Plumbing the Death Star - Is Superman a Disrespectful Boy?

Episode Date: July 22, 2018

In which our heroes ask the hard hitting question; Is Superman a Disrespectful Boy?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, my wedding's gonna be in spice! Hey everyone, quick update for our Plumbing the Death Star Get Posh UK tour. About half the shows are now sold out, or very close to, so if you don't want to miss out, make sure you head to sandspantsradio.com slash live for links on where to grab your tickets today. There's still a few spots left for our London Podcast Festival show, as well as back-to-back late-night shows at the Soho. So, once again, head to sanspantsradio.com slash live and grab your tickets today. Every show is a completely different topic, and remember to head

to our Twitter or Facebook for any and all updates. Just search for Sans Pants Radio. Also, if you have any coffee, breakfast, brunch, or just general food recommendations, please email them in, or reach out to me directly on Twitter. Good evening, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Flumming the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, Is Superman a disrespectful boy? I think he definitely 100% is. And here is my workings. Yeah, I like these workings because, like, the reason we're recording recording this episode because zamit yelled at me about it yes joel i was thinking of my favorite ever film in the world bvs as i am want to do on a daily occasion it's weird the dc managed to knock the

superhero genre out of the park in one film yep marvel garbage Garbage. Fucking, they've had, what, 18 billion films and not a good one. Marvel? DC? I go into a Marvel film, I know what I'm getting. That's fine. DC, I'm like, whoa, this could be a strange time for me. I cannot wait for Aquaman because that's a film no one should do.

And the fact that DC have it is just so exciting. Yes. So as I was thinking about BVS, I kept thinking about the phenomenal scene of when Superman is about to eat shit by Batman and being like, save

Martha. And everyone's like, why did you say that name? You know, it's a great piece of literature. And he realizes that's his mum. And I'm like, yeah, fair enough, piece of literature. And he realizes that's his mum. And I'm like, yeah, fair enough, whatever. You know, he wants to save his mum. But then I'm like, wait a second. If I'm in a situation under very duress where I might die,

knowing full well that my mother dearest, her life is in danger, what words are going to come out of my mouth? Am I going to be like, please save Valerie? No, because I respect my mum. Yeah. I love my mum. And I'm going to say, save my mum. And depending how I might be, save my mummy. Because I don't know in what situation I'm in.

Save mama! Jackson goes Italian. When I get sad, I'm like, cross my neck. I really like if the scene carries out exactly the same superman's like save my mom batman's like you've got a mom too take it down to its basic you were born and then superman's like not really i'm from an alien planet batman's like oh well i've got to save my human mother where i'm like kill me he's like's like, I'm gone. Crush my neck! I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Oh, coward!

Free me! Bring your neck around to your... Put it around your own neck and kill yourself that way. Curbstomp myself. Only gymnasts can. That's their one strength. It's true. Self-curbstomping.

I feel Calling your mother or your father by their first name I think is a very big sign of disrespect Because that's what a surly teen would do When they want to know that mum has pissed them off Yeah sure I'll eat my vegetables Martha Yeah

Or Because you've brought this up before My theory is that Ma and Pa Kent Were just cunts And you know, they're like You're adopted, don't you dare call me Mum I'm Martha

And I'm Jonathan, and that's it Don't call us Mum and Dad, that's not true Then they spit on their baby Yeah, I mean it's weird to spit on an infant But that's comics You've got to differentiate them somehow You've got to get rid of that 1.5 litres of spit you produce in your body somehow. And if that means spitting on an infant, so be it.

Is it because Superman is just so powerful he doesn't give a fuck? Like, imagine a surly teen, but with the powers of Superman. Like, he's just never going to get really taught a lesson. Yeah, like, you could chastise him, but really, what's going to happen? Can you spank Superman? No. Because Superman will just, he's got buns of literal steel. That's what it means by man of steel.

You're gonna hurt your hand. Clang! It's gonna be the feeling. It's assuming that Ma and Pa can't, um... Spank their teen son. Spank their teen son. I'll still spank him. I don't care what age you are Did you take the bin out?

