Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Use the Powers of a Baby to Rob a Bank?

Episode Date: August 25, 2024

This is pop culture. We swear. Springsteen wrote a song (and a book) so it counts! Outlaw Pete is about a bank-robbing baby whose exploits become a meditation on sin, fate, and free will. Springsteen himself said it’s essentially the story of a man trying to outlive and outlast his sins! Now the sin is robbing a bank and the man is a baby but it still counts! But we here at Plumbing the Death Star ain’t gonna spend any time on that, we’re here today to discuss how you’d rob a bank using the powers of a baby. And not just any baby, a baby that is at most 3 months old. Zero object permanence, no knee caps and a weak fontanelle are just a few of the things in our arsenal to rob a hank. You might be thinking that such a task is impossible and we’re here to tell you that yes, not being able to speak, hold your own neck up or even have man-thoughts are definitely hurdles. But never underestimate the nature of man, or in this case baby, and our willingness to overcome any obstacle put in our way. Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+If you’re in the UK and want to see three beautiful idiots live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see us in Melbourne, London, Edinburgh, Manchester and/or Birmingham. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Back in the late 90s, I was a co-founder of Beetleology magazine. We interviewed people who knew the beetles and celebrities who collected the beetles. We're releasing those recordings for the first time and you'll hear Mark Hamill tell a classic story about meeting George Harrison on a plane. You'll hear Springsteen drummer Max Weinberg talk about what happened backstage the night John Lennon was assassinated and why Bill Maher admired Lennon's political incorrectness. It's a fascinating collection of interviews.

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of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that dares to ask important questions, like how would you use the powers of a baby to rob a bank?

You might be thinking Plummie the Death Star has further lost their mind. Wasn't this once a pop culture podcast? Well guess what, you son of a gun, it still is. This is pop culture because this is a direct reference to the 2009 opening track of the album Working on a Dream. This song is Outlaw Pete by Bruce Springsteen and he's the boss. Oh he's the boss. So, Outlaw Pete, it's a meditation on destiny and like, hey can you change your fate?

It features some very profound lyrics. A lyric like, we cannot undo these things we've done. Pete you think you've changed but you've done. Okay, alright, alright. Pete, you think you've changed, but you've not. Fair enough. So it's okay. So Pete, I'm assuming, is an outlaw. He's an outlaw Pete. And so he's like, well, I've done some terrible things in the past, I've robbed the bank,

now I have a lot of regrets. Because, you know, that's hate, not life, you know? But you did say powers of a baby. Yes. So the opening... So this is... We're gonna be focusing Exactly. But you did say powers of a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. What? So the opening, so this is- We're gonna be focusing on the first Stan's song.

Yeah, the first verse of this song. Yeah. Okay. Which again is the opening track of the 2009 album, which is on the back of like a pretty successful Springsteen album. So everyone was very excited to hear this song. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the lyrics, the opening lyrics of this song is,

he was born a little baby on the Appalachian Trail. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and the lyrics the opening lyrics of these song is He was born a little baby on the Appalachian Trail. Okay normal Yeah, now you get hit with this at six months old. He'd done three months in jail Impressive baby. Yeah Okay here at the bank in his diapers and his little bare baby feet all he said was folks My name is outlaw Pete. Okay. Well first first off. Yeah, so he's he is so it's three months. Yeah, he got arrested Yeah, and three months ago. He got arrested which means that before that he had to have done the crime Yes, which means before three months. It's baby's talking the crime. Yes. Which means before three months, this baby's talking. Not only is this baby talking, it understands the concept of a robbery. This baby's doing-

It understands maybe, I don't know, did he use say like, was he packing hate? Yeah, sorry, the lyrics that I just read there were slightly wrong. I said he stood there or something like that, but it said he robbed a bank in his diapers and his little bare baby feet. All he said is my name, my folks, my name is Outlaw Pete. Okay, so he robbed a bank in his diapers with his little bear baby feet. Yeah. Okay, okay. Now, but Zamek, you're right.

At three, and we will get to how we'd rob a bank using the powers of a baby, but we have to untangle this first, so at three months old, cause is robbing the bank the crime that Outlaw Pete, the bank he robs later in that verse, is that the crime that he's jailed for at three months old? Or at three months old he's just done three months of jail. Hey, what crime gets you three months in jail?

Oh, what's the... Well, it's not saying at six months he was freed, it's just saying I was... That's true actually. I currently have only done, you know, I've done three months of say you know 15 to life you know what I mean it's it's so yeah, so he's robbed it three months ago. Yeah, it was Three months three months old well. He's sorry. He was arrested three months. Yeah We don't know if he was arrested necessarily for a robbery when you okay crime when you were enough to try a baby isn't No, but when you What crime is big enough to try a baby as an adult? Well, I guess bank robbery, right?

So when you arrest, sorry, when you do a bank heist, rob a bank, and say it's like one of those ones don't get thrown like you know in jail straightaway. That's true. Have they got over trial? Yeah So yeah, how long ago did he get? Then there was the trial yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know the legal system I'm not a lawyer for an outlaw in cowboy time. Yeah, that's true In cowboy time he's lucky he wasn't hanged honestly. Okay, so it's cowboy time. It's not modern times? Yes, it's cowboy time. I think it's implied to be cowboy time Okay, so then maybe it's not as much due process like they might not have a back catalog of People don't appear to be driving cars in this time, but they do have guns Yeah, okay, so it's like the wild west all right, so then it's okay

So let's say best-case scenario three months ago. He tried to Rob a bank straight away. They were on the wind yes, you know Is three months old there's no walk yeah, I'm crawling away He's lying around doing some key facts from a three-month-old baby. No, at three months old, he's not really crawling. He's lying around. Do you want some key facts from a three month old baby? I would love to. This is at the age in which a baby may be smiling and cooing, reminding you how great it is to have a baby.

At three months of age, babies are gaining more control of their heads, hands, and legs. And you may notice them moving more deliberately. While they're not yet fully mobile Yeah, you still need to keep a close eye on them and make sure to put safety first at all times You'll be amazed at how quickly a baby grows, but that's normal after all They're still spending a fair amount of time eating and sleeping. Yeah, uh-huh. So my very good friends I have like I think it's there now be five months hasn't quite learned how to roll over yet

But do you think it's not yet if a baby rolled into a bag mm-hmm with a gun Mm-hmm. Do you think that that like that would be enough because I would be Concerned about where those bullets would be going you know a hundred percent I I don't know if a baby has the other tensile strike the whole book. Well, I think strength in the trigger. Yeah, you know what I mean? You just googled baby with God. Yes. Well, that's good research Is this potentially a thing where say you've got a baby proposed? Oh, and the baby is Babylon because once again at at three months not really forming words. Yeah. Yeah, it's mostly like I said that little Pete kind of is and that but is it a thing once I there you got a baby who you

