Plumbing the Death Star - Is the Avatar Program the Ideal Use for an Avatar?

Episode Date: December 11, 2022

This week on Plumbatar, the boys ask the burning question we've all been dying to know: Is the Avatar Program the ideal use for an Avatar? Tune in for a wild and unhinged episode of Plumbing as the boys lose their minds and go off on many terrible tangents. They'll discuss how they could buy Buckingham Palace for the cost of two Avatars, the sexiness of the Na'vi, and whether James Cameron was just trying to give us all a nipple boner. It's a wild ride, so buckle up and join the fun on Plumbatar.This the second episode of Plumbatar, a Plumbing the Death Star miniseries to celebrate the release of Avatar: Way of Water. What better way to spend December than with ya boys as we all get collectively depressed that we can't be on the magical world of Pandora and being wet Na'vi. We See You.Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 2 of Plummetar. I see you. I see you. I see you. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson.

And I'm also Joel. And today on Plummetar we are asking the important questions like, is the Avatar program the ideal use for an Avatar? So obviously within Avatar, they've got the Avatar technology. Do you think we're going to win the record for the most times Avatar has been said on a podcast? Well, I think we're going to break the record of the most times Avatar has been thought about. Do you think this book of records do think about ones? Sure.

Surely. There's no rule in the rule book that says you can't have an award for thinking about it. Thoughts count. Thoughts count. Thoughts count. Thoughts are a thing. So after maybe last week's bit of brain melt, looking into the reason. I like to refer to it as the divergence. Yes. So looking into the avatars and the reason why RDA made them initially,

it was for them to be like, well, Pandora is hard to breathe on for me. I'm a human. I die in a minute. So if we made it an avatar that had the Pandorian or the Na'vi physiological aspects. The environment suits a Na'vi and not a guy. What if we made our guys Na'vi?

Into Na'vi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they can breathe the air and also eat the food. Their original use was to become miners. So they could just dig a big hole, dig a big hole, put all the fucking on a team.

You need a fucking, the fattest sack you've ever seen. That fat sack back to mama earth. And then turn those fat sacks into fat stacks of cash. And fat sacks to fat stacks. Fat sacks to fat stacks, baby. Damn right. That's just good business. Fat stacks to fat stacks. Fat stacks to fat stacks, baby. Damn right. That's just good business. That is just good business.

And the avatar, each avatar costs a cool, we were all very low. I was off by quite a lot last episode. It's a five billy per avatar. Okay. Cheeky five billow. Nice, nice, nice. What's worth $1 billion in human currently? What?

Do you know what I mean? Probably to buy some movies cost a billion. A decent, some kind of. Movies cost less than a billion. More like a house, but I'm like, maybe a street. Yeah, yeah. A house for a billion dollars. A really good house.

What's the most expensive house in the whole damn world? Surely there's got to be a street where each house is worth several mil. Buying all adds up to a billy. Okay.

This is handy. An avatar? Yeah. Five billion. Buying Buckingham Palace. Yeah. Six billy. Is Buckingham Palace for sale?

Surely. Guess. The owner's dead. Anyone can take it. I refuse to acknowledge King Charles unless he's died since we're recording, in which case that was a reference to that. I don't know if you remember. It seems like we're popping through

royals pretty quickly. But one of them was called Charles. Okay. Six Billy, but that's six Billy to make an avatar. Presumably we have Five billy to make an avatar Six billy to buy The queen's old shack

Do you reckon the Well I guess King now If we were like Hey king Here's an avatar Give us your house Oh yeah

That's a good trade Are you telling me King Charles the third Doesn't want to be In an avatar So fucking bad Yeah He's fucking frothing

To be in an avatar He'd give me The entire United Kingdom For that opportunity, I think. I was going to say, like, look, Buckingham Palace for an Avatar, we just made a deal. Yeah. We're like, we are now one billy up. Because you've got to think about it, King Charles, he's a decrepit scarecrow. Yeah, with sausage fingers.

With horrible sausage fingers. And a phone record that says he wants to be his wife's tampon. Yeah! Good stuff. But if he's in it now. Now he can be his wife's avatar's tampon. Hell yeah. You can fuck your wife as an avatar, Charles.

Also, I think there was a pegging thing with you as well. That was his son, I believe. William! William I understand this but could you perhaps make the avatar more spherical shaped long-ish little maybe little

absorbent maybe with a bit of a string on the end and if you could give it to my wife you could just make him a tampon

that he could go into if you want yeah yeah yeah that I would like that yes yes if you could do that you could have the country. I don't care.

I think you could trick him like that, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, because, I mean, that's the thing. I know you killed Diana, give me your house might work too. Okay. This is blackmail. He admitted it. But yeah, the thing is, obviously it's five billion to make an avatar.

I'm just looking at it in terms of unobtainium, and it's like 20 million per kilo. Well, yeah. You're making enough. There's a lot of unobtainium. Well, I guess it depends on how much unobtainium. How much was sitting on that guy's desk, do you reckon? Oh, good question. A couple mil.

Yeah, a couple mil. Yeah. How dense is it as well? Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if it's mil. Yeah, a couple mil. Yeah. That would probably be like- How dense is it as well? Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if it's heavy- Well, it was floating. Yes, Jackson, it was floating.

Ain't I a stinker? No, you're a loathed moron. But here's the thing. If it's five billion to make an avatar, avatars are big, right? How many rats could you make for $5 billion to put people in? I don't think that the size...

This happened last time, too. They're grown. It's not the size that probably is expensive. Complexity? I'll give you that. Avatar's pretty complex. Rat? Not so complex. Well... Go even less complex. Jellyfish. I was pretty complex, right? Not so complex. Well, go even less complex jellyfish. I was actually thinking crab.