No Well come over here and get across my neck Imagine Superman gets like Every villain loses respect for him Because they seem spanked By his staff Or because this is Superman How he understands what like

Punishment is He just grabs a leg clip, puts it over his knee, and starts spanking him. You've been a bad Lex Luthor. Metropolis startled tonight as Superman, our caped defender, takes Zod by the clothing, bends him over his knee, and spanks him in front of millions. Zod leaves chastised.

It's like spanking Brainiac. Spanks him in front of millions. Zod leaves chastised. Well. It's like spanking Brainiac. Some of it. You can't. Well, imagine some of it. Because sometimes Superman doesn't even fight humanhood. Superman saves humanity by spanking Comet away from Earth. Gotta teach that Comet a lesson.

Somebody's got to teach that Comet a lesson. It's got to be me. I hate the bill clinton superman um okay so that may be superman well even in man of steel so we see superman's disrespectful but like his parents aren't particularly respectful because jonathan has no respect for his son's feelings and decides to commit suicide via tornado to teach him. I'll give my son PTSD. I'll teach him a lesson. You can't save everyone! You could have saved me, but fuck you!

And then Ma follows it up with, humanity can eat a fucking dick. They sure can. Fuck them. Fuck them to death. Blow up this fucking planet i don't give a shit that's a direct quote from that movie i like that even in the afterlife or superman's hallucination in batman versus superman yeah

pa can't still he's not learned his lesson in heaven god's not like hey pa can't you just like that didn't he's like, yeah, no, I still believe the same thing. I'm gonna keep teaching Superman the same lesson forever. Yeah, I'll come to you as an angel. Or a mountain ghost. I love the mountain ghosts.

As a mountain ghost. My message remains the same. Sometimes you gotta kill all the cows. Yeah, sometimes. Look, you can't save everyone, so just save, you know, look after you and yours. I guess is the message of them. You can't save everyone, so save yourself, you know, the immortal being on the planet. Yeah, like, you don't need any help saving yourself, Superman, because you're fucking Superman.

Maybe Superman is respectful, because Jonathan Kent dealt with a problem with self-murder so then later in the film superman solves a problem with murder as well uh-huh i don't know how that's respectful but because he listened to his elders oh that's true respectful he wasn't respectful to earth though when he blew up the buildings yeah also another thing where he wasn't respectful was he was definitely not respectful of um his boss perry white yeah he was like i don't give a shit about the story you want to do i'm your boss i'm employing you i'm giving you money here's a task do it and so he doesn't and then perry white ends up printing nothing because perry white is a great business owner and knows how to run a newspaper

if i was perry white and an employee had of disrespected me like that rather than just printing a blank page and wasting space in my newspaper just imagine front page of the daily planet just like news news news and it's like i know sport today because fuck this one guy but kent didn't do his fucking job. I think it's crazy. And we spoke about this a little bit on, and this comes down to disrespect as well. But we spoke about when we were talking about what kind of a job is journalism for a Superman. Because Superman could be making more money. Oh, yes.

And he could be sending that back to Mark Kent. Who, as we see in Batman v Superman, has had to take up a new job to sustain himself. She's now working in a diner. Which is notoriously not great in terms of cash flow. If Superman was a good son... No working environment. Yeah. He would move back to...

In fact, it's a bad... Sorry to interrupt, but it's a bad working environment because we know this in Man of Steel because Superman sees someone sexually harass a young diner worker and then he ruins that man's employee by driving a giant log through his truck which presumably wasn't that guy's truck but his employee's truck. Jesus killed him. Superman did not really solve that problem. Way to solve that problem is to pick that guy up

fly him to the top of a tree and be like get down dickhead and then fly away. It's great to imagine just a forest full of guys on top of trees. What are you up here for? I was a bad bloke yeah me too have you figured out how to get down no no it's so high up i'm so scared of falling i've already eaten my hand what else to do right now where do you go sometimes i just gonna once i

gotta check my tree keep everyone fed terrifying tree prison um but yeah it's a bad working environment and superman as established by smallville is great at working on the farm there's like that scene where he just slams posts into the ground yeah out of teenage frustration he can do all the chores like lickety split but instead of moving home and looking after his mother he's like no journalism a job i don't even really care about but that's's what I'm going to say. He's so fast that he could live in Smallville and still do his supermanning in Metropolis. And also, not only is he bad at his job, disrespecting Perry Ripe and just the concept of journalism, because he could really go and investigate and find truth and justice and all that kind of jazz. Because he's got super hearing.

