Plumbing the Death Star - Is Odin a Bad Dad?

Episode Date: August 20, 2017

In which our heroes hire someone to build a wall, become worried when he's nearly finished, so decide to make love to his horse as we ask is Odin a good father?Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our Melb Fringe Shows or UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help fundraise in aid of PSC Support? Just head over to sanspantsradio.podkeep.com and give what you can for a brand new D&D adventure! And if you’re wanting to know more about PSC Support, you can head here; http://www.pscsupport.org.uk.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Duscher: twitter.com/dusch13Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sants Pants Radio, powered entirely by the wishes of centaurs. tickets. Plumbing the Death Star is on the 16th of September and check out sanspantsradio.com slash live for the dates and times of our other shows. Now, enjoy the show. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star where we ask important questions like, is Odin a bad father? thought of a dark world or maybe actually because there is a potential that this happened. So I don't want to focus on too many of the old mythologies of the Norse and all that, but I do want to focus on just one in particular. Yeah. And this involves Loki's son, or one of his sons, and the building of Asgard.

I remember this story. I had this story as a children's book. Good. Have you heard this story, Dushan? I have not. Tell it to me. Okay. From the start.

Okay. Okay. So basically, the Asgardian gods, they go to this place and they're like, fuck, we want to build here. We want to build Asgard here.

This is a good place. But we need to build it. And so we need to fortify it as well and so they're like oh man it's going to take so long to build and they really don't want to because gods are lazy

yeah I get it that's weird because gods have powers if I'm missing anything please fill this in no that seems about right because I'm doing this

via vague memory and so they're like okay we need to fortify this place because frost giants are such a fucking hassle and they're always there. They're fucking everywhere. So weirdly, this guy comes in and he's like,

Oi, I'm a master builder. I can build you walls. And they're like, all right. What can you build it by? He's like, I reckon I can build this by in one winter or something like that. Yeah, yeah. And it's either Odin makes the deal first and then he gets the terms of the condition

or he's like, whatever, let's do it, whatever. What do you want? Yeah. So I think it's that he makes it, he's like, you can build this in one winter, done. Anything you want, deal. We got this. Oh, fuck, yes.

Sign us up. We'll make a pledge to the whatever. What do you want? And he's like, I want the sun. I want the stars. And I also want Freya as my wife. Yeah. And he puts back his cloak and he's a frost giant. And Odin's like, fuck.

That's funny because that means he's betraying the other frost giants. Potentially. So everyone's like, shit, shit. What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? And Loki's like, guys, chill. It's fine.

He's a stupid frost giant. He'll build it. And he won't get it done in a whole winter and we'll be fine. And everyone's like, fucking sick. Odin's like, my gamble has paid off. Nothing can go wrong. And then the frost giant's like, I got this. And then he's also like like not only do i have this

but my horse has this and he summons this giant fucking horse who's like this magical horse and he has a name that starts with s and i don't know how to pronounce it sleep near nope sleep near his father slop near slop near sleep near junior uh senior what That was a wrong sneeze It's S-V-A-D-I-L F-A-R-I Sorry can I S-F-L-A-D-I-F-A-R-I S-F-L-A-D-I-F-A-R-I

Basically it means I'm an unlucky traveller apparently I'm excited to see that Come full circle So he's like whatever I got this His giant horse comes in And everyone's like, whatever, I got this. His giant horse comes in and everyone's like, no, it's only one horse, it's fine. But then they start realising that the builder isn't really doing much.

It's all the horse. The horse is the builder and the backbone of this massive fortification being built. And they're just like, shit. Yeah. And so then... They should have let the horse marry that lady marry that lady they should have um so they start building the fortifications and all he's got to do left now it's like the last day of winter and all he's got to do is like put this like one final capstone in the gate and they're all like loki you fucked us loki's like what did what did i do and so then loki's like don't worry don't worry i got a plan. And then Loki's like, I got this.

Turns into a horse, a mare, a lady horse, as it were. And then frolics near Svadlfari. And Loki, as the mare, is like, fuck, being a mare is so good, isn't just running into the wilderness the best. But, oh, I see that you're a working boy and you're basically a slave to this frost giant. You're a dickhead. Ha ha. You don't even have a day off work, do you?

And then Svatl Sfari is like, what? No, I'm in charge of me. Yeah. I'm a free horse. I can do whatever you want. And then Loki is like, fucking bullshit. Try and catch me then, dickhead. And then runs off down the mountain. And then the horse is like, game on.

And chases Loki. And so then the frost giant is like, well, I needed that stone dragged up by my horse and my horse is not here. So I guess I don't make the wall in one winter. So I guess it's He doesn't get the sun and the moon.

