Plumbing the Death Star - Is Having a Nightmare on Elm Street Even That Bad?

Episode Date: October 18, 2020

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On our website. Sanspantsradio.com Hey everyone. And welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, is having a nightmare on Elm Street even that bad? i mean you get killed by freddie you die that's bad dude i don't know if you know this but getting freddie krueger is bad news so the thing with getting freddie krueger okay so yes you can die but the teens have so many nightmares before they die. Or ignore heaps and heaps of warnings and then are like, What? Oh my god, it's Freddy Krueger!

Oh no! So you're saying... He got me! In the guts! So you're saying if you were Dream Warrior'd and ready to combat freddy it's not such a big deal who cares he's just an old gross man he's just yuck to look at yeah and uh this also is a rare rare plumbing the death star event where i have recently watched the first and third nightmare on elm street so i should second all right no the second one don't worry nothing important happens yeah it's this it's the first one again but different fellas i get it okay the third one

is when the rules change a bit more many ways to kill a cat or whatever yeah yeah exactly can't swing a cat in here baby the christmas cat gets the pudding i know the science yeah it's a dog's day afternoon cat dog um so once they realize like the dream warrior stuff happens um obviously and you are what you dream but the people that's true dream warrior that's just good life advice yeah you are what you dream dude hey hey i know what they say hey hey hey hey if you're out there you're having a hard one i just want you to know yeah you are what you dream. Yeah, what you dream, that's you.

Don't even question it, baby. Okay, so do I am what I dream? What does that mean? If you dream, you do or something. What's that song? Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, the end of Rocky Horror. That's the song I'm thinking of.

Okay. I don't. Everyone listening knows. They know. The Venn diagram for Plum in the Death Star and the Rocky Horror Picture Show annoying the soundtrack flawlessly. The Venn diagram is just a circle, baby. Everyone's like, if you can dream it, you can do it. Yeah.

Don't dream it, be it. Same shit. Don't dream it, be it. Same shit. Don't stop dreaming. Don't stop dreaming. One of those was good advice for dealing with Nightmare on Elm Street. The other one, bad one. Do stop dreaming. Anyway, so what I was going to say was,

I've seen these movies recently, so I should be able to, we as a team should actually be able to approach this in a way where we don't get every single aspect of it wrong and we can also expose that freddy krueger is just some ugly fuck with finally an episode without angry emails sweet all right let's do so excited okay dear plumbing the death star never mind that's all the emails will say sorry to bother you. Now, the only emails we're going to get is like,

how did you mess up Rocky Horror Picture Show so badly? We got there at the end. Don't dream and be it. There we go. We got there. I'm sorry. We figured it out. Unsend.

Great. Good lord. Come on. It's when Frankenfutter jumps in the pool. I remember the scene. It's right at the end. Yeah. Any sensual daydreams

treasure forever can't you just see it see i've got the lyrics in front of me i'm there they are we we did the research so so dusha when freddy when freddy krueger comes for you does he enter your dreams or does he make new dreams? Well, I think we'll go one step back to why Freddy does what he does and etc. Why Elm Street is important for the nightmare on. Yes. So basically, at some point in the past, before the teenagers of Elm Street were born, or just as they were born, around the same time. The movie's vague. The moment they were born.

The exact moment they were born. Around the same time. The movie's vague. The moment they were born. The exact moment they were born. The moment they were conceived. That's what I'm going to throw into the hat right now. Yeah, good. So the parents of the Elm Street teens, there's a child murderer out there named Frederick Kruger or Fred Kruger or whatever they call him. His name's Freddy, but they keep referring to him as different names.

Anyway. Frederick Kruger, not as scary. No. Sounds like he works at a bank. They definitely call him Fred Kruger a bunch, and that also sounds like he works at a bank. Freddy is the only scary version, and I don't know why. Anyway.

Yeah. So Freddy Kruger, child murderer, gets taken to- He's killed like 30 kids or whatever. That's a lot of kids. Gets arrested, taken to jail, killed like 30 kids or whatever uh gets taken to gets arrested taken to jail and then during the court trial someone signs the wrong thing for a search warrant so he is released so they're like well we can't find you guilty you we fuck something up so the parents like you have this clerical error that lets you go kill children yeah so it fucks it up the parents

like not we'll have none of this. They all basically become Batman or vigilantes. I prefer to imagine them dressing up as Batman. Track Freddy down and burn him alive as, I guess, punishment.

That's less Batman and more vigilante. Yeah, there's Rorschach. You know. He killed our kids. Let's burn him alive. And they make a pact to not tell anyone

that they did it because, you know, murder's murder. But if you killed 30 kids, you know. Imagine it's like the three of us are there and they're like, let's make a pact. And I'm like, we're not going to tell anyone. And I'm like, yeah. Like, Jackson, Jackson, you got to promise.