Explore the ocean floor. Or blobfish, maybe? Oh, yeah. Because, yeah, it is this, I guess, the money is going into all the- The mind link technology, not the avatar. Yeah. Which is actually what we said before. Off air, I think, though, so no one can double-check that.

So I guess the size of the Avatar isn't necessarily going to make it. Then why not make him huge? Because you need the genetic... Jackson. No, you could. You could make him gargantuan. Not gargantuan. You could make him as big as possibly the biggest living organic creature you could find.

Narvi was, yeah. I was thinking, you know what? I take back my Jackson only because I was thinking they still need to blend in. But if they don't need to blend in, you just want to make them dig as big as possible. Sure. Make them 15 foot. Yeah. Like, in fact, if you were making avatars to be like, we need them to survive out here, you just needed the lungs, right?

Yeah, yeah. You just need the lungs of a Na'vi. No, but it's the lungs of the Na'vi, but also like- The digestive system. It's everything of the Na'vi. Yeah, but I could be like, well, instead of making a Na'vi, why don't we make, say, I don't know, a giant robot mech thing with big shovels for hands-

With a Na'vi brain. With big shovels for hands. With an RV brain. Yeah. Well, I mean, you could just make a big robot that just has oxygen pumped into it. Yeah. That was expensive, apparently. Somehow not as expensive. More than five billion. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, yeah, that's what they were using them to mine. But surely if they were like, well, why do we need the Navi shape and body and everything to dig? Surely we could. Why didn't they get one of, say, I don't know, they capture. One of those hammerhead rhinos or whatever. Hammerhead rhino dog things. Capture one of them, put my face on it.

Let me dig with that. How are you going to dig with that? It's got like paws. With my big hammerhead. Slam the ground. Make them sharp like a shovel. That's not a good idea. Not the most delicate mining strategy.

Oh, yeah. We have one of those as your big sort of bulldozer. And then you get someone like more like the cat fucker. You want him to be just like, you know, little tiny little shovels on his little claws. We probably need thumbs. And give him a thumb. Joel Zammett. on his little claws. He probably needs thumbs. And give him a thumb! Joel Zammett, you have two cats.

You've seen them in their kitty litter. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got a stupid cat brain! I still think a physical humanoid body is going to be better for mining than slamming a rhino. A rhinoceros now, even controlled by me, could not run a diamond mine. Yeah, okay, but what if I make a rhino. A rhinoceros now, even controlled by me, could not run a diamond mine. Yeah, okay, but what if I make the rhino, but then also make it walk

upright? Well, then we could make whatever we want. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what I was going to ask that. How much control do they have over the human genome? I'm guessing they have heaps. Yeah. Well, no. Or it's not that much, which is why they've just gone flat. Yeah what it's kind of

why it's just like it's just like a flat navi human mix like because there's no other yeah because yeah like if you're able to add a bit of spice in surely you'd be like yeah also surely there would be soldier nav like yeah if they had the ability to or not even navis they would just be there would be a lot more freaks aboard if they had that level of control over the human genome. So theoretically, all they can do is combine two organic things together. And Navi, I think, is pretty impressive, because that's an alien

race light years away from Earth. So Earth things have got to be pretty easy comparatively. If you think about it. Yes, I agree. I was saying this last time,'m saying it now I agree with you Because they have grown up Like evolutionarily

Because the trick is baby We're all dogs basically Yeah We're all the same fucking thing It's all the same basic layout It's all for a living mammal We're all made from carbon Yeah yeah

No but I mean Human beings And like every mammal Every animal It's the same basic Basic blueprint Yeah Just changed here and there yeah we diverge

from that one fucking fish or whatever yeah yeah yeah centuries ago anything living on pandora we share no we share nothing whoa not necessarily i share a bunch of stuff what do you mean hang on what do you mean not necessarily well as in by chance in the same way that like they like a meteor a meteor hit pandora and a meteor hit Earth, and that's what happened? Yeah, as in that could happen. Because we also know that, and this is going to be fucked up, but it's said, not in the movie, but that Avatar are mammals. Where did they say that? We were talking about it before the movie.

It was something you read. Are they mammals? I think they just were like, they aren't necessarily. Because if they said mammals. If they said mammals, that's a pretty big deal. Yeah. Yeah. It's just because they have titties. Yes.

But it was because, like, I think James Cameron was like, I want to make them sexy and. Yeah, yeah. And he did a great job. He did a great, great job. I was horned up for the avatars this time watching them around. I must admit. But yeah, but still, that's even bigger news if they advertise on us. So despite understanding that the larvae are not placental mammals,

James Cameron insisted from the start that the interior should have breasts so as to look hot from a human's point of view. So even though they have breasts, they are actually not placental mammals. Awesome divergent evolution occurring there. It's just a thing that also happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're not mammals. Pure coincidence.

So they're not mammals, and yet we can combine with them. That must have been way harder than combining us with, say, a chimpanzee or whatever. 100%. In fact, combining a human being with a chimpanzee is probably like nobody's even thinking about it back on Earth. And we share so much DNA with a chimpanzee that it's like, who cares? Unless the chimpanzees are extinct. Well, yeah, that's a good point. Actually, yeah.

Time to think of it. They do mention, read Dr. Grace's mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big tree. And have a think. And go through their memories. And you'll realize we've got no green left. Oh, yeah.

So I think we fucked up Earth a bit. Are there any animals left on earth I mean we can't be the only ones I'd better be like well surely not because we've got to eat but then I'm like

well I guess if we're growing shit in like a lab yeah yeah yeah I mean now currently we can get like lab grown meat yeah yeah so I'm guessing you get that

produced on like a large enough scale or you could wipe out anything oh no the apes that we see in Avatar are what the Na'vi have evolved from. So they have a similar thing. They also kind of evolved from apes, but also those aren't apes.