Yeah, and it's doing some babbles and you're like the baby would like to rob you. Yeah Yeah, the baby would baby want money the baby. That's a crazy way to rob a bank. I don't know I don't know I got nothing to do with this. This baby here, watch your money. My baby's crazy. I'm an innocent normal man. This baby though, ill intent. My baby's crazy and then they hand you the sack and you're like I don't want this sack. I don't want it. But my baby can't hold it so I'll just say. If you could just put it in the pooh poohs, just that'd be great. Maybe stuff it down my derps. Yeah, that would also be good too. Maybe the baby's derps Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Either way I need that mean the baby wants the money and if any wants to go to jail it will be my baby It will be baby. I will say that we get a little bit of more information in the second verse

It may help the time served and the crimes committed. Okay Okay, so we now get some extra information that at 25 a Mustang pony he did steal. Okay. And they rode around and around on heaven's wheel. I'm guessing Earth. Yeah. Probably. That's a type of thing. So it's 25 years old. Yes, they're out and they steal a pony at 25 but they also pray in this verse and say, father Jesus, I'm an outlaw killer and a thief. And I slowed down only to sow my grief. Okay. Could this be a thing where they've, uh, the baby it's done. It's a, it's a, it's a three months old. Yeah. Held up a bank, robbed the bank, maybe it went wrong. Maybe

it went wrong. Oh, we don't know. there's like between Three months and 25 years. Six months and 25 years. Six months and a lot of years. We don't know. Yes anyway Yeah, so what happens maybe the judge was like this baby ill intent robbed the bank now Maybe so it's like usually this kind of I don't know What is the general census of like oh, this is the kind of time served Yeah, like you've got the bank. Therefore. You should do say 20 What are you racking for robbing a bank? Let's decide here right now plumbing that I say how much time would you give someone for? Robbing a bank. Well in Australia the max sentence is 24 years Yeah, I was gonna say 20 a lie for some reason 20 depends depends what they're doing

I'm probably is it like within Is it violent? Arm robbery is it like within- I'm rockin' give me a year Is it violent? Arm robbery give me a year What's happening exactly? Hey look at that lesson Cause like you know they're threatening people

You know what I mean? Arm robbery should be a slap on the wrist Yeah Okay No Hey don't do it again Three strikes Come on

I'm just wondering maybe the judge or the police or whoever was like sentencing baby was like well if we give him if he's out and if we can take some like assumptions here, he's out in three months, that's half his life. Yeah, that's true. So say, you know, it's, it's like the whole thing is like, all right, if you do it at like, you know, you rub a bank at say 20, are you getting 10 years? That's true. That's true.

Is it just like, look, he's young. He's young. He's young. We'll give him, we'll give him half his life. Half's true. Yeah, is it just like look he's young. He's young. He's young. We'll give him we'll give him half his life Half his life. Three months. And also, you know if I'm a judge. If I'm a judge I'm sitting there thinking he's a baby Yeah, he probably didn't know what he was doing three months in jail will be enough to get a little scare and strain. Baby Pete We sentence you to three months in jail. Oh

I'm a little baby with my little baby feet, dude. Gugugaga. Also, it doesn't say that Outlaw Pete used anything. Just his lethal, maybe. Yeah, that's his little baby feet in his diaper. Like in Konyr, how Nicholas' cage is. Sure. Yes. What's his character's name on that? Anyway, how. Scooter? Well, Nicholas' cage is... Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

What's his character's name on that? Anyway, how... Scooter? Yeah, Scooter. Yeah, sure. It could be. Scooter Cage, he goes to jail because he tries to defend his wife's honor and accidentally kills a couple of fellas with his lethal weapon fist.

His name is Cameron Poe. Poe! Put the bonnet down. Yeah, all right. Could it be that maybe, the little adult bait, maybe his feet. A lethal weapon?

His little baby feet. His little baby feet? He kicks someone's head clean off. Have you ever been kicked by a little baby? Yes. Oh, they've got some power there. They have, dude. Oh, they've got some power.

Babies kick me all the time. That's the first thing they learn how to do really. Yeah that's true. Kick it from inside. Babies are really good at kicking. They're very kicky. And then as we get older we kind of retire the kick a little bit. Yeah we don't kick as much.

Unless you're playing sport, a lot of sports feature kicking. When do you reckon we jump the most? When you're like 10. 10 is the prime jumping age. Then you jump less and less. Sometimes you still gotta jump off something. Yeah. Very rare, okay.

Yeah, but as an adult, you don't really have to jump off or jump over stuff. They're all choices. Yeah, it's true. So you're a kid and you see those, like a fence where it's like, you know, like a bit of brick, then like a big bit of brick, and then a little bit of brick.

And like, so a kid, you might be like, you know, jumping on, you try and climb up, you jump, you keep jumping, right? At what age does that become like, freak-o territory? Yeah, that's true. At what age are you like, oh, look at that kid go, oh, freak, he's a freak.

There's a weird freak over there. I think the, so the fence, the brick fence situation you've painted me, I don't have an answer for. But I think that as an adult, the last thing that it becomes appropriate to jump over is a fence. And I think even that as you age,

you age out of jumping over a fence. Like, but like if you see, do you reckon I could get away with, so at like an oval, how there's a chain link fence, it's like, like just over waist height. If I like lunge over it. Why what's the scenario? You lunging or you jumping? Yeah, I'm not like

Are you doing a big or are you doing that awesome thing where you like kind of put one leg up and then Vaulting it Yeah, like a pommel horse situation Okay, that's a pommel horse move where you... Okay. I think that's a pommel horse move. Where you, so you're walking up to the fence, both hands on it and then like swing your legs over. And you're landing both legs on the other side at the same time? Is there a gate nearby?

No. Okay, if it's out of necessity, I think it's awkward and you're likely to hurt yourself. No, okay, no, no. Say you see me do it and it's like there's no No issue like is in like I don't even think about it No, it depends on the kind of like if you're like doing the thing where your legs are together Like like it is a pommel horse kind of thing. Yeah, like with both legs. They land at the same time I'm like, are you my fun gymnast? Yeah, like damn doosers more athletic than I thought. I can do that over a French

Like you're keeping your legs straight like like a perfect. No, no, I'm like damn, do you just more athletic than I thought? I can do that over a fence, it's not that hard. No, I know, I know, like you're keeping your legs straight, like a perfect... No, no, no, I'm not talking perfect, I mean, just kicking my... walking up to a fence, doing that, kicking my legs over landing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I'm probably not batting an eye. And I think as well, up to a certain age, probably somewhere in your late 40s, I reckon you can get away with this, if you're drunk and there's like a fire hydrant or a witch's hat that's quite tall...

You have to be drunk though? Yeah, you're like, you reckon I a fire hydrant or a witch's hat That's quite tall. You have to be drunk though. Yeah, you're like you reckon I could jump this everyone says yeah And then you jump over it and it gets caught in your pants That's a layout. Well, maybe you get hit in the nuts. Yeah. Yeah big time. What about um, so like like logs I don't like a log fence type thing where it's like maybe up to your below your knee Yeah, shin type thing and you know know you can like step on it and jump you can just like you know You could easily clear it and there is definitely like in between areas where there's no log

You can walk over and you decide to maybe do a step on to log and then do it like a jump off it I think Sam is having a wonderful fun time. I'm not yeah. Yeah, I think that's a lot. Late 30s are fine Late 30s are fine. Late 30s are fine. What about climbing up? Oh wait, we're asking. Mid 40s? Mid 40s are fine. We're asking Jackson.