I won't tell anyone. Jackson. I'm not gonna. Why? I'm not gonna, dude. Clips are sealed. Jackson, who are you texting? No one. I'm not gonna. Why? I'm not gonna, dude. Gloves are sealed. Jackson, who are you texting? No one.

I'm tweeting. Jackson, why at the news? No, stop. Whatever you... Just set some bloke on fire. Are you filming this? Are you filming this right now? Hey, everyone.

Jackson Bailey here from my blog. Yeah, just set a bloke on fire. Don't know why La Mayo La Mayo Ruffle Mayo dude remember to like, comment and subscribe hey check out the newest

episode of Hot Ones it's Freddy Krueger instead of eating hot chicken he's burnt he's burned alive Freddy Krueger who is this guy? me and my friends everyone say is this guy? Here's their faces. Yeah, me and my friends. Here they all are. Everyone say hi.

Everyone say hi to my followers. I can't blur you out. It's live. Twitch.tv slash Jackson Bailey. So that happens. And then Freddy comes back when the kids are teens to exact his revenge. He wants to kill every child that is a descendant of the parents that killed him.

I mean, that's not really revenge. It's just more being a piece of shit. All right. That's just further murders, really, Freddy, isn't it? Yeah, because revenge would be killing the adults, but he doesn't do that. Yeah. And I suspect...

Well, I mean, he loved killing kids in life. Who's to say he's... I'm guessing that passion hasn't left him. Yeah, of course. Say what you want about Freddy, but he's passionate. He's stuck with what he knows. You've got to respect that. Also, every time he kills a teen, he gets more powerful.

Okay. Because teens have dream powers? I think revenge is making him stronger, maybe? Do, in your head, teens have more power or less? Because more because they're more virulent, but less

because they've had less chance to accrue power. Yeah, for some reason for me... I'd kill old people, I think. For me it goes, babies for some reason have the highest amount of dream juice. Well yeah, highest amount of potential. Yeah, then it dips to roundabout when you're in your teens. But then by about mid-20s, it becomes good again.

And then when you're, like, after 70, that's, like, delicious dreams because you've, like, lived a life and then you have all these, like, life experiences that might influence your dream. And I'll, like, I'm with you, Jack. Yeah. Eat the elderly. the elderly old dreams he doesn't eat anyone uh does he eat the dreams okay no he doesn't eat the power i don't look

one second soul up i did watch that so jackson just a reminder that whilst zamit says that you get more dream juice in your mid-20s that is also the same time that joel zamet started having the same dreams as a little boy where he dreams about like a magical dog that jumps high or whatever that's his best friend so yeah joel zamet claiming to be a dream expert here probably shouldn't be trusted i would say of all of us zamet's the only one who's cast actual dream magic and given the dreams of an early 30s man to a poor 10-year-old boy is waking up. Mom!

I've got to, like, I really have to stress this. Like, this is something I genuinely believe, is that I have somehow switched dreams with a 10-year-old boy, as there are a lot of times in my life where I should be having stress dreams. I'm just not. I'm having the best bloody time. Again, had a magical dog friend. He just jumped real high onto the top of houses.

It was fantastic. I woke up grinning. Another dream, me and Terry Crews were best friends. That was the dream. That was it. That's incredible. The only way I can think about this is like is um only very recently i've started having like stress dreams that are more that

are based around exams so your kids growing up i know sweet so it was for a while i figured this was like maybe a curse on them and not me and like i was just like a beneficiary of this you're about to live through high school again. Yeah! I think it was like a monkey paw thing where I'm like, yeah, I've got the dreams of a kid, this is great. I have childlike wonder when I'm asleep. And now I just get teenage stress dreams about exams failing and puberty.

You're going to wake up crying and your partner's going to be like, what's wrong? And you're going to be like, I dreamt that Stacey Betterman rejected me. And she's like, who's that? And you're like, I don't know. I had no fucking clue. I dreamt that we were going to a prom or a formal and I got stood up and I promised all the boys that I'd get some alcohol,

but I couldn't because I got carded. And now they hate me i'm over 30 i don't know what's going on yeah fred freddy's gonna have a time with you i guess so anyway he doesn't freddy gets powered i think by their deaths not by their dreams okay but can you answer my question does freddy create new dreams or does he hop into the dreams I'm having already? It's kind of like a mix. So if you... We move a little bit further into this saga.