No. That thing on the tree that's blue and looks a bit like a Na'vi apparently is. Okay. That's like their cheek pads are virgin. So they would share an ancestor Yeah Does that mean If you linked in you'd get the ancestor

Where you'd diverge from that How far back does the tree go? They do say that Since the first song or something So presumably they first started Hooking it with the tree Back when they first developed sentience Should have put that ape and a normal human ape.

Oh, right. Yeah. Na'vi ape. So grab the Na'vi ape and the human ape. Yeah. And then mix their DNA and see what happens. Give the chimpanzee an avatar. Yes.

Well, to be honest, I wouldn't be shocked if that didn't happen. Like that probably is how they started because they would have had to experiment on non-humans first right yeah so they probably would have gotten like say a rat like from pandora and a rat from earth but then they would have done that for a bit what's more clever to make a rat avatar or to put a rat and put a rat in a rat avatar or to put a rat in a rat avatar or to put a rat in a regular avatar? Like a rat in a Na'vi avatar because that's what you want to test out, whether the Na'vi avatars work. Well, first off, you want to see if it's viable.

We can even do this, right? So you'd be probably trying to splice with a rat, like a Pandora rat, right? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'd make a Pandora rat avatar. And then you'd see it scurrying around. You're like, we're monitoring the brainwaves of that rat, like the Earth rat, to be like, like okay the earth rat is saying to move

but its body is still but the avatar rat is scurrying around yeah we know it's possible and so and initially it's probably like a cord like an ethernet or something well probably by this point they're doing it the same way they do it in the movie because it seems like this technology already exists on earth yeah in some capacity so it's yeah but yeah you're right they probably are going right to avatar right and then they'd probably go and then do something more complex like say a chimp to uh and then they'd be like okay what about human to avatar chimp yeah and then because i'm assuming navi don't have dicks. What? What do they got? No genitals. What?

So, they do fuck with their hair. They fuck with their hair. They do fuck with their hair. They fuck with their hair. So why were they straddling? I guess just to be intimate. Yeah,

I guess it's nice to cuddle. Yeah. Yeah, okay. All the positions you could get into. Yeah. You could be literally running.

Yeah. Whoa. I guess it's kind of like when two foxes fuck. And then they get startled. Yeah. And they run away together. But he's nodded into it. So they're just like running away.

And then the screaming happens. Yeah. If you're seeing this. Where have you found this out? The Huffington Post. A reputable source. That's unfortunate. That's quotes from James Cameron.

Okay, what's he say there? So basically what happened, and look, this is going to happen every Diplomacy episode. We'll find one bit of information and we'll disregard the topic and then we'll... Just go here. Yeah, right. So I was trying to do some more mammal research quickly and I came across this. I was trying to do some more mammal research quickly and I came across this. So the reason that we know that he gave Na'vi tits

is because that got asked to him at a Q&A. Yeah, great. Actually, from inside the actor's studio, in fact. It's a valid question. I have a question. Excuse me, James Cameron, thank you for making a masterpiece. I am sad that I am not an avatar. Yeah, I do.

However. Yeah, avatar sickness. But why they got titties? What the fat tits situation here? He also in an interview with Playboy, and look, this is very Playboy-esque. So it's... Raunchy? I would say abrasively raunchy.

Okay. Right from the beginning, I said said she's got to have tits even though it makes no sense because of her race the navi are placental mammals good stuff no and then zoe soldano in the dvd commentary says if you sink to your banshee and you're sinking to a tree why not sink into a person i almost feel like you'll have the most amazing orgasm, I guess. So not only- If you sink into a banshee- And a tree, why not sink into a person?

You'll have the most amazing orgasm. What does she mean by banshee? Banshee's the bird. Oh, I thought she meant like the mythical creature that yells at everyone. No, we said that and it just lost it. I'm like, what the fuck does a banshee got to do with it?

You get that post-Avatar depression syndrome from watching Avatar. Imagine what it's like to be in Avatar. Oh, shit. You're thinking about fucking mythical Celtic

fucking ghosts all the time. Oh, sorry. So, wow, okay. Because we, years ago, did an episode of plumbing

of plumbing where we were like is it morally wrong for Jake Sully to fuck all these animals and in that episode the debate was and I think the conclusion

we came to was well no he's actually not fucking them it's like a mind link yeah or it's like I think

correct me if I'm wrong but the example I think I used in that episode is it's a difference between fucking a cow. And making love to it. And kissing a cow in the mouth. Or marrying a cow. So when Jake Sully and Nateeery fuck,

it's like if I fucked the cow and kissed it. That's like when they fucking combine their hair. Wait, so, sorry, I'm continuing on a train of thought because this kind of makes sense why a lot of the things they hunker onto tend to be for life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like with the banshees, except for a horse. So I guess the Pandora horses are sluts. Dirty horses! Dirty whore horses!

Yeah, they just go for whoever is riding them, I suppose. They've got like less of a But yeah Yeah But they do have a thing Which is like When you connect with something Yeah you're connected for life And that is with the banshees

And that is with I guess The bigger banshee Yeah yeah yeah And also I guess your mate Yeah yeah And I guess Yeah So there is this weird like

It is an element of But it is fucking As well But it is fucking as well. Or is it a certain tendril? Yeah, okay. Because you've got a bunch of different tendrils in your hair, Dix. Or your hair, Pussy. No, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, because you connect your hair genitals together.

Yeah. That is nothing. That means nothing. You do it to a tree, you do it to a frog. That's like shaking a hand. Exactly, but when you're in that connected space. There's like a little sneaky thing. Or not even the biological process.

When you're in that connected space, you have like a mind orgasm together. But you've both got to consciously. Choose to? Be like, yeah, we're having a mind. That all happens in consciousnesses. That makes sense when it's like saying like a Navi to a Navi. But now, so what example? So for example, the horse that you've hunged into, what if, because what?