And I don't get Freya. I guess I lost that wager. And then He was very calm about that. Yeah. Ah, geez. Whatever, that wager. Got it. And then... He was very calm about that. Yeah. He was like, oh, well. No way. Ah, jeez. But she was, whatever, that's life. Gee, Lucas, hey, I'm a gambling man.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Exactly. Sometimes you don't build a wall. And then the Asgardians are like, correct. But you know what? You did build the wall, so we should pay you something that we believe is fair. And so they get Thor's hammer, and they shatter his skull. And that's the end of that frost giant.

So his payment was death. They thought that was fair for the building of a wall. Because he's a dirty frost giant. There's a fine line between a crack to the noggin and the sun and the moon. Yeah.

It's like, hey, look, you didn't get gold medal at the Olympics so you got silver. So here's the silver medal, p.s. it's like, hey, look, you didn't get gold medal at the Olympics. So you got silver. So here's the silver medal. P.S. It's a bomb. Yes. You didn't get bronze, so we shoot you in the head.

Yeah. That's what that feels like. That's close. That's what happened to the Builder. But the Builder's horse, they were like, where's Loki? So what happened was, so Loki had been like, ha, ha, ha, you stupid horse, you're frolicking with me, you're chasing me, it's good. And so Loki kept running from this horse, but the horse is like,

I'm not giving up, I'm a magical great horse. And Loki's like, ha, ha, ha, oh, shit, he's not giving up. And so he just kept running and running and running until he went into the cave and And then that other horse was like, well, I got you in the cave now. Let's get our fuck on. And Loki's like, and they got their fuck on. Loki fucked a horse. Yes. Why did not Loki become a man and be like, don't worry about it.

Look, I don't know Loki's motivations or Loki's thought process. But I'm guessing he might have been scared by the horse But see I had this story As a child I had like a book of Norse legends Yes This seems like an explicit one for a child They were all explicit There was one that was like

Because Loki has three kids that are all kinds of fucked And it was just like Loki is a dirty whore And he slept with so many frost giants And had mutant kids But in that version of the story They were like like, Loki and the horse fucked and it was mad. So in that version, Loki was king. The horse is a lady? Maybe.

Loki's a lady. Yeah, Loki's a mare, a sexy lady horse in this situation. Come get this horse puss. Yeah. You want this horse puss? That is an unpleasant combination of two words. Sure is. Horse puss. I think, yeah, two words sure is horse puss i think yeah i think maybe loki was trying to seduce that horse yeah and being like look i'm so good at being free

you can't even take a day off work to fuck this beautiful horse yeah yeah and then all right we've doubled down on the use of it now and that's frankly not something i'm fine with and so then uh that horse is like damn i want to get all up in that. And then chased Loki for ages. And Loki's finally gone to a cave. And maybe Loki was just like, sick, come to this cave. Not realizing, I guess, at any moment, Loki could just turn back into Loki. Yeah, that's weird that Loki wasn't like, I'm just going to become like a mouse and get out of here.

But instead, he's like, nah, into this cave. And then they bathe. And then into that horse. So it was, yeah, so Svadlfari caught up with Loki, railed her good. Yep. And then, unfortunately, or fortunately, I don't know, Loki was like, well, now I'm preggers. And popped out an eight-legged horse called Slepnia, which means

wrong. Oops. It kind of basically does mean oops. It means like slip or slippy. That's kind of cute. It means slippy. So he popped out a horse called Slippy. It has eight legs.

So just imagine that. Eight legs. I'm a horse fan. Yeah. We all are here at Sense Transmitting. There's not a day goes by where I'm not wearing my number one horse fan t-shirt. There's barely a moment where I don't at least just remember a horse. Horses are great. But that's a gross horse.

Now imagine a horse with eight legs. And then, so he calls it Slepnia or Slippy. Or Whoops. Or Whoops. And then Odin is like, it's a good looking fucking horse. You know what's real good for this horse? My grandson, by the way. Not just horse, my grandson.

Yeah. Is if I ride that horse into battle. And he does. So, several things about that story. Who's most fucked? I'll rank it. Loki, number one, don't fuck a horse. Odin, number two, don't ride your dragon kid,

even if it is a horse. Well, I don't know about don't fuck a horse because the horse was a guy, clearly. A horse could talk. If a horse has enough cognizance to be like, fuck me, what am I doing working for this dude? I'm a free horse. I should live my life.

I can engage in a conversation with a horse,ki yeah and then i'm like yeah sex whatever it's not really a horse at that point yeah it's just a horse who's like it's still a horse is it wrong to fuck a centaur yes no it's good same situation just without the human stump bit. How do your tongue kiss a horse, Jackson? You can't. I mean, you can. Oh, wait, they're both horses. Yeah, they're both horses. And also, again, Loki's not a man.

