, haven't seen the TV series. Haven't seen the T-shirt. Haven't seen the, I don't think I've seen a Minority Report. What would you put on a Minority Report T-shirt? I don't know.

Everybody runs? Everybody runs, yeah. That is the tagline of the movie. That is the tagline. Everybody runs. And also the subtitle of the video game. Whoa! Which at the time got mixed reception, but I think in hindsight people are like, this

one's good. That's very funny. A lot of the, I guess, yeah, the multimedia of my report was mixed. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. He doesn't look like your typical posture. You know, long hair, slick back, wears a leather jacket. You know, he's so cool. On a new season of Heaven Bent. And I mean, like, this guy has seen miracles happen.

Beyond Belief, the legacy of Art Lucier and The Harvest. This is a story that's been needing to be told for a long time, and I've been waiting for somebody to tell it. Listen to Heaven Bent wherever you get your podcasts. to be told for a long time. And I've been waiting for somebody to tell it. Listen to Heaven Bent wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. So Agatha, she does show the precock abilities when she's not just in the nutrient pool hooked

up to like diodes, like when they're trying to run from cops, she's like, okay, stand, you know, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then they wait and they're behind balloons. You know, it's like, you know, grab that umbrella, that kind of stuff like that. When she does yell at, at, to run when they're in the thing, like, but then he doesn't run and he gets got. So I don't know. So she can see the future

And that would be very useful if they were cognizant and around because then you could ask them and if you have things where you Can have like the diodes of like you can see what she is see yeah You can use that as your repertoire of evidence So I don't know it just seems that they they have decided like they've got these these people who are very special, very gifted, and they're like, right, put them in a pool, sedate the shit out of them. We're gonna get balls made from wood because grain is important and everyone is unique and that's how we're gonna know who the perp is and who the victim is. Victim is yeah, and you're like, okay But what about instead you didn't put him in in in a pool because I'm guessing if you didn't put him in a pool They'd be employees which mean you maybe you have to pay them This is an easy way of like skimping out on like three pages free label free labor, baby And then and then it's like well after really train my police force that hard

Yeah, because well, they have to do an investigating they just just gotta look at a ball and be like, I know this name. Yeah, the ball system seems... This is Jott Bailey. Murderer and victim. Yeah. Like if Anderson gets it, oh Anderson, sorry, Anderton. Yeah. When Anderton gets his name, as opposed of like, you know, running or like, you know,

I gotta get to the end of this he's like Okay, cuz I got a time when it's gonna happen. Yeah, like 24 hours or whatever so it's like oh, I'm gonna kill this person 24 hours Here's the ball. I am going to sit down. Yeah, I'm not move for 24 put me in a room But it's I know that's the thing with all of this is like why wouldn't you just remove them from the situation where you can? Yeah, but isn't that kind of the way the movie plays out? It's like no matter what you do. Yeah, but the problem here is if he was like well, I hey, I'm I got my this is my name This is the Victor. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, the flux Leo crow. I'm just gonna sit in this here Room with the doors locked like uh-huh

a room with the doors locked. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Well, here's it. I'm gonna piss and shit my pants for 24 hours. Okay, okay, okay. Well, you said you're gonna, it says you're gonna do the crime, so here's the halo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now you're going in the tube. But in the world of the movie, don't we see time and time again that the murder will happen?

No. No. But, I mean, obviously, obviously- There's one scene in the movie- Two scenes. There's the death of Leo Crow, which plays out how it is shown in the vision, except Leo Crow is like, oh fuck, and then kills himself.