You can do a little jump. A little jump's whimsical. I was like, I just remember who we're asking. We're asking Jackson who likes to stand at the train station and just do a little jump, because he's listening to music. Sometimes you gotta do a little jump in this life. Are you so devoid of whimsy and joy

that you've lost the ability to have a fun little jump your two you're too old to be just doing a jump You can do it. You're giving off fucking rants in As that freak Man and I hope he's not getting on the same Armed it still counts as armed robbery if you just use a scary item. Like a baby's foot? Yeah.

Terrifying. So, and also it's 25 years max time in Australia. Damn, that's too long. So you're using a weapon, offensive instrument, guns, knives, syringes, yeah. Other instruments you can serve as a weapon for such purposes. Yeah, like a big stick or whatever.

Yeah, something like that. Imitations of firearms, explosives for such purposes. So like a hammer or something like that. Imitations of firearms, explosives, or something that looks like a gun and uses of other scary items. What would that be? Another scary item? Like a fake bomb? Bag full of spew?

Bag full of spiders? Bag full of spiders? If you're up to bag full of spiders, that's probably, that's armed robbery. You were armed with a bag full of spiders. Yeah, you're threatening bag full of spiders, that's probably, that's armed robbery. You were armed with a bag full of spiders. Yeah, you're threatening to throw the spiders at people, then yes. I'm not threatening, but I am holding the spiders close. And it's a little open.

And I'm like, there are spiders in here. I do have spiders in this bag. And there's a lot of them. It'd be real cool if you put some money in that bag of spiders. You hand the bag over, they're like, well now I got a bag of spiders. Oh no! I just think it's funny to go and forget like you've forgotten your money bag. Put the money in the... oh fuck Okay, I'm gonna open the bag and the spiders are gonna want to get out

But I need you to know you can shove the money in so fucking quick dude. You gotta be quick I'm gonna trust you with the bag of spiders. Yeah, and then I'm gonna have to... oh fuck Do you have any spider poison there? Because I'm gonna have to get the money out of the bag, and then I have to huh fuck Do you have any spider poison there? Probably killed all the spiders They're really angry hang it let me just go inside to see if I can get rid of the spiders in the bag Okay. All right. So so outlaw Pete he's robbed the bank the oppressive age of three months Yeah, yeah, I'm three months in prison uh-huh so probably probably not armed robbery. Yeah Then he's out at 25 steals a pony yeah, then whatever happens outlaw Pete is of no concern to us

But if you are curious to what happens outlaw Pete he gets married settles down But then a bounty bounty hunter Dan rolls into town. Yeah And he's like he changed a man That's Dan's of the opinion Yeah, I'm a change you know cuz Dan found Pete Peacefully fishing by the river Dan pulled his gun and got the drop and said Pete you think you've changed, but you have not mmm Well look hey, it's time to pay the bike You think you've changed, but you have not.

Well look, hey, it's time to pay the piper. He cocked his pistol, pulled the trigger and shouted let it stop. And at this point you're probably like, oh no, Pete. But instead Pete drew a knife from his boot and threw it and pierced Dan through the heart. Yeah, see? He hadn't changed. Dan smiles as he lay in his own blood dying in the sun and whispered in Pete's ear, We cannot undo these things we've done. Yeah, you can't Escape the past You can't change

You gotta pay you like you can you gotta take your lumps gotta take your lumps rates Your rates your rates You gotta pay your rates. You gotta pay your rates. Pay your rates. Then he takes an interesting turn. Where for 40 days and 40 nights, he rides and doesn't stop. And then he gets to the top of a mountain.

Oh yeah. And he watched a hawk on the desert. Okay. And then he moved to the edge of the cliff, and then dug his spurs into his pony side. Yeah. Okay. So his last action on earth is to also kill a pony Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much

Pretty much Truly our love beat had not changed Yeah, he's like okay. I have done a lot of like you know crime in my life a lot of meters Maybe I feel like guilty. I need to like all right. I'm gonna try you okay I I need to now you know I guess yeah, hey my right and these were tone I'm gonna you know I'm doing this by killing myself and this here horse Well, I think if you're a cowboy in a strange way your horse is complicit in your crimes I Think if you're a cowboy you're evil yeah

The horse absorbs your sin and if you're a good person, you have a good horse. I kind of agree with you. I think the horse will absorb the vibes of the writing. Say you're a bad guy in cowboy times, you go to a farm and you kill everyone. The horse witnesses that. Doesn't do anything to stop you. Sometimes you're on the horse and you're like... And then you're like, hey horse, when I go like, you know, close to that guy, kick him in the head.

Yeah, exactly. And the horse is like, brrrrrrr I mean? The horse is an amoral creature. Yeah, that's true. Horse starts neutral. Are we, is sin inherent or does it come from the things we've done? Well, that's kind of what Little Pete's asking. If a horse kills a man out of malice, is that an act of evil or is that an act of horse?

Well, okay, you say out of malice though. And at the moment we're like, well if you know the cowboy He is like a horse do that and you'll get a carrot. He's not doing it out of real malice He's doing it sweet He doesn't know that like the idea of that like if I kick a man he dies. He doesn't horse don't know Yeah, that's your horse. Oh, no horse. Just know if I kick a man, I get a carrot. And that's pretty damn good. Yeah. But if the horse is like, I know, if there is malice deep within that giant horse heart of it,

then he kicks a guy with ill intent, yeah, that's a sin. That's a sin, that's a horse committing an act of evil. If without any prompting, like say the outlaw Pete, and the horse just goes at it, then yeah, it's evil horse. And I think, you know, in a way the horse absorbs some of that evil from its rider too. Do you think you should be able to... So say Outlaw Pete doesn't potentially jump off a mountain riding a horse to his death. Yeah.

And instead gets arrested. Should the horse also be tried for his crimes? Well, I was going to say that. Or if you, like, can you betray your horse? I'd be like hey coppers give me a discount on my sentence at discount. Yeah Yeah, I just got my yeah. Well this comes down. I'll give you the location of the bad horse Yeah, well this comes down to like you know we're saying before I don't want to run the baby's robbing. Yeah Yeah, yeah, the horse killed that guy. No me. I didn't tell the horse. It was all this is robbing the bank I got what I didn't tell the horse to do shit dude. The horse is robbing the bank I got what I gotta serve the horses time this is messed up