The other Nightmare on Elm Street film that I know super well because I watched it mere days ago. 100% concentration. Not even a simple phone wash. No, no, no. No, sir. Some of the characters in Dream Warriors, when they dream, like, there's one kid, for instance,

it's like, in my dreams, I'm a wizard. So, yeah, it sucks. What a big nurse. That kid's the best. In my dreams, I'm a wizard, man. Yeah. There's not even a good magic thing to be. There's a kid that is, like, traumatized traumatized so he can't talk and in his dreams he

can talk and he's very loud like almost like banshee x-men okay so you get like powers in your dream but not everyone but some people yes uh and freddy is in that situation but also freddy is like makes you dream about like being at the place where he got burnt alive okay okay so it's like jackson here's the place where you burnt me alive yeah i was there that was sick dude i'm dreaming about my own twitch stream that's sick that was the most numbers i ever got on twitch dude i wish i could burn other cunts that'd be great do you have any bad friends i could burn other cunts. That'd be great. Do you have any bad friends I could burn? Jason, does he hate fire? Do you know him?

Does anyone like fire? So imagine being Freddy and being like, yeah, finally I get to harvest these teen dreams or whatever. And you just like plop into there and there's this like, aha, yeah, the guy that can't talk because he's traumatized. And just that screaming in your face so loud. You like oh my ears yeah the only thing that seems to like fuck so freddy has so many weaknesses as the series goes on and no one exploits any of them which is why we get to the question is having a night around elm street really that bad if you know it's coming which most of the people do it shouldn't be that

bad well what are his weaknesses what do you mean no it's coming because i would be sus okay so i've not had a bad dream oh i've come to have breakfast i guess yeah so what happens i had a bad dream as well yeah that's pretty fucked you're coffee that's basically how the first film starts one of the girls one of the teen girls is like oh man I had the worst dream there was a man

pointy hand so I'm like in the kitchen I'm like I had a dream last night where a cat I knew grow human tits and as I was suckling out of the nipples came horrible claws and a fellow yuck looking with no face came out anyway it was a sick dream man one of the best the claws came out and poked me down my throat and slit my throat from the inside

and then i take a big spoonful of porridge well the thing is yeah man if it so freddy gets stronger in a sense that uh at first he's just kind of popping up in dreams and scaring people and might do like a little like scratch or something but it's because the teens learn about stuff like this like they've put two and two together and then they're just like nah we'll be fine it's like no prepare a little bit um and they do dumb shit like they stay awake for too long so then they don't realize they've fallen asleep so they're kind of in a weird dream world where they think they're still awake you know like that half a sleep state you get sometimes yeah yeah yeah i'm just trying to work out why you're mad at them like what what

would you do like i'm mostly mad there's one hang. You're saying they've put two and two together. I have yet to put two and two together. Yeah, me as well. So Freddy pops into some dreams. Freddy pops into everyone. Say, for example. Example. Say, for example.

Say, for example. Say, for example, that the three of us sitting there having porridge, me being like, I hate porridge. Why did I sign up for this? Anyway, I'm going to have some toast. I'm making toast. And then I'm like, I hate porridge. Why did I sign up for this? Anyway, I'm going to have some toast. I'm making toast. And then I'm like, I had a dream. Some piece of shit scratched me.

And look, it's on my arm. A scratch. And Jack's like, me too, and points to his neck. That was where the milk from a cat came out. And I'm like, yeah. And the same thing about you, JD. I guess we're, what, Freddie just scratched your belly or something. And we're like, wow. Yeah. And the same thing about you, JD. I guess we're, what, Freddy just scratched your belly or something. Yeah.

And we're like, wow, that's weird. I guess we all scratched ourselves in our sleep and dreamt that it happened. Yeah. Okay. What's our next move? Maybe we've got to think about the way we sleep, you know? Maybe we've got to clip our nails. Anyway.

It would have to happen two nights in a row for me to think something yeah so it no even more than that because i'd just be like oh this is a weird reoccurring thing and a reoccurring dream is just a thing that can happen so the reoccurring dream does happen over and over again and then someone dies and we all witness it okay and then they still like that's the thing it's's not just like Freddy. Freddy isn't just like a little scratch, then you're dead the next night. It's like little scratch, worse event, worse event, worse event, murders. And a guy we hate dies, so it's fine.

I just feel like as we're discussing this and we're going along, I'm like, man, we must have watched something weird. There's some kind of weird kind of like, or maybe me and you are just kind of like psychically vibing because we're having that same weird dream. Did we see a yuck guy together or something? Yeah. Like I said, I said yuck guy, but then you said the yuck guy gave claws.

Now I think he also had claws. So I think maybe you just convinced me that what I was dreaming and my memory of the dream. I just don't know how quickly or how earnestly I'm believing I'm getting got by Freddy. Once we put two and two together, if it's like night four, right, and I'm like, something's going on. There's an evil man in our dreams.

We are getting stalked by a dream ghoul. I don't have the next step there. I'm like, that's scary.oul. I don't have the next step there. I'm like, that's scary. I hope I don't die next time. Yeah, so I have to say night eight where we're like, okay, guys, this is fucked. I guess it's a dream ghoul. Yeah, what do you expect them to do, JT?