He's got x-ray vision. He can try and expose a lot of the problems that are happening in that world. But he doesn't. Superman could be a much better journalist than he is. He's a bad journalist. Which makes it even ruder that he's not moving home to look after his mother. And you know how easy it would be for him to write a sports report? Yeah, whatever.

Is he bored by it? Is Superman just an idiot, maybe? Well, if he was really respectful, he'd just rob banks. That's a claim that I'm really excited to hear backed up. Okay. So robbing banks is obviously traumatic, unless you're so fast that the team working don't actually know what's going on.

Banks will not miss that money. They're banks. Okay. Give it to my own Pa Kent. Easy. Easier at disguising, because he never actually has to be Clark Kent in that situation. He can just be Superman all the time.

Is that respect? I feel that is disrespecting banks. Authority. Authority. But respecting... His mother. Parentals. You know, Superman,

we spoke about how his disguise is terrible. Yeah. Imagine a world where Superman is roamed around in a gimp suit. Same guy, same morals. He's just like, this is, no one will find me. Tight leather.

Tight leather, zip for a mouth where he opens it up and he's like, zip, don't worry, citizens. Everyone's like where he opens it up and he's like, Zip! Don't worry, citizens! Everyone's like, What are you? And he's like, I'm just worried that someone might be able to trace my identity with my lips. So they must always be zipped up. Actually, I'm worried.

I don't know what that man is saying, but he saved this town. It's scary if he unzips the mouth and then just a freeze breath. Oh, yeah. Ohes breath No thank you The Gimp saves Metropolis once again Sexual defender of Metropolis The Gimp saves Metropolis Question mark Who is the Gimp? Maybe don't tell us

But we wish it'd just go away Metropolis is Brainiac tries, level Metropolis, but the gimp puts him over his knee and spanks him, traumatizing thousands. Metropolis. Metropolis, save, but not happy about this. Metropolis begrudgingly grateful for its over-sexualized defender. Metropolis, pretty sure they were happier with the crime

i just love zod being like oh my god jor-el yes what and a statement from batman what the fuck this is just i felt i was the one in leather and now i just feel like he's stealing my shtick i just feel like maybe i should get the gimp suit maybe that's the best way to solve crime no respect for batman either yeah because in batman v superman he versus batman talk to him yeah absolutely you're immortal yeah i mean except for kryptonite unlucky that's the thing it's just like as soon as superman is like there he's like hey we need to talk and then batman like biffs him a bit rather than be like okay you've got clearly got some aggression. You need to work out. He's like, no, I'm going to hover in a very aggressive stance.

Yeah. To start to blast away with his eye beams. It's just like, you have no idea how to do any kind of conflict resolution except for blasting. I don't remember that film. Does Superman like blast Batman with his laser vision? Yeah, at one point. He shoots all the things that are shooting him and then he he, like, flies towards him in a very threatening manner.