Send the horse to horse James Come on Okay, what about this? Let's imagine you were the sheriff of a town done and it doesn't have to be outlaw Pete But a bad black hat cowboys come in and him and his horse. Yeah, the horse killed people too in the fracas Okay, maybe it was a bar a bar brawl. He just started firing at people and the horse was kicking guys in the head yep now you're hanging the guy yeah cuz he's committed a crime the horses left to you okay are you gonna a kill the horse to sell the horse take the horse for yourself it's a good horse

mmm I think that if you hang a guy you're probably shooting the horse okay but it's a good horse good horse I'm gonna I'm gonna give them I'm gonna sit down with a horse. Yeah, what's the opposite me? But I'm gonna I'm gonna have a couple of options for the horse. Yeah, give me the horse the choice I'm gonna make horse you've done some crimes. You know that you've done some crimes and here is you can redeem yourself Yeah, so on this side of like maybe the table. I have say a noose Okay, you know what that means on the other other side maybe the table, I have say a noose. And you know what that means. On the other side of the table is maybe say,

no, a gun. Like a six shooter. So either- The horse is using its method of execution. No, no, no, no, no, no. Either you're gonna look, you're gonna work for me. You're a bad guy, so you're a bad horse. So you can work with me so that we can go

and get those bounties and then round up all the bad, other bad horses and bad, you know, cowboys out there. Or, you don't wanna do that? It's the noose. It's the noose. Your choice, horse. I like watching, imagining me and you do shows, cowboys, other police or whatever,

looking through in the stable, and the horse starts chewing the noose, and Zam, it's like, the horse will be hanged. We're like the sheriff is gone. I'm gonna tell him not to, but he will hang me. I think I might go down to the town square and watch this. The horse has chosen the noose. The horse is not repentant.

The horse didn't choose shit. The horse doesn't want to. The horse probably just wanted to chew on some rope. Yeah, dude, the horse. The horse was so. to. The horse probably just wanted to chew on some rope. Yeah, dude, the horse? The horse was so ripped. There's nothing appealing about putting a gun in your mouth. The horse doesn't want to chew a gun, but it might want to chew the rope.

We gotta figure out the gallows for a horse. That's bad. I think it's the first time you put it in, it drops, it falls down a bit, it just like lands, or it's like the weight of the horse breaks. The hole is big enough for a guy. The back of the horse goes in. It just gets stuck.

It either gets stuck, lands or breaks the top. You know what I mean? I think that it probably just gets a bit spooked. Some of its legs fall out. Then it just like trying to panic Gallows. But it still goes the noose around its neck. Sheriff's Amett being like, the horse is escaping the law! What's better, hanging the horse or putting in like a stockade?

Oh stockades good. Throwing a tomato at a horse. Throw a tomato at a horse, you can get behind it and smack its rump. Do not recommend. If I get behind it I'm gonna Kicked in the head by the horse. Cause it's gotta be, oh it's gotta be low down as well. Yeah, that's true to be lying on its front. I don't know how it could kick. It's gotta be a very uncomfortable horse. I say we exile it.

We tie this horse to a mule, slap the mule's ass, set it up into the wilderness. The mule and the horse start walking opposite directions. Fuck. Just like you have a horse that's like rolls and now the mules want me to back. You will not evade justice horse.

I think no matter what happens, this is ending with you opening fire on the horse. Yeah, absolutely. The horse seeks to escape the long arm of the horse. Yeah, well that's the ballad about Lorpheet. And yeah, he robs a bank at the age of three months. At 25, he stole a horse and killed a guy. And then sometime after that, he's married, a father,

kills himself by riding his horse off a mountain. Now, if we were a baby or had the powers of a baby. Had powers of baby, how we robbing a bank? So, no kneecaps. Soft fontanelle. Can barely hold my neck up? Uh-huh. No verbal skills, what's the Babylon coup

Loves to be swaddled. Yeah, yeah gasy gasy Very gas Are they all gassed basically? This place, I've maybe burped some farts come out there. Dude, you know what, colic, it's not good, man. You gotta burp a baby, you also gotta fart a baby. How do you fart a baby? So you get their legs and you kinda gotta do one of them.

So you put them on their back, you grab their legs, and you kinda gotta do like a little, like a little, like, I guess they're riding a bike or whatever, and you kinda push them up against it, and then they let it rip. And I tell you what, watch it like a, a little baby do like a human fart, you're like, damn! That's crazy. Damn girl, that's some, I don't know what's going on there, but you're like shaking the house, and you know it's like a new What do you think it's a pure fart because it's from a baby? It's more pure than my fart. I'm farting through a 32 year old system dude Yeah, okay, nah I get it, I get it This rig's sloppy. A baby, that's a fresh, that's a fresh usage. A's part is fresh off. That's it's all like yeah

I guess you know it's also that look milk farts really yeah, baby has never eaten a hamburger Yeah, I've eaten several But you've also probably done plenty of milk farts in your life Like cow milk yeah, I've got that exclusive milk Yeah, and you also haven't done breast milk farts, at least in the last- Fellas, I'm on the breast milk diet. I get to eat as much breast milk as I want. Oh, do you now?

End of sentence. Ah. Right? Uh-huh. Right. Right. Who told you about this diet, dude? This guy I met on the bus. Oh, was he drinking breast milk? No, no, no.

What was he saying about it? He was just saying, it's just like an awesome thing to do. He just said like, it's one, it's cheap. Yeah, right. Really? I see, cause I think regular milk is probably cheaper. You don't want to be drinking that apparently. Well, I guess, I, look, if you...

Why not? Well, it doesn't come, look, if you, if you... Why not? Well, it doesn't come from a person. You're a person. Yeah, cause if you have a, like, if you are breast... It's salt. If you're breastfeeding. Cause I'm on the breast milk diet, too. No, no, it makes sense. I think it would be cheaper than milk. You get to drink as much breast milk as you like. Yeah.

Yeah, you see breast milk, you get to drink as much as you like. Exactly, you know? I'm on the breast milk diet. I breast milk and I drink it. It's just, it's just like, well, you know, you don't have to go to the store and, you know, pay for a bottle. Yeah. Depending where you're sourcing it.

I don't have breast milk in my house though, so I'm gonna have to go somewhere. I understand this, but if you have access to- Do the hospital have supplies of breast milk? They probably do, yes. Are they gonna give it to me? Probably. No, they are not. Can I buy it?

I, if you- Online. Online? Online? Can you buy it? If you use it. Online? Can you buy breast milk online? I'm sure you could. From normal places? Bro, no. Well, when you say normal places, what do you mean? Places where I don't have to use a different browser.

It's not illegal to buy, oh wait, would it be? It's technically a biohazard, right? I don't know. If you're delivering it because it's um Do I have to go to the black market to get my breast milk? No! Look, from Mother's Milk Bank Charity, 0.5 litre frozen PDHM, 5x 100ml bottles of breast milk, baby 75 bucks. Okay it's not as cheap as I thought it was. So I'm assuming they're selling it, I'm assuming, not to Perlans yeah

maybe if you're buying it for Perlans reasons it's cheaper maybe if you're buying it for Perlans reasons it's cheaper no, no, I don't think so I think it's uh based on our research it is not safe to buy breast milk online based on our research it is not safe to buy breast milk online it doesn't do FDA, right? it doesn't pass any regulations?

well of course it would that's okay fellas You do okay FDA right? Yeah, it's like doesn't pass like any regulations Here's the thing I think is a thing okay if a man gets scared enough Begins to lactate So all we have to do is every morning find the most frightened man scare ourselves a little bit a bit of a self suck but not the way you think you gotta have one of those a different way

a haunted house mirror for your bathroom mirror where you're looking in it and then it goes I've never been so scared I've lactated and then you're lactated but I do how scared is the most scared you've ever been? woah that's a huge question and then like I did you like

Turn that up yeah, so I remember a time. Yeah, when I was younger and One of my brothers he lactated okay, and it was very very weird and strange We've heard to the doctor because everyone was like that shouldn't happen Those things should be doing that do that and I think it was just yeah during puberty Okay, I guess somewhere on. Okay, so I was like okay So it's possible. We can do it. It only happened that once that I'm aware of. Yeah, well maybe the breast milk diets got its flaws Yeah, also, what's the benefits? Well you drink as much breast milk as you like. The Food and Drug Administration Also recommends against acquiring breast milk.