You don't know. Well, if the horse triceps sex with you. Yeah, go on. If the horse triceps sex you in the magic, in the consciousness realm, you just don't reciprocate. Okay, okay. It's like a dog humping your leg. Except it's a horse humping your mind. You shoo it away.

But then what if it catches you unaware? I guess you can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't be caught unaware. See, I always say it's kind of like a handshake, but say in the palm of our hands we all have a little genital that sometimes also connects. I'm so sorry.

I've misled everyone. It turns out that Na'vi have dog dicks. Not actual dog dicks, but it operates in the same way a dog dick does. It's sheathed. Fuck yes. And the reason I know this is because they released Avatar babies, which have exposed dicks. Na'vi babies.

Who did this? Who? Who? Give me their address. I gotta hunt them down. Who did this? Who? Who? Give me their address. I got to hunt them down. Why did they do that? Was this a... No, this is from Gizmodo.

So again, an actual website. Yeah. Is it a canon though? Yeah. And then on the way too detailed avatar, basically the avatar Wikipedia. Yeah. Male Na'vi have their genitalia inside

their bodies, protected by a thin layer of fat. It only comes out literally pushing through the folds of fat when the Na'vi becomes aroused. Oh dear. This is nauseating, this episode. So where was that from? Who gives what? Baby Klon.

What? Yeah, who? I don't know who they are. They make realistic babies. I've seen them before. You can get realistic werewolf babies if you so desire. So, question. So, this thing, who was it? Did James do this?

Well, he would have had to sign off, I don't know. I imagine. So, it's on the Avatar Wikipedia. Yeah, so there's a Na'vi sexuality page. Okay. All right. Okay. Oh!

If you're about to tell me they actually don't have dicks, I'm going to- Huge revelation. Uh-huh. Since this article has been written, the Na'vi sexuality page has been taken down, which makes me think that maybe Way of the Water will explore it? No. Because they are making more Na'e, right? Yeah. They're kid larvaes. Yeah.

So they're breeding somehow. Yeah, but that could be they lay eggs. They connect their hair and they just like, where's the where's the, they got a cloaca? Where's the baby come out? Maybe the egg shoots out of the tail? Or maybe they do a thing where they hunk together and the genetic DNA goes across,

and then the lady's got it in her hair, and she hunks into a tree, and then it grows like a fruit, like an apple of sorts. All we know for sure at the moment is that male larvae, or larvae, they do have dicks.

Yeah. Oh, no, sorry. We don't even know that anymore. The only thing we know is that they don't have outie dicks. Yeah. Oh no, sorry, we don't even know that anymore. The only thing we know is that they don't have out-out-y dicks. They may have no dicks now. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

They cover something up. No, but that's the- the loincloth apparently isn't covering anything. Why have it? Why have it if you're not covering anything? That's why Tarzan had one. Because all the rest of the gorillas were frightened of his outie penis. Gorillas look at his dick.

Oh! Put it in! He's like, I can't. I don't know how. Well, they are. I guess they have a form of modesty. Yeah. But we are seeing them now after first contact with humans.

No, because some of them, there's clearly religious. Yeah, but this is like a lot of times since we've seen them, like as in humans have contacted the Na'vi. Are you suggesting they gave? And some of those Na'vi, they speak English, which means they have gone to the schools, so they have learned this. Did they learn, like how Adam and Eve learnt

shame off a dirty snake? Did the Navis learn original sin? Off us. Maybe, but if they had no genitals to cover, what? Well, that was just scaring us. Yeah, yeah. Like the apes with Tarzan.

We were like, where's your genitals? Look, we don't like this. Cover it up. Okay. But also, like, I'm thinking maybe we're putting our fucked up human ideas of earth sexuality onto the Navis. And in Navi culture, fucking a horse is fine. They're aliens. They got a whole alien biology.

Maybe it's good to fuck a horse. I'm about to go into a terrible place. The furry encyclopedia. Wiki fur. Well, all John Dushan's got is his fucking mining helmet on and pickaxe and we're sending him deep. So while there is that moment where he first honks in with the horse

and then breathes through his lungs and there is a very intimate connection yes yes and so yeah I guess it's like what do you what is the act of because you gotta think about this so fucking is something we evolved to do you feel good yeah but also

just like as a base species as placental mammals we we didn't come out of the creation of the fucking primordial soup ready to fuck. That's something we had to develop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And again, there's like, and the whole idea of that we have sex for pleasure is apparently rare for us on Earth. How did we find that out?

It's been something that I'm like, I've heard many times. Oh, humans and dolphins are the only ones that fuck for pleasure. And I'm like, oh, okay. But then how did they find this out? They must have seen a dolphin pull out. Dolphin put a little dolphin frang-o on. In terms of oral sex, it's not just humans. Yeah, bats are doing it.

Bats are doing it. Bears are doing it. Probably honeybees are doing it. So it's this kind of thing where I'm like, we have like that kind of like, oh, yeah, it's a weird thing. We're the only ones that have sex for like pleasure or whatever. But then like, but why? How did we study that? How did we know that?

I never read. I didn't read the tomes or the texts. I assume that's one of those things where it's kind of like when they find a skeleton, like when archaeologists find a skeleton that is clearly like a female skeleton, and they're like, but it's buried amongst a bunch of warriors, so it was probably a boy or whatever, which happens all the time. Yeah, this woman was buried with her, I guess, good friend, who is also a woman? Yes, and I think they were just besties in this marital

fucking grave. Must have been good friends. I see if it's the same thing. They see a bear sucking another bear off or whatever, and they're like, well, the bear doesn't know what it's doing. You know what I mean? And like, sex for pleasure, they're like, well, that was not obviously done with the intention of creating an offspring.