Yeah, well, has Superman just not been taught, like, conflict resolution? 100% definitely not. Well, certainly not by his dad. I'm trying to think of the... Well, no, he starts like, hey, you in a bit of a trouble, a bit of a tight spot, kill yourself. You know, you're actually a goodie. Okay, so, say you're in debt,

and say that you have taken out a very big life insurance claim and suddenly you see just a surprise tornado. You take that opportunity by both hands and run headfirst into it. You know, I think I can reconcile. So in the comics and in Smallville, Park Kent dies from a tumor. Heart attack, usually. Okay, but sometimes a tumor. A tumor's a weird one because Superman can't from a tumor heart attack usually but sometimes a tumor what if

in Man of Steel he still has a tumor and it's pressing on his brain and that's what makes him make the decision to get in the tornado I like the idea that in the DC films always course correct they somehow make Justice League 2

and it just opens with an autopsy and they're like oh he actually died of a heart attack before the tornado caused by this tumor and then they turn to the camera and they're like there was nothing Superman could have done to stop that situation and the reason why he kept giving bad advice

was because of this terrible tumor it was a medical condition just makes that film make a lot more sense if you assume he's got a brain tumor. I mean, that makes... Yeah, because if it's pressing against his sort of like... Frontal lobe? Frontal lobe.

All of his lobes. It's like, if his brain was one big old tumor. If you've got a tumor but on your scalp and it's pushing down. It's rare. Like a hand pressing a button is kind of what it looks like this is like hey where what is your moral compass live in your brain because that one i feel is now all too

pushed down well it just makes sense he's like my son can't save me now yes we can that's so sad got by a tornado goodbye i think i found his head like his body body embedded in the ground far away, like a spiel? I think absolutely they did. It's just a scene they didn't show in the movie, that's good to know. So I guess when it comes down to not being able to show respect, well, we've got to ask ourselves, did Mara or Pa Kent do anything that deserved their son's respect? Martha Kent basically told Clark to blow up the earth that she was living on,

and that's pretty respectful. She was happy to make a sacrifice to wipe out the scourge of humanity. To make a point. Yeah, but it's so weird if Superman doesn't respect his parents because he's still like- Clark. Clark, sorry. You don't owe them a goddamn fucking goddamn cunt of a thing. Direct quote.

They're all fucking scum and deserve to die. Blow up this fucking planet. Blow us all up. Throw us into the sun. Death metal forever. Hail Satan. He's not respectful, even outside of Man of Steel and Batman v Superman.

He's not very respectful to like the Justice League in like the comics and stuff as well. Like he put himself at the head of the Justice League. Which comics and stuff as well. He put himself at the head of the Justice League. Which makes sense. But does it? Just because he's a powerhouse, just because he's the most powerful, that'd be like the Avengers being like, Hulk, you're big, you're in the charge!

Or even be like, Thor, you're good, you're in charge! That he has the best moral compass to run the Justice League. As a reader, though, taking yourself in a situation Superman does, he's the easiest to corrupt, though like taking yourself in a situation superman does he's the easiest to corrupt yeah exactly also again you need someone sometimes to make that tough decision superman is a farm boy from kansas yeah imagine if superman didn't have his powers yeah he was like i'm just incorruptible do you think they'd be like please superman take over

this giant space station of hundreds of superheroes yeah it's like, okay, Superman, we've got this giant problem. We've got all these people over here. They need to be fed. But the only people that are willing to help are maybe some, you know, dodgy arms dealers. What should we do?

Superman would be like, well, we can't do that because that's just not good for my conveyor. Helping out those arms dealers goes against the Christian faith. That's Superman. Do you want that guy in charge of your superhero space station where's batman a lot of people like uh okay so we gotta make a

really bad deal and but we've make this deal there and those kids get fed so we're gonna make that deal maybe the reason it's superman though is because anyone else in the trinity is kind of like i think if it's batman yeah he's like i don't care. This is the world, not Gotham. And he just goes back to Gotham. And they're like, god damn it, the boss is like, kill him. Whatever, they've been a problem, why don't we just kill him? Why don't we just kill them in glorious combat? I guess

Wonder Woman, yeah, sick. I guess maybe Wonder Woman's great for that, because then crime is stopped. That's true. What if all crimes? In a way. Legalize capital punishment for everyone. All crimes. As long as you can win fucking Coliseum rules. If you can win in glorious combat, then you're allowed to go free.

