Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Use The Thing Ring For Financial Gain or Personal Profit?

Episode Date: June 29, 2025

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Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the most important question. Go on. Like how would you use the thing ring for financial gain or personal profit? Now this question comes to us from the Plummy the Death Star listener suggestions channel in the the Sans Pets Radio Discord which you can gain access to if you subscribe to Bad Brain Boys Plus link in the show notes probably. From our website. From our website. Not from Apple Plus. I don't know how to set that one up forgive us But go to our website radio.com there is also a free discord. You don't need to pay You could suggest all you want you could suggest see if the cows come home. We ain't listening

So oh, yeah This is by Johnny Craig. Sorry person. I have to assume we name Johnny Craig Had a television program called Fred and Bonnie meet the thing Yeah, you know of Flintstones fame? I understand the Flintstones, I'm trying right now Shut the fuck up, Barney! Oh, friend, I'll kill you!

I'll kill you, Barney! Yeah, that's the Flintstones Oh, friend! Oh, please don't! Oh, friend, yeah, you really shouldn't kill me. Oh, that's pretty good. You probably shouldn't kill me, Fred. Oh, Fred, you're a fucking asshole, Fred. I love his laugh either.

We did three different laughs. Yeah, but they were all good. Yeah, cool. Anyway, I'm trying to understand the Flintstones, I'm just trying to figure out which thing we're talking about. Yeah. It's a one hour block. Okay. First 30 minutes. Yeah. it's a one-hour block. Okay First 30 minutes. Yeah, it's just an episode of the Flintstones. I love it second 30 minutes. It's an episode of the thing

Okay. Yeah Marvel's Now he's not and here's where things get confusing you might think he's the Avalon Blue, I'd think Ben Grimm. You could not be more incorrect. And you might assume that he is joined by the rest of the Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic Four alone well he's not bad he's a different person yeah he's a little boy you say he's Benji well he's a Ben yes is he Benji Grim but he's named after a dog yeah yeah is he a dog? Is he Benji Grim? He's Benji something and instead of gaining his powers of being the thing from cosmic radiation. Yeah, instead has a magic ring to magic rings Magic rings. Why does he need both? Well, it's because he needs to touch the two rings together and say thing ring do your thing

Uh-huh, and then rocks fly at him and transform him into the thing. Oh I then rocks fly at him and transform him into the thing. I mean, as it like, like, like, is that a one to one perfect version of say, the fantastic force, the thing. So it was like thing ring, do your thing. And he, he basically, he just looks like and becomes what Ben Grimm is. The title card that is very blurry because it's from the seventies and looks like it was taken on Mmm, Fata Max. Let's say yeah

So it's the thing and with these little blue shorts. Yeah, okay It's like if they introduced a young boy like a powers of Shazam Yeah, but instead of the gods you become a rock monster It's crazy. It's crazy like the thing is maybe like not obscure enough but he's not like imagine if it was the Hulk if they're like it's not Bruce Banner it's a little boy who has a magic hat yeah and when he put a little boy named Brucey and when he puts the hat on and says Hulk hat do your thing King okay dear hulking yeah he becomes the Hulk but he's not the Hulk from the comics he's a different's a different guy. He's a new guy.

And he is becoming the Hulk. Yeah, well he's becoming a Hulk. Yeah And he's becoming a thing because he's not really fighting any of what happens in with Thing Ring What does he does he fight things as enemies? The Mole Man? I do not think so. Consists of stories about following the adventures of a scrawny redheaded teenager named Benji Grimm I was Benji who changes into the monstrous and mighty thing By touching two magic rings together Do you think a red hair for some reason? Yeah, yeah, that little skank. It's very well I think in the in the seven causing an explosion of energy that causes orange rocks to hurl in from every direction and transform

Him into the thing. Okay. As for whether or not he fought, say, Galactus, I- Well, there's a little bit- What do you do? What does he- What does he get up to? Yeah. Okay, so he doesn't really fight- Anyone. Superhero- Super villains.

Yeah. The story's centered mostly around Benji at Centerville High School with his friends the beautiful brunette Benny Harkness Benny Betty Betty Betty, okay her snooty rich Harkness so like Harkness is like a witch I guess is that where they get now from I Her snooty rich boyfriend Ronald Ronald Radford That's very very similar to an actor. I know it very very similar to an actor I know.

It's very similar to an actor I know but I'm also like is this anything like what's Radford in the in in MC yeah law I gotta find. And Betty's blonde tomboy younger sister Callie Harkness with minimal Harkness family with minimal supervision provided by principal Twilly Mm-hmm good stuff only Cali and her scientist father professor Harkness No, Benji's secret identity. Oh, so this is like what if instead of like say Peter Parker You know get bitten by a radioactive spider. Yeah, whatever shut the fuck. That's yeah. Shut the fuck up Okay, it's a what if instead we have a plucky young

T, but he has the power of when he chooses Yeah, yeah, he's not afflicted by this with great power comes great responsibility When the power right now is combining two rings and becoming a thing Yeah, so you don't have to worry about a secret entity You could just become a thing whenever you want don't worry about it We're like it's really the choice is yours when not battling various mad Scientists and getting involved in scooby-doo style mysteries Thing spends most of his time using his superhuman strength to protect his pals from everyday dangers

And the nasty practical jokes of the leather clad bully spike Hanner an Okay, why is there some references to like Marvel with like Harkness? Yeah, and some Handra hand. Oh, yeah, sorry spike hand right hand and like some references to his bike. Yeah biker buddy stretch Like stretch so like okay, so I guess you know like read and then we have turkey like oh, yeah I'm the part of the Yancy Street gang Which is a clickable link on Wikipedia because that's Yancy Street is where we're Benjamin Grim is from yeah Which is the which is like he has like talks about like yeah the Yancy Street gang Is this like the origins of like an alternate origin of Ben Grimm?