He a god. And he's a horse. And he's a horse. For a god anything game. Go nuts. He was keen for it. Yeah. Don't fuck horses.

Look, Loki, if you're listening and you want to fuck a horse, you won't guess. Imagine that Thor Ragnarok just opens with Loki fucking a horse. Also, sneaky Easter egg, in Thor 1, is this Thor? Thor 1, just Thor, you see a bit of a flashback of Odin, Anthony Hopkins Odin, riding an eight-legged steed. This is canon, boys and girls. This is canon.

So that means Tom Hiddleston Loki. Yes. Fucked a horse. Got fucked as a horse. Yes. Fucked a horse. Popped out a baby horse. They just don't talk about it.

Yeah. What's the gestation period of a horse? I feel like it's quick. I want to say it's a quick one. Alright. So How fast can you grow a horse? Basically what happened here is that Odin is a gambling man

and made a bet and then kind of was like, didn't I guess not encourage and didn't kind of, I guess he kind of encouraged Loki, he kind of blamed Loki for the whole bet going awry. 11, 12 months. And was just like, all right, Loki, you got a plan. You get us out of this.

And then was complicit in his son making sweet love at a horse. But did Odin know that was the plan? Was Loki like, Papa. Guess what? Here's my plan. No, I guess he didn't know his plan. You know how horses love fucking dad? Yeah.

And Loki's like, gosh, boy, do I. Loki's like, two words for you. Horse, puss. We're earning our E today, ladies and gentlemen. Say no more. So then, all right. So I guess he wasn't maybe complicit in the whole thing. What's weird is that don't ride your grandson into battle.

Clearly, a female mare, who is clearly Loki, has to then come, walk back up the mountain. After being hard-dicked by a horse. Dick down. Yeah. Then being like, hey dad, it's me, your boy, but girl

in this case. Guess what? I'm a pregnant. Did Loki have to stay a horse for 12 months? I was going to say, if Loki becomes a man again, does he lose Guess what? I'm a pregnant. Did Floki have to stay a horse for 12 months? So I gotta stay a horse for 12 months. If Floki becomes a man again, does he lose the child? I'm assuming maybe just because of a pregnant belly going on. I'd say he wouldn't have a womb if he's a man. He becomes M-Prag as they

call it. He's a god. He can be praggers. He can have a womb. If he can turn into a female horse I'm sure he can have a womb. So he can turn back into a man that has a womb, that has a horse baby. Within the Norse mythology, there is like a 12-month period nobody talks about where Loki is glowing and happily pregnant. Yes.

But a man. It's hard to be a trickster god when you're that preggers. Yeah. And full of a horse. And then you just become a horse again to pop it out. Why not become an elephant? Make it easy for yourself. Why not?

Here's another question for you. Which horse has the biggest... Which horse? Which animal has the biggest vagina? I'm guessing elephant. Or what about a frost... Blue whale. Frost giant.

Oh, blue whale's a good one. I wouldn't even notice you gave birth. Especially to a horse. Yeah. How big are frost giants? Not that big. Or at least not from the picture book I had when I was way Because if you're a frost giant Popping out a foal

What about the I mean it's kind of off topic Okay off topic yeah sure alright What about the Norse myth About that time that Thor got tricked into marrying a frost giant Yeah yeah yeah By dressing up as a woman to get his hammer back.

But then when he gets his hammer back, he just massacres everyone. Yes. Yeah. That was organized by Odin as well, from memory. Yeah, and maybe a little bit of Loki. I just think that this part of Thor was a rude cunt. After giving birth to a horse, Loki gets very angry.

He tricks a blind mate into killing some fella. Oh, Baldur? Yeah. To be honest, I'm more on Od killing some fella. Oh, Balder? Yeah. To be honest, I'm more on, you know, Odin's side. Loki or Odin? Odin. Why is Loki angry that he gives birth to a horse since he was a horse and got fucked by a horse?

I don't think he's mad he gave birth to a horse. I think he's mad that his papa took his horse and was like, this is my steed. And he's like, that's my son. My horse son. But do we know that the horse son was like, was the horse son not like, Dad, can Grandpa ride me into battle, please?

To add more insult to the injury of Loki, I think the horse son was very much like that. To be like, Dad, let me let Grandad ride me to that battle. It'd be cool. I don't know why Loki, after that instance, was not like, well, let's see what other fucked kids I can get

by having other animals fuck me. Well, I guess he kind of does, because he gives birth... No, he doesn't give birth. He bones a frost giant and he gets Fenrir, snake, whatever, and hell. So, like, Loki, if a god fucks something that's not another god, you get something gross. That's just the lore of the land.