Like, I don't know, maybe they didn't fucking nut or something. And they're like, it probably wasn't for pleasure, but I think they don't know maybe they didn't fucking nut or something and they're like i probably wasn't for pleasure but i think they don't know okay so i think yeah yeah all right but anyway yes i just want to give a quick shout out to my hero entertainment weekly's annie barrett yeah because in 2010 she speculated that the extended sex scene was cut because it might imply that tendril intertwining is what happens when the Na'vi have sex, which I guess by definition would also mean that they had sex

with the trees and the six-legged panther dogs and the flying peacock lizards. Annie, come on the show! Annie, get on down here! Come on down! Because, yes. So I'm guessing you're right, we're putting our own human kind of like... You're right. It's an alien. We're putting our own human kind of like... If the Na'vi never...

What does it mean to have sex? And what does it mean to kind of be intimate? And what does it mean to... Because, like, again, when they are... They talk about mated pairs pretty often, don't they? Like when they're hunkering in to, say, the horse, and they're like, you're breathing through its lung. You are now telling it to go forward.

You're telling it to go... You are sharing a consciousness, which is a very its lung. You are now telling it to go forward. You're telling it to go. You are sharing a consciousness, which is a very intimate moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing when it comes down to, you know, hunking in with the banshees or the big bird, all those kind of things. When you're doing this, you're doing it arguably,

apart from the horse, a lot of them are like, you're doing this for life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're forming like a very intimate connection. And even though it might not be, well, for humanity, it might be sexual. Yeah. They're like, no, you're making it dirty and filthy. What we're doing is we're connecting to nature. Absolutely.

We are one with everything. Therefore, this is how it kind of works. Evolved. So then when we, I say, one Na'vi connect to another Na'vi. Yeah. It kind of works. Evolved. So then when we, I say, one Na'vi connect to another Na'vi.

Yeah. Like, yeah, that is like the same physical action, but the connection is a lot deeper. Well, yeah. Because we have evolved to have a deeper connection with each other. Absolutely. So like, while the process is the same in terms of physical, like physiologically the same. Yeah. Emotionally, it's not. Well, it's kind of like, you know, like, physiologically the same. Yeah. Emotionally, it's not.

Well, it's kind of like, you know, theoretically, you could fuck a friend. You could fuck a friend. Theoretically, the plumbing boys could engage in an orgy,

right? Yes. We could do it. We could. We could do it if we were all consenting adults. Yeah.

We could all fuck each other's asses. Yeah, we could. And mouths. Yeah, we could slop each other off.

Yeah, but that wouldn't Two thumbs up. We could do that. We could slop each other off and thumbs thumbs up. We could do that. We could slap each other off and thumbs up everyone. Coming down each other's throats. Finish up, shake hands, carry on with our lives. And say good podcast.

Great episode. Great app. See you tomorrow. Then we release it and we just see what happens. See what we do. Break the internet. It's a lot of wet sounds. But that wouldn't necessarily mean that we'd made love.

That's true. You know, those are just labels you're putting on what's happening. We're not in a relationship. No, that means nothing. We were just rutting in the studio. Yeah. Getting full on railed at work. I've put my phone down and caught up, I think.

Yeah, I couldn't get to the bottom of the mystery, but I could get to the bottom of this mystery. Yeah, that's fine. That is 100% A-okay. Just rotten nasty in the studio. It's fine. The problem with this studio is presumably because it's soundproof. And it feels like there's

a seal when you shut the door. I don't know if I'd want to fuck in this room, because imagine... The smell. I guess we get that big window into the studio. Just imagine Xamarin's wife going to get something out of the printer and looking. Shaking her head quietly. I wish they wouldn't fuck my husband, but

he's giving thumbs up, so... They're not making love. This means nothing! I wish they wouldn't fuck my husband, but he's giving thumbs up, so. They're not making love. This means nothing. This is just, if I had a itch on my back and my good friend was there to scratch it. Exactly. Would it not be the same? Don't worry, babe.

This is just a spinoff of an idea we had in our Plummetar episode. Remember Plummetar? We could not have imagined that this is where it would end. We were trying to figure out the difference between fucking with regular, well, I mean, typical- Making love to your beautiful Navi wife or controlling a whore. And this is somehow, I sort of forget why we were doing this. And this is somehow, I sort of forget why we were doing this. We're sort of also trying to figure out if Na'vi do have dick, dick knots and pussy holes. Yeah.

Yeah. If fucking with hair is better, well, because it's a life bond. Yeah. Yeah. Where nodding isn't. This is a good episode. Merry Christmas, by the way. That's coming up soon.

You're not wrong. You're on the ball there. Sure. Why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope you guys got that Christmas joke. Not only a few short weeks away. And with Avatar The Way of the Water coming out next week,

you're going to have to sort out your shopping quick smart so you can go see this movie multiple times. And you've also got to factor in the depression you're going to get because you can't live on Pandora. It's going to really flatten you out for Christmas. Sure is. It's going to be grim. What if the Na'vi do have dicks

And pussy holes Then that means that It's very easy to figure out Because honking Means nothing No it's the other way around No because when Jake fucks Neytiri If they fuck fuck

Well if they fuck fuck That means fucking And if they just honk that's just a fucked thing to do. Well, not fucked. Not a fucked thing to do. Just a weird thing to do suddenly. But if you're doing both at the same time, that's the ultimate. Exactly.

That's the ultimate bonding between two sentient sapient beings. But if you fucked a horse and honked a horse, then that would be bad. But just honking a horse is fine. It's so funny for Jake Sully to get confused. Bond with it. No, no, no, no, no. Well, how does a horse, like an avatar horse,

how do they reproduce? They probably just honk in, or do they just mount each other? And also honk in. Well, it's something... No, horses mount... No, they don't. They're dirty whores.

Never mind. Something you pointed out that I was like, yeah, what's that about? Is that horses have two honking tubes. Yeah, but so do the birds. Yeah, but the avatars only got one. No, but it's just their ponytail. Yeah, but why have two? Why evolve two honking tubes?