Both times the guy kills himself. Well no, the other one, which is when Burgess, he is the perpetrator, and Anderton is the victim. And so it's kind of like like this is where it comes down very in this end of the movie where it's Like and since going like look you you you know the the precox have seen this you plan to kill me They know what is going to happen. Yeah, so either you kill me Mmm, and proving that pre-crime is a thing and that they are pre-crime but you go away or you don't kill me, you don't shoot me Proving that pre-crime doesn't happen, that it isn't predestination that we can actually alter the future

And he doesn't kill you And so what he does is he turns around and shoots himself Okay And so he kills him, which is also proving, well I guess it's like proving the point that yeah It's taking your toys and going home No, no, because it's also proving that yes, pre-determination doesn't work because I am not shooting you so that shows that yes Pre-crime can be prevented, but then he's taking the extra step of killing himself. Yeah, it was probably unnecessary No, cuz I guess cuz then by killing himself. He's removed himself. He's put him

Purp victim and he was the ball was Perpetrator was going to be Burgess. He was like no no no No, no, no, yeah, I'm a big and victim Cuz I guess by killing himself rather than just walking away. Yeah, isn't I? wonder if the logic there in the world of the movie is The pre-cokes saw this but they didn't see the suicide so therefore Well, they saw that way so Anderson getting shot. Yeah, they saw it and didn't getting shot I wonder if for some reason the fact that Burgess by killing himself technically no longer exists. Yeah, so that isn't wrong

It's just a situation that no he's doing basically like I can't deal with it. I don't actually I you're right I can't I don't want to I don't actually I you're right. I can't I don't want to Pre-crime is discredited. Yeah, and then he kills himself also like he does it because he's about to get got for so many like Which kind of is this you know another interesting point with this is the person who kind of like clearly was in charge of this All this like I'm going to choose out of a halo which is another kind of you know against column of like maybe the halos the bad thing maybe the The punishment here seems to be the issue so how often is it right versus how often is it not right?

We don't know yeah, okay. They don't they can't prove that yeah, but usually it's kind usually, their whole point is like, it's 100% disgusting right? There is these things called minority reports. Yeah, where it's like slightly different. Slightly different, which means that there is maybe a bit of a conflict there and they are deleted, wiped away, moved along, we don't know about it. What's the example of a minority report? So the one being the murder of Agatha's mom, which is they show her being drowned and the water's moving one way. And then another one is like,

they show her being drowned and the water's moving another way. So it's a little bit different, but then Colin Farrell is like, well, see, it's different times a day, which probably means that, hey, someone probably saw the original murder, then dressed up like that murderer,

and then murdered the victim. Which is what happened. And then he gets shot. Yeah. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. Yeah. So that's the kind of idea of a minor. Or it's like you know the door opened when it was closed. Yeah, but it's kind of marginal. Very tiny.

Yeah, it's like a marginal difference. So to me it just seems like well, why don't... you see because you could be like, okay the the the Precogs they just can't function in society. You don't have the tools necessary. They're not living in the present They're always living the future. Every like moment is agony and pain for them, right? But then they show them at the end live in a pretty normal happy life. Yeah Yeah, they they are they themselves like I am tired tired of seeing the horrible futures of murders, this sucks for me. But there is a way that they do at least show them being cognizant, moving around a person.

So it's like, well, why don't we just be like, okay, use them as a tool, hire them, pay them to be like- Like what they do on the TV show. Except unfortunately, Agatha then immediately goes back into living the death of all victims. Wow, maybe she needs some of those beautiful drugs or stimulants to make you forget. Yeah, yeah. How many forget-me drugs? Is there an animal we don't care about?

See, I was thinking about this before the show. My brain almost went to dogs. We can't hate about dogs. That's like the main animal we love. So I was thinking about this before the show. Which is like, well, okay, so we know that this drug, not all the time, because it's kind of a thing, it's kind of like this drug that people are taking when they are pregnant will maybe sometimes cause the kid to have precognitive.

Yeah. Maybe. We don't know. So I was like, wow, we already experiment with rats. So why don't we do it to rats and we have precog rats? But the problem there is, I think that, well, we'd be getting a lot of visions of a lot of rat murders. Yeah, and rat murders happen all the time. All the time.

It'd just be like lots of the rat traps. Rats, yeah. And you'd go to the guy who sent the rat trap and be like time for the halo. And then also like, yeah, you'd have like, you know, the ball, which would be like, you know, the perpetrator, which might be, you know, a person. It might just be like that one bird we hate.