Commit a crime, any crime, put on a Coliseum. Do you reckon, because we always talk about how Superman could probably just clean up the streets of Gotham very easily. What if he took his patent and spanking punishment to the streets of Gotham? Would that make a lick of difference? If Joker's there getting spanked by old mate Supes, do you reckon he's going to turn away his life of crime? No. I think he's just going to start laughing.

I would. It's pretty funny. Also, let's not forget that Batman's villains are just guys. That's Superman's aunt connects with joker's pasty white ass and carries on through to his head cleaning him up like a knife through butter batman's like oh my god spreading pate on toast looks like the joker's not a problem for you anymore batman i'll see see you around. It's weird that he says, woo, when he flies off. Does he not? Someone re-dub Man of Steel.

With Superman saying, woo, every time he goes for a fly. What are the elements of his life that are disrespectful to his parents? Disrespectful of his job. To his job. School. Well, I was going to say, there's one obvious thing that we should probably focus on. His relationship with Lois? Yes. Is he a disrespectful partner?

Yes, he is. Absolutely. He's a creep. He is a creep! He also does not respect her bathroom. Simply climbs in fully clothed with water going everywhere. Is he cleaning that up? I bet he's not. I doubt it. I don't think Superman does chores. I think Superman's the kind of guy where he's like, I can do it so quickly, I'm just going to procrastinate.

Yeah. He's like, I'll do it later. I can do it in a second, so I'll do it later. And then, well, it's the moment. Hey, if you were dating someone, either of you, that was like, hey, I've just got your heartbeat on a monitor here. Just, I just want to keep an eye on your heartbeat all the time. That's, yeah, okay.

Does he use it to track me? Like if Superman- Oh, hang on a second. There is evidence that he always knows where she is at any given time. Yeah, okay. Does he use it to track me? Like if Superman- Oh, hang on a second. There is evidence that he always knows where she is at any given time.

Yeah, that's a thing. Because Lex Luthor pushes her off and he's straight away there, proving Lex's point. Do I know that Clark is Superman?

It also happens at the start of that video. Exactly, it also happens at the start where he paces a terrorist. So hang on, hang on,

hang on. Let me understand the relationship here. Kill them all or kill no one Me and Clark are in love Kill every criminal You're together, you're in love, yes

And I know that Clark is Superman And I know Superman, Superman so far Has literally only fought Zod, yeah? Yes If it's Superman, a little bit down the track Where I've seen him fight Brainiac And I've seen him fight Zod And I've seen him fight Lex And shit's hit the fan quite a few times.

Whatever. I know I'm going to get dragged into that, and I love Superman, so I'll deal. You know what I mean? I would like him there. Actually, you know what? No, I'm into it. Simply because the amount of times I nearly get hit by a car in my every day that it would honestly be nice to kind of have a guardian angel

to pick me up it makes a weird power balance in the relationship it does make a huge power balance it's just like I am no longer

an equal here I might abuse it and start jumping off buildings catch me Clark he'd be like please don't say my name

no Clark everybody this man right here he's the man I love and his name is Clark Kent I love Clark Kent I, Jackson Bailey, am dating Superman Kent Clark Kent

Jackson, are you drunk? No Surprisingly not Can I never, girl? Can you smell my breath, Superman? Yes, I can No, you're a liar Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying breath, Superman? Yes, I can. No, you're a liar.

Who are you going to believe, me or your lying nose, Superman? Now make out with me while we fall. My aftershave, my colon. Stop wriggling, Jackson. No, I want to go. I will drop, you will die. No, it's too hot. I'm too wriggly.

Imagine I wriggle out of my jumper and fall. Superman's like, fuck! Catches me. I start wriggling out of my t-shirt. No, no. Go away, Superman. I don't want to. It's too hot. Taking off my pants, but only with my legs.

Superman, undo my belt. Pull me to bed, Superman. Fuck it. Superman, this is so silly. Hey! Superman! Superman! Superman!

I want burgers. Superman! The Daily Plot. You work there. Superman, this is so silly. Hey! Superman! Superman! Superman! I want burgers. The Daily Plot. You work there. Hey, everyone! It's Clark! He's coming to work late! Superman, Superman, Superman. I need a sausage roll.