Well, I was just other members of the Fantastic Four do not appear in this show Okay, the thing rings were canonized in the comics too, which makes things even more confusing as an homage to this TV So if like, you know, okay, this is a taking place. This was actually Ben Grimm's childhood and then to be like, yeah I had these like it was weird. I was magical rings. Yeah, I touched them together. I whatever they lost them in a battle I dropped them down a drain. They've gone They like well, it was a fun time for me I got to like do some pranks and do this kind of stuff at ha ha ha hmm and then I get into a ship and the pilot down yeah, and we go up into space and

Cosmic race hit us I watch as my good friend becomes stretchy Yeah, I watch as his wife is gone. Mm-hmm and that hot-headed other guy becomes fire. Yeah, and I is gone and that hot-headed other guy becomes fire. And I become the thing from my childhood. Did the rings do this somehow? I would, I would, it's only, that's all I'd be thinking of. Like, oh, it's the rigs, the rigs fucked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to find, I have to find,

I gotta go find the rigs to go back. I could have been invisible. Dude, thing, ring, do your thing and you become a man again. Yeah, dude. Okay, I found one clip find the rigs to go back. I could have been a dude thing ring Do you think you become a man again? Yeah, I found one clip from the show. Okay, uh Uses it to stop a train but that's gonna fucking stop the way the rail the train boy But it takes him like quite a bit of effort So it doesn't seem like this thing is as strong as the thing feel like a train would give like, you know, even the It would give Ben a bit of bit of golf

I like this So the actual idea for the series came from the then NBC president Fran Silverman who originated the concept for a series involving eight so this is where it started a boy with a magic ring and Then he said he told Hanna Barbara Barbara it needed a recognizable celebrated attractions presumably they were like we need a celebrity and Hanna Barbara at the time had a relationship with Marvel producing comics so Hanna Barbara comics yeah so like Yogi Bear or whatever and they managed to negotiate the rights to the thing uh-huh I'm very sad. Thing ring, do your thing.

I'm very sad that it wasn't like, you know, thing ring, do your thing. And he becomes like Yogi Bear. Yeah. Yeah. I love the things exprized. So the thing he missed. He's just like a gormless orange rock monster. Apparently he has a voice that's silly,

but I haven't watched it with volume because we're doing a podcast He's padding the train which I like he's really struggling. So he does stop it, but it takes some time I feel like even better also he's trying to do it so he doesn't destroy the train Which is also you know, cuz like cuz Ben I'm assuming thing. The thing could stop that whole train, but it's gonna crumple like inertia. He'll kill the train captain. Yeah, well, not just that, but that'll crumple then all the carriages will just go into it. Yeah, yeah.

And like, it's fucked. Yeah, yeah. So at least that way he's just slowing it down. So yeah, that's showing not just strength, but smart. That's true. He keeps his intelligence. Mmm. I love so much that more they were like hey Marvel It's 1970 whatever we we need a superhero. Who can we have for our boy with magic ring project? You have a year. I know you currently probably have like you got Matt

Like you got majors on yeah, like, you know roster of characters to use like Ducky strange and like clea and like all of those guys and other probably magic people How what Marvel CEO was like like who we gonna give him we're gonna give him a cash standalone character Give him the thing. Yeah Like who's popular right now We're gonna give him like spider-man. Yeah, will be right God. No, no're not going to give them like Spider-Man and Wolvey, right? God, no. No, no. What about like Human Torch? Nah, too cool.

But even the idea of picking anyone from a team seems so bizarre. Yeah. Who are we going to give them? What was Fantastic Four doing in 1979? Were things going real downhill or were they going really good? I don't know. Because they was like, yeah, there was the cartoon series, but I don't remember when did they do the Fantastic Four cartoon series.

I feel like that was maybe later than this, but maybe not. Maybe they were like, kids were already seeing the thing in a cartoon. Because we can't have a little boy become Mr. Fantastic. Yeah, no, and we can't have- 1967 was the previous cartoon. And we can't have the human torch

because kids will light themselves on fire. So I guess we've got to have the- So here's Herbie. The kid, yeah, yeah. The kid can turn into a robot. That's maybe. So I guess we've got to have the kid. Yeah. You can turn into a robot. That's maybe. I was thinking like of all the things like, you know, we got like a bunch of different characters you could choose from like Ghost Rider.

But you've got that same problem. We can't have kids, you know, setting the skulls on fire. I guess maybe thing is the best choice. Hulk feels like it would make sense to Yeah, Hulk would work. Yeah in terms of like if you're my purity exact. Yeah But then I'm like, all right who we do it's kind of like not necessarily a good guy, too So maybe they're like we want the kids to become Ben Grim's but then he's not Ben Grim He's not been Benji Grim from then from Yancy Street and then it's just

Anyway, truly bad. Yeah, you can't do spider-man You could be can't do but it's very funny. He has to become he can't become just an adult man Yeah, so that's what makes it which is am big at the time though. Like we're gonna one-up Shazam Yeah, she's just becomes an adult man house becomes a monster All right, you're starting this show. Yeah, what's Shazam. Yeah, she just becomes an adult man. I was becomes a monster All right, you're starting this show. Yeah, I was Shazam Cuz that was like yeah Way earlier way way like that 1950s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so they're kind of I guess cribbing from that. Yeah in a way 1942 Yeah, that it started with

Here's my pitch started with Here's my pitch you could have a boy Magic right you could have like cosmic people yeah, I get it like you know Nova or like Ksar or whatever like it's sink yeah, but it's very much You could just but it doesn't well does it start with we want to give him the thing No, it's not you're gonna think it starts with we want to tell stories about a boy Yeah, and the boy has a magic ring. Yeah, I get that so Cosmic he touches that the cosmic ring. He becomes yeah, like I don't know Captain Marvel

I hear you know like that kind of stuff where he gets like photon powers had a thing But that is like all the guys is blast and stuff, but we don't want that we want a rock guy I don't know dude. It's it's truly fathom and. I guess we want someone with you know star power. Yeah, yeah Yeah, well um hey you're making this TV show you like we're gonna ease people into this they might know the thing already So we'll start episode one and you gotta remember so yeah, there are 11 minute episodes. Yeah, I showed two back-to-back Yeah, yeah, you got to ease them in with the Flintstones. Yeah, episode one and episode two both They had the first time this one on the first episode. It's called the picnic panic Benji and his friends attend a high school picnic

But when the yancey street gang show up at the picnic and cause trouble thing must save the day Great. Okay next episode which will show screen immediately after this. Yep, Bigfoot meets the thing Benji and his friends confront the real Bigfoot whilst on a ski trip Benji and his friends confront the real Bigfoot whilst on a ski trip Okay What's the thing gonna do with Bigfoot? Punch him in the head? Yeah, I'm guessing Defend, like Bigfoot, is he gonna eat your classmates? Yeah, defend them

Then by episode 13 There's 13 episodes, wonderful to hear There's 26 Whoa, oh no Episode 18, the day the ring didn't do a thing The thing ring lost its thing thing Street gang decide to steal Benji's ring causing no end of trouble Yeah, they then did they ever explain where the ring comes from?