Yeah, yeah. And then you get the name of a rat. Yeah. John Rat. Wow. John Rat? Is John Rat a rat or a guy named John Rat? It's all one word. It's all the victims of rats. When would it rat or a guy named John Rat? It's all one word.

It's all the victims of rats. When would it ever be a guy? We're looking at rat thoughts. Well mostly, I'm just saying there's a chance... Rats can kill guys. I don't know if you're familiar with a certain bubonic plague. Well I didn't do it deliberately. Are you sure? Manslaughter's still murder. No, manslaughter's manslaughter. Hold up, let him cook. Manslaughter's still murder. No, man slaughters man slaughters. Hold up, let him cook.

Man slaughters still murder. A rat still died. Send in the police. Little tiny halo on a rat. Put him in the tube. Oh, you'd fit so many. Yeah, you could stack them high. So it can't be an animal.

What if you go closer to person they're like chimpanzee? Yeah, put an ape in the tube Well, that's a good a perters and then and then doesn't really help us because there are the once again showing ape murders Yeah, but like maybe they're close enough. They get a chimpanzee Maybe they're close enough. Well because what the pre-con is detecting. Yeah, okay as if I understand correctly Well, because what the precog is detecting, okay, if I understand correctly, is like a cosmic blip in the universe caused by the destruction of another life. Now, I would argue that the loss of a human life is more of a blip than the loss of a rat life. So I would imagine...

Oh yeah, to Agatha and Bingo and what's it? Well no, because otherwise Agatha would be getting... Well so you're saying it's... It's... Well I don't know. Based on... I would imagine if it's just a general blip, then she's probably just not detecting rats.

Because it's not making enough of an impact. Okay. So she's detecting people, so if you put a rat in there... Yeah. I don't know what the rat thinks is going on when it pre cogs a human murder But well, yeah, I mean a rat living the life of a human only to die for seconds only to die Maybe that's maybe that's good for like as in yeah a rat Experiences higher function for moments before dying. Yeah, maybe those moments of bliss or does that mean that the rat is now

Knows what it's missing out on the the moment you take it out of that tube No, I think it's like a flowers falchion on When the rat goes back to being a rat, it doesn't remember what it was like to be a man Yeah, is it paradise for right a normal human life? Probably is it more fun to be a human than a rat? than a rat. Would you want to be a googly? Do you want to become a rat? What does a rat want?

What could you possibly think of a cat? Don't worry about it. Is it good to be a rat? Is it good to be a rat? Do wats know happiness? Well, the reason why I think a chimpanzee or a gorilla wouldn't be good enough is because well the agatha and that don't have say visions of like a notable animal dying. Yeah, but is a notable animal not enough of a...

Well say pecky animal dying. Yeah, but is a notable animal not enough of a... Well, say, Peke. Spark. Yeah. Alright. Is a human being the only type of living thing on Earth that is giving up? Does Minority Report argue only humans have souls? Yeah, right? Or is it a soul thing?

Is it a thing where it's like, could you say like, okay, there are animals out there that have probably lived better lives than us? Yeah. Definitely more holy lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would they, you know, it's that lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that kind of thing of like, would you kill this dog or would you kill Jackson?

Yeah, exactly, the eternal question. Eternal question. Yeah. That apparently should be easy to answer. Really should be. You would imagine so. It should be. And yet.

And yet. I think, how many people, like everyone, I wouldn't say you've. I think you're the only person, Zabit, who answered dog. I would kill that dog Oh, thank you. Do show no no I was being That has done more my life he's a human being I'm a human being okay. How about this? Yeah? Okay, I shoot you not the dog. Yeah, then that dog in my head for some reason when I think about the situation has to replace you

Actually, that's annoying I'm shooting that dog Look in your face That I hate when like I like dogs. Yeah, don't be looking my face. Yeah, that's fair Some people love that Fuck that it's gross. It's fine to love your dog, but don't let your dog lick your face. Yeah, I agree yuck Yeah, it's a this is why I would imagine Yeah, that like it because it's any any human life which is what I would assume why they're they're seeing the human lives Yeah, there are probably have noticeable animals in the DC area that are dying. Yeah

What does an animal have to do in your mind to have a as notable life as a human being? There are probably noticeable animals in the DC area that are dying. What does an animal have to do in your mind to have as notable life as a human being? Like save a life? When does an animal save the life? It happens all the time. When was? Say a dog saves a kid from drowning. Does that bring it up to my life where I've not saved a kid from drowning?

