Plumbing the Death Star - Is Madrox just the worst for the MU?

Episode Date: May 26, 2014

In which our heroes look at the Marvel U and come to the conclusion that Jamie Madrox aka Multiple Man would ruin everything. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio. I want Pop Rocks. Welcome to Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the hard-hitting questions like, would Multiple Man just fuck the universe entirely? Alright, so, Multiple Man. For those who don't know who Multiple Man is, he's a mutant in the Marvel Universe, where his power is if he sort of hits himself or any sort of blunt trauma to his body, he creates a dupe. And he can do that as many times as he wants. By dupe, you mean duplicate.

Yes. Yeah, well, they refer to it as a dupe, but yeah, it's a clone of himself. Like, exact copy. An exact copy, including memories, knowledge, skills. And then he can reabsorb them and reabsorb their skills, memory, and whatnot. Oh yeah, that's another thing

with the duplicates. They're all sentient. So, each of them can go and do their own thing. Are they compliant? No. Some are, some aren't. They all have a different personality. Yeah, no, because they're like... And also, each dupe can then also create more of himself as well.

Yeah, all those duplicates have the same power of creating more of themselves. So, okay, an effective metaphor here is, when we first landed in Australia, we introduced rabbits. Yes. Okay. And one rabbit is a problem, a little family of rabbits, but that rabbit breeds and makes more rabbits, and those rabbits breed and make more rabbits

until you just destroy the environment. So imagine that with multiple men. Instead of the environment, the universe. I would say, yes, there are people in the Marvel Universe that are more powerful than Malcolm Maddox. Absolutely. Than Jamie Maddox. I will consider that. But as a day-to-day activity, living your life as a human being in the Marvel Universe that are more powerful than Mothman. Absolutely. Than Jamie Maddox. I will consider that.

But as a day-to-day activity, living your life as a human being in the Marvel U, Mothman could have more impact on your everyday life. It would be the most detrimental to you as a person. Yes. Because if Mothman was really wanting to do it, because he could be like, right, I'm going to duke myself out and I'm just going to go and just get all the jobs that I humanly can because I'm just going to go and just get all the jobs that I humanly can because I'm just going to apply for every single one. Chances are

he's going to get a large majority. The thing with multiple man is he's basically playing on statistics. Statistically, he's going to get at least enough jobs to make his income just ridiculously high. Statistically, if he wanted to be a dick,

he's going to sleep with all the women like multiple men could be dating half a city and that could be okay yeah men and women like they're all different personalities apparently so like it's not like they'd be dating the same person and like multiple men i imagine would be famous enough that people would be like oh if i see multiple men like if i'm dating multiple men and then I see a multiple man with another girl. I would like to think that human, it's just, we aren't that quick-witted. So I just imagine a slow

takeover by multiple men. Jamie Maddox is just slowly infiltrating. Like you're walking down the street with grocery shopping and you bump into him and you're like, oh, sorry buddy. And then you go into the milk bar to get some cigarettes. And there's multiple men. And you're like, didn't I just... And you go home to your husband and he's like,

hey, hey, hey. Have I been dating multiple men? God damn it. Every time, Jamie. Also, Jamie Maddox must have an awful time just being like, no, I'm the original. But would that even matter? Would you care?

Like, fuck it, they're all me. Yeah, but they all have different personalities. I feel like you'd have an existential crisis, especially if there's dicks that don't listen to him. Yeah, exactly. You'd be like, that's me, and he'd be like, no, fuck you. No, no, no, I'm the original. And he'd reabsorb you and be like, well, fuck you now.

It'd be fucking moon all over again. It would. But that's right. Multiple man can reabsorb the dupes that he creates, so he doesn't really have that problem, really. If he was being clever about it, he wouldn't get any that hated him. Because he'd pop it out, the guy would be like, fuck you, pop it in, make another one.

See how that goes. But that doesn't, yeah, so ideally, I think he would just ruin the economy for us. I think the job market would just be completely on the drain. Even just any knowledge, sort of learning activity, could really be summed up because multiple man can do so much like the problem with humans is that we have to limit our choice imagine his resume yeah imagine like for example and the thing with matt he's unlike other mutants he didn't develop at 13 he developed quite young like i think he's like six or something like that yeah he was born with the power yeah

was he yeah he was born to try so he at a young age, he is able to just split off and do as much as he can. The living that we do in the 80-odd years that we get is nothing compared to the living he can potentially do in the 80-odd years. Because for every 80 years, that could be another infinite amount of years. Yes. Like, holy fuck like too wait okay all right just say all right so you you know you go to high school high school like really just shapes who you are like any sort of learning that you do before you're 21 there's a whole 10 000 hour principle jamie maddox has done it all he can learn like the arts like before he turns 21

easily any single one of them uh he could learn business quite well he could learn uh anything that require anything that requires just time he can do that and then he can reabsorb it into himself but then he's going to be overqualified for literally every job yeah but then he creates them all no but like also his resume would include job experience. Assume multiple men has at least the base knowledge of just a guy, and everyone knows it. Okay, yep, sure. So he could go to 100 different universities, but he's also going to have 100 different job experiences already.