Yeah, what's the next step? I'm like, I guess we do coke until we never sleep again. No, see, that's the thing. Like, don't do that. You just need to be like, I guess. do coke until we never sleep again. No, see, that's the thing. Like, don't do that. Just, you just need to be like, I guess more accepting. Like, so I think the most annoying thing. Yeah. The most accepting of the fact you're about to have a bad dream featuring Freddy and provided that you know, like if you see Freddy,

you know, you're asleep. I guess. Okay. And then what? I see Freddy. I'm like, I'm asleep! He slits my throat. And then, look. I'm onto my second piece of toast.

I just don't know what you want me to do. I just don't know what you want me to do. You want me to go to sleep? Okay. All right. That's where Freddy is, dude. Do you know that? He's in there. When we sleep, that's where freddy is dude do you know that he's in there well we sleep

that's what we see the guy makes sense to stay up i think it's bad i think that my approach and look this is probably gonna come out crazy yeah crazy i don't know why my voice did that i'm italian now i'm dreaming italian dreams yeah yeah it's more just like once you realize what has happened because also in the film your parents are the murder like the person the people that killed freddy and this dream is like so scary the first couple times you're like your parents are finding you like screaming in your bed okay um so let's not be like usually in these situations we would have to put ourselves in this situation And then like no one would notice

Or like we're adults And we all live in different houses But Because our parents play a massive role in this It's kind of hard to exclude Mom dad why did you burn this cunt He keeps coming to me He's so pissed off

He's got a yuck face What are you doing He keeps scratching my belly mom Why What do I do I just think that if you know that he's coming yuck face. What are you doing? He keeps scratching my belly, mom. Why? What do I do? I just think that if you know that he's coming at that point

and you know he's only in your dream, like you have, basically, you know he's coming. You know he exists in your dreams. I know he's coming.

What's next? Because I don't think you know, Dusha. I don't think you have a plan. Oh, so he's just like, okay, we know he's coming. It's in our dreams. But that guy we hate died.

So I'm worried. I don't want to go to sleep. I'm now on my fourth piece of toast and a coffee. Maybe my sixth. I'm not sleeping, JD, because right now, if you fall asleep first, I got some time. Yeah, that's true. Freddy gets you. Oh, yeah, they try this and it would work.

But a boyfriend sucks shit which is you just take turns at sleeping and you also you could just practice like drink like lucid dreaming i guess if you're doing shifts i'm a 30 odd year old man i've never been able to lucid dream in my life you've also never you want me to be 15 and be like, go on. Master it in a night. My favorite thing about this is douche is like, okay, to fight Freddy Krueger, you need to physically fight Freddy Krueger. You're saying the kids are cowards because they didn't put up the dukes and kill this fucking- What do you want from these teens?

A fucking Ubermensch? Yeah. Here's what I would do is I'd do the opposite. I would train myself to not dream. Just have nothing going on. There's nowhere for Freddy to go. Later on in the series, yeah, they just take medicine that suppresses dreams. That happens in the third one.

See, there you go. Great solution. Much better than physically combating them. Physically fighting Freddy Krueger. Well, not physically. Dreamically fighting Freddy Krueger well not physically dreamically fighting that's what you want douche ross to dreamically fight freddy krueger i do because i don't think that it's actually that bad he's got nine heads you die in your dream you die in real life

yeah he's got what do you mean this isn't bad you die in real life then you die in real life we live day to day so if there's just a crazy person coming for you at night who cares just avoid dying oh my god this is like if i was like hey every night in my room there's a man with a knife and if i go to sleep he'll stab me and you're like just fight him dude you coward'm like, that's not the issue, dude. No, dude. Look, every day you go walk down the street and there might be a guy that might, I don't know, run you over with your car. Just avoid the car. It's so, so simple.

It's not easy. He's going to get you eventually. So who cares? I think the thing that changes it a little bit is that Freddy Krdy krueger is just a guy like he's dead at this point he's haunting your dreams but when it comes down to it he's just a guy i mean i guess and he's coming into your dreams and your dreams are like sure we can't control them but like joel zamet knows he's gonna have a little boy dream that dog that jumps really high maybe zamet can just ride him and get away i will okay yeah see

that so you're saying flee freddy krueger for the rest of our lives no i'm saying all right so my plan or kill him jackson you got two choices magic dog and fly away while i get terry cruz to beat him up well you've got terry cruz and a dog that jumps as high as houses on your side i don't know what you're worried about jackson's got a wheelie bin he's horny for. He's in trouble. Yeah, I'm in real danger. Freddy Krueger, he pops out of the bin. He's like, this is a wheelie strange dream

because he loves to make puns. Yeah. And then he slices my penis clean off. And you're like, aw. Ow! I just, I feel it's bad. Like, a dream that way you can die is bad. But you can die in your sleep anytime.