Yeah. Okay. drowning yeah does that bring it up to my life where I've not saved a kid from drowning yeah okay so dogs kind of it's kind of like reincarnation happening in the dog's life yeah in a weird way yeah yeah like a firefighting dog they seem pretty important oh yeah apparently an animal saving a human life it's very rare and anytime it happens it's very notable. Animals fucking hate us. We save animals all the time. We've got a whole fucking job dedicated to saving animals. That's true. Yeah, this list only lists nine times the animals that are back. What the fuck?

The one you hear about the most is like people's houses catching fire and their dog waking them up to be like, hey, the house is on fire. The dog's just scared because it could smell a wrong thing. Or Clooney's pig that saved his life in the fire. That's right. That pig would pop up on the Minority Report. Dolphins? What about a dolphin that saved a surfer from a great white shark? I think that's notable. Is that saying 2027? Oh no, 2000.

We getting pre-conced? I logged into Minority Report. I'm seeing the future. They're predicting animal lives being saved. It's interesting that in the world of Minority Report, somebody dying is more of a blip than somebody being born Yeah, like we know I guess Someone dying though, it's murder. It's it's a violent crime. Yeah, yeah, but it's only murder Okay, so if someone was to say like, you know shoot you and miss yeah And that's not coming up

Because yeah, if say Predetermined was like I'm going to shoot ah Fuck I've seen what's gonna distract him. I shoot. I'm gonna power through I shoot I think that just makes a tragedy even sad yeah Yeah, I know I say for example. I'm gonna okay. I've got a quiet a gun I'm like I am going to shoot Jackson the arm, but not kill him. Yeah, that is my I I'm planning on doing I'm planning and planning on assault. I want to I want to

I have been getting up to mischief lately Yeah, I guess they it would be the ball would come in and if if if I was predetermined to fuck that up But that could certainly get your head. Yeah, I'd get but getting haloed. Yeah, so man slaughter they still recognize Yeah, but then I was now I was never attempting to murder him I was just gonna shoot him in the arm if you attempted murder and then murder. Yeah Slaughter which is in your words murder. Well, that's manslaughter, which is in your words, murder. I guess manslaughter isn't shown. I think we only see crime of passion and premeditated.

Yeah. Okay. And that's it. That's crazy. But what about say, say you shoot me, you don't intend to kill me. Sorry. Sorry. Say we have a gun on the table. I'm playing. I'm juggling it. I'm playing with it. I can't juggle. So I fuck it up and you get shot. Well, okay. No, no, we know a man slaughter doesn't come up, but say you do intend to kill me But this man slaughter definitely not come up. Well, it doesn't well again. I don't know Movie it doesn't say it does it just simply says murders. Okay. Well, I'm wondering say you you intend to kill me Yeah, that's the plan. Yep, you pull the gun on me. You shoot me and you miss hearing about that dog

Yeah, I'm gonna kill Jackson. So I never have to hear about whether I'm gonna kill Jackson or the dog again. He's making the choice simple for me. If I just kill him. Anyway, you clip me, and I don't die, but somehow that makes me like, I don't know, like I get blood poisoning or something. Yeah, you're very sick. I get very sick, and then I die like a month later in hospital. Yeah. Is it still coming up? From what we see in Minority Report? No. Well then I've just found the perfect way to murder in Minority Report. It's a then and there. It seems to be then and

there. So poisoning, I think is A-OK. That's awesome. Although again, because it's a direct thing. I think poisoning because it's it's you directly doing that yeah yeah they might maybe get visions of like I'm getting a vision he's getting poisoned and it's like yeah Joe Sammett! Dinner is served! Time for your dinner of rat po- cheeseburger I mean! I love rat cheeseburger thanks Jackson! This tastes like poison! What the hell, that's crazy. Well, I mean, no, if you want seconds or thirds, but while I prepare it, you're gonna need to leave the room.