I don't know if... Okay, so look, we're asking if Odin's a bad father, so put yourself in Odin's position. I've got a kingdom, and he's protecting the frost giants, and some guy is like, I can do it in a month. No, not even, because that's too far removed from reality.

Your son wants to fuck a horse. Yes or no? Your son has produced fuck a horse Yes or no Your son has produced With something Some kind of horse child And mine was too far removed And the horse child is like Grandpa ride me

Is that good I Cause generally if you're like a father Or a granddad and you've got a small child And they like horses It happens especially with young girls And you're like On your shoulders give me a pony

But this is the reverse This is what the pony being like Hop on To be honest I think he's kind of being a good grandad Because like honestly I'd be uncomfortable with the whole situation To be honest, I think he's kind of being a good grandad by riding. Because, like, honestly, I'd be uncomfortable with the whole situation. But the fact that Odin can be like, look, I'll ride my grandson into battle.

There's no qualms about it. I don't know. I think that's all right. I'm kind of pro it. All right. Like, initially I was going in thinking he's not a good dad. But maybe he's a decent grandad. Like, he's spending good time with his grandson.

Was it his plan? Was he like, Loki, go get fucked by a horse? Or was Loki like, I've got a dad, and he comes back and he's like, let a horse fuck me. And Odin's like, that's not at all. I would have said don't do that if you'd explained your plan to me, Loki. I think they were like, we're fucked, Loki, help. We're blaming you for this,

even though it really wasn't Loki's fault. No, Loki is not to blame in this situation. But they blamed him for a bit, and they're like, either you fix it, or we're gonna kill you. Well, Loki's choice of how to fix it was on him. Yeah. Loki's choice wasn't a good one.

Like, that would not have been my choice. If they were like, Jackson, what are you gonna do? I'd be like, that would not have been my choice. If they were like, Jackson, what are you going to do? I'd be like, I'll just kill the big horse. Not, fuck it. Well, yeah, look, if I was... Okay, first of all, I feel like, no. The answer is no. No to any of this.

It's no good. Get a better plan. Don't let a horse... How does a horse build a wall? He wasn't really built. He was more dragging the stones up and the frost giant was like sick because I got your help I can now do it all that's fine then

that yawn snuck up on me probably because I'm just my brain's just trying to put me to sleep because I've heard the phrase horse puss too much today my brain's just gone into panic mode like no no, sleep your way out of this. Maybe when you wake up, no one will be talking about fucking

horses anymore. But here we are. Can't escape it. Never. Not ever. Not even once. I just feel like it's not Odin's fault. Well, I just feel like that Loki didn't need to fuck that horse. Making love to that horse was on Loki.

There's no one arguing otherwise. This episode has taken... I heard that people are like, oh, this is going to be a deep insight into Odin. No, I'm horse fucking. I look forward to hearing the Plumbing Boys discuss the Marvel... Oh! Horse fucking. Horse puss. Yeah. The episode where we go for the world record

of how many times we can say horse puss. I feel like the world record before today for the amount of times horse puss was said in a podcast was one. And here we are, victorious. Sitting in like nine. The Moncorgianists. Ah yes, Guinness Book of Records. Yeah, this is Joel Dutra from Plumbing the Death Star. Yeah.

That's right. You probably haven't heard of me, but got some bloody yep the horse bus record that's it we've come for it we've done it we've topped it we've always big game big talk and now here we are no because hang on it's funny to be like episode with the phrase horsepuss said the most times. Plumbing the Death Star is Odin a bad father. Individual record holders. Jackson Bailey, six times. Joel Dusha, five times.

Joel Sabat, a hundred times. Wow. It's coming. Get ready. Yeah, I feel like it's kind of like if you were like, I'm in deep with the mob, and your child is like, that's okay, and goes and doesn't necessarily have sex with a horse. Or sleeps with the Don's daughter. No, no, because it's more reckless than that. Like, it's like, oh, and they, whatever it is,

they go and off someone, you know what I mean? Some very big deal, and you're like, well, fuck, you shouldn't have done that, but you have solved the problem you have solved the problem yeah so like whatever we'll deal with the consequences i think ultimately it's on loki not odin odin's just fucking trying to deal with his crazy son like and also i feel like we need to talk about how weird it is that the gods are like i'd like to live here but i'm not building a wall. I could. I'm a god, but no, let's get someone to do it. This guy is only us and frost giants in existence. Gosh, I hope he's one of us.

Well, it's... Oh, shit. He was. He's one of the other sentient, like... It's weird, because, like, who is this man I've never heard of? Fingers crossed he's a guy that I probably would have heard of. Oh, he wasn't. He was a frost giant.