People will look at his resume and literally, shit, that's how excited I will be to have him on board. Yeah, but then he just takes over. Does he need to get a job? Does he need to absorb him on board. Yeah, but then, you know, he just takes over. Does he need to get a job? Does he need to absorb them into himself? Well, actually, no and no, because something we didn't discuss earlier was the fact that... Oh, yeah.

OK, so not only when he duplicates himself, it's not like a Terminator situation where he duplicates himself and he's, like, naked. He duplicates himself with everything that he was wearing and stuff. So in theory, if he's got like a wallet Stacked full of a hundred dollar bill Multiple man could ruin our economy with five cents He could, because

Because he just dupes himself, then he's got ten Then he's got twenty Forty Eighty It would take a while He probably shouldn't start with five cents No, it wouldn't take a while, because he's just like, alright That's 10 of me

everyone give me that change and then I'll do it again everyone give me that bag of change and I'll do it again it's probably still better to do it with like 100 bucks yeah yeah just save up otherwise it's just going to be like this is too much fucking change this is a bad plan oh wait no it's not I'll just multiply myself

and I can carry it all again just like a gold bar you know yeah so maybe he doesn't have to work he could just just crash our economy just for the power of just duplicating himself what a cunt multiple man will also be the cause and this is not straight away but i'm gonna posit that this will be the eventual outcome, the cause of nearly all crime in the universe. Because imagine a multiple man who's hit like 30 and is a billionaire. He's done everything. He's multiple man. He can

do everything. He's going to get bored. For some reason I just imagine that he's going to become a rapist and everyone in the city is going to get raped. You can't pin him down because it wasn't me. That was a dupe. I absorbed him because oh my god I am that was a dupe yeah i absorbed him because oh my god i am so sorry but then you've absorbed me that you absorbed the rapist so therefore i didn't absorb him i killed him but then you've murdered was that suicide is that

suicide a crime if you if one of your multiple men went out and committed like a rape and then you absorbed it with and because you wouldn't know until you'd absorbed it. You'd be like, oh, God, what did I do? Especially if it's like he raped one of your parents. I have a horrible, horrible... Yeah, what if multiple men absorbed just a horrific... What if multiple men got cancer? What do you mean? He did?

He got the legacy virus, which is basically mutant cancer. Was he okay? Well, one of his dupes died. And that was the point. His dupe got it. He didn't. His dupe did. And it doesn't matter.

Everyone thought that the real Jamie was dead, but nah, he was fine. Multiple man is basically a hydra as well. Say multiple man's reached the point in his career where he's just committing every crime in the city. Yeah. Right? Where he's committing acts of genocide, acts of terrorism, where he's sending armies of multiple men into other countries just for the shits and giggles. Yeah, you're saying he would

be a very good army. Multiple men could take over the world. Imagine someone tries to mug him. They punch him. There's two of them. Punch him again. Three of them. Punch him again. Four of them. And then all of a sudden, you're fucked. Yeah, the longer you fight multiple men, the more likely you are

to be gang beaten. This is very, very true. Have you ever heard of Grey Goo? Yes. Because multiple men is basically Grey Goo. For those who don't know, Grey Goo is a theory, right? So you've got nanobots, as a concept, little tiny microscopic robots. And now, what they're

saying is that the theory is that if we create these nanobots to make more nanobots, those nanobots will make more nanobots and more and more and more until you have this swarm that will start eating everything and destroy the world. Multiple man is like the human version of that. Yeah. To the point where I can see a future when multiple man's like 60, because he's multiple man, where the entire population of Earth is just multiple man's like 60 because he's multiple man where the entire population of Earth

is just multiple man. And then imagine what would happen if he absorbed all the dupes. It would just be one guy. It would just be one guy who killed every man in the world. Imagine his memory. Holy fuck.

He absorbs everyone and then just implodes from sadness. Like a blood nose. What have I done? I have lived. I have lived. But he's only 50. I mean, he's got another 40-odd years.