Okay. How did it, Jackson? Family recipe for rat burgers. Rat cheeseburgers. I don't know what Jack puts on it, but those little green pallets that taste like rat poison is delicious. They sure make my stomach hurt and me throw up.

I'm like rats which famously can't throw up. That's funny that I'm trying to kill you with the one thing you can get rid of. Just like looking out from the kitchen as you vomit into the, I don't know, beards. Fuck! Fucking hell. I guess like yeah, with the poisoning, you get like the perpetrator victim and then like the time of death of like you, of finally, of me finally of rat poison. But then they have visions like, yeah, this happened in the past. He's been eating so much rat poison. I mean, sure, he's going to die soon,

but I don't know if we can interfere enough. We're just going to wait. Damn. We're going to arrest the guy, but that sucks. He's dying. I think this guy's been eating rat poison burgers every Friday for the last three years picking out the boys like that boys oh yeah Saturday because like I'm seeing Jackson Friday is always a ride off because I just can't stop eating those burgers. They're so good, dude. Jackson's getting really frustrated for some reason. But he keeps making the burgers even juicier or bigger. The way more of those delicious green pallets. Oh my god.

What about if you engineered a way where like Rube Goldberg style, something you did was going to result in the death of someone. Well, no, because that is what happens in the movie sort of True true true true. It is still murder the whole idea is you have to plan Manslaughter, but then the moment you start planning manslaughter it becomes murder. What about this? I'm a realtor I'll let you continue, but just I'm jumping in here is your plan in this situation to kill someone Yeah, free free coke is seeing it. Yeah, you're in the halo, but please I don't know if I mean we mentioned or we got distracted by orgies or whatever

But you yeah the thought just the thought of trying to murder somebody isn't enough because they do have these pods where you can kind Of go in and fantasize about killing your boss Don't you boys do it? No, no, no, no, I would never I would never so they do fantasize about killing their boss Yeah, and they can go in the pod and do it So that means that they've had the thought and they even have the vision played out for them in this like fan And it's still not enough and like the cops aren't there to arrest them So that's not enough and you need to be like taking the steps the process is to you tell me if This is okay. Okay, so here's the thing. Yeah already. Yes

You're a realtor and the end of this plan you want to kill someone you're under all right Do you know the person you're gonna kill or do you do not care? I don't care Okay, no, that doesn't matter because even if you don't know him, it's still gonna be like that. They're the victim. All right Okay, you're a realtor. You're a realtor. Hey, welcome to you 145 Johnson Avenue a completely asbestos free home here's my secret it's full of asbestos you move in years later okay are you trying to kill someone yes so your plan is I just want to add to my death top like death Yeah, whatever it happens. I'm not far. I gotta get that KD ratio. Yeah Um, I think he done it I think it they're like because well, yeah, yeah, you've installed asbestos

Hopefully with the right equipment Jack. Otherwise, you got yourself I want a ticket clock Otherwise, you got yourself. I want a ticket clock too. So yeah, you've installed Asbestos. And have you done it in a way where, because Asbestos is technically fine, unless it's exposed and being like worked on, right? That's the problem with Asbestos, right?

If we have Asbestos cheating in your house, it's fine unless you start doing, you know, right, so again, how are you? It's decided, I installed it sloppoppily enough that it is in a way exposed and will be affecting the people moving it. How? Because doesn't it need to be cut? Doesn't it need to be like... I shredded the shit out of it.

But it's in the foundation and the walls and stuff. And the ceiling. Yeah. You'd almost need to install a sheet somewhere hidden in the house to just keep pressing against like an angle grinder By the way here's this uh cuffing board gift i've given you I know it doesn't look like um wood yeah but i assure you it is it's a special wood it's a special

to kind of cut but then it's like isn't i don't know how quickly an asbestos cutting board will kill you versus like all Like the microplastics that we're all consuming. Yeah, that's true. Yeah plastic Maybe asbestos will come full circle be good for us in the future Yeah, it'll fix whatever the microplastic it'll cut up all the microplastics in our lungs so that we can breathe them out again Yeah, so I don't know. I don't know if it'll be Look, they're not gonna pick that up Okay, because it's so convoluted and far into the future that I don't think they're gonna notice it. What about this?