What does that do? Yeah. What's the point of that? Does that mean that multiple horses link up in like a chain? Well, I mean, maybe they can connect to each other. Maybe using both at the same time. Ah, you can connect to yourself. Oh, yeah. Oh!

I don't want to see a horse doing that, because I'm like, that horse is going to achieve enlightenment. Stop it. We can't have that. Or it's about to come. Either one. Both at the same time. Its eyes go wide and it just shoots a rope of white jism onto the floor. Pandora is bad.

Maybe it's time to leave Pandora. They do hate this. Yeah, actually, spot on. They won't be about light. Okay, so serious question. What was the topic again? I have gotten lost. What?

What? This is the first time this has ever happened to me. We did Plumlight, right? Earlier this year. Yeah. And one episode made us lose our minds. We stepped into Avatar for a fucking moment. I don't remember.

Something to do with, is it the best use of the... Yeah, what's the best use for an Avatar, baby? Yeah, okay. The Avatar program? Is that the best use for the Avatars?'s the best use for an avatar, baby? Yeah, the avatar program. Is that the best use for the avatars? That's right. We're close, I think. We're getting close. It's, um...

I mean, it's pretty good. They probably could have done... Well, they won on Obtanium, but that's just one company because they want to get rich. Yeah, because the technology presumably is available to multiple people yeah

I think again I think this is a using multiple other like forms of technology yeah and so it's sort of converging yeah I think they are using

some of that technology from like say Cryo Sleep and they're using some like technology probably to probably help people with prosthetics right yeah yeah

so I think they're kind of using a lot of pre-existing or future pre-existing technologies, merging them together, and then we get this. Do you think RDA has the copyright or the patent on using it to make another living thing to kind of... No, I don't think they earn the copyright at all because they seem kind of annoyed it's happening.

Yes, true, true, true, true, true. So does that mean theoretically are Yes, true, true, true, true, true. So, does that mean theoretically are there beyond Pandora any other things that we could think to use? It's crazy it's taken us this long to get here. What's the length, I mean distance between when I, from me

and my avatar? Is there some? Doesn't appear to be any. No, but there must be some because they needed Jake Sully to actually go to Pandora. Yeah. So it has to be. Because otherwise you could have just been back on Earth. Just shoot my consciousness light years ahead. Wake up six years away. Yeah.

Actually, maybe not. Maybe it is necessary for him to be on Pandora. Well, yeah, because again, if you weren't, you'd have to go to sleep and you'd shoot your consciousness. It would take three years. Okay, now we're getting into David's territory again. What speed does a consciousness travel? Because it isn't instant. Because if it is, well, if it is instant.

No, but we see in the movie it's not. No, it is. No, he has to travel through the tube. Time passes, however small, for him to get into the Avatar. But when they slam the button, it's an instant, right? No, it's not. No. You have to go through the tube.

Now, it's not long. And because every time they hit the button, there's always a shot where they're walking and then fall over. So maybe in that moment when he's switching Switching between himself And Avatar Yeah And like He's losing oxygen That seems pretty Yeah I know It's short But it's not immediate

But then again the distance there Is quite short He is really close to his body Yeah That means Consciousness travels out of speed And also that means In Avatar

Well yeah And so there is So there is a tube That we can't see But there is a tube that your consciousness can travel through that can connect one thing to the other. Yeah. And so. I just watched like someone draw an arrow on a whiteboard and go to circle something and then just circle nothing.

board and go to circle something and then just circle nothing and be like and uh so no no no so we know that sorry i just couple head steps ahead so if we were so the the pro so the big tree yeah is an upload and download right uh-huh you can travel pandora in an instant. You can teleport Tandora instantly if you have a vessel somewhere. So if you were, say you were where the big tree was, you hunked in, and you had a body that was, say, near the water tribe. Yeah, hunked into whatever their tree is. You could travel. But it's not instant instant. No.

No, no, no. But it's quicker than walking. So you could theoretically You'd need two bodies Yeah yeah And you Because you are travelling At the speed of thought

Whatever that is But you also need The entire tribe To Because like they do the No No no no No

Because all that tree is Is like the cloud Of everyone's consciousness Yeah this is an Upward jam load Where Jason Segel Where Jason Segel Yeah yeah Where there's the sex tape is It's in the cloud In the cloud of everyone's consciousness. Yeah, this is an upload jam load. Where Jason Segel and... Where Jason Segel, yeah, yeah, where those sex tapers.

It's in the cloud. And what happens when they try to put Sigourney Weaver's body into her avatar is they're like, it actually just went into the cloud. It didn't go into the avatar. She's now one with Iyawa. Oh, yeah, which is how she's going to be

playing a new character in the upcoming film Avatar Way of Water. So if you had another tree on the other side of the planet with another vessel in it, you could go into the first tree, and they do talk about how every tree is basically connected, right? Yeah. They do talk

about that the roots of the trees have like a 10 to the power or whatever, and they're all connected to each other more than the human brain. So you could travel through the planet. Because Pandora apparently is more complex than the human brain when it comes to the network. Yeah, so assuming there is a lot of pathways. You don't want to get lost.

Oh no, I'm a dog. Oof! Come on. The Avatar dog. The Pandora dog was honking at the same time. Wait, so what if you were, an avatar dog sorry a pandorian dog yeah and you're walking by say that big tree and with a big long like tendrils that just brush up against the like the floor right and you just happen to brush up your tendrils well you would

remember everything the navi had ever experienced and become a profoundly different dog. Because I'm assuming that's instinctual for you to hunk onto each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's not something you consciously do. No, no, no. The conscious effort there is jamming your hunk tube into the other hunk tube. That's the conscious effort, right? But the things connecting seems to be instinctual. So if you wanted to, you could pick up your, say,

Pandorian cat and put it up onto the big tree. But the way they put them on the cloud, remember, is they have to do that huge ceremony where they presumably use their... No, no, no, because there's been times where it's just Jake, just there on the cloud. That's to access the cloud

but not to upload to the cloud. Because to upload to the cloud, clearly you need the bioelectrical signature of all of the Navi pumping to give the tree more power. But when you do it yourself, you're like... It seems like you're just accessing the memory. Basically, it's the difference

between going on Google and being Google. Theoretically, if I have my Pandorian cat and I pick it up and put its little hunking tube onto the tree, it would then access... The internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about this?