Oh, recommends against. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just asking why would you... The benefit is you get to drink as much breast milk as you like. Do bodybuilders buy breast milk online? I know that. I do love sometimes reading about the bodybuilders who follow the one gallon of milk and they die. That's awesome. That's great when you read people being like, I'm drinking a gallon of milk and I'm

currently shitting myself. Is it working? I guess you would be doing... Also, it's like, yeah, I guess I'm drinking a gallon of milk and sure I could lift I can lift heaps. Is it yeah, I guess I'm drinking gallon of milk and sure I could lift I can But I'm bloated yeah, I guess the two people out there doing milk farts are bodybuilders and babies This Facebook groups in Australia felicitating yeah Felicitating lactation the donation or sale of breast milk

The donation or sale of breast milk. The about section of one group states, please post milky requests, offers and milk sharing questions. So I mean, it's not for bodybuilders. Maybe not intended because like, like, yeah, there's some people out there, they would like to breastfeed, but they can't breastfeed. Yeah, sure, sure. There are different reasons. And so yeah, they, you know, they do need breast milk donations, those kind of things. I know when I think it was my mother was pregnant with one of the one of us, I think it was the eldest one, like, yeah, she was producing so much that like, yeah, she's got a hospital, basically like, yeah, donating it to the ward. And when you

are breastfeeding and that or if you're pumping, sometimes you're like, well, I can't use this baby can't drink at all, can't drink at all. Or like, you know, it's the right time or whatever, whatever. And sometimes it's gonna get dumped. So if it's like, excess. If it's going away anyway. It's going away, and you're hungry. I'm hungry.

And you're fine. Your immune system is stronger than the baby's. Yeah, yeah, dude. My immune system's crazy. You could drink it, bro. Yeah, exactly. I can have a little breast milk. Well, apparently cancer patients drinking it

under the belief that it will treat their disease and athletes and bodybuilders who believe breast milk enhances performance and muscle growth. Yeah. There is no strong evidence to support either of these claims. Yeah, just like the people that like every morning, I love to piss in a jar and then drink it. Yeah. Because it's purity or whatever. That's crazy.

And you're like, uh-huh, uh-huh. The thing your body hated so much you had to get out your penis Well the people who are like yeah, I've been trying the urine eye drops and all that's happening is I'm getting an eye infection What's happened? I think you think you fucked it. Yeah, anyway, don't piss in your eyes is what we're saying Yeah, yeah, which is crazy advice that you have to give but it's it's worth to give it. Yeah Yeah, which is crazy advice that you have to give but it's it's worth to with given. Yeah Okay, how's of the baby tells it to heist?

The one thing it's got going for it. No object permanence. That's also true. Okay, cute. Yes. Okay. Yeah Yeah, like if you get caught mmm with the powers of a baby now, they interrogate you and you blink You have forgotten where that money is I don't know who was there. I mean look if the cops start playing like peekaboo with me. Oh, yeah, that's that beard on their head. You know exactly So I guess yes with the powers of baby. I want to know one am I baby? Two can I turn into baby or three do I use am me now but baby? The third one is truly the most Give you a soft fontanelle. No kneecaps very loose bones

I can't on and off it will Oh shit! Give me your money! Money! Give baby money! Give baby money! Oh my god, this man with a literal baby face and a loose neck Give baby money! Put money in your... You're not even holding the gun properly

Baby, like, so yeah, skin is like all that baby fresh skin My arms become a little bit shorter That's great You got a loose neck and bad fingers a little bit more pudgy. Yeah, like all like the different like weight I don't see you not standing. You're just like lying on your back. Yeah, I'll be like this man got sick very Give me give me your money, please. I know baby one. I'm a fully grown man. I want money anyway Why is he turning into, he robbed the bank normal style and then becomes a baby. Yeah.

No man will ever arrest a baby for these crimes. I think robbing the bank normal style and then when you're about to get caught, using the power of baby. That's in interrogation and in say like in a court. That's great. Cause you know, you can't, you can't. You can't arrest a baby.

You can't trial a baby, you know, give a man crimes, a man sentences. Outlaw Pete did spend three months in jail. Yeah, for robbing a bank, which you get 25. So it's pretty decent. That's, that's all good. It was a first time offender, I guess. I guess you could just rob the bank regular style and when the cops come to arrest you, turn into a baby and be like, goo goo gaga and be like, well, this guy couldn't have done it this is a Yeah, but then I'm like whose baby is this? I'm like the robber left a baby

And if I am with the powers of baby, and I turn myself into a baby I Don't have the thought to turn myself back Once then you have to grow up Yeah I have the thought to turn myself back, right? You can only go baby once. Then you have to grow up. Yeah. What happens to my memories? Gone. If you can become baby, you become baby.

Then you grow up to man. Can you become baby again? No, cause you're in baby form. Oh, can you become man? Yeah, you become you as you were when you made baby Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then you could become baby again, but that's just you grown up So maybe older or younger depend when you realize you have to It's a great way to live forever

Wow, no live two lives two lives sort of like one and a half two lives been the same time frame Why don't I cause cuz you So you go baby, six months. You age back up to 38 or however old Zam it is. Now, then you can let that baby grow up to be 90. About to die. Whoa! Then you got one more go up

to 90. So really, the best time to be baby is when you're about 90 or 80 or whatever. Then you have an extra 80-90 years. Yeah, exactly. Would you do anything different? Time already time is gone, but when you become baby you have no memories There's no real reward to doing that because You wouldn't know Everyone that you know love and care about you dead if you're 90 and then do it by the time you realize

Grandchildren coming into check on grandpa's amit over. Yeah me like Yeah, so if you become like if you're young yeah, you wouldn't know Okay, yeah, because if you went babied and then you grew up, but you would just be like oh wait Hey, who my parents yeah, we found you one? Like, no, we found you one day. We found you one day in the deathbed of Joel Zammert. You do look like Joel Zammert, but... I think he's Phoenix'd. I think when you hit 90, you'll become a baby again.