Yeah, he's going at it. Maybe he'll build a space program. Maybe. Because anything that requires manpower, he's fine with. Construction, he's done. Just ideas. Anything that involves learning, also, he's a scientist on that, done. Yeah, most of my man will just be like,

all right, I've got to build a rocket so I can get into space and fuck more shit up. I mean, I've had sex with everything on Earth. I've killed everything on Earth. I've got to go fuck me an alien and then kill me a space dog. He just absorbs one of his dupes that learnt rocket science, everything on earth i gotta go fuck me an alien and then kill me a space dog so he just he just absorbs one of his dupes that learned rocket science builds a rocket yeah then they go off conquering the known universe and the unknown universe so because who cares if like a dupe

dies no one that's the thing he could do like anything that we do that requires sort of you know risk assessment fuck it you don't need risk assessment. I love the idea of multiple men taking over the entire universe and filling it with multiple men. And some multidimensional being seeps in and is just like, what the fuck? It's all multiple men. All right, so I would say the whole point of this is to say

that multiple men would ruin your everyday life. Because, yes, other characters in the Marvel Universe are worse. Let's just put that out there. Like Hulk. Yes, he's going to trash a train, trash your living quarters, probably fuck up a city, right? But those are like one-off events. Granted, yes, Spiderman is going to go insane and snap and make New York a concentration camp. But, again, one-off events.

One-off events. You just go and get your Hulk insurance paid and you're fine. You're fine. Multiple man is there. He's a normal, in all intents and purposes, he is a normal human being. Yeah. Just a lot of them. If you didn't know who multiple man was, he could drive you slowly insane.

Like, if I come to uni one day, for instance, and he's in my class. Yeah, okay. I see him. It's fine. Then the next day I come to class, he's in my class, I leave class early, he's also at the place I'm going to go class. Yeah, okay. I see him. It's fine. And the next day I come to class, he's in my class, I leave class early, he's also at the place I'm going to go eat.

Yeah. The next day, he's on my bus. And then he's in my class, and then he's the place I eat. The next day, he's the driver of my bus, he's my lecturer, he's in my class,

he's running the place that I want to eat at, he's running the place that I'd leave, at he's running the place that I'd leave like run to screaming after I see him at the food place thinking I'm going insane also I think he would be the person who would be controlling information like a motherfucker eventually yeah

he would be the one like you know being the voice of the media being the voice of any sort of higher thinking eventually he would take those positions. You would turn on the TV and you'd be like, oh, it's Multiple Man, the sitcom. It's the 6pm Multiple Man news. Yeah.

Imagine being the last non-Multiple Man alive. Imagine slowly the scenario Dusha explained. So is Multiple Man killing us all off? Is that what he's doing? I posit to you that multiple man will hit a point where he is so dulled by everyday experiences where there is nothing left for him to learn

at the age of like 20. Yeah, that murder is just, he's like, I've done everything else. I can't retire. I don't want to just sit down. You can get like a murderous dupe I suppose this is an interesting discussion of the human condition left to own devices if I ran out of things to do

if I had done literally every other thing in the universe and had the capability to just kill someone and my alternative was just to die bored just be bored in like...

Yeah, I might. I'm sure I could hate... Just take five minutes and just rub one out. Just calm down. Oh my god. What if multiple men, there was a hundred of them, all whacking it. The moment of climax absorbs all

of them. The biggest orgasm ever He would just be like the best porn star To be perfectly blunt here He would just It'd be a new genre It'd be multiple man porn You wanna see multiple man?

Fuck multiple man Multiple man Double penetration Multiple man Just multiple man going to town with And multiple man would also work the camera So I feel like the camera would swing around at some point in the porn And just show that everyone in the room is also multiple men.

Just line it up and have you go with that poor actress or actor. I imagined it was another multiple man. Another multiple man. What if one of the dupes gets a sex change? And he absorbs it, does he get a little jayne? That's a terrible, terrible word. I don't know. Because I would think not.

I mean, there must be like a template. Because it's skills. A vagina is not a skill. No. Well, it can be skilled in the ways of the vagina. Well, yeah, but then he'll just absorb back and be like, I really know how to keep a vagina. I don't have one now, but...

If I did... I'd be good at using it because it's like tattoos right if he duplicated himself he doesn't get a tattoo if the original multiple man gets something done so if the original multiple man got a genie then I'm assuming

well even if a dupe got a genie then that dupe multiplied himself then you have lots of lady multiple men in fact if multiple man takes over the known universe then that dupe multiplied himself. Then you have lots of lady multiple men. In fact, if multiple men takes over the known... Multiple women? Yeah, if multiple men takes over the known universe, I again posit that with only multiple men existing, he's going to start changing himself to make multiple women

and then multiple dogs. So he would... You can't get an operation to turn you from... He'd learn how! that's alien tech man scattered throughout the universe all of the the civilizations he's conquered one of them's gonna have a machine that can turn him into a dog this is true i mean there was that one in like say when he went to canada and he got really like starving and basically maybe starving bored, but he ate himself and then became a Wendigo. There you go.