I hope not I guess we got to watch the show to find out. An evil scientist named Danton Blackwood creates a robot thing to commit crime to make citizens believe the thing has gone bad. But it also lands the real thing in jail. It's a bad thing. How's he in jail? I love the idea of making a robot to commit crime. That's so funny.

To frame a man. Like a robot to commit crime. That's so funny. Frame a man, frame a rock monster. The police like arrest that rock monster. Little Benji's not like I should stop being the thing. I was like, no, I will remain as the thing. I'm presumably while I'm in jail and waiting there, you'll see that the robot thing doesn't commit crime. Yeah. I'm in jail, I'm innocent. And they say, a robot can't really commit a crime. And then as like, you know, I mean, what a wonderfully beautiful way to be like, oh, see, if I'm in jail and then a crime is committed

by the robot, they'll instantly, you know, let it go. No, well, you're in jail because we arrested you for this. You're probably guilty though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems like, you probably, you know, well, he's a copycat, he's a copycat. You did the crime,. Like that seems like, well, you probably, you know, why is a copycat is a copycat. You did the crime. So you're, yeah. Okay. We've already rested you worked on. But I just love like, if you make a robot to commit a crime,

like what's the thinking there? Like obviously in this scenario, you may get to frame the thing. Sure. We hate the thing. But, but in a lot of comic books, like, and like all the campy&P cartoons and whatever they make They just make a crime robot. Yeah, but like that's if a robot robs a bank Yeah, either the robot gets sent to jail not gonna happen Yeah, or you get sent to jail because you made the is so you don't have to do it Yeah, but the robot accidents on behalf. I just simply built the robot

Yeah, I merely built crime bot To do some crime and benefited from the crime. Yeah, I'm innocent I uploaded the crime matrices to its criminal brain, but and then let it loose in the city I programmed it to rob a bank, but I didn't expect it to do it. I did it. This is I was purely hypothetical Exactly. I was like a crime body if you see a bank, you know It's in your programming to do your best to rob it to help with ice and bring the money back to Jackson Labs Of course, how was I don't know who's gonna rob a real don't worry you when he gets back to the lab Obviously you can't set a

robot to jail and it's not a crime to make a robot that wants to commit crime yeah so I'm innocent yeah is it a crime to build a robot I think and not is it a crime to build a crime well wouldn't it be the same as hiring someone to do a crime which makes you a complus well no because that's a person. Yeah. I'm hiring someone. A robot on its own can't commit a crime. I think if you make a robot and then it does a crime you're still an accomplice or potentially the perpetrator of the crime. I don't think you're an accomplice. Can you be an accomplice to your own crime? That's like, that's like if my... Not getting you twice. If I I let my it's probably manslaughter

I mean, it's like for example, okay. How about this? Involves a robot and also a chimp So I have I have a drone Okay, and I've I have I have duct taped a knife onto that drone and I'm playing with that drone Then I give it to a chimp. Okay, he's playing with that drone and it stabs somebody. Hmm Wait, no, I didn't give I left the remote He stole it from The tour of the woman's face does the owner go to prison no

She might get sued. She should have gone to prison. I don't think she did. Yeah, but that would be, but a chimp's different because that's animal negligence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if it's a wild chimp and I just play with my knife drone and the chimp costs me. Well then no, you're fine. And it grabs the remote and then it commits a crime with the, robs a bank with the drone. That's not you. It just robs you, it stole from you. with the Rob's bank with the drone. That's not you. It just robbed you, stole from you. It's nothing you can.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what if in my lab, I make the crimebot 3000 and I upload the greatest crimes of the 21st century into its robo brain. Yep. And then one day I accidentally, we've all been there, leave the door unlocked. Yes.

And it escapes and robs a bank. Okay, what if, okay, what if you do, it's crimebot 3000. I upload all the beautiful crimes and I also upload how to break out of say, yeah Absolutely as it is how to break out of a bunch of other places including jail. Yeah So like yeah, I'm like all these things the crime bot, yeah, yeah, and then it looks to me it breaks out Yeah, Rob's a bunch of let banks. Yeah, and then comes looks to me it breaks out. Yeah Rob's a bunch of land banks Yeah, and then comes back and gives me the process. Yeah, like what is is that? You accepting the money? I mean

Depends. It's a mean like who's all the police here If the police are knocking on my door and they have Crimebot 3000 in hand cards I've never seen this crimebot before in my life However, is it like my cool friend I'm trying to impress? Because I'm bragging about how cool my crimebot is Dude, crimebot worked like a dream

If the police come to your house and they say Hey we caught this crimebot robbing the bank and keep saying I am crimebot 3000 I am crimebot 3000 Jackson is my father Oh my god, you found crime on 3000. He escaped from the lab What's this crime but money in a sack? But and then I hit him and the cops like Bad crime you should give that back to the police. That is not my programming father

You program me to give you the money I don't know you can't give me a word with crime bud real quick Shut the fuck up dude you're fucking yourself crime bud And you can see police he cannot be kind to me father He can't give the money back he can't so he has to give it to me I'm so sorry He's gonna give it to me then I'll give it back to you and then yeah the crime crime book gives me four sacks of cash and I give the back three. Yeah, thanks so much Come to me in my final moment

I'm dying. I'm bleeding out. I'm holding crime bots in metal claw and I say you want a very good Caught you you did it for you I programmed him to mourn me. With my dying breath I command you to make a better crimebot four thousand. Build a better crimebot crimebot. I will avenge you father. Hey what do we think about this? Episode 22 of The Thing. It's called a Dude Ranch Rodeo. That's awesome dude.