Dogs shouldn't be online. Could you puppet a human corpse? No. Why not? Could I puppet my... Could Jake Sully puppet Tom Sully? No. The only evidence I have of that is the fact that Grace can't do it because she dies.

No, but she's dead. She's dying. She's got no body to puppet. No, yeah. So the problem of that not working was that she'd been shot, and so she was weak and dying, right? Yeah, yeah. So if she wasn't weak and dying,

it would have happened like that, right? Well, then the body you're going into is weak and dead. Yeah, but that doesn't matter. That's the vessel. That's a bit of meat. But surely the bit of meat needs brain functions. It's the same reason in the movie where the avatars are like... We had this discussion last week.

That's true. Well, then could I go into you? Could I go into my brother? Obviously, I couldn't go into you. We don't share a genetic signature. But my brother does. Yeah. Maybe.

You could raise your brother and then have two bodies. That's a fucked up thing to do to someone. Well, yeah. We're with their consciousness. What did you think was going to happen? But also, I'm guessing if someone's in a coma, you could get them out and to say, if you were in a coma,

and your brother is like, No one's sad. Finally some peace and quiet. Jackson deserves life, whatever. I'm going to sacrifice my self, my ego, so that Jackson will house a body.

They could wheel your comatose body in next to your brother and I'm guessing you could hop in. I'm assuming that would wipe out your brother's ego and personality or you'd have two people into one body.

Because that's why they keep the avatars mindless. Smooth brain. Bounce right off. Oh, no. Because that's why they keep the avatars... Yeah, mindless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smooth brain. Chicken brains. Just bounce right off. No thoughts. Because, again, they need to have no consciousness.

It's really bad, guys. Yeah. But... What would you do with them? What would you do with an avatar? I might shut it down. The best use of the program is to stop it. I think there's a lot more you could do with the Avatar program that doesn't involve an RV.

Yeah, absolutely. If I was in charge of any kind of this kind of program, it's like, well, there's a lot of things that are out there that are just dangerous. Yeah, yeah. And why are we using, say, a robot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five billion to make. Yeah. If the planet shares electrons like the human brain, could you?

Oh, yes. Become Pandora? Avatar the planet? No! Because all you're doing is adding to the consciousness, right? Yeah, you just get lost. Oh, yeah, that's true. So that, in theory, you and your brother, if...

We could share. No, what if Pandora's a big avatar? Wait. Like, he's a big brain. Yeah. And the Na'vi going into it. Yeah. Kind of like how that Jake Sully and that go into an avatar.

No, but Jake Sully speaks to the planet, remember? And it works, which means that there's something there. That's what I mean. Yeah. Because that something is saying. Iwa? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Iwa.

Say if Iwa is just like. Cool name. Yeah. Awesome name. So what if. Yeah. Yeah, what if. What if.

So, okay. Uh-huh. It's a big brain, right? Yeah. And so, for example, like all the Na'vi, like where did they come from? What if Na'vi are simply just an individual representation of Iwa, right? And so when they die, it's like Iwa getting an aspect of themselves back, a little tiny fraction of them back.

Yeah. So that the planet is in itself one organism, right? But then each little bit of it is just... It is all connected. It is all... So it's basically just like there's one creature called the Iwa. Iwa. Slash Pandora. Yeah, Iwa slash Pandora.

And then it's like, well, I need to look after my body. Yeah. So I'm going to do that myself by making little guys. But, yeah. Yeah. And so then when everyone dies and he becomes part of me again, I'm getting my memories back. Or, like, they're being, like, sucked back into my brain

and I'm experiencing that. or they're being sucked back into my brain and I'm experiencing that. I am Pandora experiencing myself as Na'vi. You're a big guy, but you're seeing life from the perspective of a little guy until you die and then you're back to big guy. And then when I'm connecting everybody and then maybe when I eventually get enough people,

what happens? What about the fact that now if that is true, Iwa is getting a bunch of alien intelligences up it? That's weird. It's learning, right? It's getting the memories of

something that's far into distance and if I have control The moment Jake honked into the planet, the planet learned. Yeah. How much do you reckon the planet rewrote him? A lot. Heaps.

Yeah, nonstop. Yeah. Constantly. So I am this planet. Yeah. I have complete control of the creatures that are being made on this planet. Yeah. So in theory, I could start pumping out things that are designed to help me stop whatever is happening.

Well, I guess you actually kind of see that in the movie when the animals defend the planet, right? That's Iowa being like, well, the Navi isn't enough right now. Got to get the animals. But then it's like I could, by design, make other things. Like I could make, like I say, like a bird that can go into outer space and attack the ships you know what i mean if in the subsequent avatar movies there's a bird that can go into outer space this will i mean i it's already the greatest franchise of all time yeah with one movie to the upper echelon you know what you know what i mean I'm now learning through, well, I've got two sources now.

Yeah. Grace and I've got Jake. Yeah. Right? So now I've learned kind of like from a scientific mind. Never hung with Grace. But she got uploaded.

She got uploaded. She got uploaded. Yeah, so I'm there. I can access her memory. Jake is like, access the memories. You have memories. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Grace has memories of Earth. And like, see what they fucking did. They just destroyed it. There's no green, right? Yeah. So you've got memories of that. Yeah. Then you also have memories of Jake because he uploaded himself to then get downloaded into the body.

No, he never uploaded himself to Iowa, though. Well, he had to have. Why? Because they did the ceremony at the end. Oh, yeah. Okay. At the end. At the end.