That's a thing that can happen. Yeah, yeah, and that's bad. Statistically, I'm less likely to die in my dream now than I would be if a dream ghoul was in my dreams. So that means the dream ghoul is an issue that we need to deal with. I just can't believe you guys aren't confident that your brain would be able to combat just a guy.

He's not just a guy. He's a dream ghoul with knives. He's some fucking wizard. It's your dreams, Jackson. You can be whatever you want. He can enter them. I can't enter dreams. I'm a guy

You can also just wake up Can I? What are you saying? What do you mean what I'm saying? Think about dream logic Yes I can't just decide to wake up in my dreams Have you had How much cough medicine have you had today? Genuine question

What are you saying? I'm saying That in a situation So obviously If he was just Like the guy that we hate that dies Like he's dead The three of us were sitting around at the breakfast table

We're all having We're all sharing I've made french toast for the gang It's fucked That guy we hate died and apparently he was screaming about a dream or something. I don't know. He's dead, and we hate him. That's kind of cool.

But, like, yeah, my belly scratches are getting worse. That yuck face, man. He keeps popping up. I've had a lengthy conversation with mom and dad. We got to do something. Yeah. So I guess it comes down to, like like if you were having reoccurring dreams about it like a very specific demon or something like yeah yes that's what's happening

that's what's happening dude yeah no no no maple syrup with this or not sorry would you because we have to remove ourselves in the situation but where you're at like where you're currently at we can jump straight back into that but like, like, removing it back to reality, if you were having, like, a reoccurring dream about, like, let's just say a face, the same face, and you didn't recognise it from real life, but you were just, like, would you, like, look it up or something, or be like, oh, that's really weird that it's just, like, this one thing.

How many times has the dream reoccurred? Well, let's say three, but you've worked, like, it's been, like, terrifying. I might see a therapist maybe i might be like yeah i don't know i'm going through something clearly maybe a psychic i would say probably nothing really yeah it would have to be a lot more than three days of seeing the same face because here's the thing i might tell my partner after maybe day four. I might go on a very bad Google search of dreamt same face question mark enter.

What mean? Who this? Who this man? Because I think here's the thing, Dusha, is that reoccurring dreams are a thing that exists. So if it happened to me, I would be like, oh, that thing that exists is existing. I wouldn't think anything strange had happened.

And even if the thing that I was dreaming was damaging me in the dream and I was waking up damaged, I wouldn't immediately go to dream ghoul. I would be like ghost maybe. And then I might smudge stick my house maybe. And if that didn't stop it by that point it's too late and freddy krueger's getting me through a cat's tit yeah so i would just assume that that that thing that happens you know when someone like says something or they you you respond

to an external like stimulus and then it kind of pops up into your dream i'd be like yeah i gotta clip my nails or go to go to gloves. Am I scared of gardeners? What's going on there? Maybe I've got to mow the lawn. I think that is what's going on. I mean, I don't feel self-conscious about the length of my lawn. I don't really care. Sal, it's upsetting me.

Yeah, I should do that. I should do that and go to bed wearing gloves because I don't want to keep scratching myself. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Dusha, could you talk me through what you would do? Yeah. So imagine you've had a dream. Freddy Krueger has appeared and he's going to kill you.

What do you do? Well, talk me through a typical dream. No, okay. Talk me through a typical dream. Just one question first. Do I know how far in the timeline are we? Do I know my parents are involved or do I just... I've just seen question first. Do I know, like how far in the timeline are we? Do I know my parents are involved or do I just,

I've just seen this guy. You know that you are dreaming of the man that your parents burned. Yes, let's say. I guess I would probably, so Johnny Depp's tactic in this, and I think this is the point where I realized that like Freddy Krueger's.

He's a, he's a coward. You don't need him. Is he the guy we hate? Freddy Krueger? We hate Johnny Depp? No, Johnny Depp. Freddy Krueger. Is Freddy Krueger the guy we hate, dude Krueger? We hate Johnny Depp. Freddy Krueger. Is Freddy Krueger the guy we hate, dude?

Yes. Who's this guy? No, no, no. The guy we hate is a different guy. Okay. Johnny Depp is another guy that sucks in the movie, but he's the main character's boyfriend. And the main character, he's the one that they try the,

let's take it in turns, don't go to sleep, I'll go to sleep, and then if things are fucked, wake me up. Instead, and Jackson, I feel like that you relate really heavily to this. Instead of staying, he's like, alright, I'll stay awake. He lies down on his bed, puts on headphones, puts on a record, turns on Miss Nude

America, so basically watches a porno and falls asleep immediately and gets killed by getting sucked off into his bed. That's the best kind of ASMR. That's the one. Love that. You're like, okay, what position can I be, the most optimal position to not fall asleep? Lying down.