Who saw that coming? Shit. And it's funny that the frost giant takes it. Like, I mean, I guess, look, if you're a frost giant, you're eating shit constantly. So you're willing to accept any opportunity to get in good with the fucking Asgardians or whatever. Yeah.

Asgardians of the Galaxy. Anybody made that joke? No, world record. Guinness? Yeah, it's Joe Dusha again. He got another one for you. Best joke. If the best joke in the world is Asgardians of the Galaxy,

then that's not a great... Well, whatever. It's Guinness making the decision, I guess. Is that the beer? Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Because is? Yeah. Because it all started because people were in the pub making claims,

drinking Guinness, and then somehow that became the Guinness World Records. That's true, but hazily retold. I'm trying to think of other stories where Odin's a bad dad. Because at the moment... He's just a guy dealing with a weird son. Odin has made the best of bad situations. He's bad a guy dealing with a weird son. Odin has made the best of bad situations. He's bad in

the Marvel Universe. Don't have an Odin sleep. Take care of shit. The weird part about having the Odin sleep is like, he's like, I'm not gonna wake up. But then he just wakes up. It's like if you had like a granddad who was like, I'm dying. And like checks himself into the morgue. And then like a week later

he's like, I'm back. I wasn't dying, don't worry about it. I'm fine now. And also like he doesn't really deal well with Frost Giant Loki. It's funny that Loki within the Marvel Universe canon is a Frost Giant

because that makes all of these stories redundant. You know what I mean? Like that story where he has sex with a frost giant and produces mutant kids just wouldn't happen in the Marvel Universe. I always find it weird that like, look, because is Tom Hiddleston, like the appearance of Loki in the Marvel Universe, that can't be what he actually looks like. That must be like some kind of weird projection.

Yeah, I think it is. Surely. Yeah. Because he turns into a bit of a frost giant for a bit. When? When he just goes blue. Yeah. When his turns into a bit of a frost shine for a bit. It just goes blue. Yeah. When his dad's like, you're a frost shine or whatever. He's like, what do you mean? Oh, I'm blue, but I'd rather be pink. Yeah. But also, like...

Illusions, Michael. That was like, fucking hell, this episode. So many jokes. Get ready. Jokes per minute. 0.3 um yeah like because like hang on yeah but if loggy didn't know he was a frost giant yes how has he been like i look like this i don't know he knows what a frost giant looks like no but that's what i mean no oh hang on but if i was

raised by gorillas and looked like a gorilla And they're like, Jason, you're secretly a man And I'm like, I'd become a man for a bit But then return to looking like a gorilla Because he has illusion magic Yeah, but he doesn't know he's a frost giant Which means that As a baby

I know, as a baby, he goes pink I know it doesn't matter, it doesn't make sense It's just what happened. That's so silly. That's like. Did Odin do a curse on him or a blessing as it were? If he did, it's the kind of thing he's like, I'll make a blessing.

I'll make a magic spell on Loki. So then he looks like an Asgardian. But if he ever realizes he's a frost giant, he goes blue for a bit, but then he can control it. Those are the stipulations. But also if he did that, why is he like, fuck you, you're a frost giant? Because that for a bit but then he can control it those are the stipulations but also if he did that why is he like fuck you you're a frost giant because that seems a bit rich it is a bit rich odin is a bad father that's fucking i think norse mythology odin good father marvel universe odin bad father he's like god's just squabbling. Fucking there's aliens coming. You know what? This is the perfect time.

An old Naparoo. Oh, now I'm dying. Now we're going to check out. What's that? My one son, he's a trickster boy, and he's telling me my other son's a dickhead? Whoa. Send him to...

Oh, I'm getting real tired. Send him to the guard as a doctor or some shit, and I'm over there. Does he go to sleep basically straight after he sends Thor to Earth? No. When does he go to sleep in the movies? The second one. Oh, I thought he was now.

No. It's the end of the first. Does he? He's awake in the second one. Oh, he does too. Doesn't he get stabbed? Yeah. Because he's asleep like a dickhead.

There's no security in Asgard. He's like, God, I got so many enemies, but I'm so damn tired. How long has he been awake for, is my question. If he's in Odin sleep, does it mean he's awake for, like, centuries? He doesn't get anything, and he's like, fuck me. But then he's awake, and, like, if the Marvel Cinematic Universal takes place really close together, his Odin

sleep wasn't very long, so it's not like he's asleep for a century. He's asleep for, like... Doesn't he get woken up because he gets stabbed? Yeah, isn't Loki Odin now? But not, because he's not in the new one yeah i do what's going on as we see ragnarok we'll find out well yeah no i was gonna say is there any ties like that in the marvel cinematic universe where it's just like here's a plot thread we could follow but then they just totally ignore because loki being odin seems like like it could be a very good chance of that. I've just been like, never mind.