And then you just died, I'm like, what? Yeah, because like, or it's like, yeah, I guess you were the illegitimate child, maybe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of thing. The illegitimate child born to a man of 90 years old well Yeah What else you explain explain it and also cuz like you'd never think to go back

Yeah, because you'd never think you had that power Yeah, of course especially if you were in the death like the deathbed or you in someone's house Yeah, if you're cops are there. I'm yeah saying I'm 20. I'm a bag at 20. I'm like oh no quickly become I know that power I'm gonna write myself Hey, baby me The money is under the floorboard or whatever and I make sure I put that somewhere. Yeah, I turned to a baby Can't read that's gone where to go

Are you on the money? It's in us. It's somewhere Yeah If you're in a house and then they raise you in that house and you find that at 20. Yeah, but why would they raise me? Why would they raise me in that house? Yeah, they wouldn't. They wouldn't. Again, I'm single.

Yeah. I can, I've robbed the bank. I've maybe gone to a motel. Yeah. Maybe it's a El Royale one night at McCool's or whatever it is. I go there. I'm like, all right, I'm going to do exactly what they did. I'm going to dig under this thing. I'm going to put whatever I go there. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna do exactly what they did I'm gonna dig under this thing. I'm gonna put the money in there

I'm gonna bury it and then I'm gonna whatever and then it's gonna be like hey, you know, baby me No money's like, you know, yeah, whatever put it somewhere. Maybe my diaper Put it somewhere like Baby me will see this I didn't make sure that I'm not in that room Yeah, go somewhere else different room because if I know one baby a cop said yeah, yeah, I go to a different room I then turn to a baby. I'm a baby. Yeah Hopefully hopefully someone finds me Baby can't survive that long for a bit. So, hmm.

What's it called? Is it negligence? Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, what's it called? The death by, cause the baby if you just put it- Negligence? Is it negligence?

Yeah. Just the like, if you just put a baby down for too long and don't care for it, it just dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty much, yeah. Negligence. All right, so then hopefully I'm like, all right, so someone will check with me.

I turn to baby. Yeah. Cops come in, they're in like who's this baby? They're like, yeah, and then they go well alright Well, we put him up for adoption. We were trying to find that that the criminal Joel's admin I don't know where he is, but I guess we're gonna put this baby into the system babies now into the system grows up He's not there's no one that's gonna tell him about the robber To have that connection he's lost in the systember. There is no one there to have that connection.

He's lost in the system. I grow up, one day maybe, maybe I like somehow see a photograph of like, yeah, this guy stole a, stole a robber bank or whatever and then disappeared. I'm like, how does he look like me? How do I activate my power? I don't know. What if you do a thing where you you write... You write a note that says baby me there's money under the floorboards

you hide it somewhere then you might write another note that says raise me in this motel stick it to your forehead become a baby yeah the cops are like well okay we gotta raise him in this motel that's what the baby wants yeah the baby's got that note but then when you find baby me mon Yeah, the baby's got that note. But then when you find baby me money's under the floorboards, I guess I just ignore the baby me part. But then I don't know what to do with the money, because I don't know that I robbed the money. And also, if you can't find it, because it's like under the floorboards. What floorboards?

Give me more information! What money? What are you talking about? I will throw that note away and never find the cash Yeah, yeah, yeah, especially if you're a baby and you take it away from it saying yeah, say maybe look That's the best case scenario. It's it's a house that you had you know, you somehow are like, oh, yes You get back to a way. Yeah, it's like when you finally learn how to read. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that's a big hurdle. Yeah. Yeah, what are-

Power of Baby Scary. Let's explore Joldish's object permanence. Uh-huh. So the cops come. Oh. You've, now, are you- I get scared for a bit. Are you a baby or are you a man

with a baby's object permanence? I'm a man with a baby's object permanence. Can you turn it on and off? Yes. You will need that because otherwise you'll be like, take me to the vault and and they'll be like I just need to go get the key and then you'll be Like where the hell did they go? Where am I? You blink oh my god. They're back. Yes

Like I get up Like put the money in the bag they put the money in bag, and you're like, where's the fucking money? Okay, cool. Ah, sweet. In the bag. Where's the fucking money? I looked down, oh! Who said that? I looked back up, who are you? Okay, so, but you can turn it on and off.

The cops come. They bust in, you don't have a chance to escape. You turn it on. Tell me what your next step step is. Yeah, I say Hello officers. I didn't rub this bank And then they say you also have that wonderful thing that babies do which is like almost like a ten second delay to any any like Anything going on? Yeah, it's real cute. Yeah with what the cops come in and you're like and you're like Uhhhhhh I didn't rob the bank anything

the cops take you in for questioning yeah and I say how can I rob the bank officers I don't even know where the safe is they're like we have you on camera security footage of you robbing the bank I'm like show it to me and then I blink and then I forget what I'm watching

and then I say huh show it to me! And then I blink. And then I forget what I'm watching. And then I say, huh? Show it to me! And then they're stuck in hell. This man maybe won't go to jail, we might put him in a home or something. Yeah, you might go to like a... The amnesiac bank robber? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might not go to jail per se, but you might go to like somewhere that needs help. But then... I think the only time that's useful... per se, but you might go to like somewhere that needs help, but then you...

I think the only time that's useful... The problem there is though, like say for example, and it's like, well, prison system generally will have an end date. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Yes. Yeah.

I guess you could use having no object permanence in the very specific scenario where you know the location of something. Yeah. And know what else does. But that they could somehow use your brain to find it. Yeah. And you turn it on so you forget. You get the ability to forget anything you want.

Yeah. Which is a pretty cool ability, I guess. Maybe I just turn on object permanence when I'm getting bored of jail and then it gives me a reset. That's not. Although that's not object permanence. No'm getting bored of jail and then it gives me a reset That's not object permanence No Short term or long term memory Yeah Object permanence with me closing my eyes being like whoa jails gone

And then opening my eyes again I'm not in jail oh Oh wait I want to not be in jail anymore Yes I'm in the void now This is much better than jail I love having a think Oh Oh that's right god damn it be a jail anymore yes I'm in the void that's right yeah because again like you say like I don't know what the money is

but like you generally not knowing isn't really gonna give me a lie detector test I'll tell you if I know what's going on you have the money hey hey dude I let you know we don't use lie detector test as much as you think we might do No, I know because they copy It's a bullshit science and we just don't use it. Also Whereas we know you have the money We're gonna tell us where the money is you're gonna get a lesser sentence Yeah, or you're not gonna tell us and you're gonna get a harsher sentence. Can you give me the chair, please? Okay

You got a noose? You got a six? I want that choice because I'm gonna show on a noose? You got a six? Shoot up the other I want that choice because I'm gonna shoot on the noose Help! Joel Duchen! I'm gonna die like that horse that I saw die in cowboy times once Okay, yeah object permanence doesn't work Um, alright, what about no kneecaps?

You've got inability to move. What? I can still get you- Does that help us out here? You're pretty floppy as a baby. Could you get in the vents? Maybe? What about-

But once you're in the vents you can't get out, because you're too floppy, you're not crawling yet. Okay, what about, um, so- Soft head? A baby's cry. Okay. So it's very instinctual, like for humans, generally, when we hear a baby cry that we want to help. That we're like, oh yeah, no, I wanna, something's happening and I don't know what to do, but I really wanna help.