Lying down, obviously. On my bed, watching television, listening to music. With headphones. All right. Now, okay, I got my body in position. Okay, so what do I need? What do I need? Okay, here, my body in position Okay so what do I need What do I need Okay

Here Here Alright so What do I want to hear Relaxing music That's going to keep me Of course Keep you awake

Keep you wired Yeah yeah And so Jerking off is great Now usually I jerk off And go to sleep So Yeah

What if I just try to jerk off I reckon that'll make me Make me go awake Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right all right um i'll edge myself awake because what yeah so everyone in the movie just attempts to stay awake for the longest which i guess at first is a good strategy but then nancy who is the main character realizes that you can't just do that and i think that i would probably come to that same conclusion as well like you can't just stay awake because you can't like there is

evidence that you can wake someone up from a freddy dream it's not just like sure yeah you have to try much harder than a normal dream but you can do it um but still you haven't walked me through what happens you've been avoiding the subject Dancing around it What happens when Freddie Maybe you're dreaming about Tony Hawk being like Hey, Dusha, can you do a What's that trick that Tony Hawk did

That was very impressive The 900 Yeah, 900, they're like, Dusha, you need to do the 900 And he gives you his skateboard But then Tony Hawk becomes Freddy Krueger. And he says something like, I don't know, 900 ways to die. And he goes to attack you. What do you do?

Well, I guess I hit him with the skateboard. Like, you just work on what you got, Jackson. Fight back. Okay. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, did you know that we do too many shows Across the Sandspancer Radio Network? Take Why Am I Sad? A happy little podcast where four friends

Try their best to stop feeling their worst While we often advocate for therapy in the show You know what's cheaper? Talking to your mates And sometimes that's all you need Unless you do need therapy Because if you do, go to therapy Therapy's great

So if you want to hear myself chat to my good friends Cass, George and Zoe About our feelings and the things that are making us sad that week Just search for Why Am I Sad on iTunes or Spotify Or head to our website SansPantsRadio.com So your plan genuinely this whole time Has been to physically attack Freddy Krueger

A man who is just a guy No he's not Dusha He's a powerful ghost He's basically A dead wizard He's a powerful shape shifting wizard ghost And you're like I'll whop him With Tony Hawk's skateboard

Or Since I've got a skateboard and clearly the talents of a skateboarder, since I'm about to try a 900, I'll just skateboard away. No, no, no. You don't have the talent of a skateboarder because you haven't done the 900. You're just a man with a skateboard. I love that. This is what's going to happen.

Douche is like, I've got this. He goes to sleep. We watch. We hear him be like, oh my god, a 900 Teddy Hawk? For real? Oh, he's having the 900 dream again. Oh, I love that dream.

And then we see Dusha's throat get slit and we're like, I wonder what happened in there. Like, you skate away and as you're skating on the pavement, it turns into Freddy's tongue and then he swallows you and then you get stabbed on the pavement it turns into Freddy's tongue and then he swallows you and then you get stabbed in the tummy or whatever. You've got to skate away from Freddy Krueger.

Gotta do a 900 of Freddy Krueger. Eww. Well, fine. Maybe I'm the guy that dies that everyone hates. He was got by his own hubris. I'd be like, he's been telling me to physically fight Freddy Krueger this whole time.

Oh, my God. He kept saying, oh, maybe he's dancing around what he'd do, but it just came down to him whapping it with a skateboard. The reason Dusha was like a nightmare on Elm Street is not so bad is because Dusha believes he can physically fight Freddy Krueger that's why he's like why didn't these kids just punch the devil

that's the question also the alternating sleep also the fact that you get evidence that he is capable of being wounded and like can physically be a void like there's so much stuff that they just learn and then don't do anything with and i just think that i'm more capable than that but you don't care about that stuff you just care about me whapping whapping fucking freddy krueger with

a skateboard so what are the things that they've learned and how will you incorporate them yeah one by one all right what have we got So you realise So Nancy is Nancy almost does All of the cool shit So And later What do they learn What do they learn

List them all What do they learn Don't tell us the plot of the movie I don't care Tell us what they learn I don't care So they learn his name They learn that he hates fire

Okay They learn his name And that he hates fire At the same time Okay How is learning his name do anything? Well, because then they can... You're Freddy Krueger.

Deuce has said this would help. It's like, you're Freddy Krueger. Oh, no, I'm like that Rumpelstiltskin cunt. Don't guess my name. No, but the name is important because then it pieces the story. It's not important to hurt him I don't care about the story, I just don't want to die But then you learn his weaknesses

Alright, okay We learn his name and you learn that he hates fire Okay What do you do? Fire dreams What? Sorry, you've just said two words Fire dreams You just have fire dreams

Tonight I'm going just have fire dreams. Tonight I'm going to have fire dreams. Good night. Are you an avatar? What the fuck? What? Take up smoking in a dream. Carry a lighter.