I'm a big fan of that. Does The Thing ride ride a horse because that would be a sight to see yeah Benji his friends and pinch Principal Twilley visit the big bot ranch big but ranch Ronald yes thing and Yancy Street gang compete in a rodeo. Is there a is there a map to this big big big big? But ranch but ee yeah How to pronounce that I never know if that's fun or bute yes that bute I don't know I genuinely I don't know But I'm always confused by this one. It's a word. I never learned how to put on a big but ranch. Yeah Caring you know where the big? You See that double that e be like well

Yancy Street Boys always trying to fuck shit up But then in one episode they just dare Ben and his friends to stay on a haunted ship for a night, bro Fucking I wish someone would damn it Big like even though he's the thing it's me like Scooby-doo areas cuz it's just like they do a random activity a rodeo he meets the Queen I think that was just a seven. Yeah, he meets the homecoming Queen Okay, I was gonna say same thing well. was okay. Oh, no, please please well I was gonna say yeah in terms of like you know what would I do with now knowing it's the power of the thing

I think Marvel's think he turns into rocks is that well if they ever the opportunity came up I would use it to defend from the monster Medusa. Oh very clever. Yeah, that's How can I be turned to rocks I'm already rocks you don't turn into rocks you turn into a statue Now you're just a statue of the thing if you were an animate statue say you got cursed by a separate wizard To be statue man. Yeah, and then you're one of those loathed performers in the city Yeah, living statue. I was gonna say you're one of those loathed statue man basically. You're the statue man Well yeah, living statue man district. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so you're but but they want money But all they're doing is just standing real still still. Yeah, your makeup's cool

I get it sitting on a thing that makes them look like they're floating but they're not yeah They just sitting there. That's pretty cool to look like you're floating but they're not yeah I just sit and dance. That's pretty cool to look like you're floating, but you're not give them money No, yeah, just sitting dude. Yeah Yeah, you're like what else do you do with that skill? Yeah being able to sit very still. Yeah catch birds Why would you want to catch birds? Scientists sometimes need to put it. Oh, so you get hired by a study, uh, a conservatory. You get hired by a lab or a zoonobosity. They just take you out and they're very quiet and chill. Yeah.

So you're gonna be really still but also really weird. You're like a trapdoor spider, really. Yeah. And you are an ambush predator at this point. The most dangerous... Catch birds, catch raccoons. Yeah, the trickiest part is not killing the bird because you're so quick with your hand. Yeah Yeah, um no so if you were at a line of statue. Yeah, and then he saw

You're not if you're already a statue yeah, then she probably couldn't do anything else Yeah, yeah, like if probably couldn't do anything else Yeah, like if she looks at the statue of David is gonna stay the same. Yeah, but it's a statue of David was up a walking around Yeah She could statue a statue, yeah Yeah I wish you could make a cool statue. I'd be like, think ring do yo! The ring's nearly touching. It'd be funnier if you haven't even turned into the thing yet. Fuck. Yeah, that's bad.

Aw man, I thought I'd be immune to a bounce, because I'm already a statue guy. I thought for a second you were like, you were getting confused and you were like, because typically the way to deal with a Medusa is a mirror. Yeah. And then somehow it was bouncing off I polished my rocks. Yeah, you can polish your rocks. I'm just already a statue. Why would I need to be?

Yeah, you're a fuck brother. Does Medusa get killed by a knight wearing polished armor? No, she gets killed by Jason who's holding up Yeah, polish shield. Mirror shield style Legend of Zelda What would you do like like you know if we had a statue of zam and we knew he was in there yeah yeah like what happened to wolverine relevant again yeah yeah like dude we're gonna fucking kill wolverine for real yeah for real for real oh yeah and they're like no for real for real dude don't worry next month though what's gonna happen is like future him is here he He's old. So it's not the same guy. Dan Logan. Yes dude. What was that? My phone. Do you think we try and get

Zammat out of the statue? How? Yeah. Also if you turn I'm thinking is- How are you gonna get him out then? What I'm thinking is, Like heat it up? Like chisel me? To sort of explore our options. Yeah, get me out! He's trapped in there, baby. Come on! You're not trapped in-

But we don't know. No, I know we don't know. I have put the power of the thing, I have become the thing. I'm like, you can't hurt me, Medusa. I'm like, aw. Oh, good. I would certainly drill in him.

Yeah. Just to see if I hit blood or meat. Yeah, just for some of the rocks. Maybe I'm there. If I did, I'd be like, I'd hear the, and then, and I'd turn around to you, and be like, Medusa, oh fuck.

Why did you drill as the first move? Pull it out, it's blood. It's just, yeah, I've gone all the way through your arm. It's just draining on the floor. He might be dying Statue and now he's a statue with not much blood. Yeah You're just putting him out of his misery. Okay, should I do it in his brain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then you'll stop thinking. His eyes in the statue looking back and forth. Everything's statue in front of my eyes. This is so sad.

But it's definitely necessary. And then the statue falls over and just breaks open. Oh, he was in there. Oh, he was just in there. Fuck. Fuck, dude. This is a crazy murder. Just breaks open It was just in there Fuck this is a crazy Body drilled in the wrist and brain encased in a statue Build a crime Let's try to build a crime bot to frame for this? Yeah, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm It's a good chance you could meet him at do so yeah 100% he could well know because this thing isn't doesn't appear to be as strong as the regular yeah

Yeah, so yeah, but if you're a medusa getting punched by a guy with Rock hands Yeah, and in the 70s campy cartoon medusa could turn up. Yeah, yeah, if he met the Dracula I wouldn't be surprised Yeah, well like I mean there's one point where I. Yeah, he saves a boat from a drawbridge But then he hits his head on the bridge hits him in the head. Yeah, it gives him amnesia You know that is that probably wouldn't happen to Ben Grimm but imagine if a bridge hit you on Yeah, well I guess yeah could you be the craziest way Yeah, I just cast up imagining like on a cruise ship and like you're on the top as a drawbridge closes It feels like it'd be going slow as well. Yeah drawbridge, but probably not. Yeah. Yeah true

What are we gonna say? Well, then if I look at other other monsters, yeah like a Dracula I think most monsters mmm, especially in the hannah barbaria kind of what they know Turning into the thing would definitely protect me from all their bulls. Oh absolutely a dracula he keeps long. He's fucked yeah Three rocks, but he can't hit me. Yeah, yeah eyes are a weak point and he says oh looking is bad Dude eyes being a weak point and dracula being the enemy is so scary Dude eyes being a weak point and Dracula being the enemy is so scary Like well, I can't suck on his neck, but I can inject my fangs directly in his eyeball He could hypnotize me I'm through your thing

So I feel once again Step one Thank God we got Zabba out of that statue And even better to celebrate with this night at Dracula's castle I'm just gonna go check on Zabit before bed opening the door. You're kneeling down as Dracula's Fags in your eyeballs closing the door Okay, sure he fucked it Start the car

Step one yeah remove my Step one. Yeah. Remove my eyes. Oh, this is the perfect time to do that. This is the best time to remove your eyes. The only time right now that there's a weak spot is my eyes. So I'm like, oh yeah, what can Dracula do? Get in their sockets? Exactly. Yeah. Well, yeah, but he can't hypnotize me. Are Ben Grimm's eye holes?