One day you'll just be at home and they'll just come in and shoot you. Unrelated. We're just cleaning shops. Yeah, they're cleaning shops. They shoot you. They start vomiting and they arrest you. You're vomiting while you're imagining your past.

You're imagining you putting the sheets of asbestos on a wonderful place. Best day where you're coming up. I'm gonna get this family. Okay. Well, what about me? This is a quicker one. Okay. I say hey welcome to a 145 Johnson. I like you still a real time It's a completely uranium free house. Here's my secret. The house is full of uranium That one'll get you cause what? Uranium poisoning That's pretty quick Asbestos is normal for houses Yeah, uranium rarer

Rarer to find in the walls Yeah And that'll be pretty quick, yeah Well, yeah In a way Like a year maybe A year, maybe more One to five years I'd say I think that one that little show up. Okay, damn it

When but when it shows up it might be too late. Yeah the for the victims. Yeah, okay So they're not saving the victim there. They are just arresting you. Yeah. Well, I still get put at this point Which is unfortunate again. I feel the biggest problem here is the halo in the tube. Yeah Yeah, because even though like the crime of passion when it opens we have the guy who's gonna murder his wife and her boyfriend. Yeah. You know, granted it was a crime of passion. He wouldn't have done it otherwise, unless, you know, he was just like a consumed by rage and emotion. So I think like the best solution here is to be like, alright, they come in, they take all the parties away,

and then they have like, you know, a discussion they have to like, you know have some like a rehabilitation Yeah, but being in a tube forever. Yeah bad because at the end when it's like, oh, yeah We're dismantling and it's just the whole thing was built on lies. Yeah, what? So it's like all built on lies. It's not a hundred percent So, you know what every person we've ever arrested is out Let them free! That's probably a bad idea Which is also bad because okay sure in a system like that. Let's just say it's even

20% yeah 20% is like a bit iffy. I feel 80 80 percent success rate is pretty good I would argue 80 percent success rate is probably better than the current legal system Well, I would say in all of minority report that we've seen you've given me evidence of one time where it didn't work and one guy died still. Yeah, two times where it didn't work, but one time it did work. One time still worked. In my mind, even though it was like they were like, oh, we don't have the right guy or the... And still there was a perp and a victim. You know what, you are right. That's what I'm talking about. That's still...

I will concede, Anthony's still holding the gun. the guy just happens to also push his finger into the trigger. A guy still got shot and died. And then Anthony was holding it, so fair enough. And also, it does also just make things lazy, because you're right, a guy still died, but they don't look into why, they don't look at the motives, they don't look at Anything of like what is potentially happening here like he was set up so they don't even like look into it They're just like nah. He did it in he goes. It just makes everyone involved lazy Yeah, now imagine so imagine now with the cops that we have and the judicial system that we have Currently it's already making me sick Imagine that now and already making me sick without anything else into the mix imagine that now and now you imagine that

lazier Being like well you were there. I guess you did it. Yeah, we got the ball money. Don't talk back Yeah, that's very very accurate to how it is already. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's just that the now you're going in the tube instead of jail. Yeah, yeah. Or being killed in the back of a car. Yes. So yeah, so again, it's, yeah, no way you can like plea your case. No, no.

No way you can be like, no, I died there, hey. Yeah, yeah. This didn't happen. Well, it's a bad system. But on the flip side, they were going to arrest the director, and they were going to arrest their own cop. That's true. Which is true things that would never happen. We're actually kind of, yeah, almost unseen in the current system. This guy is completely unheard of. Our director is about to kill someone, we should promote him. That's more likely what would happen. So the whole incident, the inciting incident, is their head cop is predicted to kill a guy

and there's no one else that's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we need to figure this out, let's make cool the head. They don't. He runs because he knows he's about to get haloed and guess what motherfuckers? They try and halo him without any question. And then the director, so imagine the director of the, like you know, of like the cops, the director of the CIA, who is the head of like the police as a unit? Is that a person? Probably.