I'm drunk. You gotta drive me up to 7-Eleven. I gotta get a sausage roll. You just said you weren't drunk. No! Shut up! I only had 18 drinks. Superman, I can manage my

liqueur. My liqueur. And I vomit on Superman's front and he drops me in the cell. He's vomiting on that big ol' S. I'm sorry, I vomited on your hope. I know it means hope in your language. But it means

a beautiful S. I just like start wiping it with your bare hand. I got this. I got this Superman. Superman, can you leave my hand clean? I got some vomit on it. Let me just try to put my hand in his mouth. Freeze it off. I'm hot.

Breathe on me. Breathe on me. Superman, I'm so hot. Fuck. Fuck, it'm so hot. Fuck. Fuck, so hot, Superman. Superman just dropping me off

in the top of a building with no shirt on, one shoe, and my pants half off. Being like, we gotta talk when I get up. Vomit down your beard. Superman,

call my back. But I love you. I love you. Superman, flying doesn't seem that hot. I'm doing it again. I'm a troublemaker. Best thing about Superman is I know he's got such a good moral compass.

He'll never let me fall. Never in a million years. He might wrap a steel beam around me. But when it comes, because I'm like, all right, fair enough, you're dating or whatever. As creepy as that is, I guess he's doing it out of his best interest. However, he's exes. He's like Lana Lang or whatever. That's true.

Is he keeping tabs on them? Because I feel like he is. You don't keep tabs on your exes? No. Oh, God. If I knew that I could save the people I care about in a heart bait, but I'd need to know where they... You know what I mean? It's like always having find your friends on. Yeah. Everyone sign up to this. Save the people I care about in a heartbite. But I'd need to know where they... You know what I mean? Like, imagine...

It's like always having find your friends on. Yeah. Everyone sign up to this. I need to know where you are at all times. It's weird because that's like the opposite of the lesson Park Kent taught him, right? Yeah. Like, Park Kent was like, sometimes people gotta die. But Superman's like, nobody can die.

I guess people I know aren't allowed to die. Only Lois Lane cannot die. Although, if Superman is keeping tabs on everyone else, actually, that makes a lot of sense, because it's like, Dad just died. Like, out of nowhere. I gotta look after the people I know. I'm surprised they didn't become, like, obsessed with tornado patterns. Yeah.

Tornadoes can take someone away from you like that. You've just gotta be so quick. He's just there in, like, Tornado Alley being like, alright, where you bastards going? He's, like, sucking them all in. Ah, one more save. Superman Metropolis destroyed because Superman was too busy sucking in Nados.

I'm really worried about Superman's new problem. He seems to be addicted to sucking Nados. Every time he sees this, he's huffing a clone. Yeah, I'm back. What are you doing? Just Nado huffing a clone. Yeah, I'm back. What are you doing? Just NATO huffing, man. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good to go.

I'm going to go down to Australia. I heard they've got some tsunamis. Yeah, I'm just going to get in. Is he addicted? Did our version of Superman become addicted to NATOs? I can save them all. I just need to huff every one. Huff every NATO.

Got to drink all the wind. Hi, I'm Superman, and NATO. Gotta drink all the wind. Hi, I'm Superman and I'm gonna drink the wind. Disrespectful to the planet. Well, yeah, he's killed Earth. Yeah, he kind of is disrespectful to the planet. He's disrespectful to the people of Metropolis. Yeah, absolutely. Because again, when there's that big giant machine going,

and it's like, do I try and stop the big one that is in the city centre, that's like fucking up basically workplaces and people, you can kind of just see people going up and then down or the uninhabited other end yeah yeah where there's maybe a dolphin i don't know yeah like i don't know why that's the one he goes for and i assume he's like oh because if i destroy the one down there i'm gonna be less likely to hurt a person but actually like the death and then he goes back and fights Zod there anyway and destroys Metropolis so it's like he's got no

respect for anything around him like his surroundings he's a bit of a like it's fucked up that he just goes back to work like he did that yeah he is responsible but he feels no guilt whatsoever he's like because you assume he's gonna be reporting on that yeah he's gonna put pain Superman in such a favorable light.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Thank God Superman was there. And again, he is so disrespectful to journalism as a kind of concept because he can't be unbiased. Yeah, absolutely. He's 100% biased there. Yeah. He's not just being like, you know.