No, no. Again, we were recording this before Ragnarok is out, so maybe in Ragnarok Loki's like, I was, but now I help you Thor with your space prophecy. Because he's a prison in the trailer that we've seen. So we're guessing what's happened is hell. Is that, is hell? No, that's not hell.

That's death. Okay. No, wait, no, no, no. Heller. Heller. Is that? Because it looks like, I mean. Is that Loki's daughter?

Is that Loki's daughter? Loki's daughter in Norse mythology has rot legs. Yeah, no, half a face. Oh, the one I always read was that she's like a beautiful woman down to waist, rotten legs. Ah, so I always thought it was a beautiful woman on one half And the other half I guess it depends on where the split is Horizontal or vertical

I prefer horizontal because it's easier to hide your rot legs Wear pants Wear pants and shoes Don't wear a skirt Because the rot will waft out Waft rot Rot waft out, as it were. Waft rot. Rot waft. Yeah, not good.

No, also, like, I'm sick of Loki being bad, but then fine, but then bad. Make a decision. Yeah, like, I mean, I get it. You're the trickster fella, but you're in chains. It's a wild card. In the Ragnarok trailer, it's out, the one just after Comic-Con,

if you're listening to the future, the listening in the future. No one's listening right now. If you are, it's out. The one just after Comic-Con, if you're listening to the future. The listening in the future. No one's listening right now. If you are, please don't. How do I die? Tell me how I go. I like that we're assuming that I'm dead by the time this episode airs. I just meant if they're listening now, they're clearly psychic.

And if they're psychic, they know how I die. I just meant they're here. Oh, right. There and if they're psychic they know how I die oh right there's a window there that could be out there I'm sick of Loki being like it happens in Thor the Dark Lord a movie that hasn't come out yet from when we're recording the episode because this is 1996

great gag, made it before not a new one doesn't count towards the Guinness record yeah because it's all the dark god it's the same thing Loki's like

I'll help you out gotcha gotcha I'm Erden now and then look it's gonna be the same in Ragnarok because in the

Infinity War trailer which we haven't seen but it was spoken about at Comic-Con or whatever yeah Loki's in jail

and then not no Loki's fucking doing a bad thing. He's like, oh yeah, he's grabbing the Tesseract or something. So is this just part of Loki's thing where he's like, I'll help you. Haha, jokes on you. You got a horse step, the horse grandson now.

Haha, ride it. It's uncomfortable for you, Odin. Because it's a guy. Yeah, oh god. I'd be a bad father if Loki was my son, too, because I'd hit him. Even, like, talking about Marvel or, like, MCU Odin, you know, like, in the first Avengers movie, there's the Easter egg of the two crows.

That's Odin watching, but he doesn't do anything. That's Odin lying in his Odin sleep being like, look at my son fighting Captain America. That's great. Oh, the aliens came. Oh, well, I'm in bed. Oh, well. I'm going to sleep this one.

I'm going to sleep this one off. It's weird. Yes. It's an Odin. Neither Thor nor Loki, the two people that he leaves in charge of Asgard when he has a little nap-a-roo are appropriate rulers for Asgard. In fact...

Correct. In Thor 2, who rules Asgard? Or is he back in Thor 2? He's back in Thor 2. His nap didn't last that long. His Odin sleep was tiny. It was his itty-bitty Odin sleep. It was an Odin nap.

That was another great joke. Chalk that up. Guinness World Records. It was like an Odin sleep. It was an Odin nap. That was another great joke. Chalk that up. Guinness World Records. It was like an Odin kip. If anything. If. It was like a bloody Odin pulled over to the side of the road. Had a 15 minute Odin nap.

It was an Odin wipe out five. No, wait. Wrong TAC campaign. Google it. International things. Yeah. That's not wipe out five minutes of being awake. Or maybe I even thought that it was.

It's wipe off five to save lives. Or no, wipe off five or wipe out lives. Yeah. That's dumb. But then the other one is like, tired? Have a nap. I think it's almost verbatim that. Tired?

Oh, a 15-minute nap can save your life. There you go. So it was an Odin 15-minute power nap. I think it's almost verbatim that. Tired. A 15 minute nap can save your life. There you go. So it was an Odin 15 minute power nap. Yep. Hi, Guinness. Yeah, it's Joel again. Also, most informative episode. We've done it.

This is a record breaker. It's absolutely fucking gold. If I could print out a podcast and frame it, I'd pick this one. Can someone type up the script so I can do that? Thank you. Trying to think of other things that Odin has done that make him a bad dad. Well, I think he's just being unreasonable.