What? Rocks? Yeah. Surely. Yeah. I don't know. It's rocks all the way down, buddy. But his eyes aren what rocks. Yeah, surely. Yeah, I don't rocks all the way down buddy He's eyes on rocks. Yeah, but it's cuz the meat behind his eyes that'd be rock. What's up his nose? What's in his mouth rock tongue? Hot wet tongue in there Close my mouth. Mmm, whose eyelids are rock as well That's why don't you just close your eyes rather than removing I can just close my eyes and diff Dracula. Yes. It's very smart lovely to meet you Dracula Sorry, I'm really tired

Talking so I can use so I can beef you it's funny like, you know us in the room next to mom is getting his eyes He's like, it's crazy Dracula. Good for either of us. It's like I'm all me We sick Crazy Dracula didn't go for either of us, because like I'm all meat. Are we sick and we don't know? Dracula's like, ah, ooh. What's wrong? Nothing, I'm just not hungry. Am I? Not this. Usually people are happy when I do not suck their blood.

Yeah, well I'm just wondering, is there something wrong? I don't know what happened to my body. Is there something wrong with my blood, Dracula? No, no. It seems like something's wrong with my blood. There's a little something wrong with my blood Dracula? No, it's not right It seems like something's wrong with my blood There is a little something wrong Have you been to a doctor? Oh my god It's nothing too bad

I'm not saying I'm no doctor myself I sense, I smell It's... It's smelly rancid This is heavy shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah Anyway, I must go I must go through your friends room Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm very tired. Not at all hungry. I got a call my family

Hey, it's Jackson. I've got I've got some bad news from Dracula You know how every time I caught myself it stinks? Yes. Dracula's confirmed. That's not good. It's not a coincidence. That stink wasn't there before I caught myself. I might have stinky blood. The doctor died when I go to the doctor later. He's like, well, good news and bad news. Good news, you're not sick.

Bad news, you got stinky blood. This blood is very unappetizing for Dracula. See this, Jack? That's what I thought. If you look in the scope, these are stink particles. You can see the little lines coming off your Yeah, the hemoglobin there right mostly stinky. Yeah. Yeah, is that a problem? Yeah? It makes you terrible to be around. Yeah, nobody's gonna want to do surgery on you because it'll smell Well, no doesn't stink blood doesn't count. It's like your blood's gone off

But it hasn't you're fine. Yeah, you're perfectly healthy. Yeah, just you got stinky blood. Yeah, yeah, man This is what I was thinking I was gonna do yeah, it's Scooby-Doo style. Yeah. Yeah, this would be great to pull a Scooby-Doo style scam where I Try and keep people away from a property for whatever reason yeah What reason I don't know why they do it is could we do a lot of the time isn't an insurance? Yeah, you're in scam real estate scam that want to like maybe keep their house the house or Yeah, they usually are the homeowners. Yeah Well, it's like yeah Cuz like you keep them away either because you want to buy the property,

you want to lower the price so that you can come in and buy a bunch of it, like you can buy it real cheap. Mmm. You know, pay us a dollar or whatever, and then like, you know, bulldoze it down and build a tennis court. Well, then maybe I'll do that. I can find a house I want to get somewhere in the boonies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I... Start haunting it as the thing? Well, I go in the swamp at the back.

I go, thing ring, do your thing! And then I just sort of like roam around in the swamp scaring anybody that comes by well you could lower the property price Yeah, you have to even buy anything you scare them off and then you just live in there Like squatter as a light as a thing because if a thing came over right now and scared me away, I would return and be like, is he there? And if I could see the thing through the windows, I'm not going back.

This is too rock. This is a things house. I think what I do is I go up to the house, I knock on the door, I say, excuse me, can I just use your bathroom real quick? I'm so sorry, I just, you know, there's no gas station in the area, then I go up to the toilet you a Dracula

No, no, no, no, no, like you want me to invite you in busting. No, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna pee your house Yeah, all right. Okay. Well, I'll go to your neighbor then whatever. Yeah, okay You're either you want into my house. I just need to piss really bad. No Find someone who will or just piss on the side of that well no I don't actually need to pee yeah I don't need to piss at all I like that you're going in the sauce of this Jack going into the toilet mmm do your thing and they're just exploding out of it to wreck the house you want to buy yeah well now I'm just scaring yeah now he's squatting maybe I use it just to scare people yeah so I go

I'm just gonna go try this on in the change room. Thing where you do your thing. BWAAA! Change room's a bad place to do it because you're the only person in there. No, I burst out of the change room, explode out of it, and just terrorize the game. Yeah, but then people know you're the thing. Yeah. I don't care.

I'm the thing. They can't kill me. You have to sleep. Yeah. I sleep thinged. Yeah, dude. You sleep. I guess you're just going to go full thing all the time. So they know who he is, vaguely what he looks like, but so what? Yeah exactly.

Well then after he terrorizes the police will come for him. Well they'll see some CCTV and that's it. Yeah, that's the thing. Oh yeah, there's a guy maybe, he's wearing a hat. He seems to be just terrorizing people. So you're just going to go to Kmart and scare people scare children Go into the toy aisle yeah, I make sure no one's anything The kids flee and then I go think we do you do your thing. And then I run away too and I'm like,

Oh, that was so scary! What the hell was that? I wonder what you think she was saying about Santa? That can't be true, right? A good place to scare people would be like a mine. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Because then you can just huddle down as if you were butter and rock. Oh!

As the pickaxe is about to hit your head, giving you amnesia. You quickly burst up! The pickaxe bends about to hit your head, giving you amnesia. You quickly burst up. The pickaxe bends itself in my head. And I turn around and I'm like, what is going on? Why am I here? They scream, run away. You're like, what is going on? What happened? Who am I?

Guys? I appear to be huge. I can tell that much. I think maybe I am made of rock. Yeah. Maybe that's normal. I appear to be huge I think maybe I am made of rock. Yeah, the minor that's normal. Are you I notice you're not made of rocks Yeah, so can you please take them to the other rock men? I'm also the only guy who has a pickaxe in my head And I'm embarrassed by that Is this the fashion of the time? Am I wearing a hat? Am I wearing it right? I think what the big takeaway is right now

is someone should please take me to the hospital. Yeah, one way or the other, I should go to the hospital. I do love one of the miners running to the foreman and being like, one of the rocks came to life. It's so confused. That rock doesn't know what it is. I think I'm a magician. I turn a rock into life. And I'm just like at That rock doesn't know what it is. I think I'm a magician. I turned the rock into life.