He's not impartial at all. No. Yeah. He's not like, oh, there might have been another solution, maybe with Zod if we had, uh, maybe tell, hey, chuff off to Mars or some shit. But does he get to write that report? Because isn't he a sports writer? Yes. I like to think he just sneaks

it into his column. Anyway, well, I have you. He's respectful to, like, the people of Krypton, like, his heritage, because he's like, in you, and you have the access to all these, like, Kryptonian embryos, and, oh, in the bin they go, I guess. You know, it's... Well, that's...

I guess that's fine. Oh, look at all this heritage, and, like... Chuck it out. Oh, you're, uh... Ah, there it goes! You know who else he's disrespectful to? The sports teams he's meant to be reporting on.

You're right! Imagine you just won the big basketball game, and you're like, I can't wait to be in the... I can't believe we won the big one. The big basketball game. The biggest game there is. I can't wait to see what the I can't believe we won the big one. The big basketball game. The biggest game there is. I can't wait to see what the Daily Planet write about us and our big

win in the big game. Oh, goddammit. In the big game of b-ball. Yeah, I'm gonna quickly where's the front page? Alright, let's move that to like, oh, what's happening in the politics? That's very interesting, but let's move to the sports section. Here it is. I'm gonna show mum. Oh, it's gonna be so good. It's blank. Oh, it's blank. It's weird they

printed a big blank square and put it on the fridge. Yeah, that's strange. This is where my weirdness was supposed to go. He's saying, I'm going to show this to mum because that person has respect for his parents and mother. And the love of the game. You can't be a champion

if you don't respect the game. Absolutely. The real hero of Metropolis is in fact It's sports teams. That basketball team. Absolutely. The real hero of Metropolis is, in fact... It's sports teams. That basketball team. Absolutely. Metropolis champs. I was going to say the Metropolis Oats, so you did a much better job.

Because I don't think... If Clark Kent, old soups, if he was playing basketball, I don't think he'd have any respect for the game. No, not at all. He would be cheating. He would be using his powers to score fucking three-pointers and free throws

and all that kind of shit. All the basketball terms. All those basketball terms that I know. Yeah. Dribble. Yes. Yes.

Ball. Yes. Dunking. Crowd. Dunking. Dunking, yes. Famous dunking dunking dunking. Scotty Pippen.

I thought you were going to say Scotty Too Hotty. Russell Westbrook. Deeper Cuts, I think that's right. Larry Bird. Larry Dave. Damn it! I thought we were just doing Larrys. I love that game that we have.

There's something about Larry. Leisure suit! Yes! Because you know what? We respect Larry. Exactly. Superman would not. Superman respects no man, no planet, no lifestyle. And worst of all, no game. Exactly. He doesn't respect the thrill of wind drugs either.

He just took them all for himself. Exactly. Never let another superhero have a Nado. Do you think he's going to suck Red Tornado up? Sure is. Look out, Red Nato. Superman's coming. See if you're a living nato, man. His pupils just sort of like spitting, dilating.

Oh, jeez, what's up with that? Superman's on wind drugs. It just feels like a Silver Age comic book cover where superman's getting real fat sucking in nato's and fucking what's his mate's name jimmy olsen's like you gotta stop sucking nato's superman zod's trying to destroy the city and like the justice league and they're like gotta punch him in his belly and get the nato's out but you know superman's like that was my plan all along. I had to suck the Nados in for justice.

And then he gets someone to punch him in the belly and then he spits those Nados on Darkseid. Yeah, and Darkseid flies off into space and into the sun. See, Jimmy Olsen, you were fucking stupid. Stupid this whole fucking time. God, you're such a stupid fucking kid. Once again, disrespectful.