Or is it very much like a federal thing, right? I don't know. So it's like the head of the feds, right? Or like the director of the CIA. Yeah. He is, they are proven to be a criminal, they are proven to have like committed a crime in their past, and about to commit a criminal. They are proven to have committed a crime in their past and about to commit a crime.

Yeah. There's no, let cooler heads prevail. They are about to be haloed. Yeah. Which again, in our current system. Yeah, you would never see. Yeah. Well, look, hey,

maybe I- Silver linings. Maybe they've come around. I don't know. I think that the minority report system would be fine if it wasn't for the punishment. Yeah. If there was rehabilitation or counselling. Yeah.

You know. Yeah, some, I mean they clearly learn from the beginnings where they, instead of leaving the victim alone, they do offer counselling to the guy. Well, that's good, but they still put a guy in the tube. But they still put a guy in the tube. You shouldn't put a guy in the tube no matter what they've done. Yeah it goes arrest tube like they like hour one you know what I mean it's just like meh meh you don't even be like but I did it. Yeah. No. In the tube. In the tube. Yeah. Anything's like you're arrested for the death of like the crow and also the

death of Carl and Farrell he's like but I didn't even kill Col- BOOT! In the tube. In the tube. Look, it's a flawed system. Also, there's like one guy protecting the tubes. That's it. And then he gets like, yeah, Thomas's wife just comes in there with a gun and being like, I want my husband out.

And then he does. I mean, that's just one guy. Yeah. It just seems lazy across the board. You also got one guy looking after the precugs. Yeah. It just seems lazy as shit. So if you You've also got one guy looking after the the pre-cogs. Yeah. This seems lazy as shit. So if you could take some of the

minority report system and, you know, cops that are good at their jobs, which, it's never going to happen. Yeah, that is true. It's a flawed system. A flawed system. You might be able to get something good out of it, but as it currently

stands, they fucked it. They fucked it in a different direction. Yeah, they did fuck it in a different direction. Yeah, we fucked it pretty bad. We fucked it. Everyone's fucked it. They fucked it in a different direction. Yeah, we fucked it in a different direction. Yeah, we fucked it pretty bad. We fucked it, everyone's fucked it. They fucked it. We fucked it, it's all pretty bad. But one time a boy fell into an ape enclosure

and then the ape gave the boy back. Whoa! It was a reverse Humber. It was a reverse Humber. Reverse Harambe. Well it can happen. Was it before or after Harambe? It was before.

So there was precedent that maybe you didn't got to shoot that? Still. They still should have shot the gorilla. They made the right choice. That's very minor to report actually. They see the boy go in and they go. There's a gorilla that sees a boy. Predetermination would predict that that gorilla will eat that boy.

Therefore, need to shoot the gorilla. We simply have to. One must imagine the person that shot Harambe happy. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. So long. Goodbye.

This is a good one. Send us your orgy playlists. Yes, please we want to know what are you boning down to? Thank you and God bless. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. He doesn't look like your typical posture. You know, long hair, slick back, wears a leather jacket. You know, he's so cool. On a new season of Heaven Bent. And I mean, like, this guy has seen miracles happen. Beyond Belief, the legacy of Art Lucier and The Harvest. This is a story that's been needing to be told for a long time.

And I've been waiting for somebody to tell it. Listen to Heaven Bent wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, Zamet here, one of the Jolls from middling to okay podcast plumbing the Death Star, not a Star Wars podcast. While my two effervescent co-hosts gallivant around the UK, I'm back here in Melbourne, preparing for the arrival of our firstborn. But I'm not here to tell you about that. I'm here to tell you about a wonderful podcast festival that is happening in October. The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival.

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That's October the 4th to the 6th and across that big pond over in the UK. That's the 12th to the 20th. It's all your favourite funny podcasts all in the UK. That's the 12th, the 20th. It's all your favourite funny podcasts all in one place. Plus, we'll also be there. Crazy. So once again, that's cheerful-eatful.podlifeevents.com. I love you.