And I'm just like at the foreman's office and I'm like, hey, I'm the rock. Can someone tell me what's going on? My pickaxe did this. I have no idea what's going on. I'm seeing a lot of other rocks that aren't sort of up and about like me. Yeah, I think maybe that the pickaxe is maybe magic and made you an alive rock man.

Well, I gotta keep it in my brain. Well, obviously. Dude, we don't want to move that. If the rings, say, fell off my fingers, and I became a little boy again, would I die? Yeah! I think he's still the thing. I think you gotta touch the rings. I don't know how you undo it, though. Yeah, I feel it's through the back it Yeah, another thing that's very weird

is Benji takes a cure at one point in the series because he's sick of it. I guess so so we can't take the rings off Yancey Street gang steal one of his rings like if he can take the that's very strange Thing if it's a choice Why is it two rings it what would happen if I had a ring on yeah, you had a ring on they touch the we touched Our rings would we become half the thing each become a two-headed monster Battered by rocks and don't turn into anything and just die Oh, I forgot about how the rocks come from nowhere

That sort of wrecks my scaring people from a toilet or a chain Even more scary scary because it probably just be pelting through the side of the yeah, that's true. That's true And then you could burst out big like Can I do it at cemeteries I'm just thinking of places where it's scary like a hide behind a grave till a morning family comes up hiding behind a grave I'm your grandma come back. This is what ghosts look like This is what ghosts look like Yeah, you could do that. Yeah, that's great It's because like I got no reference for whatever obscene. Yeah, I guess that is what these ghosts look like. Oh my god My problem is that I have I have the classic scooby-doo issue where if um the morning family. I'm scaring don't run away

What you standing? Do I run away? Oh my god grandma Grandma's not Yeah Grandma's not dead yet Oh fuck I should have ride the grave I should have ride the grave

Also yeah If you're in the Scooby Doo situation where they finally Capture you but like and see The thing is actually it's You're joking on my fucking head Dude yeah, I just fucking look like this Okay, yeah, I turned back into a guy like you would lie Okay, I'm a liar!

I'm a liar! Is that a cry? I'm a little boy! That's not a lie! Okay, Santa wasn't real, so... Maybe I'm a truth teller! You don't know! Yeah!

One thing I say is a lie, one thing I say is not! Yeah! What are we gonna do, Scooby-Doo and the gang? Okay, you gonna kill me? Exactly! Let me go! You're gonna shoot me right in the head? Right here? Right now? You're gonna kill me in your van? Yeah, kill me in let me go on shoot me right in the head you need me to your dog nobody no crime whatever Christ we're not gonna kill you then I'm on your

band did and why the fuck what are we doing okay if you're gonna go fucking friends you better slit my fucking throat right now. Oh, let me out of this fucking van. Yeah, okay Then we can do your thing Several yeah, I just hair Scooby doing And then I run away I Met you felt about anything really do your thing Yeah, like say, you know say Scooby is next to you or whatever and he is pelted he get pelted by rocks I don't know it's gonna. I mean like in the transformation. We saw

Benji was also standing next to people and that oh yeah, oh wait no he was standing next to a car Yeah, but the car was car was fine. Yeah, I think the rocks kind of it then match the magic kill Scooby-Doo Yeah, I think the rocks kind of if they're magic they're magic You should have killed me I can't feel my Just taking up most of the front of the car we'll go south of the border do you keep bleeding out? I'm Ryan. Roto-Ros right. Roto-Ros right. Right. You're ridding me right now. Yeah, that'd be awesome to be the thing. And take Scooby and the gang.

On the scariest adventure in life. Down Mexico way. Yeah, Scooby's lost mystery. As we're approaching the border I'm like, we're a family, say we're a fucking family. Say we're a fucking dog. He's a fucking dead dog, we're taking him back to Mexico. To bury. To bury it alive.

Reap me to a hospital. I shouldn't be arrive. I'm half a rock We're taking you back to Mexico to Barry No, this is our rock. These are my four sons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two of them women, whatever. Please, please let me go. Yeah, I think that's probably what I did.

Two of them women, you're a rock boss. My dick still works, thank you very much. Yeah, thank you for checking. Santa's not real. What? Yeah, think about for checking officer. Santa's not real. What? Yeah, think about that while I go. As yeah, as they're shocked, they say, really, just keep going to Mexico.

Yeah, exactly, dude. Wonderful time. I think it's a great plan. Your plan's good. Kill Scooby Doo, go to Mexico. Start a new life. Working for the cartel. You've got a van. You're working for the cartel. are you keeping your four sons of Fred, Velma, Daphne and Jack? Yeah, yeah.

If you leave me, you know what will happen. Exactly. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just Please rub me around my wrist RUN BUDDY, REEL ME Reel me, reel me reeeeee No! You're a half dog Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I fight live dude Would you ever take the rings off no no no no no what border security is gonna stop you exactly dude I like idea of one day just getting sick of it. Yeah, it's been like do you think turn into a little boy again and just leave Back yeah, I had a normal week that was crazy Just leave it half scuba the game With the car involved in the car with the car towel at this point embedded. That's fucked up to half a dog yuck

I'm sick of looking at this off. I think this is about run its course. Yeah, I'm looking at this. Yeah I'm washing my hands of this. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go home. Yeah, I'm sick of this. I'm going to go back to Kmart. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. I miss when I was scaring children. Yeah. Took it too far. Yeah. I think I can admit when I take it too far. I think that's one of my greatest strengths. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, speaking of strengths, I think I'd just use the thing ring solely whenever I needed to lift anything heavy. Yeah. That's pretty clever. That I needed to lift anything heavy. Yeah I don't know when that happens Like can you remember the last time you weren't strong enough to do a thing you wanted to do like not strong enough I mean there's always like question, you know, like I could or I guess because I Moved a couch whatever. Yeah, well, you can remember

I can't remember the last time I like like well It's fun. Yeah, it's just occasional. You know you become the thing yeah do that. It wasn't hard to move said couch I like getting some messages about you needing help moving a couch doesn't feel like it was the easiest Well, I just needed one other person yeah, but how long did it take you to get one other person? Maybe like I don't know like a day or two yeah, it depends if you're the thing I guess you could have just done Was it a Workday you usually have able-bodied adults in your house Yeah, I think the thing is that if you had the thing I mean you also have a wife

But the problem is you have a kid yeah who can't stand up yet. Yeah, you can't be moving Yeah, so it's like yeah, but if I was the thing it would just make it easier Yeah, but I wonder if you're um would you wreck your floor if you became the thing? Could you walk on the floor as the thing and not fuck your carpets? Like a touch up be like, yeah, like, it's hard, sharp, rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. In the bottom of the thing's foot's surely not flat. Right?