So then became like mortal Wendigos. What's a Wendigo? So Wendigo is part of a Canadian myth where if you cannibalize or eat another human being, you become this monster, this white sort of Wendigo. Like a big white Sasquatch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that was the myth. And so he first appeared, I think, fighting

Hulk? Wolverine No, Wolverine, yeah So in alternate universe in the future Jamie does it And because he becomes a Wendigo He can dupe himself And then you have Wendiguy

Yeah Oh, fuck So I put it to you That if you were this multidimensional being You wouldn't come in and just find multiple men milling around doing nothing. You'd find, like, just body horror everywhere. Chaos. You'd be like, that's a little dog man.

That's a multiple man and a multiple woman just living together. Also because, you know, there's no ethical issues of experimenting on a multiple man. Go nuts. If multiple man's experimenting on a multiple man, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He's like, it's me. I don't give a shit. He could be learning about the human anatomy, stem cell research, all that kind

of stuff that we sort of have this ethical issue with. I reckon for a while there would be a golden age of multiple man. Actually, there would be a time when having him on side would just, in sight, be a boom. It would be a time when having him on side would just, inside, be a boom. It would be the golden age of humanity, all thanks to multiple man.

And then they would hit a critical mass point, like basically a bubble, the multiple man bubble, where it would all just fall to shit. I think the best thing to do to multiple man is just shoot him in the head. Just like, hey, hi, I'm multiple man. Welcome to the academy and perfectively like okay come come out the back if you kill multiple man like if you shoot him he's still getting a wound therefore wouldn't he dupe straight away maybe then you drown him drown, drowning him might work, but then... Because there is, again... He'll just dupe himself in that.

Using alternate universe to put in the thing with the Age of Apocalypse, the fact is that they had to kill the original Jamie Maddox to kill the rest of the... Oh, so if one dies, they all die? If the original dies. Well, that's easy. Yeah. Then you just find him.

Is it, though? But how would you know who is who? I'm assuming he could just bury himself anyway. He'd be in a bunker somewhere. Yeah, not just like under the ground. Not just like dig a hole. And then like once a year just absorbs all of them and then multiplies again. Was there a food issue?

I would think he might either just eat himself. Well, no, it's not an issue at all because he can just make multiple man farmers. Yeah. You just have farming communities that are multiple-man. But I was saying, do the dupes need to eat? Or can he, like, I'm just going to reabsorb everyone, eat one meal, and we're good? Oh, that motherfucker. He's found a way around...

Okay, if multiple-man existed, everyday life would go to shit. You would then get raped by multiple-man. You will then die. Multiple-man will then take over our... He would do your eulogy and carry your casket. It's nice that after he raped us, he gave us a funeral. Yeah, he's nice that way.

After the funeral, he'll then do the same to everyone you know and love. Then he would take over Earth. Then after done fucking with Earth, would then fly to every other planet, give them the same treatment, and eventually every single thing in the

universe would be Multiple Man. Yes. So I think Multiple Man has the potential to be the worst thing for the Marvel U. Potential? I think it's... It's not even potential. He just is. He is the worst thing. Yes, but the thing that's stopping him is his own personal ethics. But that's going to break down

eventually. That's my point. He's not immortal. That's the problem. But that doesn't matter, because by the thing that's stopping him is his own personal ethics. But that's going to break down eventually. That's my point. I'm going to start writing. Well, he's not immortal. That's the problem. No, but that doesn't matter, because by the time he's 80, he's lived a billion lives. I still say it. Yes, but a 180-year-old man isn't going to be a big threat to me. Isn't it?

He would have to start his maniacal evil plans at about... No, no, no, no, no. Laters will be about 35, 40. Let's go back on this. All right, so you're in the 40. Let's go back on this. Alright, so, you're in the shower. You're just having a shower. All of a sudden, 80, 80-year-old men bust in. You still not frightened?

Are you still not frightened? All the liver spots and the wrinkly skin. I think multiple man is a definite end to the Marvel universe. That's how it ends. There's no other way. Barring some kind of magic space comet or you know

fucking apocalypse coming in and fucking shit up multiple man will invariably destroy the Marvel Universe yeah honestly

because I think no one will see it coming because again apocalypse coming in the theme like whatever it happens like every fucking Saturday

exactly and you're always going to it's going to be like a it's going to be a status quo it's going to happen

the heroes are going to like fight against that but the slow sort of assimilation of the rest of the world by multiple man no one's going to be a status quo. It's going to happen. The heroes are going to fight against that. But the slow assimilation of the rest of the world by multiple men, no one's going to see that coming. And when they do, it'll be too late. That's fucking hectic. All right, so multiple men would 100% ruin the universe.

It's not even up for debate anymore. He would, and he will. He just would. And it is invariable. There's no question. It just will happen. This has been Plumbing the Death Star, and I've been Jamie Maddox. And I've been Jamie Maddox. And I've been Jamie Maddox.

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