Or like, I know it's a girl, I wanna help. And so can we just use the baby crying. So if I'm there, know hey give me all your money I say I take the gun I keep on me at all times. I should fit you with The cops come I'm like the devil came to my back today I might open fire or just other people be trying to free them from hell But you can try and free them from hell The baby cry coming out of a fully grown man, it's scary really bad to hear it's deeply unsettling

Yeah, can we get that maybe maybe they want to help us rob the bank yeah But what they want to do is stop you crying You know it's be like I'm crying because I have no money. Yeah, they're like. Oh, no is he crying because he gas We know that cry what about a baby's desire to eat everything or to explore the world by liquor Yeah, it's great. I think one of the most awesome things is that you can look at anything and imagine what it would feel like to lick. I think that's amazing. Any material you look at, you can imagine what it would feel like on your tongue. Yeah, but you can imagine that for touch as well. It's part of the fifth sense. Yeah, but it's not as good. But you're not like, you know, licking the table. You're not like... because you can't really control your hands that well your legs

I'm touching stuff all the freaking time, but I do have a lot of control over this. Yeah. Yeah So if I'm there being like, yeah Yeah, how do we do that to rub a bank? Well, you could Is a lot of it is um, hey put the money in the bag Yeah, that's as far as we've gotten other aspects about other aspects about, I guess, you know, doing a heist. Yeah, yeah. But, uh... No, we're not getting there.

No. Eating the money? Does eating the money help make a baby sick? Yeah. Well, okay. Eat the money as a baby. Mm-hmm. Become man. Mm-hmm. Then...

Bigger stomach. Shit out money. Shit out the money down the trash. It's plastic for us. Yeah. Slide right out. Feel bad on the inside though. Maybe give us a cut. Yeah.

Plus isn't money one of those things because so many people have handled it, it's covered in bacteria. Get very sick. Yeah, the stomach of a baby. Can we do something with the baby's fresh farts? Can we do something with the baby's like real weak immune system? Get sick from the bank soon. Okay, I become a baby. You two come in and you say, hey, we're two dads and this is our son.

We're just going to put him down here while we do something with the money. I get the money. You get hooping coughs. We go, you say, your money made my baby sick and they say we're not a restaurant so we're a bank. Also why did you bring a fresh baby to the bank? Why did you let your baby eat the money? He was hungry. How is you as a baby though eating? Because we put you down, you're so floppy and swaddled. I say hey boys We have footage of you putting your baby Baby Hi, hey hi bank teller person We're robbing a bank right now. He got a baby, got a whooping cough yet?

Soon. Yeah. Hi, hey, hi, bank teller person. You'd be really sweet. Look, I have a baby. Can you feed it money? It's real upset and grumpy. I've tried so much, but I know what it really wants right now is a lot of money real quick.

Oh yeah. He's not, well, he can't nod because he's got though, he's got, he's trying to nod. I can feel that he's trying to nod. Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's giving me money, I'm hungry, baby hungry for money, ah! Yeah, use my baby as like a coin purse. Yeah! Oh feeding it coins, what's bad. Okay, could maybe with the power of baby you could like make it selective So like you out you have a baby, but then you like for a brief moment You get like man lips tongue and neck Baby body and had but man legs Baby body and had but man legs With the money in the bank, I? A man fucking baby.

Put the money in the bank, a man fucking baby. Could you, in that case, cause like, all right, so you can be selective here. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, you kind of want legs of a man so he can run away and at least maybe be the same height. But where do you stop? Can you stop just above the knee?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but that bit, but they're a bit floppy You kind of you kind of need core stability. Yeah, so you kind of want all right So you're going from the feet up? Yeah, and you kind of need core so we kind of got the chair Okay, and you kind of want neck. Yeah, you want the neck so you can hold up your head kind of want mouth Also, babies can't see like what? mouth also babies can't see like what oh sure front of them mmm it kind of gets better every day I don't know where we are at at three months but I know definitely babies can't see shit for a while useless dude yeah okay so I should

stay in the pussy long yeah yeah yeah well this is our damn problem right why it's cuz we went to raise them as a community Yeah, bullshit dude And so then yeah, they, they, they, and also because they have a stupid brain, goes so big or whatever That's why, you know, it comes out nice, cooked as a cookie You shit out a baby deer Oh, fight for it That thing's running around, jumping, prancing, it's real good

It's just hitting the normal deer style Yeah, yeah, yeah, have you ever seen any, like a any video like, oh I didn't realize this thing, but like horses, so they are, when they are born, a little baby foal, they are born unconscious. Because when a horse is born, you don't want that kickin'. Yeah, fair enough. You don't want your pussy kicked from the inside. No, not by that mother of a'right. Kick the pussy right out of that horse. So when a horse is born, say when it goes to the birth canal

Yeah, it's being compressed or whatever that that compression of the horse Well, it's sent basically see little horse to be like the the the unknown the thing that's making you unconscious Yeah, we could stop it right? Oh, okay. So flops out like yeah, we can run but sometimes it's born with that Okay, when it's born it's a bit maybe an easy birth. Mm-hmm. So just slide right out. Whoa, and so it's a not doesn't have it, right? So it doesn't been squeezed. So it's just they're floppy. That's what we do And so there you can you can squeeze his head you can you have to kind of hug it Oh, that's a hug the horse awake But there's some cases where if it happens, where the horse is like...

Do you have to put the horse's head back? Well, no, because it can actually lead to death because the horse is like too fucked up. So it's either completely unconscious or it's like, horse don't know what's going on, it's kind of unconscious, but it's not real because he doesn't think it's born. So it kind of is like, maybe walking backwards, maybe falling down a bit. They're like, I don't know what's going on. Drunk horse! So yeah you gotta give it like you gotta squeeze the shit out of the horse and it's like all like you got to pat it a lot

that's awesome slap a horse in the face stop out of it! Hey! The horse is down there the placenta is there it looks real bad and this guy is slapping the shit out of his hole and the horse is like, Oh, oh, oh yeah, I'll run. Uh, yeah. Is that why we slap a baby on the arse? We don't slap a baby on the arse anymore. I don't think we do that to a dude. Yeah, well, of course not.

I think it was to make the baby cry, make sure it wasn't choking or some shit. It was back when we didn't think babies felt pain. Yeah. We didn't think that for a really long time. For a really long time, like 80s. Yeah, yeah. It was like the 80s, they were isn't I think it's after I was born Damn is there something to getting your losing your kneecaps to get through the pipe

I'm just trying to think like to get through the pipe go to the bank toilet Yeah, then flush yourself. No, I'm going from the sewer up Oh, why would no kneecaps help is a bend you well gonna have shoulders still so a lot of them Okay, so a lot of I think it's like banking stuff. Yeah, they're the roofs of a bank It's like they're pressure sensitive right like you walk on them and then the alarm will come. And then a bunch of like gods and poppers are there. And then you got to have a, you got to ruin night. A big shoot out from the roof.

Yeah. And so it's like things will get set off, right? But you know, clearly things will land there like a bird. Yeah, okay. Like a pigeon. How much can a baby weigh? And it's so, can we somehow get onto the roof and before we step foot, we just turn into a baby and hopefully with enough momentum roll towards an open vent? Or maybe a pipe? Okay, what about we try the two dads and I'm a baby trick again?