No, it'd be, it'd be- How would you, oh, the first time you're the thing, you'd be like walking as if you were a dog wearing socks. That would be crazy. Yeah. What's the haptic feedback the thing gets from his rock? I'm presuming there would be some he does He does hold stuff, you know all those kind of things. So I'm here. There is a lot

But it would take some figuring out maybe his rocks aren't that course Yeah, I think what would fuck you up if you get thing powers is that you're like actually you've needed a lot more than us recently I can't remember the last time I needed to move something heavy or wasn't strong enough. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I was moving stuff in here earlier today Okay, so yeah, but like it wasn't your car broke down recently You could have just picked it up and walked it home. That's true because I think the threshold of what you can do rises Yeah, so stuff that preview like right now. You can't think of it because it's impossible You would never assume you could do it

Oh, but you've probably been in situations where actually having that level of strength would be quite you well Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah my car breaking down like a broken like trying to reverse into my backyard It was kind of thing of like this sucks. I needed someone to help me push it Yeah, so I have to wait until you know my friend came around but like if I was a thing sure I could turn into a thing and push it but then would I wreck my car? Yeah, yeah, it's like question, you know, I you know first of all Yeah, but then you'll see you gotta like turn it but then if I'm pushing it, yeah Like the car if you push yeah, but you can probably carry it. Okay, just carry it. Yeah. Yeah, but then I'm gonna put it down I feel dangerous. Yeah, it's like, you know

Drop it. But I think if I turn into the thing in the in the house I'm adding weight. Yeah, like you know I drop it but I think if I turn into the thing in the in the house Hmm, I'm adding weight. Yeah, just rock And so then am I like, you know causing some like this on a slab or is this? Yeah Yeah, well the bottom floors on a slab, but if you say oh turn into the thing That's usually like other the problem is taking shit down the stairs. That's usually like, oh the problem is I've got to take something down the stairs, right? That's the problem. So then you've got to be like, oh, first off I don't think the thing is fitting in that, like, you know, down the stairs. Your little corridor down to get downstairs.

I'm fucking up my own house. Yeah, that's true. I think... Things can wreck your house. I think I would use it, I'd turn it into the thing. You know like when someone parks in an annoying way and I'm taking up to Push Did you become like say getting to construct you know about yeah struck work But like the instruction work so like demolition and like could you be the wrecking ball? Yeah?

Yeah, but it's hard to imagine what they would pay Wrecking ball. Yeah. Yeah, but it's hard to imagine what they would pay. Hmm Am I hiring you well I can it's well, I'm cheaper than like hiring Expensive and a wrecking ball operator. I feel this special training involved. Well, I mean the baby just run at a building Charging the same as a crane operator that uses a wrecking ball Yeah, surely that's still cheaper because you'd have to the guy would then have to hire the crane Yeah, what are you imagining you just run into it from the ground floor? Yeah Well, cuz a wrecking ball is often like in the middle of the building Oh then I just climb the stairs and bang out the top. Oh, that's true

Like I can just knock out I can destroy a building pretty easily I think you're not meant to destroy a building from the bottom. I don't know why Collapse you go you can do it from the top floor down. Yeah, I can start punching pylons or whatever Yeah, that's true feels wrecked Ralph style, but I don't think he ever knocks down a house. No, but I like imagine It's good to picture Yeah, I reckon you could get into can you know? Although if you go you can't go onto the second floor because if you put you on the second floor you fall through to The ground floor that's true

You're right you just go up as a little boy you go up as a little boy you stand on the pillar or whatever Yeah, become the thing and just all the way down to the bottom. Yeah. Yeah, you could destroy you what a good houses Yeah, we could drop you out of stuff. Yeah like from a height Their storyline where they used Hulk as a weapon of that Push banner out of a plane. Yeah push the little boy out of a play We should have just turned the thing Yeah, I'm imagining like Red Bull No no no no no no no no no no no there a way to fake it? So that it looks like you were the little boy the whole time Like if you just become the thing at the last second for like five seconds thing ring do the thing boom Thing ring do the thing then you're just a little boy. That's true. Everyone goes. Oh my god. He survived the fall

Yeah, I Drink a red bull Okay, so you want to sponsor Get a sponsor as a thing. Yeah, then claim that because of whatever you're being sponsored by in this case red ball Yeah, you're able to accomplish and the damage of correlating in dinner anything about like what Claims you can make in advertising and marketing? Well it works for him. This little boy, well yeah it'd be weird because as a little boy you gotta be like, hey Red Bull, I'm a little boy.

And I reckon as a little boy. Red Bull loves getting emails like that. Hey Red Bull, I'm a little boy. I'm a little boy and if you sponsor me I will jump from space and I will, nothing else, just me, and I will land on the earth and I'll be fine. Oh, crater the earth. I'll crater the earth and I'll be fine. Can you give me some money? They're going to be like, no.

Please don't jump from space. Little boy, leave me alone. What are you saying? I'm just a normal little boy. Let me jump from space. I'm just a normal little boy who's immune to damage. Let me jump from space. Would that?

Yeah. No. Like how heavy is the thing? I don't know, it's hard to say. Well, it depends. He always seems pretty heavy. Yeah. I wonder how many, even if we've got stats, thing stats.

Are you imagining if he jumped from space into earth, would it be like a meteor? Yeah. I think a meteor has more momentum than that. And also a meteor has more mass. Ben Grimm is not heavy. I mean, he's heavy, but he's not. Like he's not a ton?