Doesn't he fuck everyone? No, that's Zeus. Zeus is a bad dad. Oh my God. Zeus is a player. I opened the book for a bit. Thoughts and opinions came out. I'm just shutting it.

Save that one for later. This episode should have been titled, Is Loki a bad son? Because, yes. Yes. Odin, fucking talk about MCU, Odin. He's like, this fucking frost giant, who I hate,

but I'll take their kid in because I'm a good bloke. But then he's like, I'm going to secretly hate this kid Actually is Floki a bad son He's like alright I found out who my real dad is Time to stab him in his stupid face Yeah that's true

You're my biological dad Yes stab What did that happen in our world Hey yeah I'm your biological dad I did a sperm bank Got him Maybe Loki is an asshole son. I think Loki's bad and Odin's great.

It's almost like the movies portray that. It's almost like Odin is a good guy and Loki is the antagonist of the first film. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I kind of get what you're saying. I hear it. What are the stories about Loki? There's a story about Loki where he's on the run

because he tricks his mate into... So he's got a blind mate. I think he blinded, but let's keep that in the DL. And he's like, they're doing an archery contest. No, darts. This is the death of Balder. Like, Loki, everyone's favorite boy. Everyone loved Balder. He was fucking sick. Yeah, everyone's like, Balder. Yeah. Like, Loki, everyone's favorite boy. Everyone loved Balder.

He was fucking sick. Yeah, everyone's like, Balder from Balder's Gate. Yeah. And then so Loki's like, hey, Balder, let me just move you so you can hit the dartboard probably. Oh, gotcha. Shifted him around. Balder, no, not Balder, whoever was playing darts, throws his dart, hits Balder in the back of the head. Loki's like, ha ha, that wasn't the dartboard, gotcha.

Balder dies. Everyone's like, Loki, that wasn't the dartboard. Gotcha. Balder dies. Everyone's like, Loki, you better get the fuck out of here. Hod was his name. Hod, that's right. Mistletoe. He gets him with mistletoe.

Fucking Loki. Then Loki has to- He's like, I'll point your hand in direction. It'll be good. Eat shit. Yeah. Then Loki gets- He goes and hides in a cave. Yeah.

He dresses up as a trout, by which I mean he transforms into a trout. And hides in a cave. Yeah. He dresses up as a trout, by which I mean he transforms into a trout and hides in the cave. Odin and Thor from Emily of Thor and some of his dickhead brothers are like trying to catch him. Are they fishing? They fish for Odin, for Loki with a big net. But Loki keeps on slipping through the net by becoming a smaller fish

or something. Crafty. Then I think they eventually catch him and maybe eat him. Yeah. And that's the end of Loki. Odin didn't feature in this story. I realise. Wait, is that how Loki dies?

They either eat him... So that's like the last Loki story. That's the Loki endgame. No, because Loki's gotta be in Ragnarok, like the Nordic... Armageddon. Not the third. Now, Odin's definitely in The Death of Baldur because he rides Little Slippy.

Oh. And he rides to the underworld to consult a dead CRS. If you can ride a horse to the underworld, why not just bring your dead mate back from dead? I think that's what Slippy's good at. He's good at, like, riding between the worlds. He slips into the... Well, he's half god, half horse.

That's true. He's real good. Surely the horse that Loki fucked wasn't just 100% horse. It could talk. Well, yeah, that's why I think it's fine to fuck it. No. No. The horse can give consent.

Yeah. Yeah, but still no. This comes back to the fucking argument we had live. Okay. At our Melbourne live show where we were talking about... A horse can give consent. Yeah. Yeah, but still no. This comes back to the fucking argument we had live, okay, at our Melbourne live show where we were talking about doctors. Yes. And I said that if a goose can talk, no, if you turn a man into a goose and that goose is like, let's have sex, it's fine. Good even.

It's the same situation where if a horse is basically alive Like if you went to Narnia And one of those beavers was like Fucking slam these cheeks I'm keen for it You can fuck that beaver And it's okay You're not wrong It's not rape but it doesn't make it okay

It makes it fine It makes it wrong on some kind of strange moral level That maybe you exist underneath. But me, boundless and limitless, I can slam the cheeks of whatever beaver I want. If that beaver is like, yeah, slam these cheeks, I'm like, all right. Yeah, I'll fuck that beaver.

You're not meant to be on this side, Joel Zammett. The beaver's giving consent. And if I'm giving consent, I'm not because I don't want to fuck that beaver. But if Jackson is like, I'm keen, I have no because I don't want to fuck that beaver. But if Jackson is like, I'm keen, I have no problem with Jack making sweet love at that beaver. At that beaver? Yeah, at that beaver.