Disrespectful to old mate Jim Jim. Superman's super disrespectful to Jimmy Olsen. You know the amount of times he's been like, eat this ape drug, or like, holy shit, Jimmy Olsen, touch this weird crystal. What's that, you're a clown now? Fucking cope, Jim. Jimmy Olsen, I'm your stepdad and I hate you,

which I think is a comic. It is. The conclusion of which I don't remember. It's something about respect, I'm your stepdad and I hate you Which I think is a comic The conclusion of which I don't remember Something about respect I think Which is a bit rich coming from Superman And the biggest disrespect of all Is he doesn't even care that Jimmy Olsen got shot in the head And if we go back to Lois Lane

Even in the comics Where she doesn't know that he is Superman and Clark Kent That's extremely disrespectful To that relationship because you are living a double life That your loved one doesn't know about. Yeah, it's fucked up. Like he's...

Rude is what that is. It's super rude. Imagine if your partner had like for 12 hours a day was somebody else doing other things. Absolutely. How was your day at work, sweetie?

When he just spanked a comet like to save humanity. He's like, it was fun. I just did some... Why is your hand so red? Just wrote a sports article. I think they're going to publish it, but Perry White didn't seem pleased,

so maybe they won't publish it. Maybe he'll just publish his famous white square. And then you're like, no, I guess he had a stretch at work, sweetie. I'm sweaty. I'm going to bed. But then he never goes to bed. He goes off doing God knows what. Emma's a disrespectful husband.

It's funny. Shut up, Lois. I'm shitting. He's been there for several hours. Superman, when he needs to shit, like, where does he take off his outfit? Does it unzip at the back? It's a onesie, yeah? He's not sure there's a butt flap.

Unless the underwear is actually underwear and there's nothing underneath it. So Superman's outfit is actually tights? Or is it like an astronaut thing where maybe there's just like a plug? No, no, no, no. It's tights where the crotch entirely cut out and then he's just got underwear over the top. He's got garters basically going on,

connecting the tights to the underwear and then he's got like a weird mesh or like a skin tight shirt on. He just tucks into the underwear. Yeah. It connects to the guard. He just pisses like you and me by flopping his cock out. You know who Superman's the most disrespectful to? The raider. And the viewer.

I'd better say himself. Oh, and I guess himself. He respects himself more. Yeah. He thinks he is the guardian of all. Just cause he has the power to save the entire world all the time. Yeah. He thinks he's the guardian of all. Just cause he has the power to save the entire world all the time, he thinks he's better than me, Joel Dusha. He's disrespectful to me. Yeah, absolutely.

He is. Let me save the world for once. Yeah. He's disrespectful to humanity by being like, oh, I'll take care of your problems. Joel Dusha. We had it. Exactly. And if there is a 1% chance that he is disrespectful to Joel Dusha, we have to take that as an absolute certainty. 100%.

Hi, I'm Joel Dusha, and I want to kill all the criminals. It doesn't sound so nice coming from a regular guy, does it? That's the difference between us and him. He does it, we're like, okay, we do it. They're like, you should be in jail. See that guy that did a crime? I'm going to kill him. He does it, we're like okay, we do it. They're like, you should be in jail. See that guy that did a crime? I'm going to kill him. Hooray for you, Superman. Jail

for you, Joel Dush. Exactly. Threatening a man to jail. Disrespectful. That's just the kind of fuck double standards Superman is for them. Exactly, that's another problem. It's disrespectful to our whole society because you have one set of rules for us and another set of rules for him. Double standards is the biggest disrespect of all.

And I've been Joel Doucher and this has been Plumbing the Death Star. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jack. And I've also been Joel. Respect your mom. Respect your dad. Respect the planet. Respect your boss.

Respect your job. But don't respect no Superman. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio, or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit.

If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there there's heaps and if you want to support us head to sanspantsplus.com uh thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time good night for now but not forever kisses