Who cares? Take up smoking in my dream. What? I just am so baffled. You're just dead. You're dead dead Freddy kills you So quickly So instantly

Yeah Okay I'm like Guys I think I think a dream ghoul Is stalking us And Dusha's like Who cares

And then the next night I'm like Hey Dusha died Cause I guess He didn't think It was a big deal Holy shit I know the cunt's name

And he hates fire So I'm taking up smoking In my dream Or a real life Sweet fire dream Just be fire so I'm taking up smoking in my dream. Or in real life. Sweet fire dream. Just be fine, dude. I'm just gonna have fire dreams tonight. I'm sorry? He is also, I mean, Freddy constantly takes you in your dream to

the furnace that he got killed in. So, like, you know he hates fire and then he gives you the thing that you need to hurt him. So... If he dies from fire in a dream, does he die in real life? Sort of. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

He leaves you alone. You win. Yeah, there's no commitment to that answer. That wasn't a yes or a no. That's what we thought. Okay, okay. All right, so you've learned his name, and you've learned that he hates fire.

So you're like, I'm going to have some fire dreams. Okay, I want you to have a fire dream tonight, J. All right, so you've learned his name, and you've learned that he hates fire. So you're like, I'm going to have some fire dreams. Okay, I want you to have a fire dream tonight, JD, and tomorrow can you tell us about it? Yeah, I want to hear about your fire dream, man. That sounds exciting. I'm going to try for a water dream. You can try for an air dream. Jackson, a water dream is really easy to have.

Just drink lots of water before you go to bed. Piss yourself. Yeah, great, great. True. Whoa, it was real. I did have a water dream. He was wrong. Oh, my God.

Jackson's like, oh, my God, Freddy Krueger's not real, but now I just piss the bed. Okay, okay, how are you going to have a fire dream? Well, like I said, he constantly takes you to... So you've been taken to the furnace. No, but there is fire there. We're never going to solve the mystery of the fire dream. I was like, do you crank up the heating?

Well, yeah, it's one of those old school furnaces. There's literally a fire there. Just go to bed sweaty. Okay, never mind fire dreams. I'm just going to have to let that one go straight to the people We're going to have to Yeah Okay

Fire in your dreams if that helps You know his name You know he hates fire You're in the furnace You're like Haha Dusha This is where I'm

After I murdered 30 children Your dad and mum and some other cunts burnt me here Spooky isn't it? I'm like Woo I'm like yeah Hey how'd that happen again can you just show me oh are you pulling the punch and judy how are you hanged fucking oh yeah can you just show me how that works i don't get it and freddie's like what and you're like how do you

can you just do it again freddie loves jokes i thought you were at least gonna push him i i would i mean i look, I got two choices. I could gingerbread house witch him, or I could portion Judy him. They're both classics. Okay. But neither is clever. That's the trick. Okay.

Okay. So when that doesn't work, what are the other things that you uh what they yeah what else did you learn um well i mean the freddy so killing him in a dream does like stop him but not okay but what permanently stops him is uh burying his real life body giving it like a proper burial okay again is this so you've learned his name you learn he hates fire it all kind of happens at the same time stopped in his in his dreams but not really and you have to go and find his bones yeah but okay for clarity's sake i guess the name the fire the killing in the dream stuff all happens in the first movie at the same time okay and in the third film when freddy's back they're like how does it make sense he's back

we killed him in a dream and they're like oh no actually it turns out the only way to stop a ghoul is to give them like a because you find out he's also christian yeah how are you learning this a nun what no moms are none yeah whose mom freddie's your mom freddie's mom's a nun yes okay all right my dad's a cop So it's like There's lots of information Flying everywhere How did you find this out? A Google search?

No Because the nun The nun Realized Basically everyone Because it's a small town Yeah And there's murders of teens

Happening in sleep People are talking And then Yeah yeah yeah In the third film Nancy works At a correctional facility sort of thing. That's nice.

And a nun is like, yes, I know Freddy. And then tells her the story again. She's like, the only way- So you're saying that Freddy's not a big deal. It's not bad to have a nightmare on Elm Street because you can just bury his bones? Yeah. Is that what you're saying? You also know where he is.

Where is he? Knowing where Freddy is does not make me less stressed about burying this is like saying the devil a devil is not a wolf isn't such a big deal a dead wolf isn't such a big deal no well i mean a dead wolf isn't such a big deal it's just stinky but it's like saying a bear isn't such a big deal because you could just climb a tree. So if you see a bear, you're like, well, I'm not afraid of this. This is fine. Fun even. Yeah, there's a bear coming at me, but I know that I could climb a tree at any moment and the bear won't get me.