That's a true message of today. I'm upset. I'm just like, and if that horse is like... The beaver anatomy. And if Loki's like, yeah, get that horse to give me a walkpuss, that's fine. There we go. It's back again. But that horse dick in your corpus, that's fine. There we go. It's back again. But that's a bit different because Loki was also a horse.

No, but he's a man. No, but he's a horse. So what? If this beaver is like, you can slam these beaver cheeks if you're only a beaver and then magically turn into a beaver. It's sick. Let's get our fuckeroonie on. And I'm like, fuck yeah.

And it's like, first, you got to be a beaver. That's cool. And then gives me a potion that turns me to beaver.'s fine that's more okay that's weird dude no one's there is known in mythology bt dubs because they're the best horse amongst gods and men and that's awesome also they they're never supposed to have sex they're just like loki had such dealings with the other horse and if that isn't the best euphemism for boning, I don't know what is. No, because beavers are made to fit inside beavers.

Horse dick goes into horse puss. Human dick does not go into horse puss. We make it work. Nope. A human man is not made to slam sweet beaver cheeks. We make it. It's all about providing pleasure for one another. Yeah, it's me again.

I've got you on speed dial. Yeah, most references to bestiality in one episode. We did it. No one is happy. Can you send us a medal? How many records do we need to break? Because I, my count, ten. We did it. I think it's safe to say that regardless of how

this ended, Odin doesn't seem like a bad father. No, I mean, like, at the end of the day, like, look. I mean, he seems to have raised Loki wrong. Well, yeah. Look, that's true. Or in the MCU, it seems like that he did something. He fought... Something happened.

Odin, yeah, look. There's... Odin wasn't great in that. It probably still isn't, to be honest But in the Mythology, I guess, it's not It's a grey area Worse Look, he rode his grandson But the grandson wanted to be Rod

So it's fine And I guess like if you were a grandpapa And your grandson was like, hey grandpapa even though i'm 12 i want to come work on your building site and you're like well i guess and i'll give you some like little jobs to like carry these bricks yeah and then dad's like no i don't know how i feel about you making my grandson work and you're like but like he wanted it like he said he asked and he's safe. I'm looking after him.

I'm looking off. I'm taking him under my wing. It's not like a building side, but traveling between the nine worlds. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Like if you take him to the, you're just like,

I've birthed quite a strong son. And your grandpa's like, your dad's like, can he help me build this shed? And you're like, well, he is strong. Yeah, fair. And the kid's like,

I'd love to build the shed with Papa. Yeah, that's fine. Also, I found out how Loki dies. He doesn't die. He's captured. They put him in a cave and they hang a snake above him. Yeah. Drips venom on him.

But his wife catches it in a bucket. But sometimes she has to go and get a new bucket because it fills with venom. And then Loki's like, ah, because it hurts and cause earthquakes. And that kills him? No, no, no. He doesn't. When Ragnarok happens, I think his head gets bitten off by the big wolf. Fennel.

Fennel. Fennel wolf, yeah? Fenry. Fenro. No, Fenro. Like the spice. Does Fenry actually kill Loki? I think so. Fenro kills someone. Bites off the head. Tyre. He bites the hand of Tyre. Yeah, he bites

someone's head off as well. Anyway, look. Odin's a good dad. Best dad. I don't know who. He bites the hand of Taya. Yeah, he bites someone's head off as well. Anyway, look, Odin's a good dad. Best dad. Good bloke. Great bloke. Fucked son. Bad son, awful son, worst son. Problematic guy.

Don't fuck a horse. Even if you are a horse, like just a flat out horse you're listening to this podcast. Fuck another horse. That's fine. If you are riding a horse right now, put the headphones on the horse. We have a message for said horse. Hello another horse. That's fine. If you are riding a horse right now, put the headphones on the horse. We have a message for said horse. Hello.

Hi. Hi. Horse. It's us. Plumbing the death star. If you want to get some of that sweet horse puss. Or cock. Or horse cock. That's a-okay. As long as there's just a few quick things we need to double check. One. Have you ever been a man?

If so, turn back into a man and don't fuck a horse. Okay. Now, horse, if you could please let the person riding you or near you know that this message is over and put it back onto their ears. Hand the headphones back. That'd be great. Thank you, horse. Hoof the headphones back. Thank you so much, horse.

That was a little horse message. If you heard that, you shouldn't have. Yeah, that was only for horses. Anyway, now we're back to the writer slash owner. Yeah. Don't fuck horses. I guess. And on that note, I've been Joel.

I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. Thank you for listening to this world record-breaking podcast. And Odin's a fine dad. And now Joel's habit will say horse puss 100 times. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio,

or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammet. If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there there's heaps and if you want to support us head to sanspantsplus.com

thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time goodnight for now but not forever kisses