At the end. Yeah. Did she just copy-paste? Is there a consciousness of Jake in the cloud? Did Jake Sully die? And now the Sully that is in the abyss. That would certainly explain the semen. Yeah.

It would. Yeah. Anyway, so she's got... AOR has two... Doesn't explain the cock situation. Yeah, nothing will. Until we see it. Yeah.

Well, they've got a nipple. They're just building up to it. That's nice. So they've got two consciousness that knew, or memories that knew Earth. Yeah. One from a scientific point of view,

one from like a military point of view. Yeah. That's going to give, like myself, like Ewa. Ewa? Ewa. Ewa.

Pandora. Ewa. Knowledge of like, first off from like a scientist, it's like scientific process, right? Awa Pandora Awa knowledge of like first off from like a scientific process but then the

knowledge of the horrors of war so then even though they've experienced what can happen first hand where they

should have a tree but now I know what they do to themselves we fifth elemented we kind of fifth elemented

the tree slash the planet but the planet can't do anything about it. It can't come from Earth. Well, no. Well, can't it? No. Why not?

Because if it starts moving through space, it will kill everything on the planet. It could send people to Earth, though. It could send people to Earth on Josephus' space boot. No, I send spores. What if I can send... It's quite a distance between the planets. Yeah, I know, but what if I send spores out into the, like, interplanetary?

Maybe? And we know that we can connect tubes with thought. I don't- That doesn't need- You don't need physical, tangible things to touch. I think- I mean, maybe she could leave spores on the fucking ships that are flying back and forth through Earth. Yeah.

Which is sort of a worry. And again, like flying back and forth through Earth. Yeah. Which is sort of a worry. And again, like, big brain, big thoughts. Yeah. That's true. But then also, why would Pandora care about Earth? Well, it's a threat. Well, it's, yeah. I guess. Kind of. She also

only has two memories, right? In that big morass of memories that Iowa has. And weirdly, Jake Sully loved war before. He did love war. That is true. He thought war was awesome. Unreal even. Yeah, until

this happened. Like, there's actually nothing until he gets... Oh, wait, no, the very opening line he's like, war sucks. Yeah, but then later on he's like, when he's shouting to the main army guy, he's all in. Well, he's like, war sucks. Yeah, but then later on he's like, when he's shouting to the main army guy, he's all in. Well, he's kind of like, he doesn't give a shit about anything anymore.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's following orders. He's still getting the memories, though. But then Iowa has to interpret them, I guess. Iowa's going to get that memory that Jake talks about at the start where he's like, what I'm dreaming. I dream of getting shot through the stomach or something.

Maybe the fact that he dreams of flying is already implication that your theory is happening. Uh-oh. Iowa was maybe in Jake Sully from the beginning. So maybe this- Because Iowa knew what was going to happen. Maybe- It did. Iowa knew that Jake Sully was important somehow.

Yeah, that's true. Is the speed of thought from... So we know there is a speed of thought, right? But we know the speed of thought of, say, the human consciousness, it's slowish, right? So it kind of goes from A to B. What if the speed of thought for a planet

is so fast it actually goes back in time? Oh, no. Because of like, what if it can go to Earth? Well, maybe maybe the cloud does have memories of

the future. Maybe that when you upload to the cloud, it's forever in the cloud. Maybe, yeah. So when Jake honked. Maybe it's not just like for not just now, but the past. Yeah, and the future. He honked. Maybe it's not just like for not just now, but the past. Yeah. And the future. He honked.

He honked. When you honk in, you were right the very first time, JD, you said it. You download, you get access to everything that ever was and will be. Maybe you're right. Maybe it was the will be. Yeah. Maybe then. And then.

And then. And Iowa knew that she needed Jake Sully to save her from the situation that was about to happen. So she stopped the theory from killing him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But before that, she gave him dreams of flying so that when the opportunity, maybe, maybe Iowa got into a random mugger. And stabbed fucking Tommy. And stabbed Tommy fucking Sully. So that Jake Sully, after having dreams of flying his whole life

is now presented with an opportunity to go to another planet takes it and because he wasn't a scientist his cup was empty giving the opportunity for the Na'vi to be like well come on in well it worked

she is the good guy that fucking planet killed a guy that planet stabbed a man. For the paper in his wallet. That's funny she still made him actually mug him. I guess otherwise it might arouse suspicion. But it would never be linked back to a planet. No.

Not the rest of the planet. You cannot. So I guess while they do have, I guess Iowa has a lot of power and a lot of control, she doesn't have complete control. Yeah. So that's why she doesn't have complete control. Yeah. So that's why she needs to have these machinations in place. Is Jake

Sully her avatar? I guess so. Because it does the will of the planet. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Wow, guys. Because an avatar, like the definition of an avatar is the mortal representation of a god on Earth. And Jake Sully is famously an empty cop.

Huh. And Jake Sully is famously an empty cop. And he is a mortal representation of, say, maybe a certain... A planetized intelligence that might as well be a god. Some sort of celestial being is controlling... Cheeky of the planet to fuck someone. Yeah! But if you were a planet, you'd fuck yourself all the time. Oh, yeah! Why the hell not? Wow! of the planet to fuck someone. But if you were a planet, you'd fuck yourself all the time.

Why the hell not? Wow. What's a better use for the avatar program? Jake Sully is an avatar for God. I guess a skateboarding competition. That's my answer. I become a boo.

Let's go diving. Yeah, That's my answer. That's pretty good. I become a boo. Let's go diving. Yeah, let's go diving. Okay. All right. Well, hey. Yeah. And on that note, this has been another episode of Plummetar, and I have been Joel. And I have been Jackson.

And I have been also Joel. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you. We see you.

James Cameron has done irreversible damage to our brains. See you next week when we finally see an avatar. Thank you.