Yeah. No. The Hulk is a ton. How heavy is Ben Grimm? 227 kilos. Oh wow. So you could use the stairs. Yeah you'd be fine house will be fine. Yeah, okay It's good a punch in I guess yeah, could you use it? Just like you know it's just like extra security like live a little more dangerously because you know

You know you're not gonna get hurt things only six foot tall. Yeah, that's weird really That's weird cuz I mean I've definitely seen art of him fighting the Hulk with the same size Yeah, the thing is officially six feet tall and 500 pounds However, he is often depicted as being much taller and therefore presumably heavier Well, yeah, cuz you imagine that he's towering over everyone else. Yeah, absolutely We want him to be huge you want it to be gigantic at least, you know eight foot Yeah, yeah, yeah, like if he's being offensive his punch in Bigfoot or whatever They should be the same size. What about this for a thing use? Yeah. Oh wait, no

Yes, I was thinking Stripper but then I remember you start as a little boy. Oh, yeah. Oh What about well, I mean in this situation We've gotten kind of confused if we start as a little boy or just start as our so well If I start as myself then what about as a stripper? Yeah, and I start I come on stage dressed fully clothed. Yeah, and then I say Bada da da thing ring do your thing then I explode out of my clothes Yeah, completely naked thing dick swinging in the wind. That's nice. Well, yeah, I think you come with a blue thing

But you could rip that off. That's hair. And then you got rock dick. Yeah Yeah exactly and I go ladies is this good Fuck you lady you've never seen a rock dick. It's at least Like that is that like a statue's What's the difference? Well, this is a living rocks a It's like made of smaller like Just rock. Yeah, but no, there's like a knob. Yeah It's not a statue cuz like, you know, if he saw if Medusa saw him it would still work Yeah, exactly. You wouldn't that's why I asked you to come to every one of my shows to defend me

It's kind of just looks like to me though. I understand that it still works or whatever But as part of this dance I might as well just be looking at a statue It's moving it's wiggling. It doesn't look like it's chiseled from marble It looks like it looks like it's made up of the small like the I have on my back Yeah, but little and on my making on my penis and balls. Yeah, and also It's impressive. What about my ass? And then I turn around and like that will be made of rocks.

Yeah. Doing anything for you? No, this is less impressive. What do you mean less impressive? Ass cheeks is rocks? That's normal. I think I've been arguing with the wrong woman in the grass. I'm very unwell.

I thought you stop it normal Racked by sexy dance argue with a loon I've seen a million rock man, and I've never impressed I went to space Sorry ladies, I should have known better than to argue with Tabitha this happens every fucking night I'm so sorry yeah I know yeah but I get so caught up I've seen a million rock dicks you're nothing special yeah why doesn't management get rid of us where she's seen all these rock? I don't think she has I think she just just what's dead. She just wasn't She's wrecking my show

He's just heckling I guess yeah as a titillating because he could do yeah For example with the stripping thing it could be you and like you're the attraction And so let's imagine you're like a Chippendales. Okay. Let's imagine a world where I am like inch like you are ripped right. It's like almost like a strip tease. But like it's almost like a burlesque show like you know like feathers or whatever trying

to like you know maybe we're not seeing something but every time you're like you know, like feathers or whatever, trying to like, you know, maybe we're not seeing something, but every time you're like, you know, maybe about to show a whole hog, it's thinking to your thing. And so you, it's like, and then it's like a rock monster. And then like thinking to your thing, you turn back. And then it's like, oh damn, I really want to see. But if I turn back, am I just-

But you still got to do the whole like routine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, it's sort of almost like a little dance you're doing but with like occasionally turning into the pig. It's novel. It is my grand finale. So assuming you're having a good time the whole time and I've done it, I've seduced the ladies, they've had a wonderful night at the club at the Pink Pig.

The Pink Pig. The Pink Pig. Come see the magical rock thing at the Pink Pig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See it's curly-wurly. And I've done the oink oink. Bam, bam. Am I like a pig? No, it's just a theme. Where the audience, we oinking at you.

Okay, that means we love this. The Pink Pig has interesting rules Okay, sounds like you're like man my life Wallowing naked but anyway, so I'm like bam bam bam the ladies have gotten off and then the music like maybe those guys do And then it's like da da da da da and then I'm like think we do your thing bam thing We're gonna do your thing bam thing you know what I mean like is it? I said a grand finale and then you turn into a monster rock a huge rock dick. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I go It's at least novel Get you off, but it's at least you're not gonna see it anywhere else. So let's you know

Tabitha I know you're lying. I know you're lying and I know this is yeah, it's encouraged to yell It's encouraged to yell Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up all of you. Sorry excuse me sorry. It's just very upset I know they said I should have gone to another strip club They will yell at you Specifically is a problem, but the rest of you ladies You're not great either. Yeah, no one else was gonna hire a man who became a rock man at the end of his accent This job I love this job. I love working at the big big with a woman encouraged to yell at you Not even in a sexy way just if they have a problem with

They've got very exacting demands. Anyway have a good night everybody thank you for watching me dance. It's been great. Been great. Lovely. Yeah. Yeah I think that's a good performance. I think that's great.

I watch it too. I think that it's definitely better than killing Scooby Doo and joining the cartel. Although he didn't kill didn't kill scooby The same magic that made him talk made him live as half a dog He can't be killed no matter what magic that makes you know thing. Yeah, I think right to his thing exactly I'm the fool. I think all good ideas. It's great. Yeah, I have them a juicer idea, but every day You want to be a statue yeah This episode everyone got to learn about Fred and Barney meet the thing. Yeah, which is false advertising

They never really met. Yeah. Well, they were like interstitials between them where they sort of did. Opening credits, I guess. Yeah, but that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could become the thing and just Proclaim you're like a caveman. Yeah, you met. The last episode of the thing he fights a big vacuum cleaner. Wow I hope that's what the last episode of Plum in the Dust does. Yeah, we get really angry. Okay, you're telling me that this would surprise you? If one day one of us comes in in a bad mood being like, I'm fighting with the vacuum cleaner. I hate it. Fuck the vacuum cleaner. Yeah, I can see that.

We could all be fighting with the vacuum cleaner. Shocked it hasn't already happened. Two out of three of us have had a big public fight with a toilet. Yeah, yeah. And it's only a matter of time My shower at the moment broken. Yeah Yeah, exactly. You're right. We will fight a vacuum. Yeah I lost that fight to that toilet. Yeah, it sucks. It's groomed dude. Yeah, I barely won

Yeah, yeah drove you insane. It drove me crazy. The taller took, but Yeah, man. Well, on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joe. Ding ring, do your thing. Plum in the Death Star. We still got it. Come on. Plum in the Death Star.

Do your Death Star? No, Death your, do your Star, what rhymes with star? Far? The Plum you the public that star you can go far I mean that's so they'll never go far hit listen in your car As we always say, we've still got a beautiful sign off. Plop in the Death Star, hit listen with your car. We're rapidly approaching 600 episodes and they're still good people I'm saying. Still really good. You