I'm not currently climbing said tree. Yeah, I'm not quicker than the bear, but I know I can climb a tree to avoid it. So I'm pretty comfortable and confident. So does the fact that I know exactly where the bones are, how to bury him and all of that. I know how to climb a tree, Dusha. I'm still scared of the bear. But you're next to the tree, I guess, in this situation.

Nevertheless, there's a bear. I don't know. I don't know how to get this across to you. No matter what, if a man is coming at me with a knife, I know that if I defeat the man in combat, I will be okay. Nevertheless, if you were like, Jackson, what was it like when the man attacked you with a knife? I wouldn't be like, no big deal.

I'd be like, pretty scary. It was bad. I'll level with you. I was shitting my pants. All right. So let's just pretend that I die early on very quickly. I'm somehow unsuccessful despite

all of my knowledge. Yes. I die. We're back there, we're eating French toast. Fuck, it's fuck that J.D. died. He just, he was so confident. Oh, I just accept it with a Buddha-like calm. Or I assume

that my dreams will be so upsetting that Freddy Krueger will leave me alone like he'll be like what's this tit fungus and I'll be like I've been dreaming about this a lot Freddy what if tits grew like a mold in my house and yeah so I'm pretty stressed about that but then I guess he might just be like tits to meet you and slash my throat I just don't think I could fight Freddy Krueger You know I feel that I'm hoping that my little boy curse Is kind of like

Gonna act in my favour here Where when Freddy tries to get me He just gets the kid Oh yeah true He does want to murder our children Yeah Yeah It's funny to imagine Freddy killing you

And the kid getting his dreams back. He's so happy, but he doesn't know it's because you were murdered. You know? Yeah. Where do your dreams go? That's the question. Your dreams are the plot of your name. That's weird, Zamet.

You're living in anime. So maybe that is worse than Elm Street. Fuck. Yeah. Maybe Zamet's child dreams are the worst it's just a lake house zamit wishes that he was dreaming about the lake house but instead living your name that's sad man i'm so sorry for you i'm sorry for me this sucks yeah yeah it's it's crazy that like zamet loves to come after people for loving your name but really he's just jealous that he can't escape your name

because he's living it well at the end of the day I'm dead but I wasn't scared and at least put up a fight so I died confident and that's all I could ask for I'm turning this around into a victory is this a win? no

I've done it again you died like a bitch all I could ask for. Yeah. No, no. I'm turning this around into a victory. Is this a win? No. Woo! I've done it again. None of this. Could kill Freya. Could kill Jason. Not deserved. Not deserved. Could kill the devil

from the exorcist real easy. No, no. None of this. This is the last time we let you pick topics. Your topics are just going to be like,

Godzilla? That's not so bad. And we're going to be like, why? And you're like, because you could just punch him in the nuts yeah next question you look at Godzilla where do you come up to his

shins you know what sucks getting kicked in the shins so imagine being punched in the shins it would suck not such a I know I didn't make a great point here but I will just point out that there's a big difference between a guy that is literally terrified of fire coming into your dream but he takes you to a furnace

yeah he's not that scared no he's a fucking idiot that's the thing freddy's stupid he takes you to a thing he's scared of but he survives and he comes back well i think you've just been the furnace doesn't matter right by fred... Like, why would he be scared of the furnace? He's gone into a false sense of security of being like, oh, yeah, he hates fire. So he's, look at him. But he's taking you to the fire to kind of... No, he mocks, he uses it because the thing is, it's his murder scene for him.

So he uses it as like a mocking thing. Like, he's not, he's stupid. He's not putting... But he gets to come back. It doesn't matter, right? Because you need to bury his bones to really get rid of him. Like, he's not... He's stupid. He's not putting... But he gets to come back. It doesn't matter, right? Because... Because you need to bury his bones to really get rid of him. So he's giving you, like, basically a red herring.

And he's like, aha, see? You got me! I'm scared of fire! And then you burn him. And he's like, oh, no, I'm gone. And you're like, haha, see? I got him. And then he's got two more movies to kill teens.

Yeah. Yeah, but that's way later on. Like, he's got two more movies to kill teens. Yeah. Yeah, but that's way later on. Like, he's like... Stop time travelling! He's still killing teens to this day. You've done nothing. I didn't die. You've achieved jack shit.

Freddy's got you. It's bad. It's bad to be Nightmare on Elm Street. It is. It's not fun. Would not recommend. I think it's fine. And on that note, I've been Joel.

I've been Jackson. And I've been Joel, the only brave one in this podcast. I'll look Freddy in the eyes and I'll be like, fuck you. This is fine