You throw me up there. Now I've become... If we miss our throw that's lights out for Jackson baby. I mean if we nail the throw it's still lights out for Jackson baby. Well I'm thinking if I like, cause I can make some bits of me man. Yeah. So I make the bit that hits the roof man. Man. Briefly to. Or is it better to be baby cause then it like cushionsions the fall But then as the baby becomes injured I become man and a baby's injury on a man's body is smaller That is if I'm a baby you slap me. Yeah, I become a man. Does it hurt less? Yeah, but then you become bigger and you weigh more which will set off the pressure pads. Yeah, fuck. Okay Yeah, yeah, just think yeah, this is it if you're rubbing the bank Yeah, anyway, I'm like thinking because you need the core strength you need like neck could it just be like

Baby chest which is also heart and if you have like man legs and arms I think a baby's heart can pump blood through a man body. What if he just went for baby head, okay? Yeah, just baby head and then you walk in and you're just like surprise. I'm scary, but so with for baby head. Okay. Yeah, what a baby head way. Just baby head, and then you walk in and you're just like, surprise, I'm scary. So with a baby head, do you get a baby brain? Or does the baby head, is it your head which is baby-fied, or does it become as small as the baby head, or you as a baby, and if so, is your brain poking out of your skin?

Or if you go baby brain, like full baby head, you just have this problem before. But instead of being a baby that grows up, you're a man whose head grows up different to his body. So then you go in and you go, okay, baby brain. I've got such an old body and such a young head. Yeah, because what do you do? Because I'm like, because you don't have like teeth. Yeah

And and I guess and I neck throat area like oh, you can't really process food But I have a gut that wants food Our plates are doing it kids the patients doing it babies are doing it It's good for everyone. Okay, okay can drink as you like. You can drink as much breast milk as you like. Yeah. Okay, thank God. I think that after an hour of this episode, I'm really starting to think that maybe the powers of a baby aren't useful for rubbing it back in the outlaw pit might be the first baby to ever do it. Yeah, there must be something special about Outlaw Pete.

Yeah. I don't know what happened to my voice. Well, he was picked by God to be a piece of shit or something, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess, you know, if you were ordained by God to be, like, you know, just like, I guess like, yeah, evil incarnate or a big piece of shit. Yeah, I guess we could rob a bank like that. But just becoming a baby.

If you were like, oh my God, that baby, look at that baby, he's got ill intent. Maybe I'm more inclined to, you know, give the baby the money. That makes sense. But yeah. Just us with the powers of a baby, I just don't think we can do it. We just keep getting to the point. Okay, what about, last attempt here, what about the fact that I cannot control my sphincter? Okay Walk into the bank shit pants. I am shitting

diarrhea at the bank But you have diarrhea at the bank now. Yeah I don't think they'd give you any money They just ask you politely and quietly to leave. What if you say no? What if I'm like, what do you mean? What do you mean? What are you talking about? I don't have diarrhea. You don't? Sir, you are shitting your face. Why would you say such a thing?

Do you have a manager I'd like to speak to them? This is outlandish. You're bespilling my good name. Oh god, I'm a the manager of First National sir, you are having diarrhea. No, why would you say that? Your employee is so rude. Yeah, maybe maybe I'll just come to the bank to withdraw money

Maybe I'll step into your office. We can have a sit down chat. Maybe I'll step into the vault and that's where I'll calm down I'm watching you getting diarrhea all over the vault What diarrhea? What's dripping out your pants? over the fault. What diarrhea? What's dripping out your pants? I don't know. What if we could get like, hey, could I withdraw a lot of cash? Uh huh.

And they break out the cash while I have it. I have all the bet and I pick up the cash. I have heaps of diarrhea and then I drop it into the diarrhea. I'm like, oh no, I don't want this diarrhea money. And then like, you know, trying to like maybe confuse the talent time by giving money But like no I want that thing Yeah, it's a good bill and just making a big ruckus with a lot of diarrhea and a lot of shit covered money Yeah, yeah, and they're like and they're just like whatever whatever whatever

Bamboozle them completely and maybe maybe in the transaction I get an extra 50. Yeah, I think that's very doable Yeah, that I think you're off the bank. I think that loose sphincter was actually the way to do it. It was the winning move. Because if someone says excuse me sir you need to leave because you got diarrhea. Yeah. They're already well and truly out of their comfort zone. But then for you to say no but diarrhea. I'm offended at you. Because also it's not diarrhea it is just no control of that. I just a baby sphincter. I'm sorry. Yeah, why? Like that I was born like that. It's sorry. I'm by like that I mean with the powers to turn any part of my body into a baby. Oh, I Chose sphincter. Oh, okay. Any questions. Did you turn it back? Yeah

Okay, this is on Babies also They were constantly shit yeah Yeah, well here we we Yeah, turns out yes, you can rob the bank with the power of a baby. That's all robbery baby! Well, we got to the end of it. Turns out, yes, you can rob a bank with the power of a baby. And maybe that's how Outlaw Pete did it too. Exactly. We don't know. His little bare baby feet and baby's asshole.

I mean, he did say he was wearing a diaper. But I guess you don't wear a leaking diaper. We were wearing pants. He was wearing a diaper. But I guess he don't wear a leaking diaper. Exactly. I mean, we were wearing pants. Yeah, in this room. We weren't wearing pants. We weren't naked from the waist down. If your friends with Bruce Springsteen let us know,

did, ask him, be like, hey Bruce, boss. Yeah. Hey. Just a little what up, dude. Hey, hey, I hope your current tour is going well. Second of all, did Outlaw Pete rob the bank by shitting his pants through his baby diaper Yeah, and baby sphincter. Mm-hmm. We would like to know yeah, let us know

Let us know have we cracked the case of outlaw Pete is that how we did it? We don't we actually done the house you could have yeah Yeah, we've actually done the math on it and that's the only way it could have yeah, it makes sense Yeah, like if that is how he did it by fair play Bruce Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, like if that is how he did it by fat white Bruce. That checks out to me, dude. Yeah Anyway on that note. I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joe This has been another episode of plumbing the Death Star and that was a Bruce Springsteen song. Al lopeed Listen now on music stream It is on Spotify

Al lopeed Apple Music Can you hear me? Probably YouTube I guess Can you hear me? Tidal? Was that one? I'm Outlaw Pete It might not be on that one, I don't know

It is on that one, yeah If you go see Bruce Springsteen on any of his tours, he often will take requests from signs So write Outlaw Pete I got a copy of the Outlaw Pete book was meant to bring it in today so I could be like, look at this book It's a book? It's a kid's book he wrote a book. He wrote a kid's book. He wrote a book

Yeah, about outlaw Pete. I love Pete the man who killed himself on a horse. Yeah, it's a kid's book Yeah, it's a book for kids. I want this kid. I got it. I'll read it Yeah, it's a baby. So it's at least you know appropriate for kids with the first book Yeah So it's at least you know appropriate for kids with the first book Yeah We'll see yeah, we'll report back. Goodbye listeners. I hope you enjoy what the show currently is and has always been